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Simple-Captain3421 Archive

View 9 posts and 47 comments by Simple-Captain3421 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

This post got me. Ex moved out of the family home 2 days ago. I visited the house yesterday after being kicked out a year ago. Standing alone in that empty house brought such strong emotions and I just cried. Every corner of the house is filled with memories, hopes and promises. I will be moving in soon and fear how I will take it. At least my son would be in a familiar environment and feel secure with everything that is happening with his parents.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 08:46 AM
3

Don’t try. Nothing is enough for them. The only ones I have seen work are men who have completely submitted to their wives.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 06:11 PM
2

Not saying you are, but so that you know, it is easy to confuse between 'principle' and 'ego'. Cut your losses, close that chapter and move on. Because if you do not, you will end up far worse both financially and mentally.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 12:29 PM
2

Exactly. While I see the original post in the good sense it is meant to be, I do feel men have to (forcibly) behave in a certain manner through the proceedings. So the general advise to “fuck the status quo order” may not always work in our favor. Best to be sensible.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 08:52 PM
3

Are men treated the same way as women by courts, for contempt?
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 08:45 PM
2

First thing first, you have to keep your calm in this situation. It is quite likely that you STBXW will raise these allegations during custody discussions. It is also possible that the mother is recording her conversations with the children. It is advisable to deal with the situation and any return communication via your solicitor. If you do not have one, then you need to set aside emotions and act rationally. Texts are a really bad form of communication in such situations so when you receive th…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 11:56 AM
6

As someone else said, grey rock is the best solution. Even for your own mental health. My ex is a synonym for passive aggressiveness. The courts would tell both of you off, so not point raising there. The court then ordered my ex and I to communicate via OFW, but that didn't change her behavior. She just wants control over everything. What helped is not paying attention, not communicating and just being blank. My ex would always create situations where I was forced to communicate with her, but I…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 12:43 PM
3

One month is too raw but yes, post your thoughts here and the wise people will always iump to help.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 08:37 PM
7

Exactly. I have been part of many other forums and it’s generally pull the next person down to climb. But this forum/sub just gives, unrelentlessly.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 08:26 PM
5

Sorry you are going through this. Why do you think this is happening?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 08:11 PM
6

You can't change the past but can certainly set expectations for the future. If I were you, I would let it go and set boundaries with the ex both directly and via the solicitor. Your kids are older and they will sense if one parent is going after the other so deal with this issue diplomatically.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 06:37 PM
5

No worries. Happy to help. It is a tough transition for you. I have been there, so have others. Just remember that the person you loved the most (your ex), does no longer exist, and you are dealing with a stranger. Will help put things in perspective. Be a leader for your 3 kids. They will thank you for that when the time comes. Stand up for yourself and your kids. Even if that means putting new rules in place. Wish you good luck, mate.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 08:30 PM
11

Mate, you need to understand that the time the kids are with you, it is your time with them. And you have the right to create a world of your own. You CAN set rules for your kids, just don't use the term "ground" or "naughty corner". They are not looked upon favorably. Stop relying on your ex, or letting her bulldoze herself into this space that you have with your kids. 5G or WiFi, doesn't matter. If you do not want it, it stops. We men tend to have this belief that the mother knows the best. Ge…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 08:10 PM
7

In my opinion, 7 year old is still young to have a smart phone, but I can see how it could be tough given the older siblings all have one. You need to set boundaries with your ex i.e when to allow phone calls etc. Or disconnect internet from the kids' phones when they are with you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 07:52 PM
1

I guess in the end you have to do what’s right for the child. I do feel your pain. And everyone else here does too. But as my solicitor advised- be clear about what you want long term (in terms of custody) and stick by it from day one. Good luck, mate.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 04:41 PM
3

I had this issue with my then 6 year old. The whole day would be good but at sleep time, he would get very upset and ask for his mom. It took probably a couple of weeks after which he was fine. Surprisingly, I noticed that my son slept much better at mine as opposed to how he used to in the family home. As others have said, it takes time and kids do get used to the change in environment. My ex would email the same points i.e. son sleeping long hours at her place so presumably not sleeping well a…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 01:24 PM
1

The childcare (custody) arrangement is 7/7 which starts on Friday evening and ends the next Friday morning. So alternate Mondays with each parent. I do not work long hours. I work different hours to what I am required. This means I lose some hours early in the day and then afternoon (school drop off, pick up, sorting out dinner, homework, dad/son time etc.) and I then cover these hours from home while my son is having his dinner and then during his 10-15 minute tele time. We both wrap up everyth…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 07:59 PM
2

Don’t take me wrong, I agree with u/captainchippsixx too. And not to contradict anything you said too but wouldn’t putting my foot down work against my son’s interest? Hence why I feel stuck? And add to that my work situation. I guess there is no way I can continue with this class on Monday. And will speak with my son about it. Seeing all the Mother’s Day posts and how fathers should put the children first got me thinking about this whole episode.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 05:36 PM
1

Because I don’t want to be as petty as her but also not to give her any reason to think I am retaliating for her behavior. And that’s not my intention too. Guess my biggest concern is my work. I went almost bankrupt during the divorce and the job and salary are extremely important to me and to build a future for my son. My management have been very sympathetic to my divorce and struggles and gave me the space and time to sort my shit out. They also agreed on altered work schedule which works gre…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 05:03 PM
4

The court has advised us to communicate via OFW. Too much history of hostility. And to be honest, I am very glad I do not have to deal with her face to face. She will find every reason to instigate me or twist something I say or do, and go running to her solicitor.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 02:46 PM
5

What I have understood is that the women feed off of our weakness for being a role model to our children. Every literature, every judge and every solicitor would advocate us on one thing- be a role model. Something that you would find in abundance from men on this sub. Sadly, you need two to tango and women would go to any extent to deprive us from that responsibility. And one way of doing that is to make us look worse in front of the whole world, but heartbreakingly, in front of the kids too.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 01:01 PM
12

Exactly what I was thinking a few days ago. Not the Mother’s Day part but how men constantly seek a collaborative relationship with their ex by justifying them as the ‘child’s mother’ but women have no such intention. My ex thinks she is the single authority on our son and I have no role. This is particularly ironic as one of the key reasons for our divorce what that I wasn’t helping with childcare, which by the way again was controlled completely by her. Now to Mother’s Day. I have encouraged m…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 09:47 AM
4

I was in this situation and eventually was arrested by the police due to the false allegations. Ex then applied for non molestation order (similar to restraining order but in the U.K.). Life changed overnight. Best advise- move out. And keep all comms to the minimum and documented. Every action of yours and every word you speak will be misconstrued or contorted to fit their story or allegation. Tough if you have kids but still better than being in the same house and living in anxiety.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 10:27 AM
3

Encourage your child(ren) to appreciate their mother on Mother’s Day. Help them make a card or take them out to get some gifts. Nothing too lavish and entirely led by the kid(s). As for you, it won’t help to stay under the same roof. See if you can move out even temporarily. Will help put things in perspective, for both of you. And who knows, the physical space might help you both realise each other’s value and importance in respective lives more.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 09:15 AM
2

A different question on this sub in a while. While many won't agree with your approach from a moral standpoint, what stops you or your future partner (or for that matter anyone) from sleeping with someone else after the marriage. It is so common. This sub is a good place to find that out. If you are morally conflicted, then don't do it. Focus on hobbies etc. Just because you are going to live in Thailand, you don't have to indulge in meeting prostitutes or escorts. I lived in Thailand for a mont…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 01:37 PM
3

Are you and your kids affected? If yes, report it. If not, just move on. You can’t control everything they do. Yes, there is a moral question about right vs. wrong, but your need to treat your ex as a stranger and ask what you would do if it was someone you don’t know doing the wrong stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 07:45 PM
2

Seems like all the divorce stories are written with the same pen. Same hatred, same modus operandi and probably same result. In my mind, there are 3 versions of my ex. One whom I married and loved, one who is the mother of my son, and one who is a nasty stranger. The first version has died. I deal with second like a work colleague. And the third, I just ignore. The insidious nature in which your stbx has gone behind your back, siphoned off money and hired a vicious solicitor is an indication of …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 08:48 PM
3

It’s the same story everywhere. Let’s hope your ex comes to senses and returns the other dog. I hope this every day for my dog at least.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 04:11 PM
3

My ex kept our only dog with her. Not that she cared for him. Hell, she won't even feed him or change water or take to vets. She did that only to hurt me. He would follow me everywhere, day or night. Would wait at the door for hours for me to return from work. Losing the dog hit me the hardest. On top, she turned the dog walker, vet etc. against me so I cannot see him even elsewhere. I went from pillar to post to fight her decision. No one cared. Everyone said, its just a dog. For them, yes. Not…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 09:56 AM
9

Next, they will let the joint accounts (gas, electricity, credit card etc.) go into debit, which will have a negative effect on your credit score. Ask me how do I know. Close all joint accounts asap.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 09:49 AM
3

Consider yourself lucky, man. She only 'wished' things on you. Mine got me arrested on false charges, got me spending a night in jail, then applies for a non molestation order, akin to restraining order in the US which meant I could not go back home or see my son or the dog. I only had a dead phone on me. Once released from the jail, stood on the streets for 4 hours hoping someone would give me a lift to someplace. A kind cabbie took pity on me and helped me get to my friend's place. Lived on th…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 07:49 PM
2

What would you have expected from your partner if the roles were reversed? Would you like your partner to have an open discussion, mediation, a date night or wham-bham divorce? Extend the same courtesy to her. In most cases, divorce is a one way road so exhaust all your other options before you embark on that journey. The story is different if your partner is abusive.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 07:29 PM
8

For a second, it felt I was reading about me and ex. Same age, same behaviour 😂.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 07:51 PM
7

I have anger issues and a massive ego. Ex is a narc. Sharing couple of pieces of wisdom I picked up along the way: ​ What do you when you are pitched in front of someone or something that you consider as a competitor/enemy? You fight back. What do you do when you are in front of someone or something that is dangerous? You walk away or flee. Most of us classify a narc ex as an enemy and get pulled into the rut of fighting them. Instead, classify them as someone dangerous and walk away. Your ego m…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/24 09:17 PM
1

I hold onto them to remind myself. You are also holding on to the past! Let it go if you truly want to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 07:34 PM
1

Where are you from? I am in the UK and spent a fortune on solicitors. Acrimonious divorce. Got almost bankrupt. I may be the odd one out here but looking back, if there is one thing I would do differently is to not hire a solicitor until before the court hearing, if court is where it ends. All the ultra-expensive email exchanges between the solicitors over 18 months in my case had no value/relevance in the final bundle. Plus, if you represent yourself, all the legal costs like filing, preparing …
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 01:34 PM
2

Very similar situation as mine, sans the cheating. I moved out, a co-parenting arrangement in place, then just the day before my son and I were to go on a holiday, ex refuses to let him be with me. Filed in the court straightaway, and 6 months down the line, the courts decided equal co-parenting, and handed me a week extra to compensate for the missed holiday. How to work through it?- File straightaway. I think with the incessant cheating and possibly bringing men around, you need to make sure y…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 11:55 AM
13

My brother had just passed away. Tears would roll out thinking of the good times my brother and I spent growing up. It's called grieving. Ex tells me- "pull your pants up and be a man." Few months down, she filed for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 12:25 PM
3

You are not alone. I was thinking about the same yesterday. I manage a team of 270 people and it is always hectic at work. Son spends a week on/week off, so the week he is with me, it does get challenging to manage work demands and son. The job is important for me so I cannot take my position for granted. My manager is aware of my situation and has been very understanding but at the end of the day, he is answerable to people above him. I took the day off sick on Monday just to catch a breather. …
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 12:27 PM
1

Thanks all for your replies. Of course most are advising me to speak to my solicitor but its not that straightforward. During our First Directions Appointment in 2023, my ex's and my barristers managed to agree on all terms before going in front of the court and we used that hearing to finalize the order. One such term agreed was that my ex would stay in the family home for 6 additional months so that she can find a property to purchase and move in to. Since then, the order has been sealed and t…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 04:26 PM
4

You need to learn to forgive yourself. Everyone goes through this phase. You are evolving as a parent too. Find your triggers and work out how you will deal with them differently next time. One step at a time. It also helps to speak to your kids and helping them understand the boundaries. They do respond if you are consistent in your messaging. Parenting is not easy but worth every bit. You will be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 07:59 AM
2

I have begrudgingly accepted the fact that my dog is gone. But it hurts to even think that he suffers in his old age. Terrible to think that I cannot help him even if I have the means to help him. Sad indeed.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 07:49 PM
1

Mate, we are men. Anything we do out of emotional whim comes back and bites us.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 07:48 PM
2

I am so sorry mate. This must be the worst punishment. I appreciate that you have seen the best out of the situation i.e. that the dog has got a good home. I would have lost it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 07:46 PM
1

I wish I could find a reason for my ex's unreasonable behaviour. It would help me sleep better. But there is none. Shows that humans are fundamentally flawed and have a capacity to be inhuman.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 07:44 PM
2

I wish it was that easy in the UK. Here it is all about material loss. And I cannot prove that, sadly. I agree with you, it is about reprieving me from my happiness but why punish the dog. He has not done anything wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 07:42 PM
1

Sorry mate but it is what it is. Here in the UK, pets are treated as inanimate objects and the courts do not want to spend too much time dealing with them, for understandable reasons. Good luck to you. I can feel the pain.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 07:39 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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