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Significant-Bar674 Archive

View 1 post and 27 comments by Significant-Bar674 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

CustodySignificant-Bar674/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 05:02 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

People really don't seem to fathom that laws and agreements to give someone more in a divorce is an incentive to divorce. All else being equal, if contract A would give you an extra 50k to exit the contract relative to contract B, contract A will be more likely to dissolve. It might not be the underlying cause of most divorces but it's certainly an incentive to not put as much effort into preserving the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 07:11 PM
1

That just sounds like "work hard to piss off a judge and get slapped for hiding assets"
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 02:42 PM
3

Bizarrely enough, my states laws are set to where it's basically encouraged by calculating the child's cost and then making the payee pay more than that. It's not intentional in the law though, just bad math.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 05:01 PM
3

Just for some clarification on that child support business. Technically child support should be geared towards the actual cost of the child. That is, every dollar you pay in child support would have been dollars you would have paid anyways but don't because of the custody difference. The reality is different because no everything is groceries. The extra room in the apartment for where the child sleeps doesn't care if the room is empty 80% of the time. You're paying the full rent for a 2 bedroom.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 04:18 PM
1

I'm not even sure it would have to be listed. You could ostensibly agree that the sale of the house need only be in say 2 years. The feasibility of that is kinda dog shit though. Nobody is going to want to wait 2 years for their payout. Maybe if you sweeten the pot by splitting the post divorce equity or something but even then probably not.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 04:13 PM
3

Adding to this that there is basically an escalation ladder for this kind of thing: Step 1: serious talk about your needs with concrete/time constrained demands. (Chore schedules, parenting rules, etc.) Step 2: counseling Step 3: divorce ultimatum (do x, y, z or divorce) Step 4: separation Step 5: divorce People jump to step 5 because they think they're past hope on 1 through 4. Sometimes that's right but divorce is so rough that I can't imagine it's not worth a try for most people barring heavy…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 12:23 PM
2

I ran into a similar problem. Ex moved 1 hour away from me. 50/50 doesn't really work because of school. I can't drive to school and back twice a day 1 hour and neither can she. So we landed on alternating weekends and for week days she gets the school year and I get the summer. It landed this way because the schools where she moved are better and I'm supporting my elderly parents whereas her parents help with childcare. So her getting the larger portion seemed better for the kid. Don't know if …
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 07:58 PM
6

My ex did the same. We ended up hashing it out in the settlement that we would alternate who got the credit each year since we were 50/50. But once it's not 50/50 it legally goes to whoever has majority custody.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 08:26 PM
1

Generally speaking, you're going to be entitled to the premarital value and not much else.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 08:25 PM
1

You have to pay for it. That's really the great divider for most men. Because otherwise you're swiping through hundreds of women who aren't interested or even dead profiles. Compare that to just getting to see which women are interested and all that effort gets done for you. Hinge is probably the most popular right now.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 08:06 PM
2

Yeah I definitely had a vision of the future where we could sometimes come together for the kid, but at this point my ex won't be in the same room as me. Not that I had dreams of reconciliation but I had a vision of a world where we could still do things like ocassionally have a meal together or go on an outing if it was for the kid's benefit. That doesn't jive with hers. You'd have thought that things would be in reverse since I divorced her after finding out affair. But nope. Doesn't matter if…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 08:37 PM
6

Having to do the same since the first two times ended up making plans with the ex wife for a shared party and both times she canceled last second and then made a whole new set of plans without me. It would be one thing to just say she wanted separate parties in the first place but that shit was straight up malicious.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 06:27 PM
2

The state bar association often has referral pages that might be helpful and provide better reviews than Google or yelp. Those are often doctored or biased because more people with bad experiences tend to leave reviews than positive
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 03:03 PM
1

You can check your stage law but if there weren't separation papers I don't think she has a leg to stand on Married people can live in different countries much less different rooms.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 02:25 PM
2

I really do think that since the lawyers have your financial records they just drag it out until they see you have nothing left.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:58 AM
2

Most of y’all have wives that spend money without a relationship with reality. The universality of that is staggering. My ex spent her 70k of the settlement money within 1.5 years and I'm spending the next 7 years recovering.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:56 AM
1

In my state, assets are split even for assets gained during separation. Check if that's the case and you basically get your money back unless she's blown it all on non-assets (say a vacation, rent, etc.) If she tries to hide it you can file discovery or subpoena bank records but it's like 7k for discovery and 3k per subpoena.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:53 AM
3

Worked for me but the bar was ridiculous. You have to prove by a preponderance of evidence that they had penetrative sex. I had a video and 10 months worth of texts so I was actually able to hit that bar. Some states allow other scenarios for fault divorce like abandonment, drug use or physical abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:47 AM
1

... well thats probably going to get you in deep shit if it's discovered. And even if you don't want an ethics lecture, I'd advise for tour own mental health that whatever you do, you're going to have to look yourself in the mirror for the rest of your life and ask if you're the bad guy. I'm pretty proud of the fact that despite my ex doing quite a lot of heinous stuff, I still kept my integrity in tact in dealing with things in a way that I saw as just. With that in mind, I can see doing ethica…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 04:45 AM
1

I'd try marriage counseling first but it's difficult to say what the odds of getting back on track would be for it. Resentment is a hell of a thing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 06:15 PM
2

Good for you man. I'm glad it worked out decently for you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 06:13 PM
3

Yeah, it's daunting. I dont want to throw my hat in the ring at this point and also because I got burned really bad in my divorce. I'll be working down the debt for the next 5 years and don't think I can trust anyone anymore due to cheating. No way I can feel good after moving in together, buying a house together, getting married and having a kid just for my ex to toss it out the window when she gets a Facebook message from a crush and decides to funnel money to him for a year. That's the full g…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 07:13 PM
5

Thats one thing that's heavy on my mind about it. I'd need a prenup on terms that are fair but would never be agreed to. no alimony assets are split based on percentage of household income. the house and retirement accounts would be split by percentage contributed by each partner to the retirement account and mortgage broadly defined infidelity causes the cheater to have to pay all legal expenses of the divorce and a year of therapy. If I'd set that out on my first marriage, I'd probably be 50k …
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 05:03 PM
2

The odds on that whole thing are just miserable. 60% is the baseline divorce rate for second marriages. If you have a kid it goes up 5% and if they also have a kid, another 5% About 30% of marriages list report themselves as unhappily married. So we're talking like a 80% rate of getting a bad outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 03:56 PM
1

My lawyer from the divorce said that despite her having the tie breaker decision on which school the kid goes to, anything that would reasonably deny my custody would be a basis for changing custody in my favor if she moved. But it's more the practical issues than the legal ones here. 9 months solo parenting and taking care of elderly parents would be a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 09:02 PM
2

I get that, my current child support calculation was an abomination. Basically the state said that my kid should cost about 13k a month for both of us. With 50/50 that means we should each spend $650 a piece. Since I make more they said that my obligation would be 800 and hers 500. How much is my payment? 300 because some genius thought "why don't we just subtract the small number from the bigger one" So I start with 800, but then lose 300 She starts with 500 and gains 300 So for the 2 weeks I'm…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 05:23 PM
10

That was the playbook in mine. She spent nearly a year coming up with totally nuts reasons to get a divorce. not letting her get inflatable Halloween decorations not paying for 100% of her gas and pumping it for her not pushing the grocery cart at the store 100% of the time for her Nothing at all to do with her getting messaged by her high school crush on Facebook and already been making marriage plans with or trying to save face.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 09:32 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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