~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 321 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become. | CMV | Shadow_of_Caravaggio | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 10:27 PM |
| 99 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status) | CMV | Shadow_of_Caravaggio | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 10:58 PM |
| 90 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy. | CMV | Shadow_of_Caravaggio | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 09:42 AM |
| 38 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense... | CMV | Shadow_of_Caravaggio | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 07:42 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | How Much Do Most Men Today Really Care About Traditional "Feminine Virtues"?I think many people would, which was part of your argument. Are you really denying that the point of your post was to setup a "boring virgin, exciting promiscuous, therefore virginity isn't as important as some men say it is" kind of argument? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 12:02 PM |
| 1 | How Much Do Most Men Today Really Care About Traditional "Feminine Virtues"?sewing/knitting quiet un-stylish Being as little into partying, or in some cases any kind of socialising with friends as possible, basically a big homebody. You're painting a picture of someone that many people wouldn't find exciting to be with, were you not? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/21 11:46 AM |
| 0 | If feminism is outdated and not needed in the USA, why don't women have control over their own bodies?You cannot biologically compare a baby and a fetus of under 13 weeks and say they are the same. A 13 year old girl and a 43 year old woman are not biologically the same. But they are both human, and you don't get to kill either of them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 09:22 PM |
| -1 | If feminism is outdated and not needed in the USA, why don't women have control over their own bodies?Of course they are. Human life begins at conception, to suggest otherwise is unscientific. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 09:19 PM |
| 2 | If feminism is outdated and not needed in the USA, why don't women have control over their own bodies?Abortion is not constitutional. It's only held to be so because of stare decisis, and the problem with stare decisis (though in this case I should say the benefit, not the problem) is that it can easily be overturned by another court. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 09:07 PM |
| 0 | If feminism is outdated and not needed in the USA, why don't women have control over their own bodies?"Why don't women have control over their own bodies?" When we bring up abortion, we're not just talking about the bodies of women. We're now talking about the bodies of babies, which women have no right to hurt/kill. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 09:04 PM |
| 1 | Women shouldn't expect to be paid for on the first few datesAs a man, I would insist on paying. Any women who would have trouble with this (i.e. women who insist on going Dutch), would likely--though not necessarily--have relationship views that are contrary to my own. I'm more traditional, and I think this decently weeds out non-traditional women. (Note: just because a woman lets you pay for the date does not make her traditionally-minded, rather it's that if she insists on Dutch, she's probably not traditionally-minded.) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 07:56 PM |
| 1 | How Much Do Most Men Today Really Care About Traditional "Feminine Virtues"?The problem with the thread is that the OP basically setup a false dichotomy: you're either a virgin or you're fun to be around, you're either traditional or you're extraverted, etc. You can be a fun-to-be-around, virginal, traditional extravert. So in that sense the whole thread falls apart. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/21 06:41 PM |
| 1 | To those of you who support traditional roles in a relationship, would you date a woman who makes it clear that she's looking for a man with a good income so she can stay home?"To those of you who support traditional roles in a relationship, would you date a woman who makes it clear that she's looking for a man with a good income so she can stay home?" That's the plan. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 05:01 PM |
| 2 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the normThat's not actually true (depending on the gap, but even then it's relative), as I was discussing earlier. The 39% more likely stat that gets tossed around means just that: more likely. If the statistics calculated for one's chances at civil divorce put them at 10%, being in an age gap would increase that 39%, meaning it would raise from 10% to 13.9%. Hardly something to base one's life around. Further, same study said having a child can decrease it 76%, and regular religious attendence would de… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 05:26 AM |
| 1 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the normWait a second. I looked closer at a review of the study referenced regarding the 39% number. If I am reading this correctly, it's not saying you have a 39% chance of civil divorce, it's saying the odds of civil divorce are 39% more likely than the reference point. That's a completely different game. So suppose, after you factored in everything except age, you figured that your marriage is statistically at 20% to end in a civil divorce. If you then factor in for the age gap, that would raise your… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 03:53 AM |
| 1 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the normI've thought of this, but there is a strong counterargument to this: - The older a woman is, the more likely she is to have more sexual partners - According to the NSFG, most recent data suggests a 33% civil divorce rate for having +10 partners Therefore, when faced with the choice of a 25-33% civil divorce rate with an older woman with likely a lot more sexual partners or a 39% divorce rate with a younger women with likely a lot fewer sexual partners, the latter seems much more palatable (at le… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 01:54 AM |
| 0 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the normIn the words of a close friend - “they’re babies and look like babies” This is a red flag to me. 22yo women do not look like "babies"; in fact most women around this age are usually around the peak of their physical attractiveness. It's highly possible your friend is telling the truth, and in good faith I would take him at his word, but it's still a red flag to me. I would ask you this: have you ever personally seen an attractive 22yo (or in that range) ask him out or express interest in him and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 01:14 AM |
| 2 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the normUnderstandable. It can often be seen as socially taboo in certain circles for a man to date a much younger woman, and a man could possibly take a hit to his status within those circles. Many guys fear the "creep" label, thus even if they were attracted, they might be dissuaded from ever admitting it publicly. I have no idea if that's what's going on with your male friends or if they genuinely dislike the idea of dating younger, which is also possible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 12:53 AM |
| 1 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the normIn addition, it’s not ideal to marry and older dude because it raises the chance for my child to be born with disorders like autism. Technically true, but... Even so, the absolute chance of having a child with autism is low even for the oldest parents. The researchers in the 2017 study calculated that about 1.5 percent of children born to parents in their 20s will have autism, compared with about 1.58 percent of children born to parents in their 40s. https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/link-pare… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/21 12:39 AM |
| – | Discussion: When women complain about low effort men around these parts, they're talking about ugly guys#1 rule of attraction: if a woman likes you, most of her personal rules will go out the window. Obviously men can abuse this fact and have the potential to greatly harm women with this (which is no bueno), but I remain convinced that it holds true. "I would never date a man without a degree." Three days later she's dating a man she finds extremely attractive who doesn't have a degree. "I would never date a jock." Three days later the attractive jock shows interest in her and now she's head over … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 11:48 PM |
| 4 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the norm#1 rule of attraction: if a woman likes you, most of her personal rules will go out the window. Obviously men can abuse this fact and have the potential to greatly harm women with this (which is no bueno), but I remain convinced that it holds true. "I would never date a man without a degree." Three days later she's dating a man she finds extremely attractive who doesn't have a degree. "I would never date a jock." Three days later the attractive jock shows interest in her and now she's head over … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 11:32 PM |
| 1 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the normFrom a male perspective: more true than ewww. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 11:20 PM |
| 3 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the normWell, as u/sdwdqw65 mentioned, that's nearly 1/5. Go to any store and every 5th marriage will be in a 6 year gap marriage. I say this is extremely substantial, because there are those on this forum--even younger women--who almost give the impression that these relationships are uncommon. 1 in 5 is common. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 10:27 PM |
| 2 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the normI think you have that mixed up. Since this works on "supply and demand," women are usually seen as the gatekeepers to sex, men are seen as the gatekeepers to commitment. Why? Because men tend to want sex more than women do, and women tend to want commitment more than men do. (Note: I do not support promiscuity, just pointing this out.) For instance, if you look at Pew Research: - 22% of men wanted a committed relationship only. - 36% of women wanted a committed relationship only. - 22% of men wa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 10:22 PM |
| 1 | 6-10 year age gaps really need to be the normIf you look at the marriage rates in the US, there are about 63 million married couples. According to the US Census Bureau, 7.6% of these couples are in marriages where the man is 10 years or older. This works out to over 4 million couples. If you move that to where the man is 6 years or older, it becomes 18.8%, equating to almost 12 million couples. So 18.8% is not the majority, but it is extremely substantial. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 10:04 PM |
| 3 | Women should plan for a future without a partner.Well, putting aside that I think sperm donation is highly immoral, there's also this aspect of it: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-47907847 https://www.bionews.org.uk/page\_152466 https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/21/health/sperm-donors-fraud-doctors.html https://www.vice.com/en/article/y3g5qy/fertility-doctors-used-their-sperm-to-get-patients-pregnant-the-children-want-justice https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9001517/Nevada-fertility-doctor-secretly-impregnated-countless-women-sperm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 09:57 PM |
| 12 | What will be the next major event to shift the dating market in America?I wrote this about a week ago regarding trends I see developing in the future: - Increased looksmaxxing. Both men and women will be drawn to this, but men more so because they have more room to gain since, as a group, we have probably neglected this area for so long. To stay competitive, men will have to start taking better care of their health/hygiene/fitness. I don't think this will be "optional," as it might have been seen in past eras. Cameras are getting better and better, and even if Insta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 08:28 PM |
| 5 | Study results suggest men and women predictably lie on self reported sex studies"Normal men don't care about women bench pressing." "In a study, women tell the truth about bench pressing." "Normal men don't care about a woman's n-count." "In a study, women lie about n-count." 🤔 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 07:14 PM |
| 4 | No hymen, no diamond: The sexual counterrevolution is comingI don't speak for all men, but I do speak for myself in that I would not want to marry a woman with a significant sexual history (I would prefer to marry a virgin). This will be something I vet for strongly when I put myself out there to start dating. I have no idea how prevalent this kind of mindset is among others. I think male disgust with what's going on right now is probably underreported, but then again, male thirst is often an endless source of surprise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 06:52 PM |
| 3 | Master key/ Bad Lock analogyI wrote this is in another thread someone created on why some men do not want promiscuous women, but that thread was removed by a mod, so I'll post it again here: - Part of it might be related to self-esteem. No guy wants to take his wife out and have a bunch of guys they meet snickering and joking about how one of them (or several of them) have had sex with her, especially in front of him or to his face. This can stir up deep feelings of disgust within a man. - Part of it might be related to fe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/21 06:26 PM |
| – | New Data from the Telegraph indicate that levels of sexlessness among young men are still steadily increasing, just 34% of male University students report being sexually active while studying at University and 43% report never having had sex.There's nothing saying that men and women have to remain unmarried until their late 20s/early 30s. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 09:49 PM |
| – | Why do guys think promiscuous women are bad?- Part of it might be related to pride. No guy wants to take his wife out and have a bunch of guys they meet snickering and joking about how one of them (or several of them) have had sex with her, especially in front of him or to his face. This can stir up deep feelings of disgust within a man. - Part of it might be related to feelings of inadequacy. Since men are often seen as more of the performers in the sexual act, a lot of men might wonder "Is my wife actually enjoying this? Is she enjoying… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 09:47 PM |
| – | New Data from the Telegraph indicate that levels of sexlessness among young men are still steadily increasing, just 34% of male University students report being sexually active while studying at University and 43% report never having had sex.It puts you into the top 14.5% of men regarding height, if that wasn't clear. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 08:50 PM |
| – | New Data from the Telegraph indicate that levels of sexlessness among young men are still steadily increasing, just 34% of male University students report being sexually active while studying at University and 43% report never having had sex.Actually, I am not sure what the stats are for NYC, but in the US in general, being at 6 ft. puts you in the top 14.5% of all men in the US. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 08:18 PM |
| – | New Data from the Telegraph indicate that levels of sexlessness among young men are still steadily increasing, just 34% of male University students report being sexually active while studying at University and 43% report never having had sex.I actually think the sexlessness is a good thing, considering I'm more trad in my views (i.e. no to premarital sex). But as for the data. From the Twitter feed: Male students are less sexually active than female counterparts: 34% of men 47% of women Interesting that there is a 13% difference between the sexes in terms of sexual activity. But here is where it gets really odd. (This is not a perfect analysis considering these sexual activity stats are recent and I am using 2018 college numbers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/21 07:28 PM |
| 1 | Dating social skills are rarely factored in when talking about the "average man", and that's a problemBased off of what most women say, insecurity is almost always a turnoff no matter the situation (you might be able to sneak some rare exceptions into this but I wouldn't count on it). I'm somewhat of the opinion that if a woman is attracted to you enough, she can write off almost any of your flaws in her head... for awhile. If you don't fix them, though, they might become huge problems later down the line when that initial high level of attraction might wane as you become more familiar with each… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 06:58 PM |
| 2 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...But if consent doesn't actually mean the textbook definition of consent, we're not talking about consent, we're talking about something else, whatever that something else is. If a 15 year old consents to something, she consents to that thing. If you're trying to argue that she cannot consent to that thing, you're no longer discussing consent qua consent, but something like emotional maturity (she can't consent because she is not emotionally mature, etc). The argument then becomes about if she ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 06:43 PM |
| 2 | Dating social skills are rarely factored in when talking about the "average man", and that's a problemWell what you originally described does sort of happen. The attractive person is often considered to have a better personality because they are attractive, and because they are attractive, this might further boost their confidence and attraction. I'm not really sure which I think is the stronger argument. I think perhaps a bit of both happens, but perhaps large amounts of time spent with someone can wipe away the veneer of early perceptions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 06:09 PM |
| 1 | Dating social skills are rarely factored in when talking about the "average man", and that's a problemThe counterargument to that is that Chad might not have a great personality as he never felt the need to build one because his goal was to sleep with women and that always came easy to him. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 05:49 PM |
| 1 | Dating social skills are rarely factored in when talking about the "average man", and that's a problemI typically list physique, money, status, and power as the main four attractors of women. I rarely list personality, because I think personality is a given and a non-negotiable. For me, it would almost be like listing "breathing" as an attractor of women because it is (at least for me) so obvious. You have to have a good personality as a baseline for dating. I'm not really interested in the anecdotes regarding the Chad who has no personality but sleeps with a lot of women, as I do not support th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 05:33 PM |
| 1 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...I was thinking about this more, in some ways I actually think the strongest argument for 18 as a secular age of consent is the following: biologically speaking, there are only two really significant ages in this discussion: 11 and 24. (Though the 24 bit is a lot more nuanced as my original post mentioned.) If you tried to determine this from a purely scientific point of view, only one those two numbers would make sense. The problem is that most rational people see 11 as way too young, and most r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 05:14 PM |
| 1 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...Well, it's not OK to manipulate anyone for sex (as for the why, I'm Catholic so I don't even think premarital sex is OK). As for the question, it's really difficult to answer from a secular setting. Again, as a Catholic, I would say the point of dating to discern marriage with a person, and the Church has a minimum age for marriage, but for non-Catholics I'm curious how the argument for a specific age would be made outside of "I personally think __ age is really creepy." I think pretty much ever… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 03:37 PM |
| 9 | Men, do you value women based on their popularity?I think the instincts will be for many men that the more popular she is, the more men he will have to compete with. Some may embrace this as a sort of "chase," others may figure it's not worth the hassle. Since I'm a man, I cannot verify this, but every now and then you'll see some girls say that, as attractive girls, they struggle to get male interest because so many men assume they are already taken given how attractive they are. It sounds plausible, but then again you'll also hear about how a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 02:54 PM |
| 4 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...As I wrote elsewhere in this thread: I debated waiting to post on this topic, but since it is still fresh in people's minds given the other two threads, I decided to post this. This is a very specific argument/counterargument, and if I posted this in one of the other threads, it would get very messy and probably overlooked as a footnote in a thread with 400 posts. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 02:22 PM |
| 3 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...A significant exception, though. For instance, the Asian American population is around 7%. That's the same percentage as marriages where the man is 10 years or older. It's also very easy to make positive inferences from these stats, but it's quite difficult to make negative inferences from these stats. For instance, 7% of marriages involve gaps where the man is 10 years or older. So that's a positive inference that there are is a significant amount of women who like or prefer large age gaps. But… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 10:59 AM |
| 3 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...That's an interesting take, because (and I guess it would depend which conservatives you talk to), there are a lot of conservatives who are libertarians, or if they are social conservatives, their views might (perhaps ultimately) descend from a Thomistic view that not every vice should be proscribed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 10:49 AM |
| 2 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...same brain development as a 23 year old? Seriously? I think you mixed up arguments somewhere, because that's not what I was suggesting. But the rational decision making and emotional control of a 30 year old and a 40 year old is roughly the same. A 20 year old and a 30 year old? Probably not. So the question becomes, how much weight should we give "probably not"? Do we, as a society, allow 20 year-olds to vote because they might not have the same rational decision-making as a 30 year-old (thou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 10:42 AM |
| 4 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...I wrote this another thread, but it is applicable here: One argument you will hear is that all of this is a problem because younger women aren't interested in older men therefore older men should stop pursuing younger women. This argument defeats itself. If younger women aren't interested, there's almost no problem to speak of because very little would be happening outside of extreme cases of rape. But some younger women are interested in older men, thus we have age gap relationships. The stats … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 10:29 AM |
| 5 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...Hard to say one way or the other. I could see two scenarios happening: 1) A young woman is told that all older men are predatory and shouldn't be dated. Through happenstance, she meets an older man, decides he's not what she has been warned of, at least initially, and ignores the advice (maybe at her own risk). 2) A young woman is told that some older men are predatory, and that they should be seriously vetted before she decides to date them. Through happenstance, she meets an older man, and doe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 10:23 AM |
| 3 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...See i don't think it is always predatory because I think on average there isn't a big difference between say 23 and 26. They would, theoretically be on the same "developmental stage" But the maturity level of 23 and 33 is very different and odds are they are at a different developmental stage. Development in what sense though? Biologically or personally? The biological argument, imo, is much more tenuous given everything I wrote in my original post. I could more understand the personal (a 23 yea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 10:08 AM |
| 12 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...I think we have come full circle, because I said in my original post to this: And I'm not implying that there are people trying to get this into our legal code | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 09:54 AM |
| 6 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...There's not a switch in the brain. You don't magically wake up at age 25 with a fully formed brain. It's a gradual process that differs from person. On average it develops in your mid 20s. So people in their mid 20s are still on level with each other in general. I agree with this, and that was the point of my post and the point of linking all of the articles on the science saying the same thing. It is a very long process of brain development, which is why the idea that men cannot date women belo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 09:52 AM |
| 11 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...You can find many examples of this, but I will provide you with a few from the other thread... One by u/WrittenRoses: The advice “Beware relationships with age gaps and significant power imbalances” has been passed down by women for generations as well, for good reason. An eighteen year old on her birthday is technically an adult when the day before it she was as a teenager. She can’t be trusted to buy herself drink, but she’s an “adult” nonetheless. An adult with a brain not yet fully developed… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 09:38 AM |
| 6 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...18 year olds have soft boiled brains. To this specific point, this was more or less what my post was geared towards combatting. It's simply not true. "It’s not enough to compare people using simple categories, such as labeling people below age 18 as children and those older as adults. “Nothing magical occurs at that age,” Dr. Somerville said." https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/21/science/youre-an-adult-your-brain-not-so-much.html | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 09:28 AM |
| 11 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...Ignoring the first part of your post, as to the second: this post is not about judgements per se, it's about combating a commonly used argument that gets tossed around a lot because it sounds scientific. The point was to isolate that particular argument and see if it holds up to logical scrutiny. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 09:21 AM |
| 7 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...Hardly anyone actually thinks this. This would be hard to prove, but I hesitantly agree with this. Sorry, but it's not worth the effort of debating. As far as it not being worth the effort to debate, I strongly disagree. Bad arguments can go a long way in society, even if they start out in small pockets of the population. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 09:12 AM |
| 10 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...It's not that people think the age of consent should go to 25, it's that the age of consent for women dating older men should go to 25. And I'm not implying that there are people trying to get this into our legal code, rather they're trying to get this into our societal, moral code. IE, brand the guy as a quasi-pedophile, or at the very least some kind of sexual deviant, if he is an older man who dates a woman of legal age but who is below 25. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 09:03 AM |
| 4 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...I'm allowed to respond to them. This is a subreddit for debating ideas. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:59 AM |
| 5 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...I think I would almost entirely agree with this. Well that's on them. I don't know if I would go this far. I do think it is an extremely helpful role for older women to warn younger women of predatory men, but this can be overdone in the suggestion of avoiding all older men because they might be predators. I think nuance gets lost here, and because it has almost become so black-and-white, a lot of younger women might reject the patently bad advice of "avoid all older men," and because of that,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:54 AM |
| 6 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...no one is arguing that you shouldn’t date women under 25 because their Brains haven’t developed. Speaking of boxing phantoms. You can find many examples of this, but I will provide you with a few from the other thread, by u/WrittenRoses: The advice “Beware relationships with age gaps and significant power imbalances” has been passed down by women for generations as well, for good reason. An eighteen year old on her birthday is technically an adult when the day before it she was as a teenager. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:50 AM |
| 2 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...I think this is an interesting counterpoint to age-gap relationships (and one I have considered myself), but it doesn't really address any of the points I have made in this thread. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:43 AM |
| 8 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...I don't know if anyone made that specific argument (I certainly didn't here), so you may be boxing phantoms. There is nothing older women can do to stop legal relationships of those who have earned majority status, so that's not really a question. This thread is geared more towards men and women who think the initial argument I presented is a strong one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:39 AM |
| 12 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...I debated waiting to post on this topic, but since it is still fresh in people's minds given the other two threads, I decided to post this. This is a very specific argument/counterargument, and if I posted this in one of the other threads, it would get very messy and probably overlooked as a footnote in a thread with 400 posts. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:29 AM |
| 3 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...This subreddit is called "PurplePillDebate". Elaborate strategies are what we talk about here. Emphasis on the debate part. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:26 AM |
| 8 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...This is dumb. Change that to "men over 35" and it's not dumb. No, logically it doesn't work this way. If the reason one shouldn't date women under 25 is that their prefrontal cortex is still developing, then any male over 25 would have a developed prefrontal cortex and could thus "exploit" the woman, as the argument goes. There is nothing special about the age "35" that it should be a cutoff, and if that's what one would try to posit, then you'd start getting into arguments more about experience… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:23 AM |
| 10 | Why the "don't date her because the brain doesn't develop until 25" argument doesn't actually make sense...The name of this forum is PurplePillDebate. Emphasis on debate. I am debating a commonly used argument by many who oppose age gap relationships. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 08:19 AM |
| 2 | Older men using their experience as an unfair advantage over younger women is an extreme exaggerationAlso needs to be said: One argument you will hear is that all of this is a problem because younger women aren't interested in older men therefore older men should stop pursuing younger women. This argument defeats itself. If younger women aren't interested, there's almost no problem to speak of because very little would be happening outside of extreme cases of rape. But some younger women are interested in older men, thus we have age gap relationships. The stats bear this out in the United State… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 03:51 AM |
| -4 | Older men using their experience as an unfair advantage over younger women is an extreme exaggerationAs I said in the other thread: "It's gross and creepy that men are so fixated on virginity among women. No normal man cares." "It's gross and creepy that men pursue younger women. It reeks of manipulation." "It's gross and creepy that my boyfriend doesn't like me talking to my 7 exes that I still have on Facebook. It's so controlling. Ew." "It's gross and creepy when a guy politely approaches me while I'm doing things and asks me out. This level of sexual harassment is disgusting." If you're a m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/21 03:44 AM |
| 6 | Q4All: Explain to me how an older man manipulates a younger woman (18+)"It's gross and creepy that men are so fixated on virginity among women. No normal man cares." "It's gross and creepy that men pursue younger women. It reeks of manipulation." "It's gross and creepy that my boyfriend doesn't like me talking to my 7 exes that I still have on Facebook. It's so controlling. Ew." "It's gross and creepy when a guy politely approaches me while I'm doing things and asks me out. This level of sexual harassment is disgusting." If you're a man and you fall for these lines… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/21 08:05 PM |
| 2 | The people of r/PurplePillDebate are smart, but ignoring the simple obvious fact...The explanation of why this is going on is extremely obvious. The issue is not "why is this happening," the issue is the stat itself: 51% of young adult males are single. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/21 09:26 AM |
| 3 | The people of r/PurplePillDebate are smart, but ignoring the simple obvious fact......that most people are in relationships and the people... Technically speaking, this is true, but there's also this statistic regarding the US: - 18-29 Females, 32% single - 18-29 Males, 51% single (Source: Pew Research) 51% of the young adult male population is single in the US. That's quite significant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/21 08:00 AM |
| 1 | As genetic traits are taking are dominating over individual traits, (for both men and women) how will society respond?Well, the first thing to note is that I don't foresee this getting better any time soon. Cameras are getting better and better, and even if Instagram goes away, something most likely will replace it. So this seems the path we'll be on for awhile. What will be the results? - Increased looksmaxxing. Both men and women will be drawn to this, but men more so because they have more room to gain since, as a group, we have probably neglected this area for so long. To stay competitive, men will have to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 09:30 AM |
| 1 | Is Chad what is considered a High Value Male (HMV)? What qualities make someone a HMV?Here is how I would define the two: - Chad is the guy for whom many women will break their own rules. - HVM is a man who rates very highly on the physique/status/power/wealth matrix. A lot of times, people equate Chads with being men who are good looking and/or tall. Frankly, I think this definition is too exclusive and misses a large swath of men who do not meet that category yet are very successful in attracting women. My definition gets to the heart of the matter. So, Chad is the guy who gets… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/21 02:10 AM |
| 2 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)This is such a weird strategy, but from my own distant observations, this seems to be super effective. The American guy goes to Britain, does really well with British girls. The British guy goes to America, does really well with American girls. Obviously, this isn't automatic and there are a lot of qualifiers, but I do think there is something to this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 09:40 AM |
| 1 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Well, as I said in my original post, I define status as where a person is positioned on a hierarchy or where they are positioned on multiple hierarchies. I think lots of attributes go into status, some of which include looks, height, wealth, power, confidence, career, race, family name, education, etc. I see it as a conglomeration of all of those things. I also subscribe to the view that each person is usually working within numerous different hierarchies. So for instance, a man might be in the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 09:11 AM |
| 8 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Cowboys, country boys, good ole boys, cute boys... I guess we live in different circles. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 08:56 AM |
| 3 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)I am a man. The use of "girls" in this post is not intended as an insult, rather just a usage of common vernacular in the same way that "guys, bros, boys, or lads" might be used ("I'm going out with the boys.") I don't think it is appropriate to censor myself and give in to the heightened oversensitivity that I think is threatening our culture, so I will respectfully pass on your request. As for the point about musicians, this goes to my later point about different hierarchies (Brad the bar-tend… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 08:52 AM |
| 1 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)"He has a degree in like, ancient theology and he is really passionate about it" That's not status, though. That's more personality. I did give a very biased conversation, but I had to to isolate status from everything else. Status isn't the only attractor of women. A woman might like a guy's personality, his looks, his height, his wealth, etc. But since this post is about one main, specific vector of attractiveness, status, I needed to differentiate between what qualifies as status and what doe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 08:17 AM |
| 2 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Lol the ability to make people laugh is POWER. Power is the ability to influence others, ergo making them laugh is power. Well, the next time you are at a comedy club and someone is bothering you, I suppose you could try telling the guy a few jokes to prove yourself on the dominance hierarchy... I'm betting it's not going to work out, though. Dominance hierarchies are composed of ranks. The ranks themselves are STATUS. The ranks are obtained via DISPLAYS OF POWER. I guess it depends on how you… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 07:46 AM |
| 2 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Having a prestigious career and being tall are not status. I didn't say they were status, I said they conferred status. If a university confers you a degree, it does not mean the university is the degree. You have the relationship BACKWARDS power gives you status... THE ABILITY TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH gives you the status of comedian. No, that's just a talent. A talent can (emphasis on can) get you status, but status gets you power. If a comedian is at a comedy club with his friends, and a person… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 07:32 AM |
| 3 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)I don't know, I think if a woman was the de facto nerd of the group and everyone accepted her as the de facto nerd, she could get away with being attracted to a nerd-status guy that might not otherwise play well in certain groups (the niche attraction guy, in other words). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 07:26 AM |
| 2 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)You're partially right in that I am describing some of the effects of status, because this post is mainly dealing with attraction, but the actual attributes I listed confer status themselves (being tall, leadership in a social hierarchy, prestigious career). The real deal of status is how the man handles himself IN A GIVEN SOCIAL SITUATION. The things you're talking about are EFFECTS not causes or the thing in itself. What you're describing is power. What I am describing is status. Certain lev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 07:22 AM |
| 4 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)You: Social status is who you are within a group and whether you're giving orders and setting the tone or taking orders and following along. My post: Status is a measurement of where he is on one particular hierarchy or where he is across multiple hierarchies. You: All of OP's imagined convos are far off the mark. A woman in this thread: I mean you can argue all you want and you have the right to dump women if you’re uncomfortable with it. But as a woman myself, it’s 100% true. I will never dump… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 06:56 AM |
| 0 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)I like you. Your status is high with me on Reddit. You present everything clearly. Thank you very much for that compliment. It's especially nice to hear the last part. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 06:03 AM |
| 6 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)I don't really understand how it's not implied/common knowledge that men and women both want to be with someone they find attractive that has their life together It's not very useful to say "men and women are attracted to attractive women and men." Everyone understands that. I think the problem is a lot of men say "I've heard x, y, and z are what women want, but I am x, y, and z, and I get no interest. What gives?" Many of my posts are aimed at getting to the heart of this question. What is attr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 05:04 AM |
| 4 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)This isn't really a status thing so much as it is women wanting men who are dominant/superior to themselves. Status is a measure of dominance/superiority. That's why the researchers used the term "status". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 04:20 AM |
| 5 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)As long as she's happy and not being abused, why do her friend's opinions matter? Women who think validation from other women through their partners is important need to grow up and get a life of their own. Because women are very social-status oriented. The methodology of the study was focused on interviews with 209 women in high status positions. "What we found was women whose husbands did not have the same status levels as theirs … were embarrassed and resentful for it. They were also less h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 03:38 AM |
| 1 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)No hard feelings in any of this. I wish you well, brother. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 03:29 AM |
| 1 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Vain to labor over something that could affect a man's (and woman's) entire life? I strongly disagree. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 03:24 AM |
| 13 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)It's a purposefully, over-the-top, controversial take that I think has a lot more influence than we really think about, and that is: no girl wants to feel embarrassed by the guy she is dating because then that reflects poorly on herself and her own attractiveness. And this embarrassment easily could be enough to torpedo the relationship for any guy if he cannot overcome it. In jest, you easily could say also that taking a daily shower is one of the most important moments in your dating life beca… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 03:23 AM |
| 1 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Well, (also, I don't want to criticize others), if you look on the other thread I made, you have some people severely criticizing my post, but then you had another who said "This is easily one of best post on PPD in my opinion." So clearly it provides value to some people. Also, iron sharpens iron. If my ideas are bad or are poorly constructed, that will likely come out and I will have to either sharpen my argument or consider the alternative, which gets me closer to the truth. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 03:05 AM |
| 1 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)This is sort of a chicken and the egg thing. There are plenty of cases where status was the draw, but then an organic relationship developed. And there are plenty of cases where the organic relationship developed, and a rationalization of status followed. The question for me is, where is the dividing line between that? Extremes are helpful here, imo, because it's really hard to argue against them. In this case, celebrities would be the extreme. A girl out in the middle of Nebraska has no reason … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 03:00 AM |
| 3 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)I'd agree that my presentation is extremely reductive. If you start getting too high-resolution, I think it's very easy to miss the point. I think numerous, numerous factors go into status: looks, height, physique, career, wealth, confidence, race, family name, education... the list is very long. All of that combines to make up some conglomeration of "status". I'd say it's more that lack of status or inability to build a socially acceptable amount of status (this varies) is a bigger issue than… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 02:27 AM |
| 12 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)and your take hardly stands up under reality I'm fine if that's your opinion, but you would have to explain why it doesn't stand up to reality before I could engage with you further. Normal people do not think nor do they operate like this. People fascinate me. Theories fascinate me. I probably would agree that most people don't really think like this. In a way, that's sort of the point. When the civil divorce rate is what it is, when infidelity is as high as it is, when depression is as high … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 02:20 AM |
| 19 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)It's part of being a lad. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 02:04 AM |
| 1 | is it me or are people these days more afraid of aging than before?it's so weird for me cause i think a few decades ago 30 yo was considered young, and the only age people were a little be scared of was 40-45 A few decades ago, 4k and social media weren't a thing. I honestly think it's that simple. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 01:36 AM |
| 18 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)OLD is another animal entirely, because you're not competing within a small group, you're effectively competing against the world, as I've written about here. As the hierarchies increase in scope, the higher your status has to be. The bar example was an example of a very localized hierarchy. In OLD, you're competing against doctors from Maryland, hot-shot lawyers from NY, venture capitalists from LA, and generally attractive men from all over the country, etc. As the hierarchy increases, the mor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 01:25 AM |
| 3 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Yes, I mentioned that he was tall because according to your parable, it is like the first thing that a woman would tell her friends about a guy she was seeing, but my friends didn't know this fact about him until they met him months later. I think you're taking this way too literally... Further, if a woman was seeing a man she was embarrassed about, she wouldn't tell her friends about him at all. I agree with this, but this isn't sustainable over the long-haul, which is why I say it's one of t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 01:11 AM |
| 2 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)But I believe it does take a back seat to looks which can have a status of its own. I was actually going to include another example of a conversation in which a girl said her guy was attractive and that would have been a status indicator as well, so I absolutely agree. I just didn't do that because I didn't want the post to be gargantuanly long. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 12:55 AM |
| 7 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)I am a woman and at no point in my life have I ever described any man I have ever dated to any of my friends as "tall," not even the 6'2" man to whom I have now been married for twenty years. Kinda funny tbh that within two posts you told us your husband was tall. But if your friends have seen your husband then you wouldn't have to tell them because they could have seen for themselves. Again, this was more or less a satirical take on actual conversations to demonstrate status. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 12:53 AM |
| 6 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Obviously a bit satirical of actual conversations (if you couldn't get that from my use of Chad, Brad, and Rad), but in my experience that's effectively the experience it amounts to when women discuss the men they are interested in. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 12:49 AM |
| 12 | As a man, one of the most important moments in your dating life doesn't even involve you (a reflection on status)Men can get a pass (in terms of status) when they're still in college because it's not expected at that stage that they have built themselves up and made a name for themselves (though college guys are still at risk of getting beat by the older, more successful guy [1]). Try not to be super literal about this and see the principle behind what is said. There are over 7 billion people on planet earth. Everyone's got some example of an aberration against mainline trends in human attraction and datin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/21 12:34 AM |
| 1 | Women don't care about fame and status. It's money and talent.I messaged this to another person yesterday, but I think it's fitting here: Talent is basically a low-level predictor of future potential success. The problem with predictors of success is that they're not actually the same thing as success. And success is what attracts women. Or to put it another way, talent is a bonus if she already likes you, but I think you need to be working towards tangible success before it has any benefit for you in the dating realm. Success gives status. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 09:05 PM |
| 1 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.I think you're under estimating the just be category of men. It's possible I'm underestimating them, but if you grant that there are about 100 million adult males in the United States, and if you say 5% of them are in the "just be" category, that's 5,000,000 of these males. In a certain respect, 5 million males is a lot which gives way for plenty of anecdotes about people knowing these kinds of guys. But comparatively speaking, that would still leave 95 million adult males who don't fit into thi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 08:43 PM |
| 1 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.The problem is it is difficult to isolate some of these attractors. So women might not be purely attracted to a guy with wealth, but his wealth might increase his status which increases their attraction to him (and not just his money). I personally think status is one of the most important attractors but also hard to specifically pin down because so much goes into it. All of these attractors (physique, status, wealth, and power) also all work together. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 03:52 AM |
| 1 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.many of the things that make them attractive I didn't say all. If you read my original post, I specifically state that: For the latter (men who just can "be"), this group is usually those men who excel in physical attributes (height/facial attractiveness). A lot of these men probably could skate through most of life and still be able to attract women. These men are rare (for instance, only 3.9% of men are 6'2" or taller in the U.S.). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 03:20 AM |
| 1 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.Women have to be attractive or become attractive. Same as men who aren't attractive. The point is that for men, many of the things that make them attractive involve substantial and time-intensive actions they must undertake to better themselves. For women, the things that make them attractive require no where near the investment (think of running a successful company vs. applying makeup/staying thin). It's also much more difficult for women to "become attractive" if they aren't already. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 03:03 AM |
| 5 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.I've always been interested in the truth, however controversial or unpopular. I wouldn't say I'm red pill because I'm very conservative/trad in a lot of my beliefs and those beliefs are often butting heads with red pill praxis. But if something is true, it's true, so the truths I do find in various, scattered movements across the divide I hold onto. I've gone through many ideological transformations so I usually have a good sense of what the other side is thinking. I realize that's super vague, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 02:11 AM |
| 2 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.That's why I prefaced this with "in the dating realm." What I am talking about here is in terms of attraction, not that women should refrain from aspirations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 01:32 AM |
| 3 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.I'm Catholic, and in Catholicism, celibacy actually is considered a higher calling in life than marriage (though married life is still considered great, too). But since this is not a forum for religion, and since most people here (I would imagine) are seeking information with regards to dating, I focus my posts more on what seems to be better strategies for dating. But I do agree that finding a relationship isn't everything. My comments on the blackpill stuff stand. Too many think the genetic is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 12:51 AM |
| 2 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.I discuss this phenomenon in one of my other posts on this site. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 12:18 AM |
| 2 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.I don't think buying/applying makeup is at the same level of action as running your own company (unless buying/applying makeup is your company, as some girls do). In that sense, women can "be," but men have to "become." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 12:11 AM |
| -1 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.I have no idea what their preferences are. My first true love is with a guy on the shorter end of height (at least I think she still is, haven't talked to her in a couple of years). She picked him on a dating site, IIRC. But generally, if a man wants to attract women with more options, he has to make himself a better catch. The point is it can and does happen. (But it most likely won't happen if men blackpill themselves into thinking it's too out of reach.) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/05/21 12:04 AM |
| 6 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.Reading through some of your other comments, I think you sound way too black-pilled for any response to be good enough for you for where you are at, mentally, right now. But I personally do know of shorter men in relationships. It happens at all the time. Also, there's no value whatsoever in calling women (or men) degrading names. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 11:50 PM |
| 3 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.Well, it establishes that height is not the terminus some men equate it as being. Those guys are extreme examples, to be sure, I even mentioned as such. But there are lots of average short guys walking around with girlfriends and wives. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 11:25 PM |
| 10 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.Well, the first thing I would say is you shouldn't consider yourself a "depreciating asset". You are a person with dignity no matter your relationship status. I'm not trying to turn this into a cheesy, after school special, but I think we can discuss and analyze topics like attraction without turning ourselves into objects. But I do think of men as more blessed, because much more is in our control. But then again, male desire is so strong that women (no matter where they are in terms of attracti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 11:21 PM |
| 2 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become."There are no truths." If that statement is true, then that means there are truths. If it is false, we should ignore it. I'm going with the latter, no disrespect to you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 11:12 PM |
| 5 | The uncomfortable truth in the dating realm: women have to be, men have to become.I'm not saying you have to be a singer, but if you pair this with my other post you probably will see more of where I'm coming from. In a certain sense, women have it easier, and in a certain sense, they have it more difficult. It's very, very difficult for women to move up, dramatically, in attractiveness. Men, on the other hand, are much more blessed with this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 10:43 PM |
| 1 | Don’t expect to have women attracted to you when you have no aspirations or nothing going on in your life.I would take it further, it's not enough to have aspirations, you have to follow through on actively working to achieve those aspirations (which, in fairness, you were hinting at when you said "guys who have something going on in their lives"). Just a guess, but I'd imagine this aspiration/success dynamic signals to a woman that if life gets serious, he has the ability to step in and fix what is going on (given his ability to have success in other areas of his life), which might be extremely cri… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/21 08:18 PM |
| 2 | How do BP/RP/PP women and men feel about who pays on dates in the pre-relationship phase? How does that decision impact you?Common decency would also dictate that women not use men they have no real interest in. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 08:45 PM |
| 2 | How do BP/RP/PP women and men feel about who pays on dates in the pre-relationship phase? How does that decision impact you?The rules to this are simple: Common decency dictates that if you ask someone on a date, you probably should pay for it. If she really is attracted to you, you can pay or not pay and most likely it will not bother her to the point of her breaking with you. If she is unsure about her attraction to you, you likely will have to play the Goldilocks game of insisting on paying just the right amount of times (not too few, not too many), lest she think you are either cheap or overbearing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/21 06:28 PM |
| 3 | Does a woman being funny change her value in relationships at all?I'd check again over this thread. "Yes. Men like to laugh too." "The few women with the skill have serious advantages in the dating market." "This is certainly attractive to a guy." "100 percent." "It's good to share a laugh with your partner..." "Yeah, I think most people prefer a partner who can make them laugh." "Women putting any effort in at all conversation wise increases her value dramatically" "Humor increases attraction, and lack of it is a red flag." "Yea having your gf take and make j… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 09:00 PM |
| 2 | Does a woman being funny change her value in relationships at all?- whether you will reproduce - how well you fit into their existing lifestyle - how agreeable she is All of these things are important, and I am definitely not saying that humor is a silver bullet than can erase away other concerns, but as a man, I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with someone who couldn't fire back. Play is such an important component of relationships, and humor/laughter is a huge part of play. Mousey types never do it for me, and although I'm not representative of al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 08:37 PM |
| 1 | Does a woman being funny change her value in relationships at all?Yes for me, as well. Almost all of the women I've been interested in/attracted to were either funny or bubbly. I would not want to be with someone who was dour. Not sure what the science is, but I would imagine humor is a good proxy for intelligence, which is also highly attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 06:14 PM |
| 5 | Are there really that many men interested in silly nerdy girls?"Sir, you can't just attack womanhood like that." I wasn't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 06:02 AM |
| 6 | If personality matters more than looks then why are most couples looksmatched ? Doesn’t that mean looks is the main currency ?I realize you're making a quip, but even then I don't really see anything wrong with that. Part of my beliefs is that marriage is til death. Two months work for a nice ring to wear for a lifetime doesn't really sound like a huge sacrifice. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 04:59 AM |
| 7 | If personality matters more than looks then why are most couples looksmatched ? Doesn’t that mean looks is the main currency ?Well if I'm with a group of women, my brain is automatically selecting the ones I'm attracted to from the ones I'm not. And within that pool of attractive women, I'm then vetting for personality. Looks is a mostly instantaneous attribute, thus it makes more sense to select for this first. For instance, if I meet 10 women, I could select for personality first, spend 10 minutes with each of them, rank their personalities, and then select for looks. That would take me 100 minutes. Or I could select… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 04:39 AM |
| 13 | If personality matters more than looks then why are most couples looksmatched ? Doesn’t that mean looks is the main currency ?What is meant is that most people have to meet a minimum threshold of "looks" before they can get a date. If they don't meet this threshold, their personality will not help them in any meaningful way. Also, I tend not to focus on the "casual relationship" side of male/female dynamics as my views are more trad and I prefer to approach this from a dating/marriage perspective. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 04:24 AM |
| 60 | If personality matters more than looks then why are most couples looksmatched ? Doesn’t that mean looks is the main currency ?Looks get you the date, personality gets you the ring. If you can't get the date, having the ring doesn't do you much good. Likewise, if you want more than a date, you'll need to acquire the ring. I personally think that's about as deep as it gets when it comes to the look/personality dichotomy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 01:53 AM |
| 1 | Purple-Pillers, how evenly are your beliefs in both pills mixed? What in particularly are your red and blue pill beliefs specifically?If you're a practicing Catholic, you should know that part of Catholicism is considering the Bible to be God-breathed. It is not merely a collection of books written in long-ago times. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 12:45 AM |
| 10 | Are there really that many men interested in silly nerdy girls?Just spit-balling an idea: Silly/nerdy might be one of the last remaining vestiges of generally-accepted femininity that women across political divides are able to express. To expand on that further, a lot of the traditional molds of femininity have been tossed aside in the West, namely: financial reliance on men, traditionally feminine clothing, motherhood, softness, home-keeping ability, etc. A lot of these expressions have been tossed aside and/or politicized. So if a woman only wears dresses… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/21 12:34 AM |
| 66 | Average men never truly experience a women's love at its full extentThe use of "love" in English can encompass many feelings, so in that sense I think this post is somewhat lacking. That said, there is definitely some truth to what you are saying (minus the insulting language). The gold standard in most marriages is for both spouses to experience eros (passionate love), agape (sacrificial love), and philia (deep friendship). This is why there is such a warning in regards to marrying women who had wild youths but have now hit 30 and are looking for a provider typ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/21 08:03 PM |
| 1 | What most women want in a manThis subreddit can have some interesting information, but it can also be very toxic, and there is a lot that is said here that I disagree with. I appreciate the positivity you are trying to bring to it, and I also completely get not wanting to stick around much longer. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/21 02:16 PM |
| 6 | What most women want in a manThank you for your kind words. I'm aware that the study involved female undergraduates, but I'm not impressed with the actual data collected. What do reactions to textual descriptions actually tell us? I think there's so much more to attraction (presence, charisma, body language, etc.) that purely textual descriptions can't capture. And dominance might be lurking in these unaccounted for methods of attraction. So even if a woman says, textually, that aggression isn't attractive, she might go to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/21 01:51 PM |
| 17 | What most women want in a manThe article is interesting, but the first series of studies he focuses on does nothing for me. Asking women to rate attractiveness purely on written text misses almost everything else about human social behavior. (It's like how men and women say they want someone nice and caring, until the stunning bombshell/tall alpha walks in the room). Textual descriptions, imo, are not the greatest measure of actual, real-world attraction. That said, the dominance/prestige dichotomy is very useful and I thin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/21 01:13 PM |
| 1 | Is male status overrated?Status is very real. Take a lot of famous males, pretend for a moment that they were tradesmen, and ask yourself if they would still be receiving the same female attention that they are now. Some might still be, based on their good looks. Many might not be. It all comes down to two simple truths in the dating realm: Women have to be; men have to become. Status is part of that becoming. It is further proof for women, even if on a subconscious level, that this would be a worthy person to mate with… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/21 07:50 PM |
| 1 | There is no such thing as a “High Value Woman (HVW)”I don't think that clarifies much, because one could just as easily ask: overweight lawyer vs athletic waitress? In which case, most men (likely) would pick the athletic waitress, so all you've really defined is that men prefer more visually attractive women. The real test would be average waitress vs. average lawyer, and the answer to this might be mixed much more among men. I think the baseline is that women tend to prefer men with above average traits in status, power, wealth, and physique, w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/21 05:14 PM |
| 1 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.My hope is not in this world, it is in God. It'll get better, Lifeis. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/21 04:07 AM |
| 2 | CMV: The majority of men have absolutely no conception of how much sexual and emotional trauma the average woman is carrying around with her and mens’ approach to sexual/relationships would be drastically improved if the majority of men could understand this.Well, in fairness, I didn't say "not drinking," I said not getting drunk. Drinking is fine within reason. We also have to define "conservative," because I don't see Islamic countries as torchbearers for any kind of model I would want to emulate in the West. I'm not sure if that's what you were referring to, or if you were referring to Eastern Europe, where even then you have to ask the question of how conservative are we really talking about. Also, you're dealing in correlations that do not stri… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/21 03:24 PM |
| 1 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.I’ll overlook that you’re using money as a proxy for attractiveness since this is a thought experiment, but realistically, money is absolutely not the only thing women marry for. You are also overlooking that attractive women are not evenly distributed: wealth correlated with beauty, as better nutrition and disease prevention both improve people’s looks. Realistically, a lot more attractive women live in Richland than in Poorland. But we will stick with your scenario. I didn't overlook this, you… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/21 03:10 PM |
| 6 | CMV: The majority of men have absolutely no conception of how much sexual and emotional trauma the average woman is carrying around with her and mens’ approach to sexual/relationships would be drastically improved if the majority of men could understand this.I think that's fair. I also think there is a problem (hard to quantify how small or large this is) of women categorizing, post-hoc, sexual experiences that they consented to as sexual assaults, ie "I regret it therefore I'm categorizing it as rape in my mind". I'm traditional in my beliefs, so I think a decent amount of problems could be avoided with a decent moral standing. "I was raped at a party after I became drunk." - As awful as something like this is--and should never happen--I would also… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/21 01:54 PM |
| 1 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.So let's take a case study of 3 countries: - Richland - Mediumland - Poorland Each has a population of 20 million people, with 50/50 sex ratio. Richland - Top 20% of men make 300k - Bottom 80% of men make 150k Mediumland - Top 20% of men make 100k - Bottom 80% of men make 50k Poorland - Top 20% of men make 30k - Bottom 80% of men make 10k The immediate observation that jumps out is that the top 20% of men in Poorland won't hold out as 20% once these countries are connected. But the stats are: 30… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/21 01:20 PM |
| 1 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.I... didn’t say anything about that? I mean, if he doesn’t want to move to India or Africa, he shouldn’t. Contradicts the implications of a previous paragraph: No, that isn’t my argument at all. My argument says nothing about any individual man. If your guy moves to another local environment where he’s now the small fish in a big pond some other man takes his place in his old location, and he won’t be in the top 20% in his new location. And if he moves to a new location where he’s doing great co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/21 01:19 PM |
| 1 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.IMO, this is one of the most interesting challenges to the idea, but there's an element of your post that doesn't ring true, and I would have to think more in depth as to why that would be. I think the crucial point is here: Now, the 20% locally vs 20% globally might not be exactly the same men... Some of the variables we are talking about (status, power, money, and wealth) are highly subjective and/or relative. It's not true that the 20% transfers easily. Suppose, you're in a local work environ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/21 11:55 AM |
| 2 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.I don't think it's misleading. The industrial revolution also took a sledgehammer to the status quo, but it also eventually opened up different opportunities for man. I see it the same way. Men will adapt. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 09:09 PM |
| 3 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.Approaching dating with labels, numbers, rankings, categories and math like this is the reason the picture for men appears “bleak” to you I think you misread, I said: "I actually don't think it's such a bleak picture for men" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 09:02 PM |
| 3 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy."You already admitted most men will never have this" I said how people date will change. Not that most men will never have love. I'm single, and have a ton of hope for the future. Nothing in my post should be construed to think that you should not hope. Also, Aristotle thought very highly of friendship and he was definitely not a woman (St. Thomas Aquinas, medieval philosopher and theologian also thought very highly of it as well). Again, after reading the way you type, these subreddits are prob… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 07:46 PM |
| 4 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.Love, friendship, beauty, a good book, a good meal for that matter, pursuits of the mind, adventures to other countries... but most of all I would say for God (I've read your posts and it seems you are not a believer, but I am... I'm Catholic). I really think, reading from your post history, that you're caught up in a dark space right now and aren't thinking clearly. It's as if you're caught in a negativity cycle. I'd recommend getting away from these subreddits, and start focusing on other thin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 07:14 PM |
| 4 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.That's not true, seehrovoloccip, there is so much to live for. Also, like I mentioned in my post, there are definitely strategies for men dating now. Don't let comments get you down, and please please seek help if this is what you are really feeling. You are loved. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 06:51 PM |
| 4 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.I still think there can be a distinct advantage to being IRL, kind of like when you go to the store, you're (perhaps) more likely to impulse buy something because it's right there in the store. Sometimes a person being right there can make the difference and give men (and women) a shot that they might not have had otherwise. But I do think the trend is more online, which will have to mean more "niche" focused for most men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 05:38 PM |
| 2 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.it's impossible to move up if you were initially not a 'cool teenager/adolescent' I disagree with this. Social media has given everyone a 5-second attention span. Who you were 10 minutes ago might not even matter to the public at the moment. I think it's very easy to "reinvent" yourself. Plus, everyone loves a good "I was bullied in high-school but now I'm popular" story. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 05:18 PM |
| 3 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.You pointed out that a strategy for men is to limit the number of available suitors that women have here: The play of the male with average attractiveness is to keep the hierarchies as local as possible. It's already harder than ever to limit women's options, and I expect it to get harder and harder for men to meet single women at church, school, work, bars, gyms, libraries, parks, etc. as time goes on because more women are going to OLD apps for convenience and filtered ways of weeding out men.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 05:15 PM |
| 7 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.If you're an average man looking to date an average woman then you're not really competing with top-tier men... Strongly disagree. You're always competing with top-tier men, provided that you acknowledge the hierarchy within hierarchy framework I listed. Top-tier does not necessarily mean billionaire/celebrity (ultimately it does at the macro level, but not necessarily within the hierarchy-within-hierarchy framework). It can simply mean someone who is enough above average on some combination of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 02:36 PM |
| 2 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.I think your distinction is of no real value. If "anyone can get a date," then we don't need a separate class to distinguish average and unattractive because they will end up following the same hierarchy, just at a slightly higher resolution. If there are those who are unable to get a date, it's irrelevant because they are out of the dating game anyway. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 02:23 PM |
| 2 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.Disagree. That's not what "average" means. And frankly, I hold that almost anyone can get a date if they're willing to lower their expectations enough. "typical; common; ordinary" https://www.dictionary.com/browse/average | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 02:08 PM |
| 2 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.Your hierarchy doesn't make sense--"average" cannot be the bottom, by definition. Where do unattractive people fit in? Not everyone is either "hot" or "ordinary." Really unattractive people (ie people who do not have any serious prospects at all) are out of the dating game anyway. If a man or a woman can get a date, I would categorize them into one of the average categories (normal/ordinary/pick synonym). If a hot guy/girl is DMing you, but he lives too far away to actually date, it's worthles… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 01:56 PM |
| 11 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.I think the 80/20 rule is a useful shorthand for the concept that a large proportion of women prefer (to the point of exclusion) a relatively low proportion of men. The hierarchy within hierarchy phenomenon complicates the math. To go back to the example I gave, the athletic neighborhood boy might be the top 20% of the neighborhood, but the bottom 50% of his future university class. But then he still pairs up anyway because the neighborhood girl remembers all the good feelings she had for him. S… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 10:50 AM |
| 3 | The real problem: The internet took a sledgehammer to the dating hierarchy.I don't really think it has to be that dramatic. Again, I hold to the hierarchies within hierarchies perspective. Say you have a close group of friends. - The most attractive of the girls are going to set themselves at the top. - The average girls will jockey for friendship with the attractive girls. - The average males will try to befriend the most attractive girls who will also reciprocate and befriend them. - The attractive girls will desire the most attractive males. - The average girls will… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/21 10:21 AM |
| 5 | Study: Children of older fathers are less attractive. Maternal age has no effect on attractiveness.I'm not an expert, but I suggest a couple of problems: - [1] What kind of effect are we actually talking, here? For instance, a 2014 study said "the odds of autism among children born to fathers older than 45 are about 75 percent higher than for children born to fathers in their early 20s." Sounds bad, right? 75%. Another study found that "about 1.5 percent of children born to parents in their 20s will have autism, compared with about 1.58 percent of children born to parents in their 40s." So I'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/21 04:01 PM |
| 1 | What type of woman would it take to be the N in AWALT?If her libido is so high - why wouldn’t she have had sex with some of the more serious prospects? The same reason why someone who has a sweet tooth doesn't spend their entire paycheck on Häagen-Dazs: self-control. Just because one has an impulse does not mean they need to be ruled by that impulse. This is not freedom, it is slavery. If her libido is so high, why wouldn’t she want to make sure she’s sexually compatible with her future husband before they marry? You assume sexual compatibility c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 05:10 PM |
| 1 | What type of woman would it take to be the N in AWALT?That's an interesting question. Most likely I would only date straight women, as life is complicated enough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 02:01 PM |
| 2 | What type of woman would it take to be the N in AWALT?This may not be true for everyone, but I think "AWALT" can often times be a defense mechanism by men to either prevent themselves from getting hurt, or to stop the bleeding of the hurt they are already feeling. To put it another way, there might be one group of men who look around and see men getting hurt left and right and they tell themselves "AWALT" so they don't risk falling in love and getting hurt themselves (if they haven't been, already). There might be another group of men who struggle … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 01:57 PM |
| 5 | What type of woman would it take to be the N in AWALT?this woman could have her pick. The good news, then, is that everything I listed is entirely within a woman's control. Also, this post was not about what the man should bring to the table, that's tangential to the thread maker's post. But I also do not have problems with women having standards (within reason), I think that is a good thing and is to be encouraged. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 11:49 AM |
| 1 | What type of woman would it take to be the N in AWALT?What's wrong with having friends of the opposite gender? This is the classic question of "can men and women be friends and it not be a serious temptation?" I'm more inclined to think they cannot be, at least not in any serious sense of the word "friend." There is plenty of anecdotal evidence online of stories regarding wives cheating with their male best friends or coworkers, so this is at least a temptation for some people. A quick search led me to the following: Extramarital sex partners likel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 11:42 AM |
| 0 | What type of woman would it take to be the N in AWALT?Women who stay virgins until they marry, even when seriously dating and searching for a husband, probably aren’t likely to be initiating constant sex You haven't sufficiently demonstrated why this would be contradictory. Whether it would be likely is another question, but it's definitely not contradictory. There do exist women who 1) save themselves for marriage and 2) have a high libido and wish to make the most of it with their husband. Both attitudes can and do coexist within the same women, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 10:05 AM |
| 3 | What type of woman would it take to be the N in AWALT?saves herself for a man she doesn’t even know yet This is a wise and prudent thing, and it can be a difference between high time preference people and low time preference people. "Can you believe that guy puts away money and saves it for a later situation he doesn't even know will happen yet" Yes, that's prudence, and most people's savings are based on this idea. but not having sex with him, because she is saving it for a better guy in the future I don't understand this point. A woman can cons… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 08:10 AM |
| 11 | What type of woman would it take to be the N in AWALT?I don't believe in "AWALT", but the "typical" behaviors and counter-behaviors would be the following, IMO: ---------- "AWALT": Your relationship will end in a dead bedroom. NAWALT: Your wife is both constantly initiative and receptive to a great and proper sex life. ---------- "AWALT": Once your wife has secured you, she will let herself go. NAWALT: Your wife not only maintains the physique she had when you met, but she even strives to improve herself beyond that. ---------- "AWALT": Your wife h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/21 07:20 AM |
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