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SilverYayFern Archive

View 1 posts and 35 comments by SilverYayFern on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
60

CULTURAL MISOGYNYSilverYayFern/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 04:12 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
71

So, he cooked. This is what he considers “adoration.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 12:57 AM
36

Sounds like he was multitasking on getting his dog exercise. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 01:46 AM
35

I should have been more explicit in my opinion that he intends to subject those kids to abuse too, because he all he seems to consider important is obedience. The kind of man who thinks that way thinks his authority is sacred, and feels justified in any level of violence or abuse to punish transgressions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 07:03 PM
94

He didn’t say healthy. He said “good, well-mannered, respectful,” which all boils down to subservience and obedience. So no, not healthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 06:21 PM
1

Please note her eerily familiar list of deal-breakers and observations on bad relationships. I’m seeing a lot about “earning” love in this thread and...it’s a little discouraging. Boundaries are good and healthy, but life is still about finding love that works for both parties and is compatible. If you’re doing all the work speaking and translating live languages, how is that ideal or better? I love dogs because they speak my love language and we can benefit from affection that is enjoyable to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 03:18 AM
3

Common sense is to limit risk for people who are more vulnerable. Good people (HVM/HVW) will find ways to balance the household work to improve everyone’s chances of getting through this pandemic. I’m responding to your statement that it’s “fucking bullshit” that he can’t go shopping because of covid. (It’s not, it’s a reasonable precaution.) Also your inclusion of your dad’s story seemed to function as a favorable contrast, or why would you mention an unrelated story? His having avoided covid i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 01:47 AM
12

I was with you until you started implying that it would be better for them not to take common-sense precautions regarding covid, and that it was admirable for your older dad to not be as careful as he could be. Your dad got very lucky. Household transmission is not inevitable, and we should always be mindful that every time we go out, we risk infecting others as well as ourselves. The fewer people go out, the better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 09:06 PM
4

Often better. Natural stones have imperfections and inclusions that can reduce their aesthetic quality as well as their durability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:02 PM
3

Really well. I am not kind to my rings. I once destroyed a garnet ring within three months of daily wear. I've had a lab-created ruby solitaire ring since I was 16 (mentioned elsewhere in this post's comments), which I wore daily for a couple years. I still have it in rotation, though I do not wear it daily anymore. I check my jewelry regularly with a 10x loupe in case they need cleaning or repair. The stone remains flawless even though I've scratched the gold pretty badly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:00 PM
4

No, you're right. I would initially list it for $30-50 and then end up accepting an offer well below that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 07:08 PM
11

I winced. The most important part is that she's disappointed. Any partner who loved her and wanted to impress her would do their best to make up for this by getting her a ring she was truly excited to wear. As for my personal opinion: this ring is so pitiful it would languish in my jewelry box until I got up the energy to list it for the $30-50 resell value it has. For context, I love jewelry. With my first paycheck as a teenager, I did my research and bought a 6mm lab-created ruby (under $20), …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 06:42 PM
3

That said, I would expect a partner who knows, respects, and values me to pick out a beautiful vintage or customized piece.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 06:15 PM
3

Haha I agree to an extent. As a person who buys and resells jewelry on a very very small scale (eBay, Poshmark, etc), I would only buy gemstone jewelry new if the craftmanship was exceptional. Or maybe something like a South Sea pearl, which has no resell value but is fragile enough (and faked often enough) that I'm only comfortable buying from a reputable seller. Secondhand is MUCH cheaper and it's easier to find interesting and unique pieces. Precious metal is a little different because it's l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 06:12 PM
6

...okay I may not be over the horrible skincare-theft story from yesterday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:58 AM
9

Okay to me, a beard always says “my girlfriend/wife’s comfort is not important to me” because anytime they kiss, she has to touch his scratchy hair facial hair. It has always been an automatic thing for me, before I figured out why, to the point that I don’t see men with beards as options. Stubble is fine. Well-groomed beards that are slightly longer than stubble are fine. But these things? Most women work so hard to keep our skin soft and healthy. Why would we want to regularly expose our facia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 12:53 AM
43

“Our son” “a daughter” Jfc I have rarely read anything that raised the hairs on the back of my neck, but this man. He’s the real deal, I think. (Meaning, documentary-level creep.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 09:41 AM
12

I was trying to figure out why this story freaked me out so much, when similar ones didn’t, and I think I figured out part of it. It’s emotional abuse, and it’s a violation of her home and property, but something about it felt like a physical violation. (Context: I take very good care of my skin. My skincare products are carefully curated after years of trying out many many routines and products.) If I may project a little, skincare isn’t like makeup. It’s about your relationship to your body. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 03:40 AM
19

Oh I would NOT ask the children any questions. Unless you are a qualified therapist, you may trigger or traumatize them. You may also contaminate the investigation. Report this as suspected child sexual abuse and keep an eye on the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:01 AM
66

I’m so happy and relieved for her! Thank you for sharing this update. My heart was breaking for her and I’m so glad this story had a happy ending.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 09:54 PM
35

I think the problem women (including myself) run into is that WE can be friends to men, so we think that rule is nonsense. The problem is that it is usually a one-sided friendship because most men cannot be friends to women. They would need to see women as equals worthy of respect in order to see women as potential friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 04:00 AM
69

I had a VERY similar conversation with a year ago and it took me until very recently (after joining FDS and some self-reflection) to accept that it was okay to be upset about it. I broke up with them but the experience made it clear to me that I needed to level up and learn to love myself better so that I can pursue what I really want and never feel the need to settle for less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:32 AM
7

Sex Worker-Exclusionary Radical Feminist
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:26 AM
9

I think what gets me about this story is how dangerous this would be if the genders were reversed. It’s so common to hear from women who have used money for the household expenses, who are then verbally or physically abused by their husbands. Called all sorts of derogatory and unfair names for using the money for the family’s needs. I can’t imagine a man ever consulting Reddit about it without the disdainful conviction that this abusive behavior was appropriate. Let alone Legos. Let alone Legos …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 08:46 PM
7

Hmm the Legos aren’t the problem- adults are allowed to have hobbies and engage in harmless recreation. The inconsiderate behavior on the part of the friend is the problem, and while he’s likely trash too (for being this loser’s friend), the Lego-hobby itself is not trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 08:39 PM
30

Oh my god I had never thought of this double-standard but you’re completely right. It’s not about jealousy or “protectiveness,” it’s about control and ownership. Imo sharing nudes is cheating, so that part of it makes sense, but it’s wild that at the same time, most men share them with their friends. It’s because he’s in control. He feels entitled to her body to the degree that he cannot see it as cheating, because he’s sharing something he considers his. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 07:58 PM
3

I'm sorry you crossed paths with someone who treated you badly. I think it's very smart to try to use past experiences to prevent repeating those bad experiences, and luckily we have FDS so we don't have to rely ONLY on our own experiences and insights. Hmm I think the single most useful strategy for me regarding recognizing abuse is: I imagine myself witnessing a dear friend receiving the same treatment. If a man told one of my friends to stop talking, especially a man who had some sort of emot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 06:07 AM
5

Exactly. The very best and most innocent explanation is that he finds it funny to pretend to disrespect you. That's the BEST-CASE scenario. At that point I ask myself if it is likely that this is the best partner/companionship/treatment I will find out of all the people I will meet in my life. Probably not. I move on. I'm bi so it comes naturally to compare men's behavior with the behavior of women in my life, but for those who aren't bi, it's a useful exercise when you're unsure if you're "bein…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 05:41 AM
28

Honestly? So many things. There is a lot of discussion on FDS about red flags. There are seemingly-small events/signs that reflect his mindset or are likely to escalate. There are also things that aren't bad but that simply make him incompatible with me or uninteresting to me. I'm okay with that because most emotionally healthy people marry once or twice in their lifetime. Being picky is emotionally healthy. ETA: I should say, most emotionally healthy people marry 0-2 times. There are plenty of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 11:55 PM
3

I don’t see it as conflicting because FDS advocates for financial independence, a sturdy safety net, and a fully developed brain before dating. Which, now that I’m in my mid-late twenties, I agree with. In my early twenties, I was just out of college. No savings, no real safety net, and a poor sense of self compared to where I am now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 08:07 PM
14

Haha I bet he was actually the “flower-bearer” (if there were flowers) in this story. He spends a lot of time describing the ways she distanced herself from him. And giving bitter explanations (“oh she only set up boundaries because of her daddy issues”) for those boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 05:09 PM
60

Oh, if anything, it's going to get worse. If this is what he's like during the honeymoon phase, he's only going to use this as an excuse for the rest of the marriage. "I knew from the beginning that she wasn't the one for me." and yet he still cruelly married her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 04:38 AM
2

I clicked on a post linked to on r/myfavoritemurder. I’d been thinking about the impossibility of keeping myself safe while dating men so finding this subreddit was amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 09:58 PM
20

This comment made me ask: if he really is new in town, why is he dating? Why is his priority to seek out a romantic/sexual partner? Because of the flag reasons you listed above. He’s not getting to know the city or its people. He’s not getting involved in clubs/hobbies to meet friends. He’s not prioritizing building a network/friend group. He’s out on a date because for some reason () this is more important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 08:29 PM
9

...but she can come over. So he’s free but decided not to go on a date with her. But he still wants to see if he can have sex with her. The nerve of these fuckers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 01:57 AM
5

The thing is when they say that, it’s them abdicating responsibility. “You deserve more effort than I am able/willing to give.” They want to hear “no, no, I’m satisfied with you and what you give me! There’s no need to work harder!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 06:28 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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