SignifyingNothing5 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
6	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment	Discussion	SignifyingNothing5	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 05:32 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment Key words "act like a loser". If these standards leave you with less self respect, that can't help you with women or anyone else.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:21 PM
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment I contend that these things are "true" to some extent because we go along.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:19 PM
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment Women aren't off the hook. They may not say to specifically rank yourself, but they express their preferences in ways that feed into men's anxieties. And I don't mean simply saying they like X or Y, but that X or Y is just better than an alternative. Like it's gospel. But, individual men don't have to listen to that and if we weren't primed to rank ourselves it would matter less.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:18 PM
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment "Men just seem more prone to assigning numbers to things and plotting them on a graph." I agree that we are. I do it too, but t's often self defeating. Even when we score high, we have to defend that status. Shits exhausting.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:09 PM
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment Good alternative approach.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:08 PM
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment I disagree that it doesn't matter what you think of yourself. Thinking more highly of yourself may not change anyone's opinion of you regarding where you rank on X scale, but it can prompt people to see you in a positive light generally. Why not see that as a win?	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:07 PM
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment And a select few men win historically, and the rest were cannon fodder.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:05 PM
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment And your belief in your ability to make your life work despite challenges.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:04 PM
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment Women buy into these things too to varying degrees, but I think some women are interested in men who say "fuck that standard".	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:04 PM
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment Disregarding hierarchies when they harm us, yes. I'm not saying that's easy, but these "measures" are there for us to conform to. Why go along?	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:02 PM
–	Men rank themselves, to our own detriment I agree, though I wouldn't say silly ways to measure success so much as unhealthy. Do you think men are inherently silly or unhealthy, or aybe we're encouraged to think this way? And again, not necessarily by women though women may contribute.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 06:00 PM
–	It's important for BOTH genders to have their feelings of inferiority/disadvantage validated. But that has to be believable. Leaders tend to have qualities like charisma and to some extent physical characteristics that impress or inspire people. Those characteristics are inspiring precisely because they're not possessed by everyone. When one person is leading, someone else is being led.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 02:41 PM
–	It's important for BOTH genders to have their feelings of inferiority/disadvantage validated. Those societal and familial lessons are hard to unlearn, especially for people who haven't succeeded by the standards they've been taught to meet. And while I'm not disagreeing with you, in your second paragraph you list some pretty typical male expectations like being a leader or taking charge. While a man can mostly guide his own life, by definition a leader has excelled others to reach that spot. And if he can't.....he may feel inferior to those who can.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 02:19 PM
–	Why do some women seem to refuse facts to remain miserable? This thread is obviously a counter to the dick thread. What's interesting, or striking, is that the answer here is that anorexia is a disorder and so of course people with it, by definition, don't have a realistic view of their body, their weight, and so on. Anorexia and body dysmorphia are different but related and people with anorexia often have both. I just scanned the top 30 or 40 comments in the dick thread and I don't think body dysmorphia was mentioned. The theme there is that men are jus…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 01:59 PM
–	It's important for BOTH genders to have their feelings of inferiority/disadvantage validated. Why do you think so many men feel inferior, or maybe more precisely are terrified of being inferior? Clearly, some men here are doing a number on themselves and even easing up a bit would help them, but they have to know that. so why persist?	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 01:42 PM
–	What should a late virgin do? It's not lying to not tell someone you're a virgin.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/04/24 01:19 PM
2	Is it fair to say something about a woman existing as a self-sufficient relatively accomplished adult turns off many men even if she's a kind beautiful woman? So it's an indistinct term that an mean different things. That makes it tough to evaluate the assertion.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/04/24 04:05 PM
3	Is it fair to say something about a woman existing as a self-sufficient relatively accomplished adult turns off many men even if she's a kind beautiful woman? No, I don't believe it's fair to say that many men are turned off by accomplished, self sufficient women. I'm interpreting many to mean a pretty significant majority.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/04/24 01:11 PM
3	How Women Actually Use Dating Apps No, I think it's deceptive. Every other stat I've seen suggests the ratio is 60-40 men up to 80-20 men. The rest of the post is a rehash of various points that get made here often. Some of those points have merit, and I'll add that your presentation of those points is pretty calm while others go on a screed, so good for you. But it you're saying that on average women are aware of more men who are interested in them than men are, I'd say that's true and it was that way long before digital dating …	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/04/24 05:37 PM
2	How Women Actually Use Dating Apps You quote the #s 59% and 50%, and those #s appear to say why women use the apps and why men do. 59% of the women using apps use them looking for a serious relationship, and 50% of men using them stated that motivation. Doesn't say what % use them in total.	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/04/24 05:17 PM
20	Bluepill men exhibit the same "toxic masculine" traits that all men do, they just perform mental gymnastics to avoid shame I don't see women as some resource to exploit. I probably like the same things any straight red pilled man likes. We just have different rules of engagement, and since I'm not at war with women, I engage them as people and see where things go.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/04/24 03:33 PM
–	Most relationships end because men take advantage of their partner and stop putting in effort. Both men and women tend to "let themselves go" emotionally, getting emotionally flabby and complacent as they become comfortable with each other. Same with same sex couples. Some don't but most do. We'd all be wise to both try a little harder to maintain some of that early energy, along with accepting that it will inevitably wane somewhat,	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/04/24 03:18 PM
1	Two side of the same coin ? But Bernie knows this, so he's culpable.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/24 08:53 PM
–	Women accept being alone better than men You're right. This sub is pretty internetty.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/24 08:35 PM
1	A more comprehensive post on why women handle being alone better than men, and why we need to find solutions to that. This is key. As a man I see understandable reasons why this fix is harder for men to rely on, but it's still a good fix to deal with a down time, however long, with dating and romantic relationships. Also likely to leave the man more appealing (healthier, less stressed) should someone enter his life he's interested in,	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/24 08:31 PM
3	A more comprehensive post on why women handle being alone better than men, and why we need to find solutions to that. Sometimes people make the claim that a feeling or a circumstance is widespread, when it may or may not be. An individual's feelings are theirs and silly to argue with, but a claim that everyone or most people feel the same seems worth testing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/24 08:25 PM
–	Women accept being alone better than men Your point is valid. Romantic relationships add meaning to people's lives, like those other things do. But most people aren't advancing science, studying history, or creating art, so their relationships, romantic and otherwise, are a big component of their life's meaning. Romance might not be the ice cream in the sundae, but it's more than the cherry on top.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/24 03:11 PM
–	Women accept being alone better than men So it seems you have a brief window of time where that emotional connection can happen, otherwise the chance is lost. Wanting that connection and knowing you're emotions work in a way that makes it really rare has to be a challenge. When I used the word "choice" I didn't mean to imply that you were being haughty. I was referring more to your choice to follow your emotions even if they lead you to being alone, because the alternative would feel forced. Not that my opinion matters, but that seems …	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/24 02:56 PM
–	Women accept being alone better than men I'm a guy so take that into account, OP. I'm sure there are many women like you who go unnoticed because you seldom speak out about your situation. Women typically deal with depression or with lingering sadness that isn't clinically depression by turning inward, often blaming themselves. Men tend to turn outward, blaming others and spmetimes acting out. You see that in this thread where some turn hostile in response to your vulnerability. Assholes gonna asshole. I appreciate your comment and if …	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/24 02:43 PM
–	Women accept being alone better than men That makes sense. I don't mean to interrogate you, but your answers interest me and they may shed some light on the fairly recent phenomenon of women choosing to be alone and being open about that. For you personally, can an emotional connection develop over time? So if you spent time with or around someone at work or school or in some social setting might you start to feel an emotional bond?	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/24 02:32 PM
–	Women accept being alone better than men Another person responding to you said you sound shallow. I think you sound rational and you're making the best choice for you from among options you don't much like. That's a tough place to be. If men have shown interest in you but you weren't attracted to them, is there a pattern to the things that lead you to feel not attracted. Like do they or their lives or values repulse you, or is there more an absence of things that draw you in?	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/04/24 01:41 PM
–	"Everybody dies alone" No shit, but a lot of men are spending their prime years alone It seems like there's less willingness for some average people to get tohether, compared to times past. A fair # of seemingly credible women here say that while being average themselves, they're not interested in average men. I suspect that a decent # of men complaining feel the same, but try to get together with average women and fail at a high rate because enough women would rather stay single. I'm not suggesting that those women date men they don't want to, especially since I doubt the men re…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/04/24 04:55 PM
–	"Everybody dies alone" No shit, but a lot of men are spending their prime years alone Probably a reference to getting "trimmed off".	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/04/24 04:38 PM
–	"Everybody dies alone" No shit, but a lot of men are spending their prime years alone By definition, most people are mediocre. So most people suck. Got it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/04/24 04:31 PM
–	"Everybody dies alone" No shit, but a lot of men are spending their prime years alone There's a significant minority of women who say, maybe just for effect, but they say that while being average or below average themselves, average men don't interest them. I'm sure some so-so men say or feel the same, but the "box your weight" advice may be less useful than it once was.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/04/24 04:23 PM
2	Actually, getting into a relationship DOES fix many problems for you Might you say it accusingly, like men are incapable of being that kind of close friend to another man? Results the same, but men aren't generally brought up to be too close to men. I'm not saying that's good, but it's common. It's unlikely that we can't since some men do, but it's rless common in male friendships so either we're just fundamentally flawed, or we've been shortchanged in our development.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/24 09:58 PM
29	Actually, getting into a relationship DOES fix many problems for you Women are understandably reluctant to be seen as men's saviors in these scenarios, even when the woman wants that relationship but may not be aware she's saving anyone. That's a lot to ask. And there's a long history generally which runs right up to this minute in some circles wherein women are perceived as characters in men's lives. Again, who wants that? I don't want that as a man so why would a woman? But that leads to some over reach in response. Relationships can indeed be healthy and proba…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/04/24 09:51 PM
9	What percentage of female posters here are trolls? It's common for men here to engage in hyperbole. When someone responds to that, they may respond in kind. "I've never seen a man under 5'6" in a relationship", might be responded to with ""height isn't a dating disadvantage for men". Writing the bolded out of context seems pretty trolly. In context, it's no more unrealistic than the italicized comment. This place also wears down otherwise reasonable people. I think at the very least young men are going through a period of adjustment and some are…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/04/24 03:00 PM
4	Is There Such Thing as an "INVALID" Reason to Not Date Someone? They don't want the woman to keep their strong preference and still date them, they wish she didn't have the strong preference. Men in particular try to make a rational argument of that wish, but the source is still a futile emotional desire that reality be different.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/04/24 04:19 PM
1	Is There Such Thing as an "INVALID" Reason to Not Date Someone? There are no invalid reasons. There are reasons that seem trivial and there are people who can make non trivial reasons sound pretty vapid in the way they express them. But that makes me understand the frustration of the person being rejected, rather than leading me to think the rejector is wrong. Regarding wanting to be in a relationship with someone who let's say thinks eyebrow color matching hair color is a turn off, I wouldn't. But I can understand and I've experienced feeling like a single …	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/04/24 02:43 PM
–	Being slightly neurodivergent is more of a dealbreaker for most women than being a complete scumbag Having said that I'm not sure why you have to create the dichotomy ND vs scumbags I suspect your question is rhetorical, but the OP may be displaying a little self pity (and hyperbole) while illustrating his point. We live in moments, and those moments determine who we like and who likes us. Socially adjusted people who handle those moments well connect with people who once connected may overlook qualities that don't tend to spoil the moment.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/03/24 04:29 PM
1	Women will always have options, men need to create opportunities to have options. Two things. If men made their point the way that you did above I think it would be better received. I've seen women acknowledge their dating advantages relative to men, most often when someone is straightforward like you were, and sometimes when a man is just hurting. But too often men say things over the top that elicit proportionate repsonses. But I still don't see the benefit of making the comparison. Noticing it, sure. But some men (don't know your posting history so you're likely an excepti…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/24 08:27 PM
3	Women will always have options, men need to create opportunities to have options. Not debating the main point that almost all men need to handle dating proactively. What I will debate is the necessity of pairing that statement with "Women will always have options". They often do, and many reasonable women here and IRL will agree with that. But how does it help men to constantly go on about that comparison? It doesn't help these discussions, it often comes across as accusatory and as thinly disguised whining, and it makes men who are feeling a little hopeless and stuck feel wo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/03/24 02:04 PM
2	What is happening to men? I am concerned I don't think that's fair. A lot of men are beaten down trauma victims who are trying to figure out who they are as men, and the only clear models are men who paradoxically wouldn't get beaten down and if they were wouldn't ask for help. We don't have to take what's offered, but so much of the received wisdom on being a man or male child expects us all to be that one guy who can overpower his circumstances. I don't subscribe to any of that for a second, but it still weighs on me. I can see how i…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/03/24 11:30 PM
4	What is happening to men? I am concerned You're right about the grifters and the dynamic of the manosphere, but those men who are struggling are like any struggling group, longing to be heard. And when no one steps forward to listen, the grifters jump in. I don't think women can do much to help the decent men who are the collateral damage of social and economic and in some cases political changes. It's not that women shouldn't help, it's that too many of the men would be skeptical for reasons that I understand but I don't think are acc…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/03/24 11:15 PM
1	A double standard i’ve noticed with how a notable amount women react to online dating content directed at men vs women If the methods are based on sexist assumptions about women and you use those methods, then yes.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/03/24 02:34 PM
5	A double standard i’ve noticed with how a notable amount women react to online dating content directed at men vs women As a man leaning left and blue, I still see some of what you are referring to, OP. But I think part of it is the demographic here. It seems that the women on PPD are frankly more functional on average than the men. We often have a dynamic where a relatively inexperiened (dating and life) and often frustrated man is getting advice or maybe pushback on some odd ideas from a more experienced woman. I think the men often envy the experiences the women have had, and it's really difficult to manage yo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/03/24 01:58 PM
–	What's your dating unpopular opinion? Something you truly believe, but would get you down voted? Men who subscribe to the RP are projecting their own tendencies onto women on some of the key points. Like "if I had women's options I'd take do X and Y", and they then decide that's "women'as nature". Some women do, but far more men would if they could. It's "men's nature". Being a man, I kind of know.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/24 02:36 PM
–	Is the fate of being settled for, unavoidable? I can buy the notion that the typical man is not the most arousing specimen to the typical woman. But do you really think most women are the pinnacle of beauty to most men? Look around. Consciously or not people who are not that attractive typically look for other qualities they like in a person, and hope for a physical trait or two that appeals to them. In that way they get with or try to get with the best person for them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/24 02:24 PM
–	What's your dating unpopular opinion? Something you truly believe, but would get you down voted? I agree, but communication includes stating needs and evaluating responses. Sometimes good communication is necessary to end a relationship that ought to end.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/03/24 01:22 PM
2	How do women emotionally move on from relationships so quickly? Not always. If there's bit of real wisdom and insight this site offers it's that women are more able to alone than men are. I think that defines much of the interaction between us. Men to (too) often give up their power because they're desperate and they make peace with that by blinding themselves to their partners legitimate concerns, but also to their own. Like if I admit I'm unhappy I'll have to do something about it and risk being alone.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/24 05:27 PM
1	Why is being overconfident seen as so much better than having low confidence? As someone who is quiet by nature I feel your pain. I think it's best to accept that people like to be acitvely engaged, and most are able and willing to actively engage others to keep the engagement flowing. Enaging others is the giving part of a social give and take. It's easier and more natural for some to do, but that doesn't change the basic dynamic.	/r/ExRedPill	15/03/24 05:22 PM
0	Followup to the 'all women are 10's' discussion. How women outside of PPD respond to women declaring themselves 10's (or less than 10's) and how women punish you for not following the script You clearly do get emotional. You dress up your emotional response as an exercise in detached logical inquiry.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/24 05:09 PM
1	How do women emotionally move on from relationships so quickly? To be fair though, under the general belief that a bad relationship usually takes two people to make it bad, by the time a woman leaves most men are done with her shit too. We're just blind to the good fortune that may have come our way.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/24 05:01 PM
2	Followup to the 'all women are 10's' discussion. How women outside of PPD respond to women declaring themselves 10's (or less than 10's) and how women punish you for not following the script But your level of concern about this particular topic is also telling. The underlying psychology doesn't seem healthy to me and declaring yourself above the fray, a detached observer, while your behavior indicates the opposite is just masking it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/24 04:50 PM
3	Followup to the 'all women are 10's' discussion. How women outside of PPD respond to women declaring themselves 10's (or less than 10's) and how women punish you for not following the script Two threads in two days. You seem quite motivated to uncover.....something. Several women here have offered credible explanations for why women might want to subvert this process. But let's say for the sake of discussion that the women are all delusional to some extent. Can you explain whay that concerns you? And saying that being delusional is bad isn't really a clear explanation. What harm is done by women on a cringe worthy TikTok video (who are these men and why do women play along at all?) …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/24 04:41 PM
1	You can't change what you're attracted to. But most people can compromise on certain preferences. We tend to warm up to traits we're exposed to, but that's not a conscious choice and it has pretty severe limits. It's more like frequently seeing a body type you were neutral about and thinking, "I kind of like that", rather than training yourself to like traits you really don't care for. But I've heard people talking about someone they know is interested in them and saying something like, "they're fine, but I see myself with someone more X or Y. Especially if you're not finding people to date …	/r/PurplePillDebate	14/03/24 01:30 PM
-2	How a major lack of media literacy is affecting people’s view on relationships and the opposite gender And you're an expert on women, and virtue, because you fuck married women?	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/03/24 03:49 PM
5	Men's self worth and general perception in society is tied to their success with women. I think it's more accurate that society offers some praise or validation for "success with women", and men accept the offer. We don't have to, but it's a pretty compelling offer so it's easy to see why we do. The problem is that if we're going to essentially grade ourselves on this (we shouldn't), we should really grade on a curve. The playing field is not level for lots of reasons.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/03/24 02:10 PM
5	Men's self worth and general perception in society is tied to their success with women. Men rip each other to shreds and often do so using each other's sexual success or lack as a weapon.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/03/24 01:37 PM
2	Is it hypocritical for an experienced man to want an inexperienced woman? I assume you want someone with less experience for a relationship, right? So do you think you, a man-whore, are relationship material but a woman like you isn't?	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/03/24 09:04 PM
10	How significant of a factor is slut shaming in reducing the amount that women sleep around or pursue men on average (compared to other factors). Not a woman, but I think it matters. People's potential negative judgments about a woman who has sex outside of a relationship are part of the cost she bears for her decision. It can make sex emotionally expensive for her.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/03/24 08:06 PM
2	What experiences or observations do you think leads to someone being “misandrist”? What experiences or observations do you think leads to someone being “misogynistic”? Confirmation bias. It's like there's something in the air or more likely in our make up making us a little suspicious of "other" groups whose lives we can't fully understand. You go looking for confirmation of those suspicions and you'll find it. That can snowball from distrust to dislike to outright hatred if unchecked.And some people who aren't naturally suspicious and have little or no bias to confirm have genuinely shitty experiences that shape their views and behavior. That doesn't excuse r…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 10:38 PM
2	Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline. So you see the problemas economic, and I agree that's an aspect of this. But the prospect of scrambling to afford children and then possibly breaking up is a real disincedntive for men and women to have kids. As all this might pertain to dating, if kids are a luxury most people can't easily afford and even if they can it's more risky finacially than in the past, one of the main incentives to marry is less compelling. If dating isn't a step toward marriage (not every date but the process) for man…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 08:24 PM
2	Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline. Six years means something. I was asking to see if you appeared to have the traits that make you a decent partner in a relationship. I hope you take this the way I intend it, but when I refer to people, mostly men on the margins, I mean men who need a break to get into a relationship, but who may be good in that relationship. And without that break they may not have that experience to enjoy and learn from if it ends as most relationships do. I wish you luck if you're looking still. You said you w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 07:10 PM
1	Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline. Is your relationship life fairly successful. Not all relationships last and that's not necessarily anyone's fault, but do you think you do relationships well?	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 06:39 PM
3	Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline. There's some validity to that, but the stats don't tell the whole story. Some people aren't good marriage partners, ever. Many aren't prior to the late 20s or early 30s. Delaying marriage can put pressure on people if they want kids, but a bad marriage that produces kids when the couple id in their mid 20s isn't great for anyone either.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 06:37 PM
6	Why whenever a divorce post is made the scenario is always assumes the woman met the man before he gets money. Maybe it's that when two people start on equal footing, the stuff they accumulate doesn't belong to him, even if he's working and she's not. He agreed to that arrangement and she bears a cost if they break up, so is it really right to leave him with all the assets they accumulated?. When there's spousal support as part of a divorce, it's almost always time limited gets back on her professional feet. Both those arrangements seem fair to me.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 06:32 PM
1	Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline. At least I'm not lost now.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 06:25 PM
3	Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline. Unfortunately, that's a huge turn off. I wish men instead sunk more energy into creating a life that really enjoy living the fuck out of, and then getting women would be easy for them as ordering coffee is. This sounds great, but how does it work again? Men who go out and conquer the world always have women interested in them, true, but there's only so much world to conquer.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 06:09 PM
1	Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline. I think there is evidence that dating has changed and for the worse for some people, but what stats are you referring to?	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 05:58 PM
13	Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline. I think OLD and especially apps are to socializing what junk food is to nutrition. There's an immediacy to it that some of us can't handle. People it works for may over rely on it, and get mentally or emotionally fat. People aren't happy being fat in the flesh, but we're having a tough time getting any thinner. I hope you're right about a shift in dating, but how do you see this shift coming about? Long term unhappiness often loses out to short term pleasure.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 05:55 PM
17	Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline. In 1980 I was in high school. The guys getting female attention then looked pretty much like the guys getting female attention now (just with weird hair). My experience also, and I'm guessing I'm a decade or so older than you. But I do think that there's a group of men whose place in the dating world is less secure than it was 40 years ago, and I think tech has a lot to do with that. Those guys who might have had a GF by senior year in HS and maybe another more mature relationship in college and…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 03:23 PM
5	Online dating has permanently damaged the way we perceive and value others, both online and offline. It depends on how much change constitutes change. Tech hasn't changed dating so dramatically that it's unrecognizable. So the OP's claim is hyperbole. From a man's perspective, the traits that made dating easy or hard for a man in 1980 are the same traits that impact dating now. To use a # another poster cited, if 68% of relationships are starting in traditional ways, then 32% aren't. Granted some of that 32% met in online venues that are not dating oriented, but if only a third of those 32% mee…	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/03/24 01:47 PM
8	Women standards aren’t high, it’s just too many guys are too desperate to not be single. Too many men are desperate, agreed. Some % of those men would find a satisfying dating life if all they did was become noiticeably less desperate, but every desperate man would be more content generally by zenning out. Men relating their experiences to those of similar some women is also a classic example of comparison stealing joy or at least a shot at contentment. So sure. And I'm not leading up to a "but". I'd just add that dating dynamics make it easier for an ordinary woman to benefit from …	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/03/24 04:58 PM
0	Women standards aren’t high, it’s just too many guys are too desperate to not be single. None of these are problems I'm curious. Are you saying these things are common but nor problems, or are you saying they're not commonly help beliefs or attitudes, so not a problem on that basis? Or however defined are those things not problems because dating etc. is a personal endeavor and you define "problem" as societal?	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/03/24 04:48 PM
8	Every modern dating problem can be summarized into “Too little respect, Too much hubris” Also not seeing the disrespect. She may not have been open to a friendship, or the lack of a connection might have precluded that in her eyes. Feeling a little hurt or disappointed doesn't mean you were disrespected.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/24 09:26 PM
2	Female Attraction Standards Waffleznstuff's point is a big part of this. These are generalizations but they seem supported by women here, namely that women typically need to see something special or attention piquing in a man to be interested. Even women who themselves don't possess any special qualities or are not themselves attention piquing. This is what seems verifiably different from even 30 or 40 years ago. So these men are pretty unremarkable. Men like them 30 or 40 years ago might have been decent marriage prospect…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/24 07:07 PM
0	Would you give an attractive ex-pornstar a shot if she quit porn and was aggressively pursuing you? Do you really believe that?	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/24 05:13 AM
6	Why do a lot of straight men have a hard time accepting their partner's sexual experiences (especially when it comes to an extended amount of casual sex)? My mistake then. I admit that "man specific" and language like that is so often meant as an insult that I took it that way. Sorry if I seemed snarky. I think I'm genuinely at peace with the ways my partner and I are different, but as I said it comes at a cost. I don't know if I was ever a woman's "sexy, fun, and easy", but I might have been. So it's not really a reminder of some lack I feel I see in myself. It's that I can't see how I would have been her "sexy, fun, and easy". That matters, and …	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/24 05:09 AM
7	Why do a lot of straight men have a hard time accepting their partner's sexual experiences (especially when it comes to an extended amount of casual sex)? Such an interesting, man specific perception And your perception is woman specific. It's almost like men and women sometimes see the world differently, and there's no basis to claim that one perception is right and the other wrong.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/03/24 04:07 AM
1	Do Any of You WANT An Arranged Marriage? Why? Who Should Arrange it? God no.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/24 07:17 PM
13	Why do a lot of straight men have a hard time accepting their partner's sexual experiences (especially when it comes to an extended amount of casual sex)? Sexy, easy, and fun r great qualities until it's time to start building a life Somewhat repeating what Tokiminatakanimekat said but taking it in a different direction. The idea of me missing out in my best years or even more so her giving hers to someone else, or several someone elses isn't my concern. My partner has a much more extensive and varied past than me. I can deal with tnat. We met mid life and our time together has been good so why fuck that up, right? But after we had been together l…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/24 07:13 PM
3	Feminism encourages women to never take accountability for their poor decisions when it comes to choosing incorrectly So this feminism accountability thing just reeks of someone wanting to bring back the pillory and scarlet letters.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/03/24 03:08 PM
3	When self-proclaimed “nice guys” say that they are “good guys,” what “good” traits are they talking about? You can't assume that men who feel overlooked because they are, well, overlooked are not nice. Some evince not niceness here so there's a decent chance they're not nice elsewhere, but there's a chance they save the bitterness for a safe, anonymous landing spot online. That's the full quote from my comment. Below I quote you. "I notice that a lot of self proclaimed “nice guys” claim to be of “good” character, but let some of them speak, and one does not sense any of those traits. In fact, sometim…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/24 08:59 PM
2	When self-proclaimed “nice guys” say that they are “good guys,” what “good” traits are they talking about? Some evince not niceness here so there's a decent chance they're not nice elsewhere, but there's a chance they save the bitterness for a safe, anonymous landing spot online. It's in this statement. If you're addressing men here, which seems likely, then some of the men who seem bitter or possessed of some other trait you dislike may not be, but may be venting in a manner contrary to their typical comportment offline.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/03/24 06:08 PM
0	Why Do Manosphere Dudes Get Mad At Women Having Options Instead of Other Men for GIVING Them Those Options? So to some extent you and obviousredflag are saying that it's predictable that more young men will struggle with dating than young men did a generation or two ago. That means there's something systematically affecting these men that's beyond their immediate control. It's theirs to deal with, their responsibility, but then dealing with shit is another of the casualties of being raised the way they were. That's interesting because the consistent tone and sometimes explicit content of a lot of both…	/r/PurplePillDebate	05/03/24 05:57 PM
1	What's the best strategy for betabuxxers? If he’s ugly, he’s going to have to settle for ugly. Same for her. And that’s fine. If someone wants a relationship, they have to choose from among the people actually available to them so in that sense I agree with you, though the word "fine" seems dismissive of some people's deal. You probably don't mean that, but it strikes me that way. As is said on here so often, you can't force or negotiate attraction. It's not hard to imagine someone who is average looking at best who can't find anyone th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/24 04:41 PM
3	What happened to "if she is like that, she's not really worth being with"? Most men deal with something like scarcity where potential partners is concerned. Then a subset of men let that scarcity dictate too much of how they think, feel, and behave socially. Some desperation sets in. So for those men the mere idea of ruling out a significant group of women feels like social suicide. For that class of men, most men, we have to accept, genuinely and sincerely, the real challenges of dating and the tendency we may have to exaggerate those challenges. We have to accept tha…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/02/24 03:03 PM
2	Most of the advice women give automatically weeds out introverted men I'm a classic introvert by nature and also somewhat socially avoidant by experience. Being an introverted adolescent with a serious trauma history left me on the outside looking in and stunted my social development, which led to bad experiences. Not understanding introversion and so not knowing how to manage it made those feelings of needing to recharge seem like here we go again into a pit of failure. I still hate that drained feeling 50 years later. But whether a person is introverted or has s…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/24 08:12 PM
–	If a man wouldn’t want the women in his life being in porn, then his feelings about porn are pretty anti-porn. I think it's a lot like women who genuinely are not homophobic being uncomfortable dating a man who is bisixual or who has some history of se with other men. It could also be that porn is in the realm of fantasy, a fantasy some people don't want too close to their reality.	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/24 03:08 PM
2	Why therapy doesn't work for men and trauma dumping clarity I'm a big proponent of therapy. It helps men and women pretty equally when they seek therapy and work on their issues by keeping an open mind and being really present in sessions and by doing further reading, assignments, skill practice, etc. outside of sessions. If men can't see this or do but won't take advantage of therapy, then the mental health community is failing those men. The larger culture that subtly and not so subtly reinforces the "masculine" ideals that are barriers to men seeking …	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/02/24 09:19 PM
5	Most men are struggling to find their equivalent, which is why TRP has not only spilled over into the mainstream but become common sense In your opinion, what are some redpill-light ideas?	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/02/24 08:19 PM
2	You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole. I think those traits can look strained on Cera especially, and to some extent on Hart. I think men like that often fumble around at being masculine in part because they don't look the part. Women will doubt and other men will test unassuming looking men whose behavior defies their appearance. Wanting to be a little hopeful, I will add that there is a lane for such men but they have to pick their spots well or they'll look like posers and get treated as such. I can find that lane, but it's a toug…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/02/24 01:52 AM
3	You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole. I don't think the word bully appears in your OP. Your second bullet point is about water being wet, or some such. My point is that yours is incomplete. Good looks shine on behavior, sure. But Dark Triad behavior/traits highlight a man's looks. His shit behavior isn't just tolerated because he's good looking, the shit behavior is part of the appeal. And you may say only to damaged women, but so many women and men are damaged to some extent that only is an odd qualifier.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/02/24 01:42 AM
6	You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole. Lots of research and many people's experience shows that male bullies are quite popular with women.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/02/24 12:37 AM
-1	You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole. What is your point in posting this, OP? I think you have a point, though suggesting that most men don't know how to be Ryan Gosling or Denzel Washington prompts me to note that Ryan and Denzel couldn't quite be themselves if they looked like Michael Cera or Kevin Hart. They'd have to be a good nebbish or a good clown, or a bad Ryzel. So it has to be more to your comment than stating that good looking men with any prosocial aptitude at all play life on easy mode so get over it and make me laugh. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/02/24 12:32 AM
1	You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole. Pagliacci smiles at this Through the tears.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/02/24 08:32 PM
2	If a guy truly wants a healthy, romantic relationship, he wouldn’t be jealous of assholes that pumps and dumps and/or stay in toxic relationships. That's most common, not most serious. Bars and similar environments are places where casual hookups are more likely to happen.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/24 06:24 PM
7	If a guy truly wants a healthy, romantic relationship, he wouldn’t be jealous of assholes that pumps and dumps and/or stay in toxic relationships. I think men feel that assholes are occupying the time of enough women that there is a decent chance that he'll later fall for a woman who has been with one or more asshole men. The women these concerned men are most likely to feel attracted to are not flaming lunatics themselves. The assholes the woman got with were often either very charming or relatively good looking compared to the men who usually approached her or responded to her approaches. This let her avert her eyes from the small red fl…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/24 03:28 PM
6	If a guy truly wants a healthy, romantic relationship, he wouldn’t be jealous of assholes that pumps and dumps and/or stay in toxic relationships. Isn't that like saying most serious car accidents happen at high speeds?	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/02/24 03:05 PM
6	She isn’t “withholding” sex from you. She simply doesn’t feel like having sex. I agree with your basic point that she isn't withholding sex or punishing the man when she's just not interested. Men use those words to get an emotional edge in the discussion, just like many women do when their partner doesn't want to fuck them. It's painful to be or to feel like the less desired one in the couple.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/02/24 07:20 PM
1	Men have one type of attraction. Women have multiple, and theyre not the same Where is "the study" mentioned in the OP?	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/02/24 07:12 PM
3	When it comes to romantic, or frankly any kind of relationship, love must be conditional. I can buy "selfless" and honestly that's how I feel about the person I'm with, but there are conditions underpinning my (our) willingness to be selfless.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/02/24 05:28 PM
14	When it comes to romantic, or frankly any kind of relationship, love must be conditional. I've never for a second believed that love is unconditional. I've only seen this idea espoused in manosphere and manosphere friendly spaces and oddly enough as a virtue men possess but women lack. I say oddly because in my experience no one loves unconditionally and men fail to approximate that state to a greater extent than women do.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/02/24 04:00 PM
5	If men don't want to be chosen for being "providers" - why do they advertise themselves this way? I'm way out of the dating market and providing was never much of what I have to offer, but I can relate to feeling a little, I don't know, pressured in that regard. For me I was sometimes viewed as a failure and informed of such because I wasn't in a field that paid especially well. For men who don't like the expectation but still feel the need to report that they meet the expectation, maybe it's a bit like women who resent the effort they feel they need to put into their looks yet still put in …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/02/24 09:37 PM
2	If the game itself is not fair, does it justify not playing fair to get what you want? People who need an edge often can't get away with doing the things that give them an edge. Pushing people's boundaries or persuading them to suspend their good sense is most possible in the soft glow (or distracting glare) of being attractive. It's not just a game and people can get hirt (hirt?, hurt) so I son't mean to be flippant, but if it was, the most naturally gifted players can often cheat, while the rgular players almost never can. And scrubs will get laughed out of the game for trying t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/02/24 02:36 PM
2	If the game itself is not fair, does it justify not playing fair to get what you want? They might use capitalist tactics they see as wrong, like hiring sketchy lobbyists, running smear campaigns, etc. against their capitalist opponents in an election. Do with dating, be more ruthless mostly toward other men in his case. If people are willing and sometimes apparently eager to be duped, then dupe them. I think that's a subset of what the OP is suggesting.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/02/24 02:17 PM
2	What is the logic behind dating knowingly bad men? I think you're right that women being crappy people runs contrary to what some people believe, or want (need) to believe.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/02/24 10:12 PM
–	Why "self-improvement" will never be the security blanket men think it is, the tale of a loser named Brad Pitt I'm not sure what your point is, but Pitt seemed to get together with some pretty horrid women (and may be horrid himself). Being good looking doesn't give you good taste or a spine.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/24 11:30 PM
–	In the west, if you haven’t had one girlfriend or boyfriend by 25, something is probably severely wrong with you This post seems almost cruel, or at least uncharitable. It has an angry tone that's likely a response to alternative explanations like the ones the OP mentions and debunks. Those explanations as they're offered here often come from men blaming women directly or indirectly for the men's choices, which may explain what seems like anger to me. That does get old. I'm not taking issue with the OP beyond the likelihood that this approach may not be as effective as a softer one. But while I might have …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/02/24 07:19 PM
36	Switching around "Commitment" for "Sex" may allow more empathy between the sexes? This is a good, reasonable way to nudge people toward a different perspective. As evidenced by the responses, people tend to resist nudges, but it's still a good try.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 11:46 PM
9	Switching around "Commitment" for "Sex" may allow more empathy between the sexes? I agree.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 11:40 PM
1	What the "Pills" Get Wrong . . . There's some multitasking there at least.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 03:01 PM
1	"Enjoy the decline" is a perfectly viable strategy We had a thread a while back about the way suggesting therapy can be misinterpreted or even misguided. I took the stance that it's not a practical bit of advice because wise people don't and fools won't, and so on. So to be consistent with my previous comment I won't suggest therapy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/02/24 02:34 PM
–	Why is interpersonal chemistry never accounted for in conversations about attraction- only looks? In this discussion everyone is right if the unspoken part is included. Chemistry is often a function of some level of physical attraction. It can also sometimes develop if there's a neutral feeling and then one day you see the person a little differently. I'm male and I've experienced both. I think it's exceedingly rare for a woman or a man to be actively put off by someone's looks and then their feelings morph into physical or sexual desire, though. I don't know that BP suggests this happens co…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 02:51 PM
2	Could atheism by the reason behind the alienation of men and women? "There's several strong strands of respect for the poor in certain churches" I was raised Catholic in the 60s and early 70s before Roe vs Wade, and so much of what I've kept from those years is a concern and respect for poor and disadvantaged people. It's the backbone of my personal ethic and politics. I'm not the least bit religious now, but I greatly appreciate the values that sprang from my religious upbringing. I have no doubt though that my time in the Church was a sweet spot when the secon…	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/02/24 02:08 PM
1	What benefits do you value most in a long term monogamous relationship / marriage? Male. She sees me. There's immense satisfaction in being seen, understood, and by extension appreciated because she puts in the effort to be in a relationship with that man she sees and understands. The only thing that rivals that feeling is seeing, understanding, and through my choice to make that relationship effort, appreciating her. That connection makes us more that 1 +1 = 2. It's powerful stuff.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/01/24 02:43 PM
19	How come it is almost never considered that a guy can develop feelings for a woman he is friends with and that he just became friends to get into her pants? Acquaintances date all the time. Sometimes those people were friends first, and sometimes they were friendly acquaintances. But either way it developed organically. It's different to know you like a woman romantically and then to perform as a friend in order to later move that friendship toward romance. That's what gets criticized. ETA, apparently "toward" is not spelled "rowatrd". Who knew?	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 09:48 PM
1	Whose fault is it in a deadbedroom? So if someone has sex as a means of fitting in but conceals that from you and decides later that they're just not interested, what could you have done differetnly. If they're more interested in men than women and they were either confused or hoping they'd, I don't know, adjust, what could you have done? In these and other scenarios it's likely one party has no control and limited ability to influence this aspect of the relationship.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 09:05 PM
8	Whose fault is it in a deadbedroom? He's why we can't have nice things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 05:21 PM
1	Whose fault is it in a deadbedroom? Is it fair then to say that the price of having a child is a greatly diminished sex life, or none at all? Who knowingly signs up for that? Going into a relationship or marriage where both parties want children could include an honest discussion of what impact kids will have (along with stress and age and familiarity), both to temper expectations and to accept the challenge of keeping the spark alive despite life wanting to douse it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 05:20 PM
1	Whose fault is it in a deadbedroom? I'm male. I'm not hot and I'm a crappy dancer, and yet.........	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 05:13 PM
3	Whose fault is it in a deadbedroom? Often, but not necessarily. One person can be asexual, for example, and could have tried to mask that or not understood it until a time comes when they can't mask or do understand. There are other unilateral endings to sex between people. If your point is a response to the general implication and the explicit claim in the OP that a sexless relationship is something women do to men, then I agree. When a healthy and sexual man or woman loses interest in their partner that's a couple issue.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 05:10 PM
22	Whose fault is it in a deadbedroom? I think I've read that in about 1 out of 3 sexless marriages, the man checked out, so your assumption is too gendered. Whoever opted out of the sexual aspect of the relationship, the reasons vary. There may be a lack of physical attraction. There may be relationship issues that interfere with sex, from the demands of kids to emotional turmoil to infidelity. There may be sexual dysfunction with one person, man or woman. In individual relationships it may be a specicif thing, but across the phenom…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 03:22 PM
1	What is the actual reason why men get shamed for having preferences? I think men who discreetly express or act on a preference are seldom (ever?) shamed for that. Men who broadcast "no fat chicks" are.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/24 02:17 PM
1	Those against the Red Pill, where should a man go for dating advice? It depends on why he's looking for advice. There are no secrets though, no certain path to success, which is what TRP sells or strongly implies. TRP isn't alone in selling certainty or near certainty, though. Softer pitches suggest that "when the time is right" or "when the right person comes along" then you'll find your match. That's descriptive but not all that predicitve, but when it's offered in reponse to a man asking "how to" it seems like, well, a "how to". You already know the things tha…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/01/24 08:35 PM
1	Why are so many men subservient to their wife/gf? Makes sense.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/24 11:19 PM
2	Why are so many men subservient to their wife/gf? Did Destiny or his partner suggest the open arrangement?	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/24 10:43 PM
5	Why are so many men subservient to their wife/gf? The "hole" isn't that fucking good and there are alternatives. Someone somewhere is a fucking marketing wizard to have convinced men to put up with some shit they do for the "hole".	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/24 10:37 PM
3	Why are so many men subservient to their wife/gf? In relationships where the woman yells at the man or belittles him, that's dominating behavior and abusive. It's taking advantage of some sort of power imbalance. I don't agree that it's super common as the OP posits, but it's disturbing when it does occur. A woman being the primary decision maker or having significant input into her spouses activities in a relationship seems like a benign exercise of power that may work for both of them. It's still a power imbalance evidenced by behavior. I'm n…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/01/24 10:35 PM
1	Odds are you won’t be your partner’s “sexist” or “best in bed” - and that’s okay I've lurked here and seen lots of mentions of this. I'm a man and I have an ego, but I protect it by not asking if I'm the best and by trusting that a woman who is with me wants to be with me. This "gotta be the best" is a great example of perfect being the enmy of the good.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/01/24 10:43 PM
3	Dating advice, therapy bait-and-switch Sometimes advice can be useful, but when the advice from a stranger is to get therapy, the slightly paraphrased old saying "well adjusted people don't need it and poorly adjusted people won't heed it" applies. It can be well intentioned, but ultimately empty advice.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/01/24 09:08 PM