| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 147 | For those of you in the middle of divorcing... | ShutUpHeExplained | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/25 03:05 PM | |
| 77 | I won. Here's how | Success Stories | ShutUpHeExplained | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/24 04:12 AM |
| 9 | Good policy | ShutUpHeExplained | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/07/24 02:48 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Title: Married 6 months ago, now I think my wife is a covert narcissist and no one believes me because she’s “the sweetest person.” How did you cope?Agree completely. Here's the thing: people are going to believe whatever they want. You will very quickly find out who your friends are. Keep them, cut the rest off. I spent two decades in your shoes. I stayed for the kids. I regret it. Don't tell anyone your plans. Pray for peace, prepare for trial. The woman you divorce is not the one you married. If she is a covert narcissist she is going to scorched earth. Move anything you value out of the house now and withdraw as much as possible but do n… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/26 08:31 PM |
| 1 | You guys were right…Pray for peace. Prepare for trial. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/26 11:24 PM |
| 5 | Still Legally Married, but She’s Moved Out and Moved On. Trying to Let Go Gracefully.I would strongly recommend a few things: Get divorced. You can't truly move on until that's in the rearview mirror Give yourself some grace. Men tend to either blame their ex for everything or focus on their own failings. Since you seem to avoid the former, I suspect there's a bit of the latter happening. Therapy. This is an immensely painful time in your life. Everything is changning and not the way you want. Self care. Try to get good sleep, exercise, eat right and watch alcohol consumption. T… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/25 09:20 PM |
| 2 | My worst fearEven if she served you with divorce papers, many states (most?) still allow for mediation. In my state, you are required to go to mediation first before any sort of hearing or trial. In my experience, its better to give more at mediation where possible to avoid the legal bills. You can stand firm on some things like custody and you probably should but when it comes to Stuff and Things, its better to let things go than fight over them with lawyers. Most people have the basics. House, kids, cars a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/25 06:46 PM |
| 2 | Tough time this morningunderstanding != agreement. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope for the best for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/25 05:45 PM |
| 1 | Tough time this morningI understand. Is it likely that she will leave willingly? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/25 09:31 PM |
| 2 | Tough time this morningshe could really hurt me financially. While mediation will likely be cheaper, you may find that you don't have a choice. Get. The. Ball. Rolling. Start preparing yourself for whatever comes next. Start running the numbers on worst case scenarios. Work up a parenting plan. Start looking for a place to stay. Make an accounting of all the assets. Shared and individual. Even mediation isn't cheap but if she decides to go scorched earth you'll just end up paying for lawyers to end up in the same plac… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/25 07:01 PM |
| 2 | She PlottedI Am Not A Lawyer | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/25 06:45 PM |
| 7 | She PlottedYour lawyer should make her eat that whole thing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/25 05:22 PM |
| 16 | She PlottedIANAL, however, I would be looking into your finances very closely. Its possible she has been siphoning off cash for a separate account for herself to have a softer landing. She must disclose this otherwise its illegal. You cannot hide assets from your spouse. Also, I hate to say it but she also probably saw her dad's passing as an opportunity to make the change and now her father can't judge her anymore. She "gave it all she had"? Bullshit. If you're unhappy, you owe it to your partner and your… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/25 04:28 PM |
| 5 | Am I an asshole for saying this:NTA. She wants what she wants with no guilt and good optics. Draw boundaries and keep them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/24 10:58 PM |
| 3 | Wife had an affairShe is not your wife anymore. She is not your friend anymore. All she she is now is your opponent in an expensive lawsuit. As I've said elsewhere: Pray for peace, prepare for trial. NB: the woman you marry and the woman you divorce are two VERY different people. I have met exactly one woman who didn't go scorched earth. She will undoubtedly try to make herself the victim to everyone who will listen. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 09:50 PM |
| 1 | Entitled toIANAL but i will tell you she can even get more than half depending on the difference in your earnings. My ex got 60% you can fight this but you'll lose. Give her half and be done. Legal bills add up later and will very quickly make this look like a good deal in hindsight | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/24 07:18 PM |
| 3 | Ex wife keeps bringing new boyfriend to my houseThis isn't rocket surgery. She does it to any you and you're taking the bait. Unless your children are very young you can say goodbye inside and send them out. Open the door, see the kids off and wave to ex and boyfriend. Done | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/09/24 11:23 PM |
| 1 | Guys who initiated the divorce and did NOT get cheated on, what’s your story?It's a long story. The court appointed process server tried a few times then gave up or something. That fell through the cracks and now she's avoiding service from a PI. The bill is currently north of 10K | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/24 05:52 PM |
| 25 | What are some if the red flags in the beginning of the relationship that you missed?Love bombing. The deep and immediate flood of love and adoration that is way too much too soon. Classic sign of BPD. I wish I had known. Lost the best years of my life instead. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/24 01:58 AM |
| 1 | Guys who initiated the divorce and did NOT get cheated on, what’s your story?I moved out with the kids and was staying with family. Legally her name was on the deed. She met the guy in a BPD outpatient program. It doesn't matter. She's basically out of my hair for most everything. She's about to get served with a bill for 3 years of back child support. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/24 01:13 AM |
| 4 | Guys who initiated the divorce and did NOT get cheated on, what’s your story?Check my history for the longer version. Good times. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/24 04:23 AM |
| 19 | Guys who initiated the divorce and did NOT get cheated on, what’s your story?BPD. Told me she was gay after 4 kids and 20+ years of marriage. She told me to move on and I moved out. Met an amazing woman and she went bonkers. Total meltdown so bad our son was granted a PFA. Decided she's not gay. Went to cluster B outpatient program, met a guy there and immediately moved him into my house. Our kids haven't spoken to her in 3 years. I have the house, the kids and full legal and physical custody. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/24 02:03 AM |
| 5 | How can I prepare and strategize for the divorce to leverage the best outcome for me to start over?I took this approach. It blew up in my face. It took everything I had to pull it back from the edge of disaster. You can pray, you can have compassion but for the love of Odin, treat as an adversarial process. Because it is. If it isn't, it will become one very quickly. Separate your personal feelings from your strategy. She is going to be completely fine financially and otherwise. Fight to keep what you have. If she truly doesn't want to fight there won't be one. Based on what you say above thi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/24 05:36 PM |
| 9 | Is my wife cheating?Too true. I literally skipped everything else and went yo the comments | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/24 12:12 AM |
| 2 | Filed for divorce - She is refusing to negotiate.I actually had to i.pute for my ex. It's not difficult. They have a vocational examiner or whatever. They tell the court her earning potential. Costs a few hundred bucks. Ymmv. Ianal. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/24 04:47 AM |
| 12 | Filed for divorce - She is refusing to negotiate.Struggle with alcoholism Find a job These two do not pair well | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/05/24 02:22 AM |
| 4 | Too fast or am I good?In my state this is irrelevant. Your behavior towards your kids is separate. That said DO NOT bring anyone around your kids for a long time. I was dating my gf for a year before she met my kids | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/05/24 06:40 PM |
| 2 | The little things (taken for granted)Why? Was she helping you with your needs? Your therapist is correct. She's selfish and the only way selfish people learn is when things get hard for them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/24 03:49 PM |
| 1 | Do you want to find a new partner?I wish more people realized you can have a fulfilling life without being partnered. There are adjustments and even compromises but as I get older....I ask if the juice is worth the squeeze. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/24 12:19 AM |
| 5 | I’m outDM me too. I've been there. Do. Not. Do. This. Nothing is that bad no matter how it seems right now. I've been there. I'm better now than I've ever been and I had a motorcycle accident in the interim. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/24 08:53 PM |
| 4 | What to do and not do when you see it comingIf she is mentally unwell/unstable, you have a very difficult road ahead irrespective of which path you choose. I was married to a woman with BPD which started with amicable separation and very quickly went sideways. My first question would be what is the nature of the mental issues? Are they being addressed? Is this new or lifelong or something else? How old is your child? What I would do if I were you: Start preparing for the worst. Start documenting aberrant behavior. Keep track of incidents … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/24 01:18 PM |
| 3 | I’m just gonna disappear for awhileBe very careful where you get them. Fentanyl is everywhere. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/24 03:00 PM |
| 1 | Need a divorce but can't survive financially. How to pull the trigger?I will live in my fucking car if I have to. Then you've made your decision. Bottom line, you can always make more money. You can't trade in wasted years. Trust me. I lost the best years of my life and I'm happier now than I've been in a very long time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/23 05:26 PM |
| 1 | Need a divorce but can't survive financially. How to pull the trigger?Do you have parents you can stash a little money monthly with? Be very careful. This is illegal in many places. Hiding assets from your spouse can be risky. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/09/23 05:24 PM |
| 3 | Well, it was finally said, the d-wordThis will be doubly true if you don't start to follow the advice of those who have gone before you and made the same mistakes. You may see that episode as a win but its one battle in the war and it did not help your overall strategy. Keep racking up "victories" like this and you'll be very unhappy with the outcome at the end. I wish you luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/23 05:40 PM |
| 5 | Im physically and emotionally abused.I cannot agree with this any harder. This woman is unpredictable, violent and dangerous. From here on, you need to be several steps ahead. I would get advice from your attorney as to what preemptive steps you should take. Ask about finances, can you redirect your paycheck? Ask about Protection from Abuse order. Ask about exclusive use of marital home with that. Take pictures of everything in case she destroys anything. Ask about recording conversations to protect yourself from false claims. You … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/02/23 08:07 PM |
| 1 | Divorced at height of Covid made it easier in court for me.I get why you posted this but you just admitted to perjury. I really hope this is a throwaway account | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/23 08:39 PM |
| 1 | Meeting ex’s new boyfriend.I guess I wasn't clear. I have the kids 100% of the time at the moment. I have a very good chance of getting full custody. I'm concerned that if I don't this guy might be around. I believe we can put language in the agreement that will keep him away. Just gives me the ick. Edited to add: A welfare check is very limited. All they do is make sure that everyone present is not in a violent or dangerous situation. It wouldn't tell me much about this guy or what his background is. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/23 06:20 PM |
| 8 | Meeting ex’s new boyfriend.That's what the PI is for. From what you've said I have alarms going off left and right. The PI has access to tool you don't. He will shadow this guy coming and going and will get his license plate and the rest will follow. Kids have a good creep meter and I'll eat my shoe if your PI doesn't find something on this guy. If I were you I'd get the PI and then engage a lawyer when you find whatever it is you find. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/23 09:27 PM |
| 1 | She spent 30k in 2 months.....The court is going to take a very dim view of this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/23 03:11 AM |
| 2 | Women who lurk in the Men's Divorce subreddit, why are you here?Waiting for it all to be over before I speak my mind. I have a lot of information to share and want to help others avoid mistakes. Also, it'll be a throwaway but I'll answer pm's on that account | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/22 04:09 PM |
| 7 | She confirmed it.Bruh. Post workout routine and diet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 01:18 AM |
| 1 | What strategies have you used with the courts against a narcissist wife..?PM me if you think I can help in the future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 06:49 PM |
| 1 | What strategies have you used with the courts against a narcissist wife..?Think of it as a restraining order. It limits the time and manner of communication. It can be very narrow (i.e. no contact at all) or quite broad. Usually is says something like only no phone calls allowed. All communication must be via email or text and between the hours of 8-8 and must not be abusive and only talk about what is necessary (i.e. kids/school/bills etc). You can probably file yourself. If you have a lawyer already, ask them about it. If not, you can try to file yourself. Good luck… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/22 01:30 PM |
| 1 | What strategies have you used with the courts against a narcissist wife..?I had a Protection From Abuse order. Filed ex parte. It got her attention very quickly | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/22 07:29 PM |
| 1 | Harassment advice ex will not stop.Speaking from personal experience, you can file a protective order. In my state it's called Protection From Abuse orders. I filed it myself, no court fees and you specify what terms are permitted. They are usually granted ex parte and a hearing to follow if you two can't Agee. Also you may want to try and see if your phone has a feature foe managing notifications for particular apps or turn on Do Not Dusturb and you can allow/deny whatever you want Good luck | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/22 06:01 AM |
| 3 | End is Drawing NearCheck her phone records or just wait a week after the divorce is final. He'll be there | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/22 03:01 PM |
| 10 | Finally hate my wife.Go to court and file "Protection from Abuse" order. If she violates that it's a criminal offense. Straight to jail. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/22 04:01 PM |
| 1 | Wife basically told me she never intends on changing.I’m guessing she wants me to be the one to ask so I’ll look like the terrible person. No. She wants to control you. Once you initiate divorce proceedings, buckle up its going to get worse. She is going to use the kids as pawns and shop her story of Terrible u/scumblebutt to everyone she can. You can either not care or get out in front of it. Up to you. I speak from experience. PM me if you think I can help. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/09/22 03:39 AM |
| 10 | Single Guys in their 40s+ and Early RetirementThey are the least dependent on the system. And mostly likely to give it the middle finger and ditch it. The System does not like those who are hard to control. In ye olden days of family farms, a man could feed his family with land and tools he owned. That man is very hard to control. He is lord and master on his land. Small wonder family farms are all but gone | /r/TheRedPill | 01/03/22 07:10 PM |
| 17 | Single Guys in their 40s+ and Early RetirementIt's about not being trapped like 95% of the rest of the population in a cycle of consumption and debt that makes life a rat race Indeed. True wealth is not who has the most but wants the least. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/03/22 07:08 PM |
| 12 | Grabbed my food and kept it moving…^ MGTOW right there. Man's happy with his choices and finds his life fulfilling. To each his own. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/21 06:10 PM |
| 1 | Newly SeperatedDM me if you want to talk. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/21 02:58 PM |
| 9 | Why get an attorney?At least consider mediation or having a lawyer review everything before signing. Make sure agreements are notarized. Things are amicable now but you never know when that might change | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/21 07:35 PM |
| 5 | Physical effects of grievingThis was me too. I skipped rx and changed my diet. Cut down on alcohol and started eating clean. Took me a few months but I'm better. I found a weighted blanket really helped my sleep. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/21 03:04 AM |
| 12 | Send in your resumes.Indeed. Read a man's profile with similarly strident demanding tone and its equally off putting IMO. | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 27/07/21 12:24 PM |
| 1 | What is this BS ?Still, men are getting hit harder. We're losing 1$ for every $.75 cents they lose in earnings | /r/MGTOW | 10/05/21 11:06 PM |
| 2 | What are your thoughts on therapy? Why is it or why is it not effective?I'm just going to leave this here. Seriously brothers stoicism is like a superpower and is absolutely in line with MGTOW. Edit:. Fixed the link | /r/MGTOW2 | 31/01/21 01:25 AM |
| 3 | next: men get stripped of basic human rightsI've never heard of adult cases. I'd be curious about the circumstances. | /r/MGTOW | 13/01/21 12:44 PM |
| 6 | next: men get stripped of basic human rightsThis wouldn't get past any level of judicial review. Medical procedures without consent? Not happening. | /r/MGTOW | 13/01/21 04:16 AM |
| 1 | Who cares? Like really? Who cares? Imagine taking a random tragedy and advertising it as if it's something to be proud of. How much attention do you need? Why is it pretty much only women that do this? (answer: they ain't got nuthin else to be proud of and get attention from)I understand your point. That said, I have a child with profound autism and I would never, ever, label myself like this for any reason. We were offered a handicap plate and refused. My kid can walk just fine and if he's being difficult that doesn't mean I need good parking. I'm no hero or victim. I just have a difficult situation that I'd like to get through without attention or pity. | /r/MGTOW | 15/11/20 06:25 PM |
| 5 | Thoughts the great resetMaybe. Depends on how bad it gets and how fast. The CCP does not fuck around. Tianamen Square was yesterday in their eyes. They have no problem killing off 50 million people. They have plenty of people to lose | /r/MGTOW | 15/11/20 05:01 PM |
| 8 | Thoughts the great resetCan't speak on the Ruble, but the Yuan is a house of cards waiting for collapse. China's whole GDP is predicated on cheap labor and big capital projects. The reason they keep moving production further and further into the interior is that the wages in the big cities are no longer a competitive edge. The have something like 500 MM in the middle class now. Any back sliding on that would be very problematic. The social credit system they have in place is a SHTF plan. When there's unrest or food sho… | /r/MGTOW | 15/11/20 04:16 PM |
| 6 | Thoughts the great resetI think we're in the middle of one. This is, quite literally an information civil war. There is a war right now for control of The Narrative and who gets to be the arbiter of Truth. Big Tech is censoring anything they don't like. How far will this go? If Biden is inaugurated he will certainly not bother them. Why would he? They will continue to tighten down on anyone left of Sanders until there isn't any real freedom of speech left. | /r/MGTOW | 15/11/20 04:12 PM |
| 2 | “I’m too lazy to work and want someone to support me”Highly dependant on where you live. Arizona, sure. Maryland, not so much. | /r/MGTOW | 15/11/20 04:02 PM |
| 6 | GF cheated on me a year ago, went MGTOW. Graduated as a civil engineer and bought my dream car! Never felt so good!Living well. The best revenge | /r/MGTOW | 27/07/20 09:42 AM |
| 14 | Is it worth trying to be famous?Rich > famous. Rich is also more achievable. Famous means making yourself a target for grifters and such. It also means surrendering your privacy. Save, invest, stay under the radar. Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered. | /r/MGTOW | 18/07/20 09:20 PM |
| 4 | Top college QB and potential 2021 NFL #1 overall draft pick getting engaged. Should someone tell him whats yet to come?I'll take the under | /r/MGTOW | 18/07/20 09:06 PM |
| 7 | What a surprise, when a woman complains about the husband everyone supports her but when a man complaints about his wife he gets shit onI submit this may be a function of honesty. Men tend to be fact focused and take responsibility. Women, in my experience, tend to portray themselves in the best light possible. | /r/MGTOW | 18/07/20 07:46 PM |
| 3 | "I'm still sitting here and now what?"I thought know you know exactly how this would have gone if the roles had been reversed. | /r/PussyPassDenied | 02/05/20 08:16 PM |
| 36 | Two sexist Feminists shut down on Dragon's DenSo....second? | /r/PussyPassDenied | 06/10/16 02:49 AM |
| 2 | "thats not how consent works" pure ownage of feminist at a rallyI always point to leftist hero Barney Frank. Even he gets it: "I believe very strongly that people on the left are too prone to do things that are emotionally satisfying and not politically useful. I have a rule, and it’s true of Occupy, it’s true of the gay-rights movement: If you care deeply about a cause, and you are engaged in an activity on behalf of that cause that is great fun and makes you feel good and warm and enthusiastic, you’re probably not helping, because you’re out there with you… | /r/PussyPassDenied | 01/09/16 01:56 PM |
| 9 | An angry woman throws drink and then reaps what she sowedMaybe he converted | /r/PussyPassDenied | 29/05/16 07:16 PM |
| 3 | Would potential husbands frown upon my decision?I promise you will not regret quitting this job a year from now. Rather, you're going to wonder why you stayed as long as you did. | /r/RedPillWomen | 14/11/14 09:09 PM |
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