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Smeat_Jenkins Archive

View 1 posts and 30 comments by Smeat_Jenkins on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Directly? No. What I've managed to coax out of her, and trip her up by... well being a bit of an intentional asshole to get her emotions going so she might slip up and speak honestly for once? She never actually liked me or loved me. Her last boyfriend before she met me told her nobody would ever love her "like that" because she "isn't marriage material" or some shit. So she saw me, thought I was cute, latched her goddamn talons into me, played the part of the really fun perfect girlfriend who l…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 02:56 AM
4

Oh trust me, her whole ass family reminded me of that. #facts
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 02:54 PM
16

Good for you. Legit. I wish it was this "easy" for many of us. Having a kid with my ex is forcing entirely too many interactions with the ex and her family. it's unpleasant at best most of the time. And I have to say nothing and do nothing in her presence because literally anything I exist with around her she over-reacts to, gets emotional and I get chastised by everyone. Like today, I was getting some of my furniture from the house she's taking in the divorce. She starts popping off snide comme…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 05:23 AM
4

I smile a lot now that I came to the realization that my ex ain't shit. She's a deceptive lady with serious issues she needs to work on but thinks herself the victim. She had all the knowledge and chose instead to be just like her mother in all the worst ways, then gave me the "I am an honest woman" speech while she was pursuing other guys while we were married and cleverly stealing money from our family to pad her divorce funds. I have some sad moments and hate some parts of my newly single lif…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 11:59 PM
11

For me it was reflecting back on my relationship, and discovering that she was absolutely NOT marriage/relationship minded. She played the part, to an extent, but never opened up, or was honest to a degree I firmly believe couples should be with each other. (for example: if past traumas are affecting your relationship currently, that's required knowledge, or it can destroy the marriage as it did mine.) Before and after that, however, the brutal truth was realizing that what ended up being a terr…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 02:44 AM
1

Yeah, the first time I told anyone that i choked on the words it hurt so bad. Then I started telling more and more people, not even for sympathy but to get it off my chest. ​ Most people cringed, called her a bitch, and tried to comfort me. ​ MY therapist pointed out the truth: She just admitted that she's the one who is fucked up and needs help. I was a victim of her bullshit. I need to heal. now it's like a punchline to a fucking joke. I pity her next vict... boyfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 12:45 AM
9

why do I feel like that response needs to be on a tshirt or bumper sticker?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:37 PM
19

After 18 years of marriage, facing her decision to divorce me, I asked her to give me a chance to prove I could be the awesome husband I used to be. ​ She looked me dead in the eyes and said "you were never a good husband." When I asked why she married me if I was so awful, she said "my childhood trauma taught me to just accept whatever shit I got stuck with."
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 01:15 PM
2

Side topic: getting hit at 40 with the divorce a year after she had me get a vasectomy puts me in this weird boat where half the women in my age range (the younger half) want to start a family. I know I could get it reversed (with high chances of success, allegedly) but that means I'd have to meet someone, get serious with them, have surgery to reverse it, and spawn some babies with them. At my age unless they're just really young (which is a turn off to me because I realize now my ex was 19 whe…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 12:01 PM
1

Shit you make me almost feel bad for bitching about being 40 and divorcing. I still feel like my whole prime got stolen from me. The time you're supposed to spend working together to build a solid foundation before you ride off into the sunset together. She got her debts paid off and bailed. I don't know, maybe I still have a chance. Pickin's get slim though. Everyone's married by my age, or too young if they're single. Right?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 11:57 AM
4

The same women who never gave you the time of day before, suddenly interested if you can support them? I know a guy who post divorce would regale us with tales of his dating efforts. Met a woman, was having a good time, talking on the FIRST DATE, and she says with a straight face: "Yeah I really think this could work, you have a nice home and make enough money I think you could support and take care of me and my kids." There was no second date.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 11:53 AM
0

Naw, see mine will do the dead eyes thing, but when I started pressing her for any guidance (like I'm seeing a therapist because OUR KID BEGGED US TO, she wouldn't go with the family, so I decided to just go solo to unpack my own bullshit) in order to know what I even have to unpack. Like, if I was a shitty asshole husband for 18 years, how did I not realize I was "hurting" her or whatever, and how do I be a better person? ​ Anyway, when I started getting "real' with her holy fuck did her eyes t…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:55 AM
2

JFC, that's exactly what she did. Lied and said she liked everything I was doing, secretly hated it. Then she tells me she started looking at maybe a divorce a year ago, and rather than looking for how we could be better and heal, she just (admittedly) started keeping a tally of all the "asshole" things I did. When she finally blew up, it was like a whole explosion of bullshit I've done forever. No chance of recovery. ​ And when I dared mention that she had been treating me like shit? Dude the d…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:45 AM
5

My main thing that's been helping me is to focus on everything in our relationship and identifying where we went wrong. Specifically, not blaming myself, but taking an objective look at how many times she was awful and made me miserable. The ways she wasn't good in a relationship. Sure I'm still partially to blame, but once I realized how much she was actually to blame as well, and how miserable she often made me feel, I have come to peace with most of it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:16 AM
3

Yeah it's kind of a thing with "oh you lost the house to the ex, how much equity cash did you get? #ladyboner"
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 01:56 AM
3

Because I still have something to offer women. No really, the ex hasn't taken everything in the divorce so there are still some scraps for the next woman.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 06:36 PM
3

Ouch man. I feel you. My marriage was shit, but I loved her so I stuck with it and tried to discuss things with her. Turns out she hated the relationship and was counting down the days to convince herself she needed to get divorced. Now here we are. I'm not happy about it, she is happy (pretending she isnt) and I am slowly drifting into acceptance that its over. I just hope its not too late for me to find my forever partner. I envy those who grow old together loving one another.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 03:51 AM
1

I hate it. But I would be right the fuck there too if my stbx were to accept it. My whole self has been destroyed. Everything I knew and loved about myself has become pure evil and dog shit. I struggle to joke with anyone so my humor is dead. I am paranoid I am iust offending everyone. I no longer feel loveable. I feel you man. The truth is her behavior has been shitty for years too, but I always "knew" she loved me and it was just life stressing her out and she needed a rock to beat her stress …
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 01:52 AM
1

I hate how after everything, I still want to be with her? It makes no sense but love isnt logical, its insanity at its finest and its worst.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 10:21 PM
1

ugh yeah I felt this man. we had so many chances to fix it but I wasnt good enough to be told there was a real problem. Now its too late and that makes it the best time to say "okay there was a real problem"?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 10:18 PM
1

I appreciate you taking the time. And I have accepted, albeit painfully, that its over over. I hate that it turned to this, but I am trying to figure out what the post game looks like. Allowing myself to let my eyes wander to other pastures. Focusing on what I need to talk to my therapist about. Talked to my doctor about the medications I am now taking, alternatives, and getting some testing done including getting checked in case she did stray and caught something and regifted it to me. Thanks a…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:18 AM
2

I appreciate your honest response. The truth is, low self esteem, and a lack of control over how my heart feels. When these negatives (which is mostly what the post is about, because obviously I am not here to vent about the good times) arent occurring she is absolutely wonderful to be with. She is smart, beautiful, intoxicatingly cute when she giggles and is passionate about stuff. Tbh, she is also VERY sexually compatible with me, and when she gets affectionate (sex or just cuddling) my whole …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:11 AM
0

While I like the idea here, the problem is that apparently I am divorce-worthy. if she vanished off the earth or died or something, it wouldn't be "I'm leaving you but I won't tell you why" it would be "life sucks I lost my wife." The fact of the matter is I've managed to get some answers out. It's taken a lot of pressure to get things out but I have managed to unwind some of the issues. I hate that she couldn't just tell me outright, but answers are answers I guess, even if they may be tainted …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 12:28 AM
7

Not at all the same scenario, but yeah, the feeling for sure. For me I never fell out of love I just felt like she was treating me poorly, and withholding sex. We both had stresses to deal with so I was willing to overlook her behaviors mostly, but we did get into arguments often. But I definitely believe that she fell out of love with me, became complacent in the relationship and used me for sex (only when she decided she really wanted it, or, and she actually said this at least once: "I didn't…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 07:34 AM
0

I appreciate it, but I dunno, I feel like the "lol I can literally unlock this door with my finger" was a reality "slap in the face" to the whole "I hAvE tO lOcK mY dOoR bEcAuSe...." I don't even really know why? Locking the door is a childish drama-queen reaction that lets her have a good "I'm so stunning and brave, I have to lock my door for safety *gasp, sigh, faint*" sort of thing. Just showing her how absurd and pointless it is. The door is one of those cheap thin interior doors my kid coul…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:57 AM
1

Yeah. I hate it. ​ It's not wrong though. The woman I love and married is in there somewhere. But her love for me is dead. There's no fixing things. I'm trying to line up what I need to get accomplished and see how it might work. I don't know really. I have to figure out if I can actually afford to live. My bills aren't going down when this split finalizes. Rent is more than our mortgage. Bills ain't getting cheaper. Reality is I genuinely don't know the logistics of everything. ​ She does seem …
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:50 AM
2

I don't doubt it. I've described her attitude as very temperamental, even "Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde" levels of flipping switches. But I think suggesting that she's got a serious mental issue is something I'll have to save for a day when I'm at wits end and looking to be a serious prick. ​ As much as she's hurt me I can't bring myself to want to do that.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:44 AM
1

I don't want to talk to the therapist about the attempt because they indicated it would (probably) be a mandatory report to the police. That sort of ammo would essentially guarantee I lose most/all custody, probably lose everything, possibly my job as well. A situation like that will essentially spiral into future attempts as there would be absolutely no hope or reasons left to live. As for everything else, I'm trying to get through that with my therapist now. I have a lot of micro-traumas, self…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:42 AM
0

I had a lengthy rant/discussion with the stbx tonight. Won't get into most of the details as I'm still processing but wanted to chime in on one thing: I told her that I would continue to respect her decision to kick me out of the bed because I do agree that I was wrong to attempt to "hack" her phone. It was stupid, regardless of how "justifiably concerned/scared" I was that lead me to do it, it was a violation of her privacy/rights and I own that. But I told her it would be nice if she could sto…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:27 AM
1

Fun fact, I brought that up and she absolutely refuses to believe she did that. It's wild how many times she's said/done absolutely brutal things to me and then says "I don't remember that." Yeah well these emotional scars remember it. Christ they remember it. And no, it's not "off topic" because it is one of the many collaborative traumas that lead me to do stupid shit later.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 04:15 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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