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ShaunyP_OKC Archive

View 1 post and 370 comments by ShaunyP_OKC on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

ShaunyP_OKC/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 01:30 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

They're all mostly the same type of woman.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/26 05:53 PM
2

Same here man. Mine was a cheater. For the life of me she could never figure out how rent houses work though. 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 02:46 PM
1

Funny
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 02:45 PM
0

100% I used to bang a urologist and she was a complete slut. It was fun but never serious.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 02:45 PM
1

CFO cheater pos
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 02:44 PM
12

Women are primarily more concerned about appearances and the story in their head than they do about you. Most of these women usually are low commitment or inauthentic from day one, but they'll always make it your fault so they can feel better about themselves. This is how women cope with guilt and shame. Many of these women are also probably cheating and think they're protecting your feelings by doing it this way as well. Ultimately walkaway wives are capable of massive deception like no one els…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/26 02:23 PM
13

Because you have self esteem issues that likely go back to childhood. I don't know what happened in your relationship, but divorced women are absolute masters at image manipulation and inflating their perceived value and happiness for maximum damage to your psyche. It's just your mind beating up on you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/26 10:26 PM
1

No. But we should be when they're awful.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/26 03:41 AM
2

I was confused because you said "no" to this question.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 07:36 PM
3

Your spouse is stalling. This is textbook avoidant wife behavior. You will be much happier long term, though it won't seem like that at first.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 07:35 PM
3

I guarantee you if his wife went into the divorce women support group and said this she'd be patted on the back. Obviously the guy isn't happy and staying isn't really good for either of them.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 02:45 PM
3

The answer is yes, but you're gonna be attacked as a man if you say that out loud. Make up something else. Only women are allowed to blow up a marriage based on their feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 02:44 PM
2

You probably won't ever feel the same and that's not actually a bad thing.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 05:40 PM
2

It's really overrated man. Take it from me. Eventually they all look and feel the same. A solid marriage trumps novelty sex any day.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 12:16 PM
1

Sure.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 12:15 PM
1

I could but I'm 45 and likely sterile because of TRT. Every young chick I meet wants me to make them a trad wife too and it feels really slimey and transactional.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 12:14 PM
2

I'm always amazed how many people focus on their kids in the aftermath. For those of us with no kids who went through this what's the advice then?
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 03:11 PM
1

Did you cheat and leave her for the other woman? It sounds like you did. My guess is you regret that it didn't work out with the other chick and not really that you lost your ex wife. If some Instagram chick could convince you to blow your marriage up then you were probably low commitment and low interest anyways. Reflect on your choices and become a better dude, but leave your ex alone. She deserves to be with someone who really wants her and that's not you, unfortunately.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 02:15 PM
8

You're only fucked if you bend over and invite her to fuck you. Until then it's only a theory. Remember that
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 01:35 PM
2

3.5 years and I still have days where I could go postal. There's no shame in still being angry. Accept it and don't judge yourself. All of your anger and rage is valid.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 06:21 PM
2

I know this feels completely true right now based on where you're at and I don't blame you. What was done to you was fucked up and you have to very right to feel this way. But it won't last forever.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 01:50 PM
17

Welcome. I will never turn my back on a woman that is open to our views and isn't too proud to admit mistakes. Never.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 10:08 PM
3

You're leaving out a lot of useful information here. Why is he asking for a divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 03:41 PM
1

Does she want to work it out? You can't make her love you or work it out if she doesn't want to. A 2 year separation just seems like you both are just avoiding the obvious to me.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 01:19 PM
2

If she was a cheater then she's just trying to keep you hanging on until the other dude commits or she finds a better option. You're playing with fire. Rejecting her will bring the real her out.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 06:30 PM
1

So yes she was then.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 05:12 PM
3

Once she's gone the benefits are everywhere, especially if she sucked.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 05:12 PM
2

Do you have a cheater wife? That's a telltale sign also.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 07:31 PM
4

Now that you're aware of it you can manage and mitigate it. Document everything.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 04:16 PM
25

You have to understand that reputation sabotage and image management is a hallmark of abusive women.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 04:10 PM
1

Reincarnation or massive memory loss. I can forgive her for what she's done, but I could never forget. Forever tainted to me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 04:14 AM
1

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 04:14 AM
3

I wish I could go back in time and dump her. The only regret I have is the time I wasted and the romantic delusion I had that kept me stuck. People get divorced for a reason I feel. Ask yourself if your regret is actually just fear of something new.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 09:40 PM
5

I screwed a lot of women and my dog helps.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 03:55 PM
3

If you're on here asking us then I'd say you're done, but need our permission. Your kids are so young I doubt it will be that traumatizing in the long run. The older they get the worse that will be. Pull the trigger.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 03:53 PM
5

"Immediately started dating"
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 03:50 PM
5

Women who cheat always usually are like this. The goal is to screw with your reality and make you react so then that becomes the problem and not her actual behavior,
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 10:44 PM
3

Because she was just faking the sweet loving and giving part?
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 10:43 PM
2

No it just seems so blatantly over the top that it seems unbelievable.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 10:38 PM
3

Is this for real?
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 01:24 PM
1

Leave. Your kids are young enough it won't be that traumatic and your wife kind of sounds like an unremorseful prick. You can't build a life with someone who isn't all in and it's not worth even trying.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 12:27 AM
1

That's a person with a major personality disorder or issue. What kind of a person does this like it's nothing? Your story and mine are a lot similar, but you have to let go of the fantasy life you imagined together. That's really what sucks--the identity of who you were and what it meant deep down. It was meaning and purpose and it's really fucking hard to rebuild that I'll concur, but that is your only path out of suffering.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 12:25 AM
1

Stop focusing on all the good times and push yourself to remember how awful she actually was. Ain't no way in hell she was as perfect as the image you're still holding onto.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 12:20 PM
1

Lol. It's that easy. Just move on. Sheesh.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 12:19 PM
2

Meh. They all do it. You think there's any sympathy for us over on the women's thread?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/26 05:54 PM
2

Good luck. You're gonna be angry for a long long time and you need to allow that to happen without judging yourself or pushing it out onto the world. I know how hard it is, but it's one of the hardest things to overcome.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 01:41 PM
3

I would encourage to reframe how you think about power. On the one hand you said "she is weak and terrible at confrontation so I know I have the psychological advantage and I use it to my full effect." Is this really true if you're taking out your internal emotions on her? I say this as someone who used to do exactly what you did, but the truth is she has the psychological advantage. The more reactionary you are the more easy you will be to manipulate, because that guilt and shame spiral you fee…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 01:19 PM
1

Yes but already married.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 08:25 PM
1

She can buy them.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 08:24 PM
1

You don't need to pander to them. They certainly aren't coming here and doing it for us.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:44 PM
2

I hear the same about my ex. I thought she was pretty too, but I easily pull way hotter women now that are light years better in every way than her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:41 PM
5

Booty>boobs
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:40 PM
10

Me. My ex was a tall blond and pretty, but skinny body with no ass and tits. Now I'm dating a Tanzanian chick with a fat ass, huge tits, and no waist. I get hard just looking at her and she likes to have sex way more often than my ex, who was also a cheating POS. What else makes her amazing is that she's calm and nice. My ex was a pouty drama queen with unpredictable mood swings. I upgraded in every damn way.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 02:39 PM
9

Dating apps, but you're too young. Lots of older chicks might bang you, if you can handle their libidos. Chicks in their late 30's and 40's after divorce are the biggest whores on the planet I don't care what anyone says. If you're decent looking and in shape you can be broke and bang lots of these women. Of course they'll pretend like they're not that type of girl but it's a lie. They are! They all are!
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 04:37 PM
2

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 04:37 PM
2

The sad reality is if he's actually nice and remorseful she'll probably crush him even harder. She ain't going to be nice regardless of what he does. She sounds terrible and he's gonna get crushed. Should have ran off with one of them like a proper cheating wife would have. Remorse is something only men do.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 05:17 PM
3

He's mostly just regurgitating online tropes, some of which are kind of true in a general way.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 05:29 PM
2

Yeah it's hard when you don't have kids with them.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 02:41 AM
3

She's completely trying to get to you mentally and emotionally. She is not confused. It is intentional. Don't be so naive. Your ex-wife is a cruel person and you need to grow a spine and stop letting her screw with your head. In a counterintuitive way you're only validating her decision to leave by letting her continue to mess with you. If you do not put a stop to this it's no telling how low she will take you emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 01:59 PM
6

You don't really forget. You just learn to stop letting her fuck with your head. You have the power to change it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 10:00 PM
3

I'd ask an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 06:41 PM
1

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 06:37 PM
1

Just take it slow and be mindful of what thoughts and feelings come up inside of you. Don't ignore your gut. Refine it and double check with actual data.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 06:14 PM
2

These are all subjective and relate to feelings within them, which means it's still on them.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 10:11 PM
2

Only correct answer.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 10:10 PM
18

Whatever bs was going on within her. Too much of their bullshit gets pinned on us to the point that everyone acts as if women aren't also human beings with problems and issues.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 10:09 PM
6

Yes. Do what you feel, but I guarantee you no one is going to care. They're just going to label you the bitter angry ex, which she's probably already spent months laying the groundwork for in secret. You are outgunned and outfoxed at every angle. The best revenge is to go completely silent and dark and accept that you're going to be made the villian. People just don't really care.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 09:42 PM
7

Don't hate that it took you so long. Be happy you finally realized it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 03:12 PM
33

I don't know who taught us dudes to be such martyrs in our marriages, but it's one of our worst mistakes we make. Stop being a nice guy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 02:09 PM
5

I'm a little over 3 years out. I'm mostly happy and wouldn't change anything, but there's definitely still some bad mood days. I think my situation was an extreme one though, so it was always going to he harder.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 11:43 PM
1

They're worthless pos' that we tolerate and love and teach us profound lessons about relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 05:21 PM
1

I'm very proud of you, but watch out for the anger stage. For me it was brutal because I felt the same way and was kicking myself for not pulling the trigger on divorce years before. I told myself a man doesn't give up blah blah blah. But my wife sucked on an epic level and I repressed it. The anger upon realizing this was overwhelming.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 05:16 PM
1

I agree but you can't do anything about the rules of the game. You can only learn to play it better.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 03:39 PM
2

I hate to say it and I'm not piling on to your grief, but I could already tell where your story was going to end after the first paragraph. Stop rescuing broken women and I'm mostly saying this to any man. They're broken and with the guys they're with for a reason.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 01:05 AM
3

You really want to get under her skin? Stop caring what she does and start doing whatever the hell it is you want to do. You don't have to be the bigger person and sacrifice yourself on the altar of keeping the peace.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 12:48 AM
2

Accurate take.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 12:46 AM
7

I make 6 figures and am super handy around the house far beyond most men and guess what: I still got cheated on and left for the other guy. Stop taking responsibility for their dysfunction. They're one woman and a really crappy woman at that. That's really all there is to learn. Sometimes the obviously simple argument is the right one. She just sucked.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 11:49 PM
2

It's still fun.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 07:33 PM
3

Be healthy with your sex drive. Don't shame yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 07:32 PM
1

This is mild compared to my ex. It's not true that all women are sugar and spice and everything nice.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 11:43 PM
1

This literal same thing happened to me too.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 09:53 PM
1

🥰😘
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 02:51 AM
1

Well maybe you should?
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 02:51 AM
3

Guilty
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 04:24 PM
1

Well you have a terrible picker then.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 02:39 PM
1

Who said any of that? Go home you're drunk.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 02:38 PM
1

You're just mad because I won't sleep with you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 02:37 PM
1

Women you know and saw on tv?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 05:19 PM
1

Nothing. Why are you calling me honey?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 05:19 PM
1

What dynamic? Most people aren't in that type of relationship dynamic. Not all women are greedy selfish pricks, though it might seem that way based on your experience.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 05:18 PM
1

I'm not playing both side of the fence. I'm trying to help. You're just throwing shame at him. It's one thing to say you're watching bad content (I said) versus he's a misogynist and there's a reason he's probably divorced (You said) You're making character judgements about him as a person, while I'm identifying behaviors that are leading to his mindset without judging him as a person. This isn't that hard to understand.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 05:16 PM
1

You gotta stop this. Your anger is valid, but your conclusions are not.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 02:53 AM
1

Men don't get divorced because they're misogynistic. They get screwed over in divorce and become misogynistic as a short term adaptation to feel safe. Women do the same thing. I don't know why you feel the need to act so morally superior. Maybe you should find another thread?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 02:52 AM
1

Guarded then gradually becoming intentional.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 01:20 AM
2

Videos of women embarrassing themselves and being terrible humans or bald bearded men telling you why you should be high value or whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:48 AM
1

How did you come to this conclusion?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:46 AM
1

You're watching way too much bad content. I can already tell by how you talk.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:05 AM
1

If your ex wife was a cheater then that perspective is valid and eventually go away. If she wasn't then I'm curious as to why you think that way. Are you watching too much angry content?
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:04 AM
3

One can only dream
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 11:49 PM
14

Ok. You win. I'm gonna go over to the divorce women subreddit and start pouting now too.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 10:14 PM
29

A couple of things: Women can be capable of significant deception and will say anything and everything to maintain the image of themselves as a good person, while quietly sabotaging the relationship and screwing with your subconscious. Also that you as a man will sense this and know this, but doubt yourself because nobody told you they would ever do something like this and aren't capable of it. Women are taught to respect themselves and men are taught to respect women. If anything it taught me t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 08:50 PM
3

I know exactly how you feel and it's all valid. What do you want to do now though?
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:43 PM
7

Never answer this and simply say it's none of your business. The end.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 03:55 AM
3

No need to beat yourself up. You're gonna do it again with someone different and that's ok.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 10:32 PM
1

You can take responsibility for your choices and what you tolerated, etc and why. But your ex has her own choices and behavior to account for. Be careful about failing into the self-loathing and self-blame pit of despair. This is a giant pit fall for many of us.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 06:28 PM
3

Unless you cheated or abused her you need to lighten up on the self blame and regret. It takes two people. Go over and look at the divorce women thread if you want some cold water thrown on you. Those women aren't blaming themselves at all.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 09:11 PM
2

You actually have an advantage being childless.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 08:28 PM
1

Yes. I did it and screwed a lot of people. I do not recommend it. It's probably telling you something else. Was your divorce traumatic or based on an affair?
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 04:53 PM
11

Women will do whatever society and you allow them to do. Society allows women to make it the man's fault and protects them from consequences. It sucks but it's kind of the truth that's really hard to accept.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 06:01 PM
1

Hold your ground on what you want. Don't be nice thinking it will be reciprocated because it will not. She will only interpret it as weakness.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 04:05 PM
2

Take your focus off here and don't fuel her anger. It's hard to do and she's gonna throw shit at you to provoke you, but you gotta let it slide off of you and give her zero energy
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 08:32 PM
3

It sucks. I wish I could tell you what to do to make it all better, but my advice would be to accept it and grieve as quickly as you can and just take the pain fast and early.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 03:16 PM
2

Looking to a machine to validate you is probably a bad idea because they're designed to keep you engaged.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 04:07 PM
2

This is a great take and great advice.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 04:05 PM
2

It was nice for awhile, but then they all look and seem the same after awhile and it becomes just like gooning but with a person.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:16 AM
2

I just banged an astronomical amount of women on the apps. (I later learned I'm considered a Chad, having never heard that term) Then my dog died and my whole world collapsed. I held my career together barely, but I burned alot of dopamine and money because I was in denial.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:10 AM
1

Doesn't stop the diseases though.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:08 AM
2

I used to live in Washington state, so I like the pacific nw. My buddy out there went through the same shit I did so we bonded that way and it just worked out like it did.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 12:20 AM
2

I travelled to a lot of cities here in the states to see old friends and concerts, mostly Portland, Oregon. That's how I've slowly worked myself up to something bigger.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 11:11 PM
7

Damn. You love to see it though.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 11:05 PM
6

I screwed everything in sight and then crashed and burned. I do not recommend it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 11:04 PM
1

I wished I would have taken more time to divorce like you did. No kids and it all happened so fast I just fucking snapped. She basically ghosted our marriage within 24hours of DDay and moved in with the guy without remorse. Handed me a pile of money and barely said sorry. That was over 3 years ago and they've been married now for almost the same amount of time. Ironically, I did the opposite of what you're supposed to do and just screwed an astronomical amount of women and it was all kind of a b…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 03:24 AM
2

Honestly it's kind of more insulting when they do
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 01:44 AM
3

I did pretty good overall.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 12:47 AM
5

This is a red flag. Any woman who says this is trying to elicit sympathy from you and deflect from looking at her own behavior. Your best bet is to just avoid these women or if they say that then just agree with them and say "if that's how you feel then who am I to argue?" Bottom line is this is usually just some form of shit test to get you to react and argue and she's likely telling on herself. These women are really not worth the time in their current states.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 06:34 PM
3

Was the marriage really that great, though? Or are you just refusing to see her for the asshole she truly is and afraid to admit that you overlooked it?
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 01:12 AM
5

It's is better to have loved and lost and learned the lessons! Key part being the last part.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 01:11 AM
5

Define giving up. How do you know your children are happy without you? Wife is one thing. A lot of men just roll over and take it and you shouldn't.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 10:38 PM
9

Imagine being married to her still and having to put up with it. You got out at the right time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 12:40 AM
6

Yes. This is almost often why men are at a disadvantage. Women have no honor when the feelings vanish. We want them to be like us but they never will be.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 05:37 PM
3

This take deserves to be framed in a museum. You pretty much hit everything succinctly.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 04:55 PM
13

It's the thought and feeling that her life will be better without you that motivated her. I'd say objectively that she's gonna completely crash out but you'll never see it. That's the sad reality. Trying to understand her is a giant trap. You don't need to understand her. All you need to be asking yourself is do I really want a person like this in my life?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 04:52 PM
9

She always negotiated in bad faith. You're not an idiot for trusting her. You were a loving husband who was giving her what she wanted and trying to be honorable. She's a manipulative liar with no honor. That's really it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 08:30 PM
1

Because you're allowing it to confirm it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 06:31 PM
1

Why do you insist on having this view of yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 07:18 AM
1

Are you gonna let her opinion of you be your opinion of you?
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 03:47 AM
1

But why does it feel that way? Is it all because of what she's doing, or something else? By the way, does your user name mean you're in Oklahoma?
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 03:17 AM
1

Have you ever just stopped for a second and actually had gratitude for the fact that you went through hell and are still standing and you're actually really doing great? What you're still attached to is the fantasy of what could have been and how and why someone like your ex wife was not who you fell in love with. It's like mental rape, something like what con artist victims and wives or family of serial killers experience. You've been through one of the most abnormal human experiences, but it w…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 12:45 AM
2

I'd agree with separation idea above.. Recommend that and reading the book Dredd or dead bedroom fix. 6 months and then divorce seems kind of extreme, but I understand the anger and it's completely valid.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:07 AM
1

I'd agree with this. Recommend that and reading the book Dredd or dead bedroom fix. 6 months and then divorce seems extreme.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 03:06 AM
1

Well it wasn't my reality, so....
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 09:59 PM
1

It doesn't matter to who that I disagree? The universe? God? You? I can disagree with whatever I want to disagree with. You just want me to validate your point of view. I don't need to do that. You can do that yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 04:18 PM
1

What description?
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 04:17 PM
1

You mean sweep it under the rug? I have seen that plenty of times. My buddy is a shell of a man and the woman still sneaks around.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 07:02 PM
1

I actually did really well in my divorce and still feel that way years later. I understand what you're saying, but I still disagree. We don't have to be on the same page.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 07:01 PM
1

I'm still dealing with this and I have it towards my mom too. My ex basically abandoned me and my mom blamed me for it. My ex was a cheater who had a secret apartment.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 06:59 PM
1

A cheating woman that's repentant and remorseful? I hear they exist. Never seen one though.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 12:52 AM
1

That's good. I still feel that's overkill, but whatever works for you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 12:50 AM
2

Can I just say that one thing a lot of guys miss, especially if they're dealing with a cheating wife, is that a female attorney is an advantage. Another man fighting with her will just fuel her acting out, but another woman will see right through her and mess with her psychologically.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:13 AM
1

Are you an attorney, or something?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:10 AM
4

10 is a bit excessive.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 04:52 PM
3

You need to ask for a DNA test. Do not sign that birth certificate without it. You are not fairly certain it's yours or you wouldn't add all those qualifying statements. You're ignoring your real feelings to maintain harmony and you don't have to do that anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 04:51 PM
8

I told myself if I ran into them in public I'd just simply say "what's up cheaters?" and that would be that. Why on earth would you feel guilty for not shaking his hand and saying hello? That's an insults. You're not a dick. You owe either of them nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 07:56 PM
7

I think the spirit of what you say is true, but this is like blaming only the English speaker for not understanding a Chinese speaker. Both have responsibility for the failure. We're not their servants.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 01:23 AM
6

I agree with all of this. It feels as if the burden of proof is always on the man. You could have a wife that did objectively horrible and cruel things and walked away to move in with your best friend, coworker, whoever and you will still always feel like it's somehow your fault as a man. You will feel it everywhere you go and who you talk to about it. I don't know where it comes from but it's a real thing and it hurts like hell.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 01:20 AM
5

Depends. Many don't.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 07:04 PM
5

She ain't going to write him any letters back so he shouldn't either.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 03:49 PM
4

This is the only correct take on this thread.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 03:48 PM
12

Don't be an asshole and kick the man when he's down. Do better. Be better.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/25 03:47 PM
1

I'd say give it your all and explain where you're at and be honest. If she rejects you at least you know you tried. Don't listen to this other dude. He's just talking tough because he's hurt.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 01:56 PM
3

Yeah, but wanting and being capable of it are different things.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 08:31 PM
14

Standard cheating wife protocol: "only I am allowed to sleep around because you cheated on me first when you didn't give me enough hugs or some other bullshit I cling to." Seriously they're the fucking worst!
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 08:29 PM
8

I'd be careful with internet memes and videos. Sometimes this can be entirely true, in which case you lost a completely worthless woman. More often than not the truth is more complicated.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 08:51 PM
1

100% or act like their intentions are what they should be evaluated on versus their actions. "I didn't intend to hurt you but my coworker validated my fragile ego and that's why I blew him repeatedly on lunch. You just don't understand me." It's amazing the stuff I put up with in hindsight. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:43 AM
1

The dictionary?
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 09:51 PM
11

My ex wife never mourned shit. She cheated almost the entire marriage, which I didn't know about. I tried to divorce her many times due to general unhappiness and she blocked and love bombed me at every step of the way. But once her garbage AP gets dumped by his wife then suddenly she's never been happy and has been wanting to leave for years. Keep in mind we had zero children and both earned six figures. Neither one of us needed each other. I'm so angry I let myself be manipulated. I hate this …
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 03:47 PM
1

Maybe. Maybe not. They attack the guy in movies because if he attacked his wife it wouldn't sell.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 03:42 PM
2

I agree with that, but they still probably were complicit in all of it. I don't know why we let these guys off the hook. We should be more like women here and shame the man and I say this as a guy who has been one.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 03:41 PM
2

I mean it kind of is a little bit.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 08:24 PM
4

Man my story is similar to yours. Here's the thing though: what on earth do you really have to feel guilty about? All kidding aside but you married a complete liar who is making you feel guilty for basically failing to read her mind and take her at her word. Right? When you actually think about it out loud you'll see it for what it is: her brazen manipulation of you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 02:22 PM
1

Probably, but I'd almost guarantee you it's much worse than you've been told.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 07:23 PM
12

Let me just validate you and say this fucking sucks to go through. The truth is she was probably hiding who she was and what she was doing from you for a very long time. It's a common theme. You can try and solve it but it will never make sense. Ever
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 07:30 PM
1

Trust me. We get it more than you know. Many of us here have been completely fucked over. Mine had a whole secret apartment for years and manipulated me for a decade. It sucks on every single fucking level, but no one is coming to save you. You have to save yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:53 PM
1

You're making excuses for not acting. What do you expect us to do here? Rescue you?
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:52 PM
1

You have to decide if you want to call his bluff. I'd document everything and take your power back. You can't make someone see anything. I'm sorry to say.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 05:13 PM
1

You don't have to talk to him though? Just call an attorney and file.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 05:12 PM
1

Well then if he's an asshole why does his why matter then? Do you want to tolerate his behavior and understand it? The why someone is being a pos really doesn't matter. You could just be attempting to avoid the hard truth--that it's time to divorce this man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 04:59 PM
1

You want our validation and you're in the wrong place for that.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 04:33 PM
3

You will never get an apology from a woman like this. Odds are better trying to win the powerball. I know that's not what you want to hear, but these types of women can stay entitled and proud for much longer than you will care. It sucks, but that's who you really married.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 03:54 PM
3

Normally I would endorse this, but it's easy for someone not in his situation to say this. He's allowed to be pissed off and I don't know why it's so hard for men to just validate each other. We don't have to fix his mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 12:21 AM
7

You don't have to qualify your anger. It's perfectly valid to feel pissed off and ripped off, because you were.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 12:19 AM
1

A lot of surveys and research show the men tend to at a significantly higher rate than women.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 11:25 PM
1

I didn't see that and even then my point stands regardless
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 10:19 PM
3

They cheat for emotion just like men do, but cheating men aren't allowed to publicly badmouth their wife in a way cheating women can badmouth the husband.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/25 10:18 PM
2

Hang in there. Mine was gone almost within 48 hours.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 09:38 PM
8

Nope. But we had sex constantly right until I learned she was a cheater. Instantly repulsed
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 03:42 PM
2

I don't think they really think as deep as we like to think they do. They're mostly just running on fear and anxiety and calling it chemistry.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 11:12 PM
2

I don't know if you ever stop being shocked. It just stops hurting as much.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 08:56 PM
-4

What a great contribution to this thread. What other earth shattering truth bombs do you have for us that have nothing to do with the original question?
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 08:55 PM
2

That's the standard playbook.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 08:53 PM
0

You should look up Michelle Langley if you haven't.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:31 PM
-2

Yeah. The only one I've ever heard of is Rece on TikTok and I know she's legit, because I know her personally. She never slept with her AP though.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:26 PM
17

A cheating wife that regrets it? Why don't you ask if we've ever sighted Bigfoot or UFO's while you're at it, because I'd bet that is more likely to occur.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 07:00 PM
9

Man it just takes time and I say this as someone who slept with an astronomical amount of women post divorce. It didn't matter how many of them were into me and enjoying it, there was always that fucking voice in the back of my head telling me they were faking it or just pretending to enjoy it to manipulate me later. Often times these were first date hookups too, so that made no sense. My situation is maybe different as my ex wife was a cake eater who never stopped screwing me, even as she cheat…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 12:29 PM
9

Because only women are taught to respect and prioritize themselves first in a relationship. Men are supposed to shut up and be a good little boy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 06:54 PM
8

Right after we married. It took me a decade to learn about it though.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 06:51 PM
1

That's not really true though. I'd say the more you lead with your wallet the more likely you are to not get any.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 08:28 PM
7

Thankfully they willingly put out much easier than I remember. But keeping one around without them being a gigantic headache is difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:59 PM
30

So I will say I'm typically the kind of men that women in that age bracket are always chasing and I have no issues attracting women and yet I've recently decided to just be single. Why? Because these women simply don't offer a good value proposition. They're difficult, angry, don't take care of themselves, and come with a shit load of baggage. They all are the equivalent of a high mileage used car being sold at the retail price of a new car and I'm just kind of fucking over it. So I screw them. …
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 03:16 PM
2

The thing about women that's hard to accept sometimes is that they really are emotionally fluid and honest liars. There really isn't honor or integrity in the way we think of it. Whatever they're convinced of in that moment of space and time they really do believe it, but if they change their opinion later then it doesn't matter because there views changed, blah blah. That's why they're so adaptable. It's the exact opposite logic of a man, which is why it's so confusing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 09:57 PM
3

Me thinks she has a new husband waiting in secret and the whole "I want to be single" schtick is to throw him off of that.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 09:54 PM
2

She cheating. She's working out for him not you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 09:53 PM
2

It's alright. A lot of hard lessons learned,
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 02:48 PM
3

You're in a really bad dynamic and I would not blame yourself or stick around.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 04:04 PM
5

My recommendations are to divorce her while you're still young and have a lot of life left. The issues will only grow over time, not lessen. For the record I was similar to yours, but mine was a cheater. I wish I left her in my 30's when I first became unhappy instead of sticking around for 5 more years and learning it was all because she was hiding an affair. These are not good women and you don't owe her a damn thing emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 04:03 PM
3

That was my situation. No regret's. She cheated for a decade and had a secret apartment. I'm not typical at all and neither is my situation, though. Norm is still man as breadwinner and losing most.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 02:34 AM
1

What do you mean by the manosphere, because my guess is you're probably not talking about the actual manosphere.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 02:33 AM
1

I love this story so much. Here here. It's
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 04:29 PM
3

That's why you block them and never message. Your friend needs to see a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 05:24 PM
9

My first time post divorce ended in the ER. It's a long story, but in retrospect I can laugh at it a bit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 05:22 PM
3

Good for you on posting this. I wish more of us did. I'll endorse all of what you say, minus on kids because I didn't have any. I do endorse the "no dating" advice and this is coming from someone who screwed so many women post divorce I don't even think I could name them all. I am not bragging here. It's one thing I deeply regret doing. I wished I would have just immediately started grieving and if it happened again that's what I'd do. The hole it ripped in me was so large because of what she sa…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 05:31 PM
2

Because you like most of us have been lied to about the shadow side of female nature.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 10:21 PM
3

I'm kind of getting here as well and couldn't agree more with you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/25 03:05 PM
1

I'm sorry man. It's like you failed as a man on a basic biological level. I experienced something similar to you, albeit a bit different. My advice is to tell women to fuck off for a bit, stop taking them seriously as a priority, and figure out who you are and what you want your life to be and crush anyone who stands in your way of getting it. It fucking sucks and there's no other way to put it. You're allowed to hurt and feel hurt and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 08:25 PM
1

I mean if you want a roommate and a co-signer then do it. But if you don't and want passion and adventure then get a dog and never give a woman your commitment. Never.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 08:18 PM
2

He can still make jokes.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 04:12 PM
1

I swear it's a difference maker. Talk therapy only goes so far. You have to process your anger and pain in a different way if you're a man. You can get stuck on endless thought loops if you don't learn to manage it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 06:28 PM
3

Get your ass to the gym and get yourself some testosterone. Flirt with women, but don't date. Once your self esteem and health improves you'll have more pussy than you can dream of. I promise you. Therapy will only get you so far as a man. I know it's such a cliche, but there's no substitute for lifting heavy weights, especially if you've been traumatized.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 02:16 PM
1

Does she have another guy in the picture right away?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 09:11 PM
11

Women think this is funny. You have a type and that type is an asshole.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 09:08 PM
3

At least 8 years or so. I don't really feel like going into it, because it's just long and complicated. I despise her though. I wouldn't even attend her funeral.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 11:46 PM
10

Mine was more like a dramatic car crash. One day things were fine the next I learned of an ongoing affair the entire marriage. There was no R for us. Divorced in 65 days and she ran off with dude. On the plus side the divorce gave me a whole shit ton of money.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 01:48 PM
1

Yes. This is what I'm talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 01:46 PM
5

Blame yourself and attack your sense of self. We're men. All we do is take responsibility. Women take almost none. We take way too much responsibility and accountability for their bullshit and quite frankly I'm just tired of letting women shovel guilt and shame onto me. The quicker you learn to shitcan your rescue fantasy with women and just let them get their ass kicked by life and remove yourself the happier you will be. It's one of the saddest aspects of modern society today. We have to let w…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 01:41 PM
10

I wouldn't say it's easier, because then you tend to turn on yourself. Only after you've gone through that can come out on the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 03:21 AM
2

I'll endorse your post. There were plenty of red flags. Granted I married someone who made Bernie Madoff seem honest, but she told me in the beginning what she would do and I misinterpreted. I also let me long history with her and my mother's approval of her overshadow my own internal voice. Still doesn't mean I'm at fault, but yeah, I'm with you 100%
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 06:39 PM
0

I think what I've learned is you should love yourself first and create your own life that you love and are proud of. I do not believe that men should just willingly give commitment because a girl is a good lay and fun to hang out and let's be real--80% of them are only really good for that anyways.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 06:27 PM
8

Because that's misogyny, or something.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 02:01 PM
4

Your ex-wife is a verified dick head and you're being way too hard on yourself. You need to take her off that false pedestal you've placed her on.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 05:00 PM
5

I find it's just best to admit that it sucks and was a shitty thing they did, but that anger is just a reminder that your choice over your own life and relationship was stolen from you. At the end of the day all cheaters are just basically thieves stealing for their habit. They're just really the emotional equivalent of a junkie without the junk.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 05:45 PM
1

💯
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 05:04 PM
7

How is her shitty mood your fault? Dont beat yourself up. She could have declined. Yeah maybe it wasn't the best idea, but you're still letting her crabby ass attitude be your responsibility and it's just not.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 05:04 PM
2

A woman being emotional and expressing emotions is her natural state. I'm not talking about attachment styles here. That's an entirely different discussion
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 02:57 PM
6

A woman being emotional towards you and speaking her frustrations means that woman really really likes you. So many of us were married to wives that smiled through their teeth at us and were compliant not because they were happy, but because they resented us and were quietly destroying the marriage. I'll take a woman getting emotional and anxious any day of the damn week then another fucking ice queen. You gotta stop being afraid of their emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 06:55 PM
3

You can't be nice to them. It's a catch 22 that women put the men into. You have to be the bad guy or she'll torture and punish you until you snap. All they care about is their stupid public personas. They have to always be "good girls." It's so dumb.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 06:16 PM
2

You're welcome. Just keep focused on what you can control. There will always be women
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 03:08 AM
11

I had a cheater ex wife that outearned me 4 to 1 and I stomped her in divorce. You guys need to stop believing the bullshit you read on the internet. You don't have to hire these shit attorneys. Also, I hired a woman attorney. I don't know if it had an effect, but my ex sure was more quiet and hung her head lower in her presence than mine. You gotta fight to win and stop assuming you're just going to get bent over. You think your stbxw isn't playing to win? Think again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 03:06 AM
2

Save your business and focus on that. There will always be women willing to date and do anything for a successful business owner. One with a failing business? No. Your life will go into the toilet and then that chick will bail on you too.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 07:08 PM
5

I know this seems counterintuitive but accept everything that is happening right now and don't try to play whack a mole. You're stuck in an emotional skid and sometimes all you have to do is let your foot off the gas and don't yank the steering wheel. I don't know if this metaphor makes sense, but you need to find a way to cool down and calm your inner state before you start making decisions. Your family will do what they're going to do, but immediately you can control what happens with your bus…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 07:06 PM
2

Probably not
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 03:58 PM
16

Male suicide is higher than breast cancer deaths in women every year. Any day now I'm sure the nfl will be wearing colored jerseys for our special day. 😂
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 09:03 PM
2

Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 08:39 PM
19

My cheating ex wife agreed to alimony to help with a large house we had just finished extensive remodels on. She felt guilty about all the time and money that had been invested in it while she was having an affair. So she agreed to cover half the mortgage and forefeit any rights to equity proceeds if it was sold within the first 5 years post divorce. Shortly after leaving and marrying her AP she lost her job and became a house wife. Now the AP in a weird roundabout way pays half my mortgage. I c…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 01:19 AM
6

Because she wants you to file so she doesn't look like the bad guy. Women do this passive aggressive garbage during divorce every day. It sucks, but this is what they do.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 12:10 AM
4

You're 100% correct on kids and I'm living proof. For years I demonized and hated my father, unconsciously blaming him for the marriage failure between him and my mother. She happily echoed that too. Decades later I despise and detest my mother for driving a wedge between my father and I. And when the day comes for her to finally die here soon I will not give two shits. Sorry if that's bleak, but I just thought you should hear that from a grown adult child that did a 180.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 11:39 PM
8

You gotta decouple your emotions from your wife's approval. I know it sucks either way with kids, but if you have boys and you let them see you demoralized and beat down from mom then you're going to teach them the wrong lesson. I don't know how old your kids are, but you need to find another life outside of your kids and the meaning they bring and you have to build a life for you, not others. Not doing that in the first place is how we all found ourselves married to and screwed over by these ga…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/25 11:33 PM
1

Find a purpose to live. Sounds like you have kids you love dearly. Focus on them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 04:22 AM
1

Are you talking to a professional about this? You should. Find a man that deals with men's issues. Stay away from female therapists.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 04:21 AM
1

Yeah. They don't care about the husband. No love for him at all. This pretty much also shows up in stats.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 03:12 AM
2

She had some hard truths to say, but I did feel better afterwards and helped me see her for who she really is. Depending on your situation talking to her may or may not add any value.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 01:31 PM
2

I don't think she actually says that. She says they want the AP, but are afraid they either won't commit or their feelings will change when they do. So they keep the husband hanging on as a backup plan and to appear torn and not look like a complete pos. But desire for the husband is completely gone. They don't want him at all.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 01:28 PM
1

I've read multiple times and have even spoken to Michelle a few times.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 03:19 AM
4

Mine cheated, but it wasn't like a "I met a new guy at work 6 months ago and realized I was unhappy" type of affair. Nah. Mine had a secret apartment, obstructed numerous attempts to leave her, while she hid her cheating and flat out lied and was a complete fraud...and did it all with a smile on her face and boat loads of blowjobs given to me. At this point my brain is still unsure if it was even real or not and I'm almost 3 years divorced. You tell me?
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 03:22 AM
6

One of the worst things, at least for me, is the t long, slow, and painful slog of taking your woman off the pedestal. Realizing that she was never as wonderful or as awesome as your brain thought she was is a hard adjustment. Seeing that she never really was as in love with you as you were with her and how little she actually cares is also so hard, despite the complete and overwhelming win. I know that feeling as it was me too. Completely dominated in the divorce financially, but seeing how ind…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 08:56 PM
5

Good for you. I did the same as you, but I have no idea how my ex wife is doing. I haven't seen her in two years. DDay was maybe 2.5 years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 06:35 PM
1

Thanks. Still feel like a whore being paid off.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/25 07:11 PM
7

Good for you. My ex outearned me 3 to 1 and I crushed her in divorce. Her AP soulmate even writes me a check now by default and we're 3 years divorced. 🤘🖕
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 05:06 PM
18

Or maybe over the past few decades men have subtly and subliminally been shit all over from every aspect of our culture, while women have simultaneously been uplifted, subsidized, and flattered. It's easy to ask why are men doing so poorly, but no one ever stops to ask how the fat, ugly middle aged woman with multiple kids managed to have such a high self esteem. That is the bigger question. I mean where do all these subpar women get their self esteem from because I want whatever they're having.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 09:10 PM
1

And I disagree that society shames women more for infidelity. The things I've seen and data I've seen show otherwise.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 09:20 PM
1

If when women cheat they are just done and know this then why don't they just leave? I keep hearing people say this over and over again but mine literally cheated the first year of marriage and begged me to not leave her when I tried and was fed up with her treating me poorly during my taking care of my dad dying. I did not know it was cheating, but she begged and begged for me not to leave her and that she loved me and things did change for awhile. But then suddenly her AP gets dumped and like …
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 09:18 PM
1

I agree with this. I just don't buy the stereotypes around cheating. There's real reasons and then there's claimed reasons ie excuses. Each gender makes the excuses and frames the reasons in the way they're allowed ie men blame horniness and libido and women blame emotional neglect of the husband. Men take too much responsibility and women take almost none. It's kind of the same for the betrayed spouse gender also. Betrayed husbands accept all the blame and betrayed wives accept none.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 09:11 PM
1

Yep
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 06:05 PM
3

I don't think these stereotypes are true. It's my opinion that we all have been believing unproven stereotypes about each other for a long time and that this refusal to accept the stereotypes are wrong is where all our pain and confusion comes from.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 06:04 PM
7

From what I've seen and experienced the woman is almost always the aggressor in an affair. The man always gets blamed though.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 06:02 PM
5

Don't talk to her or take her seriously when she says anything at all.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 08:41 PM
19

She got dumped. You weren't available. That's really it. Her ego is bruised and she can't deal with it. This is a story as old as time. Kudos to you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 02:55 PM
2

I get this so much.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 08:08 PM
5

I wished I did. She beat me to the punch.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 08:06 PM
6

Because we take way too much responsibility for the failings of it and society is happy to blame and let the woman off the hook. Oftentimes family is less kinder to the man in a divorce too and everyone rallies around the woman, even as she does completely awful and horrible things to us. You never forget it and it literally changes your entire view of life and people.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 03:02 PM
3

Shut up dude. He deserves what's his, especially if she's a cheater. To hell with her
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 03:30 AM
3

If you need someone to talk to send me a DM. Your wife sounds exactly like my ex and I dominated her in divorce, so maybe I can give you some advice or input.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 03:29 AM
1

Amen to this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 02:05 AM
4

That's me. Wife outearned 4 to 1 and I even make six figures. She was a cheating pos. Very long affair. Got caught and ran. Abandoned me with a foster child. I was ruthless in divorce though. I struck fast and dominated her through guilt and shame and I got almost everything in the divorce, including alimony and we had zero children. My advice: don't play nice. She won't. Crush her any way you know how. Exploit every weakness, because she will. Also, use a woman attorney. There's just something …
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 01:51 AM
2

The problem with men during divorce is that they're too nice and honestly the wife just does not give a shit. You just gotta put em down fast and decisively. If you waffle they will punish you over and over again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 11:20 AM
1

Stay strong. It fucking hurts and it sucks. They're weak. We're strong.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 07:32 PM
2

Don't be surprised if it never happens. They'd rather die than let you see them regret it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 01:59 PM
6

Women aren't very thoughtful in general, so this isn't a surprise. Their problem has always been pride. They'd rather watch their life go into the crapper then admit they made a bad call on divorcing a decent husband. The grief is too much for them to bear.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 03:03 PM
5

That society and women in general are in denial about how bad they really are at communicating and how they will almost always create a projection in their mind of you that makes you into some grotesque monster to feel better about fucking you over. The best relationship for a man is one where the woman is more afraid of losing him then he is of her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:53 PM
11

Cue Admiral Akbar https://i.pinimg.com/originals/97/fa/af/97faaf114d528413ae51124dce7a0992.gif
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 03:03 AM
6

Mine talked a lot of shit and lied about a lot of things for a long time. All I can say is you have to remind yourself that they're a demonstrated pos liar and that anyone who will believe them is not someone you really want in your life anyways. That feeling of injustice is the hardest thing to shake, though. But you have to constantly remind yourself that these people and her opinions don't matter. I'm not saying it's easy, but it does get easier.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 08:20 PM
1

Man I'm sorry about that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 09:59 PM
1

I'm 43. I was 41 when it came out. Feel free to send me a direct message, if you need someone to talk to.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 09:58 PM
1

I actually owned mine pretty hard in the divorce. Exploited her guilt fairly well.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 09:33 PM
2

I know that feeling. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 02:33 PM
1

This is correct too. If I could do it all over again I wouldn't have gone headfirst into vagina.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 02:32 PM
1

You're right. She was just so hurtful and mean when she was caught. I just reverted to old patterns. I didn't use any women or lie to them. I was always able to pull women even before marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 02:31 PM
2

The degree to which alcohol fucks with us cannot be overstated. I went 3 weeks without a drink. Had two and then the next day I felt like shit and depressed.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 02:28 PM
3

Ok. I can get behind that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 03:57 AM
2

Sure, but that's not really what the post is about.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 03:56 AM
7

I swear to god the degree to which women just flat out lie and covertly sabotage a marriage to avoid the optics of being the aggressor cannot be overstated. Once you see this it's impossible to unsee it. I'm so sorry that's what you have to deal with. Mine cheated for 8 of the 11 years we were together and somehow it was still my fault in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 03:51 AM
-1

I feel like the kids take the focus off of the loneliness though. Like you have something bigger than yourself that provides relief. As far as dating goes, yeah I see that now. I think I had sex with like 50 women in that year afterwards. I had like 5 dates a week for months on end. But then I got bored with that and now the darkness has come.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 02:13 AM
2

I'm aware
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 02:10 AM
8

Don't do it. It's a trap and your ex wife will treat you like her emotional tampon. Shit can her and move on. That reminiscing is just your brain on love withdrawal. Ignore it. You're divorced for a reason.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 04:07 AM
2

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_pluralism Links to plenty of studies here about how women will reproduce with one man, but require another for paternal investment. Women have a very dark side also.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 10:08 PM
1

There's a lot of science that backs this up.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 07:44 PM
1

Man I'm really sorry you're going through this. I feel your pain so much and if I could do anything I would.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/24 07:43 PM
1

I’m talking about marriage. You should absolutely not settle for pity sexual acts in a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 04:37 PM
1

Upvoting this
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 05:45 PM
1

It’s still blatant manipulation and once you realize this all the joy and memories are ruined. I would have forfeited the blowjobs, if it meant I got the years back I wasted with that pos.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 04:54 AM
3

Oddly enough, women who are cheating increase the quantity and frequency of blowjobs they give to their husbands out of guilt. So no it doesn’t mean that at all.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 10:57 PM
10

Who knows and who cares. I know mine would lie through her teeth, rather than admit she made a mistake. Cheated and left me for the guy she did it with. He’s old and has money, so I’m sure that’s all she really cared about because I owned her pretty hard in the divorce. New husband has other women filing restraining orders against him. Not sure if she knows.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 12:56 PM
1

Oklahoma
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:30 PM
3

I did the same thing in the same situation. They lose their shit when they can no longer control you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:26 PM
9

I did not. She half ass attempted it, but she was a cheater so I rebuffed all of her attempts.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:24 PM
1

It sucks terribly. The example I like to use to describe what it feels like is you know on the walking dead when people see their loved ones have become flesh eating zombies? It feels a lot like that. Like you can see it’s them, but they aren’t really that same person anymore. You can either accept it and take action to protect yourself or you can stand there and get eaten. It’s really that simple.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 09:12 PM
1

Recognize that the only reason you love her is because you were rejected by her. You’ve got to release the emotional dependency on her for your own worth.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 07:04 PM
1

Good luck to you. It’s a hard road, but worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 07:01 PM
1

Yeah. Sadly yes.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 07:01 PM
2

Was there cheating on her part? What are the circumstances of the divorce? I totally owned my ex wife in divorce and she made 3 times what I made, but she was a cheater. That was my leverage.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 04:48 PM
1

I don’t even want to have sex just to have sex anymore. Ironically it makes them pursue harder, but it feels good to finally have control over my dick for once.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 07:48 PM
1

I went backwards. I think I had sex with something like 50 women in a year and then went through a period of loathing. I recommend doing the work first. Almost all of those 50 were completely forgettable.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 07:43 PM
3

It’s his ex. Why does his opinion of his life drive you nuts? Codependent much?
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 07:34 PM
8

Fuck no you shouldn’t feel guilty! More men should move on like women do and leave them holding the bag when they fail! Good for you!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 10:07 PM
9

I bet you could throw a rock and hit 5 women that are exactly like this. They’re pathetic miserable losers and you’re better off.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 08:15 PM
3

Why can’t he see it that way? Nothing wrong with staying single or dating the same person forever.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 01:11 PM
2

I feel this too deeply. I’m sorry man. Better off without her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:56 AM
2

Nope. Mine cheated and I could never look at her the same and she honestly didn’t even really try.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 03:55 AM
2

Yeah that shit is rough. Like you logically know that, but then there’s little fucking itch in the back of your brain shouting insults at you. Ironically some of my biggest supporters post divorce have been women who have cheated and left their marriages amicably. I tell them stories of what mine did and genuine horror comes across their face and then they validate and hold space for me. It’s just so ironic that they will do for me what the one woman I loved never would. It’s actually helped me …
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 04:20 PM
3

I went through something similar, minus pregnancy. Mine cheated for 8 years and pretended as if it was all fine. Then when caught left me for the other man and married him within 6 months. The only justice was a favorable divorce decree. Other than that nothing. I know how you feel. Being rejected and replaced is a whole other level of hell.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 12:26 PM
5

I’m sadly with you. My wife cheated on me and left me. I’m an only child and my own mother didn’t even initially have my back. Her mother called me selfish after her own daughter abandoned me with a foster child. The degree to which women get patted on the back for literally everything in this society is bullshit. The degree to which cheating women are forgiven faster than cheating men is also bullshit and the way they allow them to blame it all on the man is also bullshit. I’m fucking fed up.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 02:47 PM
1

I don’t buy that shit at all. Successful men learn how to set and enforce boundaries with women. The moment you put on a mask to please a woman you’re finished. The only way to deal with women is detach from needing their approval or validation. Focus on everything else but them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 06:54 PM
2

A majority of people are actually really toxic and not capable of being in a healthy relationship at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 05:02 PM
1

I do just fine with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 03:34 AM
0

So many of you care way too much about the opinions of women and you really just shouldn’t. Being yourself means detaching from expecting anything from a woman and being authentic to your core beliefs and opinions about life. So many of you don’t understand this. Women see right through inauthenticity.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 03:25 AM
1

Not here and not right now, unless you’re hot and I’m already attracted to you. If not I’m busy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 07:41 PM
1

They’re not though.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 03:21 AM
1

No offense but if you’re going out to clubs where it’s like the lowest and most derivative club skanks then of course you’re going to be jaded. They fucking suck! Don’t waste your time if that’s not you and try to fit in, because you’ll be awkward. Find an environment and vibe that works for you and fits you. Maintain your frame.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/23 12:54 AM
1

Be nice if you’re really nice. If you’re authentic they will notice. If you’re not then they won’t. Every dude spends all this time trying to second guess how a woman may or may not react to them. You should be authentic and vulnerable and the ones that are meant for you will come to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 08:39 PM
1

Not if you’re on medium. Most of the articles about men—complaining or otherwise—are written by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 06:12 AM
1

The same goes for women complaining about men too. They aren’t competitive enough for those of us men that are. It goes both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 05:14 AM
3

Take everything a woman says at face value without question.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 06:19 PM
1

I roll with what the woman wants usually. Most women enjoy about 3-5 times in the sack with me and then move on. I struggle with long term relationships, but not with getting laid. It’s not intentional, but it’s almost like they just find me. I don’t know what that makes me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 04:30 AM
1

This is correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/23 04:29 AM
1

Yeah. There’s a lot I don’t know about it, but she went through a lot of bs if that’s all it was about: a quarter of a million dollar house remodel, bringing on a foster child, and then trying to have a baby with me. That was just the last year even.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 10:09 PM
1

It did.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 09:57 PM
1

I’m sure she feels lots of shame and guilt. But she isn’t remorseful and she isn’t telling me or trying so I don’t know what to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 09:26 PM
1

No. Not at all. In fact I’m actually fairly big—8 inches erect and 5 inches around. She enjoyed other women at times and it never bothered me. The dude she cheated with is 8 years older and shorter than me and her. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:58 PM
1

Because she had a secret apartment.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:39 PM
1

Whatever you’d like to know. Other than when I later learned the affair was at its worst our sex life wasn’t dead. Once a week fairly consistently. I didn’t learn about the peak of the affair because I was taking care of a father dying in hospice.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:19 PM
2

She outearned me 4 to 1, but I wasn’t financially reliant on her. I keep learning my ex wife was very different than your standard cheating woman. I’m still squaring a lot of contradictions.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:07 PM
1

Just be someone she’s attracted to and then approach away. What women who post shit like this really mean is: stay away ugly dudes. That’s the cold hard truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:04 PM
1

Sure, but mine held on for 8 years under the radar. Who monkey branches for 8 years?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 08:02 PM
0

Because they’re more open about it and asking for what they need. Cheaters don’t because they’re ashamed, which is why they do it in secret.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 07:18 PM
1

I like women in their 40’s. That accurately describes current woman I’m dating. I have a friend who’s 52 and gets 20 and 30 year old dudes hitting on her all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 01:19 PM
1

Lol. Well I’m 6’1” and athletic with a six pack and make 6 figures and attractive I’ve been told. I’m 42. No kids also.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 12:43 PM
1

I heard men didn’t peak until their 40’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 11:27 AM
21

I’m going with the 30+ year old. 20+ year old is statistically more likely to cheat, so at least I still have half my money. Women in their 30’s are more sexual too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 11:26 AM
1

I’d say 2 & 3 I wouldn’t really argue with much. I would say on point 1 if you change appearances to feelings then it makes more sense. The rest are pretty bleak and too black and white, but I feel the spirit of where he’s coming from.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 03:39 AM
2

I would agree with the spirit of some of these things, though the tone and absolutism is way off on quite a few. However, I would be even more cynical and point out that when you’re a man they already want getting sex from women can be had at relatively low cost or effort. Only undesirable men pay high costs for a subpar product.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/23 03:31 AM
1

I don’t read or watch him. Send me something of his. Even then that’s one guy. I could send you like 8 medium authors on the female side right now. Mona Lisa Smiled is the most egregious.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 07:57 PM
1

What am I googling? Men defending adultery? If it’s so easy then why don’t you just post an article like I did?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 06:50 PM
2

I have never seen any man defend a deadbeat dad, rapist, or cheater the same way women defend women cheating. Just go to medium or google it and you’ll find article after article of feminist bullshit defending adultery when it’s instigated by the woman. Here’s one really blatant example. https://www.bustle.com/wellness/she-wants-more-jo-piazza-podcast-womens-affairs
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:37 PM
0

I’m going to assume you’re a woman here, but It’s just so funny to me how many women will defend other women doing absolutely horrible things or just retort with “but what about men…” You’ll never see men defend other men doing horrible things in the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 11:34 AM
0

Lol. It makes sense based on who’s responsible for the child? Okay. Cool. Whatever you say.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 11:32 AM
1

Thanks for stopping by
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:41 PM
1

No make your point if you feel you need to. Obviously you made this passive aggressive comment for a reason, so just be a grownup and say what you want to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:27 PM
3

But that’s not actually true though. Plenty of men are victimized by women and wives. Most child abuse is actually perpetrated by the mother and not the father. It’s just a stereotype that’s accepted but not very true. https://www.statista.com/statistics/254893/child-abuse-in-the-us-by-perpetrator-relationship/
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:05 PM
6

If children are involved and the woman cheats the downside is less, because courts tend to favor granting custody to the woman and will not consider infidelity. So less downside for women, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:27 PM
2

This one specifically applies to cyber affairs, but numbers are pretty much dead even. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J398v01n03_03
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:23 PM
1

No I didn’t, but I didn’t know I had to. What does it matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:22 PM
2

I don’t know why you have to qualify it with “as a woman.” No man that I personally know wants to force a woman into a marriage she’s unhappy in. The problem is that women want commitment much more than men and sometimes they pretend to be someone different to get that man. But when they finally get commitment from a man and then theyre unhappy because they people pleased then suddenly it becomes our fault and that abandoning or cheating on the man is somehow okay, because (insert whatever reaso…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 05:28 PM
2

My guess it’s the cheaters that lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 02:33 PM
1

The problem is trying to get one at all. I know this is going to elicit hate, but women don’t want to be chased at all. They want to chase the man. Yeah they’ll say otherwise, but their behavior says otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 02:10 PM
7

Women can’t be married in their 20’s?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 01:03 PM
8

Different studies have different numbers, but most put the two sexes neck and neck and some women cheat at substantially higher rates at different points in life ie their 20’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:54 PM
15

Gotta read Women’s Infidelity by Michelle Langley. You’ll never look at marriage the same again as a man. I read it too late, but my ex wife mirrored what she outlined in there almost to a T.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:52 PM
12

Or maybe women don’t take commitment seriously at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:43 PM
7

Most of them actually cheat, though. Fairly well documented at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:43 PM
9

I will never get married again. There’s no upside for a man in marriage. None.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:41 PM
3

I don’t have an issue with it as long as our sex life and dialogue around it is robust. If it’s not or she tries to pretend it was just a phase then no fucking way, because I’ll never trust her.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 10:37 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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