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StillWatersLily Archive

View 0 posts and 28 comments by StillWatersLily on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I think the percentages generally make sense, but the editorilazation of "how delusional" you are based on that percentage is what's silly. Put in literally no requirements on height, age, weight, income, etc and just select for men who aren't married. Does the level of delusion that it calculates make sense? Is it at all delusional to expect a man to be single if you have absolutely no other requirements? If I say I want someone not obese and not married between ages 18 and 26, it says I'm less…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 06:55 PM
2

Yeah sometimes I wonder if they're encouraging or even creating some of the controversy themselves. After all, nothing drives engagement and feeds the algorithm like controversy. "There's no such thing as bad publicity." They're influencers and they want to make money, and the quickest way to drive up views is to stir the pot.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/23 01:20 PM
4

That's so true. I've heard the occasional snide comment on the SAHM vs working mom or homeschool vs public school debates in real life, but the vast majority of the drama lives online and is really easy to avoid.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/23 07:31 PM
11

Yes, this exactly. I can imagine that many people would look at my life and consider me a "tradwife" but I'm not interested in calling myself that because I don't want to spend any energy defending myself against this type of argument. I don't need to make a pop-culture label part of my identity.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/23 07:18 PM
9

It was hard when I first saw those very undeniable signs of aging. My first white hair was an emotional challenge. But I frankly love the decreased sexual attention. I love that there's less pressure to look a certain way. I love that the men (and women) in my life are guaranteed to be interested in more than my appearance. I'm more comfortable in my own skin because I'm not constantly in the spotlight of other people's vision or attention.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/23 11:38 PM
1

Thanks! I added it to my ever-growing list of books I'd like to read.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/23 11:26 PM
4

I completely agree! All the values and expectations you pick up whether implicitly or maybe even explicitly taught play such a huge role. Money has a part in it, sure, but it's way more than just money. I think people try to downplay class differences, especially in America, but once I started seeing those trends, I could see it more and more. And I really liked the book too. I'm in my late 30s and some of the references, especially political, were a bit dated for me to fully understand. I'd lov…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/23 03:02 PM
12

So in my opinion, it depends of course on the person, but also on social class. I read the book Class by Paul Fussell a couple years ago and while it's quite dated and fairly tongue in cheek, it does a good job at highlighting some of the inherent differences in attitudes by social class, which isn't the same as income. I would guess that your hypothetical man would choose the supermodel if he were originally from a "lower" class and would choose the woman with the similar class and educational …
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/23 12:44 PM
3

I'm not that old, although still older than most here it seems. I don't think this directly answers your question, but I remeber reading the (Christian) book Loving Him Well, previously titled Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas and it talked a bit about the changes in men and marriage relationships as men age and their hormones change. I bookmarked it in my brain to give it a reread in another 5 or 10 years when it's more immediately relevant for me. I do think it's a really interesting topic in me…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 08:26 PM
37

Yes. I think TRP has overlooked many of the differences in social class/income level. (Divorce incentives is another that comes to mind) I can speak most to college educated, middle to upper middle class, and most men may not care if a woman is a lawyer vs an engineer with only a bachelor's, or a doctor vs a teacher or whatever. But by and large they aren't marrying women who skipped college or women who are working a dead end retail job. There's still a floor of a certain educational or career …
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/23 01:58 PM
1

Thanks for sharing your train of thought. I always like understanding where people are coming from when they land at a different conclusion than I do. It's funny because I agree with you that the joke doesn't seem terribly respectful to me, but I had decided that if respect can only be judged in the context of a relationship, and if it was possible for this to not be disrespectful within a certain relationship, and if I wouldn't allow any random person to define whether I'm being respectful, the…
/r/RedPillWives02/12/22 03:16 PM
1

Hmm. I've never considered it to be an inherently disrespectful joke, so I'm just considering this angle for the first time. In my marriage, the context matters. There are ways I could make this joke that would be disrespectful and ways that wouldn't be. So let's assume the author's husband doesn't find this to be disrespectful. Maybe it's a running joke. Maybe she only makes it when it's painfully obvious that the kids are actually acting more like her than him. Whatever. Do you think a wife sh…
/r/RedPillWives30/11/22 01:44 PM
29

I love this question. I believe it's absolutely possible. In fact, since every person has both masculine and feminine qualities, I think my stressful job is a good outlet for my own "masculine" qualities. It's easier for me to stay in a feminine lane outside of work because I have that outlet where I can achieve and compete and lead. I don't ever need to scratch that itch outside of work. I do understand though that it takes effort to learn how to switch. And that's harder for me when I've had a…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 07:46 PM
1

Super helpful! I hadn't been able to articulate why the alpha/beta language and dichotomy rubs me the wrong way and I think this is exactly it. They're different spectrums and you could represent it on a grid with both axes better than a line.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 01:16 PM
15

Maybe he's really just asking for more variety. Can you occasionally mix in some pieces that are more "his style"? When I was dating my husband, he told me he liked when I wear my hair in a "cute ponytail", but when I started doing it more often, he didn't really seem to still like it. Fast forward a few years and he told me he likes when I wear skinny jeans and a cute tshirt (as opposed to the sundresses I was wearing most days). But again, the more I wore them for him, the less he liked them. …
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 01:28 PM
1

I think conservative, religious RP women would be split if you asked them to advise on whether women should look specifically for RP men. My take is absolutely not, and I'd use the same logic the men do for non-virgins. It's not worth the risk. Sure, some of the RP men may have matured and grown and moved on and come to a more balanced view of things, but the vast majority seem stuck in the anger phase or have extraordinarily uncharitable views of women.
/r/RedPillWives29/07/22 01:22 PM
3

This made me laugh and I know that wasn't your intent! But it's just so true! Babies were physically exhausting, my elementary kids are mentally and emotionally exhausting. The game really shifts from physical care and provision to trying to raise good people.
/r/RedPillWives26/07/22 06:21 PM
2

not something I see as the one true way that things should be I am a (consevative evangelical) Christian, not necessarily politically conservative, and also not particularly anti-feminist and I completely relate to this statement. It seems, idk, overly self-important to me when people generalize their personal experience and assume all women or all men or all marriages must work exactly the same that theirs does.
/r/RedPillWives25/07/22 07:56 PM
7

I had just been thinking this afternoon about how so many of my friends who had SAHMs growing up now work and those who had working moms tend to stay home. I think it's natural to see the faults in your parents and want to make sure you don't perpetuate that. As a Christian though, I'd strongly encourage you to constantly seek what the Bible says about a wife's role, not to react against what you think is the root cause of your family's dysfunction. You may or may not have identified it correctl…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/22 08:06 PM
13

Do you feel unloved? Or just bored? I guess what I'm getting at is do you know he loves you and you just want more? Or are you wanting those things in order to feel loved? Either way, I think you may find it helpful to focus on the ways he is already showing you love vs dwelling on the ways you wish he would. I cannot for the life of me remeber where this came from, but I heard something recently about being a student of your husband - study him and his personality and his likes and dislikes. Fi…
/r/RedPillWives18/07/22 08:49 PM
6

I've been working from home for a few years now but my husband just transitioned to a new job last month and now he's home too for the first time. The kids are home with us right now too, so I expect our routine will change again when school starts. If we can make our breaks line up, we like to take a walk together at lunchtime which is a really pleasant way to reconnect and destress just a bit in the middle of the day. One thing I'm struggling with is the dinner schedule when both our stop time…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/22 01:53 PM
4

I very much agree with this as well. I am feminine because I'm a woman and it's more about fully allowing myself to operate that way.
/r/RedPillWives30/06/22 04:50 PM
9

I think you hit on one of the most important points for me, and it's the difference between feeling feminine and being feminine. And I'm careful not to judge what I think about who I am based on how I feel. When I don't feel particularly feminine, it's not that I feel masculine, just that I feel kinda normal. When actually being feminine is your standard and what feels normal, then it takes extra to shift the balance enough to feel the difference.
/r/RedPillWives29/06/22 03:56 PM
24

I sometimes find that trying to look or be more feminine is a little too ambiguous of a target. It helps me more to pay attention to the things about my appearance, character, and personality that my husband cares about or appreciates and focus on those things.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/22 12:54 PM
1

I think that's a really fair question and honestly I made a lot of assumptions based on how she presented the problem. I assumed that if division of labor were the issue, she would have asked about that, but this seemed more about his view of himself and their relationship dynamic. I wasn't advocating that she do everything, just that she stop asking/telling him to do things temporarily for the purpose of eliminating any inkling of a dynamic where she is in charge of him. If they don't have a re…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/22 10:25 PM
18

People will criticize you no matter what you do. If you need quick proof, go check the comment section of any post about motherhood on Facebook. SAHMs are criticized AND working moms are criticized. You probably feel that the harshest criticism is leveled at whichever you identify with the most. It's impossible to make everyone happy with your choices, therefore you can't make your decisions based on trying to make "society" or other people happy. You have to learn to live with the criticism and…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 12:17 AM
13

preferable low body count but it's not the hill I'm going to die on This is an important call-out. Many women might prefer a low body count, all other things being equal, but it falls much lower on their priority ranking than it does for men. And we know that all other things aren't usually equal and that many characteristics women prefer in men correlates to a higher body count. Women prioritize those characteristics more than they prioritize inexperience. Many men would consider it a deal brea…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/22 11:05 PM
29

You may need to switch up more of your dynamic to make him feel like he gains back some of the "power" that he lost by giving up an income. If I were in your shoes, I would, at least temporarily, stop asking him to do things. It may be reinforcing the feeling that you are in charge and are delegating tasks to him. And conversely, I'd be quick to respond to anything he asked of me. This is potentially controversial, but I'd also take a hard look at who manages the finances and if there's an easy …
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/22 04:14 PM
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