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StopBeingAPlate Archive

View 6 posts and 60 comments by StopBeingAPlate on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I used to love going to the driving range!! I didn’t even consider going there now just to get out of the house and work on my swing. Thanks for the idea!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 07:12 AM
4

This is why I was surprised to see posts about dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 06:19 AM
3

The rise in domestic violence and abuse is heartbreaking. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 06:12 AM
2

You dodged two bullets there!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:41 AM
2

Thank you!! I just cheered reading your response!! I like reading/hearing people’s thought processes behind statements. So, thank you for taking the time to respond. I’m hoping others will read your comments. We all need to be safe and help keep each other safe!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:41 AM
10

I agree. Staying safe during the pandemic is part of my value system. I was still on Bumble during the beginning of the pandemic and I was appalled at the men in my area (nurses included!!!) who were not taking it seriously!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:37 AM
0

Why is that? I’m not disagreeing with you. I’d like to hear your reasoning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 05:12 AM
1

Is there anyone in your class you’re friends with that has witnessed this behavior? If so, I would have them go with you for support to talk to the Manager or owner (if it’s a small, local one) of the gym.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:34 AM
2

$1,000 gift?? What? I can’t even finish reading this. She sounds like she has an anxious attachment style.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:31 AM
6

THIS! They’ve been talking about it for a month and a half, so that puts the initial discussion at 4.5 months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:25 AM
3

This is definitely psychopathic behavior. Not sure how old this guy is - harming animals is usually an indicator of psychopathy. Block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 06:14 AM
5

I don’t have any Halloween-specific movie ideas. Hopefully someone else will have some!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 09:39 PM
3

Do not communicate with him again. That’s attention. He wants attention. You have to commit to no contact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 06:04 AM
9

Is there some way you can document that you told him to stop communicating with you? Telling someone to stop communicating with you is the first thing to document for legal purposes. Document every communication after that. Is is possible to get a Ring doorbell?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 08:02 PM
3

I am more than happy to help my male friends unpack things; however, I’ve been friends with them for over five years and they’ve given me the same help over the course of our friendship. I am not a mental health professional and I will not be one in a relationship with a man. That’s why they have a career and insurance- to pay for therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 07:58 PM
1

Before meeting in person: 1) Have a phone call and if he passed that, 2) Have a virtual date. You will know he is lazy and not putting any effort in before you meet in person. Vet! Vet! Vet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:32 AM
60

Nope. Wrong message. I don’t intimidate men. Men are intimidated by me. There’s a difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 10:53 PM
2

One strategy to ensure you don’t end up living by one is to live by a school, if possible. Convicted sex offenders cannot live near schools.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 12:14 AM
25

Wax the back hair if you’re furry like a yeti!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 07:29 AM
4

Oh. I like your idea!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 09:35 AM
16

Eye roll. Good on you for blocking!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 04:42 AM
15

2 is what I see the most. A lot of guys think that they have to compete with me in the brains department. Nope. It’s not a competition. You be you and I’ll be me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 08:03 AM
11

I second a HVM helping out with pets. I have an elderly dog and having a guy go to a vet appointment with me or bring me food (was once stuck with my dog at the ER vet and I didn’t have time to eat dinner) are HVM actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 07:37 AM
5

It’s called “Fawn” in the CPTSD space. We’ve been taught “Flight” or “Fight” in response to something traumatic. There’s also “Freeze” and “Fawn.” Lots of good literature around the 4 Fs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 07:33 AM
5

Woa. I’m so glad you are out of that relationship!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 07:30 AM
-3

I’ve also had sex with a 50 year old and a 52 year old - seriously, some of the best sex of my life. When it gets awkward for me is having to talk about Viagra with a 37 and 40 year-old (both younger than me).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 07:25 AM
-2

I said commitment. Not marriage. You can be in a committed relationship without getting married. And yes, I am familiar with studies that show women are happier without children or a spouse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/19 02:23 AM
-7

Go to therapy and figure out the root cause of your fear of commitment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 03:38 PM
13

If I heard some of these red flags, I’d stop wasting my time talking to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 03:36 PM
4

This!! The likelihood he will hear what she says is small and probably isn’t the first time he’s heard feedback like this. Keep it simple and block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 03:34 PM
5

If there isn’t a wall for men, why am I having discussions about ED, Viagra, low blood pressure, etc with guys who are 38, 40 and 46? My sex drive has never slowed down and I still have a high sex drive. Now I’m wondering if this is what the future holds - me using toys to satisfy myself not because he can’t keep up with me, but because he never gets off the starting line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 08:38 AM
13

My ex husband did not like giving me oral and I (incorrectly) assumed that most men didn’t like giving it. Then I got divorced and damn!! I found out guys LOVE going down on women. It took me a few years to let the hang ups from my ex disappear, but they eventually did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 08:24 AM
10

I read a PUA book a few years ago and I LOVE calling guys out for negging me!! It completely takes them by surprise and I say, “Yes. I immersed myself in the PUA, RP, MGTOW, etc subculture and learned all about them.” A few have denied they know what I’m talking about at first. But, I get them to keep talking about it and eventually they let their guard down and fess up. It’s also the last time I see them. I want a guy to be himself and let me decide if I want to have a relationship with him or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 08:11 AM
2

Yes. It is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 02:15 AM
3

Saw this article this morning and thought it would be a good read in this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/19 04:47 PM
5

Yes!! I agree. I also do not like being called a “girl.” I am a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 05:41 AM
11

Tell him that you’re not interested, wish him well and then block him. This prevents him from reaching out in the future. The gradual fade out/ghosting is a coward’s way out. Be honest, up front and compassionate. Being able to clearly articulate your feelings in this situation is good practice and will help give you the necessary skills to be able to have difficult conversations in the future. Because, as you get older, there will be more and more difficult conversations that you will need to h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 07:55 PM
15

I’ve matched with a few men that are “legally separated” in the past few months. They’re on Bumble, living separate lives; however, for whatever reason, they are waiting to file for divorce. Since I am looking for a LTR, I skip these men and put them in the same bucket as a “taken” man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 07:45 PM
6

I was in my early 20s, in an abusive marriage and had a traumatic childhood. I had no self esteem and didn’t understand that (more than likely) my ex husband is homosexual. If I had been in a homosexual relationship, the outcome would’ve been the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/19 05:29 PM
12

I don’t only like it because men like it. I like it because it feels good. My ex gave me a hang up about receiving oral sex - I (incorrectly) assumed men didn’t like giving oral sex. I was young and ignorant - if my husband didn’t like giving me oral sex, then no man must like giving oral sex. I understand this is flawed logic; however, that flawed logic burrowed into my subconscious and prevented me from enjoying it. Once I understood that men do actually enjoy giving oral sex, I was able to le…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/19 05:06 PM
18

My ex gave me a complex about receiving oral sex, so it took me awhile after my divorce to enjoy a guy going down on me. But, I’ve had guys beg me to let me, so I did my best to enjoy it. Things kind of mentally changed for me last summer when I went out with this guy. Had dinner, drinks - an amazing time. We went back to his house, he put me on the kitchen counter, hiked my skirt up, slid my panties down and made me cum with his tongue right there on the kitchen counter. When he put me on the c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/19 04:42 PM
5

Nope. Pic in a bikini does not equate to someone looking for a life partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/19 07:17 AM
3

I married someone with NPD and later dated someone with NPD and some psychopathic tendencies. Realized I had attachment issues, found a therapist that specializes in C-PSTD that offered EMDR and hypnotherapy. Got to the root cause of stuff, reprocessed my childhood memories and now I feel like a new person with a healthy headspace. I highly encourage you to look into EMDR or hypnotherapy as a different modality for your therapy. Both allow you to access the subconscious, understand your unhealth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 02:35 PM
12

Being with someone will not guarantee that you won’t feel alone or unloved. I was the loneliest in my marriage. I highly recommend therapy now - at 31. Build your self worth back up and you will attract the right guy that is emotionally available.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 07:21 AM
4

No. It doesn’t matter that you’re fat. You mentioned that your ex did something traumatic to you...kind of as a side note. That’s usually where the story is. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, whatever your ex did - and I’m not asking you to tell me, but just answer for yourself - is this the first time something traumatic like that has happened to you? I’m going to guess it’s not. Whatever your ex did (& whatever may have happened to you before then), please go see a therapist about it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 07:03 AM
5

Please do not ever again wait around like this for a man. Go live your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 03:44 AM
3

100% this!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 03:42 AM
5

I’ve learned a simple sentence lately - “That’s not ok.” (Or, I’m not ok with that.) It goes a long way in these types of scenarios. If anything, it’s self affirming that you are stating how you feel and sticking to your own boundaries. I highly recommend the book, “The Gift of Fear” - he talks about situations like the guy following you and what to do. As for your emotions around this - they’re valid. They’re good to feel because this behavior you’re referring to isn’t ok. I’m glad you are angr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/19 04:02 PM
13

I don’t know - why ARE you giving and giving to someone who makes you feel like shit and why are you putting your health at risk? Stop having unprotected sex!! Level up! This man is not on your playing field.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/19 03:57 PM
35

I subscribe to those subreddits! If you want to know how to avoid these types of men, go read their subreddits!! They’ve LAID out their games and belief systems. They literally are giving you their playbook. Once I started reading their stuff, I knew what to look out for in the dating world and have successfully avoided these types of men. Yes, it’s a lot of toxic crap, but these men believe it and sadly eat it up. Keep your friends close ladies...keep your enemies closer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/19 03:54 PM
13

Someone just linked in this sub a post from the over30dating sub about a woman who had been in a five year open “relationship.” Lots of learning opportunities. As for you, he’s not meeting your needs. You want to be exclusive. He doesn’t. If you are wanting a committed relationship with a guy, go find that instead of being in an “open relationship.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/19 08:18 AM
1

If he is a kind, compassionate guy who has a schedule that lines up with yours, go for it! It doesn’t matter if he’s a teacher or has anything else in common with your ex. If your ex had brown hair, would you refuse to date guys with brown hair? Nope. I think a guy willing to be a teacher is attractive. It takes a lot of patience to be a teacher (I know I could never do it!!) and there aren’t enough male teachers (at least in America). The male teachers where I grew up were compassionate and gre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/19 07:54 AM
11

The best strategy to avoid sleeping with a f*ckboy is to not sleep with a guy until you know whether or not he is using you for just sex. Ask yourself this question-“Is he using me just for sex?” If your answer is: No - proceed Maybe - don’t sleep with him I’m not sure - don’t sleep with him Yes - don’t sleep with him ——— As far as “attaching to a fck boy” - now we get into attachment theory. I would argue that a majority of instances that a women “attaches” herself to a fckboy more than likely …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/19 07:38 AM
2

No. Not my monkey. Not my circus. It’s not your job or my job to help anyone that doesn’t want help. It could boil down to preferences. It could boil down to he’s having a rough time. It could boil down to he has an undiagnosed mental illness. The wrong advice could have adverse effects. Be compassionate when you break off communication and wish him well. And keep it moving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/19 09:14 PM
2

Listen to your instincts!! If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut!! The best way to deal with Stage 5 Clingers is to cut it off ASAP and block. Be firm - “I don’t feel an attraction. Good luck in your search.” Block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/19 09:10 PM
3

Lonely people do not need to seek out a relationship and there is no guarantee that being with people means you won’t also feel lonely. I felt the loneliest when I was married. Go to therapy! An abusive relationship isn’t something you “get over!” Take this time to heal, learn what your patterns are, figure out why you were attracted to this person in the first place and learn. It is when you feel whole, healthy and okay with being alone should you start to date again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/19 09:07 PM
12

Welcome! As a former people pleaser, I highly encourage you to read up on codependency and learn how to establish healthy boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/19 07:45 PM
19

Women need boundaries and I encourage you to look for a man that 1) respects your boundaries and 2) has healthy boundaries of his own. If you struggle with boundaries, I encourage you to read “Codependent No More.” And if you struggle to identify what a man that is codependent looks like, read, “No More Mr Nice Guy” (The author never uses the term “codependent” in that book, but the “Nice Guy” he is referring to is a codependent man).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/19 03:30 PM
5

☝🏻This! Simply tell him that you’re not looking for an NSA situation, good luck in your search and then unmatch. Don’t resort to name calling. When they go low, we go high.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/19 08:42 AM
32

I think the reality of the situation is that it is a group of insecure, hurt men that refuse to look inward as they are unable to deal with the reality in doing so. Hurt people hurt others. However, if they had the courage to step out of their groups, seek therapy, deal with whatever is hurting them, they could see the damage they inflict upon the world and what they’ve done to themselves (which is mostly waste a lot of time and energy beating up on people on Reddit). Imagine the shift of energy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/19 08:37 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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