~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?It’s okay to go through periods where nothing really “clicks” the way you expect it to. Attraction isn’t something you can force, and sometimes it just goes quiet for a while. That doesn’t mean something is wrong with you it can just mean you’re in a phase where your heart and mind are asking for something different or maybe just needing a bit of space to reset. I also think it says something good about you that you’re leaning on your family and friends right now. That kind of support matters mo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 07:04 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?At the same time, I think life doesn’t always fit neatly into “you’re just not ready yet” or “once you put in effort everything will open up.” Sometimes people are already carrying a lot and it’s not that they’re choosing to withdraw it’s just that energy, motivation and even emotional space aren’t always steady things you can switch on. I do agree that staying completely isolated isn’t the answer. Having some kind of connection even in small ways, matters. But I also think it’s okay if that loo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 07:02 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?If marriage feels like too much structure or risk it doesn’t mean you’re against love or connection it just means you’re choosing a path that feels safer and more honest for you right now. Not everyone connects commitment with paperwork or legal ties. For some people, real commitment is shown in presence, consistency, respect and how two people treat each other day by day. Still, it’s worth being mindful that “too much risk” can sometimes come from past experiences or things you’ve seen that lef… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:58 AM |
| 2 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?There’s something powerful about learning to be comfortable in your own company instead of running from it. A lot of people never get there and they stay surrounded by noise but still feel empty. So I understand what you mean when you say solitude feels peaceful and even “addictive” in a way. At the same time, I also hold space for the idea that life doesn’t always have to be an either/or. Peace doesn’t have to mean closing every door just like connection doesn’t have to mean losing yourself or … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:56 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?When someone you once shared your life with moves on and seems settled, it can feel like a quiet kind of rejection even when no one is actually rejecting you. It just stirs up that question of “why not me?” and that can sit heavy in the chest. But your path isn’t meant to mirror theirs. The fact that they remarried quickly and appear happy doesn’t say anything about your value, your desirability or your future. It only says they made a different set of choices in a different emotional space. Wha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:54 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?I also think healing isn’t always that linear. It’s not always “pause life, rebuild everything, then re-enter.” Sometimes people are just trying to find their footing while still living, still feeling things, still figuring it out day by day. I don’t think that makes it wrong or rushed it just makes it human. I do agree that filling emptiness with the wrong connection doesn’t help. But I also don’t want to completely shut myself off from connection while I’m working on myself either. I think the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:52 AM |
| 2 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?There’s something powerful about choosing yourself like that cooking your own meals, moving your body, reading, traveling, building a life that still feels like yours outside of motherhood. A lot of people don’t talk enough about how much strength it takes to keep growing when life already feels full. And yeah… the nights can feel different. Not necessarily “bad,” just quieter in a way that gives your thoughts more room than you asked for. But it also sounds like you’re not running from that you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:48 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?Sometimes it feels like everyone is just quietly trying to keep their head above water and hoping something eventually clicks. There’s something oddly comforting about knowing you’re not the only one in that space, even if it doesn’t really solve anything in the moment. Just… doing your best with what you have, one day at a time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:46 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?A good relationship isn’t about control or losing yourself it’s supposed to be two people choosing each other while still keeping their individuality intact. And when it’s healthy it doesn’t take away your freedom to do the things you love like riding, fishing, traveling, or anything else it actually adds someone who supports it not restricts it. I also don’t fully agree with the idea that love inevitably turns into betrayal or loss. Yes, people change, and sometimes relationships do end painful… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:44 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?That kind of wording can feel a bit intense or even off-putting when you first see it especially on a dating profile. At the same time, I try to remind myself that some people are just being very direct about what they want in life. For them, it might not be about pressure or rushing anything but more about being honest that they’re looking for something serious and long-term. Still, the way it’s phrased can definitely come across a bit heavy or uncomfortable depending on how someone reads it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:42 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?Coming out of something that long changes your whole internal rhythm. A 17-year relationship isn’t just a breakup it’s a full identity shift. So it makes sense that the idea of immediately stepping into something serious again feels like too much, too soon. At the same time, it sounds exhausting to feel like the only “available” options around you are people moving at a completely different pace than you are. That mismatch can make it feel like you’re boxed into two choices that both don’t feel … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:40 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?Not everything deserves your attention that’s true. But I hope you don’t close the door on everything just because some things were chaotic. Some people are messy, sure but not all of them are “crazy,” and not all situations are meant to drain you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:38 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?There’s nothing wrong with choosing your own company when the world feels too loud or too uncertain. Silence can be grounding. It can help you come back to yourself without all the noise of other people’s energy pulling at you. But I also want to gently hold another possibility alongside that sometimes what feels like “crazy in their eyes” is just stress, pain, distraction or their own battles showing through in ways that aren’t about you at all. We all carry things that leak out in our expressi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:36 AM |
| 1 | Anybody else have trouble dating after divorce?Getting close to someone, feeling that shift when it starts to feel real then pulling back out of fear that’s not unusual at all. Especially when you’ve got a little one in your life and you’re trying to be careful about who you let into that space. That kind of responsibility changes how you move. But I also think it’s okay to admit the part you said quietly at the end that you miss her. Both things can be true at the same time: you weren’t fully ready and you still felt something real enough t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:34 AM |
| 1 | Do people ask you when you tell them you are getting a divorce…Having to let go of a home and then start over somewhere new just to meet the requirements for custody… it can feel like you’ve lost more than just a place, it’s a whole chapter of life being closed in a way you didn’t plan. At the same time, there’s something very clear in what you said too everything was done to protect your son’s stability and make sure he has equal time with both parents. Even when the process is painful and disruptive that kind of commitment to his well-being is what you we… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:30 AM |
| 1 | Do people ask you when you tell them you are getting a divorce…When life turns into years of uncertainty like that trying to work, trying to hold down stability for the kids and at the same time dealing with ongoing legal changes and resets it can start to feel like you never get to fully breathe or settle. It’s not just the situation itself but the constant pressure of having to adapt again and again. And with shift work especially, there’s no “easy fix” for childcare or routine. It already puts you in a position where you’re stretching yourself thin just … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:27 AM |
| 1 | Do people ask you when you tell them you are getting a divorce…Some people will only ever respond to what’s visible on the surface, so their “congratulations” can feel a bit empty when you know how much more is underneath it all. But that doesn’t take away from what you’ve actually done or who you are. It just shows the limits of how well some people are able to understand you not the limits of your worth or your journey. Still, it can feel a little lonely when you’re seen only partially. Like you’re standing in front of people but not fully recognized. And… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:24 AM |
| 2 | Do people ask you when you tell them you are getting a divorce…When something like that happens, it’s hard not to replay it in your mind and feel that frustration all over again especially when kids are involved and you’re trying to hold everything together for their sake. At the same time, I can see the strength in what you’re saying too choosing to still focus on the children and on becoming better yourself even when the environment around you isn’t ideal. That’s not easy at all. It takes a lot of patience and self-control to keep your heart in the right … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:22 AM |
| 1 | Do people ask you when you tell them you are getting a divorce…Being in a position where others automatically assume you’re “the problem” can feel isolating and unfair, particularly when there are complicated family dynamics involved. And when trust is damaged through things like dishonesty or betrayal it often doesn’t just stay between two people it spills into friendships, perception and how your whole story gets interpreted by others. I can hear how much it’s weighed on you, not just the situation itself but the way you’ve been seen and spoken about thro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:20 AM |
| 2 | Do people ask you when you tell them you are getting a divorce…That means more than you probably realize. And thank you as well for the congratulations it’s nice to have moments where something feels worth celebrating even when everything isn’t perfectly aligned underneath it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:17 AM |
| 1 | Do people ask you when you tell them you are getting a divorce…Carrying something like that mostly in silence can feel isolating especially when you’re still expected to keep up with work and everyday life as if nothing is happening underneath it all. It also says a lot that you only shared it with a very small circle people you felt would actually understand without judgment or too many questions. Sometimes that’s all you can do to protect your own peace in the moment. But even so, you shouldn’t have had to hold it all so tightly by yourself. Having to “ma… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:14 AM |
| 1 | Do people ask you when you tell them you are getting a divorce…Sometimes it’s not about telling everyone it’s about knowing who can truly handle what you’re carrying without making it heavier. Keeping it within a small circle can be your way of staying of making sure your energy isn’t scattered trying to explain yourself over and over again. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. Just make sure the few you’ve trusted are people who really see you and can hold that space with care. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:12 AM |
| 1 | Do people ask you when you tell them you are getting a divorce…Anyone would get fed up with being asked the same thing over and over like that. Sharing a space with an ex while you’re trying to get back on your feet isn’t easy either it’s just a temporary situation you’re navigating not something people need to keep questioning you about. You don’t owe everyone a long explanation. A simple “it’s temporary, I’m sorting things out” is more than enough. What matters is that you’re focused on your next step and working toward your own place. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/26 06:10 AM |
| 1 | Good experience with female lawyers?I truly believe that healing is possible even though the journey can be difficult and sometimes overwhelming. None of us are perfect and we all carry wounds from experiences that have shaped us in different ways. What matters is continuing to move forward, one step at a time even on the days when it feels impossible. Staying positive isn't always easy but knowing that we are not alone can make a world of difference. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable. Sometimes the strongest thing a perso… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/06/26 11:26 AM |
| 1 | Good experience with female lawyers?When someone's actions have real consequences on your life especially your job and reputation those experiences don't just disappear because they decide to act like everything is normal again. It sounds like you've reached a point where you're choosing caution over trust and given everything you've described that's understandable. Keeping interactions public and maintaining healthy boundaries seems like a wise decision for your own protection and peace of mind. What I respect most is that you're… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:58 PM |
| 2 | Good experience with female lawyers?What comes through most strongly in what you shared is how much you care about your kids and their future, and how painful it is to feel like decisions made during mediation and court are impacting things like stability and education in ways that feel irreversible. That kind of outcome can leave a lasting sense of unfairness and helplessness even when you’ve tried to do everything “the right way” through legal representation and mediation. The hardest part is that the process itself often doesn’… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:47 AM |
| 1 | Good experience with female lawyers?I can understand why seeing wording like that would immediately feel like a loss of trust. In situations like this, clarity matters a lot and anything that feels like it gives the other side more control can feel very alarming. Even if the lawyer’s intention was strategy, it still needed to be explained in a way that made you feel informed and included not blindsided. What matters now is that you noticed it right away and acted on it. That says you’re paying attention to what feels right for you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:44 AM |
| 1 | Good experience with female lawyers?When someone goes through something like a divorce and then feels like the system that’s supposed to be fair didn’t protect them or their children, it can leave a deep sense of betrayal and anger that stays with you for a long time. I can understand why the lawyer who helped you afterward stood out so much sometimes just having one person who is honest, clear, and willing to set real expectations can make all the difference when everything else feels confusing or stacked against you. Even when t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:42 AM |
| 1 | Good experience with female lawyers?You’ve got a strong advocate in your corner and that can make a huge difference when things feel complicated or high-stakes. Having someone experienced who is willing to be direct with you about what to watch for and how to protect yourself can definitely help you stay grounded in the process. In situations like this, it’s easy for anyone on either side to feel misunderstood or to interpret things through frustration or stress. Focusing on facts, clear communication, and what can actually be pro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:39 AM |
| 1 | Good experience with female lawyers?When you find someone in a role like that who actually understands your situation and handles things well it really changes the whole experience. It’s not just about their title it’s about trust, consistency and feeling like you’re properly represented. Sticking with one person you believe in also says a lot. It shows you value stability and don’t just switch around without reason. That kind of confidence in your choice matters. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:37 AM |
| 2 | Good experience with female lawyers?If a mediator comes across as biased, it can make the whole process feel one-sided and leave you questioning whether your concerns were truly taken into account. I can understand why that would sit heavy with you. When you’re already trying to navigate something difficult, you don’t also want to feel like the person meant to be neutral isn’t fully neutral. At the same time, sometimes what feels like bias can also come from miscommunication or different interpretations of what’s being said but ei… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:35 AM |
| 1 | Good experience with female lawyers?That kind of moment in court can feel like everything finally shifted in your favor after a long, stressful fight. Still, even when things go your way legally, it doesn’t always erase what you’ve been carrying emotionally. I hope this win gives you some breathing room and a chance to reset, not just another chapter of conflict. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:33 AM |
| 1 | Good experience with female lawyers?Having someone like that on your side brings a lot of confidence, especially when things get difficult | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:30 AM |
| 1 | Good experience with female lawyers?I can imagine it wasn’t easy to go through or even watch unfold. Hopefully things have settled down a bit now and you’re in a calmer place moving forward. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 05:29 AM |
| 2 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?You're welcome | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 01:39 PM |
| 1 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?What you’ve been through sounds incredibly painful and it makes complete sense that hearing platitudes or assumptions from others would feel dismissive or even hurtful. You and your kids have been through a lot and your feelings and experiences deserve acknowledgment not cheap reassurance. I can’t pretend to fully know your story but I can see the strength it takes to survive and keep going despite everything. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:36 AM |
| 1 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?Those inner voices can be so loud sometimes it’s like they’re working against you instead of for you. I just want you to know it’s completely normal to feel that way. Even strangers can see it’s human to wrestle with yourself, to have doubt, to feel conflicted. You’re not broken for feeling this it’s part of being alive and trying to figure things out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:34 AM |
| 1 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?I really admire the strength it takes to get through something like that. I can hear both the pain that lingers and the resolve in your words you’re acknowledging the hurt without letting it define you. It’s brave to say “I’m done,” and even braver to really mean it and move forward. The fact that you can recognize your own growth and healing is beautiful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:32 AM |
| 2 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?Crazy how much weight just not being constantly on edge can lift off your shoulders. I think there’s something really honest about recognizing the difference between loneliness and being in a situation that wears you down. Nights alone can feel heavy but at the same time there’s a kind of peace that comes with not having to navigate someone else’s anger or frustration all the time. It’s not easy to admit that the relief can outweigh the companionship and I respect that honesty. I guess life’s me… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:28 AM |
| 1 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?A bittersweet place to be acknowledging the loss but also recognizing your own growth and peace. It takes a lot of self-awareness to feel that regret without clinging to it and it sounds like you’ve come a long way. I think there’s something really beautiful about being able to honor what was lost while still valuing where you are now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:25 AM |
| 1 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?Hearing the complexity in what you’re saying the mix of relief and regret the acknowledgment of a difficult ending alongside the frustration of how it unfolded. That’s such a human place to be and it takes courage to express it. It sounds like you’ve found some peace in the ending even if the journey there wasn’t what you hoped. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:23 AM |
| 2 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?Sounds like that chapter of your life was incredibly hard but you’ve found a kind of freedom and clarity that’s rare. There’s something really powerful about recognizing that happiness and peace are worth more than any money or “what ifs.” I imagine it must take courage to face the past without resentment and to fully embrace the life you have now. It’s inspiring to hear someone value their own well-being so clearly and to admit that life isn’t perfect yet still feel grateful for the space and c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:20 AM |
| 2 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?Life doesn’t always hand us the choices we’d like and sometimes the path just appears under our feet whether we’re ready or not. I like what you said about easier not always being better it’s true. The hard parts, the challenges, they shape who we are and sometimes give life a depth comfort can’t. It’s brave to see things that way to accept the situation and still look for growth and meaning in it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:17 AM |
| 1 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?I love how you can feel so happy both with someone you care about and just being with yourself that kind of self-contentment is rare and powerful. It sounds like you’re really present in your own life and also open to sharing it with someone special. Honestly, it makes me smile just reading it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:14 AM |
| 0 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?It’s like you’re carrying both relief and loss at the same time and that’s such a heavy confusing place to be. It makes sense that doing it alone is hard but being stuck with the wrong person would have been its own kind of slow pain. I admire how clearly you can see the long-term picture that even though it’s rough now there’s a path forward that could actually be better. A year out is still fresh and it’s okay that it’s not all “good” yet. What you’re doing processing, reflecting, being honest… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:12 AM |
| 2 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?Funny how we always think about the ‘what ifs,’ but honestly doing it now still counts for so much. The fact that you went for it at all is something to really appreciate sometimes the timing isn’t perfect but the choice itself is what matters. I think it says a lot about courage and being open to change. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:09 AM |
| 0 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?You’ve really leaned into your own truth and come to a place of acceptance even in the middle of something so complicated and painful. That kind of perspective seeing that peace is priceless is really rare and beautiful. I can also sense the tension of what’s left unsaid the financial battles and the lingering attachments and yet you’re holding your ground without regret. That takes courage, honesty and a kind of wisdom that comes from truly knowing yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:07 AM |
| 6 | Anyone willing to admit they actually regret leaving?Sometimes loving someone isn’t enough to make things work and that realization is painful but also honest. It takes courage to accept that even when your heart wants otherwise. I hope you can give yourself some grace through this it’s okay to feel everything and still move forward. Letting go doesn’t mean you loved any less; it just means you’re being honest with yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/26 08:05 AM |
| 1 | Trying to decide if I should hop on the appsYou don’t have to have it all figured out to start something or to take your time. Sometimes, just being willing to try to feel uncertain to pay attention to yourself that’s enough. You’re allowed to not be ready yet and you’re allowed to move forward anyway. Life doesn’t hand out perfect timing but it does give us chances to grow. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/26 05:39 AM |
| 1 | Trying to decide if I should hop on the appsFeeling something for someone but knowing it can’t go that way or having to put your own feelings aside it’s not easy. I imagine it can get kind of exhausting doing that over and over but at the same time it shows a lot about who you are honest, thoughtful, someone who cares enough to do the right thing even if it’s hard. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/26 05:35 AM |
| 1 | One day at a time my dudesYou're welcome | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/26 05:29 AM |
| 2 | One day at a time my dudesFirst days are always the hardest it’s like your body and mind are adjusting to all the changes at once. I can only imagine how draining it must’ve been. It’s really brave of you to keep going and I admire that. I think it makes sense that it’s hard to explain to people who haven’t experienced it some things just have to be felt to be understood. I’m glad you found this community it sounds like a place where you can finally be heard and not have to filter yourself. You’re doing something really … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/26 01:39 AM |
| 1 | One day at a time my dudesYou're welcome am woman | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 06:29 PM |
| 1 | One day at a time my dudesThat’s a lot to hold at once and it makes total sense that it’s stirring up old stuff too. You’re doing the hard work of facing it even when it’s painful and that’s so damn human. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 03:05 PM |
| 2 | One day at a time my dudesThat’s rough having someone use your kids as a weapon it hits hard in ways that never quite go away but I can tell how much you care and it shows in the way you’re focusing on your boys and yourself. Staying steady, keeping your routine, showing up fully for them that’s huge and it’ll matter to them more than anyone knows. The bond you’ve built with them is real and those moments with you are theirs forever. People can underestimate that but love like yours doesn’t just disappear and they’ll alw… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 11:49 AM |
| 2 | One day at a time my dudesRare to read something that captures so clearly the process of just figuring things out and all the messy, confusing, beautiful parts that come with it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 11:46 AM |
| 2 | One day at a time my dudesLeaving behind your home and your pets stepping into that unknown that’s not easy and it’s okay that it feels strange and heavy. I can feel your awareness in what you wrote that staying wasn’t healthy for you. That takes a lot of honesty with yourself and it’s such a strong brave choice. Even if it feels lonely now you’re heading toward people who care about you and that connection is going to be step by step. Just keep taking those deep breaths. Let yourself feel what’s real fear, relief, sadne… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 11:43 AM |
| 2 | How to you get over her?Such a heavy load to carry for so long and it makes sense that you’d need space to relearn how to put yourself first. It’s really brave to be honest about that with yourself it’s not easy at all. I’m glad you have people in your corner who see and support you. That kind of connection matters more than words can say and therapy could be a really gentle way to strengthen your boundaries and remind yourself that your feelings and needs are valid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 09:34 AM |
| 2 | How to you get over her?It’s like carrying a weight that nobody else can see and I can only imagine how exhausting it must feel when it just keeps getting heavier. I really respect you for acknowledging it and keeping the fight alive it takes courage just to face your own mind every day. Even as strangers reading your words makes me feel connected to that struggle like a quiet reminder that we’re all in some way trying to navigate our own storms. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 11:33 PM |
| 1 | How to you get over her?Hard not to dwell on the past especially the good times but I think you’re right sometimes the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is just take it slow and let things unfold. Focusing on the little joys the things that still make us feel alive seems like the only way to keep moving forward without being stuck in what’s already gone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 11:31 PM |
| 2 | How to you get over her?Letting go of someone you loved so deeply is one of the hardest things a heart can endure. It’s brave of you to acknowledge that she’s no longer part of your life and to give yourself permission to start a new chapter. Life has a way of reshaping us sometimes painfully, sometimes beautifully and moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting it means honoring what was while making space for what could be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 11:28 PM |
| 1 | How to you get over her?It’s strange but I think sometimes that anger or resentment is like a bridge it helps you get from being hurt to actually letting go. Not the healthiest long-term maybe but it’s part of processing and you’re right staying stuck with someone who doesn’t feel the same way isn’t good for anyone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 11:27 PM |
| 1 | How to you get over her?Love can leave such a mess when it fades or disappears and sometimes you have to do something drastic to stop it from hurting all the time. Deciding to hate her it might sound extreme but if it gave you space to breathe and move on then it makes sense. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person just that you were trying to survive the intensity of those feelings. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 11:25 PM |
| 1 | How to you get over her?Saying it over and over almost feels like you’re holding onto a lifeline, doesn’t it? There’s something kind of brave in admitting that it hurts and still believing it won’t last forever. I think sometimes the simple act of repeating it to yourself is enough to remind your mind and heart that this moment isn’t permanent no matter how heavy it feels. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 11:22 PM |
| 2 | How to you get over her?Amazing how asking yourself that one simple question—“Is she acting like somebody who loves me?” can cut through all the confusion and heartache. I think so often we get caught up in memories or what we wish someone would be and forget to check what’s actually happening in the present. It’s hard to accept but realizing someone isn’t giving the love you need can actually be freeing. It’s like you finally give yourself permission to stop chasing something that’s not there and start looking toward … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 11:20 PM |
| 2 | How to you get over her?Sometimes our own thoughts can feel overwhelming and having someone to talk to or just being around people who make you laugh or think can really shift that. There’s something comforting in sharing moments and ideas with others even if it’s just small conversations. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 11:18 PM |
| 1 | How to you get over her?Life’s too short to overthink everything and sometimes the best moments come from just being open and seeing where things go. It’s nice to be reminded to enjoy the ride even if it’s just for now without putting too much pressure on it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 10:49 PM |
| 1 | How to you get over her?Two years is a long time and it makes sense that you wouldn’t just “move on” overnight. It’s really human to carry some of that weight with you even while finding ways to make day-to-day life easier. I think it’s brave to keep showing up for yourself in whatever small ways you can. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 10:48 PM |
| 2 | How to you get over her?It takes a lot of courage to face that kind of pain and still see the truth about yourself and the changes life has put you through. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time realizing that love you once had can’t be the same not because it wasn’t real but because you’ve both grown into different versions of yourselves. That kind of honesty especially toward someone you care about is rare. I hope you give yourself space to grieve to feel everything and to keep seeing the growth in yourse… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 10:40 PM |
| 1 | How to you get over her?At the same time I think part of what makes someone special isn’t just the idea of “the one,” but the connection and care you share with them. Breaking an illusion might show perspective but it doesn’t always tell the whole story about love, meaning or how someone really touches your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 10:38 PM |
| 1 | How to you get over her?I can feel the exhaustion and the tension in what you’re saying. It’s like you’re trapped between the pull of something familiar and the instinct to protect yourself and that’s exhausting in a way most people don’t get. There’s something painfully honest about admitting that the idea of going back feels terrifying even when part of you still wants it and the way you described turning to something absurdly safe like tap dancing through a minefield made me actually smile a little even though it’s … | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 10:36 PM |
| 1 | Would you do it all over again?That’s a lot of love, effort and patience to pour into someone especially when it wasn’t fully reciprocated. It makes sense that it would leave you feeling hurt and also questioning timing, life and what comes next but honestly what stands out to me is your resilience and how you’re building a life around your passions, your friends and your community. That’s so alive, so present and it’s the kind of foundation that can attract someone who truly sees and cherishes you. What you did for her—suppo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 12:05 AM |
| 2 | Would you do it all over again?Seventeen years is such a long time and it makes sense that after all that you’re just at the point of needing to take care of yourself. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to feel like most people around you don’t fully get it or are trying to push you in a direction that doesn’t feel right. It takes a lot of strength to honor your own needs even when it’s painful and complicated. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 11:57 PM |
| 0 | Would you do it all over again?Carrying a lot of conflicting feelings right now love, guilt, responsibility and maybe even a little confusion. It makes total sense that when someone gives you attention like that it’s hard not to get swept up especially if it’s new or intense and then adding the kids into the mix that’s a whole other layer. Wanting to protect them and feeling like your life is tied together in a certain way it’s heavy. I don’t have all the answers but it seems like you’re being really honest with yourself whic… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 10:19 AM |
| 3 | Would you do it all over again?Three months is still fresh and it makes sense that some days feel heavier than others. It’s awesome that you had a good day today that little spark of relief matters so much even if it’s just a glimpse. The whole dating thing no rush at all. It’s okay to just sit with your own space and let yourself heal. Feeling repulsed or disconnected from that part of life doesn’t make you broken it’s just part of the process. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 10:16 AM |
| 1 | Would you do it all over again?You poured yourself into that relationship years of support, care and hope and to have it end the way it did with so many layers of confusion and betrayal must be incredibly hard. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have your hopes for family and partnership completely upended like that. It’s okay to grieve not just the relationship but also the future you thought you’d have. That doesn’t make you weak it makes you human and it’s normal to feel a mix of anger, sadness and maybe even some guilt eve… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 10:12 AM |
| 3 | Would you do it all over again?That kind of choice it’s not easy and anyone who hasn’t been in that situation probably can’t truly understand. It sounds like you did what you felt you had to do for your son and that takes a lot of courage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 10:07 AM |
| 3 | Would you do it all over again?Some people are worth every struggle like your kids and some relationships teach you lessons without being worth repeating. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 10:04 AM |
| 3 | Would you do it all over again?I love how honest you’re being there’s something so human about acknowledging that your choices would’ve been totally different without them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 07:43 AM |
| 2 | Would you do it all over again?I can feel how frustrated and hurt you must be carrying all that tension since day one. It’s clear you’ve been thinking a lot about what’s fair for you and what you can handle emotionally. I don’t have all the answers but I hear you and it makes total sense that you’d want to plan carefully before making any big moves. I hope you find some peace in all of this | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 07:37 AM |
| 7 | Would you do it all over again?Heartbreaking to realize that the love and energy you were giving so freely wasn’t being met halfway and to feel like your devotion was used without reciprocation. It makes total sense that once you started valuing yourself more the dynamic shifted and that it left you feeling both hurt and betrayed. I just want to acknowledge how brave it is to see it clearly and to name it for what it was. That clarity doesn’t erase the pain but it’s a huge step toward reclaiming your life and your sense of se… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 07:33 AM |
| 3 | Would you do it all over again?We all have parts of ourselves we’re not proud of and people we’ve hurt along the way. It’s kind of brave to acknowledge it and still try to keep the good connections in your life even if things weren’t perfect. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 07:30 AM |
| 1 | Feeling like a loser…and then…Hard not to feel the weight of it looking back especially when all you wanted was to support someone you care about. It’s unfair how the system can feel like it punishes people for trying to provide but the fact that you wanted to give so much says a lot about who you are. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/04/26 06:01 AM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageYou’re onto something there’s definitely this weird pressure to constantly want more to always feel like life isn’t enough and it does feel like it’s been manufactured in some way. It’s exhausting and honestly I can see how it affects everyone but yeah especially women in certain ways. It’s scary to think about how much of our “wants” aren’t even ours just ideas that have been sold to us over and over at the same time I hope there’s still room to find real joy in the small simple things even if … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/04/26 05:28 AM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageThe way you’re tying individual behavior to broader societal trends makes a lot of sense. It’s true that people nitpicking or holding unrealistic standards can feel exhausting and time is limited for all of us. I also see your point about relationships and family dynamics there’s definitely a lot happening that affects the bigger picture and it can feel scary thinking about long-term consequences at the same time I think it’s also worth remembering that people’s choices are complex everyone has … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 02:25 AM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageI can’t even imagine how heavy that must feel having to make or have made for you decisions about something as deep as time with your own kids. It’s such a raw painful kind of unfairness. I think what you’re feeling is valid frustration, grief, maybe even guilt but it’s also a reflection of how much you care. That love doesn’t go away even if the circumstances make it feel like it’s being split in half. I hope you get moments where you can feel your presence with them fully even if it’s not ever… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 11:58 AM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageI get the frustration in your words it’s easy to feel like modern relationships are more trouble than they’re worth sometimes. That said, I also think it’s possible to find people who bring out the best in you rather than the worst. Maybe it’s less about avoiding companionship altogether and more about being picky about who’s worth your time and energy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 11:49 AM |
| 2 | Wife cheatedFeeling drained like that can be rough it’s hard when you don’t want to lose your edge but everything inside feels heavy. I hope you can give yourself even a little space to breathe and just exist for a moment without pressure. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 11:47 AM |
| 1 | Feeling like a loser…and then…There’s a lot of pain, frustration maybe even hurt that’s been building up. I’m sure it’s complicated and I don’t want to assume anything but it just sounds lonely and raw. I hope you have someone close you can talk to who can listen without judgment. You deserve to be heard, to process all of that and to be treated with respect even if things are messy right now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 12:20 AM |
| 1 | Feeling like a loser…and then…Managing a mortgage, child support and your boys’ schedule is a lot and yet you’ve found a way to have more for yourself than ever before. That kind of balance and self-care is really powerful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 12:17 AM |
| 2 | Feeling like a loser…and then…Imagine how heavy it must feel to have carried so much responsibility for so long and now deal with the aftermath. That kind of experience can leave a lot of anger and sadness and it makes sense to feel worn out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 12:14 AM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageRelocating and thinking about the future especially with kids in mind is such a huge step. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 12:11 AM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageI can hear the care and hope in what you’re saying and it’s clear you’re coming from a really genuine place. It like there’s a lot on your mind and a lot of love in your life and I hope you find someone who matches that energy and openness. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 12:08 AM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageIt’s okay to be upfront about what you want in life including kids at the same time life is messy and people are more than just their ability to have kids or the money they might cost. Sometimes the most meaningful connections come when we let ourselves see the person behind the circumstances. It’s normal to have practical concerns but trying to balance those with empathy and respect for someone else’s humanity can make all the difference. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 12:05 AM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageThere’s something real about learning to be comfortable alone before letting someone else in. It’s a simple idea but also so hard to really live by. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 12:02 AM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageI admire the way you’ve reflected on it all and taken steps to build a life that truly feels yours. Recognizing red flags and choosing yourself over the fear of being alone that’s huge. It’s not easy and it’s something a lot of people struggle to do. I also get the hesitation around dating. There’s no rush and honestly letting it happen naturally when and if it does feels like such a healthy approach. In the meantime enjoying your friendships, hobbies and freedom sounds like exactly what you nee… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 12:00 AM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageThe way you framed it about catching yourself before things got heavier with kids and saving the second half of life it’s painfully honest but also really compassionate. It makes me think about how messy relationships can be and how sometimes stepping away even when it hurts is an act of care for yourself and others. You wrote that in a way that feels open-minded and not judgmental and I think that’s rare. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 11:58 PM |
| 1 | Wife just asked to end our marriageI respect that honesty it’s not easy to lay yourself bare like that. I get the sense that you’ve reached a place where you really value your own freedom and peace and that’s powerful. It’s rare to hear someone speak so openly about learning to enjoy their own company, finding happiness in the little things and not measuring their worth by who they’re with. That’s something a lot of people never figure out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 11:55 PM |
| 3 | Wife cheatedSounds incredibly exhausting and complicated trying to balance being a parent, protecting yourself legally and navigating all the emotional turbulence with someone you were once so close to. I hear the frustration, the sense of being manipulated and the relief that comes from feeling in control again. It makes sense that the sex blurred things that kind of intimacy after conflict can mess with your head no matter how strong you are. It also sounds like you’re trying to stay and make smart moves … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 11:45 PM |
| 2 | Wife cheatedIt’s been tough watching all this unfold and it’s easy to get stuck in the anger and frustration. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 12:30 AM |
| 1 | Wife cheatedSome days it hits harder than others but hearing someone recognize that without judgment actually helps. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 12:24 AM |
| 2 | Wife cheatedRough and really draining having to constantly navigate that dynamic. I can see why documenting everything and staying steady matters so much you’re trying to protect yourself and your role while still being present. That’s heavy but it makes sense why you’d want to stay calm and consistent. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 12:20 AM |
| 3 | Wife cheatedThat sounds unbelievably painful and confusing how someone you trusted so deeply could turn so cold. It makes sense that the next few months will feel like a storm but you’re right you will get through this. It won’t erase the pain but you will come out stronger and life will be brighter again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 12:17 AM |
| 4 | Wife cheatedYou’ve been through a really rough time and it also seems like you’ve managed to find a way to reclaim your life and feel good about yourself again. That takes a lot of strength. I get the sense there’s a mix of relief, pride and maybe still some lingering hurt in what you’re saying. That’s completely human it makes sense to feel all of that after something so intense. I think it’s great that you’re focusing on yourself and finding joy in your life even if it came out of something painful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 12:15 AM |
| 1 | Wife cheatedThe past week brought some kind of clarity for you seeing your ex in a way that made you realize how much has changed and maybe also how much you’ve grown. I can’t imagine that’s easy but I love the honesty in your perspective about divorce not as a loss but as a space where you’ve found contentment and freedom. That’s not something a lot of people can say with that kind of peace and I get what you mean about people saying “sorry” for being divorced what you’re describing is more of a quiet vict… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 12:11 AM |
| 2 | It’s better…Thanks | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/26 04:43 PM |
| 2 | It’s better…I don’t know her story and who knows what led her there but it still stings seeing someone make choices that hurt themselves at the same time it’s kind of a relief for the other side. Life’s complicated like that messy, unfair and sometimes hard to watch. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/26 09:47 AM |
| 1 | It’s better…Divorce rips you apart in ways no one really prepares you for and it’s okay to feel anger, bitterness or even hope they’re not doing great those feelings don’t make you a bad person. They just make you real. It sounds like you’re letting yourself sit with it instead of pretending it’s all sunshine and smiles and that’s brave. Give yourself time to heal and don’t rush yourself into “forgiving” or “wishing well” before you’re ready. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/26 09:38 AM |
| 0 | It’s better…I sense how much you’ve been through and it makes a lot of sense that you’d miss the structure of family but also feel relieved to be out of a situation where you had to walk on eggshells. That’s a heavy balance to live with. I really admire your clarity about what you want moving forward. Wanting someone kind, steady and warm after going through sarcasm and volatility seems completely reasonable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/26 09:34 AM |
| 1 | It’s better…You’re approaching this with a lot of compassion and self-awareness it’s not easy. I really hope the same for you too that you can find your own peace and clarity as you move forward. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/26 09:31 AM |
| 2 | It’s better…I can only imagine how heavy it must feel especially thinking about your kids and what they’re having to see. You’re doing the best you can in a messed-up situation and that matters more than you might think. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/26 09:26 AM |
| 1 | RantLife really is a bit of a slippery slope sometimes, isn’t it? I guess it’s all about knowing when to stand your ground and when it’s better to let things slide. I think picking your battles is just part of trying to stay sane and still care about what matters. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 12:05 PM |
| 2 | Wife left me… doing better but can’t stop thinking about everything so muchThe weight of what you’re going through just from reading this and it really hits how messy and painful these situations are. It sounds like you’ve been processing a lot yourself and at the same time you’re holding space for others’ suffering too it’s not easy to do both. I really appreciate the perspective you shared about your own situation. You sound self-aware and even in something that’s inherently chaotic and hurtful and the way you notice the difference in experiences the love still there… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 03:21 AM |
| 1 | RantIncredibly painful and I can’t even imagine how raw it must feel to hear something like that from someone you trusted and loved. You had every reason to expect honesty, effort and care and instead it feels like the rug was pulled out from under you. I’m really sorry you’re going through that. It makes sense that her words “I never want you to hate me” would feel hollow or even frustrating when the actions don’t line up. Loving someone isn’t just about feelings it’s about showing up, staying comm… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 01:53 AM |
| 2 | RantThe weight of what you’ve been through just in your words. I think it’s really brave to admit that there were months of pure anger and still be able to come out the other side mostly at peace. That sense of clarity that your life is better without someone who fundamentally doesn’t treat you well is huge even if it comes with little pockets of anger that pop up. That part about unexpected things still coming up hits hard. It’s like just when you start thinking you’ve closed the book life reminds … | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 01:25 AM |
| 2 | RantLife has a funny way of flipping things around, huh? You’re right if the decree doesn’t say you’re responsible then you’re not and it makes sense for her to check with her lawyer. Dealing with the IRS on your own terms with a payment plan sounds way less stressful than getting caught up in back-and-forth with her. Keeping it simple and focused on what you can control feels like the healthiest move. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 01:22 AM |
| 2 | RantKind of behavior can be really draining. It’s like they’re looking for a reaction just to make themselves feel better or justified and you end up caught in the middle. It’s tough not to take it personally but sometimes it’s more about their own struggles than anything you did. I think the hard part is figuring out how to stay calm and not get pulled into the fight while still being yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 01:20 AM |
| 2 | RantFrustrating that something as simple as dividing shared costs ends up feeling like a battle. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 01:17 AM |
| 1 | RantSometimes it’s not even about the money it’s about peace of mind just not having to wrestle with the stress or the conversation itself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 01:14 AM |
| 1 | RantHow frustrating and unfair that must be working hard doing what you’re supposed to and then feeling like it just slipped through the cracks. It makes total sense that you’d be upset. It’s crazy how the IRS and all these other debts can end up overshadowing things that really matter like your refund. I hope you can get it straightened out and that some of this weight gets lifted soon. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/26 01:12 AM |
| 1 | Should I get a divorceBecause you want to believe that caring about someone makes everything easier but sometimes it just makes the hard parts sharper and some things you just can’t compromise on without feeling it every day. I think stepping back while it’s still simple isn’t giving up it’s being honest with yourself and with them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/26 03:43 AM |
| 1 | Should I get a divorceIt’s funny how life just creeps up on you and before you know it all these responsibilities are there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/03/26 03:37 AM |
| 2 | Nobody warns you that the hardest part of divorce isn't losing her. It's not knowing who you are without the role.Life really does have a way of throwing you into the deep end sometimes and it’s brutal while you’re in it but breaking and rebuilding that’s where we really learn what we’re made of. Young you wouldn’t get it and that’s okay sometimes it takes falling apart to see how strong you actually are. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 05:46 AM |
| 2 | Nobody warns you that the hardest part of divorce isn't losing her. It's not knowing who you are without the role.Kind of comforting to remember we’re all figuring it out as we go. Some days are rough but yeah it really does get better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 12:30 AM |
| 4 | Nobody warns you that the hardest part of divorce isn't losing her. It's not knowing who you are without the role.When you realize you don’t have much anchoring you no hobbies, no friends and it’s easy to feel like you’re completely back at the beginning. That feeling of emptiness or “reset” is real and it’s okay to let yourself feel it without rushing to fix it. At the same time being at square one can be strangely freeing too. It’s like a blank canvas, messy and uncertain but also yours to shape. Even small, tiny steps trying something new just once saying hi to someone or even just exploring what you mig… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 12:28 AM |
| 9 | Nobody warns you that the hardest part of divorce isn't losing her. It's not knowing who you are without the role.Life’s a lot richer when we’re open to connection not just convenience. People women, men, anyone aren’t Uber rides or temporary fun they’re humans with stories, feelings and time and energy invested in relationships. Sure, you can have casual experiences but there’s a line between enjoying someone’s company and treating them like an object or a service. I guess what I’m saying is the deeper connections even messy or complicated are usually the ones that make us grow, laugh, cry and remember why… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 12:25 AM |
| 3 | Nobody warns you that the hardest part of divorce isn't losing her. It's not knowing who you are without the role.That hit of reality like a tsunami where suddenly you see that the world isn’t going to validate your story the way you hoped and that someone you trusted as an advocate already has a mental filing cabinet of other people’s pain like it’s routine. I can’t imagine how isolating and raw that must have felt. What really comes through is how that moment didn’t just break something it also woke something up in you the part that says, “No one else will define me. I’m my own story.” That’s such a hard … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/26 12:22 AM |
| 2 | When did you stop calling her your wife?I can’t even imagine how exhausting it must have been to suddenly take on the house like that especially while dealing with everything else in your life. It’s a lot emotionally and physically to have that kind of responsibility dropped on you and on top of being laid off. I just want to acknowledge how much effort you’ve been putting in. Spending 8–12 hours a day on top of everything else is no small thing it shows a ton of dedication and strength. It’s okay to feel frustrated, drained or even j… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/26 12:10 PM |
| 1 | When did you stop calling her your wife?Saying “ex-wife” just drags all the old stuff back up and puts you in that awkward spot where people feel like they have to respond with sympathy. “Daughter’s mother” is simple, clear and it lets you talk about your kid without all the extra baggage. It makes sense to choose language that feels calmer and more honest for you instead of words that keep reopening old wounds. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/26 12:01 PM |
| 1 | When did you stop calling her your wife?Can’t even imagine how heavy that must have been for you especially while you were dealing with health struggles on top of everything. That kind of betrayal it hits deep, shakes your sense of trust and makes you question if anyone could really be there for you. I’m really sorry you had to go through that I hear how it’s left you feeling hopeless about sharing your life with someone and that’s completely understandable. What you went through isn’t just a simple heartbreak it’s layered with trauma… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/26 11:56 AM |
| 2 | I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts.People act the way they do for all kinds of reasons upbringing, culture, insecurity, desire for connection. It’s not always about “creating a situation” or blame sometimes it’s just humans being humans, messy and contradictory. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 02:11 PM |
| -3 | I've come to the realization that marriage and divorce are all about the woman in life and in courts.I can hear a lot of anger and frustration in what you’re saying. I’m not here to argue or tell you you’re wrong but I do wonder what’s behind that feeling of “never again.” It sounds like there’s some pain or disappointment there and that’s totally human everyone carries their own experiences that shape how they see the world. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 02:10 PM |
| 1 | When did you stop calling her your wife?I think there’s something nice about just saying her name it feels personal real. At the same time “wife” is part of our story too and it doesn’t feel wrong to use it. I guess it’s just about reading the moment and being genuine, you know? | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 01:59 PM |
| 2 | When did you stop calling her your wife?A lot of people go through that shift in how they think about someone after a separation it’s like your relationship with them changes shape and the words we use follow that. Calling her your daughter’s mother feels practical and honest especially if most of your interactions are around co-parenting. It doesn’t erase what you had or the feelings you might still carry it’s just a way to navigate this new chapter while keeping the focus on your kid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 01:45 PM |
| 1 | When did you stop calling her your wife?Using different words like “wife,” “ex,” and “soon-to-be-ex” makes total sense it reflects how things are in flux and that’s human. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 01:43 PM |
| 2 | When did you stop calling her your wife?Habits like that don’t just disappear overnight especially when it comes to someone who’s been such a big part of your life. It’s completely natural to slip up sometimes it doesn’t mean you’re not moving forward it just means your history with her is still a part of you. I think it shows a lot of honesty and self-awareness that you notice it and reflect on it rather than just brushing it off. Change is messy and it’s okay for your words to lag behind your reality a bit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 01:41 PM |
| 1 | When did you stop calling her your wife?There’s a lot of weight in what you’re carrying time passing labels the in-between of it all. I get why it’s still natural to call her your wife habits like that stick especially when it’s tied to real emotion and yeah, “ex” can feel strange or even cold but maybe using it more is part of letting yourself acknowledge where things are now without erasing what was meaningful. It’s a lot to navigate almost two years and still in this limbo. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 01:39 PM |
| 2 | When did you stop calling her your wife?That’s a lot to take in and it’s completely normal to feel all sorts of things anger, sadness, disbelief. Anyone in your shoes would feel shaken. It’s rough when someone you trusted breaks that trust and it’s okay to not have all the answers or know what comes next. Just remember you don’t have to go through it alone or pretend it’s fine. Whatever you’re feeling is valid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/26 01:36 PM |
| 2 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?It’s wild how life can feel like it’s paused in the middle of something you’ve been doing for years. Fifteen years of travel so many hotels, airplanes, different cities it must’ve become a rhythm almost like a second home. Then suddenly everything just stops. I can imagine that sense of disorientation when the world switched gears so fast and now stepping back into it… it’s like meeting an old version of yourself you haven’t seen in a while. It makes sense that clients still want that in-person … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:24 PM |
| 1 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?That pain the sense of unfairness it’s real and heavy. It’s so hard when someone’s actions turn your world upside down and it makes sense to feel hurt and resentful. What you’re going through watching your life feel diminished while theirs seems untouched is deeply human and it’s not something anyone should have to face alone. I can’t fix it for you and I won’t pretend it’s easy but your feelings are valid. You’ve been wronged and acknowledging that pain is not weakness it’s part of staying hone… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:18 PM |
| 0 | Saddest Day of my LifeI can feel just how heavy everything has been on you. It sounds like you’ve been carrying so much your work, your family, your marriage and now all the pain and stress from the divorce and her illness. I can’t even imagine how exhausting it must be to pour yourself into everything and still feel like the world is crumbling around you. I’m really sorry for what you’re going through. It’s okay to feel angry, sad, frustrated all of it. You’ve worked your butt off, stayed up nights and still tried t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 04:35 AM |
| 1 | Vent/advice request?Sometimes you just need someone to remind you that it’s okay to look out for yourself and not settle. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 04:09 AM |
| 1 | Vent/advice request?Sticking to your standards and boundaries can feel lonely or even costly but it’s also freeing in a way. Respect really is binary you can’t force it and pretending it’s there just to keep the peace doesn’t work. It takes guts to make those decisions even when they’re uncomfortable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 04:08 AM |
| 1 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?Focusing on yourself and your peace is so important it’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:34 AM |
| 2 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?Some days really do suck but it’s awesome that you’ve got something to look forward to with physio. That first return to swimming will probably feel amazing like a little victory after all the hard work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:31 AM |
| 1 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?I can see how you’re noticing the little relief in each day but it also sounds heavy like there’s this mix of hope and guilt tangled together. It makes sense to feel both wanting the weight lifted but also knowing there are real people affected by it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:29 AM |
| 2 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?You’re juggling so much and just trying to keep everything moving until you can have that time with your kid again. That can’t be easy but it also shows how much you care. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:27 AM |
| 1 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?Well-deserved break! I hope the rest of your day at work goes smoothly so you can really unwind at home there’s something so special about just relaxing after being all ‘on’ with the kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:25 AM |
| 1 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?That’s gotta be a mix of tiring and kind of exciting. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible for you and that you get a few little moments that make it feel worth it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:22 AM |
| 2 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?I love how you’ve laid out the things that actually matter family, faith, love and just feeling alive in your own life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:20 AM |
| 2 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?Connections are more than just numbers or conquests. Feels important to remember that behind every face there’s a real person with feelings. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:18 AM |
| 1 | Divorce is depressing, what are you all looking forward to this week?That takes a lot of courage to admit and to really look at yourself like that. It’s clear you care about your kids and want to show up for them even while you’re working through your own stuff. I’m sure it’s not easy carrying all of that the guilt, the regret, the wanting to be better. Just remember trying and being honest about it is already huge progress. Your boys will feel that love and effort from you this weekend even if it’s messy sometimes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/26 03:15 AM |
| 2 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?It’s so easy to think that our pain is something we have to carry alone like it’s ours to bear and the world shouldn’t have to deal with it but as you said holding it in wears on us in ways we don’t even realize. I love how honest you are about the process of opening up and letting layers shed it’s brave and so human. I think it’s such a gentle reminder that reaching out even in small ways is part of healing. Therapy, journaling, talking to people who get it all those things matter even if it fe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 04:12 PM |
| 2 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?That’s an incredible amount of pain to carry and honestly just saying it out loud like this takes a lot of courage. It makes sense that all of that the losses, the blindsides, the traumas would leave you feeling undeserving but the fact that you’re confronting it really looking at it is huge. That’s not small. It’s okay that it’s going to take time. Healing rarely works on a schedule. You’re right this kind of hurt shouldn’t just keep cycling through life unexamined. Wanting to “fix yourself” is… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 10:56 AM |
| 2 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?Wild how much things can shift after that kind of commitment. Makes sense that having that extra confidence in the looks or financial side can ease some of the pressure but I also wonder how much is just the reality of two people learning to really live together. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 10:43 AM |
| 1 | My wifeIt’s brutal but holding on or waiting only drags out the pain. Focusing on your own healing even when it’s messy and slow is the only way to get through it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 04:35 AM |
| 2 | My wifeI can’t imagine how heavy all of that must’ve been but hearing your honesty and the way you’ve pushed through really hits. It’s wild how people we thought we knew can just vanish into a completely different life. Your point about keeping focus on yourself and your kid really lands sometimes that’s easier said than done but it’s so true. I really appreciate you being real about the messy parts too the stuff that’s hard to talk about but matters. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 04:33 AM |
| 1 | My wifeIt’s terrifying and heartbreaking to realize someone you trusted so deeply could act like that. Hearing you talk about the panic attacks, the spinning thoughts and the self-harm it makes me feel seen in the chaos I’m living right now. I really appreciate you sharing your experience and your advice about SSRIs and therapy. It’s hard to imagine taking care of myself when everything feels like it’s falling apart but hearing that it helped you makes me feel a little less alone in this and yes docume… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 04:27 AM |
| 1 | My wifeFocusing on something like the gym or getting proper advice makes sense | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 04:24 AM |
| 1 | My wifeHealing is messy and slow but it sounds like you’re holding on and moving through it even if just a little at a time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 04:21 AM |
| 1 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?The pattern often comes down to whether someone takes the time to reflect and grow after a failure instead of just jumping straight into the next thing. It’s kind of sad how easy it is to repeat the same mistakes without even realizing it but I also think it takes a lot of courage and honesty to look at yourself and do that inner work so the ones who do are probably the ones who have a real shot at building something lasting. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 03:12 AM |
| 2 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?You’ve been through so much and it sounds like you’ve given so much of yourself to people who really needed it. That first marriage all that care through the surgeries and illness that’s huge and it makes sense that the weight of it would take a toll. The second one sounds rough too and it’s brave of you to admit it was more about the pull than true love. What you’re doing now taking time to really heal and learn to love yourself is the most human and important thing you could do. Not everyone g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 03:09 AM |
| 2 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?It’s wild how we put so much weight on numbers and “perfection” when what really matters is connection, respect and someone who makes life feel easier and warmer. Money and looks can be nice perks but they won’t carry a marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 03:06 AM |
| 2 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?That kind of pain sticks with you. It’s rough realizing how much of yourself and your life you can feel like you’ve invested and then lost. I think the hard part is finding a balance protecting yourself but still being open to the idea that not everyone is out to take advantage. It’s okay to be cautious and it’s also okay to take time to heal before trusting again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 03:04 AM |
| 1 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?Marriage comes with all these legal layers that can make it seem less about love and more about rules. I think the system is set up to protect well someone but maybe not always the people you’d hope it would. It can be frustrating to think that something so personal has to navigate all this structure but at the same time I guess some people find security and clarity in it even if it’s messy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 03:02 AM |
| 1 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?I think part of it is that love and relationships aren’t exactly logical they’re messy, emotional and sometimes people just hope the next time will be different. Even really smart people can get caught up in the same patterns or maybe they’re chasing a kind of connection they haven’t found yet. It doesn’t make it less frustrating to watch from the outside though. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 02:59 AM |
| 1 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?Sometimes it honestly feels like the universe has a weird sense of humor throwing the same kinds of people your way. Doesn’t mean you’re a sucker it just means you’re open and willing to care and that’s rare. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 02:57 AM |
| 1 | Who Here Has Had More than One Divorce, and Why do you Think it Keeps Happening ?It’s not easy to realize how much we give our trust and even harder to take a step back and focus on ourselves. It sounds like you’re really valuing your own growth now which is honestly inspiring. It takes courage to put yourself first and work on becoming more productive and progressive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/26 02:55 AM |
| 1 | This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry againHits how complicated relationships can be especially when love and care are there but the wiring and fears of each person get in the way. I can hear the pain in what you’re saying but also the clarity and self-awareness it’s not easy to come to terms with that balance of trying not understanding at the time and ultimately realizing some things are out of your control. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 12:20 PM |
| 1 | To Every Divorced Man Who’s Still StandingThanks | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/26 12:16 PM |
| 1 | This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry againHard to face the truth about yourself like that and even harder to act on it in a way that’s actually kind to someone else. Letting go like that takes a lot of courage even if it hurts both people. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 03:39 AM |
| 1 | This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry againIt’s hard when you care about someone and don’t realize what’s not right for you until it hits. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 03:29 AM |
| 1 | This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry againIt’s so easy to lose yourself in trying to make a relationship work but at the end of the day the parts of you that make you you—your friends, your passions, your quiet little joys are the things that keep life rich and I love that you still believe in love and marriage just on your own terms. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 03:27 AM |
| 1 | This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry againIt’s kind of wild how fast social media can pull people in and sometimes it’s hard not to feel caught off guard by it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 03:25 AM |
| 2 | This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry againYou’re feeling completely blindsided and hurt not just by the choices your wife has made but by how it’s impacting your time and connection with your child. That’s a heavy load to carry especially after pouring so much into your family and still feeling like you’re losing ground. It also sounds like there’s this sense of betrayal mixed with sadness and a longing for the kind of parental presence and fairness you grew up expecting like the movies you watched but life turned out way messier than t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 03:20 AM |
| 1 | This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry againI can’t imagine what 13 years of trying your hardest to hold onto something that’s slipping away must feel like. The honesty in your words about both the love you gave and the realization that it wasn’t enough because the other person couldn’t meet you halfway is raw and really human. I also think it’s powerful that you can acknowledge the relief she felt in leaving while still seeing the years of effort, care and patience you poured in. That’s a complicated mix of grief, understanding and maybe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 03:16 AM |
| 1 | Divorced dads, have any of you opted for every other weekend with the kids?I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to juggle a demanding schedule and then have to navigate all the stress with your ex. It makes total sense that anything beyond that would feel unbearable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 02:51 AM |
| 2 | Divorced dads, have any of you opted for every other weekend with the kids?I get why you wouldn’t want to rock the boat right now with changing the amount and also how it might feel heavy paying that every month while figuring out schedules. Just trying to make it work for your kid and keep things calm shows a lot of thought and care. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 02:48 AM |
| 2 | Divorced dads, have any of you opted for every other weekend with the kids?Making a home for kids is about more than space it’s about the care, the energy, the consistency you give them. Even if your place isn’t big or fancy it sounds like they’re getting something just as important your presence, your attention, your time and being able to see them through coaching and visits sounds like such a meaningful balance. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 02:46 AM |
| 4 | Divorced dads, have any of you opted for every other weekend with the kids?I can feel how much thought and care went into every choice you made for them not just what worked for you but what felt stable and consistent for their lives. That kind of self-awareness knowing when to step back and fully be present is rare and honestly it’s beautiful. I love how you describe it not as “less involvement” but as being intentional about the kind of presence that matters most. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/26 02:44 AM |
| 1 | To Every Divorced Man Who’s Still StandingYou're welcome | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/03/26 01:25 PM |
| 1 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneYou're trying to make sense of a situation that doesn’t make sense and the pain just keeps swirling. Wanting some kind of justice or even just acknowledgment from the person who wronged you it’s so natural but it’s like chasing a shadow, right? The reality is we may never get that closure we’re craving. I think deep down we all want to believe that if we just wait long enough or hurt enough we’ll get some moment where the other person sees what they've done and we get to feel validated but the t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 11:03 PM |
| 1 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneI totally get what you mean about how leaving brought you a sense of peace and freedom it’s so often the case that sometimes being away from a situation is when we finally get clarity. The weight of a relationship like that can build up over time and you don’t even realize how heavy it is until it’s gone. Your thoughts on rebound relationships really resonate with me too. It’s tempting, right? The idea of rushing into something new to fill the gap but like you said that doesn’t always work. Some… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 02:15 PM |
| 1 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneDivorce is such a personal thing and honestly it’s hard when people feel the need to insert themselves into that space. If you're moving on then it's your life and no one else should be trying to dictate how you handle it. "None of your business" can definitely be a valid boundary in those moments but if there's still a part of you hoping for reconciliation that’s a whole different emotional landscape. It’s tough trying to balance your own feelings while being open to what someone else might wan… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 02:12 PM |
| 1 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneIt's not easy navigating these situations especially when emotions and past relationships are involved. It sounds like you're saying that unless there's a legal or formal requirement to inform someone (like an ex) about future plans you shouldn't feel obligated to. I can respect that viewpoint. At the same time I think there's always room for empathy in these situations as tricky as they can be. Communication even in tough moments can sometimes help bring closure or peace to everyone involved ev… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 02:10 PM |
| 1 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneYou're walking a tightrope when it comes to dealing with exes and relationships. You want to be open and transparent but at the same time sharing too much can just add unnecessary weight to an already complicated situation. Sometimes, we forget that we don’t owe anyone every detail of our lives especially if it only causes stress or tension. We’re all figuring things out as we go and it's okay not to have it all figured out especially when it comes to setting boundaries or deciding what’s worth … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 02:03 PM |
| 1 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneYou’re right that in the eyes of the law things like adultery don’t always have the impact people expect especially when it comes to things like custody or divorce settlements. It’s frustrating because on a human level the emotional toll of infidelity is real even if it’s not always reflected in a court decision. That said, I can’t help but think about the bigger emotional picture. The betrayal that happens in a relationship like that is more than just legal paperwork; it’s about trust, respect … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 01:59 PM |
| 2 | STBEW asked if I was hooking up with anyoneThe Gray Rock method can be a useful tool for emotionally distancing yourself from toxic situations by offering minimal reactions but it’s not easy to put into practice. It’s about protecting yourself not about trying to be perfect or anything like that. When someone "loses all rights to any insight into your life," it speaks to the deep hurt and betrayal you may feel. It sounds like you're setting boundaries in a very firm way and that can feel like a big empowering step though it might also st… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/26 01:53 PM |
| 2 | To Every Divorced Man Who’s Still StandingSo powerful when something hits you like that it means it resonated and that’s not always easy to face. We all have those moments where we need to hear something that cuts through the noise and makes us think, feel or maybe even feel a bit raw. There’s no shame in needing that kind of stuff especially when it helps you process or reflect. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 09:40 AM |
| 2 | To Every Divorced Man Who’s Still StandingTough situation to be in especially after so many years of friendship. It’s hard to understand why people pull away but sometimes life just gets in the way and other people’s fears or insecurities take over. It’s like they forget who they are when they’re caught up in the roles of being a spouse, parent or whatever. Maybe they’ll come back around when they realize it was more about their own stuff than about you. It’s pretty incredible though how you’ve found peace in all of this. You’re right b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 09:37 AM |
| 2 | To Every Divorced Man Who’s Still StandingAmazing how life can put you through the ringer but then you come out of it with a kind of strength that you didn’t even know you had. You definitely can’t control the crap that gets thrown your way but how you come out of it is all on you and it sounds like you're choosing to rise above not let it define you. That line from cream pies to no replies really hits. It’s like life throws these curveballs and sometimes the best thing you can do is laugh at it even if it’s tough. It’s all about moving… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 09:33 AM |
| 1 | To Every Divorced Man Who’s Still StandingHaving twin daughters I can only imagine how deep that bond must go. It’s heartbreaking when you realize how much time and resources could’ve been used for something positive like securing their futures. Instead it gets tied up in battles that don’t seem to make sense in the grand scheme of things. I’m really sorry you’re going through all this. It’s easy to feel lost or frustrated when everything around you seems out of your control but just know you’re doing your best and that counts for more … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 09:29 AM |
| 2 | To Every Divorced Man Who’s Still StandingYou’ve gone through a lot and come out the other side stronger more connected to yourself and to the people who matter most. Being in your best shape ever making new memories and feeling more in tune with your kids it seems like you're truly finding peace and fulfillment in a way that was hard to imagine before. I think it's rare to see someone so clear on their growth and the shift from where they were to where they’re headed. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 09:27 AM |
| 2 | To Every Divorced Man Who’s Still StandingLife can definitely feel like a mix of highs and lows and sometimes it’s easy to feel like we’ve lost a bit of momentum but the fact that you’re still excited about the future says a lot. That’s a beautiful mindset to have to stay open to who you’re becoming even when things feel a little uncertain. We’re all just trying to figure things out and I think that openness and self-reflection are what make us human. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/26 09:22 AM |
| 1 | How long did it take for the feelings to go?It’s true that time has a way of softening the edges of something painful but honestly I think everyone’s timeline is different. Some people might need that exact half-time others might take longer or even less time. It’s not just about the days or months that pass but also about how we process and make sense of what happened. I’ve found that sometimes we get so caught up in trying to move on that we forget it’s okay to take things at our own pace. Healing is messy and it’s not always linear. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 01:59 PM |
| 0 | How long did it take for the feelings to go?Two years into something so emotionally draining and with the custody trial still ahead that’s a lot for anyone. It’s okay to feel like you’re still struggling because honestly these things don’t just resolve in a neat tidy way. Life doesn’t always give us a clear timeline and the emotional rollercoaster can feel endless at times but just the fact that you're still showing up still dealing with all this and holding on is something. Even when it doesn’t feel like progress is being made you’re sti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 01:57 PM |
| 1 | How long did it take for the feelings to go?Separated for that long but with so much history and a child involved it's not like you can just walk away and move on. I can only imagine how draining and confusing it must be to still feel all those things anger, resentment, loneliness while trying to keep some kind of balance for your daughter. It’s tough to feel joy when so much of your emotional energy is caught up in trying to navigate that middle ground. Missing your old life is completely understandable a 26-year relationship has so much… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 01:54 PM |
| 2 | Separated less than a month ago and keep losing weight.That’s such a powerful journey and I can feel the honesty and the growth in your words. It sounds like you’ve really embraced the changes not just physically but emotionally too. It’s tough when you’re in that place where you know you have to shift things for yourself and it’s amazing how far you’ve come even with the challenges. Losing the weight so quickly like it was a rollercoaster but I admire your determination to take advantage of the chance to build strength. The snow removal story? That… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 03:21 AM |
| 1 | Separated less than a month ago and keep losing weight.Losing that much weight so quickly especially when it like it was tied to a lot of emotional or physical stress must have been a lot to handle. It’s wild how the body can kind of go into overdrive when we’re dealing with heavy stuff but that feeling of emptiness or things not feeling better despite the changes that’s rough. It’s like you went through all this effort but the “important things” didn’t shift the way you hoped they would. I can’t pretend to understand exactly what you’re going throu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 12:22 AM |
| 1 | Separated less than a month ago and keep losing weight.A week in and everything’s probably still so raw and uncertain. On one hand you’re processing the reality that things are ending but then there’s this shift to trying to be best friends through it all which can feel really conflicting. It’s almost like there’s a part of you that wants to hold onto the past but at the same time you're having to figure out how to let go and move forward. It’s okay to not have all the answers right now. You might be questioning if the “best friends” thing is even p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 12:20 AM |
| 2 | Separated less than a month ago and keep losing weight.That kind of news can shake everything you thought was solid and it’s a lot to process even if it wasn’t expected. It’s brave of you to be open about it even to a stranger. Divorce isn’t just about two people separating it’s like losing a whole part of your life that you thought you could rely on and that’s gotta be tough. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 12:17 AM |
| 1 | Separated less than a month ago and keep losing weight.That sudden shift the emotional rollercoaster and the way everything feels like it came out of nowhere it's such a heavy thing to go through. When someone you love just pulls away and leaves you questioning all the things you thought were real it hits deep. I can only imagine how hard it must be especially when you see how unemotional she seems in it all it just makes it feel more painful and confusing. You mentioned losing weight and crying all the time. That physical weight of the grief can fe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 12:14 AM |
| 2 | Separated less than a month ago and keep losing weight.Losing those first pounds must have felt like such a huge win but even more inspiring is how you've kept going and transformed the whole process into something that’s not just about weight but about strength and resilience in every part of your life. Gaining back 13 pounds of muscle is no small feat and it sounds like you're building something much bigger than just a physique. It’s clear you’re not just chasing numbers you’re learning about yourself and unlocking new levels of strength. It’s a r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/26 12:08 AM |
| 1 | Separated less than a month ago and keep losing weight.You've been through a lot and I'm glad to hear that you've found something that’s making a difference for you. Two weeks is a solid start and it must feel good to already be seeing some improvement in your strength. Sometimes, we find these little things that work and make us feel a bit more like ourselves again. It’s not always easy but it’s important to keep going at your own pace and listen to what your body needs. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 11:07 PM |
| 1 | Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start.You're welcome | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/26 02:45 AM |
| 2 | Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start.Even when things weren't perfect and that kind of love isn't easy to come by. It's tough when you put yourself out there being patient with someone else's flaws only to end up with disappointment in the end. You loved deeply and that's something to be proud of even if it didn't turn out the way you hoped. It’s painful when that kind of effort isn’t returned but that doesn’t diminish what you brought to the table. Relationships are complicated, people are complicated and sometimes no matter how m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 10:15 PM |
| 2 | Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start.That feeling of knowing it’s coming even if it’s never been said out loud is such a heavy weight to carry and the fact that you’re dealing with kids makes it even harder there’s just no easy way around that. It’s like you’re caught between doing what’s best for everyone and managing the pain of it all. I respect that you’re trying to make the right moves even though I’m sure every step feels uncertain. The lawyer thing is smart too. I never thought about how many consults you might need but I ca… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 10:10 PM |
| 2 | Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start.Life just has a way of pulling us in different directions but it’s also easy to get caught up in the small stuff and forget how fragile time really is. We spend so much time worrying about things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of it all. I think you’re right to remind yourself (and others) that we should be intentional about how we spend our time. Life’s too short to hold onto things that weigh us down whether it’s relationships, regrets or even self-doubt. What matters is how we move for… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 10:06 PM |
| 2 | Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start.I can’t even imagine how draining that whole experience must have been for you emotionally, financially all of it. It’s tough when things start off with an ideal of fairness and then the reality of the process turns into something so much more complicated and costly. That whole two-year battle sounds like a lot of frustration and exhaustion. I’m glad you were able to get to that 50/50 point in the end even if it took so much. That’s a win even though I’m sure it doesn’t feel like it should’ve be… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 10:04 PM |
| 1 | Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start.Mediation can definitely be a simpler and cheaper route for situations that don’t need all the legal drama. I’m not here to give the perfect answer but I just wanted to throw that idea out there. Sometimes just being open and talking things through in a less intense way can make a huge difference. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 10:01 PM |
| 2 | The Damage and Destruction of DivorceWhat you're feeling is so valid when someone makes a decision that changes the entire direction of your life especially when it’s about your family it can feel like the foundation has just cracked beneath you. It like you're doing your best to hold things together but it's a massive emotional weight. It’s frustrating when the person you care about is making choices that don't align with your values and then on top of that they try to convince you it's for the "better," even though it doesn’t fee… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 01:57 PM |
| 2 | The Damage and Destruction of DivorceHaving to be the one to break that kind of news especially when you’re dealing with so much pain yourself it's like being caught in a storm you didn’t ask for. It’s heartbreaking and I can feel the weight of your frustration in what you're saying. There’s a real sense of loss and wasted potential and it’s hard not to get lost in that when it feels like things could have been so different. The energy of all of this, the confusion, the hurt and the weight of it all could be used for so many better… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 01:49 PM |
| 2 | The Damage and Destruction of DivorceSeparation is tough especially when you’re still sharing space. It’s one of those things where time in its own weird way does start to heal those raw feelings even if it doesn’t always feel like it in the moment. A year can feel like such a long stretch when you’re in the middle of it but looking back I think you’ll see it gets easier bit by bit. I’m not going to pretend it’s easy and honestly sometimes it still stings even now but being open to change and letting yourself feel what you feel wit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 01:44 PM |
| 5 | The Damage and Destruction of DivorceA lot of us have those things on our “someday” lists that never seem to get any closer but maybe it’s not about perfection it’s about being open to what’s possible even if it feels like a stretch. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/26 01:32 PM |
| 1 | How Am I Not Supposed To Feel AngryYou're feeling a lot of frustration and disappointment about this situation. It’s hard when someone you once loved or who once loved you comes back when things aren’t working out for them. It feels like they’re only reaching out because things got tough for them not because they genuinely value what you shared. I totally get why you’d see that as selfish it feels like they’re using you as a backup when they don’t have better options and that can hurt. At the same time I wonder if some of that be… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 04:13 PM |
| 1 | How Am I Not Supposed To Feel AngryFamily dynamics are so complex and when something like that happens it’s easy to feel like it’s the end of the story but you’re right sometimes the story isn’t over and people can’t always predict how things will unfold. It like your mom went through a lot of growth and in the end she wished she could have undone what happened. That must have been tough for you to hear especially after everything. I really respect how you’ve come to a place where you can say “move on.” It’s a difficult place to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 05:54 AM |
| 2 | How Am I Not Supposed To Feel AngryAfter experiencing chaos for so long peace can almost feel unnatural at first. You get so used to the constant emotional rollercoaster that the calm feels unfamiliar maybe even unsettling. It can take time to learn how to be in that stillness to trust it. For some it’s like a constant pull toward that familiar storm there’s comfort in the chaos even if it’s draining but over time I think peace becomes something that feels like home even if it's scary at first. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 05:48 AM |
| 1 | How Am I Not Supposed To Feel AngryThat kind of situation must feel like a deep gut-wrenching betrayal and it sounds like you're wrestling with so many conflicting emotions right now anger, confusion, sadness maybe even helplessness. It’s tough when you see someone you love making choices that feel like they’re hurting everyone including themselves. The part about the kids is probably hitting hardest because as a parent you’re naturally concerned about what’s best for them and how their world is being torn apart. You’re right to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 05:44 AM |
| 1 | How Am I Not Supposed To Feel AngryDivorce can turn everything upside down and it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're in the thick of it but I think you’re right about the anger and dwelling sometimes we hold onto stuff that's out of our hands and it keeps us stuck in a place we don’t want to be. I guess the idea of letting go of the anger and letting time do its thing is so much easier said than done but hearing your perspective gives me some hope that it’s possible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 05:39 AM |
| 1 | How Am I Not Supposed To Feel AngryGrief has a way of taking you places you didn’t expect and sometimes anger feels like the only thing that makes sense. It’s like you're just standing there trying to make sense of everything and it all feels so unfair and yeah it’s better than denial for sure. At least it’s raw, it’s real even if it’s ugly. Sometimes I think we need to let ourselves feel that rage because otherwise it just stays buried and that’s harder to deal with. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 05:34 AM |
| 3 | How Am I Not Supposed To Feel AngryAnger often gets such a bad rap but it does have its place. It’s like a signal a reminder that something matters to us that something needs to change. It's true that it can spark action and give us the strength to face tough situations whether it's fighting for ourselves or for others but yeah when it festers into resentment or when we hold on to it in unhealthy ways that’s when it starts to hurt us more than it helps. I think the key thing is figuring out how to channel that anger. It's not abo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 05:28 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upYou're so welcome. I can't imagine how overwhelming it must have been to go through something so intense in such a short time especially when people around you aren’t acknowledging how hard it really is. It’s understandable that it’s left a huge mark on you and it like it was beyond anything most people would ever want to face. There’s no timeline for when to "get over it," especially when your whole world changes like that. I just want you to know that your feelings matter and you’re allowed to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 05:10 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upI can’t imagine how tough it must be to balance those feelings right now. You spent so many years together and when something that big changes it feels like everything shifts with it every song, every corner of the town it all carries that history. It makes sense that you'd feel both the weight of the past and the pull toward moving forward. It like you're being honest with yourself about it which is a huge thing in itself. It's okay to be conflicted to feel relief mixed in with the pain. The wa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 05:03 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upThat feeling of being at the bottom of the list especially when you're giving so much of yourself can cut deep. It’s tough when the person you’re closest to is so caught up in everything else that they forget to check in with you. I can see how that would make you feel like you’re just a backup plan or worse like you're invisible. It’s not just about being “last” it’s the emotional distance that creates like you’re not even seen for the things you’re doing or for you as a person outside of all t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 04:57 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upYou're welcome am woman not man | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 04:49 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upI can’t even begin to fathom everything you're dealing with right now it like an absolute nightmare that just keeps going and going. The legal stuff, the arrests, the craziness with the court it's like one thing after another and I can tell it’s taken a toll. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this but your ability to keep going and still find some semblance of peace in things like your plants and crochet with the old ladies is honestly incredible. It might sound small but those moments of ca… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 04:45 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upYou're welcome | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 04:34 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upHeartbreaking when you’ve put in so much effort and it still doesn’t work out the way you wanted. It’s like you reach a point where you know deep down that things can’t be fixed no matter how much you beg or try or hold on. That quiet understanding you mentioned it’s a heavy kind of silence, isn’t it? The kind where it’s not spoken but you both know it’s over. It’s hard to be the one who has to take the step away especially when you’ve already given so much of yourself but I think you’re right s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:44 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upA lot of weight and doing a lot of deep self-reflection and I think that’s something hard to come to terms with after the end of something that was such a big part of your life. Fifteen years together that’s a long time to spend with someone and the emotional toll of it all can leave you feeling so drained. I hear the pain in what you’re saying not just from the relationship’s end but from the fact that you feel misunderstood in how things went down. Burnout is real and I think a lot of people u… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:41 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upThe pain of seeing someone you care about become distant especially when it feels like you're trying to reach out but not getting through that’s heavy. It’s tough when you feel like you’re the one being labeled as manipulative just for trying to have an honest conversation and then to feel like your whole reality is shifted when someone you’re living with makes a choice without fully being transparent it like a real emotional rollercoaster. That moment when you finally felt lighter when she move… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:34 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upYou’ve put in a lot of emotional effort, a lot of patience and a lot of self-reflection. It’s never easy to walk away especially when you’ve tried so hard for so long. The glass of water analogy really hit me though it makes so much sense the idea of holding onto something for so long even when it’s draining you. It’s tough when things don’t play out how you hope when you're giving your all and it’s just not reciprocated. I think it’s incredibly healthy though that you're thinking about stepping… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:32 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upThat realization must’ve hit hard the moment when you see that no matter how clear or honest you are the other person just isn’t willing to meet you halfway. It’s like you’re pouring your energy into something that won’t give back. I imagine it feels pretty isolating when that happens like you’re stuck in a conversation where your thoughts and feelings don’t even register. It’s a kind of emotional exhaustion, right? When you realize that trying anymore would just be for the sake of your own peac… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:26 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upDivorce is never easy especially when it stretches out like this with lingering tension and unresolved emotions. It’s clear you tried to make it work suggesting therapy, giving it your all and yet things still didn’t turn out as you hoped. I think what stands out is how much you’ve been trying to approach it with a level head even as this situation drags on. The fact that it’s been almost three years since she filed and you’re still tied up in court must feel exhausting and frustrating. No matte… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:23 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upI get why it might seem like a turn-off when someone’s begging or pleading. It can definitely come across as weak or desperate and that’s not a good look for anyone no matter the situation but I think what might get lost in the mix is that sometimes people are just trying to express how deeply they care or feel for someone even if it comes out the wrong way. We’re all just trying to figure this whole thing out relationships, respect, emotions none of it is easy and sometimes showing vulnerabilit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:18 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upWhat you’re feeling is so real and I can’t imagine the emotional weight of trying to figure out how to heal while still holding on to that love for her. It’s so confusing, isn’t it? On one hand you know you’re better off moving on and letting things go but on the other there’s this piece of you that keeps hoping things could somehow turn around even though deep down you know it probably wouldn't end any differently. The pain of betrayal sticks with you especially when there’s a history of broken… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:14 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upYou're carrying a heavy load and I can’t imagine how exhausting that must be. Life can throw these unexpected turns at us and when you're left picking up the pieces it's easy to feel like you're stuck in limbo lost between what was and what needs to be. It’s understandable that you'd try to find some sense of peace by focusing on the kids and those small meaningful moments. Sharing those moments with your sister instead of the person you thought you'd always turn to must feel like a bittersweet … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:08 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upWhat you’re saying hits deep. I think a lot of men and people in general tend to overlook just how painful it can be to deal with the unraveling of a marriage. The emotional toll is a lot especially when kids are involved and I totally get the bit about the other person needing to make up their mind the back-and-forth, the uncertainty it's draining. The idea of “radical acceptance” is something I’ve heard more of lately and it’s intriguing. It’s tough but I can see how it can help you face somet… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:05 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upThe situation you're describing must be incredibly painful especially when someone’s heart is on the line. It's hard to let go when you care about someone and even harder when you're caught up in that space between love and loss. I think it’s natural for people to try and hold on even when they know deep down it might not work out. When you're in that kind of emotional turmoil it's tough to think clearly and sometimes it’s just the fear of change or uncertainty that keeps people pleading. It doe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 01:01 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upTen years with someone through all the highs and lows and to have it end like that especially with all the pain and confusion surrounding how it all went down it’s a lot to carry. It must feel like the rug was pulled out from under you and now you’re left trying to figure out how to stand again. That sense of betrayal from your ex not just for leaving but for not being honest with you from the start is hard to shake. It like you’ve been fighting battles for a long time with your mental health an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:58 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upTrying to make things work giving it your all and yet still coming up empty it’s heartbreaking. The idea of begging someone to just try can feel so dehumanizing like you're trying to convince them to feel something they either can’t or don’t want to and I totally get what you mean about how that can feel unattractive in a raw primal way. Relationships are delicate in that sense, right? The more you push the more it seems to slip away. I think the in-house separation part is a tough pill to swall… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:55 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upSometimes, we do the best we can and hope things will work out but it’s not always in our hands. I know from experience that it’s hard to walk away when you care about someone especially when you feel like they deserve better or that maybe you could have done more but I guess the hard truth is we can’t force someone to stay or love us the way we want them to and yeah begging or pleading just makes things more complicated it can make them feel like they’re stuck or like you’re not seeing things t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:52 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upYou've been through a painful and complex situation. It’s clear that you weren’t looking for an easy way out and that you tried to address the issues even when things weren't going the way you'd hoped. Relationships can be incredibly difficult when both people aren’t on the same page and I get how easy it can be for frustration and hurt to build up especially when one person feels unheard or rejected. I think what stands out is that you didn’t want to hurt anyone but you ended up in a tough spot… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:47 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upThe not knowing, the waiting, the hoping they’ll snap out of it — it can make you question so much especially when you're already dealing with someone who has their own struggles. It sucks when someone pulls away like that but I think it’s powerful that over time you've been able to look at it and see it as something you’re better off without. That clarity doesn’t come easy. It’s easy to want closure or to think things could’ve turned out differently but sometimes people just don’t change or gro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:44 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upIt’s hard to accept that something so important to you is slipping away and that feeling of being powerless can be unbearable. The comparison to withdrawal resonates it’s like you’re not just losing someone but a part of yourself too. The emotional highs and lows of fighting for a relationship can take a toll and I think sometimes we don’t fully realize how much it’s costing us until we’ve been through it. I hear you when you say that after a certain point you just have to stop pleading because … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:39 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upIt’s comforting to hear something that feels like it comes from a place of experience and understanding. I can relate to the idea of focusing on yourself especially when life throws challenges your way. It's hard to ignore the pressure or feel like you're constantly trying to "get it right" with someone else but it’s true that working on yourself, healing and surrounding yourself with good people is a solid foundation. It’s easy to forget that the best things come naturally when you’re just bein… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:36 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upSometimes, it’s easy to look back and feel like you lost time or that it could’ve been better spent but I think we’re all kind of learning and figuring things out along the way even in the tough frustrating months. It’s never a straight line, right? I know it can feel like a waste when things don’t turn out as planned but I think there’s growth in even those slower or more painful moments even if it doesn’t feel that way at the time. Maybe those months didn’t turn out the way you wanted but that… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:34 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upWhen someone is about to walk away from a relationship it’s so easy to get caught up in trying to find answers or reasons that make sense. It feels so much harder when they don’t just come out and say it straight up. I’m sure it’s painful to not have that clarity but maybe there’s more to it than what’s being shown on the surface. People often struggle with vulnerability and maybe they’re just trying to avoid the hurt of saying exactly how they feel. That doesn’t make it right though. We all des… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:30 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upTo get caught up in anger or hurt after something like that especially when it feels like you've been wronged but like you said it’s not always black and white. Relationships are messy and both sides can have their moments of failure or misunderstanding even if one person did something painful. I think it’s important to remember that we’re all human and none of us are perfect. Sometimes we act out of fear or insecurity or just because we don’t know any better at the time. It's easy to label some… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:27 AM |
| 2 | How many months before giving upI can only imagine how confusing and painful it must feel. To go from 25 years of knowing someone one way to suddenly seeing them through a completely different lens it’s like your whole foundation has shifted. I think it's a huge deal that you're starting to let go of the person you thought she was even though it’s heartbreaking. It takes a lot of strength to recognize when you're no longer in love with someone especially after all the time you’ve invested. It makes sense that you’re finding a … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:24 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upSometimes, it takes a lot longer than we expect to accept what’s been right in front of us the whole time. It’s easy to look back and think “I should’ve known sooner,” but emotions don’t always work on a schedule. We get wrapped up in the past and the possibility of things changing and it’s not always clear when it’s truly time to let go. That doesn’t make you weak or slow it makes you human. I think it’s okay to take time to fully process something that’s so emotionally charged. You can’t rush … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:20 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upIt’s never easy when things get so muddled especially when it’s someone you’ve spent so much time with. I can’t even imagine the emotional rollercoaster of trying to piece everything together. The confusion, the uncertainty it’s like being blindsided after all that time. Fourteen years though that’s a lifetime and it’s understandable that even if you’ve taken care of everything legally and financially that doesn’t fix the emotional side. It’s not just the end of a relationship it’s the end of a … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:17 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upSometimes it feels like people use certain things like marriage as a tool to control or manipulate and that’s just not okay. You shouldn’t have to feel trapped or pressured especially if it’s coming from someone who isn’t respecting you. It like you're speaking out of a place where you're trying to protect someone from being taken advantage of and that’s a powerful thing to want for a person. At the same time I think there’s something to be said about taking a moment to assess the situation befo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:12 AM |
| 1 | How many months before giving upI think sometimes we get stuck in situations because we’re afraid of the unknown or maybe we don’t feel like we deserve better but honestly you’re right no one should have to beg for respect or love or appreciation. Life’s too short to stay where you’re not valued even if it’s comfortable in the moment. I’ve been there too. Feeling like I’m supposed to stay because it’s familiar or because I don’t want to rock the boat but when you finally step away from what doesn’t serve you it’s like you can … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/26 12:10 AM |
| 1 | Divorce and DestructionThat combination of fear, uncertainty and just survival it’s intense. Living like that scraping by on bologna sandwiches and still keeping your head above water? That takes so much grit but I love how you also found the silver lining the part where you got to rediscover yourself and try things you hadn’t in years. That honesty about both the pain and the unexpected growth is powerful. Divorce is brutal in a way that’s not just legal or financial it shakes who you are at your core and it like you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 05:02 PM |
| 1 | Divorce and DestructionThere’s something bittersweet about closing a book you carry everything it gave you, the thoughts, the feelings, the small pieces of yourself it reflected back but at the same time there’s a kind of relief in knowing the story has run its course. Putting it on the shelf feels like honoring it saying “thank you” in its own quiet way and then letting yourself be curious again ready for the next thing to pull you in. It’s like life in miniature endings and beginnings and the gentle reminder that we… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 04:43 PM |
| 1 | Divorce and DestructionI can’t even imagine what it must have been like going through all of that after so many years together. The way you describe it “death by 1000 cuts” It sounds unbearably painful but also really honest. I love how you talk about taking ownership of your own healing even in the midst of all that betrayal and heartbreak. Focusing on yourself, your health, your finances it’s such a real way to rebuild when everything else feels like it’s falling apart and the way you describe those little victories… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 08:39 AM |
| 1 | Divorce and DestructionSomething strange and nice about having a person in your life whose whole job is just to listen someone who doesn’t care about your day-to-day, who won’t bring anything back into the real world and can hold all the messy stuff for an hour. It’s kind of a relief, honestly to know that rambling is allowed and that it won’t break anything. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 08:35 AM |
| 1 | Divorce and DestructionIt’s brave to talk about the disbelief, grief and all the messy emotions that come with a split especially when it’s still happening in real time and under the same roof. What hit me was what you said about identity and feeling like a failure. I think so many of us underestimate just how disorienting that part is. Losing a role you’ve carried for years it’s not just practical it’s emotional and it leaves a kind of emptiness that’s hard to explain. I like that you framed it as normal and typical … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 08:33 AM |
| 1 | Divorce and DestructionFeel the weight of what you went through the years of tension, the financial stress, the clutter, the constant friction and then the relief of finally stepping out and taking control of your life. The way you describe it, it’s like a whole world opened up once you could just breathe and live on your own terms. There’s something human in what you’re saying it’s not just about downsizing your space or your expenses it’s about reclaiming your peace, your time, your energy. I love that you talk abou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 08:27 AM |
| 1 | Divorce and DestructionYou’ve carried a lot of weight anger, regret, frustration and just saying it out loud like that takes guts. I can feel how heavy it must’ve been and yet how much clarity you’ve gained by reflecting on it. That part about projecting the woman you loved onto someone else that’s so real. I think a lot of people go through that without ever admitting it and it makes moving on so much harder and the truth about being mad at yourself more than her man that’s painfully human. It’s the kind of thing tha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 08:23 AM |
| 1 | Divorce and DestructionLife does get simpler in a lot of ways less arguing, fewer compromises, more freedom with your own money and time. That part feels good really good sometimes but there’s also this weird emptiness that sneaks in. You realize you’re doing everything alone now even the little stuff that used to feel normal or comforting with someone else around. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/26 08:21 AM |
| 1 | My wife is divorcing me.You're welcome | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 05:42 AM |
| 2 | My wife is divorcing me.It’s raw and real and it like you’ve been doing a lot of hard internal work to get to this point. I hear the mix of pain, clarity and exhaustion in your words. That “robot mode” advice it’s so pragmatic almost cold but I get it, it’s not about being cruel, it’s about protecting yourself, your heart, your energy after what like a draining codependent dynamic. That takes a lot of self-awareness. I also love that you added the part about “privately coming apart” therapy, reading, sunlight, being al… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 02:14 AM |
| 4 | My wife is divorcing me.Twenty years and then everything changes in a week it’s brutal and it’s not fair but I hear the fight in you the part that’s saying “We’ll get through this somehow,” and that counts for something. Just take it one day at a time and know it’s okay to feel lost, angry, sad all of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 02:09 AM |
| 2 | My wife is divorcing me.Honestly, it’s hard to even know where to start and hearing it laid out like that makes it feel a little less impossible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 02:07 AM |
| 5 | My wife is divorcing me.when you put yourself out there hoping for some kind of connection or breakthrough and the other person is just gone emotionally. You’re left carrying all the weight while they’re checked out and then to have the counselor side with you? I can see why that would just feel like salt in the wound. It’s hard not to feel like all that time, all those sessions were wasted but at the same time the fact that you showed up, that you tried, that you spoke your truth that matters. It’s just people don’t a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 02:02 AM |
| 3 | Teenage son being bullied by his mom's arrogant boyfriend.Hard to wrap your head around how someone who’s supposed to protect their child can stay silent in the face of that kind of cruelty. Yeah, like you said maybe she’s scared or dependent or blinded by love but it doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking or infuriating to watch. It makes your blood boil because it’s human to want to protect those we love to step in when someone’s being hurt and the fact that you feel that so strongly shows what a caring, empathetic person you are. Sometimes all we ca… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/26 01:26 AM |
| 1 | When did it feel right to start dating & having sex again?Opening up about things like this especially when they’ve been weighing on you for so long. I get what you mean about feeling like you’ve lost more than just a relationship when things go sideways like that it feels like a lot of pieces of your life get scrambled. It’s hard not to let that shape the way you see yourself or how you trust people in the future. You're right though. There’s no timeline for when we should be "ready" for anything whether it’s dating or moving forward. You can’t force … | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 12:56 AM |
| 1 | When did it feel right to start dating & having sex again?I know it might not be the easiest thing to do but I admire the clarity you’re offering. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 12:53 AM |
| 2 | When did it feel right to start dating & having sex again?Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in the idea of someone being “the one” or thinking you need to chase that perfect connection but reality’s a lot messier than that, right? People are complex and not everyone’s going to be a good match no matter how much you click on paper. I’ve definitely learned the hard way that you can’t put anyone on a pedestal and sometimes you gotta look past the “fairytale” idea of love to actually see if someone’s a good fit for you. It’s kind of like you said dating is a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 12:51 AM |
| 2 | When did it feel right to start dating & having sex again?This constant pressure to figure everything out but maybe the truth is we don’t always have to have it all mapped out. Readiness isn’t some checklist it’s more about where we’re at in the moment. Some days, we’re feeling it other days we’re not and that’s okay. It’s hard sometimes though to give yourself permission to just be and not worry about labels or where things are headed. You’re right, just enjoying yourself without any expectations or labels is probably the healthiest approach. It’s not… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 12:47 AM |
| 1 | When did it feel right to start dating & having sex again?Let past experiences color everything and hold you back but I like what you said about not rushing into anything and doing it when it feels right. I think sometimes we’re in such a hurry to “move on” that we forget to take care of ourselves first. Your story is encouraging it's a reminder that the best things can come after a rough start and that we don't have to settle or feel rushed. I guess it’s just about finding the right person but more importantly about being the right person for yourself… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 12:46 AM |
| 1 | When did it feel right to start dating & having sex again?Crazy how time on your own can feel like both a blessing and a challenge. I think about it sometimes how much pressure we put on ourselves to be in a relationship or to find someone who fits perfectly but maybe there's something important about learning yourself during the time you spend alone. It’s like you're building the foundation of who you are so that when the right person does come along you can give them something real. There’s also something beautiful about the idea of loving someone ev… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 12:43 AM |
| 1 | When did it feel right to start dating & having sex again?Holding it together in a way that’s not easy avoiding temptation staying true to your own values while still wrestling with that quiet longing to feel wanted again. I can only imagine how disappointing it must be to see her move on so quickly especially after you’ve been trying to process things in a healthy way. It’s like you did the work put in the patience and then you’re met with something that feels completely unfair. It’s tough man. It’s tough. The desire for connection, for someone to rec… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 12:40 AM |
| 2 | When did it feel right to start dating & having sex again?Every time you let yourself feel something real it cuts deeper and you start to wonder if it's ever going to get easier but the fact that you keep stepping back in even when it hurts like hell that says a lot about you. It’s not about being perfect or smooth sailing it’s about showing up even when it feels like you’re just breaking. I think sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit for just continuing to try for not letting everything fall apart even when it feels like it might. So, no it’… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 12:35 AM |
| 1 | When did it feel right to start dating & having sex again?Sometimes, you can’t rush the process it just hits when it’s meant to. It’s like trying to catch lightning in a bottle you can’t force it and that’s actually what makes it so special when it does happen. There’s no timeline for these things and I think that’s a good thing. Being in tune with when the moment feels right is way more authentic than pushing through just because you feel like you have to. I think we all have moments when we’re not quite ready or don’t have the words and that’s okay. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 12:32 AM |
| 1 | When did it feel right to start dating & having sex again?You’re right when you step back into the world of intimacy after being away from it for so long it can feel overwhelming. It’s not just about the physical aspect but also the emotional weight that comes with it. There’s something raw and powerful about rediscovering those parts of yourself and I guess there’s a bit of fear mixed in there too of getting swept up in something that feels new and intense. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/26 12:30 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?One minute you’re fine and then something triggers it and suddenly you’re deep in that hole again. It’s exhausting but I think what’s powerful about what you're describing is how you don’t let it control you. Like, you feel it but you don’t stay there. You manage to step back even just a little bit and say “Okay, this is where I’m at but I’m not staying here.” That takes a lot of inner strength even when it doesn’t feel like it. I love how you mention “willpower” too. I think sometimes we forget… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 01:50 PM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Not easy to get to that point where you realize how much you’ve grown or how far you’ve come. It’s like one moment you’re stuck in your own head and then you wake up and things are just different. Maybe even better or at least clearer. I think those shifts are often quiet almost sneaky until they hit you all at once. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 11:11 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?So interesting how our brains work like that holding onto those familiar things or places even when we know deep down that the world around us has moved on. It’s like we have this hope that somehow we can pick up right where we left off like time hasn’t passed for us. I think that’s a pretty human thing though wanting to feel rooted and connected even when everything feels different but yeah I think you’re right. The healing process can be strange, unpredictable and sometimes almost like you're … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 11:09 AM |
| 1 | Where have you traveled alone?Amazing how certain places and experiences can just align with people’s paths like that. I think it takes a lot of heart to bond over something as deep and raw as what you’ve both been through. Washington’s got that quiet way of pulling people together too something about the mountains and the coast like they just get it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 11:02 AM |
| 0 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?That tattoo it’s not just ink on skin it’s a symbol of a moment a chapter in your life and wanting to cover it up makes so much sense if you're ready to move on but I get the hesitation about how she might react. It’s a tough call especially with everything you’re navigating right now. A part of you is probably thinking “I need to move on, but I don’t want to make it harder or more complicated than it already is.” The whole divorce thing is already heavy and adding something like that into the m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 01:14 AM |
| 1 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?What struck me is how you were able to take something as simple as a cheap steak, bad beer and a mediocre game and turn it into a celebration of freedom. It wasn’t about the quality of what you had but about the space you created for yourself. The fact that you didn’t let the outside noise invade that moment even when things weren’t perfect says a lot about your strength. You weren’t clinging to the past, the grief or any of the chaos. You were just present and that’s a huge thing in itself. It … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 01:08 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Sometimes, it takes a while for everything to fully sink in and by the time it does it feels like a wave hitting all at once. You’re not alone in that grief can be tricky and we can’t always control when or how it shows up. It’s okay to process it however it comes even if it takes longer than you expect. Honestly, you’re not a slow learner at all you’re just giving yourself the time and space you need to feel it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 01:04 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?That’s such an incredible place to be when the heavy emotions have been dealt with and you can just start focusing on what’s next. It’s inspiring to hear you speak so positively about your future. There’s something beautiful in the idea of moving on and celebrating who you’re becoming not just the end of something but the beginning of something new. You deserve to feel more joy and freedom in this next chapter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:59 AM |
| 1 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?It’s respectful and it shows you're taking the time to understand your emotions without jumping into anything you’re not ready for. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:57 AM |
| 1 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?It’s hard when someone uses something like that to keep you tied down especially when you're just trying to move on with your life but it’s cool to hear that you finally got that freedom when it was all over. Signing up for your motorcycle license like a pretty symbolic way to reclaim your independence and do something just for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:55 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Losing someone you were so close to especially after everything must be incredibly hard. It like you two had a deep connection even after the divorce and to have that suddenly taken away especially in such an unexpected way must feel impossible to process. I can’t imagine what that’s like but I do know that grief doesn’t follow any rules. It’s not linear it doesn’t go away on a timeline and there’s no "right" way to handle it. What you’re feeling missing her even after everything makes total sen… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:53 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?You have to step into this new chapter even when you’re not entirely sure what the next page looks like. The weight of finality is real though it’s not just about closing a door it’s about facing all the emotions that come with it the things you thought you were certain about and then realizing you have to carve out a new path alone but it’s also kind of freeing in a way if you can get past that initial sting. It’s funny how you can spend so much time giving someone else the power to shape your … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:51 AM |
| 1 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Grief can be so heavy and confusing like it pulls at you when you least expect it and you don’t even know how to deal with it half the time. It’s like this constant weight but also something that keeps you connected to what you’ve lost. It's strange because it doesn’t just go away and there’s no clear path through it. Sometimes, it feels like you're making progress and other times it feels like you're right back where you started but I think that’s part of being human. We don’t have all the answ… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:47 AM |
| 3 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Pretty powerful that you went straight to the music store afterward. It like you’re reclaiming parts of yourself that maybe got lost in the shuffle. Sometimes, moments like these can feel like a strange mix of freedom and grief but it’s awesome that you’re finding a way to reconnect with something meaningful to you. Guitars have this way of speaking to us when words fall short, don’t they? I hope you find not just a guitar but a little peace and maybe even a bit of joy in rediscovering what you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:45 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?That feeling of letting everything out all at once when you’ve been holding it in for so long can be so overwhelming. It like you’ve been through it. Grieving isn’t a neat process it’s messy and unpredictable and it can feel like everything hits you in waves with all kinds of emotions coming up even the ones you didn’t expect. It’s amazing that you had the strength to not stay stuck in that place. I think a lot of people can easily fall into that spiral of self-pity when things get tough but the… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:42 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Operating a ham radio for a Parks on the Air event must have been such a unique way to connect with people while being out in nature and near a courthouse, too? That adds a cool little twist of history and community vibe to the whole thing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:38 AM |
| 2 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Getting out of the city, getting on your bike and just following the road until it leads you somewhere quiet and beautiful. Hiking up to a peak with the world all around you and then just sitting with your book it’s like you’re recharging in the most real peaceful way and finishing it with a brewery? Just feels like the perfect way to celebrate the whole experience. It’s rare to hear someone so fully embrace the moments that make life feel alive like that. I love how you took the time to step ba… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:34 AM |
| 1 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?Going through a divorce can feel like a rollercoaster you're grieving something you didn’t necessarily want to end but at the same time there’s this strange sense of relief that maybe it’s just the right move for you even if it’s hard to admit. You’re not alone in that feeling; a lot of people go through the same mix of emotions like it’s an ending and a new beginning at the same time. I think what stands out is your honesty. It’s not easy to accept something like that especially when you still … | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:32 AM |
| 1 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?There’s something so powerful about those moments when you finally release something that’s been holding you back. It’s like the world suddenly feels a little lighter even if just for a moment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:29 AM |
| 1 | When the divorce was done, what did you do ?The weight of everything you’ve been through the constant balancing act of protecting yourself, your kids, your mental health and still trying to show up as a partner. It like it took everything you had and I imagine it was exhausting both physically and emotionally. The Bell’s Palsy especially is a raw reminder of just how much stress can manifest in the body. That’s no small thing. I think what stands out most to me is the way you handled a situation that clearly wasn’t ideal living with her f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:27 AM |
| 0 | Where have you traveled alone?Portland seems to be more than just a destination for you it’s like a place that’s helped shape you piece by piece as you’ve worked your way toward something bigger. I can imagine that each trip brought something new whether it was reuniting with old friends experiencing live music or just being in a city that resonates with you. There’s something powerful about letting those small seemingly simple moments build up to something bigger than you expected. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/26 12:05 AM |
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