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Skanky_the_Samurai Archive

View 2 posts and 72 comments by Skanky_the_Samurai on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
36

Skanky_the_Samurai/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 09:33 PM
11

Skanky_the_Samurai/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 08:19 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

My STBXW has accumulated $600,000 in debt. I make $92,000 a year. The nights I’m able to sleep, I have a recurring nightmare that I’m in the middle of the ocean and there’s nothing in sight. Eventually I get so exhausted that I can’t tread water anymore and I sink to the bottom of the ocean. I wake up in terror and I can’t go back to sleep. So I go to work on a couple hours of broken sleep. I know how you feel brother. I don’t know how I’m gonna get out from under this.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 01:46 AM
1

A little advice from someone who’s been going through it for a year. She’ll try to be nice to you to manipulate you. Try to get you to let your guard down. Don’t ever forget what she did. And be fuckin ruthless. Not in the sense that you’re mean or cruel to her to try to hurt her. Just don’t let your emotions sway you into betraying your own interest. Because believe me, she’ll try. And they can be so convincing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 01:37 AM
4

Go fuck a chick’s brains out. Coming from a loveless 25 year marriage it was amazing. Just don’t try to get into a serious relationship for a while. I waited 6 months to start looking for a committed relationship and the woman I’m with is amazing. Use the time now to have fun. You’re gonna make a lot of mistakes. Just view it as practice for when you meet a great woman. Just wait until you experience passionate sex again for the first time. Being with a beautiful woman who desires you… if there’…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 01:30 AM
3

Don’t feel bad. You’re supposed to be able to trust your spouse. That took me a while to understand. But I take responsibility for ignoring the red flags and I never will again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 05:53 PM
3

Good luck brother. I hope it works out for your family’s sake. Losing my family was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure. Worse than losing my father and brother. ETA - I think one of the hardest things for me to accept was the idea of what she must’ve thought about me the whole time. I can’t prove, and she won’t admit, that she had a sexual affair. But what I can prove is that she charged up over half a million in debt. And she won’t tell me where any of it went. I’m not a sucker. I know t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 10:50 AM
18

If she didn’t cheat on you, it’s only because she hadn’t had the opportunity to yet. Or she was building up the courage to cross the rubicon. You just caught her before she went through with it. If you hadn’t caught her she’d be going through with it right now. She wouldn’t feel bad about it at all. And the only reason she feels bad now is because she got caught. She had the affair fantasy and the fairy tale divorce in her head the entire time she was treating you like shit. Now let her find out…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 03:26 AM
2

If you don’t mind sharing, what was the financial infidelity. I’m finding out more every day. But my STBXW has charged up (so far) over a half million in debt. $150,000 in 18 months. I make $92,000 a year. I have no idea how I’m going to get myself out from under this. We’re selling a house and making some money off of it. But instead of splitting it, and both having a down payment on a place to start our lives over, it’s just a drop in the bucket. It’s just nice to know there are others out the…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 03:11 AM
9

I know it’s hard to accept, but every day you spend with someone who doesn’t want to be with you is time you could be with someone who cherishes you. I spent 25 years trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. As hard as it is now, 6-12 months from now you’ll be stronger than ever. You’re in the first part of your journey. Feel and process every emotion. Good luck. 👊
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 07:37 PM
1

Group fitness classes are a great option. You get in shape. You meet women who are also in shape, or at least trying to get there. And it gives you something to do on a schedule every night. Instead of sitting on the couch drinking and feeling sad. And if you do boxing or some kind of martial art, you might actually become a badass and learn how to fight. Women love that. Good luck man. It’s tough to get out of that funk. But once you do you’ll be stronger on the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 10:50 AM
2

I agree. Go get some stank on your hang low.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/26 01:14 AM
2

I literally did a google search for “female pitbull divorce attorney” and she came up. She wasn’t bad. I consider myself a reasonable person, and there are some things I think she could’ve done better. It was very hard to talk to her on the phone. Even if it was very important I would have to call her office, schedule a phone call and wait a week. If I could do it over again, I’d hire the type of attorney you described. But I don’t have any ragrets.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 02:52 PM
2

I hired a “female pitbull” attorney. What this guy is saying is great advice.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 12:38 PM
1

Good point. I don’t know what it is about their psyches that causes them to do this. But they’re all like Swiss clocks.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/26 12:00 AM
2

For me it was edible THC. Some might disagree with that and I understand. For me it was about harm reduction. They’re non addictive and they helped with chronic pain.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 10:24 AM
10

Make sure you don’t fall into any traps. She could try to set you up. Don’t make or answer any calls with her. If she texts you or emails you ask your lawyer how to respond, if at all. If you EVER feel yourself getting emotional DONT respond in the heat of the moment. Give yourself an entire day to cool off. It sounds like she got a temporary restraining order. If you give her anything to take to the court it’ll be a permanent restraining order. Just cool off and let it expire. Don’t give her wh…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 10:22 PM
2

Don’t give up
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 06:30 PM
3

Try to get it finalized ASAP. As others said, it could turn nasty REAL fast. Try to get it finalized before she has the seed planted in her head. Then resist the urge to be friends with her or get back together. At all costs.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 03:30 PM
1

The simplest way to say it would be that our enemies know that weakening the family unit is the first step in destroying our country. TikTok is owned by a foreign government. When you create an account they already know everything about you. So a woman in her 40’s has an algorithm set up for her that pushes certain videos to the top of her feed. It either plants the seeds in her head, or validates what she already believes. I think that’s the best way to put it without getting into Republican vs…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 02:27 PM
5

I dealt with this cycle of disrespect for 25 years. A lot of similarities and a lot of differences. But I can tell you she will never change and the disrespect will grow exponentially over the years. I’m not saying you should get a divorce or try to work on your relationship. Only you can make that choice. But there is no love without respect. There can never be. If you’re BOTH not willing to work on YOURSELVES then the relationship will never improve. I know what you’re going through and it suc…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 02:10 PM
2

Join a gym or some type of a group exercise class together. Do healthy meal prep for the week together on Sunday. Set goals for yourselves, accomplish them together, and celebrate each other’s victories. It can be a great way to spend quality time together. There is hope for your relationship. Don’t give up. Do it for your son.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 11:37 AM
6

I quit drinking January 1st 2025. I watched my 83 year old father die from late stage Alzheimer’s and it was absolutely horrifying. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol, except for one time when a friend cooked some chicken with some in the recipe. She felt horrible about it and I told her not to worry about it. I don’t really consider it a relapse. Man do I struggle almost every day with wanting to drink. Thinking about 25 years being behind me. My kids are adults. Losing my family, the one thing th…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 10:59 AM
9

Don’t take this the wrong way, but you are definitely not ready to start dating. You will get your heart broken. There are people who prey on vulnerable men your age. You could get emotionally and financially exploited. You could also break a good woman’s heart. I understand the need to have sex and feel physical affection. It’s soul crushing. But the pain of your first post divorce breakup is even worse. Just give yourself some time. Don’t set an arbitrary timeline. For me it was 6 months. But …
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 10:39 AM
4

Take responsibility for your actions and hold her accountable for hers. Don’t go too far one way or the other.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 08:02 PM
1

Grudge-fuck
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 06:46 PM
4

My STBXW went back to college to get a post graduate degree and started hanging out with a group of divorced middle aged women. I could read the writing on the wall as soon as she did. She had a fairy tale in her head about divorce the same way little girls fantasize about their fairy tale marriage. Her demands were so unreasonable. In the last 2 years of our marriage she accumulated $150,000 in additional debt. Yet somehow she expected me to let her keep the house, pay her 3x the state guidelin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 04:08 PM
9

The woman you described was my STBXW. We met when she was 18 and I was 22. Married 25 years. Boy did she change. Midlife crisis and perimenopause hit her HARD. She became the exact opposite of everything that made me fall in love with her. Don’t put any woman on a pedestal. It’s possible you could have spent the rest of your lives together. But she’s human and so are you. More than likely she would never have lived up to the fantasy of what you’ve built up in your head.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 02:14 PM
8

Realizing my STBXW wasn’t anything special at all was liberating. Fuck her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 11:39 AM
2

FWIW I had the same problems. The anhodenia really worried me. I went about six months with no sex. I started dating my girlfriend and I was petrified. I didn’t know how I was going to perform. So I was honest with her. I laid all my cards on the table and communicated openly with her. I told her I might have trouble getting it up. I might have trouble keeping it up. I could be done in 30 seconds or I could last 30 minutes. I told her that pleasing her was very important to me and that I love gi…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 11:17 AM
0

And get a vasectomy!
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 02:12 AM
3

I’m not sure if every cruise has social events planned for singles, but I just got back from an MSC cruise and they did.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 02:07 AM
3

Invite her over for a three-way
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 01:39 AM
5

I know how you feel. If you ask anyone hypothetically if they would stay with a cheater or break up, they will almost always say break up. But the actual statistics say that around 60% of people who have been cheated on stay with their partner. My point is that it’s so much harder, when you’re actually going through it, to see it for what it is. Any objective person could look at it from the outside and tell you the reality of your situation. But love and emotions will cloud your judgement. I’m …
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 01:26 AM
1

GD this is so true. Perimenopause turned my wife into an enormous piece of shit Human being. She thought it excused everything. She literally thought she could do no wrong. Imagine a 43 year old man who says, “I’m not responsible for ANYTHING I do. My testosterone levels are dropping!”
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 11:00 PM
1

No we’re at an impasse. Just waiting for trial. Too many details, but she had a deal that would’ve set her up for life. But she refused to take it. I don’t know if she’s evil or stupid. Probably both.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 01:00 AM
3

Sorry brother. We had a virtual mediation a month ago. The mediator would go back and forth between our “rooms”. He came back one time and said “My God. She’s a piece of work. How’d you stay married to that for 25 years?” I just laughed and said thanks. You have no idea how validating that is. It might sound cliche, but just keep showing up for your kids. Be the calm steady presence in their lives. They will see you both for what you truly are one day. They might already have. My 24 year old dau…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 06:37 PM
10

If it helps, you’re not alone. I’ve been finding out things that my STBXW has been saying about me. I think she just can’t accept responsibility for her horrible actions. So she has to construct some reality in her head, and she truly believes it. I don’t have any advice. Just wanted to let you know youre not alone. 👊
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 05:55 PM
5

This might seem harsh, but it really is this simple. Respect yourself. You deserve better. Everyone does.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 05:46 PM
1

Be prepared for it to hit you all at once. Like a sledgehammer. Please hear me out. Leaving my ex of 25 years was absolutely the right decision. For so many reasons, but I’ll just tell you that she charged up $150,000 of debt in 18 months. And still won’t tell me where it went. I planned my exit for months. I told my 81 year old mother what was going on, and that I planned to confront her about the money. I just needed to gather enough documentation so the ex couldn’t gaslight me. My mother’s pl…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 07:02 PM
1

A year?! You have my sympathy brother. YOU stay strong!
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 10:15 PM
2

Thanks. She has until the end of the week. I’ll try to update you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 10:14 PM
4

I’m in the middle of a pretty nasty divorce. Please don’t try to reconcile with her. I’ll try to make my story short… At the end of 2024, beginning of 2025 my father was dying of late stage Alzheimer’s. My STBXW turned into the nastiest, most unempathetic, unloving, and cruel human being. I would come home from visiting my dad in the nursing home emotionally drained. There were days when he would hallucinate and scream in terror. He couldn’t walk, and almost every day he would defecate on himsel…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 04:44 PM
2

Her getting half of my retirement is my wide awake nightmare. I’ve worked for 30 years for that. I don’t think she would. She has a doctorate degree and works. Florida is an equitable distribution state, so I’m pretty sure they would add up the value of both of our retirements and divide it in half. I make slightly more than her, but not enough for her to get alimony. Plus I believe they look at future earning potential when they calculate alimony. I sincerely hope you’ve found some peace. I kno…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 02:00 PM
2

Love your username BTW. I Choose Volence as well. 🥊🥋
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 01:04 PM
3

Fuck me running. I’m sorry. So many similarities to me. One thing I have going for me is that I’m living with my 81 year old mom in my childhood home and it’s paid off. I make a good living but I’m saving a lot of money by not having to pay rent. Plus when I read the writing on the wall and saw we were headed for divorce, I got my car paid off early. It’s nothing fancy but it’s only 4 1/2 years old and in great shape. I’m hoping it’ll last for a good while. I know it could be worse and I’m not t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 01:02 PM
2

I love everything you said. It might sound like douchey corporate speak, but I really believe in being a proactive vs reactive person. For me that means I only concern myself with the things I can control. There’s always something I can do to affect a positive outcome in any situation. And if not I don’t let it affect me. For me it also means that I am accountable for every decision I make. I responded to someone else earlier, but I chose to marry her. I chose not to establish clear boundaries. …
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 12:50 PM
7

Thanks brother. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. But it’s nice to know I’m not alone. It looks like trial is inevitable at this point. I just pray that the judge will look at the terms I was offering her. Hopefully they will say that since she turned down such a reasonable offer and negotiated in such bad faith that I can recover the extra money that it’s going to cost in attorney fees. Plus the interest that is unnecessarily compounding between now and trial. I live in Florida so I don’t know if…
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 10:45 AM
4

I’m trying to emotionally prepare myself for trial. You just have no idea how much of a logistical nightmare that’s going to be. She’s created such a web of debt. I’ve been working for 30 years. I make a good salary plus overtime. I should be in a good position to retire comfortably in a couple years. She’s destroyed me.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 10:36 AM
7

Oof ain’t that the brutal truth. I saw her mom and every other woman in her family act like this. But I was so blind for 25 years. I thought she was different.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 12:34 AM
6

Sometimes you just want to be understood. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 12:28 AM
8

Thanks. That’s exactly what I need to hear. I DID choose her. I ALLOWED her to squander my money instead of investing it for retirement. I’m the ONLY one who’s responsible for not establishing boundaries. As bitter of a pill as that is to swallow, it’s the only way to stop myself from falling victim to someone again in the future. We are the architects of our own lives. We’re in control of every decision WE make.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 12:27 AM
7

Thanks. I’m in Florida. I’ll ask my lawyer about that. I have a feeling she is going to come back with a counteroffer, thinking I’ll be so desperate to get through this that I’ll take anything. My friend suggested that if she comes back asking for the child support she asked for, which was almost 3x the state guidelines, I can make a stipulation that the extra money be placed in a trust fund for my son’s college. And that she not be able to squander it like the soulless succubus that she is. So …
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 12:22 AM
2

Leaving for a cruise in 13 days 🎉
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 12:12 AM
3

One day, one hour at a time. I’m just defeated right now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 10:39 PM
2

Please, if nothing else, understand one thing. She will wait until you are as emotionally vulnerable as possible, to make the most unreasonable and one sided demands. You DO NOT have to give in to them. Please don’t fall for it.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 12:42 AM
2

It gets better. I promise you. I know it’s hard to see right now. But another way to look at it is that when you’re at rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up. And in a couple months, after that switch has flipped in your head, you’ll be the strongest mother fucker you’ve ever been. And each day you’ll get even stronger. Stay the course. 👊🏻
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 11:54 AM
2

You don’t love her. You are just going through withdrawals from the chemicals in your brain that the sense of security of being with her gave you. It’s just like going through withdrawals from drugs. Think about the 3 worst things she’s done to you. Think about how being with her made you feel shitty. Think about her laughing at you, mocking you in disgust, while she’s fuckin a bunch of other dudes. Hopefully that’ll help.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 08:31 PM
1

In addition to lifting weights and abstaining from all alcohol, something that helped me was martial arts. It’s like a second family. I’ve made some friends for life. 👊🏻
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 08:24 PM
2

One more thing I’d like to add. I don’t know how long you were together, but I was with the ex for 25 years. The last 2 years were an absolute hell. She tried to make me so miserable that I would leave. One day I finally had enough. I just said to myself I can’t do this anymore. I was living with a stranger who was incapable of empathy and was taking joy in how miserable she was making me. I would never hit her, or any woman. But I snapped. I just reached my absolute limit. And yet after I left,…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 07:36 PM
2

I’m happy for you. I was in a toxic marriage for 25 years. My girlfriend really restored my faith in romantic love. I had no idea what an emotionally healthy relationship even looked like, or that it was possible to have one. I thought my marriage was normal and exactly what I deserved. And the PASSIONATE sex… OOF!
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 04:54 PM
4

Give yourself time to process all the emotions you’re feeling. It will probably take a couple months. But don’t suppress them. Think of it like lifting weights. You’re literally traumatizing your muscles when you lift. Your body needs time to heal the tears you create in your muscle tissues. And the muscle growth occurs when you rest. And it occurs over time. Not all in one week or month. Healing from emotional trauma works on the same principle. Because it is an actual physical trauma. Not givi…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 02:13 PM
3

Damn B. I don’t have any advice for you, just want to let you know I understand what you’re going through. I know how frustrating it is having to deal with a vengeful unreasonable ex. I hope your GF makes you happy.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 01:55 PM
1

I just spoke to my attorney yesterday. I make $20,000 more than the STBX. My attorney did some calculations based on how much I pay for the kid’s insurance and determined SHE would owe ME $105 a month in child support. 🥳 And I will take EVERY penny of it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 02:46 PM
1

I’ve tried. We’re at an impasse. She expects me to give her the house. If I do that, I would have $200,000 in debt and forfeit $100,000-125,000 in equity. I told her we need to sell the house so we can both start with a clean slate (zero debt and a nest egg). She says she’ll never do that. Sounds like our situations are similar. I just can’t afford to shoulder that much debt. I’m 48. It would destroy my life, emotionally and financially.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/26 02:41 PM
2

Yeah I definitely don’t plan on doing anything illegal or unethical. I have a teleconference with my lawyer Tuesday so I’m going to ask her. But I think you’re right and I remember her saying that the filing date is the cutoff for when finances separate. Filing was last Monday, so it might not even be necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 11:23 PM
1

I know and I’m planning on paying that with the money we make from the sale of the house. And my share of the equity should be about $125,000. That’s how much I’ll pocket. By the time we go to mediation or trial, I should have about $10,000 in my account. I’m working about 40 hours of overtime per pay period. I wouldn’t just be handing over $5,000. I’d be handing over 97 hours of my labor. And it would evaporate the second she got her hands on it. So it means a lot more to me than “just a couple…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 03:40 PM
2

Thanks for the tip. I’ll look into that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 03:38 PM
1

Thanks that’s really good advice. I’ll run it by my lawyer before I pay it off. And I’m definitely planning on 50/50 with anything more than that being a pleasant surprise.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 10:07 PM
1

I live in Florida which is an equitable distribution state (not 50/50). There’s a lot of moving parts in my situation, but my attorney said I should PLAN on splitting everything 50/50. Ideally after we sell our house and payoff our debt we should have $250,000 in equity to split. The court might give me more than half of that, or they might just split everything down the middle. I’m happy with getting $100,000-125,000. Anything more than that will be a pleasant surprise and will get invested wis…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 08:52 PM
1

I’m in a similar situation. 26 years. Right now is the easiest it will ever be. It will only get more difficult every year that passes by. It’s daunting. It seems insurmountable. But you CAN do it. Picture yourself 5 years from now. She moves out and files for divorce. She’s acquired 5 more years of debt. She’s been talking to all of her divorced friends who have told her every way to screw you over. She’s been watching every toxic feminist TikTok video. You’re still going to have two households…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 08:34 PM
4

Dr Terraban is awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:48 AM
1

This is the best advice I’ve ever heard 😢
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 04:00 AM
2

Don’t think of introversion as a disadvantage. Think of it as a superpower. Learn to be comfortable around other people without having to be the loudest, most boisterous person in the room. Be happy being the quiet guy who can hang with his group of friends and not feel the need to say anything, or be expected to say anything. When you do speak, make it intentional. Believe me, women will be drawn to you. There a lot of female dating coaches on YT, but I recommend Courtney Ryan, Appolonia Ponti,…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 04:38 AM
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