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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

FundamentalsStephenDawg/r/seduction10/06/22 04:52 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I think I do okay... I wasn't asking as a clueless amateur...I was asking to keep developing. I respect your answer though.
/r/seduction10/06/22 06:06 PM
0

I can't tell if you're intentionally trying to give bad advice... I've never had this problem of "over validating" - which is easier to do on a direct approach anyway. Secondly, are you not calibrating to responses and feedback? I go right into rapport and escalation - which is easy to do if she's immediately comfortable and knows your intention - you don't always have to state it plainly. Again, this is very different than traditional indirect where someone asks an inane question like "what tim…
/r/seduction10/06/22 05:24 PM
2

If you want something to happen, I would escalate quickly. She likes, and is open to, excitement. Don't expect it to mean anything to her afterwards, but she sounds game to me. But it almost sounds like you think the way to pull something is to orbit around girls... I'm not sure what you're doing hanging out passively in that group.
/r/seduction10/06/22 02:43 PM
0

I don't buy that it's a waste of time if your intent is known - which is what I'm talking about. I could have changed the words from "What are you studying?" to "What are we studying?". The point is: no where was anything like "That looks nice on you" said, but your attraction and confidence have been communicated and you slip right into rapport. It's so powerful it could be called assumed rapport - but that's a whole 'nother conversation. What I'm talking about is entirely different from openin…
/r/seduction10/06/22 10:15 AM
4

Wrong You took two extreme examples and left out all of the "ok" to "kind of attractive" guys. Just the way your vibe is not static and can determine whether you're hot or not, so can your clothes. The problem with most guys is not that they're hideous. It's that they're bland or have no "it" factor about them whatsoever.
/r/seduction17/11/20 09:00 PM
6

There's a lot of truth to this... no doubt. But clothes can absolutely take some guys from whatever to attention magnets. That's for sure.
/r/seduction17/11/20 08:58 PM
0

It's the quality of the energy and who it's coming from. Women are inundated with attention from most men, and most men are not attractive - both in absolute terms and relative to other men who give them attention. Women want attention from men they find attractive. Sometimes the energy fulfills both roles and acts as the attention and the impetus for their attraction. But usually, it's just attention at women who don't desire them.
/r/seduction17/11/20 08:52 PM
1

Can you elaborate on chaotic energy? This resonates with me.
/r/seduction17/11/20 08:48 PM
12

Tightness. A lot of guys stiffen up and falsely think they're projecting confidence. You want to be projecting "relaxed" as much as anything, and that kind of fake confidence usually looks anything but - it's easy for the guy not to realize this.
/r/seduction15/11/20 11:50 PM
2

What situation are you thinking about cold approaching in?
/r/seduction14/11/20 09:30 PM
1

Once you hit your later 20s you're no longer like the other 22 year old guys at their college - if you do the right things reasonably well, they start tripping over themselves for that.
/r/seduction09/11/20 01:23 AM
3

Stop doing weird shit. If you say you're going to do something with her, then do it. It's not that complicated. You've had chances. You're complicating your own situation and then complaining about it.
/r/seduction09/11/20 01:19 AM
2

You might need a male therapist. Even if the guy says the same thing, he might understand it from a fundamentally different place, as he's more likely to have tread some of this same ground, personally. I also don't think asking "why" you want that is necessarily an admonition. Although, truthfully, I'd be more inclined to suspect it is than isn't. Still, there might be some valid insights about escaping your unhappiness by chasing highs, or placing too much validation outside of yourself, not h…
/r/seduction08/11/20 02:43 AM
3

I think you're missing the self-selecting aspect of going out to bars and clubs. People who are going out to bars and clubs usually expect and want to interact socially. People who are going to work can't avoid going outside.
/r/seduction08/11/20 02:34 AM
1

This is a catch-22 because the problem is that you want certainty. You can't truly be investing less if you want certainty. You sound very invested, and it's likely showing.
/r/seduction08/11/20 02:30 AM
16

This. It's hard to say what your guy friend was referring to. People self reporting things like this, and asking advice, often have a way of phrasing things in the most favorable light for themselves - and so getting the answer they want.
/r/seduction07/11/20 02:32 AM
1

I don't disagree that getting IOIs and acting on them are two different things. But I bring it up because if you're getting them you're already ahead of a lot of guys; and because you don't sound clueless. It identifies the bridge you have to gap. Before I got very comfortable, my first IOIs were like you described. Now they include plenty of women who are by themselves, or with other women. Maybe there's a threshold of interest or comfort that the guy has to pass. Because it started that way bu…
/r/seduction05/11/20 05:20 PM
1

Women can come to you if you work on practicing attractive qualities. This sht has happened to me while eating, for fck sake - and I'm not Henry Cavill. I actually find meeting women can be easier for me when I'm alone. Learn how to look comfortable with what you're doing. If you have a sense of style, appear relaxed and comfortable, and have decent proportions you should at the very least be getting IOIs. If you're not, reevaluate.
/r/seduction05/11/20 11:56 AM
12

Nobody likes being interviewed - it's not just girls. You have a conversation. You give your opinion, you tell stories - questions are only a part of it. I can't stand when people think a series of one-sided questions is how you have a conversation. If you're interesting they'll be interested in what you have to say as well.
/r/seduction28/10/20 05:41 AM
3

For me, it's all about clothes. I think I do equally well with different cuts and it's the clothes/style that's the most attractive part. The vibe is important too, and from personal experience, that can definitely change based on the cut. So it could also be the attitude that's bringing different crowds.
/r/seduction27/10/20 12:12 AM
1

I think asking, unless you're telegraphing flirtation in a very specific way, is a buzzkill. Flirt and act like she doesn't. If she wants you to know she will tell you. If you ask and she does, she might think better of fooling around with you even if she was going to... Act like whether she does or doesn't isn't relevant to you, and make her want you whatever her situation is. Let her decide what she wants to do with that. If one comes up incidentally it can even be good for you. 1) It gives yo…
/r/seduction17/10/20 06:06 AM
1

Fair enough, but I don't think "it's trying to be cool". That to me is an oversimplification. We're all in this sub for a purpose - we're trying to implement what is successful and make it who we are. That can just as easily be called "trying to be cool". Your answer misses the crux of my question. You might as well have said be yourself...
/r/seduction11/10/20 10:47 PM
1

Thanks for the reply. I had to delete the post. I'm not sure my question is being understood. I do alright. My question was about using "being cool" as a motivator and whether that's a problem or bad mindset. That said, in life, coming off that way to people isn't an issue for me. The question is simply whether that's a bad value.
/r/seduction11/10/20 09:44 PM
0

The downvote came first. That was a partial bump, but point taken. Again, my question is not "how to" be cool or "what is" cool. In life, the perception of being cool is not an issue. The question is about its validity as a motivator.
/r/seduction11/10/20 07:53 PM
-1

With all the garbage that gets asked, why the downvote for a legit question? I figure you fckers are the only ones who could give good advice to this.
/r/seduction11/10/20 07:42 PM
4

Or just say something to him. Personally, I find it unattractive when I know a woman wants my sh-t more than I want hers but is trying to play coy about it and expects me to make the move.
/r/seduction08/10/20 02:09 AM
7

He could have got a lot of ass for that.
/r/seduction05/10/20 09:42 PM
1

Yes, almost every time I'm flirting.
/r/seduction04/10/20 10:09 PM
18

Flirt - don't chat. More specifically, you can talk about things but keep up some tension. If you don't know how they feel about you, probe - use inuendo and attempt to get them to play along.
/r/seduction04/10/20 08:03 PM
2

Why do you run away? Why do you want to change it? Maybe you're running away because you know you get oneitis when it's more than a fling.
/r/seduction04/10/20 07:44 AM
1

I rarely bother with dating apps for this reason. Their only use is something quick and obvious. They have even less reason to be invested in you than you do in them.
/r/seduction04/10/20 03:12 AM
1

I agree that texting her late at night could be tricky. If it's too late - like 3am, it looks needy and you might miss her completely. I wouldn't do it right away, but I might probe at something like 11pm. Or if you're talking to her during the day, and he's coming and going or something like that, I might say text me when he's gone. You don't want her to get caught, and she'll be more interested if it feels naughty... hate to say it.
/r/seduction04/10/20 01:52 AM
2

Personally, I would probably have said nothing over "ok". I think "ok" runs the risk of making you look boring, or bothered.
/r/seduction04/10/20 01:32 AM
3

I would have said something like "Unblock me... maybe we can do something fun later". I don't like the "have fun" or the "ok". It's too easy to read that as butthurt. Even her "yeah" could be her being guilted. You both know why she texted you. Keep it intriguing.
/r/seduction04/10/20 01:26 AM
9

And I would stop thinking about it as luck. Don't internalize the situation, but recognize your hand in producing it. This also means you can change what you're doing to produce new results.
/r/seduction01/10/20 05:19 PM
1

I take some of your point but I think you're making some assumptions about what people actually feel like. In this case, how she actually feels. If someone is good looking, knows their worth and is authentic and not shallow, and knows what value they have, they can find someone who's charming and fun (with a great personality), who's also as good looking as them No one says they can't. But you're assuming she wants to be with someone else and if she doesn't then she has poor self-esteem. What ab…
/r/seduction01/10/20 01:18 AM
1

I immediately call bullshit on number 2 and didn't read 3. You don't have to have wealth or status to be with women hotter than you, and you don't have to neg - you just have to be charming and fun. And don't with the low self-esteem - how are we quantifying that, by virtue of her being hotter than you and being with you? Because it all sounds very circular and bogus to me. And what arbitrary person is deciding her worth (or anyone else's)?
/r/seduction30/09/20 10:00 PM
3

Don't do social media. Meet women in person that you meet outside - not through online dating. In a room with a limited amount of people, where you can showcase yourself, and where you're immediately accessible, you will be much more attractive.
/r/seduction30/09/20 01:36 AM
1

Stop doing that
/r/seduction29/09/20 01:56 AM
1

Are you sure there's a spark there to begin with? Something about your phrasing makes me suspicious. I wouldn't say anything unless I had something to say or an energy to bring. Having neither is a fastlane to becoming uninteresting.
/r/seduction26/09/20 10:57 PM
3

This is how clueless guys flirt, yes.
/r/seduction25/09/20 08:08 PM
1

I would probably just say something like "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. We should do something".
/r/seduction23/09/20 08:20 PM
3

Some guys have it telegraphed all f*cking over them - so it's not as simple as you make it sound.
/r/seduction20/09/20 09:13 AM
1

Have a plan. Leave the door open for her to make flirty comments about something you said, and make flirty comments about something she said - see if she bites and escalate. Entice her to bite. Bring up sh*t like just getting out the shower, the shower head, laying in bed, your new camera - anything. Like I said: entice.
/r/seduction20/09/20 12:50 AM
1

Y'all gave them a scare, but you'll never overtake Brazzers with those blurry-ass filters.
/r/seduction13/09/20 01:36 AM
2

Have good body language, feel like you're the sh"t, but be relaxed about it. Enjoy the environment, don't feel the need to talk if you have nothing to say. Learn some nonverbal flirtation/communication - things like lingering on someone an extra beat after they're done talking and someone else has picked it up. Being very direct also works for me too - saying things like "What is your name?" or "And what is your name" (I'll often even extend a handshake) almost like I should know their name alre…
/r/seduction12/09/20 12:22 AM
3

Yes, being attractive, fun, and interesting will get you attention. If she doesn't know you it's often easier to spark her imagination - so give her a reason to imagine about you.
/r/seduction10/09/20 09:32 PM
5

I don't do a lot of completely random approaches. But when I realized I could get the thought in my head that I wanted to have fun with someone who never showed me any sexual interest, and spark it from nothing, I knew I knew what I was doing.
/r/seduction06/09/20 07:05 PM
4

I disagree. Assuming you know how not to one-up, relating stories is an incredibly effective way to bond. I agree though that some people don't know how to do that.
/r/seduction04/09/20 04:47 PM
2

I wanted to add to my other comment somewhat along these lines. I was going to add: relate your stories to her stories, so that you build common ground and relate to each other. And ask her questions like "Do you ever feel like..." as a way to 1) lead into a story, 2) gauge where she might be at before diving into the deep end, and 3) make her feel like you're interested in what she has to say by seeking her perspective.
/r/seduction04/09/20 03:55 PM
2

It depends on how you talk about it. She doesn't want to hear a "I feel like a loser" sort of story, especially before you have that sort of intimacy together. But one can tell stories and remain distant enough from them so as not to come off like they're seeking advice or comfort while they tell them - this is probably what you should be aiming for when you tell vulnerable stories. If you can do that, and come off secure in yourself while you're opening up, that can be attractive. Don't tell st…
/r/seduction04/09/20 02:55 PM
1

If you're attractive and doing the right things, you'll generate some attention. If you're not going to cold approach your best bet will be to learn to pick up on IOIs, but the onus will still often fall on you to act on them. Contrary to what some guys will have you believe, if you're attractive, whether through looks, style, demeanor, or whatever, you will get some women to approach you. But even that is still an active process for you. Men can't reliably "wait for it to happen".
/r/seduction03/09/20 03:13 AM
1

I only sweat mine and my friends'. OP was asking for advice involving friends. You missed the entire point. Not to mention... what one should value is one of the most important questions one could ask.
/r/seduction10/08/20 02:20 AM
1

Yes, that's what discussion literally is. Maybe you've never read... I don't know... anything since ancient Greece. All they fucking did was discuss values of men. I agree, a difference if opinion isn't a big deal - but you've been straw-manning and moving the goal posts ever since you said "makes it clear" when OP never used those words. It hasn't stopped since, so I've addressed it.
/r/seduction10/08/20 02:13 AM
1

Because you posted them to a public forum where the implication is discussion. Since you invoked it, one could easily say "what men do" is cooperate with their tribe. This isn't a question of personal values, it's values as it relates to being a good wingman and friend. This "it's just pussy" works just as well the other way. Why fuck with friendship over it. If it's just pussy then let it go.
/r/seduction10/08/20 02:05 AM
1

Speaking your mind isn't the problem. It's values.
/r/seduction10/08/20 01:07 AM
1

Saying "relax" sounds like a great way to be an asshole and write it off as some else's problem.
/r/seduction10/08/20 01:04 AM
1

You clearly don't know how to listen. Who is determining what failure is here? You sound like a shitty ass wingman.
/r/seduction10/08/20 12:21 AM
1

Like I said, one person will be motivated to see it as failure if he's interested in the woman. What constitutes failure, exactly? Unless you have some clarity you're going to have friction. The issue isn't women, the issue is your friendship.
/r/seduction10/08/20 12:13 AM
1

Did he say "makes it clear"? No, he didn't. And as long as there is still uncertainty about this, and there often is, each guy is going to be motivated to see it his way. That's why you need to clear this up beforehand. In some venues it's easier to play a long game and there's an ebb and flow to the game you and her might be playing.
/r/seduction09/08/20 11:25 PM
14

You need to negotiate this type of thing beforehand. One guy may think it was a strikeout while the other still thinks he had a shot.
/r/seduction09/08/20 08:05 PM
2

IME if you don't want to have sex and she does, women will think you're scared, impotent, or not into her/women. As a guy, you never get to have a good reason...
/r/seduction05/08/20 09:47 PM
3

No. I think she likes you but sees this as a fuck buddy situation. There's no reason why fuck buddies can't have an intimate connection and really like each other, but that doesn't mean it's material for a relationship. If that's going to happen, let it happen. But I think if you push in that direction she's going to lose her attraction to you. This is fun now because it's all still fantasy. There's no reason to make it "real" and ruin that. That's just my take. TLDR; don't get "serious" because…
/r/seduction03/08/20 02:09 PM
1

This is as much about how you say things as it is what you say. Smile, smirk, be animated with your tone and body language if the situation calls for it. You can get a devilish laughs out of her without even saying anything funny if you're being cute or charming.
/r/seduction31/07/20 07:25 AM
2

You need to be flirting and not asking direct questions. Make them attracted to you.
/r/seduction29/07/20 04:45 AM
2

I have confidence in my charm and ability to be playful and animated and get under her skin. I've outcompeted taller, bigger guys because of it.
/r/seduction28/07/20 03:03 PM
2

For starters, you're better off not saying anything than being boring or too friendly. This is not a small point. Too many guys think doing something is better than doing nothing - and this is not always the case...
/r/seduction28/07/20 12:12 AM
5

This depends on the situation and the pace of it, but I find nonverbal and subtle communication to be easier in large groups. Other people usually don't see it happening, and the game that develops is probably safe and exciting to her - there's a natural tension in it (and you aren't embarrassed around your friends or polite company). This is probably the best and most natural part of my game so I don't know how to describe it well, but the basics apply: have some style, be in decent shape, be r…
/r/seduction26/07/20 09:35 PM
14

I used to have terrible social anxiety, but this isn't a problem for me anymore. I didn't think I could ever get over it either and it wasn't until I was your age that I started to make progress. When I did start to make progress it crumbled very fast. This is some of what worked for me: I got into a routine of meditating every morning in a semi-quiet park. It was important to me that the park be quiet enough that I could find my meditation zone, but active enough that the occasional person woul…
/r/seduction26/07/20 05:20 AM
1

I think this is true too, and after the shine of the new thing wears off you'll come to distrust her.
/r/seduction26/07/20 03:23 AM
2

IMO you can't. You're something to do on the side and she likes it because it isn't serious. It's a distraction. At this point, I think that other commenter is right - the only way to advance it will be to tell her you want to see her - not because it's the moral thing to do even, but because she's not serious about you.
/r/seduction26/07/20 03:16 AM
2

I agree with this. I say go with what you feel, don't be scared, and don't feel a need to kiss ass or fawn - that doesn't change. Sometimes I compliment back but more often I'll just say thank you, with the knowledge that she's interested and I don't have to start being a try-hard. Sometimes I'll even ask "Really? (Or "Oh, thank you") Why do you say that?" depending on what the compliment is.
/r/seduction25/07/20 09:57 PM
4

I don't do a bunch of random approaching like that guy. IME I've been able to get that kind of attention out by myself, if I'm enjoying myself and the setting. I can usually get obvious looks, get approached, or get indicators of interest.
/r/seduction25/07/20 08:18 AM
9

Both. I'm sometimes approached, sometimes they give me very obvious looks, sometimes they give me subtler vibes - like suddenly standing right I'm front of me (maybe with her back turned) a few minutes after we'd noticed each other.
/r/seduction25/07/20 08:15 AM
99

1a) Let her think she noticed you first. 1b) And if you take care of your looks, and clothes, and look good, don't immediately scan when you go into a crowded club. They will notice you and you will see it and have options, or they may straight up approach you.
/r/seduction25/07/20 01:39 AM
2

Dress well, pay attention to body language, learn about indicators of interest.
/r/seduction24/07/20 12:22 AM
1

Also, don't delete friends because a girl tells you to. And don't tell your friends not to talk about your girl like that unless they're really crossing a line; if they're really your friends, assume they're looking out for you and consider what they have to say. You don't have to agree with them, but you should have respect for the input of your friends. Stop being so quick to please, have interests and feelings of your own - she won't respect you if you don't.
/r/seduction22/07/20 04:20 PM
5

I assume this is a sh*tpost. If it's not, you need to stop acting like a simp and grow a pair.
/r/seduction22/07/20 02:56 PM
2

Stop. Writing. Her. So. Much.
/r/seduction21/07/20 02:38 AM
1

Yeah, I wouldn't say it though. The book is old now and it's theoretical while it's still not directed at someone.
/r/seduction20/07/20 01:54 AM
2

I would say it's possible. My personal tact would be to flirt more subtly than I usually would, and first see if she picks up on it and flirts back. At this point I'm trying to get her to respond to something that could be interpreted as suggestive, or get her to think "Is he flirting with me?". From there I'd continue to get less subtle, but at some point if she doesn't respond to it, you're going to have to decide how forward you want to be considering whatever consequences it might have on yo…
/r/seduction20/07/20 01:38 AM
2

If it's blatant I would probably say something. If it's borderline, she probably won't cop to it and will just resent you as a bitch. That's my take on it. She may be talking to you because she has nothing better to do, but it may also be because she likes you. It's hard to say out of context. I knew a girl who did this so blatantly, and in context, it felt like sexual tension. The situation was different than what you describe because I was interested in her.
/r/seduction19/07/20 03:17 PM
5

No, I wouldn't say that. I think a girl can be too submissive/passive and docile to the point where it's boring... but that's a little different than her just being nice, or sweet etc.
/r/seduction18/07/20 07:41 PM
1

You don't know that she has a boyfriend, you only know that she didn't want to give you her number... I think you're kidding yourself if you think you didn't want something more than friendship. I would never say anything like "get to know you more" or call someone "wonderful".
/r/seduction18/07/20 02:06 AM
2

Harder to say what I want and to be subtle, but easier to be direct because I have to be but also because I feel less "connection" to the words. It's slightly impersonal.
/r/seduction17/07/20 10:47 PM
1

I don't have good advice because I'm not sure how he does it either, but I have a friend with this condition who is constantly getting into conversations with random people/women. I can generate attention and I'm sometimes approached, but I don't have the "approachable" and calm vibe that he has, and he's constantly disarming people immediately. I have to interact to do that. I've wondered what his secret is, but he's so chill that I don't think he could articulate one. Anyway, I just thought I'…
/r/seduction17/07/20 06:18 PM
3

Confidence and ease are attractive, not scanning the room for girls is attractive and also not intimidating. You're confusing things when you talk about flirting. It's not that emotions are a problem, it's that you were displaying the wrong ones. You were probably not flirting as much as you were being nice, from the sound of it.
/r/seduction16/07/20 11:35 PM
5

Personally? I dress well, work out enough to look good in clothes (still lazier than I could be but it's noticeable), keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say, stand up straight or with feet shoulder width apart, personal style but I sit knee over knee or lean in my chair and get that comfortable look, enjoy my surroundings, knowing how to look with interest but not necessarily making eye contact right after so as to play cat and mouse etc.
/r/seduction16/07/20 08:12 PM
1

I'm a guy and I rarely get re-attracted either. I would say the easiest way is probably to introduce something spicy, and that he likes, to your intimacy - if I'm being completely honest.
/r/seduction16/07/20 05:43 PM
14

I hate words like opportunity and phrases like "getting to know you better". I would approach this like I approach any kind of escalation. I would be coy, suggestive, and bring some kind of energy to it. If she doesn't think much of you you may be able to reset her expectation. But don't get mushy. To me, vulnerability is about telling about yourself, but without placing expectation - and it probably helps if she actually cares what you feel to begin with.
/r/seduction14/07/20 09:31 PM
3

I think most guys don't think a woman has to do anything but look or feel sexy to be attractive. Full stop. As for little things that guys like, I heard someone say once that women want to feel beautiful to their significant other and men want to feel thought of as cool or admired. Rightly or wrongly, there's probably a lot of truth to that.
/r/seduction13/07/20 01:34 AM
1

I think environments, social circle, and hobbies are huge for a person who doesn't make a lot of cold approaches. If you do the regular "taking care of yourself" things, and put yourself in better environments, you'll have more of a chance of being noticed and women will be more receptive because of the nature of the environments you've chosen. So clubs are going to be higher probability than the bus stop. Dancing class is going to be higher probability than the bus stop. Meetups or any place yo…
/r/seduction12/07/20 10:59 PM
1

I think it's a bad sign that she's this aggressively critical when she isn't with you. And even if she breaks up with her bf first, which you'd prefer her to do, wouldn't you still feel like she's fickle and could break up with you at a moment's notice too? For me personally, I wouldn't invest my feelings in her for those reasons. It's too risky.
/r/seduction11/07/20 06:23 PM
2

I think you're already being too forgiving and you're not even with her yet.
/r/seduction11/07/20 06:03 PM
14

Yeah, because it's your first I would say it is. I think this is the time where you learn how to reset expectations.
/r/seduction10/07/20 07:39 PM
3

Agree with this. If that's all you've done, you have to ask yourself how interested she is. If you're that interested, and she really is the slow type and not just disinterested, then make it official. Otherwise, you have no leg to stand on. You aren't together.
/r/seduction10/07/20 06:52 AM
6

He can't because they're not even together.
/r/seduction10/07/20 06:50 AM
7

Didn't 2 of these situations involve you rejecting them? Their reactions more or less sound like being defensive or embarrassed. The bar thing to me sounds like normal bar stuff.
/r/seduction09/07/20 09:04 PM
1

If you're kissing, touch her body. It's not rocket science.
/r/seduction08/07/20 05:13 PM
5

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. People often perceive what they don't have to be more valuable than what they do. Women often get a lot of attention. A man that doesn't need to give them attention implies he's getting attention too... ie. he's secure, or women find him appealing. The takeaway is don't be needy.
/r/seduction08/07/20 07:01 AM
2

You sound like a friend from this post alone. And why did you send a goofy pose? That's rhetorical... Edit: 5 minutes have passed and I'm honestly still cringing. I don't say that to be a d*ck, but this was a bad move.
/r/seduction07/07/20 10:54 PM
5

If you're that open with her why not ask her about meeting some of her friends, or getting a soft set up. She already knows you slept with a friend of hers, so it's not like she's going to get jealous. Just don't make it seem like that's the only reason you're around her, because that could put her off.
/r/seduction07/07/20 05:33 PM
2

You say you've taken zero action but if you've started dressing better and working out then that isn't true. Sure you could do more, but if this board inspired you to do that then you're already on your way.
/r/seduction07/07/20 11:27 AM
2

You can almost always assume that it's to attract attention. Now, attention from you is another story. Dress well. This is a big deal. Have a sense of personal style. You want to be attractive even before you open your mouth.
/r/seduction07/07/20 02:30 AM
6

I've gotten texts from even aloof girls, within 30 minutes of an experience, just saying how it was great to see me - or something to that effect. The meaning is understood and flattering.
/r/seduction07/07/20 02:27 AM
57

I liked when a girl just came up to me and said you're handsome, can I have your number?
/r/seduction06/07/20 05:29 PM
3

Most women, I'd guess, are probably still getting responded to even with "hey". I doubt that's true for guys. And guys writing longer messages probably only improve their chance of a response from any particular woman by very little.
/r/seduction05/07/20 02:58 AM
1

What are you posting? Were you being too familiar? Maybe she got bored. Did you make a move? Some women will get bored if you don't make a move and will even take it for cowardice.
/r/seduction05/07/20 01:28 AM
2

I didn't read all that. It sounds needy, and if you aren't exclusive then she can't cheat on you. You're also not having sex. We've all been there but you need to get your mind right.
/r/seduction03/07/20 08:34 AM
3

Let's make like animals, and get some herd immunity tonight.
/r/seduction02/07/20 08:59 PM
1

A number might be better; an Instagram might be easier to get. I don't think getting these and waiting is the worst way to go, but if she starts reaching out to you, your going to have a balancing act.
/r/seduction02/07/20 08:39 PM
5

No, you probably shouldn't...
/r/seduction02/07/20 08:36 PM
0

I wouldn't even contact her yet. I don't think you can stay mysterious over that much time through text.
/r/seduction02/07/20 08:31 PM
19

I would say you can... but you're probably going to be needy as f*ck or trying to hide that you are.
/r/seduction01/07/20 07:08 AM
1

Thirsty af though. Who is even outside?
/r/seduction01/07/20 04:25 AM
1

It would help if you mention timeframe. Are you talking about in the first convo, in the second meeting, a week later?
/r/seduction01/07/20 04:20 AM
3

Personally, I don't mind asking questions and it'll usually be a mix of questions and statements. I think it does give you strong frame and only doesn't if you're forcing something when she isn't interested. We've all seen those people who think asking a string of questions is a conversation.
/r/seduction01/07/20 03:10 AM
1

Some guys don't text first because they don't want to turn her off. Guys are not turned off if she texts first.
/r/seduction30/06/20 09:22 PM
1

David Buss and Gad Saad are both evolutionary psychologists who have written on the theoretical underpinnings. It's evolution is a lot of the argument. It's psychology and so largely theoretical. Matt Ridley is a journalist and wrote The Red Queen, which may be more interesting. I think his brother is also a biologist.
/r/seduction30/06/20 05:11 AM
1

I don't know why you wouldn't assume he's talking about attractive women of 20 vs attractive women of 30. That would seem to make the most sense.
/r/seduction29/06/20 08:11 AM
2

Have you not noticed a difference between the attractions of 20 year old and 30 year old women?
/r/seduction29/06/20 07:53 AM
1

What kind of interest in you, though? Long messages on IG isn't synonymous with attraction.
/r/seduction28/06/20 09:29 PM
6

I would say it's not proper good game then. If you're coming off threatening or too cocky and douchie then it should probably be adjusted to fix that, assuming that's what's hurting your success rate. That's just my take. It'd be like saying I'm really good but I don't win.
/r/seduction28/06/20 01:19 AM
9

With guy, it's probably a lot easier than you realize - to be perfectly honest.
/r/seduction28/06/20 12:44 AM
5

Who are these girls going to your room? Clearly you're doing something right, even if it's just your appearance. Especially in the case where she stands right in front of you, it's not that easy to mess up. She's already interested, she already wants to do something with you, all you'd really have to do is get closer and put your hands on her and she's probably going to escalate the situation too.
/r/seduction28/06/20 12:36 AM
2

Everytime I wear Timberlands, or even a new pair of sneakers without worn down soles (you'd be surprised how much height this removes) I feel almost self consciously tall - and I ain't all that tall..
/r/seduction27/06/20 11:39 PM
6

I think this comes down to mirroring. If she uses emojis, use some too.
/r/seduction27/06/20 09:44 PM
2

She might still be open to it, but you'll probably have to let her know you're interested.
/r/seduction27/06/20 07:51 PM
2

Helping doesn't mean she's interested in romance or sex. I think approaching her as a friend is a quick way to make a friend, but maybe not anything else.
/r/seduction27/06/20 07:44 PM
1

That's a little bit different. I don't have a strong opinion on that and you could probably get away with that.
/r/seduction27/06/20 01:28 PM
1

I think sex itself is an area where inability, or inexperience, is incredibly off-putting to women. I'd be careful about any suggestion of it being a while. They want to feel like you're a catch, not like no one else would take you.
/r/seduction27/06/20 01:21 PM
3

This is all my personal take, but if the extreme confidence is done tongue in cheek and done well, then I think it can be hard to "see through" because the whole thing is slightly absurd. It's equal parts confidence and being playful. Personally, I'm not afraid to be vulnerable and I think in the right contexts it can be attractive. Sexually, though, I probably would not say I was rusty. I can't see a context where that isn't either TMI or just plain unattractive. I think you could say I don't d…
/r/seduction27/06/20 03:19 AM
4

I don't think you can be this granular with this stuff. Everything effects everything else. If you're hot, your stupid words might be forgiven. If you're charming, your looks might be forgiven. There are too many variables, and there's never an "all things being equal" situation. You work on everything, and occasionally one part of your work will compensate for another. Generally, it boils down to you weren't attractive. If you never opened your mouth and she's disinterested, then it's physical.…
/r/seduction25/06/20 02:24 PM
3

I don't think that, but I think the nuance is going to be lost. I definitely agree that some people do think as you describe.
/r/seduction24/06/20 09:40 PM
1

Nice strawman. Did I say any of that? Did you suggest that was the false dichotomy you were drawing up? We have two very different ideas of what being interesting means.
/r/seduction24/06/20 08:17 PM
3

I agree, but that situation doesn't just spontaneously arise without attraction. I think the million dollar question is always where then is that attraction coming from, initially?
/r/seduction24/06/20 07:30 PM
2

I'm going to very strongly disagree with that. And I do make a distinction between courting and friendships. I don't think the same dynamics drive them.
/r/seduction24/06/20 07:20 PM
4

I have definitely met women who are initiators, but even then it's usually more like giving the "greenlight". They still expect you to close the gap. The most aggressive women I've met have been older women, and it's still been rare.
/r/seduction24/06/20 07:18 PM
4

The fact that many women are waiting for it to happen when it happens, meaning the onus is on you to be interesting and active. Also, your question is kind of unclear.
/r/seduction24/06/20 07:05 PM
3

Absolutely any way. I don't know why you're overthinking.
/r/seduction23/06/20 02:51 AM
1

Chances are you are coming off needy and unattractive to her right now.
/r/seduction20/06/20 05:58 PM
3

Yes, I would say this. Online it's mostly physical attraction, and you're immediately competing with dozens if not hundreds of other guys. No real world setting confines you in both those ways.
/r/seduction20/06/20 04:18 PM
2

2 seconds isn't incredibly long, and if you already know her it could just be familiarity. But I tend to see this as neutral to slight interest. This happens to me too. When it's with women I know, I think it may be a mild interest but I don't necessarily think it means they want to act on it (though it may be enough to let you know you could work it under the right conditions, it isn't a red carpet). With women I don't know, I think this is a better IOI, but in slow environments I'll usually lo…
/r/seduction19/06/20 12:35 PM
2

Yes. This has even happened to me a few times with married women or women with boyfriends and it feels like I was let in on a secret. It feels like we accidentally gave it away...
/r/seduction18/06/20 08:19 PM
12

In my experience when women look away because of disinterest it's usually obvious. In a scenario where you're already looking at her when she looks at you, most of the time she will look away. The meaning is usually conveyed in the body language - did she roll her eyes, get very physically uncomfortable, or were her reactions more subdued and did she start returning stares after reflexively looking away? You got to get better at reading body language and IOIs. Generally, if you catch her staring…
/r/seduction18/06/20 11:54 AM
1

It sounds like it was a pretty sh-tty effort. Most girls aren't going to show interest when you're f-cking that up.
/r/seduction14/06/20 08:15 AM
1

Friends to hook up with or friends to meet people through? I wonder if that's unclear to anyone else.
/r/seduction14/06/20 06:28 AM
1

Turn that mask into some Eyes Wide Shut roleplay
/r/seduction13/06/20 09:26 AM
1

Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, my take is that that's about focusing on yourself so you don't need to rely on false bravado and scripts and obsessing over p*ssy. In that way it's basically inner game.
/r/seduction11/06/20 08:26 AM
2

Those aren't mutually exclusive. A guy could work at Intel and still play guitar or paint.
/r/seduction08/06/20 04:22 AM
1

Soft, scared to make a move. If she likes you, that can make you look like a waste of time or just plain scared.
/r/seduction06/06/20 05:38 PM
2

In my experience, yes, they will just ignore you. Don't expect a reason or for them to tell you off. They will usually just ignore you. A conversation can seem fun but actually feel boring, or like an obligation, or just plain fake. I would make a move quicker. You very well could be coming off weak.
/r/seduction06/06/20 05:35 PM
1

I relate to much of what you've said. I often find myself in the position of someone who relates to the women he's attracted to, but who is also able to generate sparks and escalate quickly. This has put me in the position of hearing women say they're looking for fun and having to adjust the range of my expectations accordingly (this probably isn't something I ask directly, and to be fair, I've also heard that I give off the impression that I'm just looking for fun, even if the truth is more com…
/r/seduction21/05/20 05:25 AM
1

I think that's a valid concern. If it's done well, no. But there is some amount of "feel" that goes into some of this. I don't want to give advice that's too hard to be helpful right now.
/r/seduction21/05/20 05:15 AM
2

An easy way to not be "too polite" is just to react less. What a lot of people think of as politeness is really just kowtowing and genuflecting - and that is unattractive. But I think it's important to understand that a person can be kind and polite and still exude strength and confidence - sometimes this detail is lost.
/r/seduction21/05/20 05:01 AM
1

I think you're on the right track. I think saying you're not looking for anything serious (I would probably say I'm not looking to get too serious), or saying you just want to have fun or are just looking to have fun (I've had a few women phrase it this way to me - calling it simply "fun") makes sense and is still effective.
/r/seduction21/05/20 04:42 AM
2

I think camp A needs to analyze why they're getting bad responses. And camp B might need to work on their mentality (feeling calmer etc. - often called inner game) as much as what I think you suggest (learning and internalizing specific advice for navigating scenarios).
/r/seduction19/05/20 06:59 PM
11

I'm no expert and not well versed in "game" per se, but the first thing that struck me was the assumption that a guy who likes to get with women isn't interested in her pleasure. That's a reach and there's no reason to connect those things. Maybe he likes to get with women because he likes having his head between her legs - you simply can't assume what he likes. Secondly, I don't think the goal for a lot of guys is to sleep with women within their social circles like that, and there are plenty o…
/r/seduction18/05/20 12:42 AM
1

I'd question what "all the signs" were. It seems like you read them wrong. Personally, I think if you're escalating well, you probably shouldn't be getting this wrong. And perhaps an unpopular opinion: but I think if you're escalating well you probably don't even have to initiate the kiss yourself...
/r/seduction17/05/20 02:45 AM
2

Absolutely this. The spark can be something you decide to create, and in full agreement with this poster, it won't work all the time but a lot of this is in your hands - don't buy into this meant to be stuff. To me, it's akin to an athlete saying "F*ck this, we're winning this game" and turning something on. I've generated things with people and acquaintances from no where, simply because I felt like I wanted to make something happen that night. Maybe to her that meant meant to be, but to me, I …
/r/seduction17/05/20 01:42 AM
6

Nah... a Cocker Spaniel bit me once.
/r/seduction16/05/20 10:45 AM
2

Wait till you're in your 30s and 40s...
/r/seduction16/05/20 03:10 AM
1

Ay, these other posters might be right. But for some flavor: You don't mention who is paying for this. Is she paying for herself, as this is, so far, a platonic relationship? If she's paying her way and you want to go on a trip, I say take her up on it. A friend once told me, and I don't know how true it is, that if you go on a trip with someone... some sh** is going to happen... Cautious optimism.
/r/seduction16/05/20 01:45 AM
1

Well, guess you're gonna have to suck it up and date her.
/r/seduction16/05/20 01:34 AM
2

This may not be applicable and I don't know if you're just friends/acquaintances to her, but one thing that worked for me in the past with these types of distant/unemotional acquaintanceships - where I thought I had little chance of generating attraction - was to stop contacting for a while. And then upon reconnecting, pursuing boldly. It's easier to wipe the slate clean, and to be exciting and force a reassessment, when you've been away for a while.
/r/seduction16/05/20 01:12 AM
2

I have YouTube Premium and it's cost me a chance to see this ass spanking?
/r/seduction15/05/20 05:55 AM
1

Yes and no. "No" because you'll probably still have nerves until you get comfortable doing it in real life. "Yes" because now you know first-hand that a lot of girls you might not have expected to be down are actually willing to get down when you have the right approach.
/r/seduction14/05/20 07:14 AM
2

Were you flirting with her? If you were flirting and letting your interest be known, and she was reciprocating, then the friendzone wouldn't have been on my mind.
/r/seduction14/05/20 06:30 AM
2

If you don't have to see her again (she doesn't go to your school or work) and you don't mind not seeing her again, then I say go for it. It might be that you have no chemistry personality-wise, but you're both attracted to each other.
/r/seduction14/05/20 01:53 AM
1

Amy Schumer is taller than Scarlett Johansson... And I don't mean examples like that one. My point is that the difference between Scarlett Johansson/Natalie Portman (short) and Anne Hathaway/Taylor Swift (tall) is going to be very subjective and feel like strictly preference to the naked eye. It might be that you're right and there are some underlying common dimensions or symmetry to those tall faces, but without that information I don't think it can be objective. Though as I say, it could still…
/r/seduction14/05/20 12:29 AM
1

There's no way to objectively measure this. Conventional attractiveness is a broad term that doesn't have strict parameters. You'd have to conduct polls and measure facial dimensions if you want to call this "objective". I'm not saying you're wrong (it's something I'm going to think about now that you've mentioned it) but your insistence that this is inarguable is.
/r/seduction14/05/20 12:04 AM
1

Maybe But my gut is this depends on what you're attracted to.
/r/seduction13/05/20 11:53 PM
1

It depends on the situation, but sometimes I look for her to look at me repeatedly, or for her to already be looking at me when I look at her - I find that some girls are more receptive/attracted if they think they noticed you first.
/r/seduction13/05/20 11:48 PM
1

You hit the nail on the head. It sells because the masses of men are relating to it, and women can buy into the fantasy that this high-value celebrity could fall in love with them. Most of these celebrities are not living the needy lifestyle they sell in their songs.
/r/seduction13/05/20 11:19 PM
1

Maybe your attitude and energy are off. Maybe you're out of shape. I can't answer that for you - but it's not a joke. Maybe those compliments are icebreakers and you're missing them. Sometimes the line between a lot and nothing is incredibly thin, and when you're on the wrong side of it it feels like there's a lot more work to be done and small improvements will lead to small gains - and then you grind this process out. But some improvements don't lead to linear gains but exponential ones.
/r/seduction13/05/20 10:25 PM
2

Then you're doing it wrong. If you're dressing stylish and looking put-together women will notice and gravitate - no matter where you're at. Then put yourself in situations where they're already likely to be responsive. You don't need a bullhorn to get attention - but you have to project yourself.
/r/seduction13/05/20 06:15 PM
4

Dress better, look good, and go places.
/r/seduction13/05/20 06:05 PM
1

Well, you didn't overcome it - you got distracted.
/r/seduction13/05/20 06:03 PM
1

I'm in a similar situation. I think long texts can be energy consuming and she may not want to write a bunch of them even if she likes texting you. Still, some nights I find myself wondering "Is it because she has someone over?".
/r/seduction13/05/20 06:05 AM
0

This sounds friendzone-like to me too but it's impossible to say without more details.
/r/seduction13/05/20 05:50 AM
2

If she's cute and has a relaxed but fun energy when interacting, and/or she's funny or quick witted I'm going to crush hard.
/r/seduction10/05/20 05:31 AM
2

Bring energy. If her energy changes or she's matching yours then you're flirting. Body language is important too. If she points her body in your direction or looks at you everytime you open your mouth, then you've got something going on.
/r/seduction27/04/20 08:53 PM
3

Like a lot of things, it's counterintuitive. I try to get into a space and spend some time enjoying the environment - trying to literally forget there are women there. This has lead to women approaching me, and it's a strategy I only recently discovered. Often times I find women will find me if I don't scan and look for them, etc. If I can relax, and enjoy being where I am, then after a time I can look around and notice that I'm being noticed - or just have women plain walk up to me. This also m…
/r/seduction16/12/19 12:33 AM
1

I get friendzoned whenever I do the "trying to get to know", so I would escalate quickly depending on the kind of momentum you've already built.
/r/seduction09/12/19 03:36 PM
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