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Smithersink Archive

View 7 posts and 171 comments by Smithersink on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

People don’t change when they have nobody holding them accountable. Even though you love him, you already understand it can’t work like this. You need to leave him, for your own good, and for his own good, if he’s ever going to learn that this isn’t how a healthy relationship works. Don’t dance around it; tell him why, and don’t fold when he tries to convince you to stay.
/r/ExRedPill30/04/26 04:40 PM
7

Unfortunately, somebody who’s deep into Red Pill isn’t going to be converted by a woman. This is a thing he’s got to work out on his own, and you should leave him for your own good. Be as honest as possible, let him know why you’re leaving him, and don’t let him try to persuade you into staying. Hopefully he’ll do some introspection and mature by his next relationship.
/r/ExRedPill06/04/26 05:01 AM
2

The Red Pill, and the Manosphere in general, has always been a broad umbrella containing many different people and views. But generally, if you get a bunch of one type of people together, they start to villainize and dehumanize those outside of the in-group. The Red Pill was a community for men; it’s no surprise that, whatever it may have started out as, it has leaned into villainizing and dehumanizing women.
/r/ExRedPill30/03/26 01:57 PM
3

I agree, I’m also slow to process things, but not unintelligent. They’re very different. Sometimes you just need to find people who will give you the time you need to respond.
/r/ExRedPill06/01/25 02:00 AM
1

If your point is that you’re ugly, then maybe try to improve on that. Like you said, you wouldn’t date someone just because they’re nice, so you wouldn’t expect a woman to date you just because you’re nice. But you also (presumably) wouldn’t date someone who’s a shallow bitch, right? Personality and physicality — they both matter, different amounts to different people. It’s not one or the other. I don’t think anyone on here is arguing that you shouldn’t work out or have game, or that the genetic…
/r/ExRedPill15/05/24 05:45 PM
2

I’ll never understand why these men complain about their partner’s past sexual life, which no one can change, but then stay with her just to demean her! Listen, he’s showing you how he really feels, and that feeling’s probably not gonna change, just get buried in the best case scenario. Don’t take this shit from anybody. Break up with his ass. If he thinks you don’t have any value, let him fare without you.
/r/ExRedPill11/08/23 03:11 AM
4

I think you should be able to flirt if you want to get women interested in you. Granted, flirting is a skill that takes time to learn and you can get better at it gradually, so no sweat. Also, not all flirting looks the same; different people prefer different kinds of flirting, so even if you’re not a conventional flirt, you can ultimately find somebody who likes your style. There’s a world of middle ground between Red Pill “pickup tactics” and awkwardly pining after girls with needy compliments…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/22 11:43 PM
1

That’s fine. Nobody’s making you be friends with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 02:31 AM
1

True for sure, but probably not as many as virgin men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 01:51 AM
3

This exactly! How are guys complaining that women don’t value chastity anymore but then turn around and also complain that women aren’t having sex with them?? You can’t have it both ways, fellas.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 01:49 AM
6

If you’re a virgin guy at 24 looking for a virgin wife and it’s not for religious reasons, just claim it is. Convert to evangelical Christianity and devote yourself to Jesus. Much less embarrassing and you improve your chances drastically. I highly doubt women who have held onto their chastity for dear life are trying to throw it away on dudes who desperately tried and just couldn’t get laid in college.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 01:46 AM
2

I think there’s a fallacy in asking for equivalents. Women hold much harsher/unfair standards than men in some regards, and men hold much harsher/unfair standards than women in others.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 03:25 PM
9

They have surgery to change your height, if we’re disregarding the amount of effort needed. It’s possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 03:23 PM
2

My question whenever I see posts like this is, why do you care? If the women you’re talking about are genuinely less desirable than other women you could be getting with, then their existence in the dating pool should be irrelevant to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 06:52 PM
1

I aspire to feel this way, but in my experience, there’s a certain threshold of happiness that I just can’t pass if I haven’t at least gotten laid in several months, and being in a committed relationship is probably the primary factor in my happiness. Doesn’t mean I settle for people who don’t make me happy. Doesn’t mean I think it’s healthy to be dependent. But I definitely don’t choose to tie my happiness to relationships; they’re just strongly intertwined, and I think there’s a certain level …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 06:47 PM
11

If I hear that a woman prefers “muscular dudes with abs and a 9 inch cock,” and I’m not, I’m less likely to pursue that woman because I don’t fit that preference, and I’ll think she’s shallow and rude for sharing that. That doesn’t mean she can’t have that preference, and I don’t blame anybody for having a preference like that. You can have your preference. You just don’t have to share it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 04:18 PM
3

By your reasoning, incels aren’t really involuntarily celibate because most of them could just hire a prostitute. The reason incels don’t see this as validating is because men attach value to being able to get women in bed without money. To assume women are going to have as much random sex as men would given the chance is to ignore what’s largely different between men and women. Women don’t attach value to meaningless sex, whether it’s because of biology, or because women were conditioned by soc…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 05:32 AM
1

I agree with the sentiment that men are too judgmental about promiscuous women’s lifestyles. Of course someone having more partners shouldn’t lessen your value as a human being or make you any less deserving of respect. But people have a right to have their preferences. And, love it or hate it, a woman not being promiscuous is one of the top preferences of men. Doesn’t mean it’s fair, doesn’t mean it’s rational. But I don’t think it’s just the incel guys who care.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 08:58 PM
2

Correction: People should settle down with whoever they can find who they actually want to spend the rest of their life with, who feels the same about them. That is a high bar. Beyond that, young, smart, and attractive are a definite plus.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 06:38 PM
2

That’s honestly why I don’t do dating apps and I think most men shouldn’t. Too much work for too little payout. Meeting women in person is better imo—less competition. You still have to make the first move most of the time, but just ask questions and if they don’t eventually start to reciprocate, they’re not worth your time. At the end of the day, yes, there are plenty of things that suck about being a man. One way to keep that from making you bitter? Remember that there are plenty of things tha…
/r/ExRedPill29/09/22 10:48 PM
1

Interesting distinction. Does cam girls include anything solo female, or just the live / interactive stuff? Also wondering if it’s because simping after these women is unmanly or because it implies some sort of personal/emotional connection to these women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 07:56 PM
24

I don’t understand how men think dating apps like Tinder and Bumble are a good judge of women’s preferences, when women hardly even use these sites! You’re specifically selecting for women who are more into hookups and who care about superficial qualities, since these are what dating apps do best at. On top of that, when 80% of the user base is female, of course women (who I think are less superficial than men) are going to judge men’s attractiveness more harshly, since this is the only thing th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 06:45 PM
13

(Man here). I think both men and women get a little frustrated at the double standards they're held to by the opposite sex, even if both men and women have double standards. I agree that the best thing to do is just not to date these people, let the free market do its work, but I also understand why people get frustrated, because often these double standards are commonplace and it makes it harder to find a partner. Again, frustration is understandable, but the best path forward is just to shrug …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 05:39 PM
1

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for people in a committed relationship to give up porn; it’s kind of weird how it’s socially acceptable to lust after other people while in a relationship. But it really depends on the couple and their values, and both partners have to be enthusiastic about that decision, or else it will end up with dishonesty. I think it’s asking a lot for anyone to completely give up masturbation, though. And if you’re going to expect them to, I think you really have to be willi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 08:28 PM
17

Men average more lifetime sexual partners because of homosexuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 08:32 PM
1

But this gets to the crux of my argument. Everyone was a virgin once, but women are the only ones who are expected to preserve that virginity, by and large. Men can always hope to lose their virginity and become a “macho alpha-chad” but as a woman, if you’re labeled a slut by a certain part of the dating pool, you will always be a slut by the standards of said portion. Now this isn’t to say it’s all doom-and-gloom for women. On one hand, there’s more of a social pressure to suppress your natural…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 12:06 AM
1

These are all things that you can change, though, right? I’ve never heard of women lose interest in a guy because they found out he USED TO be broke.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 12:03 AM
5

I haven’t heard this at all. I’ve heard women say they prefer a guy who has some sexual experience because that means A) he knows what he’s doing, and B) other women have wanted to fuck him. That’s much different than wanting promiscuity or being okay with being cheated on. Nobody wants that. Men are simply more extreme in our desire for a chaste, loyal partner (which everyone wants to some degree or another).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 11:57 PM
11

Ooh! That’s a good one. I see women saying here that they don’t date man whores but it doesn’t seem to me that the ick factor / double standard is as high with women as with men when it comes to promiscuity. When it comes to gay shit, though, there’s definitely double standard favoring women. Thanks for this example.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 10:59 PM
5

I agree, the Manosphere has a creepy obsession with youth and virginity. That being said, people do get less attractive with age—men and women alike. The trick is finding someone who will still find you attractive in 50 years because of who you are, not because you’re young and hot. And those people are out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 08:10 PM
11

I think it’s cuz we assume it’s a lot of work, since there’s a lot of competition. Plus men seem to have such a strong preference for chastity, and attractive women have had more options, there’s the assumption that every attractive woman is promiscuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 03:34 AM
2

I think you can generally tell people (both men and women) who have a high body count from the way the act. Someone who feels the need to have sex with 100 different people is just obviously different from someone who doesn’t. That’s a generalization, obviously, but I think most of the time, you can tell. And I think men (and women) are perfectly fair to have that preference when picking a long-term partner. That said, you shouldn’t have to ask. I mean you can, but even if she says five or ten, …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 01:39 AM
2

Agree in part, but not completely. If I hear “put your dick in me” from someone I’m not dating, I think “sounds slutty, wants a hookup.” If that’s what you want, that’s all you need to say. But relationships take a little more tact/romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 04:44 PM
0

I mean if you think this is the case, sure. Don’t lower your standards if you’d be happier alone. It’s easy today for men to define ourselves by female attention, and it’s really not healthy. But this is an assessment every individual has to make for themself. Let me pose this question to you, though. If there’s an equal number of men and women, how can it be harder for men to find a woman than it is for a woman to find a man? Short term partners, sure, but why are you assuming that’s what women…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 04:17 AM
1

This sucks, but what do you want people to say? At a certain point, you’ve just gotta suck it up and fake it till you make it. Maybe go to therapy if you can afford it. Being depressed and bitter because you can’t get laid isn’t a good look, whether it’s a reasonable response or not. If you want to succeed at anything, you have to work at it and have faith that you can achieve it. Yes, having a woman certainly builds confidence. But do you really want you confidence to be dependent on another pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/22 04:12 AM
–

I think women tend to be left-wing in general and men tend to be right-wing in general for a few reasons: 1. Women tend to be more emotional and compassionate than men. 2. Men tend to make more money. 3. Feminism is traditionally on the left, which polarizes the genders. I think college accelerates this for a few reasons: 1. As people become more educated, they better understand what their own interests are. 2. Since colleges tend to be extremely left, women are radicalized by college while men …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 07:51 PM
0

I don’t think it really has to do with sex, and I don’t think it’s necessarily just that women don’t enjoy men as much as men enjoy women. My guess is that being single as a woman doesn’t lower your sexual marketplace value; you’re seen as something for the taking, a prize to be won. Whereas being single as a man sends the message that you can’t get a woman—especially if you’re not having sex. Even if it’s subconscious, I think men pick up on the fact that we tend to get more attention when we’r…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/22 02:09 AM
3

Thank you for giving me a rational response! I feel like everybody else misunderstood the question and saw it as me simply accusing men of having a double standard or not understanding that women can get laid easier. After reviewing a lot of these comments it seems like the answer is largely yes, paternity, going along with the fear that promiscuity leads to cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 05:43 PM
1

I mean rational in that, if every man thought about it, they could all come to the same rational conclusion that it’s better to be with someone less experienced. In this way, that kind of reason is similar to evolutionary reasons. As opposed to cultural reasons, which are not universal, and every man couldn’t rationally come to the same conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 04:02 PM
3

You haven’t given a rational explanation as to WHY men consider promiscuous women low value, you’ve just restated the obvious, that they DO, and also why promiscuous women are not specifically seen as high value. I’m looking for an explanation as to why women are specifically DEVALUED by having more sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 07:42 AM
3

I feel like you’re posing this as some sort of “gotcha” question, but this wasn’t mean to be an accusatory post at all. Money and status are obvious benefits to a woman in primitive times where she’s reliant on male strength. Height plays into that because, more often then not, height means strength. That’s a rational and evolutionary explanation. I’m looking for a similar explanation as to why men value chastity, which, on its own, is useless.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 07:32 AM
2

Interesting. Thanks for sharing. I think I’ve heard that a lot of Native American cultures are matrilineal and as a result families are matrilineal in Latin America? I could be mistaken. Do you know anything about that or how it could affect their view of promiscuity? Obviously, most of Latin America is Catholic, so that makes it a little more complicated regarding virginity…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 06:05 AM
4

Interesting. Thanks for sharing. I think I’ve heard that a lot of Native American cultures are matrilineal and as a result families are matrilineal in Latin America? I could be mistaken. Do you know anything about that or how it could affect their view of promiscuity? Obviously, most of Latin America is Catholic, so that makes it a little more complicated regarding virginity…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 06:04 AM
3

I’m obviously not talking about all men, I’m making generalizations based on the opinions I see here and the sentiments I see in broader society (such as the emphasis on female chastity on most traditional cultures). No, not all men are obsessed with chastity; yes, some women are very obsessed with chastity. I’m analyzing trends and trying to explain them. That doesn’t deindividualize anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 05:57 AM
3

That’s a pretty reasonable assumption. That seems to imply that this preference evolved in men before we had long courting processes; in modern society, obviously, we wait long enough before settling into a relationship with someone that we could probably tell if they were pregnant before we have sex (at least without birth control). But when I think about it, that process, along with the idea of monogamy, are probably more socially constructed in response to the chaos of our natural mating habi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 05:52 AM
4

Well, that’s beyond reasonable. If you’re waiting until marriage, I don’t see anything wrong with holding somebody else to that standard. I’m mainly talking about the preference men have seemingly always had, before there was data on this sort of think. The “ick” that men seem to have that women don’t, when it comes to imagining your spouse with other men, that causes us men to see a woman as “used up” where a man would not.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 05:44 AM
3

The specific obsession with virginity may be a unique quirk of the Abrahamic texts because of the whole Virgin Mary thing. But I’m sure the anti-promiscuity messages are pretty common across cultures, especially when it comes to women. I’m sure the double standard is largely due to patriarchy, but I don’t think you can chalk everything up to that; men and women are different, and different rules usually apply.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 04:20 AM
1

Np. I probably could’ve been more clear, but I didn’t want my original post to sound rambly. Interesting what you said about the Abrahamic religion’s effect on the rest of the world. I do think, though, there are a lot of parallels between the most dominant cultures in the world, at least, that can’t be explained just by association. I’m talking about, for instance, the traditional roles of men and women in western society as compared with east Asia. Obviously there’s many differences, but I’d b…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 04:04 AM
3

I see. I wasn’t trying to equate evolution with rationality. I was referring to those as two alternative/supplemental types of reason as opposed to purely cultural. By evolutionary reason, I mean an explanation that emphasizes different biological urges of men and women. By rational, I meant reasons that men have decided that it’s in their best interest to avoid promiscuous women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:56 AM
1

I suppose that makes sense on an evolutionary level, assuming that you’re mating very early in the relationship (in which case, she could already be pregnant by the time she settles down with you). Is this the argument you’re making? Otherwise, why would past events rationally matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:52 AM
6

I don’t understand this assumption that women would have more of a connection to their past partners than men, or why having had a connection would make you more jaded than not having had one. Can you explain?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:47 AM
0

Wait, which guy is more messed up?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 04:34 AM
7

It’s easier to find a virgin man. Whether it’s because he’s waiting for marriage or because he couldn’t get laid is a different story.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 03:04 AM
4

I don’t think it’s in the dictionary, but it’s definitely been used in politics / sociology in recent years in reference to identity politics.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 11:44 PM
3

I was sympathetic to feminism up until about 2014, when I feel like the focus on building consensus and tackling broader gender issues gave way to mostly tribalistic hatred of men. I definitely had my cringe-phase of watching a lot antifeminist YouTubers, but I think my opinions on feminism came more from seeing the things feminists were saying than how people were reacting to it. That’s not to say all feminists turned into man-haters, or even most, but that the most radical and irrational voice…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 08:15 PM
2

Most women could fuck most men if they wanted to. What men get wrong is thinking that they want to, just because most men would fuck most women if given the chance. Men and women are very different, and of course, we always want most what we have a harder time getting. For men that’s typically casual sex, for women that’s typically commitment. Of course not everyone falls into these stereotypes, and of course both men and women would choose the most attractive partner they can get. Red Pill men …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/22 07:12 PM
2

If you think that’s your best option, sure, do it; if there’s nothing wrong with a woman doing it, there’s nothing wrong with a man doing it. But first, familiarize yourself with the needs of raising children and ask yourself, are you really ready to do that on your own? Raising children is no easy feat for two parents—let alone for one! Why would you go through that willingly?! I think you’re also underestimating how many women want children. It might be that none of the women you’re dating (th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 08:10 PM
3

Because not all women are as shallow as TRP would have you believe. Most women (most people, I would hope) get into a relationship with someone they value and build a strong emotional bond with them. That bond would have to mean very little if she would just leave you for some other guy like that. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen to some people, or that it’s not something to worry about. But instead of assuming any girl will cheat on you with any guy who’s more conventionally attractive than …
/r/ExRedPill02/09/22 03:24 PM
1

For clarification, this is *ex-redpill; it’s not a Red Pill sub. I don’t use this term a lot, but it honestly sounds like you have a lot of internalized misogyny that you need to heal from. Your value is not determined by whether you can have kids, and I don’t understand how you would think this. It seems you’ve been spending a lot of time in the darker corners of the Red Pill community and I hope you meet some better people and learn that you can still be loved, not just after you turn 30 (that…
/r/ExRedPill02/09/22 12:17 AM
1

If I really wanted to have kids and that’s what it took, yes, I would. If a man demands that of his wife he should also be willing to endure that pain alongside her. It’s the long-term effects that I would worry about, though; does this simulation cause permanent damage to my body? That might change my answer. But regardless, I think if my partner was so resistant to giving birth that she wants me to go through it as compensation, I’d be perfectly happy to just adopt. No need in putting anyone t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 08:08 PM
4

Yeah, I don’t really get why people call it “creepy” when wealthy older men only date young, attractive women; they’re really just doing what most men would do if they could, and ultimately those women are choosing to date an older, wealthy man for a reason. Most women would probably date a billionaire if they could, and we don’t call that creepy. I think we honestly just use that word to shame somebody who has what we don’t. Maybe “shallow” is the right word, but you’d be too if you had that mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 10:25 PM
1

It’s not the red pill or the blue pill, but common sense. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, but don’t expect women to fall for you if you don’t try to improve yourself. Be a good person, but don’t be a pushover. Do what works for you; you can fuck lots of women if that works out for you, or you can wait for the right woman to come along—it really doesn’t matter, just follow your heart. If you’re bad at talking to women, make friends with women first, try to understand them better.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:40 PM
1

I think the main takeaway from these conflicting messages is that women are not a monolith. Yes, men will be chastised for being too aggressive, and yes, men will be chastised for not being aggressive enough, just as women are chastised for sleeping around or for not giving it up; but it’s not necessarily by the same people. Just because some feminists rant and rave about men mansplaining too much or being too aggressive, doesn’t mean every woman wants a passive man. And the woman saying how men…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 05:27 AM
2

I literally talked about that in my comment! I’m not going to kowtow to men or women who claim the hate all starts with the other side. A lot of men seem to hate women and a lot of women seem to hate men. And we both have a lot of reason to, especially if we’re shut up in our single-gender echo chambers and unable to understand the opposite sex.
/r/ExRedPill23/08/22 06:19 PM
1

Absolutely. I feel like the first step to dating women is having female friends (either ones you can date or ones who can introduce you to their friends), and the first step to having female friends is just having friends, period. And that’s not especially hard, it just takes putting yourself out there and talking to people.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 02:52 PM
1

From what I know, most women don’t really care about body count the way men do. It’s more that the guys who women like often happen to have high body counts because they’ve had a lot of opportunities and, again, men don’t get shamed for it like women do. So in other words, having sex with a lot of women won’t make you more attractive to them; women might even respect you more for not sleeping around, assuming that you’re attractive enough to have the opportunities. But what you really want to do…
/r/ExRedPill16/08/22 10:07 PM
3

You said you’re going for “younger, edgier types,” right? That’s probably your problem. In my experience, you can tell a lot more about a girl’s attitude towards sex and dating from how she presents herself than how quickly she sleeps with you. I think the more “edgy” and “fuck-you, dad” she is, the more she’s probably sleeping around, to destroy the patriarchy or something. Nothing wrong with that, but if that’s not what you want, stop dating edgy girls and find a nice, wholesome girl who seems…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 11:48 AM
2

I don’t want to sound like I’m putting the blame on feminism, but that’s what a lot of the Manosphere is largely in response to. I think so much of an emphasis has been placed in recent years on female empowerment that a large part of the population (young men) feel isolated and left behind. That leads to backlash as these young men become angry with their treatment, and they get resentful. The same thing is happening with young women, too, I believe. I think we’ve reached an unprecedented time …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 11:05 PM
2

Depends if you are comfortable with that fate. If not, it’s definitely not too late. You don’t just fall into a relationship though, so you probably need to be initiating things a little more. But on the other hand, if you really don’t care, and you don’t think you will, then you could just be what the incels call a “vol-cel.” That’d be pretty based, honestly. But if you choose that path… make sure you want that, because it might be hard to transition from later down the line.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/22 05:58 AM
12

It does really suck. Doesn’t help that (and this is just what I’ve seen and heard) awkward/autistic women often end up dating other women, I think just because it’s easier to find common ground with the same gender, but men aren’t as likely to go the gay route. However, I know a guy with Aspergers who’s into video games, guns, Jesus, and is pretty socially conservative, and he’s dating a girl who likes him for who he is and is also saving herself for marriage. There are people out there who will…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 03:51 AM
6

I’d at least like to think that men having hostile views toward women doesn’t translate to rape being normalized; we have laws and hundreds of years of values working against that. But I am unsettled by the growing number of men who totally resent women—as well as the growing number of women who resent men, I might add. If nothing else, it doesn’t bode well for the future of dating when men and women seem unwilling to understand and empathize with each other.
/r/ExRedPill10/08/22 03:42 AM
4

I agree, I’ve experienced this firsthand, and I always say, there are just as many evil women as evil men; they just don’t use violence as their main tactic, so it’s easier to ignore. It’s also true that society has a blind spot for this, though I don’t think it’s because men don’t stick together; I hear just as many men these days saying “all women are trash” as women saying “all men are trash”—which just goes to show there are a lot of shitty people out there of both genders, and a lot of idio…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 03:07 AM
1

I’m pretty vanilla because I honestly think a lot of the shit they do in porn is pretty depraved. So I generally like when women are more reserved when it comes to sex, such as waiting a few dates to have sex, etc. I don’t really mind too much when a woman is experienced (since I’ve had my fair share of partners in the past), but I’ll tell you one thing, she’d better not hold out on me just because we’re in a relationship; if I’m dating an experienced woman, it’s partly for the benefit that she …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/22 02:47 AM
1

Yes, there are men who very much want to get into a relationship, and yes, there are women who very much want to get laid, but overall, women are more interested in getting into relationships, where their emotional needs will be met (most women will choose a solid relationship with a partner she likes over several chances to have sex), while men are more interested in having sex (most men will choose not to commit if they are having sex with multiple partners already). So, most women can get lai…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 02:13 AM
1

Well yes, monogamy is the norm for a reason. But men, compared to women, are less choosy and I think more naturally promiscuous—probably because, again, our biological imperative to reproduce doesn’t require us to stick around and raise the kid. Our male-dominated society has enforced monogamy, I think, because the men in power realize it’s in their benefit (and probably the benefit of society’s stability) if partners are roughly one man to one woman, and if children are not left fatherless.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/22 01:58 AM
1

It’s a balance, but it ultimately depends on you and what’s going to make you happy. Obviously you can’t expect perfection; unless you’re perfect (and you’re not) then you have to set your standards reasonable to what you can achieve. But you also don’t want to settle for dating someone you’re not attracted to. Basically, if nobody who wants to date you is in your standards, then lower your standards; if still nobody wants to date you and you aren’t willing to let your standards go any lower, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 02:08 AM
1

I think you’re right that the suppression of red pill stuff is more prevalent in the West due to the culture war. One way you could frame it is that the “gynocentric leftist media” is suppressing it despite it having merit; another way you could frame it is that in the West, where the culture war is part of everything, media figured on both the left and the right fear how detrimental those lines of thinking can be for men, and China, having no stake in the stability of the West, either doesn’t c…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/22 01:49 AM
1

I may be projecting, but I believe while he’s saying how much sex he wants, he might want a girlfriend for the emotional connection and sense of being a “man.” I can understand how losing your virginity to a prostitute could feel like “cheating.” But the advice I’d give to him, if he really wants the feeling of getting a woman to sleep with him without paying her, is to work on himself. Working out, learning skills, and growing as a person is gonna make him both more attractive and more confiden…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/22 05:11 PM
2

Not to rub salt in the wound here, but being rich won’t solve your bitterness, which is what a lot of your problems are probably stemming from. I get that it can be hard to appreciate women when all you face is rejection, but the one thing women find less attractive than a man who can’t get girls is a man who’s bitter and angry about it. What you need to do is take some time to better yourself before you can expect to find a girlfriend. Maybe that means working out, learning a new skill, or gett…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/22 05:43 AM
4

I think men (especially men with an over-inflated ego) don’t particularly favor monogamy because it means we can’t spread our seed around; evolutionarily speaking, we have the incentive to impregnate as many women as possible. Red Pillers acknowledge that and use it to justify their misogyny, and they think polyamory would work out well for them because they think they can all be “alphas” and get a lot of pussy, when really most of them wouldn’t be able to get girls to sleep with them if they do…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/22 05:18 AM
1

Uh… I mean of course women don’t mind attractive guys approaching them as much as ugly guys. That doesn’t mean any woman will just let any conventionally attractive man do whatever he wants with her, but ask yourself this: Would you put up with more shit from an attractive woman or an ugly woman? Women probably say they don’t want any guys approaching them because 1. they know that men misperceive how attractive we are and don’t want to encourage ugly guys to bother them; and 2. they don’t want …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 09:57 PM
21

Also, I think the guys who try so hard to be Alpha might be filtering out the good women in their lives by only dating bitches who feed into their narrative. Like, how likely are you to get a really nice, genuine girl by using exclusively Red Pill "Alpha-male" tactics? More likely you get some shallow chick who only values money and faux-macho energy--the things you utilize--and ends up confirming the prejudices you already had. These guys set themselves up for disaster.
/r/ExRedPill02/08/22 06:20 AM
1

I don't think it's a gendered thing, but even if it is... I'm sure there are plenty of women who this happens to and feel the same way as you do. You just need to find the right person, who won't do that to you. It can take a lot of pain to find that person, but I think it's always worth putting in the work to look.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:11 AM
0

Well, the rules for a long time was you could punch the asshole if they're a man, but not if they're a woman because you're probably stronger. Now you can't really punch anybody and get away with it, unfortunately...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:09 AM
1

I feel like guys do that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:28 AM
1

I don’t know if this story is fake, but I definitely don’t think that’s a common thing in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:27 AM
2

As a guy, a FWB would typically be someone I like enough to be friends with, and someone I’m attracted to enough to want to have sex, but not necessarily someone I like enough, or someone I’m attracted to enough, to want to be with long-term. It doesn’t have to be that, though! I’ve had a FWB who I was very good friends with, and who I actually thought was out of my league—but she wasn’t the type of person I saw myself with long-term. Either way, I don’t look at it as her not being up to my stan…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:15 AM
4

I mean intrusive thoughts are different. I think quite often, when you have intrusive thoughts it’s actually the opposite of what you’d actually want to do. But even if you want to smash his head in the urinal and you don’t, I mean… Yeah, you’re good.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 04:59 AM
1

I think this was meant to be a serious question, but did the tone feel super angry to anyone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 04:54 AM
6

Reading Mein Kampf is infinitely more morally acceptable than watching a single snuff film.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 11:11 PM
2

I have no problem with sex work morally, but it sounds demeaning.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 03:57 AM
2

I think high body count has a different implication for men vs for women. Getting sex isn’t an impressive feat for women, so a high body count indicates having lower standards; whereas we assume men will jump at the opportunity to have sex, so a high body count is praised among men and a low body count indicates you weren’t desirable enough. Simply because it’s not the norm, we don’t really consider the possibility that a woman has high standards but has simply found men who match them, or that …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 03:52 AM
1

I agree men are becoming less willing to settle for the role of provider, but at the same time women are becoming less willing to fill the role men traditionally want them to. What makes you think it’s women who are screwed?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/22 08:53 AM
1

I wouldn’t say the backlash is led by feminism. I see just as much, if not more, kink-shaming on the right than on the left. Really, any sexually repressed group will have problems with bondage, left or right wing. It may be certain radical feminist types who are really against it, but I think it’s really mostly the left-leaning liberal feminists who are spearheading the bondage community.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 12:30 PM
3

I’ve never seen open sexual harassment, but I’ve been told stories. An ex-girlfriend of mine told me that multiple men had tried to rape her while she was walking home in public, and she had to learn self-defense because she was attacked so often. I think because she was small, so they saw her as an easy target who wouldn’t put up much of a fight. It’s still hard for me to believe, but the amount of times it’s happened is so outlandish and she was such a sweet girl I can’t not believe her. It’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 06:59 PM
7

You never think it’s gonna happen to you, until it does. I’ve had it happen to me, literally for reasons that I hooked up with a girl and didn’t want it to go any further… I really believe women can be just as vile and wicked as men. They just don’t use violence as a tactic nearly as often.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 06:52 PM
4

So basically… If you’re ugly, you can compensate by being rich? Uh… yeah, no shit. That says nothing about “all women,” just that (no surprise) if you’re rich and ugly, your chances are better than if you’re poor and ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 02:57 AM
2

This exactly. Men fail to understand that a large part of what attracts women is confidence. The main reason muscles help with attracting women is that you’ll get more attention and encouragement from other men, which will make you feel more confident. If you don’t have other friends who work out and still don’t have any social skills, muscles mean shit to women. Personally, I think the best thing you can do to be more attractive to women is to talk to women and understand them. That doesn’t mea…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 06:10 PM
2

It’s definitely better for men to be overconfident than underconfident. It’s probably why men get paid more than women; confidence tells people that you’re competent. The lack of confidence that incels have is probably a large contributing factor to why they can’t get laid; regardless of your sexual marketplace value, if you don’t even think you’re fuckable, how are you gonna convince a woman you are?!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 07:08 PM
5

I mean yeah, that’s true, but what most guys on this sub (or at least in TRP communities) don’t get is that women want different things than men want; you’re looking at finding a mate through a male POV, which is “Find the easiest opportunity to find someone to have sex with,” but that’s not how women go about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 02:31 AM
1

You’re on the right track here, but with a caveat. Yes, more attractive men tend to have higher body counts, but correlation is not causation. Most women want a high value man with some sexual experience. But a high body count doesn’t suddenly make a man more attractive; I asked this question as well on here, and most of the women said it instead pointed to insecurity and irresponsibility if he’s had too many partners. For your sake, if you’ve had sex with a few women, I’d focus on bettering you…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 07:02 AM
-1

She probably won’t leave you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 04:26 PM
2

I think it depends what we mean by “slut shaming.” Actively targeting someone and bullying/harassing them for their body count is fucked up and shouldn’t be tolerated—but I don’t see that very often. More often it’s guys having a preference for women with a lower body count, which is fine; people have their preferences. There is the gray area in between of men calling certain women sluts/whores in private. It might not mean that they hate or disrespect women in general, but I’d just be careful a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 04:55 AM
1

That may be true, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t being immature by lashing out at someone for rejecting them. Both men and women should be held accountable for this. No one’s “hand is forced” to lash out at someone; if you can’t take rejection in stride, don’t ask someone out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 09:24 PM
5

Agreed. These guys be wildin sometimes. I’ve heard a lot of skinny guys, though, also only being able to get with fat girls. I’ve certainly had that experience on dating apps before. Anyway, not much to say about it really. Does kinda suck though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 03:13 PM
7

Where are you getting your evidence that women’s standards are just higher “overall?” I hear this a lot in TRP and Black Pill, but it’s always coming from men. If women’s standards are so extreme, wouldn’t more women end up alone? You could bring up the whole “10% of men get 90% of the women” thing, but—aside from the fact that the top 10% of men probably don’t want 90% of women—in a society that is still primarily monogamous and heterosexual, you would think you would see a lot more single peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 01:50 AM
2

First of all, let’s just point out that there is no proper metric for “objective physical attractiveness.” Yes, there are typical beauty standards, and yes, on average people agree with those beauty standards, but no two people have the exact same way of judging attractiveness—not to mention that men and women have different ideas of what’s attractive in both men and women. So I don’t know where you’re getting your “data” to know exactly how “objectively attractive” you are, but it’s probably fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 01:41 AM
1

Then the problem is you’re hanging out with simps.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 01:17 AM
1

I don’t think many Red Pill men actually think they’re oppressed by women; the reason there’s such hostility to the Social Justice movement is because there’s so much hostility within that movement against straight white men—also without any acknowledgment of the unique hardships men face—which, I think, is a very solid reason. Yes, men are taught to be individualistic; but have you noticed that even the ones who aren’t individualistic don’t tend to be on the side of the Social Justice movement?…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 06:24 AM
1

I mean yeah… I don’t think women are by and large saying they don’t desire the male gaze, they just complain about female beauty standards—just like men who complain about male beauty standards still desire the female gaze. I think most women also recognize that it’s only natural for men to desire younger women, but that doesn’t keep them from complaining. Similar to how men will complain about women being overly choosy, while still knowing it’s in their nature and something women can’t control.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 06:03 AM
1

When my parents got divorced, my dad blamed it on menopause for a while… I definitely think there was something more going on there, but if this is the case I wouldn’t be surprised if menopause is a factor…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 05:54 AM
4

It sounds like you’re talking to some mean women. I hear men joke about dick size just as much as women if not more. I think men overestimate how much big dicks are valued to women (just like big muscles) because we place value on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 04:30 AM
1

Dude, every girl I’ve ever asked has said it’s pretty much purely about technique and that they don’t care about penis size. Yes, a really small penis is gonna be less satisfying, but I guarantee you that this idea of all women being obsessed with huge cocks is a myth. You just gotta find someone who’s into the stuff you’re into, practice your technique, and ask her what she likes. If you’ve found the right girl and you’re using it right, size should almost never be an issue. If if it’s like 2 i…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 04:23 AM
11

Male here, but what why do you need to be a “pick-me” to settle for a low-value man? You’re looking at the responses and concluding women’s standards are so high they’d rather be alone than settle… That’s because the only option you’ve given them entails them “losing all self-respect.” Why can’t someone happily date someone of equal value? It’s like saying any man who marries a woman who isn’t a smoking hot virgin is a “blue-pilled beta cuck.”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/22 03:41 AM
0

I just looked it up, and while I think it’s true that women are more selective, I feel like this gets used in Red Pill circles by men who don’t understand women’s motives. If you’re a caveman looking for a woman to fuck, you’ll pretty much fuck the first attractive cavewoman you find, whereas if you’re a cavewoman, you have to find someone who will stick around and help you take care of the baby, since you’re carrying most of the reproductive burden. So not only will you want someone who will st…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 01:05 AM
3

But this is another reason why the reproductive decisions we’re making right now (that we developed through evolution) are not good; we evolved for a pre-industrial, pre-agricultural world in which infection would wipe out a good portion of us, and therefore we want to reproduce as much as possible; it was in this world that our old ways—however polygamous or monogamous they were—worked best. My point is just that it’s a fallacy to think that just because we evolved to have certain standards tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 12:56 AM
7

I agree with you that the things men and women are complaining about in the modern day look a lot like the issues men and women faced before the advent of monogamy, since liberal countries are now living in a somewhat post-monogamous world; women are getting strung along by noncommittal men, and a certain portion of men are finding it near impossible to find a mate. But I think the incorrect assumption you’re making is that we’re currently selecting with good evolutionary standards. Our standard…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 12:43 AM
0

I don’t think social media is the reason women are more picky, I think it’s biology. Maybe the internet has contributed to it, since people are now better able to compare their mates/lives to those of others, but the same rings true for men’s standards after being exposed to pornography. If women are more picky than men, that’s because their standards are naturally higher, to find the best quality mate.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 12:33 AM
1

I see! I feel a similar way with women; obviously I don’t mind when women have some experience in relationships, but I find it unattractive when they’ve had a lot of hookups because I guess it implies a casual outlook towards sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 01:35 AM
2

So you would say men specifically with a high body count are attractive? Does this come partly from idealized gender roles (manly men get a lot of women, women stay chaste), or simply because an experienced man will know how to please you? Also (if you don’t mind me asking, and no judgment), would you consider yourself fairly promiscuous/experienced, or do you specifically look for a man who has a higher body count than you?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 01:26 AM
2

So what I’m getting is that the big turn-off isn’t body count specifically, so much as trying too hard? If a man has a really high body count, it can seem artificial, like all he’s doing is trying to get laid in order to prove his own masculinity. I guess that’s the real red flag?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/22 01:20 AM
1

I don’t mean to suggest that actual lesbians don’t exist, nor that there aren’t male bisexuals, I’m only pointing out a disparity. Many of the women I knew who claimed to be lesbian changed their mind after meeting a man they liked. I’m of course not saying men should go out and try to “turn” lesbians… Sounds like a terribly patronizing idea, and an easy way for a man to waste his time. I’m just saying I’ve seen it done.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 06:39 PM
1

Might be true, but does this mean men are just less likely to be drawn to “victim mentality?” Otherwise, wouldn’t men be more likely to do this than women, since they don’t already have the gender oppression card? My inkling is that there’s something deeper going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 05:41 PM
1

I don’t mean to suggest there aren’t, and I hope my comment wasn’t too offensive! I simply mean that, because men are more inclined toward promiscuity, it would be likely (and I’m sure statistics back this up) that there would be more promiscuity in the (male) gay community.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 05:23 PM
2

This is the most simple and straightforward answer, but you’re probably right. Makes sense that the reason would be twofold, both social and biological.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 05:18 PM
1

Might not be a good long-term investment though, since men are less committal and fucking men might pigeonhole you into fucking men… I’ve heard of monogamous gays complaining about the level of promiscuity in the gay community. I wonder if there’s any evidence that gay (or primarily gay) men are more likely to end up alone in old age due to less commitment?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 05:15 PM
1

I don’t mean about dating a man, I mean about fucking a man. Very easy to get in a man’s pants.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 04:59 PM
4

Well certainly that has to do with it, but do you think there’s just more queer women because women are more open/sympathetic to it than men? That seems insufficient to me, since about 30% of the women I meet nowadays are bisexual!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 06:44 AM
0

This makes sense with men being more competitive than women; we know that the only way for us to secure sexual mates is to be the best and the strongest. But what then of the stereotype of women being extremely competitive/vindictive towards other women, when you would think in a harem-oriented species men would be the competitive ones? Maybe women are just competitive in a different way—perhaps more passive-aggressive (vying for the top of an established social structure) while men are more com…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 06:41 AM
1

I do every so often, but I really need to do it more, since I’m realizing lately how few female friends I have. Most of the women I talk to, I’m not intentionally trying to get with, but I’m usually drawn to them because I find them attractive in one way or another. Sometimes I’m drawn to something as platonic as a personality trait. There’s a girl at work who I talk to even though I don’t think she’s attractive at all, because she seems really sweet and I find something cute about her. She does…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 06:15 AM
2

I think all these qualities are things to be desired in men… but if the women you’re dating keep complaining and bringing up your shortcomings, you might wanna start dating other women 😳
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 05:58 AM
1

I agree with this assessment with the whole concept of a “high-value” partner. Obviously there is a such thing as people/traits that are in higher demand than others—denying that is blissfully ignoring the truth—but on the other hand, not enough people acknowledge that it’s a low-resolution model; standards and interests are still different for everybody, and just because someone is “low value” by societal standards does not mean they are of low value to everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/22 05:56 AM
1

I think of TRP as a catch-all term for these ideologies, but probably the most popular part of the Manosphere, which is primarily antifeminist (or at least against the notion that women are unilaterally oppressed by men) and focuses on men’s issues in dating. I think this primarily differs from MRAs because MRAs are more focused on rights and privileges whereas TRP is more dating-centric. The three following are different approaches to the dilemma set forth by TRP: that you as a man are not prom…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/22 10:15 PM
2

I think the consequences of both women’s lib and TRP will contribute to a less monogamous culture, and if you agree with TRP ideology, that mostly means it’ll be a lot harder for ‘beta males’ to get women. It’s still kinda bad for everyone, though. In a more promiscuous society, there will be a lot more women who get used for their bodies and discarded, which in my book is the female equivalent. I think most women at least want a committed relationship—they’re not all just ‘cock-hungry whores’ l…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 11:49 PM
1

If you make your intentions clear beforehand, that’s not even being an asshole, you’re just more likely to get turned down, as it should be. Have you had a one night stand and the cops came after you? 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 05:12 PM
1

Okay, I’ll try to be more civil with my point. I see a lot of hating on the opposite sex from Black Pill, Red Pill, and radical feminist circles. I think all of these people are blinded by a lack of perspective and compassion for the opposite sex, and that adopting this bitter mindset that “men are all oppressed and women are all worthless sluts” or “women are all oppressed and men are worthless scumbags” is counterintuitive because what a lot of these people really want is love, and they’re bit…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 05:09 PM
2

Maybe I misunderstood the point. I guess you’re trying to make the point that calling a man “husband material” should be considered as rude as calling a woman “hookup material.” That kind of makes sense. I interpreted it as you saying essentially, “It’s unfair for a woman to not sleep with me when she likes me while she would sleep with men she doesn’t like.” And my response was essentially, “Life’s unfair, buddy. Men pull similar shit.”
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 05:01 PM
1

That’s right, who said it was? You can be an asshole if you really want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 06:56 AM
0

Okay, but like… What are you gonna do about it? I hear lots of jabbering about how men are oppressed or women are oppressed, and oh, woe is me… It doesn’t justify hating the opposite sex. Men have a lot of reasons to hate women; women have a lot of reasons to hate men. But I definitely don’t want to date a self-pitying woman who hates men, and I’m pretty sure women don’t really want to date a self-pitying man who hates women. People just need to man tf up and realize that whining about society i…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 06:48 AM
1

If this happens to you a lot, I think it isn’t as much a matter of women resorting to attacking you instead of making an argument; they’re making the argument that you’re probably heavily biased because you’re bitter that you can’t get laid because you have a shitty personality. You can make as many philosophical arguments as you want, but you’re not gonna argue a woman into dating you, because women unfortunately just don’t want to date angry, bitter nerds who hate women… Wonder why.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 06:41 AM
1

Some of that sounded kind of misogynistic but I think I agree for the most part?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 06:31 AM
3

Ngl, I definitely cringed when I saw guys making a list like this and I cringed just as much when I saw the female version. I think it’s kind of cringy whenever people try to make comparisons about what either sex “gets out of” the other. Everyone’s biased towards thinking their sex has it harder; it’s childish and overgeneralizes; and kind of makes a false equivalency. Men and women don’t offer equivalent “goods” because men and women (not to mention every individual) want and offer different t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 06:23 AM
74

I think this way of thinking about sex is exactly the problem with red pill men; the “social contract” of sex and gender roles is over-analyzed to the point of being cold and void of love. No, of course you don’t technically “owe” anyone anything after sex. It’s really not about what you owe people, it’s about being genuine with someone or being an asshole. This goes for men and women: if you say you’re going to do something (such as commit to a relationship) and then escape through some loophol…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 07:45 PM
3

Very true! I hear a lot of talk about hypocrisy or this being one-sided, but I don’t see that at all. Most people (men and women alike) are gonna be more promiscuous and less committed if they can still reap the benefits of a committed relationship in the long run. Men and women both do this by fucking certain partners short-term and committing more time/emotional effort to others.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 06:53 PM
37

I agree, I don’t think it should be more acceptable for women to say that to men than vice versa. They’re both kind of fucked up things to do and even more fucked up things to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 06:07 PM
7

You’ve gotta realize that, as fucked up as it is, everyone’s self-interested when they’re single; they’re trying, on some level, to gain power over their date. The goal of the game is to find as highest-value of a partner (whatever that means to you) as you can. For men, this typically means a chaste woman (who’s attractive) and for women this typically means a committed man (who’s attractive and can provide). When you’re single and don’t know them, they’re all basically numbers to you. This rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 06:05 PM
3

In my experience, women typically want boyfriends, but sex is a good fallback. Think about it from a woman’s perspective. If you have sex with a man on the first date, he might not take you as seriously and just think you’re a slut/just trying to hook up. So, if you really like a guy, you might hold out to give him the idea that you’re less promiscuous than you are, which makes him more likely to date you. It’s weird, since you would think she would be more lenient with someone who’s special to …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 05:27 PM
1

I’m confused about the reasoning here… Speaking from a self-interested perspective, how does having casual sex with someone while I’m looking for a relationship harm me? As a nerd, I look at casual sex with an attractive woman as a rare commodity. As a guy, I see it as an inherent good. Just because I’m interested in something more, does that mean I don’t want casual sex in the meantime? Of course not, I’m not gonna give that up unless I have a reason to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 04:30 AM
1

Well yeah, of course not. I’m assuming a good deal of her interest in me is that I wasn’t interested in her. You want what you can’t have.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 06:24 PM
1

I turn 21 in March. I plan to write for television, which I could understand as a non-LTR indicator, since it’s not exactly a stable career.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:50 PM
1

This is extremely helpful, thanks. I don't consider myself an asshole, but hearing that I might give off that vibe gives me a good clue why I don't find success with the girls I'm interested in. Maybe I need to work on how I present myself. I'm more interested in relationships than hookups, but, not having found a lot of success in dating, a lot of the time I just try the hookup approach because it's less commitment and I don't have to find and entice somebody I actually really like. Though I ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 05:36 PM
1

I don't think there's anything wrong with being vulnerable to test the other person, regardless of sex; but you do have to accept when the other person is taken aback and loses interest. I've had girls tell me stuff that made me lose some interest in them and vice versa. If she doesn't accept your shit, either you dodged a bullet, or maybe you need to work on yourself more.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 04:37 PM
6

I'm a little skeptical of this argument. I hear it said a lot from pseudo-red-pill circles that we're failing men and that they're falling behind, but I have to wonder if this just comes from the fear that women are surpassing us. Is it actually true that current-day men are less likely to go to college than previous generations, and how long of a timespan are we talking about? From what I've heard, college enrollment by both sexes has been pretty consistently increasing. Sure, women's is probab…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 10:06 PM
3

I'm not an expert, but it might be that women are more broadly educated than men but less wealthy on average--whether it's because of undervaluation or purely personal career choices. That doesn't mean that there's any shortage of men poorer than women, but that the wealthiest individuals tend to be men. In that case, it might be that "high-value" men (the wealthiest few) are in short supply and high demand while "low-value," typically uneducated, men end up getting ignored because they for the …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/22 09:57 PM
14

Doesn’t matter if it’s what blackpillers say if it’s true. I think the distinction is that blackpillers see women as all the same, all equally shallow. That’s different than making reasonable generalizations.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 05:48 AM
2

I’ve had a similar theory for a while, but I don’t know that I would put it that way. Since traditional intelligence seems to vary more in men than in women, this may contribute to a very pronounced sexual hierarchy that’s exclusive to men in the state of nature. The most competent man takes multiple wives, while the least ends up with no wife, since the women are better off sharing a husband than having a husband who is less competent than them. This is why polygamy is almost always patriarchal…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 01:32 AM
2

I don’t send any of my friends money, I think that’s inappropriate in most cases. If you don’t get anything out of a relationship, why do you have that relationship? Just to have a female friend? Yeah right—I’d say these guys are hoping to be a little more than friends. If she’s leading them on, maybe that’s on her, but it’s ultimately their job to break it off if the friendship isn’t reciprocal.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 01:51 AM
1

I don’t have that much experience, but I usually expect to pay for the date as a man. It’s really not about expecting sex from her afterward, as much as giving the subconscious “I am willing to provide for you” signal, which I think may make sex more likely. Unless it’s a girl I really like, I won’t take her out to an expensive place (I’m a college kid—I’m not made of money!), so buying a girl a cheap lunch or a cup of coffee really isn’t a big deal. Then there are some girls who insist on payin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 02:54 AM
28

The way I see it, you just look for someone who won’t cheat. If you’re a good person and you’re not a fool, you’ll look for someone with similar values who won’t cheat on you. It’s probably mostly very attractive people, men or women, who cheat, because they have the most ability to. Women who cheated a lot in their 20s are probably gonna marry men who will cheat on them in their 40s. If you’re a good person and you have good judgment of character, then you put loyalty before attractiveness and …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 02:07 AM
2

I think part of the problem is that a lot of the narrative nowadays (which I think is driven more by women/progressives now than in the past) is that there’s someone for everybody and you just have to be yourself, while they don’t pay attention to the vastly different issues facing men and women in dating. Women have to be careful to not get used by men, while men have to try very hard to even get noticed by women. The narrative has shifted away from this gendered view of dating, which is largel…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 02:54 PM
3

This is not me excusing homophobia or shaming promiscuity, but surmising why it exists. I think people tend to have the impulse to impose our own values and lifestyles on others, even when it harms no one. Logically, evangelical Christians want to spread the word of god so that not do many people go to hell; I think often, it comes from a place of compassion more than hatred. From a secular perspective, if you’re conservative and believe in sexual discipline for your own benefit, if you’re compa…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/20 08:11 PM
11

Maybe because it’s teaching guys who previously had no common sense and no charisma with women, to have a little common sense and at least know how to flirt with a woman. Plus all the other toxic stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/20 03:06 PM
1

I think this is a good point, and I think it’s dumb how people make “the red pill” and “the black pill” this whole big thing when it’s just common sense. I’m not red pill or black pill but I am a man and I’m pretty familiar with these ideologies. I think that why the terms “black pill” and “red pill”—which suggest this is some secret essential knowledge about the world—have come into existence is not because it’s surprising, but because feminism/the media seems to only really focus on unrealisti…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/20 10:22 PM
2

This is a very interesting perspective, since I tend to see incel complaints coming predominantly from straight white men, who oppose feminism and the recent shift in favor towards ethnic and sexual minorities. You were mentioning the recent populist resurgence in the U.S.A. has come from people (especially men) at the bottom of the hierarchy (both sexual and material) being fed up with getting nothing but scraps, and preferring fascism or populism. This feels odd to me, because when I think of …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/18 07:49 PM
1

How did we get on bullying, though? The original post didn't say anything about bullying, just about objectification. I also see your argument about objectification being inherently physical, but I think the term can be a little more broad than you've interpreted it. While generally, women are reduced to the value of their body and nothing more, the same could be said that men are reduced to the value of their wallet, or even their body when it comes to strength, fitness, etc. To me, it doesn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/18 06:31 PM
1

It's true that polyamory of course works much better for women, especially slutty (not meant to be derogatory) ones. This, I believe, however, is no reason to be hostile; it's a fact to accept. You can disapprove of polyamory on a personal level for the reasons that it would disrupt your relationship with a woman, but love/sex is achieved meritocratically. Women who are attractive enough to take advantage of that fully have the right to. It's no one's place to tell them they can't. I am afraid t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 01:47 AM
1

I think it's kinda bullshit, but I'm not one to judge. I've only known one person who was polyamorous (he was at my school) and though he was kinda known as a creepy guy, he got away with polyamory, and that's at a VERY liberal, feminazi-type school. I'd heard him accused of being a dick, but not a misogynist.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 01:42 AM
1

Cis Male, 17. I don't have many female friends. Some of my close friends from elementary school (who I still hang out with sometimes) are girls, though one of them was sort of a "tomboy" and the other is now agender. In high school, I fell into a nerdy clique that doesn't have much interaction at all with girls. I think that tends to happen when puberty hits--a self-segregation of the sexes. I have to say I do not understand girls as a whole all too well on a personal level (particularly the emo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 01:33 AM
1

I won't disagree with this, I just think it's important to remain clear that we're making generalizations about the sexes here, and there's always variability in individuals. Some women care less about status, some men care more.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 01:13 AM
2

I don't think there's anything wrong with that being the case. It's still based on an individual level so it's not sexist no matter how you look at it. I don't think there's anything wrong with men paying for dates or being breadwinners, or women being stay-at-home moms, if that tends to be their social role. What's important is that it's not the gender roles are not a necessity of social expectation. As long as there's ample freedom to differ from the social trend, the expectations are still li…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 01:06 AM
2

I think you're totally right, a guy should at least offer to pay if he asked the girl out--especially with language like "I'd like to take you out," it's pretty much implied he's paying. I don't think it's a feminist issue at all: I think whoever asks the other out should offer to pay for both, whether it's a guy or a girl. If more often guys ask girls out, they should be the ones paying (or at least offering to pay) for dates. After the first date, I think it should be separate checks or split …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/18 12:58 AM
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