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SomeoneInQld Archive

View 0 posts and 98 comments by SomeoneInQld on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Thanks - I think we only have a few months to go and then I can start my new life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 01:13 AM
2

Its not a lot of fun .. is it :(
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 10:38 PM
2

just over 2.5 years and still going
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 07:07 AM
6

Pay attention to your new partner. Don't be too busy with work. Say the things we should have said in the marriage. You look pretty today, thank you for your help. Be nice, be there and pay attention when you are there. I am in a similar situation as you a new long distance relationship after a divorce (still ongoing). I get busy sometimes and she will message me. I make sure to stop and chat with her if I can pause work at that time. Give her the attention and care that our partners deserve. Yo…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 12:26 AM
2

No.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 04:43 AM
5

I agree stay out of it. No good can come from this for you only grief.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 04:02 PM
11

Block them and move on With your life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/26 02:46 AM
3

Good news. Hope things work out for you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 02:46 PM
6

Sounds like she had a visitor.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/25 04:39 AM
2

It will be hard, but you will feel better for it. Good luck. We are here to help you move forward with a better life.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 05:06 AM
5

Thanks. It has been a rough journey. But I went travelling for the last 9 months and still am. I went from office job in city and now I am on a cattle station in the middle of the Northern Territory experiencing different things in life. I have found that has helped me in many ways. I think I am 99% over her now, but I do think of her body and having sex with her sometimes, but try not to think about it too much. I also then remember the shit I used to put up with as well.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 05:02 AM
6

We had sex the week before she left. We had sex during the break up. I still find her attractive. But I am over her bullshit and don't want to be with her anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 04:56 AM
3

It's not smearing your name, once it becomes obvious that she isn't pregnant. Your family will stop listening to her lies. Let her tell her lies and move on with your life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 05:11 AM
6

The fact that she didn't even tell me she was going and then threw out all my stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:45 AM
3

I am twelve and a half months post separation. It does get easier with time, but I think there will always be a small bit of pain.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 02:45 AM
2

No I don't have kids. It will be hard. How I thought about it was I had to cross a river of crap, to get to the other side which was a beautiful beach. I can only keep heading in the right direction and one day I will get to the beach. Me personally I am starting to get to the shallow water on the other side and the beach is getting close. Just over 12 months separated after 29 years together.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 04:28 PM
4

Divorce will make 3 worse as she will now not have you there. But I don't think that is enough of a reason to stay. I think YES these are valid reasons to leave her, sooner the better. Rip the band-aid off.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 01:49 PM
3

I moved 1600 km away from my ex when we separated it was the best decision I ever did. Move, change careers, starts a new better life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 12:21 PM
2

Go and make your own friends. I was the opposite all our friends were my friends so I have chosen not to communicate with a few that she was closer with so that she has some friends to talk our divorce over with. It's up to you to build your own friend and support network.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 08:44 AM
1

How old is your son ?
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 10:29 PM
3

Mine destroyed all my stuff that I didn't leave with. I got my clothes and computers basically. Dealing with it now through property settlement. Police will probably end up being involved.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 03:26 PM
2

I have three aims for positives to come out of my divorce A) - Make sure my mates know how hard divorce is emotionally and financially so that they can maybe stop things before they get to far, if someone had of told me - I think I could have stopped our divorce. B) Always have a spare room when I get settled somewhere again so that any mate who is going through a divorce has a safe clean place to crash in straight away (a mate of mine had a room for me ) C) Make it illegal for a divorce lawyer …
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 10:27 PM
2

There should also be a law that divorce lawyers can not handle the sale of a community property with out both parties signed consent. (Her name was only on the deed, but I paid for everything for the last 30 years - so I didnt get a say in who managed the sale, even though my lawyer told them that it was a conflict of interest - I will be putting in a a complaint once the divorce is over).
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 09:54 PM
2

The current delay has only been a few weeks, and I think its her smart ass lawyer trying to make a point - as I have a much more complicated discovery than her as I had companies etc to gather all the paperwork of. To me her smart ass lawyer just keeps making mistakes -so I believe in the don't stop your enemy when they are making mistakes - and will just let things flow (Note: I do not see my wife as the enemy - its just a saying)
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 09:47 PM
1

What does your lawyer say ? If its been this long as she hasn't moved friendly - then get agressive - which is what lawyers are for.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 09:45 PM
2

There are things that my lawyer can do to push it along - but it starts to get expensive - and I am busy doing other things up in North QLD - so there is no major rush on my part - so I will just let it play out. I am in Australia so probably have totally different laws to where you are.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 09:37 PM
2

My STBXW is also dragging her feet - so I moved to another part of the state and am moving on with my life. And the irony is that she is the one that started it and keen to get it finished so she can move to a better location, but she has never understood processes or legal proceedings.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 09:16 PM
2

Only time will be able to tell if its a rebound or not - even with a rebound people are still really into them. It sounds like you had a hard divorce - I am still going through a hard divorce - and I know that I do not trust my emotions at the moment as they are all confused and all over the place. I would enjoy what you have with her - don't put a label on it - see where it goes and don't rush things. I hope to see you back in here in 3 or 4 years saying it is real - we are getting married and …
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 11:41 PM
13

I wouldnt rush into anything - this is still the honeymoon phase. This may be a rebound relationship. I would be with this person for atleast 3 or 4 years before thinking of marriage again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 11:33 PM
3

Only interact with her through lawyers / SMS or email. So that there is never a he said / she said. Never go alone to the house always have a witness or two and film it. If you see her on the street never go near her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 12:43 AM
3

In Australia at least what your wife did could be called coercion and is illegal. Take note of exactly what and when she said it and speak to your lawyer about it. Basically you are being bullied by her. Don't let her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 02:38 PM
6

That isn't a loving action that she did - in fact it is the exact opposite. If that is her attitude I would leave if I was you. Things can only get worse from here on in, Conselling is not meant to be used as a justification. The worst thing my wife did to me - was destroy all my items that I left at our marital home, so I now have clothes and computers after a 30 year relationship, I can never forgive her for that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 04:21 AM
9

I moved out of the family home - as I wouldnt have been surprised if my wife did the same thing and I didnt want to have to get her arrested (there was still incidents where I needed to involve the police before I left). But we are goign through another thing now where I may have to press charges on her (Theft). I also don't understand why they do things like this, one of the large reasons that we separted was that she would always interupt my work - as she was my wife and could talk to me whene…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 05:30 AM
4

Yes, but there is a difference between improvement and alteration.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 12:17 PM
2

Not sure if correct but that is what it sounds like to me. Change you into the person she wants you to be.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 12:12 PM
6

Just a guess. She thought she could lure you away from video games. Now she realises that she has lost and that you will still play video games.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 11:47 AM
2

Think of what is best for your children. Now and in the future. Eat humble pie and say mum and dad thought it was best.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 03:17 PM
2

Then help her through the situation. It's the first 2 sentences in the last paragraph that concern me. Do you have 50/50 custody ? Can you get higher level custody - does the daughter want to live with you more. How old is your daughter ? At what age where you are does the child get a choice in deciding which parent to live with ?
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 12:01 PM
5

You should care. Alot. Imagine how hard this is on your daughter. Who cares if the clothes cost you money and your daughter doesn't wear them where YOU want her to. Your job is to make your daughter happy and safe. Let her wear whatever clothes she wants, to where ever she wants (as long as they are appropriate).
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 11:51 AM
2

as I said the whole thing is complicated. I will do an autobiograhy one day - I have had a very bizarre but interesting life :)
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 10:24 AM
2

LOL - good point - they can be cell mates :)
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 10:22 AM
0

come back and update us - if she does get prison. My wife has done a criminal thing during our divorce - not quite as bad as yours but close - mine is a bit more complicated and not so black and white. My lawyer has said that we couldn't get her charged - but we can use it as a negotiating point - the irony is that we will probably end up as a couple still after the divorce - just have seperate finances. - as I said its a complicated divorce
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 09:34 AM
4

It would be ironic if she ended up in prison :)
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 07:16 AM
3

Check for devices / apps that are logged in through that account. I think there is a button you can press somewhere to force everything to reauthenticate.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 03:05 AM
6

Step 1 in divorce is change banks. So there is a very clear before and after bank statements. At a bare minimum create a new account and use that post divorce if you can't close down your other account. Can you limit the subpoena to the dates prior to separation/ divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 02:12 AM
5

Actually, I don't even have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 01:20 AM
12

Offer to them for you to have him for more custody through email to the shared account. That way the AP will see it and may put pressure on your wife to see your son less, which means you see him more. Try to turn every bad scenario into a positive one.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 01:02 AM
6

I am still mid divorce but once it's over I am moving as far away as I can. My current plan is to.move 1,200 km away, and basically start again.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 12:41 AM
5

Yes had a shit year as well. Atleast there is next year.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 04:36 AM
2

I wouldn't have a problem with it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 10:06 PM
11

You have kids. I think you owe it to them to try with their mother again. BUT. make it that she can not drink if that is her trigger for cheating. You need some way for her to stop cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:58 PM
2

Can you reach out to her family or friends and ask them to check in on her ?
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 02:01 PM
1

Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 10:30 PM
2

It took about 12 months. I did a calorie counting program and a LOT of walking. So much so that I entered a marathon and completed it (walking). Weekdays 4 to 5 hours some days. I was lucky I own my own company and had good long term clients. So would arrange a 2 hour phone meeting and be on the walk during the meeting. Weekends sometimes 8 hours. Would walk to a mates place have a break and walk home. I kept it off by constantly monitoring my weight and never letting me get over my max allowed …
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 09:56 PM
2

I can help with the weight or atleast what worked for me. Weigh yourself every morning, and set an upper limit. If you get to that limit have a healthy day and do extra exercise for that day / week to get back down below your weight. 11 years ago I lost 40kg (88? Pounds) so was back to my high school weights as a 40+ year old. I was 2/3 the size I used to be. I am so glad during my divorce (now) that I have lost that weight, if I had kept that size and kept growing I would be about 150+ kg now (…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 09:29 PM
1

If you transferred assets there it will be community property and you will piss off the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 06:05 AM
1

My wife has a hyper aggressive bulldog of a lawyer. But he useless and keeps getting things wrong. (Which is good for me). You want a good lawyer not a "feistiest SOB from among that group?"
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 02:32 AM
1

I would be talking to your lawyer re this. Not an American, but there must be a way you can force the sale and get something rather then foreclose and potentially getting nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 12:17 PM
7

10 kg, I could have lost 5, and have been working out a bit so have gained more muscles, but I am a bit skinny at the moment. My wife lost about 15 and didn't need to lose any, when I saw her for the first time after 3 months of no contact, she looked like a POW.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 04:37 AM
1

Only if you don't trust her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 10:47 PM
3

I have found the opposite with me. I (54M) make friends easily, I have made 5 new friends while staying in my temporary accommodation for 6 months. 2 are my neighbours 2 are.family of my mate where I am.living. 1 was a flatmate of one of the above. My wife has only had 1 or 2 people to talk to, I have over 20 close friends that I can have in-depth talks about. I have made another friend a woman also going through the divorce so we help each other out with what the other person partner is doing. …
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 10:56 PM
7

Please teach us all master ;)
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 11:17 PM
3

As someone 6 months post separation, have a long hard think. Do you still love this person, if so fight for the relationship and what you had. Don't wait until they leave and a few weeks later you realise how much they mean to you but by then it's too late.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 11:19 PM
7

Hurts doesn't it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 11:15 PM
7

We both hurt each other due a bad situation we were in, we were nearly out of that situation, and she threw away 30 years together. And has been needlessly cruel, post separation.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 10:48 PM
15

What it is like to really miss someone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 10:27 PM
7

I get anxiety when I get an email from my ex's lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 08:16 AM
1

Updated it to them.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 03:50 AM
6

Let them keep doing it, actually try and encourage them to do more of it. It will only work out better for you in the long run. Give the idiot enough rope to hang themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 02:05 AM
5

I have a large strong network of support, which had made it easier.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 11:25 AM
1

I have had the opposite intent with my wife through the divorce - I have tried to make it as easy for her as possible (without giving away any of my rights).
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 12:25 AM
6

Sigh. Don't take revenge. Be a better man, and look after your family as you proceed through divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 11:09 PM
2

https://stewartfamilylaw.com.au/family-court-perjury/#:~:text=Providing%20false%20information%20on%20an,credibility%2C%20and%20potential%20legal%20repercussions.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 02:23 PM
13

The best revenge is to live a good life. Going down the same 'nasty' path with just lead to more unhappiness.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 07:00 AM
4

Start the divorce. Get finances sorted. You can still reconcile during / after divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 02:03 PM
2

How would they calculate it ? Other than average divorce loss and average divorce rate ? Insurance (mainly reinsurance), will insure anything. About 30 years ago, i did a project where we were researching if we could calculate how many leaves would fall on train lines (as that slows the train down so less traffic and longer trips).
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 01:49 PM
7

I have worked in Insurance. Hurricane and shipping there is massive data and usually no valid reason for deliberate damage. And if they cheat i.e sink there own ship there are legal ramifications such as jail. This means that the risk can be calculated so then a premium can be charged. It is impossible for an insurance company to calculate how likely a divorce is if the people getting married can not calculate/ determine it. It would be so easy to rip off. Say your wife got a terminal disease, g…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 01:37 PM
6

I wasn't sure if I wanted to get back together - but I wanted to talk about it and see what would happen (slowly over several months - and see if we could rebuild what we had) But now I have my answer that she is not interested in even communicating with me - so I can now move on. This and several other groups on here have helped me greatly as well. I hope we both get a smooth divorce and can move on with our lives and new adventures
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:33 AM
8

I switched 2 days ago. Reached out to her to talk after 3 months no contact. 3 hours later her response was an email from her lawyer. I was on a call when the email came in, I could literally feel the switch happening instantly. Her response gave me no confusion, there is zero chance of reconciliation. At least I now know and I tried and can now move on.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 11:39 PM
10

Take the promotion you will have more money, your kids will have more money. Your ex, the mother of your children will have more money. 2 of the 3 above are good for you. Who cares that your ex wife may get as little bit more. Just think of the kids
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 02:06 PM
3

Accounting seems the obvious choice. Without a background in tech / data science you will have a hard time breaking into the field.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 04:52 AM
6

I will never know if things were done differently what would have happened, and there is too much water under the bridge for us to go back to how it was. The main big takeaway for me is that I could have done better in this relationship and I have learnt from that and should do better in the next relationship. But I do know that the next relationship I will not intertwine my life with my new partner as I did with this Ex partner.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 12:25 AM
5

30 years of lived experience with her. Knowing all the event that happened and each of our reactions to them. Reading a lot in forums like this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 11:56 PM
1

Yes, I do believe that if I had of behaved differently, by paying more attention - we would still be married.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 11:03 PM
3

We haven't spoken since she left the home, so am not sure where her head is. I agree that even if I had of changed earlier we still may have ended up in the same spot.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 09:50 PM
2

I just wished that I had read more posts like this earlier in my marriage, so maybe I would have been more attentive and thoughtful to her and not ended up divorced. I have spoken to a few of my mates and warned them what it is like on this 'side' of a divorce. I also spoke to a few mates of mine who were divorced and said that maybe they should have shared their stories more with their mates, so that we knew what it was like on this side, so that maybe we could change our behaviour before it wa…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 02:39 PM
2

Depends on the kids. One of my mates kids that would be a low number for them, always into something or falling off something. Other mates kids, it would be an extremely high number. So depends on the kids and their activities.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 12:53 AM
8

You and I are men because of our actions, not by who we are currently with, or what other people think of us. We will both get over these hard times, if you ever want to talk, reach out to me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 01:02 PM
1

I am.in a similar situation, we had a 30 year marriage through a lot of hard times, and then a super high stress scenario caused a bad few months and she filed for divorce, just as we were getting ready to spend our retirement together. She didn't speak up enough about what she wanted, and now I fear it is too late. If you want someone to talk through who is going through similar emotions reach out to me and we can talk.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 07:15 AM
5

Yep, well over 1/2 of my life. If anything have that long a relationship has made it harder, as nearly every memory for the last 30 + years - she was part of. But I will be strong and I will recover and get on with my own life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:10 AM
3

The part I have found the hardest is the rejection, one day I am her carer / lover / friend and then it all changes and now she is sitting on the other side of the table to me - and now I have to think of her as an adversary to do battle with. It was a 'We' and not its a me and them - a total change of concept. I can do a 30 minute call with you if you want - NOTE: I am in Australia so GMT + 10
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:04 AM
3

Yep, was totally blindsided by the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 11:11 PM
5

Shit. I knew her for 31 years, so have another 28 months to go.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 09:24 PM
2

Thanks - hopefully within about 4 or 5 months I will be in a position to get more dogs - or maybe get these 2 back. Will see how 'things' are going with my ex then.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 08:33 AM
2

That does seem pretty deliberate, maybe go and speak to the local Police and see what they say.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 03:38 AM
2

29 years for me. Woke up one day and she had gone, have not seen her in several weeks. Life is so much calmer and easier. It's amazing how it's just such a small change every day and then when you are out you realise how far things had gone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:48 AM
2

I am guessing you would need to prove she put it there and prove that she accessed the data - or else she could say that it was accidently dropped there. Note : Not an american - so am using 'australian' concepts /
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:23 AM
5

It was 5 years ago today. That our 2 dogs came to us. She has them in the divorce. If you have your dogs give them a pat for me as I can't pat mine.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 01:45 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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