SexCoachSarah Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
55	What's the theme of this year's International Men's Day?	Activism/Support	SexCoachSarah	/r/MensRights	27/09/20 06:15 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	How do you feel about all these women on social media saying "don't approach us, it's creepy" Hello, friend! Thank you for your patience in awaiting a reply from me. I haven't forgotten about this conversation. If I have it right, your first question here refers to me personally. For me, my base minimum was that the people I was seeing were able to take care of themselves - that they were self-sufficient and not looking for me to be in a provider role. I have had a previous partner who did want me in that role, and I found it exhausting. My preference in relationships is to be with peopl…	/r/seduction	25/02/22 07:47 AM
1	How do you feel about all these women on social media saying "don't approach us, it's creepy" I shared more about my professional background as you brought it into the conversation, hence it was relevant. If I understand you well, you want to know about my personal experiences related to dating / sex / relationships. Please tell me if I have misunderstood. In the present moment, I am monogamously married to a cisgender man. He is a software developer and is not on the spectrum. He is maybe 170cm, 55kg, wears glasses. Prior to meeting my husband, I practiced polyamory. My partners have in…	/r/seduction	25/01/22 08:26 PM
1	How do you feel about all these women on social media saying "don't approach us, it's creepy" No worries, friend. I communicate regularly with people on the spectrum and I understand your intent. Yes - I am a Dating Coach and that is what I do for a living. It is what I have dedicated my life to. I came to the profession by way of clinical sexology (I am a certified sex coach, my training cumulatively is over 1000 hours) and sociology (I have a master's in sociology, I wrote my thesis about pickup artists), so it's not like I woke up one day and just thought - huh, why don't I do this. T…	/r/seduction	08/01/22 12:45 PM
1	How do you feel about all these women on social media saying "don't approach us, it's creepy" People who have checklists of characteristics on their profiles are exactly the kind of people to avoid. They kind of do everyone a favor by making it really obvious. I have a lot of resources on my website - a lot of blog posts that cover a lot of different things. I also have some cool optins - a Guide to Flirting Archetypes and a video that teaches the basics of body language. I have some other PDFs that I include in bonuses here and there that I'd be happy to share with you if I thought they…	/r/seduction	07/01/22 06:47 AM
1	How do you feel about all these women on social media saying "don't approach us, it's creepy" Sorry it's taken me a minute to get back to you - I've been off dealing with some health matters and it has been reducing my available energy significantly. Your desires aren't laughable - they are honest. It is the honesty of desire that makes it a vulnerable thing. It is also what makes it potently attractive to the people who want the same things, to share the same experiences. In terms of practical guidance on any given desire, some desires work better as fantasy (for example, for people who…	/r/seduction	06/01/22 09:27 AM
1	How do you feel about all these women on social media saying "don't approach us, it's creepy" Hello Friend! OK - I will keep this reply more brief. Regarding this: But, if what you try to optimize is a turd, then all you'll have at the end is an over-engineered turd. I mean that if you use routines and tactics that were designed to work in one way, and that way is not in alignment with what you actually want, it's pointless to get really good at it because you'll still be unsatisfied with the outcome. Most (but not all) traditional PUA optimizes for volume and not for pleasure. If what y…	/r/seduction	23/12/21 08:34 AM
0	How do you feel about all these women on social media saying "don't approach us, it's creepy" Autistic guys can absolutely find partners. In fact, in cases where your autism doesn't require the assistance of a carer for maintaining daily life, neurodivergence can become a superpower when you know how. Not sure if you're talking about yourself, or someone else - I will address my response to "you," though if you were referring to a friend, understand that I am referring to them. If the game is rigged, don't play the game. The way "traditional" relationships are framed have failure baked i…	/r/seduction	19/12/21 08:42 AM
12	How do you feel about all these women on social media saying "don't approach us, it's creepy" So, fun facts, there's actual academic research about what makes someone or something creepy (citation and link to the article at the end for my fellow nerds). In short, creepiness is make up of 3 things: Out of Context Behavior: creepiness is connected to unpredictability. That can look like behaving in weird or unusual ways, especially when you lack situational awareness or knowledge of social norms. Hidden Intent: creepiness is connected to having ulterior motives. This can look like becoming…	/r/seduction	18/12/21 08:33 AM
18	How do you feel about all these women on social media saying "don't approach us, it's creepy" I usually can read the room well enough to realize a girl isn't interested. That's going to be the main difference, tbh. Some people do not know how to read the room and that is their main issue. Papering over a total lack of social skills trying out game tactics like a robot leads to creep factor, especially dudes who try and run kino without being able to identify non-verbal signals for stop.	/r/seduction	18/12/21 08:10 AM
3	My girlfriend sent me a booty pic and idk what to do Did you want to receive a picture like this from your girlfriend? If no, that would be something to talk about - plenty of people are uncomfortable with being sent explicit images and it's okay if you prefer not to receive them. If you enjoyed and wanted to receive a picture like this, do you like it when your girlfriend gives you compliments, or would you like it if she did so? If your answer is yes, it's pretty highly likely that she would similarly enjoy feeling desired by you. Think about it…	/r/seduction	03/12/20 08:28 AM
1	BRUTAL! My red pilled normie friend was bragging about his Tinder game then this happened! This woman was not turned on, she was actually disgusted and played along to bait him lol. As far as the research we have on human cognition and behavior, this is how it works: thoughts create feelings, feelings create action, actions create results. All humans act on emotion (which makes perfect sense - the amygdala and hypothalamus are the older, more ancient structures in the brain). Gender layers on top of the same basic hardware and software, so you see differences in what people are encouraged to express and encouraged to suppress (through carrot-sticking and resultant dopamine …	/r/ExRedPill	22/11/20 01:20 PM
3	Do you believe hypergamy to be natural or up to the individual? One common line of thought about this, apart from what u/Inareskai already said, is that part of where this stems from is the transition in human history from nomadic life to settled life. If I'm remembering the same society you are referencing, they are nomadic and don't herd animals. Part of this being that a settled life generated the idea of ownership - owners of lands, livestock, sometimes other people - and that concept of owning rather than sharing is the long story to now, where there ar…	/r/ExRedPill	13/11/20 11:24 AM
2	Do you believe hypergamy to be natural or up to the individual? ^^ This	/r/ExRedPill	13/11/20 11:21 AM
1	BRUTAL! My red pilled normie friend was bragging about his Tinder game then this happened! This woman was not turned on, she was actually disgusted and played along to bait him lol. So, in my working life, I'm a Certified Sex Coach. My master's degree was in sociology (specifically, economic sociology). I chose to do my research about pickup artists because pretty much all of my clients have been influenced by PUAs in one way or another (I work exclusively with nerds, geeks, and introverts). I knew I needed to know more about this and, being a mega nerd myself, I decided that the best way to do so was to make a master's degree out of it (rather than, IDK, read a couple of b…	/r/ExRedPill	08/11/20 06:06 PM
2	BRUTAL! My red pilled normie friend was bragging about his Tinder game then this happened! This woman was not turned on, she was actually disgusted and played along to bait him lol. So, fun fact - my master's thesis was all about metaphors used in pickup artist handbooks (I included Rollo Tomassi's book in my study, as his work sits on the border between PUA and TRP), specifically economic metaphors, though I tracked other instances of metaphors in the books I looked at. Plate is just one of many examples of metaphors that are dehumanizing of women (see also women as targets, dogs, cows, farmland, corporations, among many others)... and also men! These books are rotten for …	/r/ExRedPill	04/11/20 07:36 AM
2	BRUTAL! My red pilled normie friend was bragging about his Tinder game then this happened! This woman was not turned on, she was actually disgusted and played along to bait him lol. Precisely - Rollo Tomassi has a whole chapter on Plate Theory in The Rational Male. The thing that really ground my gears, so to speak, is that the things written about 'plate theory' sound like a dark and distorted version of ethical non-monogamy. If what you really want is to be able to explore multiple relationships at the same time, you have the option to, IDK, see yourself and others as people, be honest about your desires, and engage in a way that feels good to everyone involved. But it's …	/r/ExRedPill	04/11/20 07:32 AM
1	What has everyone been doing in COVID times? In general, in some regions there's a lot more people using online dating than what had done previously, as a way to take some of the first steps in a socially distanced way. The approach I've suggested, which isn't for everyone, is making a direct ask, something like: Hey - I've got a controversial idea, can I share it? [IF YES] Would you be interested in being pandemic sex buddies / cuddle buddies? That could look like first discussing our needs and risk profiles and, if they’re compatible, ha…	/r/seduction	12/10/20 07:03 AM
5	What has everyone been doing in COVID times? So, what I've noticed is that most people who wanted to date and hookup before the pandemic still want to do so. And most people are asking themselves the same question. In general, what it has meant is a whole lot of people getting much better at discussing risk than they were before. Because assessing your COVID related risks is a lot more pressing for some folks than even talking about sexual health. First thing to do is to think about your level of risk tolerance. Who is in your network? Are…	/r/seduction	11/10/20 06:50 PM
1	I don't know how to replicate what I did months ago Thanks for the tag - I love this story, part of me wonders if you learned to make paper cranes in school, I got obsessed with them when we had some class on origami when learning about the 1000 paper cranes thing. You've received great advice from others here about not obsessing over replicating the past or expecting the same inputs to generate the same outputs. I think what you stumbled onto isn't so much a set formula that guarantees anything, but more you approached someone in a way that's un…	/r/seduction	09/10/20 07:26 AM
1	She got away but is still interested. Need advice with not being in your head. Hello, friend! Delayed ejaculation and the kind of erectile difficulties you write about definitely can be affected by drugs and alcohol, so see if you can be sober the next time you meet up to hookup with her. Beyond that, normally delayed ejaculation is down to 3 things - stress, performance anxiety, and lack of trust. I wrote about this at length, the general gist is to take some of the pressure off that you've been putting on yourself and instead start to focus on pleasure - what feels good …	/r/seduction	06/10/20 02:16 PM
2	Date goes well 95% of it...then the pull goes terribly. How to salvage it? (emotional over logical persuasion) Eh - I mean, why? If she comes back to you and wants to see you again, then if you want to, go and meet up with her. Actions speak a lot louder than words, so there's not really anything magical to say to erase them, and gaslighting (telling her she was enjoying it, smiling, you must not remember because you're drunk) isn't good form, either. Take the lesson and reign yourself in. A lot of people go the route of over compensating, now you got to find your way to your true middle.	/r/seduction	29/09/20 11:42 AM
10	Date goes well 95% of it...then the pull goes terribly. How to salvage it? (emotional over logical persuasion) Your empathy game sucks. Fun party girls are human, too, and it looks like when you met resistance, you dropped the facade and showed you didn't really care about her all that much. A lot of people dig hookups. What's less fun is hooking up with someone who is only thinking about themselves. Not sure if you've read it, but you may benefit from what Richard la Ruina teaches in The Natural. Basically everything he talks about is what you lacked in this interaction.	/r/seduction	29/09/20 09:03 AM
1	What's the theme of this year's International Men's Day? I really like this idea - it's a great way to invite a lot of people to participate	/r/MensRights	28/09/20 11:21 AM
3	What's the theme of this year's International Men's Day? I plan to - when there is a theme, it's nice to coordinate and show the connection to the other events taking place.	/r/MensRights	28/09/20 06:20 AM
5	What's the theme of this year's International Men's Day? It's a good question - I don't actually know!	/r/MensRights	28/09/20 06:18 AM
2	How do you know if she's shit testing or simply doesn't like you? I mean, why bother? If she doesn't like you, it's not a fit, and if she's shit testing you, who has time for that. Boring. Means you'll be putting up with that shit throughout your relationship if one starts. I say NEXT - there are plenty of other folks out there.	/r/seduction	24/09/20 09:13 AM
5	I have a vague idea for a meme about the conflict between two expectations boys face. But it needs developing and I have no time to do anything about it. But if somebody else thinks it has potential, go ahead! Who is your audience for this meme? If you're wanting to share your observation with women in a way they might understand, you could juxtapose the scenarios you mention (be brave vs go easy, be independent vs work together) with the confusing and contradictory messages women receive about sexuality. Don't be a prude, but also don't have sex until marriage. Girls who have sex are cool, but also girls who have sex are sluts. What I saw in my minds eye when I read your post were two people looking …	/r/MensRights	22/09/20 12:40 PM
1	How do you deal with losing hope? The first thing to do is to get in touch with your desire. What do you want? It's not enough to know what you don't want - like "I don't want to be alone" - you need to know what you do want when it comes to sex and relationships. Say you say "I want a girlfriend" or "I want a friend with benefits" - why? What do you look forward to experiencing with someone? What would you want to share with them? Worrying about your looks, to an extent, is kind of like an excuse, though I entirely understand t…	/r/seduction	22/09/20 12:18 PM
1	What can we do about the double standards? I mean - there are a lot of people working on exactly those issues you mentioned, many of them women. What I most often see, with a few exceptions noticeably around suicide, is that these initiatives often speak to helping "people" rather than helping "men" - thinking in particular about organizations like Thames Reach in London who help homeless people, with the specific mission to combat entrenched street homelessness - the most difficult cases. I was involved with them for as long as I lived …	/r/MensRights	19/09/20 11:47 AM
-2	What can we do about the double standards? That's a beautiful and worthy vision for the world. I'd argue that's what most people over at TwoX want, too. It sucks when we are prejudged based on social constructs - when folks make assumptions about us based on things like gender, race, age, sexual orientation. If you're following the news at TwoX, there is a lot of venting, and the frustration being vented is basically your same frustration. Often, people are writing about their interactions with men, and they often write about bullshit fr…	/r/MensRights	18/09/20 09:48 AM
1	What can we do about the double standards? What is it you would like to achieve? What would you like to be different in the world?	/r/MensRights	18/09/20 08:51 AM
2	Any books about seduction? You won't go wrong reading basically everything Mark Manson writes. I love Subtle Art, and his newest one, "Everything is Fucked" is also pretty great.	/r/seduction	11/09/20 02:37 PM
2	Any books about seduction? The one book you need is Models by Mark Manson. I recommend this book without reservation.	/r/seduction	11/09/20 02:23 PM
4	How to stop pedestalizing females Hi again! So I'm not entirely sure if you are trolling, or if you are genuinely worried in the way you've written me here. The picture you have sent me is of a man who looks perfectly normal enough. I would suggest shaving your facial hair, as that will help your face to be more clearly visible and look more put together (though, if you've been quarantining, it does get harder to make the effort. It's ok to give yourself some grace). Have you checked out the book Models by Mark Manson? It's got …	/r/seduction	03/09/20 02:54 PM
3	How to stop pedestalizing females Hi There! Oh, my dude, that's a tough spot to be in. Seems to me you're someone who wants sex to be a priority in your life, and figuring out how to go about that can be challenging. Way I see it, and you'll get a variety of advice in this sub (some of it clap trap and some of it decent), is you're caught right in the middle of the self-sacrifice / dominance dichotomy. It's a false dichotomy because neither of these approaches are particularly effective, if what you want deep down is a life with…	/r/seduction	03/09/20 01:27 PM
3	Question removed by r/AskWomen - I guess they cannot take being asked about their own privilege As an update, my post was disallowed, too, and from what I can tell, they have a fairly powerful bot that looks for a number of different things. This thread is going on over at r/datingoverthirty which may be of interest to you, as it contains many people explaining their behaviour on dating websites (for example, OP shares that she swipes left on everyone without a completed bio or who doesn't have pictures). It's interesting because, at least what we see in the data, she initiates a lot of co…	/r/MensRights	06/07/19 12:47 PM
5	Question removed by r/AskWomen - I guess they cannot take being asked about their own privilege Thank you for the welcome. I can (and do) write about my thoughts on this at length, but to keep it brief here: Yes - I think sex coaching can help allieviate the incel crisis. I think it is important to have more professionals specializing in working with men as men. The key as I have seen it in my work is to present alternatives to mainstream dating and sex advice (I include PUA / seddit in the definition of mainstream) that work. This is what I do and is the work that matters the most to me.	/r/MensRights	06/07/19 12:01 PM
6	Question removed by r/AskWomen - I guess they cannot take being asked about their own privilege Went to check out your thread and can see that it was blocked again. Not sure what you're posting as the body text of your question, though if it's crossover copy from MRA, it'll likely continue to be read as an 'agenda post', whatever that means. FWIW, I regularly get banned in different ways from different subreddits. If it's one where participation is important to me for genuine reasons, I normally message the mods to ask questions about how they expect content to go up, and if there's a way …	/r/MensRights	06/07/19 11:29 AM
5	Question removed by r/AskWomen - I guess they cannot take being asked about their own privilege Eh - it's not so much a women thing as a reddit thing. I got banned from participating in MGTOW (principally I would comment there to ask questions and got a bit too impassioned on a thread about services for men and - yeah, banned). It's kind of tricky - I can see it from both angels, both in your example and in my experience. Each subreddit has their own rules about content - each one is kind of it's own little culture. And, I mean, surely you knew that the question you were posting was likely…	/r/MensRights	06/07/19 11:05 AM
1	Society is not gynocentric. Women are oppressed by the patriarchy. Patriarchy is for men to oppress women. I understand that I'm not liked here, and that's ok. I wanted to reply to you now not to be glib but actually to say thank you. While we've got different views, you have said something that hit home - about not giving enough to organizations focused on men's issues. You are right - I generally make one off donations to CALM, but I can do more than that. So, I have done. Their service focuses exclusively on Men in the UK. CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably. I signed up as a monthly don…	/r/MGTOW	02/07/19 04:49 PM
1	The logic of young sheltered Women at my Church Thank you for this answer to my question.	/r/MGTOW	02/07/19 04:02 PM
2	when you hesitate long Checkmate, redditor - I was a fat woman, and I mean a faaaaaaat woman, for 80% of my adult life. There's more similar than different, I find, in the experience of nerdy guys and fat girls when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships. I mean, I was also nerdy and introverted. It's harder than you think.	/r/seduction	02/07/19 03:56 PM
0	The logic of young sheltered Women at my Church LOL - kegels can be pretty great regardless of gender in terms of boosting the intensity of orgasmic response. See that's why I asked, because I assumed that a key part of MGTOW is that you don't have relationships with women, so that's why I was confused about this post. Another person responded and explained that you might GYOW later, after already getting into a relationship, so that makes sense.	/r/MGTOW	02/07/19 03:47 PM
9	The Alpha-Beta cuck friend. You can clearly state your boundaries to this new coworker. Advise him that you would like to keep your working relationship to professional matters only, and that it doesn't work for you to discuss your private lives. You can then ask him directly if that works for him. If he pushes your boundary, you can cut conversations short with something like "I'm not willing to discuss private matter. Is there anything I can help you with/Do you need help with QA/Do you need help pushing to production et…	/r/MGTOW	02/07/19 11:28 AM
2	when you hesitate long Hi There! First - congrats for walking up to her. It takes courage and I know how hard it can be when you feel like an anxious, overthinking mess on the inside. Now, for the feedback - your approach was creepy. It's highly likely that, if you were stalking her in the way you described, at the very least she may have had a sensation that something was wrong. If she consciously clocked what you were doing, then she likely was wary of you. Taking all the gender stuff out of it, that kind of stalkin…	/r/seduction	02/07/19 11:22 AM
-10	The logic of young sheltered Women at my Church So, genuine question - What would partnership look like in an idea world for MGTOW men? I appreciate that if you choose to go your own way, that's making a choice that you prefer not to interact with women at all. From what I see posted here, it seems like the community is a bit more of a spectrum - some folks totally gone their own way and focused on their own thing, some folks a bit more Red Pill but not quite when it comes to views on relationships / partnerships. I ask because the format you…	/r/MGTOW	02/07/19 10:46 AM
2	My go-to video for people who aren't MGTOW yet I mean - I'm not sure this is a great justification for GYOW - what you see here is a person who has a fully commodified idea of what a partnership is (her whole approach seems to be about "what's in it for me" rather than a genuine interest in other people) and so has basically doomed herself to perpetual disappointment. Part of the problem here is that there's a huge mass of men and women that approach relationships this way, and they're downright miserable people to be around. I read the comm…	/r/MGTOW	30/05/19 01:56 PM
0	Fuck women and fuck feminism This one is a bit of a false equivalency, no? Because on the basis of the argument in this tweet (i.e. a fetus is already a person and therefore abortion is murder), wouldn't the logical deduction be that, actually, child support payments therefore must begin from the moment of conception? Feels to me really that there's several separate things going on, and there'd be a great benefit to separating them out. One the one hand, there is abortion. That's a medical procedure that most people misunde…	/r/MGTOW	30/05/19 09:43 AM