TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Smoke-Porterhouse Archive

View 3 posts and 40 comments by Smoke-Porterhouse on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Thank you very much - this article is exactly what I was looking for. I really appreciate it!
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 06:38 PM
5

I am not sure I understand. I don't make the payments personally each month — they are automatically drafted from my wages.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 05:48 PM
1

Not child tax credit - talking about claiming a deduction for them as a dependent.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 08:59 PM
0

Sure does... one other thing to consider when you get there... parents can claim children until they are 26 if they are living at home and/or going to school... our decree seems to only cover through 18 years old. So there is some gray area that will likely be fought over unless it's outlined in the decree.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 07:50 PM
2

The deduction is based on custodial expense. Child support was ostensibly computed separately based off income. Since you are 50/50 custodial, equality would dictate you both get the deduction, but unfortunately the government doesn't do halvsies for the year - hence the alternating years.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 06:08 PM
1

I am 💯 there with you. Separated since '18, divorced since '20. Got a couple crushes but concentrating on my kids right now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 08:41 PM
3

I feel this. I help mine with some things (not household related, as the fellow above - more like work stuff) and I do it purely because I know it ultimately 1) makes her life a little more stable, and my kiddo is with her 50% of the time, and 2) it's good behavior to model for the kiddo: non-assholery but with clear boundaries. But yeah, once the kiddo is 18... all "extra" help and kindness will disappear.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 06:57 PM
1

Everybody give him a break. He obviously got introduced to his new reality recently. I understand you reacting this way, OP. Just stay strong, take care of yourself, and please don't stop thinking beyond just this one concept and allow your mind to grow. One day you may look back on this idea differently.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 06:50 PM
5

From a 4/2 uninsulated "charmingly old" money pit that probably contributed at least partially to the demise of the marriage to a quiet, insulated 3/2 brick home in a family neighborhood in a great location that I really love.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 06:00 PM
1

I'm in a similar situation, and I've also thought about it a lot. I think the right answer is not to tell them now, based on a lot on a lot of inputs.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 09:40 PM
1

Divorce agreement doesn't have any language about moving out of state? Just curious because it's clear as a bell in mine. It does sound like you are good though... in terms of the precedent that has been set.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 05:10 PM
2

Gonna do some huntin' and lootin' with Arthur Morgan.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 10:46 PM
3

Agree with above posts... know the hill you are willing to die on. Similarly, as the day wears on... don't let anything go just because you want it to be over. I have a tiny bit of regret over not thinking through some tax liability stuff more thoroughly just because I wanted to get out of there. Ideally stuff like that is all thought out ahead of time.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 01:54 AM
2

That's WarGames, my man. But yes.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 06:24 PM
2

Ooof. I feel for you and can relate on a lot of levels, but my hunch is yeah, you already know not to do anything, but you need some commiseration and support. Stay on the path, my man. Keep loving yourself and re-investing in that mental health, self-worth, and identity. There have been guys who prematurely stopped their own growth and got back on the carousel for another long, sometimes worse ride. Don't be that guy. But yeah! I hear you! Crushing on one of those myself. Let's not do it togeth…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 10:06 PM
2

It's called clickbait.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 01:57 AM
2

Good prompt. I think mine is somewhere in my closet... this thread has re-ignited me wondering if I can get some $$$ out of it. It's platinum.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 12:19 AM
2

Hey friend - I swear, some of what you wrote I had to do a double-take to make sure I am not high or something because of the uncanny similarities. Thanks to whoever mentioned BPD... I always assumed extreme narcissism but that is a real eye-opener! Def gonna check that out. Anyway, I'm early 50s, 2nd wife was same hell as this, but I'm here to tell you it truly will get better and you'll get on the other side of it. Don't know if I will date again, but not because I'm damaged. I'm just too damn…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 11:38 PM
2

No way to find out his contact info via social media or anything? Other ideas I have heard of: writing a letter and getting it to him getting her attention with a letter to your lawyer and copying her I would also say that an in-person thing in front of your kids absolutely does not have to get ugly. You 100% control that, regardless of his behavior. You could always take the high road. And you would be modeling the best way to behave in front of your kids. Just a thought.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 02:50 AM
8

I'm coming up on 5 years in about week since the idea of a divorce materialized in my second marriage. I've been through all the emotional roiling etc. The actual divorce happened about 2 years ago. Since then... man. So happy. I have been on an absolute dual quest to really find and reconnect with my true self, as well as be the best dad that I can. Both of these things are going quite well. I haven't dated once. I've had a few crushes here and there, but I haven't acted on anything. I truly do…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 02:45 AM
4

Almost identical situation here. I get that it's her life, privacy, etc etc... and I would never try to vet her love life, but as a poster above mentioned, once this person is spending the night in the same house as my children, to me it is 100% reasonable (and should be required) that i know who they are. My ex's bf was even driving my child to school and she had never introduced them to me or even acknowledged them as existing. The lack of care, thought, courage, responsibility in this move is…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 03:44 PM
3

Thanks very much for all of your replies. A couple clarifications: CS is done through state AG office and is auto-withdrawal and can't be changed by me. we have 50/50 joint decision/physical custody (week on, week off) I realize it was dumb to not make her start paying her half earlier. My #1 priority was taking care of the kiddo, and I really did not think ex would be such a lowlife to not pay. I've learned my lesson on making any assumptions. She never pays for anything ahead of time where I h…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 06:01 AM
1

Ahhh yes, man. I haven't gone through it quite to the degree you have, but yes, bro. I feel you. You're only being relied upon because there is not someone else at the moment. Assertively, kindly, and lovingly (for yourself) draw and keep that boundary with strength and power.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 05:50 PM
8

Make good notes of everything. You're legally entitled to at least half the savings account. Showing that she emptied it without your knowledge in an attempt to take it all will be a good thing to have duly noted. If the dogs were acquired in the marriage, you all will have to negotiate them like any other possession. If either was yours before the marriage, she has your property.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 08:38 PM
1

Hell. no. Period. It's an insulting request to make. She bummed about what's happened to interest rates? Accepting the risk of fluctuating financial markets is part and parcel of making the decision to divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 07:51 PM
4

Wow - lots of different opinions in here. I will add mine. First, the context: I've been married and divorced twice. I had a stepchild in my first marriage who I was close to. In my second marriage, she had a young child coming into the marriage and then we had a child together. I am very close to both children. First marriage was very brief - 2 years barely. Second marriage was 15 years. My parents were married for almost 50 years — they both had been in previous marriages. I am incredibly happ…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 03:36 PM
4

If it's your account and she's not on it, well yeah. Possibly illegal, but definitely a crossed boundary. She may be entitled to a portion of the account even if her name is not on it or the envelope but it's YOUR MAIL.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/22 10:01 PM
2

Thank god for sensible judges.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/22 09:26 PM
1

Gotta agree with this: know what you want ahead of time. Also, one thing that seems to slip through a lot of thought processes... consider current year tax implications -- ie think about how that liability is going to be divided (assuming there is some) and make sure it's equitable. I signed off on agreeing to split our final joint year of filing only to find out she has done her withholdings wrong and we owed a bunch and there was nothing I could do because I had agreed to it at mediation. Good…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/22 12:06 AM
1

Holy sh!t!
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 11:55 PM
1

Ah! Yes... so this Father's Day is still really one about you... is your dad still in your life? Aside from that part of it, Father's Day at this stage with your daughter is 100% about taking care of you, so that you can be the best possible dad for her. 2 year olds require a good bit of attention and care as I recall, and your plan sounds good... what else does she like to do? I'd say figuring out how you all could best have fun is the ticket!
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 11:36 PM
1

How old is your daughter? Mine is 15 and we are prob gonna catch a movie. 👍🏼
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 10:56 PM
6

This is really good advice. I have been in this situation, and it sucks because you want to reply. Please do not. It took a professional telling me I would be tormented "for the rest of my days" if I didn't stop trying to engage. The upside is that engagement is exactly what fuels this sh!t on her side, and the ultimate way to most effectively respond is complete absence of response, or indeed, concern, as evidenced by utter silence: pure, genuine, blissful indifference. You can get there.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 10:04 PM
2

Man... if I can find mine, I'm totally going to do that volcano thing. Great idea!
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 11:56 PM
2

Can I just say: FCK any woman — ok, strike that — any PARENT that does this bullshit to their kids. Emotional support, poisoning, whatever: it's all symptomatic of a fcking narcissistic imperative that puts their own GD ego and desires above ALL ELSE, especially their poor children. How someone can be so f*cked up is hard for me to understand, but I guess at this point we seem to know it comes from their childhood: neglect, abuse, etc. That's no excuse. And the only thing keeping this sick cycle…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 04:50 AM
17

I would not name the child — if something happens to you, the child would likely fall under the care of your ex wife and thus the door to her manipulating that money is open. I'd establish a trust with an executor you can count on to make sure the funds go to your child. Trusts cost money of course, so in the meantime, as a short-term solution, make the beneficiary a friend you trust and have a written agreement with them what is to happen to the funds in case of your death.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 04:26 PM
4

Man! I think about this a lot sometimes, because I wonder if there is something wrong with me... I have been divorced for about a year and a half and I am unbelievably happy being by myself. I focus on my child, and I have a lot of things on my mind when she is not (building a side business, reading, writing, exercise, maybe getting a PhD...) and I just cannot imagine how a relationship could fit into that, nor do I have any desire for one to. She would have to truly be someone really special, a…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 04:44 AM
3

That's a great point. We do have a clause sort of like that in the decree. I'm going to research that. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/22 05:07 PM
6

Thanks for the replies. They've been together for a while. Safety of my daughter is #1 priority and I absolutely trust her judgement and ability to take care of herself and alert me if anything is even the slightest bit out of line. She knows them at this point, and it never has been — she just doesn't want to be there if her mom is not there. (You can't make people "like" other people.) She also doesn't want to be left alone at her mom's house if they are not there. We will address that if it c…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/22 05:00 PM
2

Not much to add except to trust yourself. I have been there and I recall that it was very hard to remember sometimes that I was not the one with the problems. I was told that I was the narcissist and I actually started to believe it until friends helped me finally break the addiction. Also, keep the records... EVERYTHING.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 09:57 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter