SteelAndStardust Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	It’s not romantic or altruistic to desire people who simply have the most objectively good personality traits. It’s romantic when you like people with MATCHING personality traits. Yeah I'd also get frustrated if people denied reactive desire. It's simply less common for women to get chemically aroused just by looking at a guy. E.g., I don't feel any urge to commit sex acts with men I see around me. I can appreciate an aesthetic, but that's about it. A guy friend told me he walks around all day with a little devil on his shoulder whispering "bang the pretty one!" in his ear. I was flabbergasted. But guys seem to hate the idea that in more cases than not, their woman won't …	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/03/25 08:16 PM
1	It’s not romantic or altruistic to desire people who simply have the most objectively good personality traits. It’s romantic when you like people with MATCHING personality traits. Now, about the introvert/extrovert thing. You say it's about the introvert getting a convenient, perfect life from their extrovert partner, and that it's pragmatic and so unromantic/not true love. So in my comment, note that they fell in love (Cupid's bow stuff, couldn't help it) and it wasn't easy. They're opposites. They had to make sacrifices to stay together. Believe me, for an introvert to go to a group gathering regularly... not convenient. Not fun. They have to damn well love that extrove…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/25 05:23 PM
1	It’s not romantic or altruistic to desire people who simply have the most objectively good personality traits. It’s romantic when you like people with MATCHING personality traits. To your comment: Reddit people on forums like these... I look at what they post and I'm like, oh buddy. (Women and men). So much gendered hostility. So many generalisations. Don't listen to the Reddit women and men who spew this stuff, please. This stuff is not okay. I think it's quite true that on average, men and women's sexuality is different (I also think it varies wildly within each sex). I want to postulate that a part of your beef may have to do with a relative societal judgement of men's…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/25 05:22 PM
1	It’s not romantic or altruistic to desire people who simply have the most objectively good personality traits. It’s romantic when you like people with MATCHING personality traits. Damn, observant! I only got my autism diagnosis last year and most people still don't believe it (including myself sometimes). Yeah, really open and detailed communication is one of my most essential traits. It seems like you're pretty similar in that aspect -- are you neurodivergent? I do not know Aella, but she sounds interesting! Honestly, I just wandered into this forum and was really shocked by the way people generalise negative behaviours in the opposite sex, both ways, when I've barely ev…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/25 05:21 PM
–	Ideologies turn young women obnouxious as a way to isolate them. If you have a specific problem with vegans, I've met plenty of vegans and got good long-term friends who are vegans. Never had any beef with any of them. They even bring their own "backup" food to restaurants if they're worried they can't get an option they can eat. I've never seen a person in my entire life throw a plate of food in a public place, or even a cup of coffee, or even an empty coffee cup, in real life. Seen someone properly lose their shit in public maybe a handful of times (mostly …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/25 02:46 PM
–	Ideologies turn young women obnouxious as a way to isolate them. Media shows a weird worldview. It's an utter radicalised misrepresentation of real life. Representation on media is driven entirely by what gets most views/interaction out of the viewing audience. What you see online often is real, but it's extreme stuff, man. Stuff that's so sensational that people look at it and comment on it. Go out there and spend your life with real people! Real life is way more vanilla and easy-going. It does come across as boring, though. If you were to record everyone's …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/25 12:59 PM
–	It's perfectly valid for inexperienced men to feel insecure about their sexual performance while dating a much more experienced women, as society constantly puts the burden of good sex on men. Oh, I've heard so much opposite-sex sex criticism on both sides! He's small -- she's loose He can't get it up -- she's bone dry, must be frigid He doesn't last -- she's a chore to get off The critiques seem to go both ways. For inexperienced women, it's also perfectly natural to be anxious about if they'll live up to a more experienced partner's standards. Here's an example insecure thought process for an inexperienced woman going towards sex with a more experienced man (err, speaking hypothetic…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/02/25 07:15 AM
1	It’s not romantic or altruistic to desire people who simply have the most objectively good personality traits. It’s romantic when you like people with MATCHING personality traits. Okay onto your actual reply comment. First point understood, thank you! Quick note, I'm guessing you're specifying women because you've got beef (no shade!), and I wanna argue that this point of discussion applies to everyone. TBH, I don't know anyone IRL who thinks the way you describe, but my life and the people around me are super wholesome, so I'm assuming there are some dicks out there, and they may be concentrated in certain places, like on dating apps, bars/clubs, or certain toxic college…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/25 09:01 PM
1	It’s not romantic or altruistic to desire people who simply have the most objectively good personality traits. It’s romantic when you like people with MATCHING personality traits. Thank you for clarifying! I'm loving this conversation; it really speaks to me. It's got me thinking about the definition of what romance is as a whole, because that's so central to your point. The theatric/playwright's definition involves people giving up anything and everything for love, like Romeo and Juliet dying for love, and those movie scenes where a guy is running desperately through an airport trying to find his beloved before she flies away, because he realised he can't live without he…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/25 09:00 PM
1	It’s not romantic or altruistic to desire people who simply have the most objectively good personality traits. It’s romantic when you like people with MATCHING personality traits. OP, you're talking about two different things in the title and the description. Personality traits as you've noted in the title could include a great sense of humour, or adventurousness, or introversion. The stuff you're talking about in the description is about hobbies and careers. Can you clarify what you mean? I'd like to contribute that if we're talking about personality traits, most personality traits aren't objectively good, and their interaction with other personality traits in the same p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/25 06:16 PM
1	I’ll Answer the “Why Don’t Men Read Our Profiles?” Question. Yeah, I'd say then delete the app and try a different way to get girls, cos it's not working. Doesn't that make sense?	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/25 05:23 PM
–	What are some genuine physical requirements do you think women care about when it comes to het dating ? I'd argue the hottest leverage is getting the girl DESPITE not being her usual preference. Like, when I met my now-husband, he was not what I would have thought of as objectively pretty. Broken nose, skew teeth, not fully clear skin, did 0 exercise, dressed in a T-shirt and oversized, bleached shorts. But when he arrived on the scene, he put a hand on so many shoulders, gave genuine warm smiles and waves to nearly everyone in the room, took someone's stuff with a "let me get that for you", and g…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/02/25 05:49 AM
–	What are some genuine physical requirements do you think women care about when it comes to het dating ? It's important to state that there is a big difference between casual preferences and the non-negotiables. Like, stuff that I prefer include guys with kind eyes, clear skin, a good natural smell/hygiene, and a healthy, active body (If you're into recreational endurance sports, your lean body is attractive. If you're into heavier stuff, your bulk is attractive. I've found myself physically attracted to both those looks and the average guy with a hint of deltoids and biceps, but not so much the ae…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/25 06:41 PM
–	Women in this subreddit are always confused about 'high standards'. Absolutely, women are entitled to their preferences—no argument there. But entitlement to a preference doesn’t mean that preference is immune to criticism. If someone dismisses potential partners based on the types of criteria discussed, that’s their prerogative—but it’s also a bit of a dick move. And if they get called out for it, that shouldn’t come as a surprise. People are free to have whatever standards they want, but they’re not free from the social consequences of those standards.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/25 02:03 PM
–	Women in this subreddit are always confused about 'high standards'. I'd say preferences are fine to have, like, people are attracted to what they're attracted to, right? But giving a guy zero chance because he doesn't match certain stupid benchmarks/standards ain't right. I think the following standards specifically are disingenuous: Penis size. (Beyond the extremes, really a stupid standard. More important is sexual compatibility. Four inches + matching preferences and energies > an unskilled long schlong every. single. time.) Height. (FFS, really? The guys I'v…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/25 11:42 AM
3	Why do you all seem to take people’s word at face value instead of accepting that our subconscious wants to protect our self-image as good person, and therefore people tend to say what makes them seem like good people? Long answer: To determine which sex is more unaware of their preferences, we need to compare the stated preferences (self-reported importance) and revealed preferences (actual influence in partner choice) for men and women. Key Indicators of Unawareness: Large discrepancies between stated and revealed preferences (highly ranked in one but low in the other). Strong revealed preferences for traits ranked low in stated preferences (suggesting subconscious biases). Overestimation of traits that have…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/02/25 10:52 PM