Shai_Hulu_Hoop Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	Four years out of winning my divorce and I cannot find peace. This dude speaks the truth! Op! Listen to him. A therapist can really change your perspective. Maybe check out Thais Gibson on YouTube and listen to one on if you are an anxious preoccupied attachment style? Or maybe a dismissive avoidant or fearful avoidant. People often pick up on these things and avoid it instinctually. And you really, really need to answer what you want. If you want more kids, you need a reverse vasectomy. Then try to date a woman that wants kids. Do you really want to be ap…	/r/Divorce_Men	27/05/26 09:54 PM
1	Wife Considering Divorce Wants to Record Conversations If this came from therapy or couples counseling, yes. Get some rules to follow. Like you guys both record it. Counselors do this to improve communication, so you see/hear how you talk/react. Sounds like it wasn’t from this. So HELL NO!	/r/Divorce_Men	27/05/26 03:35 AM
1	Have "Christian" influencers like Lysa TerKeurst, Leslie Vernick, and Henry Cloud contributed to marriages falling apart? I think what you are seeing is major areas requiring growth, and then the woman realizes she already has so much resentment she doesn’t WANT to heal.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/26 08:51 PM
0	Divorced dads: I can’t imagine leaving my wife even though our personalities are polar opposites and the marriage is slowly killing me (M35, F33, 1 kid) Why do you say it’s AI?	/r/Divorce_Men	24/03/26 04:31 PM
0	Divorced dads: I can’t imagine leaving my wife even though our personalities are polar opposites and the marriage is slowly killing me (M35, F33, 1 kid) You need to be very intentional now for yourself. What do YOU want? I struggled with that question for YEARS. Ultimately for me, I want to feel desired in and out of the bedroom. For my wife, she is utterly incapable of having desire. Why? Well, she is safe and stable and likes safe and stable. Sexual desire is too charged, so she trained her nervous system to simply not after she was emotionally abused by her ex-husband. So you aren’t wrong for wanting that connection with your wife. She is pro…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/03/26 04:31 PM
6	My ex has a support group, a therapist, and her friends. I have... my dog. Why is this so gendered? Get a therapist. Find a men’s divorced group. Why are you complaining about not having these when you can simply have these? Don’t you think there would be helpful? There are therapists for me.	/r/Divorce_Men	24/03/26 04:08 PM
2	What are you supposed to do when you think divorce is the only way? Therapy AND lawyer. Therapy for: why is it not working? What is it you are needing. What patterns are at work in me, her, in the relationship. If you are patient and willing to wait, therapy and counseling can typically save you money and facilitate being healthier once you get to the other side. Typically mediation works out better when built from therapy and counseling.	/r/Divorce_Men	19/03/26 06:06 PM
0	I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts. Marriage doesn’t need to be the conclusion though. And a prenup, can transform the marriage into one that really can end with no unequal costs. Ya, it may be painful, but it ensures the man isn’t trapped	/r/Divorce_Men	19/03/26 02:27 PM
5	I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts. Those women should be avoided. Society is sick, frankly. Find a woman that is intentional and accountable. Does she own her mistakes? Does she choose to prioritize you? Does she avoid distractions when you spend time together? Does she make you a focus in your appropriate times or when it’s convenient? Is she curious about you? These are some of the hallmarks of a healthy partner. They need to be healthy on their own before they can be healthy with you. Be fine with meeting people and breaking u…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/03/26 02:15 PM
1	After 11 years, I finally filed. Here are the real reasons and they're not what anyone expects Therapy and couples counseling help. In therapy I am learning to stop people pleasing. It also can be a coaching space for me to learn to communicate and be assertive. Also the mental health AI app Ash is pretty helpful as a communication coach or for journaling.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/03/26 08:40 PM
1	After 11 years, I finally filed. Here are the real reasons and they're not what anyone expects God this has felt like me. Right now she is trying. Not sure if it’s real or lasting or what, but I felt like that for the last year.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/03/26 08:39 PM
2	After 11 years, I finally filed. Here are the real reasons and they're not what anyone expects What do you mean, “filed silver bullet”?	/r/Divorce_Men	18/03/26 08:32 PM
20	This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry again FYI, it is super normal to feel AMAZING in wake of an intentional separation. Therapists know this. And if you do it with the support of one, they can warn you. It’s like a new honeymoon stage for yourself that evaporates within 6 months to a year. And then you start to perceive what you are missing. So this woman MIGHT have been in a toxic or super avoidant relationship in which case separation really is an improvement. More likely it’s just a matter of time before she thinks wistfully about wa…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/03/26 07:04 PM
4	Ex is saying I violated MSA What are you talking about?!? It’s vaccines. Basic medical care being neglected. No judge will give a shit about the wife’s bullshit on this one.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/02/26 02:08 PM
2	False promises on separation The only way people should do a separation is under a written agreement ideally done with an experience couples counselor as part of attempts at repair. How? Because after a few months the (6 - 9) most folks have some degree of realization on what their spouse provided them that they took for granted. And it’s important to do this with a counselor because they can help ensure that the separation includes all the items of the marriage. Even income, bill paying responsibilities, chores, etc. Separ…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/02/26 08:28 PM
3	How do you attract healed women? What people mean by healed typically is both their attachment style and the damage from their previous relationships. Sure, you are still wounded and the memories hurt, but you don’t operate in that automatic space your body wants from you. Instead you chooser the healthier thing nearly always.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/02/26 08:33 PM
1	She doesn't want less money despite the significant changes Why do you even care what she thinks on this? It comes down to what the court says, no? First off, these are your kids. You love them and want the best for them. She wants what is best for the kids (I hope), but honestly, money to her for their care is still income. She will protect it and has no desire for it to reduce even if it is fair. So get your lawyer and found out what is best. What is fair? If the gap between what is reasonable given the circumstances and what the status quo is, then ge…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/01/26 03:01 PM
3	Worst thing I could have done Block her and never look back. Maybe make a single social media post as your dispassionate response, or don't. Either way, do NOT let someone else's opinion (especially an ex!) have any impact on your self worth. No one matters to your self worth except you and God. You have value regardless because you are human.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/01/26 02:35 PM
12	Can’t imagine myself ever being in a relationship again This is your body working on healing. It knows what you, your soul, and your mind need. There are so many books that are both encouraging and clinical in how to help you with this (Attached, 5 Love Languages, Self-Compassion, The Mountain is You, and more). You can do therapy, group therapy, one on one, or just coaching. Whatever you do, ensure it serves your needs, teaches you about yourself, and helps you be intentional on growing into a healed version of you. Try the therapy. Decide if it wor…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/01/26 02:33 PM
3	Wife frequently calls me a “useless piece of shit” This sounds pretty painful for you. You seem to be a very good and attentive man, father, husband. You are valuable REGARDLESS of all of that. Useless? She is honestly full of crap. She implies you are valuable only from what you do. She is wrong. You are valuable because you are a human with flaws like all of us. I would want to know where this is coming from. Some sort of resentment coming out. Did something happen 9 months ago? It sounds like it might be a 'her' problem. It sounds like you ar…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/01/26 07:10 PM
1	Ex wife crashed date with new woman. Awesome, next time have your priorities right. If the ex says she is going to do something to herself, that is her problem to sort out when you have dedicated time to your new girl.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/10/25 04:30 PM