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StarSweeper86 Archive

View 4 posts and 77 comments by StarSweeper86 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

That's really disappointing that they removed your post. I was thinking maybe it was because you said the highly charged words, "pOrN aDdIcTiOn", but who knows. I mean it's a sub to talk about narcissistic abuse and I feel like all of that BDSM stuff also falls under that umbrella. Anything that could be used to manipulate a person. So yeah I really don't understand why it was removed. That sub was what helped me realize that something wasn't quite right in my last situationship, and not long af…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 08:07 AM
5

This was my mentality up until I found FDS. I sought external validation so hard from men. Posted my nudes on a public forum, all for a hit of dopamine and validation. I thought that I was missing out on some key experience of being female because I was rarely catcalled or sent dickpicks or even engaged with in general. Not anymore since FDS. I lost 100lbs in the last 15 months and I'm feeling better and more confident than ever. And the best part is that I feel pretty, and I finally realized th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 09:46 AM
8

I'm not trying to be rude, but instead of just assuming she is islamophobic, why not try to enlighten her with a more in depth answer to her question? This could be a valuable teaching moment for someone who may just not be well informed about every aspect of Islam.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 11:36 AM
1

Thank you ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 02:27 AM
1

I really appreciate your kind words. I definitely realize that, and while he may have been a catalyst for me to try harder, I had already began my weight loss journey before he even entered the picture. I have been three months no contact with him now and I'm still going strong. I'm losing the weight for me so that I can finally feel good and proud of myself ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 12:29 PM
24

Agreed. Saying she deserves this is kinda harsh IMO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 06:07 AM
9

This really hit home for me. My last LV entanglement literally did this to me every time we had plans to talk on the phone, have video chat, or play video games. Those 3 things were our primary ways of spending time together since we were long distance. But yes, without fail he would make me wait anywhere from 10 minutes after our scheduled time to sometimes an hour late. And my sad former pickme self just accepted it and was so happy he didn't cancel on me, because I needed that validation for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 12:02 PM
140

Translation: "I'm too lazy to put in any effort".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 04:40 AM
10

I love this so much ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:47 AM
16

You definitely aren't overreacting. You need to block him and move on, and read the handbook. Nobody is that busy to the point that they take that long to respond. The longer you continue to hold on, the easier it will be for him to continue to manipulate you. You deserve better than this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:36 AM
40

Probably the biggest red flag that I ignored from the beginning was that I was literally his only friend. He framed it as though he had been keeping to himself so he could focus on school and also because he had PTSD. Come to find out later that it was because he was just an asshole and had "burned all his bridges" - his own words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:05 PM
11

Did he have the classic fuckboy smirk?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 11:03 PM
36

So just this year and only after I found FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 05:25 PM
15

This! My cat is the only male in my life who gets to share my bed. He's more devoted to me than most men could ever dream to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 04:54 PM
33

I agree, I feel like these are questions he would ask so that he can temporarily mold himself into that person to get sex. I've seen a few ladies here respond to the "What are you looking for?" question with "I'll know it when I see it" and I always liked that answer. It answers the question without giving them any tools to manipulate you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:38 AM
108

Anybody who mentions sex multiple times like that right off the bat seems like a big red flag to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:09 AM
155

"I need to see how you look in a bikini" This is why beach/pool dates are a no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 12:00 AM
57

Oh okay. Let me just rid myself of all my life's accomplishments, financial stability and independence so that a guy can come along and manipulate me into depending on him for everything so that I will never leave and put up with all of his crap. Got it. 👌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 10:49 AM
68

Stalker issues aside, he's missing the forest for the trees. What ever happened to, oh I don't know, being direct with a woman and telling her you're interested? It speaks so cowardly of him that he would rather resort to stalking her. Just wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 10:40 AM
22

So much this. This whole thing really triggered me because I went through something very similar this year, before I found FDS. He knew how I felt about him and I asked him multiple times if he was still interested in me. Every time he said that he was, but looking back, the only thing he was interested in was an ego boost. But yet he still held on and continued sucking the life out of me. Now I'm left with a bunch of hardcore trust issues that I'm trying to work through. I was naive and didn't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:57 PM
13

The gaslighting here is just unbelievable. My heart hurts for this woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:45 PM
6

Your Nana sounds like an amazing woman! I love FDS too for similar reasons. I love my mother and female relatives, but none of them were ever a strong influence in my life in a positive way. There are so many things I have learned from this sub, and I think back and wish that I had a female role model in my life to teach me these things when I was growing up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:46 PM
10

Thank you! I feel like piercings/tattoos/body mods are very personal things and that it is unfair to make such a broad generalization like that about people who have them. I'm also not promiscuous, and never have been. I'm not sure how the piercing will affect my professional life, but I have a few years before I reach a point where that will matter so I'm not even worried about that right now haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:42 PM
27

I just got my first piercing (nostril) about a month ago. While searching reddit for related piercing threads, I stumbled across a post asking what men thought of women with piercings, and an overwhelming number of the responses from men were not in favor of them. One of the main reasons I gleaned is because they associate them with promiscuity. I never really thought about it, but it seems like just another bad stereotype to me. I just thought it was a shame that so many men were hating on them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:07 PM
3

I love this analogy. Thank you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:37 AM
5

Sounds to me like he just wanted free therapy. Talking about emotional issues/trauma like he did without really knowing you is definitely a red flag. He needs to see a therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:48 AM
18

This reminds me of the last LVM I was involved with. He would always go on about how I was so kind and such a great source of positivity for him. One day it clicked when I was re-reading our convos, that he literally called me a resource. Not a positive person. Just a positive "source". Something for him to take freely and use as he pleased without any regard for me. This guy clearly sees you the same way. Just another source of ego stroking until someone else comes along. Good for you for block…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:05 AM
2

I have been counting calories (frequently referred to as CICO/calories in, calories out on reddit subs) for the last year and I have lost 90lbs. I track my meals and water using MyFitnessPal. I try to eat nutrient-dense (think lots of veggies and protein) meals that have a lot of volume so that I will feel full and satiated. Reddit subs (r/loseit, r/CICO, and r/progresspics) have been great motivators for me. Seeing other people's progress is super inspiring! I also do intermittent fasting. Ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:12 AM
31

"Please oh please message me and confirm that I'm not ugly like you said I was! You're a stranger and your opinion means so much to me!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 12:13 AM
43

Ohhh it burns me up inside when men tell me I need to smile. I used to work in retail and male customers would tell me that all the time. As if we exist for their pleasure 🙄 And I would be in a perfectly fine mood too, but just concentrating really hard on whatever I was working on at the time. I have a RBF and I guess they didn't like that. Too bad for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 11:35 PM
9

I really appreciate your positive perspective. You're right, it is an optimistic thing. I'm working towards creating a great life for myself and I'm on a much better path than I've been in well..ever. I appreciate you lovely ladies and all of your valuable insights!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:15 AM
3

Thank you for that. I will keep that in mind, and the same goes for you as well if you ever need to talk. Wishing you the best! ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:08 AM
10

I love this analogy. It really helps put things into perspective. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:04 AM
2

You're welcome! Keep working on yourself and believing you're worth it and it will come. You'll get through it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:00 AM
5

Sure! My favorites are: r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy r/LifeProTips r/SkincareAddiction r/HaircareScience r/xxfitness r/StrongCurves Also a good one that helped me deal with my issues caused by my narc LVM ex is r/NarcissisticAbuse. I have some other more specific ones that I use for weight loss (r/loseit and r/progresspics) and one for my wavy/curly hair (r/curlyhair) as I just started doing the curly girl haircare method. Hope these help!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 02:36 AM
16

Like you, I am also fresh out of a situation with a LVM narc (who I blocked and deleted). It's difficult not to look at every guy I talk to lately with narc lenses because of that. I'm not dating right now, but I recently reconnected with a group of friends. Some of the guys I am talking to within that group whose behaviors I used to not really think much about, I am now analyzing a lot more. I know it's a good thing to be cautious but it just makes me not eager to open up. I used to be a really…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:49 AM
55

I just wanna say that I love FDS, but since reading it daily, I've started viewing men as a whole with a completely different lens. I realize that overall it is a good thing to be cautious, but...how do you guys adhere to FDS principles while still remaining optimistic? I hate thinking badly of a whole group and I feel like it isn't a good practice to just pre-judge and lump every guy into a group like I've noticed myself doing lately. I want to stay on guard and protect myself, but I also don't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 01:27 AM
8

My LVM ex also had narc tendencies. And being alone was my greatest life fear up until this year. After finding FDS, I blocked him and have come a long way in just a month with my mental state. In addition to reading FDS daily, I have also started browsing lots of self-care, fitness, nutrition and other health-positive subs. I find that when I take care of myself, I feel better about myself and become more confident. This reinforces the fact that I truly am worthy of all the love that I give mys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:05 PM
34

I agree and I think the real reason these scrotes like to claim that women hit the wall in the 30's is because they know that by that time, more of us are enlightened. They want someone young who hasn't been through as much so they can manipulate and power trip over them. I think of being in my 30's as a good thing because it weeds out more LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 09:02 PM
6

💯 You're absolutely right, and that is exactly what he did. I've definitely learned my lesson about paragraphs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 08:20 AM
7

You made some excellent points with everything that you said, and I appreciate your thoughtful response! I realize now that it wasn't a very HVW thing of me to do to bash and compare him to my ex like that, but I thought I might provide a bit of context. Before I said that to him about my ex being forgetful, I had questioned him as to why he wasn't responding to all my paragraphs. He made a bunch of bs excuses including one that said he had just gotten prescribed benzos and that he "may be forge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 07:47 AM
113

Can you imagine being a man's "slump buster"? This was a good reminder to help solidify my decision to be single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 05:57 AM
18

My takeaway from this article is that therapy is super important if one wants to move forward with their life and make progress. I wouldn't want a man downplaying my trauma as a woman anymore than I would want to downplay the trauma a man may experience for being a male. I understand there are some gender differences that influence the way we grow up and deal with problems and emotions, but really to me the explanation doesn't matter. What matters is that the person cares enough about themselves…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:04 PM
10

No idea. I tried subtly telling him about all the healthy things I was doing in my diet and then asked what his nutrition was like. I don't think he got the hint.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 10:10 PM
5

The same way you leave a mean one. Never let a narcissist devalue you. That is their game. You need to change your perspective from the inside out. If he makes you feel unworthy in any aspect then he is not worthy of you. If you are struggling with self confidence, take some time for yourself to reprogram your thinking and learn to value yourself. Appearance can be easily improved with a little TLC and self-care. I have lost 90lbs since getting entangled with and blocking my narcissistic ex LVM.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:40 PM
58

He what in his what???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:20 PM
32

🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:11 PM
3

Just LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:31 PM
83

Right? They act like it's something to strive for. My guy friend told me he thought women on dating apps should be flocking to him because he had a dad bod. I was literally speechless lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 07:28 PM
12

It just shows how little self respect the guy has. Like I would be mortified if I did something so unhygienic like that at all, but especially allowing another person to see, especially my partner of all people. And if you can't even achieve basic respect for yourself, you certainly aren't going to be able to respect anybody else. It's sad when you can see through these actions just how little some guys truly value themselves. Hygiene and self care are so important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 09:01 PM
5

Damn, I sneezed a little bit ago after reading this post and almost had it ruined because I started thinking about bad sex 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:47 AM
58

It doesn't really matter what you call it, playing games, whatever. He is disrespecting your time and turning the tables on you by blaming you for something that he is doing, in hopes of deflecting you from the problem at hand, which is his blatant disrespect for you. If he were busy, it takes 10 seconds to send a text letting you know that. Don't put up with someone who isn't interested in conversation with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:49 AM
2

I don't disagree about the men finding dates off social media. But to me, if it had been that important to him, he could have changed his notification settings to make sure he saw her message. To me, negligence isn't an excuse for a delay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 12:54 AM
24

How can someone be "bad" at replying on a social media platform, but better at texting? Your phone gets notifications from the apps just the same as it would a text. There is literally no excuse for being bad at social media. He just wants your number.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 12:13 AM
28

I used to play Words with Friends (because I actually wanted to play the game) before I realized it was a cesspool of older (probably married) men looking for sexting, and scammers. I have very little experience with dating apps, and I have since stopped playing Words. However, literally every man who would try to start a conversation with me would call me some form of dear/honey/sweetheart, or worse they would use my name. I like my name, but it made me realize just how personal it is for someo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 11:50 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 07:43 AM
39

Going back to school to finish my degree Losing weight (have lost 85lbs since last July) Exercising Eating healthy Letting go of toxic friendships Tailoring my social media feeds to show more positive and uplifting content. Especially my reddit subs, which are all self-care, nutrition/fitness, and FDS-oriented Taking the time to implement more self-care into my daily life Rewarding myself for my accomplishments (ex. I got a nose piercing to reward myself for losing weight, which has made me feel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 04:21 AM
27

This sounds like a neg to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:07 AM
7

Yes, when they say stuff like that pay attention because it's usually true. And to think, I used to think it was sweet when they would say things like that lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:05 AM
26

I cannot upvote this post enough. Reading this was like looking back at a snapshot of my life for the last 6 months. Same weight loss journey, same narcissistic asshole who I thought was sooo hot, same "narcissistic smirk" and cold eyes. Ugh. I cannot understand why I used to think he was so handsome. I would constantly compliment his looks which he loved, (because he's a narcissist and he loves attention). Whereas he was always so negative to me about my looks, especially my weight. That's exac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 04:59 AM
17

Good for you for blocking him. I wasted 6 months on a guy who pulled the exact same shit with ignoring me when I tried to talk about things that were bothering me. The last straw that made me block him was when he took 3 days to reply to something I had been wanting to discuss, that I had already laid out my feelings about. He complained that I had written him a "novel" and that he didn't know what to say. Then he proceeded to spend the next 10 hours playing video games. And then the next two da…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 04:48 AM
27

After finding out I weighed more than he expected: "You look great, but no way am I attracted to you." All the while continuing to heart my pictures on social media and having 3 hour video chats and phone calls with me. Not really sure if it counts as negging but it definitely fucked with me psychologically and still does to this day. Also when comparing my older pictures to my newer ones, he would tell me my face looked different and asked if I photoshopped my pics. No you asshole, I just gaine…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 09:46 PM
27

Alex Eric Stephen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 09:25 PM
4

YouTube gaming channels, twitch streams, etc = RUN
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 01:17 AM
30

"Harmless psychological fun" I'm sorry but when is fucking with someone psychologically ever harmless? What the actual fuck?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:49 AM
6

It's also just another opportunity for them to have their ego stroked because they can see that they are still having an emotional impact on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 12:21 AM
4

Sounds like narcissistic behavior to me. Especially him constantly seeking out other women. A narcissist always has to have a supply to feed their fragile ego. A narcissist will do what he has to in the beginning to get you hooked. Once you are, they cease to put forth much more effort after that. It's always a cycle of love bombing in the beginning, followed by devaluation and finally they discard you when they have no more use of you. Then they move on to their next supply and start the cycle …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 10:55 PM
11

I just wanna say that I totally empathize with you. I'm going through a very similar situation and I feel like I would have been a lot further along by now with the moving on process if I could go out and do things with friends. I've just been taking this quarantine time to do a lot of self reflection and leveling up. If you haven't already, I would suggest checking out r/FemaleLevelUpStrategy. Personally, I've been trying to surround myself with positive subreddits such as this one, as well as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:56 AM
30

What about intentionally withholding compliments and/or attention to create a sense of urgency or insecurity? The last narcissistic LVM I was involved with did this, and feel like this is definitely something a narcissist would do, but could it also be a PUA strategy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:20 AM
9

I don't even know where to begin with all this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 07:09 AM
76

💯 I owe so much to this wonderful sub for helping me change my mindset and for providing a safe space!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:31 AM
27

Legit had a guy acquaintance who was complaining about why no women would talk to him on dating apps. He rated himself a 7/10. He said, and I quote, "I have a dad bod so I feel like the women should be flocking to me". Lmao since when is it desirable to put literally no effort into your health or appearance? Edit: grammar
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 10:31 PM
7

The last LVM I was involved with always used those kinds of excuses. He was always "in a bad place", "in a funk lately", or "just out of it". And he used those excuses for months. He blamed the death of his cat as the reason why, and his cat died a year ago. I felt like he used that excuse with me because he knew I would look like an ass if I had any sort of rebuttal. But I had a stepdad die of cancer a year and a half ago and while it was painful, it certainly didn't inhibit my life or my attit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 09:39 PM
12

Agreed. A commitment I would not have been able to maintain. I rationalized it away in my head just like I did with all the red flags he displayed. I've definitely had a huge mindset shift since then and never again will I compromise my own identity for someone else. Edit: spelling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 05:55 AM
78

Spent hours playing Call of Duty (I hate shooting games) to impress him Considered becoming a vegan because he was one Started posting social media content that I thought he would like, just so I could get him to interact with my posts Started playing a card decks game for couples with him so that I could connect with him, because he never asked me any questions about myself Made plans to pay for my own plane ticket to see him Literally wasted hours of my time listening to his Twitch stream so t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 05:35 AM
4

Thank you! I am so much happier now that I am focusing on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 02:34 AM
5

I just want to echo blissandblossom's comment about LVM = narcissistic abuse. The LVM I was seeing up until recently would always pull these narcissistic tactics whenever I would bring up an issue. These are just a few of the things: I was told I was too pushy/demanding when I brought up the issue of him not spending enough time with me. He gaslighted me, and pretended to not know what I was talking about. Or he would start making excuses/bringing up his own problems in an attempt to distract me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:49 PM
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