TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

StarHeadedCrab Archive

View 1 post and 139 comments by StarHeadedCrab on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

StarHeadedCrab/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 12:02 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

It's a crime to give aid and comfort to an enemy (treason), it should also be a crime to give aid and comfort to criminals. Romantic partners of criminals should need to prove they were either coerced into the relationship, the criminal did not get any benefit from the relationship, or they had no way of knowing (e.g. they had a reasonably good knowledge of their partner's lives but the partner's efforts to conceal criminality were sophisticated). Otherwise they should serve the same sentence. N…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 09:52 AM
1

Fair
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:42 PM
2

Not all women would agree with you there. Betty Friedan for one. But if that's what really does bring you satisfaction then that's valid. Just don't force it on other women. Also make sure it's not coming from a place of low self esteem or abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 01:12 PM
4

I spent 2 years unemployed but not poor thanks to my family. I felt worthless. The stigma is horrible. Feeling like a failure is hard to get over. Having a role in society feels satisfaying, even if that's volunteering and not paid work. Maybe for you that role is being a housewife, or sex worker. But that's different to not working at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 12:51 PM
3

I'm in a long term relationship of 6 years. I'm in love with my SO and she's more than my best friend, we're basically family. Well and truly in the "companion" stage of relationships (and not all that much passion unfortunately). I also notice attractive women everywhere. Think about fucking them. I watch porn and jerk off quite a lot. I don't really do that thinking about my SO. My SO, and the women I lust over, are basically in different categories. Different compartments of my brain. I don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 12:45 PM
1

The thing missing from your post is that sex feels good. Being wanted feels good. New experiences feel good. Orgasms feel good. Wanting something and actually getting it feels good. Does it outweigh all the other shit? Maybe, maybe not. But that's why it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 12:38 PM
1

It's always seemed counterproductive to me to shame women for being promiscuous, looking at the "harem effect" that people complain about. Sure it means that with fewer monogamous relationships that girls are all competing for the same upper percentile of men. But if they really are hypersexual then eventually they'll have to get more and more men involved to keep up with demand. Ideally men and women would want casual sex just as badly as each other. Slut shaming seems to be working against tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 12:35 PM
1

Requirements - A woman (or AFAB non binary) Aged between 22 and 46. I'm 30 and half your age + 7 is a good measure. Could maybe do 20 or 21 but I'd feel creepy about it, especially if it was more than a hook up. There are some attractive women older than my upper limit but it would feel kind of weird being with someone old enough to be my mother. Not obese (I tried pretending it wasn't a problem once and it was extremely uncomfortable for both of us) Not AMAB (same thing as above - I was on a ni…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 05:44 AM
1

Probably do it tbh. She's great and while I'm still fucked up in a lot of ways and things aren't perfect she's exactly the sort of person I want to settle down with.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 04:24 AM
1

It's not clear that the "asshole" method actually works, that's the issue. There's a lot of bullshit in PUA. Don't give up on your morals and ethics, or who you are. You will regret it. Find a way to square off your morals with some of the other advice you hear (and at least go to a variety of sources).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 04:10 PM
1

In lieu of good information on what actually works, I'd rather people were out there doing good deeds instead of practicing negging and whatnot (my understanding of redpill might be very out of date).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 04:02 PM
3

Basically every time I've ever jerked off, I want to have been actually been doing the thing I was jerking off to. So if I jerk off to an MFFFF sex scene, in this fantasy world I'm having my own MFFFF sex, with me replacing the male talent. I assume that if it was Lesbian porn (which I'm quite fond of) I'm in an MFF threesome with the people in the scene, if it's a lesbian orgy I'm the only guy there and it's a reverse gangbang, if it's solo/celebrities I'm having sex with that person, and so on…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 02:23 PM
1

I like coming home to my girlfriend and how we keep the house nice and how there's someone I can always trust and don't need to "perform" around in my life. It's really lovely and I recommend it, even though it's not perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 01:57 PM
1

Redpill was semi-mainstream in the late 00s/early 10s. The Game sold quite well and you had Neil Strauss doing the talk show circuit, and that show on VH1. Youtube videos of guys picking up girls. I wouldn't say any PUAs were household names but terms like "negging" certainly were common knowledge at my college. It kind of fizzled out with Tinder emerging on the scene - so the discussion moved to discussing the app rather than doing day-game etc. Then the backlash to Elliot Rodger really put a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 01:54 PM
0

Yes No, always been anti-redpill, but former incel and I still have much of the mindset
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 01:40 PM
1

Here's a different example: https://www.who.com.au/dylan-alcott-chantelle-otten-relationship Dylan Alcott is the best in the world by far at what he does, he's fit, he's strong. I don't really understand what makes male faces attractive but I think he fits the part. He's an all around good dude. No matter what your theory of attractiveness is, it seems to add up except that he's disabled. So of course it's not unrealistic that he's with a conventionally attractive sexologist girlfriend. Edit: No…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 01:37 PM
3

My experience: Still with the only girlfriend I've ever had, we've been together 6 years. I still have a lot of resentments from my incel years. When things aren't going well (every relationship has ups and downs). I don't see breaking up as an option because I feel like I'd go back to being a full incel. I think I'd be really vulnerable to an abusive partner, but my partner isn't abusive (she's really great). On the other hand I like that I'm really patient and we work through issues together i…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 01:33 PM
1

You generally can't go wrong with: Slim (or more cynically, lower end of average weight with no signs of anorexia) Perky boobs (decently sized boobs that are fairly round, don't droop, aren't obviously fake), and a firm ass As few signs of ageing as possible I can't describe what makes women's faces attractive but women tend to know what they're doing with their make up. You won't please everyone but nobody will think you're "ugly" if you manage to tick the "conventionally attractive" boxes. The…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 01:21 PM
2

When I was a teenager I reacted extremely negatively to finding out that girls hated "nice guys" and hearing that they instead liked the awful manipulative confident bro shit pushed by PUAs. I thought it explained why there were so many shitty people out there, anti-intellectualism, so many other things I hated about the world. I still kind of feel that way. I still think "confidence" is a terrible trait to select for when it comes to teenagers and twentysomethings - if you are "confident" at th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 01:02 PM
1

Glad to hear things are getting better for you. They are for me too, at least broadly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 09:58 AM
1

Islamic terrorists aren't a charity case. Nor right wing extremists. Cult members. But it's worth dissecting what leads them down the dark paths, what those paths are, so on. I'm telling you that people who aren't attractive and aren't sure what's letting them down end up harming OTHERS after red pill/black pill. Accurate information will help. You have that information. I've done shitty things that I regret. I've been punished for them (so my setbacks are more than being sad) and apologised as …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 07:40 AM
1

And here we are. I think you have it easy and I minimise how shitty your fear is. You think I have it easy and minimise how shitty loneliness and social awkwardness is. I know what my power is and I do as much as I can with it. Can you say the same for yourself? Clearly you know you can do more but decide not to, because you have determined that you don't owe that subset of people. Think of your "social skills" as a superpower because that's what it seems like from my perspective. Same goes for …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 06:29 AM
1

There are men who do awful things because of a lack of feedback. I'm not into victim blaming (which is what saying "man kills woman for rejecting" is). Giving people clarity is nice, and lying is not. It's up to men to do the right thing in response to information, but lying is the default, so how are we meant to ever break the idea that it will lead to violence? You don't need to shit for anyone. You also don't WANT to do shit for men who hit on you. That's ok. But why the "owe" framing. That r…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 04:54 AM
1

I'm not just talking about sad boys being sad about girls. Misguided people can subject others to trauma. Some redpillers reframe abuse as "tips" for example. Think about more than the individual. I also want men to not be shits about receiving feedback but it takes two. You need to give honest feedback. How many times did you test being honest with feedback before determining the risk of verbal abuse and violence was too high?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 03:49 AM
1

I'm afraid of the relationship ending for various other reasons. Maybe I could more confidently assess whether it was right for me but dating is awful so yes a lot of fear. We have good open communication. Maybe you could try convey better just how bad being called a bitch feels? Being verbally abused sucks (I'm autistic, I've had my fair share) but does it suck so much that you can justify rampant dishonesty for the slightest chance of avoiding it? I think you're entitled if being called a bitc…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 02:54 AM
1

Fuck entitlement. Here we go again with language about owing. It's just a nice thing to do. I got used to saying ok and walking away. A lot of men do that just before going to red/blackpill and finding out why. Who is "entitled" not to be lied to?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 02:39 AM
1

It's usually right wingers who complain about people feeling entitled (e.g. to healthcare and housing). I think about "well what's better over all". A system built on openness. The same amount of judgement happens but we are aware of it. The reason people don't necessarily believe you when you say you have a boyfriend is because of all the liars who say they do instead of how they feel. You have every right to your complexity, just don't obfuscate and lie. Is it that hard?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 02:20 AM
1

You have thoughts right? You know what you're thinking? So just blurt it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 01:59 AM
1

I don't think a woman would have been able to stop Rodger being violent. But there's ways to stop people slipping into the worst echo chambers. I know my life could have been a lot worse. But you are seriously underestimating male autistic loneliness and what effect it can have. Entire aspects of your life that you never even had to think about as being an issue were defining my experience of life. From there I'm begging anyone who will listen. Please DON'T be polite. Please be open about what y…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 01:58 AM
1

Look again at Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Sex is in the same tier as food/water/shelter. The love/belonging category is more important than "respect" and "morality". Women should be able to say no. I want women to say why. Same as job interviewers, or managers when they fire you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 01:33 AM
1

17-24 was pretty horrible for me and I have a lot of deep regrets from those years. The resentment isn't gone either. I graduated from my masters a year late because of things related to this. How do you talk about radicalisation and stopping it without seeming like you're blaming others for people like Rodger? I want you to NOT be polite. I am not a misogynist in my day to day life, but I go on reddit to do battle with my resentments. Notice that I avoid echo chambers
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 01:29 AM
1

You're right about the harm and who's responsible. But billionaires and corporations don't control the dating world. Women do. Women are in the position of power and get to set the rules of engagement. It's the job interviewer/interviewee imbalance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 01:20 AM
1

I am very good to my partner. We've been dating 6 years. But retreating into my own little bubble feels wrong. We both do a lot for charity and local politics (I really am a leftist btw). Society is bigger than us. I want to convince you that not giving feedback is harmful. It's the mechanism that leads to incel mass shooters. Men date, thinking it's important. It doesn't work out. They don't know why. They look for one, undergo introspection, and the only ones being offered are toxic misogynist…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 01:07 AM
1

Them being scared of me for who I am is a good reason. Social awkwardness goes from comedy around men to horror around women. Them being able to make a better world, even just a tiny bit by giving feedback instead of dishonesty, and choosing not to every time with no better reason than "I don't owe you"? I think not being happy about that tracks. As a leftist think about the analogy with rich people and corporations. Introspection is the fucking problem here. People on the red and black pills ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 12:56 AM
1

I love my girlfriend. I just think my net happiness over my life would have been higher if I never wanted one and had been taught early on how to tune out dating culture. You trivialise it but you don't actually know what loneliness, confusion about your interface with the world, and the guilt of creeping people out, what that all feels like. Do you think people would end up so deep in dark places if it was trivial? You think dating is just eventually choosing not to reject someone, but it can b…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 12:40 AM
1

Ok. How do we change men's inability to confront inadequacies? I think at least getting an accurate picture of what they are will help. Please help. I'm a misogynist but it's mutual.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 12:30 AM
2

Autistic women, who are significantly outnumbered by autistic men, don't run into the social problems autistic men do. They may have other issues, but they don't have to worry about loneliness and the myriad issues that creates. They say as much . Not being liked by girls, in this society, isn't just a minor issue. It leads to so many other issues and really hits home how weird you are. More than that I think people don't understand how fun autism can be if not for the social consequences. Anywa…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 12:28 AM
2

You do the opposite of tell people what they don't want to hear when you reject them. You've defended doing that over fear. I give a lot of fucks about other people. That's why I want feedback to happen more. I've escaped the dating world, but I still see it for the hell it is and want to save others. You are happy with that world. You helped maintain the status quo when you were there. Now you come here to look down on men caught up in the shortcomings of that world and can't even empathize wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 12:11 AM
2

If you had empathy you'd give people feedback (in the moment, not trying to do some clever "people can tell" to a heated reddit argument). This isn't about me. This is about all the other confused men out there who end up taking red and black pills because of the information void women create. You know this, but you retreat to "well technically I don't have to be honest because I don't owe them". Women are on a collision course with autistic men. Autistic men need feedback and can't depend on hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/22 12:06 AM
1

It would take very little time and even less cognitive effort for you to say what you're thinking instead of a bullshit excuse. But you don't want to do the decent thing because being called a name is apparently both inevitable and some great harm. Even if the version of me you're arguing with on Reddit is unattractive for making the points I'm making, what are the tells that I have deep seated resentment or entitlement or whatever when I'm on a date? I'm not hitting on you. You have privileged …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 08:45 PM
1

You can't just say "I don't owe you" and leave it at that because it's meaningless for explaining whether you do something or not. You just don't WANT to do anything differently. Fine. Why can't you admit that?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 08:35 PM
1

Calling bullshit again, because you would take the same approach when there is no risk. There's things to fear, and we need to fight it. But fear is also an easy go to excuse for selfish and otherwise immoral behaviour. You may confect "fear" hypotheticals but the thing you're actually afraid of isn't violence, it's being exposed for being judgemental or impolite. Maybe you're secretly superficial, or racist, or think they're not worthwhile for some other reason. In my view if judgement is going…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 10:41 AM
2

It's not just not being liked, though that can take its toll (especially with incels/Blackpill out there). It's the blind alleys you follow aiming for "self improvement" to be liked more. The guilt from the other people you hurt on the journey. You seem to advocate for personal responsibility above all else, and disavow any method of learning other than from ones own mistakes (because nobody owes an explanation) But think about the damage someone can do while fumbling around, especially with red…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 10:33 AM
1

I doubt it. Most women don't tell men why they reject them. Politeness is a huge barrier
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 10:04 PM
1

The trauma of dating isn't worth the upshot of finally getting a girlfriend. Plus autistic men are extra vulnerable to being in crappy relationships because there's no confidence in other options. You advocate for better understanding but as soon as you hear that it might expose you to a dark side, or develop resentment and bitterness, you stop caring and turn into a social darwinist and objectivist. So your "better understanding" point is a non starter. I talk about your "graveyard squatting" p…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 10:02 PM
1

We all grow up being told that sex/love/intimacy are fundamental. Look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs. So it is meaningful to talk about being cut off from it. I think a solution may be to reframe that especially for autistic boys. There are a lot of analogies to income inequality. Uneven distribution, vicious cycles, the myth that anyone can make it when it's a deeply flawed system, the lack of empathy for the have nots from the haves. You are judging me based on Reddit venting. You could do a …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 04:43 PM
1

Working on social skills requires knowing where you're going wrong. The lack of feedback is a killer. So maybe be more generous with feedback? Especially when the world is changing so much and you're writing new rules all the time (e.g. the rules around the use of apps and technologies that didn't exist 10 years ago). Definitely not asking for Jordan Peterson forced dating bullshit. I can see parallels with standards put on bodies, so maybe we can try to do better collectively to not be so judge…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 04:33 PM
2

Thank you for your kindness
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 04:19 PM
2

I think my life would have been better if I never truly wanted to date, or was never told it was something to want. So tell autistic boys from early childhood that dating is off the menu. Really reinforce that's what autism is. An "access ramp" might be overlooking bitterness or systems to give accurate and specific feedback when you reject people. But all of that depends on doing more than what you owe people, so not going to fit in your idea of society where everyone is selfish. Access ramps a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 03:52 PM
2

Assuming that autistic men can just pull themselves up by their bootstraps or learn to mask. It's way easier to hide when people aren't looking. Have patience and empathy. You're probably doing fine in all honesty. I'm just bitter about women talking about autism like it's some tragedy nobody recognises them. Oh how I wish my autism wasn't recognised. Anyway again, I'm bitter. That's a me problem
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 03:48 PM
1

You owe the world nothing. You can be a complete selfish asshole if you want. Why do you slow down when people cross the street in front of you? Do you ever donate to charity? I'm telling you what life is like when your "social skills" suck, where you run into issues. Why an autistic person might end up resenting women because of their experience. Not even the direct fault of women. But yet again, another opportunity to preach objectivism. All you have is bootstraps and Ayn Rand. Hope nobody in …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 03:42 PM
2

Maybe? Think about the broader implications of your actions? At least tell people what the "tells" for bitterness are on the actual date - of course it will show up in "why can't I get laid?" threads but those aren't the dates. Think about the world you create with your decisions. If people can talk about the negative impacts of body standards on girls, then this isn't a big stretch. Maybe there is no solution, or autistic boys should be taught early on to avoid dating so they never get disappoi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 03:37 PM
1

Just try not to make it worse for others
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 03:29 PM
3

You are deliberately misinterpreting the analogy. Autism isn't that hard to live with. It actually feels pretty good. Until it comes to social lives, particularly when you want something out of social life. Even then, men mostly find autism funny/harmless. It's women that despise it. So it's women that are the barrier to autistic people. Look up the social model of disability. Anyway I hate the crab bucket. I really do. Think about your role building the bucket and sealing it shut.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 03:27 PM
2

Do you understand how rejecting people over bitterness creates a vicious cycle when rejection is causing the bitterness? Same goes for desperation. It's not the only vicious cycle (e.g. rich get richer, coping with bullying by comfort eating/being bullied over weight). But it's the only one that everyone seems universally proud of perpetuating.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 03:22 PM
1

I don't like women for the same reason people in wheelchairs don't like stairs. It's where you realise that you aren't normal, you aren't ok, you won't be able to have what most people have, and your life is going to be harder because of something outside your control. I'm in ultimate control of myself so yeah my misogyny is on me. But do you understand why someone on the spectrum might be more predisposed to misogyny? Think about social prowess the same way as wealth and maybe you'll understand…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 03:10 PM
1

Again, you can't call it ineptitude if nobody notices. You aren't being judged so how can you fail? Sorry you had social anxiety but seems like entirely internal issues rather than anything external. You have a panic attack - then what? If the date stops, ask them out again. If they say no, ask someone else out. You might not be taken seriously, but that's a sexism issue that all women face. Glad you found the autism framework helpful. But don't pretend to understand the difficulties autistic me…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 03:06 PM
6

You don't think you're being dismissive, but you really are. Most "get therapy" comments are that. Letting go of bitterness is really fucking hard, even with therapy, especially when the reasons you're bitter are constantly reinforced. For someone who claims to be a leftist you're all about bootstraps bullshit when it comes to social lives. You are fertilizing the garden incels grow from. Do you think bitter people looking for the answers are somehow not going to find the red and black pills? Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 02:54 PM
3

The negative impact of Autism (at least Asperger's) IS the social struggle
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 02:47 PM
6

You talk about bitterness like it's a character flaw. It's the natural result of being autistic - it expresses itself as a morality not all that different from yours and the world fails you over and over. You display a real lack of empathy with your "haha bitter much?" attitude
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 02:44 PM
3

I don't see the great tragedy in something completely harmless being overlooked. Your heart attack analogy fails because heart attacks kill both. Autism severely negatively impacts men and barely impacts women at all. And fuck yeah I'm bitter and autistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 02:36 PM
2

Why are you describing social "difficulties" when it didn't actually affect you negatively?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 02:05 PM
3

Not being able to diagnose someone as autistic because they can do fine socially is the same as not being able to diagnose someone as paraplegic because they can walk fine. I think most women who claim to be autistic are lying. They're scrambling to find ways to identify with a non privileged community. Role players. Check out the "extreme male brain" theory of autism.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 02:02 PM
6

Assume it isn't going to happen. Do not try. Pretend that dating is the thing you can't do the way paraplegics can't walk. You could cause a serious mess by trying. Neurotypicals risk rejection. You risk being accused of sexual harassment, and not falsely. The advice you get can be very harmful if you don't quite get it, and you have a high risk of that because of autism. You will never get accurate feedback on why you aren't succeeding. You can't learn from your mistakes if you don't know what …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/22 01:47 PM
1

Poor communication has caused a lot of the world's problems. Subtle and unspoken is a garbage system. People hold onto resentments and false ideas about ourselves and the world around them and it could all go away if people were just brave enough to air it out. You just assume everyone is mostly cool and well adjusted and knows what they're doing. But it's a much bigger world than that. There's girls who lie about having a boyfriend, cut conversations short, don't do the flirt because they think…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 08:16 PM
1

Not giving feedback prolongs and unpleasant and uncomfortable world of misogyny and misunderstanding. Nobody owes anyone anything but that isn't the be all and end all of what the right or best thing to do is.
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 03:21 PM
1

Here we go again on the idea of "owing" being the be all and end all of whether something is nice or good to do. Enough of that shit.
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 03:05 PM
1

A math problem. Let's say you have 5 heterosexual women and 5 heterosexual men on a week long camping trip. 4 different women have a sexual encounter on the trip. How many of the men had sex? Your first instinct might be 4. But the answer could be anywhere between 1 and 4. The women could have all had sex with the same guy. Many manosphere types believe the world works that way, that they're all having sex with the same guys, and the math scales up. So you have alphas/chads who have sex extremel…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 02:13 PM
1

Not my type means: They have a type. They know what their type is. They have traits in mind that they're looking for. You aren't that type. They have figured out certain qualities in you. Those qualities differ from what they're looking for. So there's information there that they're hiding when they say "not my type". Maybe it's unreasonable to expect that anything will ever get better in this world. But I will die on this hill. The world would be a better place if we were all more transparent. …
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 01:38 PM
1

Oh how I wish I got told that I sucked when I was dating. It was always just ghosting, or not my type,
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 01:30 PM
1

Ok let's say you swiped right on someone on Tinder - swiping left is a rejection but clearly there's no time to articulate why. But then mid online conversation you decide you're not interested. You haven't exchanged details. Or not sure if OkCupid is still a thing (I went on my last date with someone who isn't my current partner in 2016), but a guy messages you and you just aren't interested. Do you tell them that you're not interested, and why? I doubt it. I've been on the other end of that ma…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 01:25 PM
1

You’ve got your logic twisted there, friend. If someone uses me just for sex, my first thought is that I wasn’t interesting or funny or hot enough to be worth any more of their time - I’m just a living sex doll and my personality is erased. By contrast to your comment, that is ALL about who I am as a person not being good enough. If it wasn’t, they’d have been so blown away by me that they’d have stayed. Would it be a comfort for you to know that those men weren't paying attention to your person…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 01:01 PM
1

You aren't awkward. Awkward would mean that people find themselves uncomfortable or embarrassed around you. That just doesn't happen because people want to be in your good graces. What kick do you get out of identifying with things that don't actually apply to you? It's not cool to be awkward, it's fucking horrible. Congratulations on your good social life, but "suck it up buttercup" won't work for most men with what you have. You want more people to be "ex red pill"? It takes empathy. So think …
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 12:49 PM
1

Do you want horrible people to love themselves as they are? Or do you want them to change first? I have no ill feelings to anyone who rejects anyone. What I want is for people to normalise giving feedback
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 12:38 PM
1

I'm in a committed long term relationship. The dating world is in the rear view mirror for me. But I'll never forget how hard it was. I want to kill the pill. Edit: This sort of "you're failing because you're asking why you're failing", "you're failing because you're desperate" vicious cycle is the worst thing, especially when you imply that people can see it in you no matter what you do. How do you escape that? You can't really. I think it's the main thing that drives people to the darkest corn…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 12:32 PM
2

You know what, you're one of the only people in maybe 10 years of posting about this sort of thing that has had any kind decent answer to how "compatibility" can be a thing when the qualities women describe as finding attractive are generic "good person" traits. Thank you. You should still be open and honest when you reject people about why you do, and accept that while you might be able to externalise and brush off rejection, men can't because whether you find them attractive or not speaks to t…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 01:28 AM
-1

There's also never any doubt for you over exactly how attractive you are. All the pressure you get from society to look a certain way? The upside of that is you know exactly what society asks of you. Plus it means you're often being judged on superficial shit. Your personality is never called into question at all, so rejection never speaks to who you are. It's also far easier for you to externalise rejection. Clearly the guys that pump and dumped you were only after sex and if they implied other…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 01:22 AM
-2

So you would describe "I don't have a connection with you because I think you're stupid, boring, ugly and dangerous" as "I don't have a connection"? That's dishonest
/r/ExRedPill08/02/22 01:03 AM
-1

If you don't feel a connection because of X reason, it would be the right thing to do to say the reason.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 11:45 PM
0

Firstly, people seem to be zeroing in on "reject after a few dates". There's also people you reject immediately as they hit on you, mid flirt, before the first date, etc. You know what you're thinking when you reject someone, right?
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 10:59 PM
0

It's nobody's responsibility to ensure that anything good ever happens anywhere
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 10:56 PM
0

You're seeing misogyny as an individual problem, and it is in some respects, but the recruitment and radicalisation of people is a much bigger problem and women have ended up suffering as a result.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 10:33 PM
0

Thanks for being candid. Surely now you can see the huge information void. Misogynists have plenty to work with to say, for example "she doesn't know why she feels the spark sometimes and not others, but I do!"
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 10:27 PM
1

So you were vibing with some people's tinder photos and not others? You have no idea what you're thinking?
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 10:21 PM
1

Let the people you tell decide whether it's a fair criticism or not. I hate how judgement happens but we are too afraid to talk about what we're judging.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 10:20 PM
0

You seem extremely reluctant to name one characteristic or trait you look for in men. Why is that? It's ok to be judgemental
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 10:08 PM
1

Did you swipe right on everybody?
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 10:03 PM
1

What about for casual sex? And how did you find your boyfriend? Was he the first person who hit on you after you decided "actually yeah maybe I do want a relationship" I mean can you see the information void that redpill is filling?
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 09:54 PM
1

What about the people who you reject immediately as they hit on you? I always thought a version of Tinder where as you swipe left you give a reason would be helpful, but women won't go for it so the app fails.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 09:48 PM
1

This is why people need to give specific feedback when they reject people.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 09:40 PM
1

Therapists aren't going to tell you why you suck. They'll reassure you in various ways to make you feel ok mentally, but they aren't going to tell you that you're ugly or that you are irritating. Plus you aren't seeing that therapist in a date context. As a date you have SPECIFIC information on EXACTLY what went wrong with you in that context. Honestly I think the world would be a better place if feedback was expected and we were all transparent with each other. But I can understand why unilater…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 09:40 PM
1

Let them figure out whether the thing that's "wrong" with them is reasonable or not. If it's irrelevant bullshit, then it will be easy to dismiss. But with enough information people might be able to figure out things about themselves that are letting them down that they do actually want to change. In particular, knowing that the things you're insecure about aren't the things letting you down are extremely helpful, because that's what people will cling to. You don't "have to" lay it out, but doin…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 09:26 PM
1

When people say "not my type" they are. They have figured out a way you differ from their ideal that's unacceptable, and they're not telling you. Thank you for giving accurate feedback. Even if they chuck a tantrum, you're doing good. Teachers should give feedback even if their students chuck a tantrum at first, because there's a pathway to learn. It's the same with dating.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 09:19 PM
0

You mention in another thread that you struggle with anorexia. Sorry to hear that. But surely you see how empathise with important it is to have more objective information about what's going on, and how you can't necessarily rely on yourself to give an accurate reflection of what's going on in your life?
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 09:15 PM
1

> A lot of women will be honest and tell guys their reasons for not being interested or whatever after a date, but a lot of men react to this with temper tantrums, insults, threats etc. In my experience and that of my friends, that never happens. Even "I'm just not feeling it" is usually a bridge too far. Much more common is ghosting and "sorry you're not my type". "Not my type" implies: 1) You have a type 2) You have determined that the person you're dating doesn't fit your type So there's info…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 09:08 PM
0

Do you think it's psychologically healthy to leave people with no idea why they aren't succeeding so they are forced to jump to various theories (including redpill), or dissect every single thing that could possibly be wrong with them. All because you're too much of a self centred coward to say what you're thinking when you reject someone. Taking personal responsibility is ideal, but a lot of people have no idea what to do next. They think reading redpill shit IS taking personal responsibility. …
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 08:53 PM
1

Well I guess that's that then. There's an opportunity to kill the path to redpill and blackpill, but despite several walls of protection (e.g. being online), women just don't want to. Looks like redpill is here to stay
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 08:45 PM
1

You don't get it. I'm not looking for advice. I am looking for ways to destroy the redpill.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 08:03 PM
-1

Then say that when you reject someone instead of nothing, or "not my type"
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 08:01 PM
1

I knew you were going to put that one in. That one definitely doesn't outcompete the red pill books and it lacks focus.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 07:21 PM
1

The information void happens when women ghost, or say "sorry you're not my type", or just break it off without ever saying what they're thinking. Some just ignore the void or never have to think about it. Some fill that void with redpill. Some fill it with blackpill. Some self loathing. I think it follows that if being attractive is about generic platitudes, not being attractive means you are the opposite of that. But that's just me. At any rate, the information void, and OP not being able to ge…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 07:19 PM
1

At what point did I say do it for free? I just want redpill to be outcompeted by people who have the capability to do it.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 07:15 PM
0

Your body language and social skills could be terrible, and you wouldn't ever know because as a woman everything just works out fine anyway. You're like one of those trust find kids who think that their wealth is a result of their hard work. You are insulated from failure.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 06:19 PM
1

Yet you didn't even name one, let alone one specifically about helping men "get laid" that isn't TRP garbage.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 06:14 PM
-7

So if you are actually a boring stupid asshole, you get the same "nothing's wrong with you, you're just not their type" advice. You get trained to ignore it when people reject you and just try again. But you might have serious fucking problems that need fixing, and it might not even be that hard to fix. How is anyone meant to figure out anything? There are serious deficiencies in the way society handles dating.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 06:06 PM
-14

The problem is that we keep being told that what women find attractive are generic "good person" platitudes from non TRP sources. Go on askwomen and they'll mention that they like the guys they're with because they're (for example) interesting, and smart, and kind. So what does that mean when they don't find you attractive? It means that your'e boring, and stupid, and an asshole. Right? It's also why "everyone has a type" falls over - who wants a boring stupid asshole? (which is what this woman …
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 06:00 PM
0

You keep talking about how you worked on your social skills and because you fixed it all up so easily that everyone else may be able to. Are you aware that maybe you're not that good at it and reading those magazines didn't actually help, it's just that it doesn't matter when you fail because you're a woman. You might be just as awkward as a man with aspergers on a date, but because fundamentally people want to be in your good books, everyone just rolls with it. You have no idea how privileged y…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 05:50 PM
1

You have probably been able to "mask" your aspergers just like most women with it. You might have your idiosyncracies but you probably have a rich and vibrant social life, no trouble finding people to date, and so on. People will swipe right on you on Tinder and roll with whoever you are so they can fuck you. People might even overlook your aspergers, the way women often get overlooked. Sounds like the greatest gift of all. Your life is nothing like an autistic man's and you will never understan…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 05:45 PM
-25

Why do you think it's so easy to brush rejection aside? Someone has sized you up as a human being and thinks you're a garbage human, and that's just some everyday experience that isn't meant to affect you? You often won't even get to know why they think you're garbage. There's the big information void that redpill grifters are all too happy to fill. Rejection hurts. If you don't acknowledge that pain and the misogyny pills do, guess who's going to get listened to more.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 05:36 PM
1

You posted on an aquarium subreddit asking for help with your fish tank. What made you think that anyone would want to help you? Nobody owes you anything. You thought people with knowledge and experience would let you know what's going on? You must have some serious entitlement issues /s Why is this the one area of life where everyone retreats into "I don't owe you" bullshit? Everywhere else human beings are generous with advice and time, but here there's a code of silence about what people are …
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 05:20 PM
1

The make up industry can describe the faces. An autistic dude not knowing the finer points of what makes an attractive face doesn't mean they're unknowable. The seminars would be very profitable for women. More to the point, aren't you aware of how dangerous redpill is? But you don't want anything to change about the world or what information is out there. Most of the reasons against the idea in this topic are selfish "we don't owe anyone anything" bullshit. Women could make the world a better a…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 05:03 PM
1

It happens after the generic platitude "be a good person" advice doesn't work. Some people interpret that advice and draw a "be a Nice Guy TM" from it. The argument that women won't be open and honest about wanting to be dominated, or having extremely specific blackpill preferences is hard to crack. Politeness is a curse.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 04:52 PM
0

That's the end result of the "nobody owes you anything, you're on your own" logic
/r/ExRedPill07/02/22 04:27 PM
1

So where's the non asshole guide to getting laid?
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 11:54 PM
1

If you could recommend one feminist book for a former black/redpiller which one would you recommend? Like I don't know why the real deal wouldn't be more compelling than a grifter for a frustrated single man.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 05:52 PM
1

So every man that wants to "get laid" will either be satisfied with the amount they get laid, or want to get laid more often. And everyone in that latter category that stumbles upon redpill shit is worthless and horrible?
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 05:06 PM
1

That's actually news to me, thank you. I know men dismiss what women have to say about what they like in places like askwomen, but they really do look like generic platitudes that don't seem to actually map to who they sleep with, or aren't actually descriptive. But would men dismiss a bunch of interviews with promiscuous women where they outline what they look for, how they signal that they're promiscuous, their routines for finding their hookup? What about where regular tinder users talk throu…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 05:04 PM
1

One juncture where I think it could be useful is the redpill/blackpill juncture. People who read "The Game" (maybe I'm really out of date on where the culture is now), it doesn't work, so they look for the next thing. Instead of finding "here's why PUA didn't work. it's because you're doomed because of your height and bone structure", they could find something feminist. The other juncture is men who want to get laid and it isn't happening for them, maybe they're even being nice guys TM, and then…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 04:55 PM
2

That's basically a repackaged version of "you don't ask a fish how to catch fish". You're saying that there aren't any women out there who enjoy casual sex, or there's no way for men to pursue a sex life ethically. Obviously the ethical alternative book wouldn't be encouraging men to manipulate women. I mean I have no idea on the actual facts here, it just sucks to see redpill talking points on an anti redpill subreddit.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 04:20 PM
-2

I would have thought it actually working would shake up redpill communities. The proof is in the pudding. The post above is me (over)reacting to "we don't owe you anything", and then some advice on what men can do instead. It's not a good explanation. The stuff about women not feeling comfortable in the spaces is actually an answer of sorts to the OP question.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 04:10 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 04:05 PM
0

Some people are after just the sex and sex work is the solution. My personal experience though is that often this wanting to be sexually successful comes from feeling like a loser or reject, and needing to pay for sex won't help with that at all (in fact it will hurt). Maybe the "good book" could explore whether seeing a sex worker is right for you? I've always been envious of how women can get into things like polyamory, swingers, casual sex on demand etc. Again, jealousy is something to discus…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 04:03 PM
1

You can call it bad faith if you want but I think a big part of redpill's pull is the information void. That void is caused by ghosting and politeness, as well as the lack of prominence for what women find attractive in media (compared to what men find attractive). I sympathise with not wanting to say why, but that kind of information would be helpful For contrast, women get very clear and accurate messages about how they can be more attractive. I made the post I made because my experience of ge…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 03:51 PM
0

So just to clarify, is "I'm a horny man, I want to have lots of sex with women I find attractive" inherently going to end with using and abusing women? There are women that enjoy casual sex right? Like I'm way out of my depth here but couldn't you take the core idea of teaching men how to finding people who want to have casual sex, and be an appealing choice for those women, and lead people to something less misogynistic? Even just something like describing how to be good at sex and give women a…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 03:38 PM
1

I mean we're on r/exredpill so I thought maybe there'd be people here interested in preventing people from taking the redpill in the first place. But yes you're right, nobody owes anyone anything and we can all be selfish assholes if that's what we feel like doing
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 03:14 PM
0

So to be clear, you think such a book could exist, that women could write a book that would both outcompete red pill bullshit and divert people that otherwise would have gone onto the redpill-> alt right pipeline. But because women literally aren't obligated to write it, none of them have?
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 03:08 PM
0

I think men are drawn to the misogynist death spiral of the red pill because this doesn't actually work. Women are more likely to ghost you than tell you why they don't find you attractive, or they'll give something vague like "you're just not my type". This makes sense for safety reasons, or because it's exhausting telling everyone why, especially when they don't take no for an answer. Female friends can be a help, but men often don't get good advice on that front either (think "friend zone"), …
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 03:07 PM
-3

Why would a book that works be less marketable than a book that doesn't? Like even if it's troll marketing for a feminist book, genuine testimonials of men who followed advice in the book getting laid would make it quite competitive with a redpill book that gets people into self defeating misogynist loops. I guess the grifter business model is about keeping men on the hook to go to multiple seminars and buying multiple books, so from a pure money perspective there's not as much to be made with t…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 03:02 PM
-2

The world would be a better place if things were more transparent and with better communication. It gives us a better chance to be good to each other. But nobody owes anyone anything, you're right. We can all just be sovereign citizen objectivist assholes if that's how you want to play it.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 03:00 PM
-3

I mean there are going to be autistic men (I'm one myself). Do you want them to end up in misogynist echo chambers, or do you want them to be influenced by more benign forces. But besides the activism thing, I'm surprised that women haven't just seen it for the business opportunity.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 02:58 PM
-3

I'm not a woman and have no idea what women are looking for in casual sex partners. At any rate, maybe it's not women's responsibility, like it's not your responsibility to call the fire brigade if you see a building catch fire, but it would do a lot of good if someone did.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 02:56 PM
1

Misogyny is definitely a problem though, and it has an outsize influence. 1 in 5 women are victims of sexual assault, but much fewer than 1 in 5 men are perpetrators.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 02:55 PM
-4

See I agree with you there, totally, but it isn't solving the problem of "I want to have sex with women I find attractive", which is the problem men are seeking to solve and where only misogyny is offering solutions. Like to use an analogy, if you're a vegan and someone wants a burger, you could lecture them about how wrong meat is, and they'll go down the street to someone who will sell them meat. Or you can offer them an Impossible or Beyond Burger.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 02:53 PM
-2

So couldn't that be in the "book that works"? If you can write it to me, why can't someone else write it in a book that takes the redpill community by storm as people who read it have unprecedented success
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 02:50 PM
0

I mean what came first - them being worthless and horrible, or the redpill ideology that says that being worthless and horrible is the way to attract women?
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 02:03 PM
-13

I'm talking about guides for heterosexual men to be able to have casual sex with women they find attractive.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 12:57 PM
-5

You don't feel bad for women hurt by redpill men, or for men caught up in toxic misogyny loops?
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 12:55 PM
-6

Firstly, wouldn't it be good to cut off some of the men who cause those problems at the source? Secondly, there's good money in it for you
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 12:37 PM
-20

So why aren't there women writing books and doing seminar tours giving advice that actually works to men and outcompeting the redpill grifters
/r/ExRedPill06/02/22 12:36 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter