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Singular-cat-lady Archive

View 0 posts and 58 comments by Singular-cat-lady on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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66

Oh my god this is hilarious. I read the title and thought it was just surrounding yourself aggressively with pillows and blankets (which can be quite cozy) but then I read the post and holy shit lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:20 PM
174

One of the mods of that subreddit is the partner of the now-former admin in discussion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:45 AM
24

That 4chan post has me in stitches every time I see it lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 02:51 PM
137

I think this is the main misconception about the sub. There was a discussion about FDS in a different sub the other day and a lot of commenters clearly had never even visited the sub before voicing their opinions in it. Stuff like "female incels" and "how bad do you have to be to struggle to get dates as a woman?" The quantity of dates has never been the issue, lmao. It's the quality. Also the whole "just lower your standards" angle, as if we didn't have discussions on every other thread about h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 07:49 PM
7

LOL WHAT THE FUCK? That's so scary that he readily admitted he's capable of domestic violence. I'm so glad you got out of that before he had a chance to escalate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:20 PM
3

I think people get caught up on the fact that you're allowed to visit subreddits you don't 100% agree with without needing to assert your own views every time they don't line up. I don't agree with everything posted here, but I'm still here. I treat myself a lot better since following this sub, and I've been able to change a lot of the pick-me behaviors I used to do, so I am still here. When something is posted that I disagree with, I'll take it as a chance to discuss with myself why we might ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:55 PM
29

She clearly had an agenda going into it. I understand the gut reaction against FDS -- hell, I had it too when I first got here, because seeing a group of women openly calling out men goes against the core of how I was raised. But instead of really questioning why she had that reaction (like how we've been fed the lie that if we can only find the right sugar-coated words maybe he'll listen this time) she actively tries to amp up that shock value for the reader. My only hope is that some people wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 01:54 PM
18

I've heard the comparison before that cats are a lesson in consent. If the cat doesn't want to be pet, you are not petting the cat. If you respect the cat's personal space and let the cat tell you when it wants to be pet, you're rewarded with a loving companion. The unconditional love that dogs give certainly has a place in my heart too. Dogs require a lot more work than cats, and someone who can handle the responsibility of dog ownership earns points in my book -- but that's only if the dog is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 03:11 PM
11

Good idea. We have fantastic chemistry, but that's a requirement for relationships in general - not the determining factor for "the one". We've had some surface-level political discussions and agreed on everything, but I'll bring up some more serious topics before getting any further emotionally. It'd suck to let myself fall for him and then find out we have fundamentally incompatible viewpoints.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 03:53 PM
14

Thank you. I think I just needed to hear someone say it, since my logical side and my emotional desires don't always line up. I'm still really excited to be with him, but I'll start throwing the brakes on it to be safe. If it's real, we have all the time in the world so there's no reason to rush. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:33 PM
8

I've seen so many people saying OnlyFans is predatory to men. That these poor lonely men are craving social interaction so much during quarantine that they see no other choice than to spend all their money on OF. First off, women are quarantining too, and yet the female customer base for OF is much smaller. You don't get to pin fact that (Not All Men TM) men put zero effort into maintaining social networks onto women. Don't get me wrong, completely replacing real human interaction with parasocia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 02:00 PM
15

I've got the weirdly sized pots and pans there, the ones I only bust out a couple times a year for special recipes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:44 PM
12

I've been seeing this new guy for a little while and it's going very well, but it's scaring me how quickly I'm falling for him. The relationship is moving fast, but I really like him so I don't mind. As far as I can tell, he's just as into me as I am into him. How do I know if this is real or if he's love bombing me? Do I just continue under the assumption that it's real and watch out for red flags?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:42 PM
20

"That's very interesting... Quick question though, who asked?" Is my favorite sentence right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 09:06 PM
55

I don't mind the idea that marriage takes work, since there's bound to be ups and downs over decades together, but... if we can't even hold it together for a year or two when we're all lovey-dovey with hormones, we're not getting married lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 07:16 PM
2

I got big Rupi Kaur vibes from this. I love her poems so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 01:09 PM
113

I think it's less that polyamory is more common (though that is certainly true as well) and more that the people who aren't poly uninstall the app when they find someone. Poly people are overrepresented because mono people filter themselves out after finding a partner. Also, I swear to God if I see one more "looking for our 🦄" couple with a gorgeous woman and a troglodyte man, I'm going to scream.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 02:06 PM
7

Here's a picture of my foster cat eating the top of my friend's cornbread the second we looked away during a backyard picnic day. (Pre-covid)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:19 PM
55

My friend made his wife an audiobook for Valentine's day, like recorded himself reading the whole thing aloud. I'm absolutely dying at how cute that is and thought you ladies would appreciate it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:13 PM
47

Congratulations on leaving the loser! Treat yourself to something nice this V day :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 02:27 PM
12

I flip back and forth on if I call it rape or not. Since technically I didn't try to stop it, and my memory of the night is in pieces so maybe I even consented and just forgot? But when it happened to a friend, I can clearly label that as rape - people who are blackout drunk can't consent. Somehow it's hard to label it that way when it happened to me, though. My therapist (God bless therapy) did help me see that it was predatory behavior, even if I wasn't ready to call it rape. If the situation …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 01:16 AM
82

It's kind of like jobs that pay the minimum wage. They'd pay you less than that if it were legal. If any 18 year olds are here lurking, don't let them treat you like the minimum wage. They're not interested in you because you're mature for your age; they're interested in you because you're the youngest they're legally allowed to go after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 05:02 PM
92

People are SO stuck on the idea that sex work being real work means that sex work is a GOOD IDEA. In a different sub I very politely tried to bring up the fact that things like OnlyFans can hurt your job prospects in the future, even if it shouldn't, and I got a bunch of downvotes. Come on, guys. They used to tell us to deactivate our myspace / facebook when applying to colleges because they could only hurt us, yet somehow having nudes for sale can't possibly hurt me. If my job found an OnlyFans…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 04:37 PM
11

Oof I feel that. "It can't be that bad" isn't a very good reason for deciding to do something optional that you're supposed to enjoy. Also I just realized out usernames are really similar lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 04:22 PM
79

Or having panic attacks on and off for years because (TW) you were falling-down drunk and no longer cared enough to stop him. Wish I could say this was rare but two other women I lived with had the same thing happen. So that's cool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 04:14 PM
23

I'm glad you were able to figure it out without having to experience it firsthand! In college I slept around a bit for all the reasons listed in the original post but when it actually came to the sex I'd cut it short more often than not because I didn't actually like it. I liked the attention and the fact that it lifted my bottomed-out self esteem for a bit, but I needed therapy, not men. Nowadays, I actually do enjoy casual sex to a certain extent. I was interested in a guy sexually but I didn'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 04:05 PM
33

I think this is such an important point that people don't understand. It's not that money is a deal breaker because we see men as a paycheck. Money is a deal breaker because I'm not going to date someone if my standard of living is going DOWN. An ex wouldn't let me ride the ferris wheel at Navy Pier because he couldn't afford it and his pride wouldn't let me pay for it. If you're stopping me from doing the things I would be doing without you, my standard of living has gone down. I own a house. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 01:42 PM
3

Ah, I see you've met my ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 01:29 PM
8

I have. I agree with a lot of it but not necessarily all of it. I understand the logic behind discouraging casual sexual relationships, but at the moment I am not interested in any romantic relationships so that is not my end goal. I understand that sex is inherently riskier for women, which is why I don't do one night stands. But it's been a long year, he's cute and fun, and it seemed like a good way to relax. That is, before he started with the bullshit mind games. Maybe I played myself here. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 03:24 PM
7

I mean... It had been a while and I wanted to get some 🤷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:26 AM
4

Lol I also had one forget his wallet in the car. I intended to pay half anyways (just my preference - I hate feeling like I "owe" them anything, even if I know it doesn't work like that) but this guy had the audacity to order three california rolls at the fancy ramen shop, spend the entire date talking about how he had access to the "really good drugs" because he was a pharmacy student, and then leave me with the $60 bill saying he would pay for the second date to even it out. Very funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 05:17 PM
224

Uhgg this fuckboy I've been talking to has me exhausted. I'm not looking for a relationship at all right now so I specifically went for casual with a fuckboy, but now he's all sad because I said "obviously this isn't going to turn into a relationship" during a conversation the other day. "Says who??" Says me, buddy. Funny how he was all for no strings (he had another girl over the day after me.....) until I'm the one saying no strings. Thank God I found this sub. If I hadn't, I'd be eating right…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 02:48 PM
31

Right? The only people who should care about the age of consent are fresh 18-year-olds. If you're out of high school, going for high schoolers is incredibly creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 09:57 PM
61

Me too! At 15 I "e-dated" a 24 year old for a bit before realizing how incredibly weird that was. Now I'm 24 and absolutely horrified at the idea of dating a 15 year old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 09:54 PM
109

Oh God and the nastiest guys would just start grinding on you from the back without even letting you look them in the face. I do NOT miss 18+ nightclubs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:12 AM
10

RIGHT? I don't even wear makeup most of the time but if he's policing my looks before I've even met him, then that's a no for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 02:55 PM
62

Right? "I know exactly what I want and you aren't it." "Hmm so mysterious she must be confused and I hope she figures out what she wants."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:13 PM
15

For what it's worth, the BDSM community was also horrified at that series. It wouldn't surprise me if people got hurt from reading those books and going 'this is how I can spice up my sex life.'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 02:32 PM
75

LOL unbelievable. "Women are angry." "Actually, men are." "Wow you can stay that, that's sexist."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 06:27 PM
6

There's definitely something to be said about taking breaks from subs like this (and social media in general). I had a similar experience when I first found r/childfree and spent all my time on it. I've never been fond of kids but when I spent all my time there I was constantly reminded of the bad kids and started to internalize the message a little too much. Eventually it got to the point where just seeing kids would make me angry before they even did anything because I was expecting them to do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:43 PM
47

Thanks for this :') I'm visiting some friends right now (all quarantined aggressively and tested negative beforehand) and the one I'm staying with I had been casually flirting with leading up to this week. We had discussed hooking up during this trip, but once I got here I honestly wasn't feeling it. He hasn't put pressure on me or anything but I can tell he's disappointed. I'm so used to immediately doing whatever I can to please men that it's a bit hard to sit through the awkwardness... But it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 12:59 AM
10

Exactly. "You deserve better" is just asking permission to be worse. They know I deserve better, but it's on them if they want to be better or if someone else will be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 04:40 PM
20

Throwback to when my high school boyfriend tried pressuring me into something I wasn't ok with so I called him out, then had to spend the rest of the day assuring him that he wasn't a piece of shit because he was sad at how he treated me shitty. High school me let him sulk for a good hour before giving in so it wouldn't ruin the rest of my day. When the next one tried the "comfort me because I'm sad I'm a shitter," adult me hung up the phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:58 PM
36

See you at the hospital when we get our stomachs pumped, sister
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:36 PM
43

Jesus christ if I hear this one more time I'm going to scream. "You deserve someone better" ok bye. Thanks for giving me permission to end it. What? You wanted me to say "no I don't"? Sounds like you should have been straightforward and mature when asking for reassurance instead of fishing for compliments. Don't put me in the position where I have to put myself down to bring you up, because I won't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:35 PM
210

Can I just say how much I appreciate seeing threads like this without someone saying how sexist this is and playing the "not all men" card? If I find a man who performs emotional labor for me, I'd love to return the favor, but it doesn't come for free. I do these things for my women friends because I know they do them for me. Somehow the men in my life always thought they could just take take take and then say "thanks, bye" when they felt better without giving anything in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:59 PM
49

I'm going to believe this because it makes me feel better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:41 AM
12

This is the important distinction. Female used as an adjective is fine. Female used as a noun is dehumanizing. It's like talking about "the blacks" versus "black people."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 01:17 PM
5

My company (engineering firm) is actually a pretty great place to work, and my specific group has actually had more women than men for a couple years now (and my best friend is starting with my group in a week, aaaa!). I'm proud that my workplace genuinely doesn't care about gender and I've never once felt like my gender had any impact on my treatment / raises / career path etc. Then last year they announced they are starting a new lunchtime focus group for the women of the company to... I don't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 08:52 PM
41

I have a clit hood piercing and they still can't find it!! It's literally right there!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 04:26 PM
63

I honestly don't even bother asking for head anymore. It takes a while for me to get there even by myself, and the whole time he's down there I'm thinking about if I'm going to have to manage his emotions when he gets offended that I don't finish. Which probably contributes to why I don't get off. That said, I don't bother giving head if he isn't either, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 04:18 PM
6

I feel you there. In college I was "casually" seeing an alcoholic that kept dumping more and more emotional baggage on me, up to and including how he apparently used to make meth before going to college and his friend died from taking the meth he made. All his friends would just pass him to me to deal with when he would get violent / incoherent / etc because dealing with negative feelings is the female's job or something. It's a very long story but eventually all those friends stopped talking to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 06:45 PM
19

I used to hold it against my ex that he was never willing to compromise and it was always on me. Now, I almost admire it, but I wish I would have put myself first in the same way that he was willing to do. If one of us had to compromise that often, we weren't right together. Now, I make my absolutes clear, and I make it known that I won't compromise on them for anyone. I'd rather be honest with myself from the beginning instead of playing pretend that it will work out when one of us gives in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 01:00 PM
63

it kinda burns that he knows how to treat a woman, he just didn’t want to do it for me. It can be hard to remember that this is a reflection of him, not you. Even if from the outside he appears to have gotten his shit together, the fact that he didn't have the decency to do it for you speaks to his true nature. If I kick four puppies and then feed the fifth, I don't get a prize for having grown as a person. Decent people don't kick puppies to begin with, metaphorically speaking. Being a decent h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 08:09 PM
21

It feels like the way men react to appearance changes says a lot about their personality. When I was in college I dyed my bangs blond on my own. Admittedly it did not look good, but I was happy with it. When my ex saw it, he looked at it for a couple seconds and then said "I'd say this is a net negative." I had been excited about it but when he said that I started hating it, because I had a bad habit of basing my worth on what men thought of me (luckily I have outgrown this). Comparatively, back…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 02:00 PM
23

Foster cats not boyfriends!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 07:58 PM
62

Oh god booking the appointment himself is so important. My last partner booked it all himself, and my soon-to-be partner just got tested in anticipation before I even had the chance to ask for it. If a partner asked me to book it for him I would drop him right then. I'm not his secretary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 07:36 PM
6

Hello! I just found this subreddit yesterday. I spent several hours browsing top of all time and couldn't get enough. I don't necessarily agree with all the ideology posted here, but it's such a breath of fresh air to see women putting themselves first. I definitely noticed some behavior being called out that I've been guilty of in the past... Looks like I've got some things to work on. Baby steps for now but I'm happy to learn about a new perspective and how I can grow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 07:01 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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