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Squidgy68 Archive

View 6 posts and 70 comments by Squidgy68 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

In the UK I'm paying £300 a month towards one child
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 02:46 PM
11

I have just found out from my 11yr old Son all about my STBXW new fella he has a better car,House,Job, more money, taller, younger and my Son has been to his house and all 3 of them do stuff together, He's gave my son gifts and took the ex to Venice for her birthday, My STBXW decided not to warn me of this so came as a massive shock and a head fuck really struggling to get over this bit of the divorce more than any other from what my son has told me the new guy sounds OK and not a arse so I'm ha…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 01:47 AM
5

I'm 16months into seperation with divorce due to be hopefully finalised in next few weeks and I thought I was doing well and was over her we was no contact apart from dealing with our son and I was good with that, But I just found out she has met someone new and they are playing happy families my son told me the guy basically has everything I don't better car, job, house has money my son didn't mean it in a bad way he's only 11 but boy did it hurt, Now I'm left feeling like she has got the life …
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 03:56 PM
2

I wish I had read it before getting married instead of after a divorce it's like a biography of my life 😭 same with no more mr nice guy so much of that rings true about marriage & relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 03:52 PM
1

Don't get stuck in the loop of reading loads of books but never acting on any of the stuff you learn apparently it's a thing Men do like you tell yourself I will just read this again or I just need to learn abit more it's a way of hiding away from rejection, It's a chapter in one of these books can't remember which one it might be Models by Mark Mansoon.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 10:20 PM
3

The Value of Others by Orion Taraban. The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover Dating Essentials for Men by Dr Robert Glover The four thoughts that F*ck you up by Daniel Fryer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 10:16 PM
2

If she is open minded and prepared to have a honest conversation about the topics it discusses then yes if she is sensitive and self centred then probably not.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 10:31 PM
2

Covers all aspects of dating & Marriage
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 10:00 PM
3

Read The Value of Others by Orion Taraban it's about the dynamics and values of marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 09:36 PM
11

I'm 51 and divorcing my wife of 20yr moved out a year ago and can honestly say on a whole it's been great the peace & Solitude are lovely things to know you have control over, But the will be days you suffer the feeling of loneliness & intrusive thoughts are never far away but those are parts of the process you will grieve for what you think you lost and your mind will forget what was bad and glorify the good but you will learn that's just another step in your journey, Even after a year I'm stil…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 11:27 AM
10

I'm 51 and in Similar situation was in relationship for 20yr she was my best friend lost most of my male friends decided to divorce I moved to different town and was totally lost & alone so I joined a local Men's support group plenty of men in same situation which helped us bond & make friends so now we do stuff together like Pool, Bowling, Crazy Golf, Cinema, hikes, Quizzes, Meals etc and attend a meeting once a week to get stuff off your chest and release emotions without fear of any judgement…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 11:41 PM
4

I have just completed my 1st Christmas & New Year in 20yr without my wife beside me I moved out January last year and to be honest it wasn't to bad I even wore Xmas Pj's on Xmas Eve and played Ps5 no stress not moaning just a nice chill night, New Year Eve my 11yr old son stayed and we ate loads of snacks and played Ps5 watched a movie and made some Tiktoks was ideal.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 12:33 AM
13

Read or listen on Audible to The Value of Others by Orion Taraban it will open your eyes on why men shouldn’t marry and how fucked the dating game is
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 11:55 PM
4

Same been married 20yr never lived alone at the age of 51 I'm nearly divorced and I moved out last January been alone for a year and it's amazing so peaceful I embrace the loneliness as part of my journey.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 11:48 PM
6

It's like we are the same person!!....I'm 1 yr out of a 20yr relationship divorce is nearly final been on 3 dates in last year kissed one woman not had sex in 11month not even missing it probably because the sex is was getting for the last yr of the marriage was meaningless and unforfilling, Having to get to know someone all over again for it to just fail seems like to much work I think the split has just broke me and staying single hanging out with m8s, going to the gym and work is a much bette…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 11:41 PM
2

Thanks Man definitely a loss of control aspect crept in I don't think it's jealousy I do have problems been self aware of what I'm feeling and plan on working on that this year I also have terrible abandonment issues so that's definitely played a part.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 12:02 PM
1

So to add to the story like I said we stayed friendly but as off the 2nd she has said she wants no contact unless it's to do with our son which is fair enough but boy does that hurt I couldnt pin down what I was feeling as my head was all over the place but after talking to people it's grief at the loss of what was my best friend and also the realisation that it is finally over and time to move on..Am I hurting yes for sure will the pain pass definitely over time I just have to accept that her a…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 10:53 AM
9

Don't think this helped 😂
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 11:01 AM
2

Thanks this has explained how I'm feeling perfectly and can now build a strategy to work thru it 🥰
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 10:01 AM
3

Thanks for all the replies guys they have helped alot.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 10:00 AM
13

Been seperated a year nobody cheated it was just a mutual agreement the relationship had grown it's course we started off very amicable and friendly lots of chats and banter then within the last month she has told me not to come in the house and only converse if it's to do with our son, I wasn't even allowed to put the new memory in his Ps5! Because she sees that as needing me....I'm assuming it's to do with her starting to date now so she doesn't need me around for emotional or practical reason…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 02:51 PM
6

Me & my soon to divorced wife agreed to seperate for a year to work on ourselves around 4 months into the seperation I told her I was divorcing her, Been apart from her gave me time to evaluate the relationship and how it was dragging me down I had completely lost my identity but was becoming much happier and less stressed been apart from her that I decided divorce was needed...That was a year ago I love my new life so peaceful ☺
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 12:35 AM
2

Love this and your right you do become comfortable been alone,When you first seperate or divorce you kind of panic because you think shit I'm going to be all alone so hit the dating apps for that quick fix but then over time the panic subsides and you realise actually been alone isn't as scary as it initially felt it's just diffrent to what you where used to.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 02:31 PM
1

Yer loneliness is probaly the hardest to come to terms with I used to go walk round supermarkets to be around people rather than sit on.mynown, But I'm getting used to it now and I don't mind just been in the silence with my thoughts
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 09:45 AM
3

I've been seperated 8 month waiting on divorce to finalise which should be sometime in December still not started dating just enjoying my own space and company but I can see how that could cause a issue where I get so used to been on my own that anyone coming into my space I could just find annoying or disruptive to my routine.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 11:50 PM
3

Decided to split after 20yr together I moved out to a rented property after 4wks, I started Divorce proceedings around a 3 months later.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 11:43 PM
1

Sign up for a free Audible account the audio book is free on there if you don't like to read and prefer audio
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 02:38 PM
3

I agree definitely read that book all men in this situation should read that book it's a eye opener.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 02:37 PM
9

Maybe people remarry to try to prove to themselves they aren't failures at marriage
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 08:20 PM
2

My wife was same basically said it was all my fault and I'm a narcissist, She seemed to conveniently forgot about all her controlling and manipulative behaviours.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 11:15 AM
2

8 month since I moved out I hit the gym got a 6 pack went to my exs house my son said dad show her your 6pack so a did in my head I'm saying this is big fuck off to you I'm doing better now I'm single
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 11:09 AM
3

Ooh read or listen to audible on a free trial the book "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Dr Robert Glover it may help to see how your relationship went from a different angle.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 11:04 AM
5

So I'm 8 months into a seperation with the divorce due to finalise in October, What I learned so far.. 1, The woman she is now isn't the woman you love she is long gone the woman she is now is going to pretend to be your friend and have your best interests but behind your back she has a team of friends and solicitors all planning how to take everything you have. 2, Get advice as soon as possible don't wait, Don't sign anything, don't agree to anything. 3, Be very careful what you say in texts an…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 10:59 AM
2

I'm beginning to think women are witches that put us under a spell offering love & affection but all the while they are just draining our life force and finances then once our will to live is gone the spell is broken and we are cast off with just our broken shell left.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 04:13 PM
1

I've managed to embrace been alone while home, This is a new experience to deal with and learn from...Got a show booked for tonight and a Dune buggy tour tomorrow to make memories....Thanks for your advice.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 12:29 PM
9

I'm 51 getting a divorce my son is 11 I have another possible 9 year before I have to stop paying towards him I will be 60 before I'm free to live my own life that's if she hasn't took all my savings in which case I could be so poor I can't afford to retire and pay my rent while she lives mortgage free going on 2 cruises a year she is 14yr younger so will be in her 40s when our son leaves home she definitely played the game better than me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 11:16 AM
1

Happy birthday....when we split I took my ex wife out for a meal got her a cake made her feel special on her birthday, for my birthday she got me a card and £10 voucher I knew then to cut emotional ties with her because all it did was cause me pain.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 11:09 AM
1

This is 🔥 I'm 6mth out of my marriage and have gone thru all this they are phases they will pass I hardly think about her now and when I do i tell her she isn't allowed to occupy space in my head I don't give her permission and it works for me, Get out make new friends have new adventures enjoy the peace it's great.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 04:50 PM
1

Fair enough.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 10:28 PM
1

Why didn't you ask them for the number while they showed intrest at the event? Surely Waiting then contacting them afterward on Socials puts you in a weaker position!
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 07:09 PM
2

This group is awesome I don't post to much but I'm a regular visitor and got some great advise from it during my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 10:19 PM
2

Haha if the jackpot was a fucked up mess with a heartbeat then yer I won big time 😂 Divorce is actually going really well and she is been very reasonable!! 🤯
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 07:20 AM
1

Love this
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 09:50 AM
2

My relationship had similar tones to yours always wanting something more
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 09:47 AM
12

So when I met my wife 20yr ago I had no idea what red flags where and also I was very nieve now we are divorcing and I learned about red flags maybe these things would have stopped me even spending a night with her 1 Bipolar 2 Tried Suicide 2x 3 Body Dismorphia 4 Self Harmer 5 Adhd 6 Addictions to Drugs & Alcohol 7 Anxiety 8 Very Needy 9 Very Jealous Spent 20yr of my life thinking I could fix all those things what a waste.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 09:45 AM
5

It can be quick & Painless it depends on the woman tho, We did a finacial agreement I filed the divorce she bought me out the house & signed the divorce papers now we just have to wait for it to be granted, Minimal solicitor involvement total cost £2053 split between us.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 05:44 PM
19

Watch less TV, Joined a Men's group, Did Cinema solo so much more enjoyable not been pestered constantly, Relax & enjoy the peace, Save money, Budget, Drive my car how I want, Sleep has long as I want, Improve myself....Basically just enjoying life now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 05:38 PM
3

She asked for a trial seperation 4mths in I realised it wasn't best option so I started Divorce proceedings she agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 12:10 PM
1

I'm at 4months since seperating filed for divorce just over 2wks ago she has signed feel much better for that as it broke the emotional attachment I had to her, but in a similar situation to OP I work goto gym, eat, doom scroll goto bed rinse & repeat only difference I have a son he stays couple times a week to break the routine up, I joined a Men's group to help give me somewhere to vent my frustrations best thing I did no judgement just men in similar situation who will just listen, I go thru …
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/24 07:22 PM
5

I'm 51 going thru a divorce been with my wife 20yr so dating is not something I'm looking forward to or even in a rush to start...But the 2 books No more mr nice guy and Dating Essentials for Men by Dr Robert Glover are excellent reads and have loads of advice for when I do finally start.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 11:35 PM
2

That's my next step
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 08:34 AM
4

Got therapist appointment on Thursday and joined a Men's support group who I can unload on instead of burdening my best m8
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 09:58 PM
3

Got a lawyer, Been going to gym for years probably in best shape of my life from the weightloss due to stress, Joined a Men's support group, got appointment with therapist on Thursday, started listening to audio books 👌 Got one kid with her
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 09:56 PM
1

What's bpb?
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 09:46 AM
1

Well we was supposed to be giving the relationship a year before we thought about divorce but with her wanting to buy me out now I'm assuming she plans to serve me divorce papers soon
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 11:09 PM
4

Don't get Married..Best advice ever
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:28 AM
1

She will definitely be getting legal advice and more likely just wanted the seperation to give her time to get divorce papers in order, My STBX has done just this said we would seperate for a year to see if we can change before thinking of divorce yet she has spoke to bank about removing me from mortgage and drafted up a financial agreement with a solicitor in first 2 month of me moving out
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:26 AM
2

Our marriage has been going downhill for couple of years we tried to fix it but I think it was to late, The hardest part was if we went on holiday together it was amazing but that was because the pressure of home life was released soon as we got back home it went shit again so we ended up just surviving until the next holiday Sad really because she used to be amazing but now when I see her while I pick up my kid she is just full of resentment and pain
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:07 AM
5

Cheers will watch it now.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 08:10 PM
8

Biggest fear getting a divorce having to start dating again in my 50s and finding out that I'm just broken or the women are broken and I'm destined to be alone or date craziness for rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 07:32 PM
3

I definitely need to get a legal help..Thanks for help.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 07:20 PM
2

So the financial agreement that is suggested is that she gives me 30k for buyout and she doesn't touch the 55k I have in savings, won't claim half my car and won't touch any future inheritance from my dad when he passes, Nothing in agreement about Child support payments tho that won't stop her from claiming them thru the child support agency....She gets to keeps house and takes on remaing mortgage, keeps her pension and her 28k savings
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 05:30 PM
1

It would mean less upheaval for my son and it's possible in 8yr it will be worth more so we both get a bigger payout
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 05:23 PM
5

Similar situation....In January we seperated I moved out the family home after been with my wife for around 20yr married for the last 4 of those years never lived on my own or even really had to do any adult stuff like deal with bills, Landlords, Budgeting Etc I was completely lost I had ditched all my friends to be with my wife so I just sat with my thoughts tearing me apart then a advert came up on Facebook for a mens group in my area I'm not really a people person but I realised if I didn't f…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 10:49 PM
3

We bought the house together before we married both names on mortgage
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 10:05 PM
5

Yer she told me spoke to the mortgage lender they said we both have to sign the form in front of our appointed solicitors for it to be accepted she also mentioned the fees are pretty expensive, I would rather she sell it but she wants to keep it
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 09:24 PM
2

I'm In the Uk
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 09:20 PM
2

That's what I tried to explain to her that it's like I loaned her 30k and made no intrest of profit from it...to make it feel worse most of it was paid from inheritance we got from my uncle they added her to the will which at the time was fine as we still loved each other.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 08:50 PM
1

We both work full time and earn roughly the same wage, Thos she has a 12k pension so far with just over 30yr left before she retires I have no pension as we always said we would use her pension and the savings we have to top my government pension up
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 08:46 PM
2

Let me add she wants to keep the home, i suggested she lives in it with our son till he is 18 he is 11 now and then sell it but she doesnt want to do that hence her wanting to buy me out… i also assume seen as she is buying me out she is responsible for the fees of removing me as i would rather her sell it…. Also she still has over 30yr till retirement and so far has a 12k pension i only had 16yr left till retirement and nonpension we both have equal amount of savings which we have aggreed not t…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 08:42 PM
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