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SewingHappy Archive

View 3 posts and 51 comments by SewingHappy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I understand, and thanks for all the background info; it's nice to have. I'm really new here (as you already know) and tend to jump around between the different RP subs b/c I feel like they all have something useful to offer. I've been posting mostly over at Redpillwomen and they are very anti-plate now. They have pretty clear rules about male participation which I think is nice; I do believe some male input can be useful. The mods over there are very strict about anything that comes off as not …
/r/RedPillWives12/11/17 05:25 PM
1

Hey, you should check out /r/RedPillWomen. It's a pretty active subreddit, and there are tons of awesome ladies that may have some additional input/advice.
/r/RedPillWives10/11/17 02:09 AM
5

I get what you're saying but, realistically, what are the chances that he ends up coming around and she's not just continuing to waste her time? It may not be sexy to have "the talk" but it seems like it would be more beneficial to her in the long run. If he isn't interested they can both go they're separate ways and she can start fresh vs her continuing to invest herself in this non-relationship hoping he decides he wants to commit.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/17 03:29 AM
1

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this; you're husband's behavior really is abhorrent. Everyone is right about you needing to stand up for yourself. That means if you feel you need your medication to function then you take it without guilt. Absolutely you should talk to your husband about this. It isn't right that he ridicules you for a disorder you've had since childhood. That is just so low and really does sound like mental/emotional abuse. Please don't try to have kids until you guys can work …
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/17 05:01 PM
3

I just want to let you know I feel you. My situation isn't as bad, but a lot of what is in your post are things that I am dealing with currently. You feel overworked, unloved, and your husband is failing to show proper leadership in your marriage. Here are some things I'm working on: Talk less: by this I mean don't keep coming to him with the same complaints (if this is happening). You CAN talk about something too much, so if you feel like you keep bringing issues/concerns to him and after you t…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/17 02:55 AM
2

No wrists, arms, shoulders, neck, underbust etc? Is it hard to design your own patterns, or sew without a pattern? I literally dream of dresses in great detail, I would love to make some of them Nope, none of those other measurements. I am still a beginner, and don't get to practice as much as I'd like, so I am no where near designing my own patterns. I know you can take classes for that and I've read some people wished they had learned that skill first. I also know that, as far as design goes, …
/r/RedPillWives22/10/17 05:09 PM
2

How many measurements do you take, and how hard is it to fit your proportions exactly? And do you need a lot to get started? A sewing machine, materials, some..pressing, thing? Measurements are bust, waist, & hips. As far as fitting your proportions I think it depends a lot on the pattern. The first two clothing items I made (knit dress and maxi skirt) were super easy for me and I had little to no fit issues (I think the dress was not as fitted as I wanted it to be at the hip, so I took it in a …
/r/RedPillWives22/10/17 01:58 PM
2

Thanks so much for your response. I do have a lot of internal strife (it's mostly come up the last few years) that I have been trying to work through, both on my own and--occasionally--with a counselor. I know it's really important to make an effort to work through your issues, and it's true that I've put a lot of blame on my husband. Not to say he's blameless in regards to the issues we've been having, but I know that I could have handled everything better. I at least need to take ownership ove…
/r/RedPillWives22/10/17 03:55 AM
3

It's really fun and, while it is a learned skill, it's not difficult to pick up! Learn to thread a sewing machine, cut out pattern pieces, sew them together and you're good. You have to try it one of these days! I get all my jeans from American Eagle because they're inexpensive, they have them in short sizes, and they usually fit me pretty well. I really want to try some different jean brands, but I wouldn't even know where to start, lol.
/r/RedPillWives22/10/17 03:12 AM
11

I've never been one to really dress for anyone but myself, and it's only been in the last few years that I've been making a huge effort to dress more feminine, which my husband does seem to like. I do want to make a comment about clothing options though. I am hard to fit (short and petite) and always ended up paying tons of extra money on clothing alterations (sometimes with terribly depressing outcomes :/) that could have just gone towards getting more clothes. Anyway, I took up sewing this pas…
/r/RedPillWives22/10/17 02:56 AM
3

Welcome! I'm new here too, but I just want to say the people here are awesome and super supportive/willing to give advice. Hopefully, you can get some good takeaway from this sub (I have so far). Anyway, a few things stick out to me: He says he has been unhappy with us for the past 2 years. As much as both of us tried to do better and be better - it was never enough for either of them and they remained distant and closed off. I have been a miserable wreck the past 3 years trying to understand th…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/17 09:31 PM
1

If you're afraid of asking him to take time away from studying and relaxing, I would try to implement something that doesn't involve talking. Maybe hold his hand while he's in his study working and you read a book, or let him lay his head in your lap while you stroke his hair. You seem like maybe you're looking for more face-to-face or conversation based quality time and, of course, I don't know anything about your husband (maybe hand holding while he's in his study will irritate him), but if no…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/17 04:11 AM
3

We did try the once a week date when he began residency, and he was really excited about it in the beginning. But usually by the time he gets back from work, he's exhausted and though he puts on a brave face and says we can go out, I know he just wants to stay at home and rest. Is there any reason why you can't turn rest time at home into quality time for the both of you? I understand that having quiet time by yourself it isn't quite the same as just hanging out or having a low key chat with you…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/17 01:47 AM
1

Thanks for the insight. I will make it a point to talk about this particular mindset with him.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/17 10:49 PM
2

I agree with you. I love my husband, but I don't want my old marriage. I'm not really sure how to create an entirely new marriage though if both parties are exactly the same. Wouldn't creating a new marriage require change on both our parts? Anyway, I have been taking steps towards changing myself (attitudes & behaviors), and I'm hoping that it encourages my husband to make positive changes as well. He is responding well to the recent changes in my behavior, and hopefully that leads to something…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/17 08:12 PM
1

I'm not really sure what you mean by I "haven't owned my shit," but it's true that I would (probably) leave if I could: meaning if we didn't have kids together. I left home at 18yrs, I am working towards a degree, I can take care of myself (without kids). However, going through life as a single mom isn't something that I want, and because I don't want to up end their little lives I do think seriously about the impact/repercussions of every potential decision. Anyway, I've written other posts on …
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/17 09:31 PM
1

Thanks for the comment. I really wish that I could take a break with my degree program, but that isn't possible. My husband and I are both prior military and using GI Bill benefits to go to school. My attending school, right now, is so that he can focus on his education, 100%, without having to worry about trying to hold down a job too.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/17 01:56 PM
3

I think as long as your husband is on board you should go ahead with it. Do what you guys believe will work best for your family and forget about what everyone else thinks (it's not their family/marriage)! I know for my family, things run so much more smoothly when I am able to be home full-time, and right now, I am trying to position myself so that, after I finish my degree program, I can work part-time from home. What do you do? Would it be possible for you to turn your career into something y…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/17 06:53 AM
4

Thanks for the offer! Just don't think I'm a crazy person if I do PM you talking about midterms and my awful English professor! :)
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/17 03:33 AM
2

I will look into those books. I think I'm trying that, but it mostly makes me come off as cold. Ex. me wearing panties to bed was kinda my way of expressing my displeasure, playing a little hard to get, idk. It just makes him think I don't love him, or at least that's what he says. I guess I'm not doing it right, lol. :P I really do enjoy this forum, there is a lot of useful info!
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/17 01:51 AM
1

Thank you for the comment. I'm going to be working a lot on implementing the changes that people have mentioned, as well as things I already know I need to be working on, including being kinder to his mom (We are having dinner with her and the rest of the fam Thurs for her birthday. Perfect place to start!). My husband scoffs at a lot of the stuff I'm into (RP), but he is naturally more traditional, so hopefully if I alter my behavior he will alter his. And I do love him very much. I didn't marr…
/r/RedPillWives18/10/17 01:46 AM
1

I agree that he isn't intentionally trying to hurt me with his comments and I realize talking doesn't help, it just kinda sucks. When we're done with school the plan is that we'll move out of state. Hopefully he'll be able to get a decent job (I think it's likely with his degree but we'll see), and we can move back to a traditional marriage. I believe all of these things will help to alleviate some stress. I haven't really talked to him about him being a better leader, because I agree that it wo…
/r/RedPillWives18/10/17 01:27 AM
1

Thank you it means a lot.
/r/RedPillWives17/10/17 01:50 AM
2

Wow, you've really got a story. I'm glad for you that you and you're husband were able to work through that. I think it really says something that you two were/are that dedicated to each other. And I do feel ya on not know exactly how worse, lol. I've been scratching my head for a while wondering what I got myself into. :P
/r/RedPillWives17/10/17 01:37 AM
2

Yes, finances are fine currently. We have a good amount in savings and because we were both military members our education is paid for and we get a housing stipend. We have no debts. This is how we can afford to survive just by going to school. He really doesn't like me spending money on stuff. He is more thrifty. Seriously, most of his clothes are from high school. Thank you for your comment. I know God forgives, but I just wish that I had had the courage to make the choice that was right in Go…
/r/RedPillWives17/10/17 12:37 AM
2

Um, a lot of questions/assumptions here, but I'll try my best to answer all of them. yes, he is my only relationship and I am his only relationship. we met in high school. A few nights ago we were walking upstairs to go to bed and we were walking past a large open window that faces our loft. When I walk past this window, in a state of undress, at night I stoop down so that no one can see me (unfortunately, you can see through this window from outside, even at night and it is uncovered b/c we are…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/17 12:31 AM
1

Yeah, I know that just the fact that I wouldn't want to sleep around would probably make me not worth it to most men, which is a problem in and of itself. Thanks for the well wishes!
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/17 11:44 PM
1

Hmm, maybe. But he's very stressed, he's most likely depressed, our youngest child really is a handful, and my husband is still here, doesn't beat them, plays with them pleasantly... Idk. I guess I have a different opinion b/c I'm about 99% sure that my dad wished he didn't have my brother and I. He was definitely emotionally absent, but he always did his best to raise us right and provide for us. We had a lot of opportunities growing up because he didn't walk out on us.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/17 11:37 PM
2

Thanks, will look into those.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/17 11:12 PM
1

It's true that the last few years have been a mess. And I completely agree with you that I made a decision based on my own fear, and I hate that about myself. Haven't posted on r/mrpw or r/redpillwives yet. I thought maybe I needed a male perspective, but that will be my next stop. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/17 11:08 PM
1

Ok, didn't realize. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/17 10:53 PM
1

I'm not sure he would do individual counseling (I've mentioned it to him before and he's said no), but he seemed like he'd be willing to go to marital counseling with me when I brought it up. Thanks for the resource, I will look into that book.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/17 10:52 PM
1

Thank you, I'll look into those resources.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/17 10:44 PM
1

Thanks for the link. Out of curiosity, how do beta skills factor in a red pill relationship (provided they really aren't unreasonable requests)?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/17 10:44 PM
2

I'm sorry, I saw that but hidden in there is a section that says "are women welcome here?" or something like that, and mentioned that you could post questions provided they're respectful. I thought I'd at least try since a ban is the worst that could happen, but I guess I should have figured it wouldn't be okay since it's clearly visible in the sidebar.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/17 10:41 PM
3

I can't realistically see myself have sex indiscriminately (it grosses me out honestly, to think of sex like that), but I get what you're saying, that it isn't pleasant over all. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience. Glad you were able to get away from an alcoholic and move on to better things and a happy relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/17 01:08 PM
1

Like others have mentioned, it's really important for you to examine your insecurities and possibly get help for them. I can absolutely understand not wanting to feel objectified, and I understand that's something you would especially want to avoid b/c of your preference to abstain from sex for religious reasons (husband and I did that as well), but when you get married (not necessarily to your current boyfriend) you don't want to be in a position where you're unable to take a sincere compliment…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/17 12:42 AM
6

I couldn't cook much when I first left home. When my husband and I started living together I would go to allrecipes.com and look up what I wanted to eat, using the recipes with the best reviews. Most of the time it would come out great, just as long as you stick with the recipe. As you get better at cooking you may naturally start to alter the recipes a little to your liking. Note: A good pot roast recipe will be a life saver! Tastes great and super easy to make. added: I have a friend that swea…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 10:58 PM
2

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone that's taken the time to read and respond. It's been helpful to have a more positive outlook on things, and I do get what everyone is saying. I really enjoy this community, so I'm hoping to become an active member and post some updates/more questions in the future. I'll try not to bug too much! Thanks again for the support!
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 10:53 PM
2

Thanks for this, it really does help to know that someone has gone through something similar and has come out on the other side with a whole marriage (although I know you said it was a lot of work to rebuild that relationship). School has been really rough and I'm sure things will get better after, but the waiting and slogging through it is tough (you know all about that though)!
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 10:48 PM
1

I will keep all this in mind. I'm honestly not sure why my husband was so interested in me in our teens (outside of looks). Back then I was some strange mixture of feminist (stubbornly independent, don't need a man for anything) and red pill (didn't believe in hooking up, very modest, dating with intention of marriage, etc), lol. I will be trying to look back and rekindle some of that earlier infatuation. I understand making him a priority.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 10:45 PM
3

It's really silly. Upstairs we have a huge, uncovered window that faces our loft and unfortunately you can see into the house from outside (even at night unfortunately) When I pass by at night, in a state of undress, I usually stoop down so I don't have to worry about anyone seeing me. My husband thinks it's dumb. Can't really do anything about the window b/c we're renters and we'd need a huge ladder to get to it. It's a strange set up.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 02:30 PM
1

Thank you for the comment. I know you're right and it's something I have been struggling with a little bit with everything that has been going on. Husband and I are going to watch a movie together after the kids go to bed tonight. I will try to make a point to be more loving to him. Just out of curiosity, do you ever have times when you feel like maybe you're putting more into the marriage than you are getting out of it? If so, how do you push through that point?
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 01:50 AM
1

thanks for the reply. I'm not really okay with divorce, I just don't really want to be unprepared (expectations, etc) if it happens. I really am an obsessive planner. Anyway, that's something that won't be on the table for at least another 2yrs, so there is a lot of time to try to work through things. And we should be out of the rough patch by then. If things aren't getting better after a couple years then it's probably because there was a big breakdown in communication somewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 01:47 AM
3

Thanks for your comment/honesty. I have been a little checked out since a few weeks or so ago. Not completely, I haven't given up, I think I'm just a little tired. But since I posted here I have been trying to make a shift in thinking a just come up with some ways to improve things on my side with the hope that things will get better overall.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 01:41 AM
2

Thanks for your reply and honesty. Unfortunately, there's no way for us to cut back on our class schedule. Thank goodness we don't have to work right now, otherwise I don't know how we would manage. There are no marriage disqualifiers; like you said, we are in a rough patch. I really do tend to get ahead of myself (ex. when we first moved back to our home state 3yrs ago I was already looking for places for us to move into out of the state), so this isn't unusual behavior for me, it just comes of…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 01:39 AM
1

I have worked customer service, but that was over a decade ago, lol. Even so, I get what you're saying and I'll try to work on letting him vent more and being a safe person for that. Then end of the next 1.5yrs is definitely something I'm trying to look forward to. It's just a little rough at this particular junction in life. Been waiting for things to get better for a while, but it's almost done, and hopefully things will improve significantly after.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 01:18 AM
4

Thanks for these questions, they're helpful. I have read the 5 love languages and we both value physical touch, but he also values quality time together. I think maybe he might value quality time slightly less, but still close to 50/50. Yeah, he mostly wants me to be near him, so when I run off or try to be alone, he believes I don't love him. We do try to make an effort to communicate. I can be tight lipped about things b/c I feel like he can take some things I say the wrong way, but we try to …
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/17 11:18 PM
4

First of all, I want to thank you so much for being understanding. What happened was a very difficult and controversial thing to go through and so I am always nervous about people's reactions to it (at least online, as no one irl knows). I don't overly dot on the kids. I think husband mostly feels that way because our youngest is a very difficult child. I suspect the youngest may either have adhd or some mild autism, but there hasn't been any type of diagnosis for him. His doctor has recommended…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/17 10:24 PM
3

More background about my husband and I: We were each other's first boyfriend/girlfriend. At this point, I realize it was probably foolish to marry the first person that I dated, but we had/have complimentary personalities, the same religious background, and thought we had similar ideas on what we wanted out of life. He is incredibly intelligent (one of the reasons I love him so much) and while he isn't the most physically attractive (probably a 5), I am attracted to him. There are some things th…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/17 09:57 PM
3

I would actually. To be honest, I was really hesitant about posting specifics about my relationship after reading the sidebar b/c I didn't want to come off as husband bashing. I do love my husband and that wouldn't be my intention, but I know that things can be easily misconstrued over the internet. I did post something in r/relationships some weeks ago, that has a lot more detail regarding the current status of my relationship, but I can give other background about mine and my husband's persona…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/17 09:09 PM
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