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StrangestUnicorn Archive

View 0 posts and 148 comments by StrangestUnicorn on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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28

What men mean by “playing hard to get” is the female version of “love bombing”. Love bombing is a form of deception where a man exaggerates his interest in a woman, while playing hard to get is a form of deception where a woman exaggerates her disinterest in a man. People don’t like deception. Being straightforward isn’t the only alternative to such deception. In early dating stages both people usually have some degree of uncertainty about the other person and at the same time interest in pursui…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/25 07:58 AM
6

Reading between the lines, what is the alternative to dating for marriage you are considering? Besides, the biological clock, there is a matter of diminishing sex ratios (the number of single men to single women), and how much leverage that gives you in the dating market, as well as diminishing quality of men. When you are young, you have higher stamina/energy levels to date, you have more active circle of single friends (who in turn also have a more active circle of single friends) to be introd…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/25 08:06 PM
4

You seem to be describing two separate issues: Dependence. I think that this is expected. If one partner "constantly" takes care of some errand, the other partner will become "dependent" on that errand being done, be it you making sure dinner is ready or him making sure the utility bills are paid. Delegation of responsibilities in a relationship is normal and healthy. What can be not healthy is if such delegation is one-sided. I'll get back to this later. Lack of dates. Consider the inverse of y…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/24 08:18 PM
15

Funny to us, but for them it is a defensive reaction to their lack of success in the mating market. I seems to me that the reason it received any attention in the West is not because of the "funny", but because of how relatable it is to some. Which is, well, all rather sad, the more I think about it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 01:39 PM
46

Yes, though the original "4B" is not just abstinence from premarital sex, but as the name suggests, is a refusal to do all four of the following: dating, sex, marriage and children. Thus it is closer to manosphere's MGTOW than to Christian conservatism.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 01:19 PM
26

A female version of MGTOW, which exists only in niche corners of South Korean internet, largely unknown to an average person, but overblown into something far bigger in a recent western Tiktok trend.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 11:20 AM
9

Not the only one! It is often referred to as Benevolent Sexism For example, benevolent sexism is associated with higher relationship satisfaction (Sibley & Becker, 2012; Lachance-Grzela, 2021; Leaper et al., 2022) and less relationship conflict (Leaper et al., 2022). For individuals in relationships, benevolent sexism predicts higher life satisfaction (Waddell et al., 2019) and higher well-being for both men and women (Hammond & Sibley, 2011). Men who score high in benevolent sexism are viewed m…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/24 04:25 AM
12

It is important to correctly diagnose the reasons why he hasn’t proposed yet. Is it because he does not see you as a life partner or are there circumstances that make him feel unready to start a family? I think you are underestimating how much his work instability is contributing to his engagement hesitations, not least because he knows you want to be a SAHM. For many men, it is necessary to feel financially stable for such offers of commitment to feel genuine. For example, there is no shortage …
/r/RedPillWomen29/02/24 07:26 PM
–

Yes, those archives are an amazing resource! Though it looks like the site is still online. I think its SSL certificate expired, so you have to access it via unencrypted link http://www.therulesrevisited.com/ (http:// instead of https://)
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/24 05:06 AM
2

I don't want to penalise OP for not knowing how to respond to the sexless marriage joke We agree on this completely. To point out that she made a mistake is not the same as penalizing her for it. Relationship conflicts are not competitions where we count grievance points to determine a winner and a loser. Pointing out that she could have handled this conversation better does not absolve him from the responsibility of not having done the same. she doesn't even want to promise him sex because he's…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/24 03:24 AM
6

I think we are trying to answer two different questions here. There are two parts to relationship advice. First is to determine if they should break up, the answer to which is "yes", given that she clarified that this incident is not an outlier. The other part is to determine if OP contributed to the problem and how she could handle it better in the future. The answer to this is also "yes", based on her description of the conversation: First comfort test. He, having agreed to abstain from premar…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 09:06 PM
7

Not trying to defend his behavior, but most comfort tests are driven by insecurity, i.e. a need for reassurance. I think how we see such conflicts depends on the goals. If the goal is to determine fault, then yes, he, as an instigator, is at fault. If the goal is to maintain the relationship, then the responsibility is partly on her to "pass" these comfort tests, even if they are poorly worded. When he asked "Do you care about me? Yes or no" is akin to a woman asking "Do you love me?" or "Do I l…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 06:35 PM
5

My original thinking was that it is a typical example of one person throwing a comfort test, the other interprets it as a shit test and responds with agree and amplify, instead of comfort, which, as one may predict, causes hurt feelings, etc. I try to give a benefit of the doubt whenever I see this. But now I'm not sure if that was deserved in this case.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 06:02 PM
8

It looks like you mind is already made up. I assume the the point of the post is to get reassurance that breaking up with him is the right decision? From what you described, I agree that it does not look like you are compatible.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 05:44 PM
0

There are some subjects that people need to be very direct about, especially when they are brought up for the first time during vetting stages. It would pay to have some empathy for his own struggle when navigating your cultural and religious differences. Given that you are Muslim, a religion known for having strict rules about sex, he is understandingly weary when vetting for sexual compatibility. For example, you stated that one of the reasons you are interested in a relationship with him is b…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 05:18 PM
15

Exactly. OP even wrote in another comment: He likes that I take charge. I help us with financial planning and I plan all the vacations and stuff we do for fun. His job is so stressful, I think he prefers me to take the lead on all the 'big life' stuff. I am such a control freak that I prefer that anyway. I think this shows that there is a lot more flexibility for division of labor for childfree couples, where each person can play into their unique strengths, even if they deviate from the "1950s"…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/24 12:59 AM
27

Artificially inflating your market value only works for short term mating. You can package a cheap product in a box made of gold and you will get a lot of sales, but also a lot of refunds. That is why aloofness is a men's pick up artist strategy designed to fool women into sleeping with them and then dumping them before they realize they fell for an artificially inflated facade. What happens if you try this strategy to get a long term relationship? You will run into the same problem many women d…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/24 09:03 AM
–

Can you describe what changes he has made, and how they affect your relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/24 11:43 PM
70

You exposure is subject of selection bias. Husbands who have both the capacity and willingness to be primary breadwinners for their families, generally do not talk about it on dating/relationship forums. My mother was a SAHM for 20+ years, before going back to finish her medical residency and work part-time as a family doctor once the kids were old enough. Most of the women in my extended family and family friends are also highly educated and became SAHMs once marriage and kids came along. One t…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/23 05:28 AM
16

I apologize for the sex work assumption. I will probably echo some male red pill talking points, but it is useful to understand how he feels about this situation. Sexual security is a big part of relationship security. There are two parts of sexual security: trust in sexual intentions (desire to stay faithful) and trust in sexual agency (ability to resist seduction / not being played or deceived). A history of deliberately seeking out casual sex (i.e. high body count) deteriorates trust in inten…
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/23 04:46 AM
34

This post is relatively vague. And it is hard to give any specific advice. You do not have to reveal more than you want, but I am curious about the wording of the following: I have a pretty low amount of sex partners in the past taking accountability for my lack of self respect in the past he thinks that at some point I will go back to that I finally respect and hold myself to a high standard now This reads to me like some form of mild sex work or something similar. If it is, the solutions would…
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/23 01:34 AM
62

I'll try and take a positive spin on this: How often do you complement his physical appearance? When people, men and women alike, are starved of "words of affirmation", especially from a person whose approval and validation they value most - their romantic partner, this can lead to a variety of coping methods, some healthy, some less so. The use of dread by your boyfriend could easily be an unhealthy expression of a very healthy emotional need - a need to know that your romantic partner finds yo…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 03:19 PM
2

I saw this within the hour of this post being created. I wasn't sure if I should have mentioned this then, or just let the discussion happen? I think the discussion subject is interesting, even if the post itself and its motivations are quite odd. We don't have any rules about that, right?
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 06:38 PM
3

OP posted a month ago in SugarLifestyleForum asking about how to convert her 2-year boyfriend into a sugar daddy. I think her post here is just an attempt to crowdsource material for her sales pitch to him.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 06:15 PM
23

You are totally right. Both parties have to bring value to the table. Yet, it would be more useful to diagnose her dating difficulties with greater precision. It is not clear to me that all men she dated had little to offer. It appears that at least some of them offered enough for her to want to pursue a serious relationship with them. And it is they who did not think she offered enough to reciprocate the interest. Yes, there are men who are "unserious", and we can attribute individual dating fl…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 09:55 AM
15

I think it would be more helpful if you could describe in more detail some of your previous dates. How did you meet them? How did you approach ensuring you have shared relationship goals? What actions did you take to demonstrate "what you have to offer"?
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/23 08:35 AM
31

This is a frequent discussion subject. I like to link this post: How class affects male preferences. When navigating the modern male dating advice landscape, it is important to remember that the majority its audience/participants are young lower/middle income men, and thus a lot of their preferences tend to dominate the "what men want" discussions.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 10:43 PM
55

A brief answer: we can look at sex from a two perspectives: physiological and emotional From a physiological perspective, craving for sex is not too dissimilar from other physiological cravings, like hunger or itching, satisfaction of which is rewarded with dopamine. The amount of dopamine is correlated with physical attractiveness of the sexual partner and the novelty of the experience. This is what drives the demand for pornography: a large variety of physically attractive women performing lar…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/23 12:53 AM
4

Dread for women
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/23 04:01 PM
3

I do not like the work "fake" used in this context. It carries connotations of "deceit" that should not be part of a healthy relationship. Couples do not resolve their incompatibilities by pretending that they do not exist, but by being vulnerable with each other, and making an effort to navigate them together. No one can completely escape the idiosyncrasies of their upbringing, which makes it all the more important to have a spouse who knows, understands and accepts them. Which is why I largely…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/23 12:55 AM
30

Your situation reminds me of my parents. He was from a family of PhDs, she was a med student from a working class family. There were definitely "class" incompatibilities early in that relationship, but with good communication and problem resolution skills (on my father's part mostly) and a mutual determination to make the relationship work, they now have a happy several decade long marriage. Statistically, people mostly marry within their own class, but that does not mean that happy healthy exce…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/23 11:30 PM
26

I AM THE TABLE!!
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/23 02:27 AM
22

I do not object to you wanting to spend time together, but to lack of proper notice in communicating your schedule availability. If you knew as early as Wednesday that your Saturday will be free, you would have likely avoided this fight if you told him about it on Wednesday, instead of waiting until Saturday morning. Giving people proper notice is a sign that your respect their time. Even if you do not think that he spends his time productively, does not make it any less disrespectful to expect …
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 08:34 PM
28

I'll play devil's advocate here and say that improvements in communication can go both ways. If you have unexpected schedule availability and want to make plans to hang out, you have to be more direct. Giving vague hints such as: I told him Wednesday that the teacher forgot to mention any reading material and I was saying how relaxed I felt [...] I also said how nice it was that I don’t have anything to read. That was that. is not enough, in fact he didn't even register that you were implying th…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 06:36 PM
35

Hey, you have made almost exact same post 3 months, 7 months and 9 months ago. Two recurring pieces of advice you seem to ignore: Stop saying that your boyfriend broke up with you just because of your looks. As I have mentioned in my answer to your previous post, your insecurities about your appearance are likely a much larger obstacle to your dating prospects than your physical appearance itself. And even if it's true that your boyfriend was not attracted to you, you should still stop saying th…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 05:06 AM
19

Should I instead look for a man who is maybe slightly less accomplished and wealthy who can maybe provide a fraction of what this man can, but I know I'll respect him because he's intelligent enough to read a book he offers better terms in case of divorce? Help -- I'm feeling incredibly torn about this. I know I'm poking my finger in places I shouldn't, but I find this whole conversation quite funny. I feel like you are expecting that this relationship will likely end in divorce, and while half …
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 09:01 PM
19

While it is none of my business about how it was resolved, I hope it is different from this you wrote 19 days ago: He wouldn’t budge on any clause that gave me anything. Essentially his agreement was, regardless of who leaves, I wont have a home or any support. And I agreed to sign it, because I figured I could squirrel away some money now before I have kids and ask my parents to lend me money in case he leaves me when I’m not young and pretty anymore. But he did a 180 and decided he didn’t want…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 08:31 PM
14

I found this from you account history: He believes that marriage is fundamentally unfair to men and that divorce is a way for women to steal men’s hard earned assets. He has asked me to sign a pre-nup where in case of divorce I would get nothing. This frightens me because statistically men cheat 2x more than women, and if a woman develops a terminal illness men are six times more likely to leave her. I really love this man and see good in him, but I am very very scared by these things. What do y…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 08:06 PM
31

Do you have reasons to believe that he actually agrees with the content of those videos? When I first discovered RedPill, I also mass consumed RP books, blogs, videos, forums, etc, even though I was already well read on evo-psych and history to know that most of the claims made were inaccurate in some way. There is a quote by Aristotle: “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” I find it very boring to consume content I agree with already. Most …
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 07:04 PM
3

Yes, but their "power" on the dating market translates not only in the quantity but also quality of the women they are able to attract. To quote a comment from the previous Back to Basics post: Under normal circumstances, people don't look for relationships. They meet someone who makes them want one. Access to many high-caliber "wife-material" women makes it more likely that they will find someone they will want to settle-down for life, which results in higher marriage rates and lower divorce ra…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/23 08:34 PM
5

There is also an alternative way to define the "the wall" using changes in the dating economy with age, rather than changes in physical appearance directly. It is the one I was familiar with long before I discovered the RedPill's "the wall", and one I also find much more palatable and much less alarmist. I shared this perspective in a related discussion a few months ago. I'll copy-paste my comment here: This is a very simplistic way to look at how the dating economy changes with age. I agree we …
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/23 07:27 PM
8

I agree. Yet, I think we need both kind of posts: the warning posts for women who have not yet had (much) casual sex to be aware of its consequences and to know how to avoid it should they choose to. the encouraging posts for women who already have The problem is that it is almost impossible to write the former type of post without it sounding "TRP style", and given the modern RP climate, it means that writing such posts is impossible at all. Whisper's posts are far from perfect, but they are an…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 08:39 AM
3

Forgive me for the much delayed answer. While I was able to recall most of the details of your story from reading it years ago, I took some time to reread your post and comment history for a fresher perspective. My usual disclaimers are due: I am nothing more than an internet stranger. I operate with the limited information I have about you. Thus all I can offer is merely a perspective, not a solution. The relationship you used to have for the first two and some years was never sustainable. A ty…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 11:23 PM
3

Thank you for clarifying. I am still juggling my thoughts in my head. We reached a point where we were ready... Can you clarifying when this happened?
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 11:42 PM
3

This is a great take. But she is not a virgin though, and she is waiting with him much longer than her previous partners. That's what makes this situation so puzzling to me.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 08:42 PM
6

Oh wow, I was typing a lengthy answer, when I read this. I recall you waited only a handful of months with your previous three partners, and I assumed this was also the case here. 3 years is something else. I know this is difficult to answer, but what is your long term plan here is? Usually when women delay sex, it is done so in part as an incentive for greater commitment (such as marriage) or some other kind of milestone. But it seems like even if you were to marry tomorrow, nothing is going to…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/23 08:38 PM
8

I do not recall the exact numbers, but from what I read, extroversion and openness were much bigger predictors of body count than that height, income, etc. In other words, the effort to put oneself into social interactions that can lead to sex is more important than attractiveness. For example, college educated men have on average fewer sexual partners that non-college educated men, driven more by lesser pursuit of casual sex, rather than lesser ability to get it. I think this is quite intuitive…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/23 09:06 AM
15

From the studies I read, the age of marriage with statistically lowest divorce rates are early-mid twenties for religious women and mid-late twenties for non-religious women. The difference isn't all that significant though, as there are much larger predictors of divorce, than the age of marriage alone.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 03:08 PM
5

If the man has already told her that he wants something serious with her, but then decides to change his mind, be it because of sex or any other superficial reason, then of course it isn't a fair play. But we are talking about a 3rd date, no such commitments have been made, because he himself does not yet know if she is someone he wants to keep just for tonight, for the a year, or a lifetime. At this stage, every superficial detail is under scrutiny and is used by both of them to determine if th…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 09:04 PM
8

This is not a matter of shaming. My earlier analogy is quite apt here. If a woman is tuned off by a man who chose to split the bill, she is of course not shaming him for it, but she will judge it as a values incompatibility for long term potential. Likewise, a man of course should not shame a woman for sleeping with him, but he may judge that encounter as a values incompatibility for long term potential. We all carry double standards. Some women want a husband willing to foot the bill, some men …
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 07:09 PM
8

I agree. I wonder what the right word would be for this? Perhaps also these categories are not mutually exclusive. Using the Madonna/Whore or Security/Escape concepts, it is possible and even preferred for a woman to appeal to both Madonna/Security as well as Whore/Escape. It is interesting that when women worry that her actions have shown lack of Madonna/Security, they often refer to it as "Is he going to think I’m a slut now?" as OP did. While an intuitive phrasing, it does imply a belief that…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 03:38 PM
11

I think the "solution" kind of missed the mark. The turn off for a man isn't him not being "ready" for physical escalation, but her allowing herself to get physical before SHE is ready. Telling a guy, who finds women with poor sexual boundaries a turn off, to avoid physical escalation, is like telling a woman, who finds men who split the bill a turn off, to only go on free dates. If you don't vet, you will not find dealbreakers, who would have thunk!
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 02:10 PM
8

I cannot disagree with you because I have not read it. For people who are already interested in evolutionary psychology, learning it from Buss and colleagues is the best way by far. However, I'm hesitant to list it as a general recommendation, amongst other books recommended on this sub. For me, evolutionary psychology literature is a case-by-case recommendation. There are people in my social circle I know would benefit from reading Buss et al, and yet there are others I would steer away from it…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/23 08:14 AM
10

I haven't read this book specifically, but I have read his earlier book "Evolution of Desire" and some other literature he has coauthored many years ago. It is important to keep in mind a common critique of evolutionary psychology, that it is a very speculative field, with most of its theories being neither provable nor falsifiable. One of the biggest factors in deterioration of men's Red Pill has been their increasingly loose interpretation of evo-psych which they conveniently cheery pick to ju…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/23 03:53 AM
5

Am I correct to assume the illness that prevented you from seeing each other was on his end? If so, I think what he was upset about wasn't your "relaying" of information about your talk with your mother, but the talk you had with your mother itself. Many people consider their health to be a private matter, and for them it is a boundary violation if someone were to disclose their health issues to a third party without consent, even if it is a close family member. Perhaps this is what he is defens…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/23 10:23 PM
7

This is indeed good advice. However I would not attribute this to "femininity". She is a fun and engaging conversationalist and talks about "positivity", which never sounds bad coming from anyone. If an 82 year old man said the exact same words, it would sound equally as good. As for mystery and lack of communication, I do not think that they are "women's strength" specifically. You can hear about the "mystery method" all the way back in the pick-up artist community from over a decade ago. When …
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/23 04:44 AM
17

I fear that you have entirely dismissed what to me appears to be the meat of the question: What were his issues with his previous engagement? It is important to you and would be useful to us to understand the causes of his hesitations about both the marriage in general and the marriage with you specifically. As the old RP saying goes: Women are gatekeepers of sex and men are gatekeepers of commitment. And as often as men blame their dead bedrooms on "low libido" of their wives, so do unwed women…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/23 07:01 PM
27

I understand the need for privacy, but it's quite clear you are talking about AI and the Bay Area tech scene. I mention this because while the two fields are similar in many ways, some of their differences are relevant to this discussion. You are making a mistake of ascribing your own priorities onto him. Perhaps for you, enjoying what you do is the main priority in your own career choices. But his decisions make it clear that his priorities are different. He is pursuing this field primarily for…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/23 09:28 AM
11

I think you are missing my point. Domestic chores are not the problem here. He does not communicate to you about domestic problems until he gets resentful, because they are not the cause of this resentment, but his complaints are an emotional expression of it. Missing breakfasts and messy kitchens is not what tears relationships apart, and not what makes a man emotionally unavailable. At the heart of any good relationship lies a solid friendship. Sure, you are his wife and a mother of his child,…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/23 11:24 PM
36

You can negotiate chores, but you cannot negotiate desire. Unless you want to make "attention" another chore on his checklist of domestic responsibilities, the only way to make him give you attention is to make him want to give it to you. What this whole episode with his sister showed, is that the lack of emotional connection in your relationship is not caused by his "emotional unavailability" or whatever, but his lack of desire to be "emotionally available" with you specifically. There is a gre…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/23 10:17 PM
27

He hasn't asked you to pay rent, has he? If he asked you to move in with him even before his previous tenant decided to leave, I would assume his offer does not include rent payment? Besides the financial logistics, what are your long term goals for this relationship, and have you discussed them with him? The only reason I see for a need to force a "no cohabitation until engagement" negotiation is if you want marriage and he is lukewarm about it. But so long as your goals align, and you trust hi…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/23 09:37 PM
8

I have to give her credit for coming back here with more questions despite the largely negative responses she got on her previous posts. There is not shortage of places to get easy answers and validation on reddit. Perhaps her coming back here is a sign of good faith will to learn and improve. Everyone starts somewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/23 12:11 AM
7

To be frank, part of me believes that she fits into the definition of a "virgin" somehow. I recall her mentioning that her 5 year long relationship was long distance. And her affair with her professor was not "consummated" because "it was too painful", at least going by the many graphic descriptions of their sexual attempts she provided in her comment history.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/23 11:35 PM
24

What can I do now to increase my social value again? I'll be frank. I do not think you can. Not without either a complete change of social circle or a repentance by marrying a man who is the opposite of a rich provider. Or how do I be more discreet? By being discreet. As one of the responses from your earlier post told you: Rich men value discretion - their livelihoods and social standing could be affected by their woman’s social faux pas or loose lips. Do not talk to ANYONE about wanting a rich…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/23 11:31 PM
9

I do not think such sentiments are unique to RPW. Women "swearing off dating apps" are common all throughout dating-themed subreddits. A frequent excuse given is some non-falsifiable claim, such as "dating apps are not my thing" or "I had a bad experience with dating apps". It's difficult to respond to that with "use them anyways". I suspect that in a lot of cases, the actual reasons for now using dating apps are more selfish, that most are unwilling to admit publicly, such as: It takes more wor…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/23 06:30 PM
49

I remember you used to have another reddit account (now deleted) where you used to post during your last relationship, about your boyfriends porn habits and your struggles with accepting your physical appearance. I do not want to bring all that baggage up, but I do want to provide some broader observations. You carry a lot of insecurities about your physical appearance, and I suspect that these insecurities are a bigger obstacle to your dating prospects than your physical appearance itself, perh…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/23 06:02 AM
22

Read The Art of Getting Things... Without Demanding Them And please, do not take relationship advice from tiktok. Pulling back because your partner didn't do what you want to do, when they do not even know what you want them to do is, well, quite counterproductive to say the least. Fostering honest and effective communication is more important than "energy". Probably not the book people on this subreddit usually recommend, but I would advise reading Gottman's The Seven Principles for Making Marr…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/23 12:59 AM
35

This does not answer your question, but I do need to to address the claim you make that women lose ability to pair bond after multiple sexual partners. The research does not support this thesis. The relationship between promiscuity and impaired pair bonding is not causal, meaning that past promiscuity correlates with poor relationship outcomes, but it does not cause them, nor is it unique to women. Even Whisper himself wrote: they say that women who have lots of partners can't pair bond, when it…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/23 04:23 AM
8

I think that neither of the three things you listed are red flags at this stage of your relationship. I tried several times to end the conversation mentioning the meeting. He wanted to continue to talk, which I accepted and in the end it was waaaay too long. Can you elaborate on how exactly you tried to end the conversation? I suspect that you were trying to be polite when ending the conversation by mentioning the meeting, but by doing so you were not assertive enough about your intent to end it…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/23 01:13 PM
17

Recommended reading from RPW wiki: the Art of the Bad Excuse.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 04:06 AM
4

I do not think you should bring this up. Though I would push back on the idea that this is a "secret". Back to the analogy: if that man was taking the trash out and "accidentally" saw a bunch of snack wrappers, should he mention it to his partner? Is it really a "secret" that he saw them? Is he being dishonest with her by not bringing this up? I do not think so. We all see a million things during the day, some that are flattering to our partners, some that aren't, some that are accidental, some …
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/23 11:46 PM
4

Let's for a moment explore an analogous situation. Imagine a woman develops a habit of eating unhealthy sugary snacks (5-7 days per week, 2-3 times per day. Often during lunch breaks at work). She starts to slowly gain weight that her partner is not happy about. His plan to address this is as follows: to let her know that I counted the calories she eats in a day, to apologize for being curious, and to let her know that I suspect she might be worried about my reaction. I’m going to tell her that …
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/23 11:12 PM
8

I see from your post history that you have already received a lot of good advice on the subject of his porn use itself. So I'll refrain from commenting on it. Can you describe what you want his relationship with porn to be? You stated before that you too use porn "on the daily" when he is deployed, so I assume you find acceptable him consuming porn in some situations? From what you have written elsewhere, it appears that he recognizes his porn use to be unhealthy. As I am sure you know, guilt, s…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/23 07:56 PM
2

What makes a model "high class" is not the modelling, but the things she does outside of modelling. Women who come from good families and have high status education and careers (philanthropy, arts, academia), who happen to model on the side, are considered "high class models". Women whose only notoriety is her modeling/acting is not "high class" not matter how successful she is. A lot of new money men come from upper-middle class and become successful by networking within upper/upper-middle clas…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/23 05:09 PM
–

I was writing the response, but you have deleted the post. Should I assume you have made up your mind?
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/23 01:41 PM
–

You have recently posted in the DeadBedrooms subreddit. Can you elaborate on your concerns? How is your sex life? Are you living together? What did he say the last time you brought up marriage topic? Also read this post: It's okay to say I Love You first
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/23 12:47 PM
21

While this post focuses a lot on actions & circumstance, this model also applies to passive traits, like intelligence: Security: A wife with good decision making in housekeeping and child rearing Status: A wife with impressive education and career achievements Escape: A wife with a curious mind able to engage in a mentally stimulating conversational subjects. I like this three dimensional model more than the the two dimensional Madonna Whore model. Madonna traits map closely to security, Whore t…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/23 12:38 AM
10

I think we have to distinguish between wanting to have sex with many women vs wanting to be sexually desired by many women. While the latter is a desire for status (self esteem boost / validation), the former fits better into the "escape" category. Desire for sexual variety is regulated, like all motivations, by the dopamine system. Thus the risk of sexually infidelity is heightened by the same triggers as any relapse towards dopamine inducing habits (like binge eating, impulsive shopping, etc),…
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/23 11:45 PM
2

I understand your frustration. I would also add that this is not unique to the realm of dating, but for all new relationship formation in general. When you reject a social invitation, new relationships, be they romantic or friendships, lack strong foundation often leads the other party to raise questions like "Does she not like me enough that she would rather sleep than spend time with me?" or "How commited is she to bulding this relationship?". With your old friends and family, who know you wel…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 04:48 AM
3

That makes a lot of sense. And I do not think you are unreasonable. I'm trying to understand this situation from his perspective. His disappointment seems irrational, but if I attempt to rationalize it, I would attribute it to misalignment of relative importance of your routine vs his social life, such that in the event of conflict, who needs to accommodate whom? I suspect his disappointment stems from it appearing as if you do not value his social life as much as he wants you to. I think correc…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 02:05 AM
2

Yes, this kind of behavior from those men is odd. Has this been a problem with your current SO? You are asking us how to respectfully lay out preemptive boundaries in case this becomes a problem again. From what you wrote I do not see why that would be necessary. Has something happened that made you want to communicate these boundaries to your SO?
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 12:47 AM
2

You might be right. I read through OP's account history a few months ago. I do not remember all the details, but from what I remember, she has been weightlifting for quite a while and she has been dating also for quite a while, and the impression I got was that the two don't mesh together. But then again, I could be wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 12:19 AM
1

Perhaps we operate on different definitions of "support". I agree that "talking and listening" are not big asks, but when OP says "support" she is referring to: I know both can be ‘selfish’ endeavours - they require time and sacrifice and means I do miss out on certain social events, need to get good sleep, monitor my diet, etc. When she says that men try to "change her", I read that as them resisting her requests to accommodate her restrictions on their social life, dietary needs, amongst other…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 12:09 AM
6

I'm curious at how long it took your relationship to reach this point? I assume that if 2 months into dating, your husband started "talking my ear off about some stupid game, despite knowing I don't know or care what he's talking about" or you started doing the same about what you have read, there would not have been the same level of tolerance and support as you have now. The amount of sacrifice we are willing to bear to support our partners' in their interests grows with time. OP wrote this 2 …
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/23 11:52 PM
1

Hey, you should combine both this and your other post, since they cover the same subject
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/23 11:55 PM
15

The utility of such advice is subject to cultural norms. A devout Muslim man is very different from a secular western man, even if both can be "HVM" in their own right. The kind of women they date, the expectations they have for their relationships, and the conditions that have to be met for them to propose marriage are also different. I have heard similar advice from other Muslims, because this approach is common in certain Muslim subcultures, where premarital sex and cohabitation is forbidden …
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/23 11:10 PM
7

I would recommend reading this post and the discussion in its comments: How class affects male preferences
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/23 01:49 AM
7

INFO: Can you clarify the timeline? When did he start watching FNF in relation to your pregnancy? Have these 4 rules been established throughout your entire relationship, or are they recent, and if so what caused it? And when did he "violated them at least once"?
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/23 07:26 AM
8

I believe FNF stands for Fresh&Fit The fact he will tell you that you aren't marriage material is him being upfront and direct that he sees no long term future with you I will add a small caveat here in that it would be useful to know what exactly about her he considers as not marriage material. If it something immutable, like her sexual history then the dire predictions are accurate. If it relates to character traits, like her being "masculine" and her telling him what to do then we can prescri…
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/23 07:16 AM
3

Not every woman wants to be part of a couple at every point in her life. Of course, and I haven't claimed otherwise. The decision of whether to be in a relationship or be single is a product of a variety of factors. We can agree that part of that decision is a cost-benefit analysis. If presented with a high quality man who would be a net benefit to their life, many, not all, but many women would choose to be in a relationship with that man, rather than be single. Older women are less likely to f…
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/23 04:24 PM
1

I would argue that "happy to be single" is a reflection of the state of their dating pool. If you ask older women if they would be happier being single or being in relationship with their celebrity crush, most would choose the latter option. Thus "happier to be single" can be more accurately described as "I cannot find a partner who would be a net positive in my life". Indeed, their dating pool is in a rather poor state: quality men tend to get married and stay married, lower life expectancy tak…
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/23 09:03 PM
2

We know the gender ration of alive people to estimate how much lower male life expectancy explains the number of 65+ single women. For example, this is the number of men alive per 100 women in the 2021 USA (source): Age 20: 104.20 Age 30: 102.18 Age 40: 101.48 Age 50: 99.82 Age 60: 95.60 Age: 70: 87.84 Age 80: 78.25 Age 90: 63.18 Age 100+: 33.07 While the gender ratio of alive people has some effect on the gender ratio of single people, it still leaves some peculiarities. The "convenience" of ag…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/23 06:13 PM
6

Pew defines single people as "not married, living with a partner or in a committed relationship". The surplus of single young men is explained by two factors: - age gap relationships - men in relationships with multiple women at the same time The surplus of single older women is explained by two factors: - age gap relationships - men's lower life expectancy I think for purposes of analyzing dating outcomes, the exact reasons for this gender ratio gap are not as important as the fact that this ga…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/23 12:47 PM
35

This is a very simplistic way to look at how the dating economy changes with age. I agree we need to be more encouraging to women who are worried about aging, but that starts with acknowledging and understanding the effects that age has on women's dating prospects. The "wall" happens primarily due to changing gender ratio of single people with age, due to age gap relationships. The ratio of single men to single women has a considerable impact in the dating market. The gender with fewer single pe…
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/23 09:56 AM
3

INFO: Can you elaborate what lead to your most recent break-up such that it ended in blocking? And are you sure for a fact that there was another woman, or is it just intuition?
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/23 05:58 AM
2

Do you also have another kid from previous relationship? I do not know how old you are, so it is hard to prescribe timelines. If you'll choose to move on from your ex, I do not know what the dating pool would look like for someone in your situation. An impression I get about you from your post history is that you seem to be stuck in a "self worth, self care, healing, etc" bubble, in a very unhealthy way. Especially some of the more unhinged posts you made, like this one from a month ago, which I…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/23 09:39 PM
5

Honestly, I’m ready to do whatever it takes. Read all the books, get in the best shape, etc.. Oh, I'm very familiar with the feeling. Love, or rather the pursuit of love can, like nothing else, motivate us to become our best selves. It's a precious feeling and we all should use it wisely. If you haven't already, I would recommend reading through the new Getting Started With RPW checklist and the RPW wiki. And of course, you are very welcome to come back to this sub with more thoughts and questio…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 11:06 PM
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The challenge you describe is not unique to cleaning. Fluctuations between bursts of motivation and stretches of complacency reveals lack of healthy habits. With cleaning, like with any habit, it is useful to break it down into smaller parts and conquer them one by one. For example Fold and put away clothes immediately after changing for 40 days. Clean the dishes immediately after cooking for 40 days. Dust and remove clutter from flat surfaces for 5 minutes before bed for 40 days etc... Break do…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 10:39 PM
26

I see. I would caution you to be careful in understanding male attraction. Sexual attraction is very different from romantic attraction, which in turn is very different from marriageability. I trust that you understand that meeting them and emotionally connecting with them is a low bar to clear. Turning this connection into something sustainable, let alone marriage, is where most women in your position fail. Men like this are not successful by accident. They often are very extroverted and sociab…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 10:14 PM
11

I’ve so thoroughly enjoyed chatting with him that I feel reinvigorated in my search for a high value partner I have chemistry with. My specific taste in men feels validated now that Ive come so close. I’ve decided to delete Hinge and take my search IRL. Can I ask what has changed specifically now that you have met him? What does it mean to have your taste in man "validated"? And can you define "Ive come so close"? It does not look like you have acquired anything close to commitment from him? Ple…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 09:04 PM
20

You made several posts here 8-9 months ago that are now deleted. Is this the same man? You used to be in a sugar relationship, do you still have the same dynamic? You are a young model and he is a rich dude with cash to burn. Like with your previous posts, you omit so much information that is necessary for us to understand your situation. Can you describe what is the subject of his lecturing? Is he trying to get you to quit modeling?
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/23 08:46 PM
20

Edit: OP, your latest comment reveals a lot of new information, and I no longer consider my original response relevant. At risk of getting too theoretical, his behavior is a form of what is known in the field of evolutionary psychology as "mate retention tactic". Source: From vigilance to violence: Mate retention tactics in married couples. David Buss has a book When Men Behave Badly: The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment, and Assault which covers violence as a form of male mate reten…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/23 02:51 AM
3

Look, you are worrying about being rejected for factors that you cannot change. This is an unhealthy insecurity. I'm not a fan of "know your worth" type of advice, but you could benefit from some of that, because to be frank, your low self esteem is a far bigger turn off than your kissing history.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/23 02:00 AM
7

As other have said, how would he know about it? However, for the sake of the argument, let's assume he does know about your "kissing" history, perhaps from seeing you do it, or hearing rumors about it, etc. The turn off isn't the kissing itself, but the potential reasons that lead you to do it. Are you susceptible to peer pressure? Do you surround yourself with friends that encourage that kind of behavior? Do you have low self esteem? Were you kissing those men because you enjoyed the attention …
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/23 12:53 AM
8

I appreciate your response, and I do stand corrected. He always expected me to use his name Does he still want it? If the marriage timeline was a direct response to the last name question, isn't his opinion on the last name question the very first point of investigation? Yet, as I said earlier, we have heard nothing about his current position on the matter. When "the timeline started to crumble" you talked to him about marriage (the solution) rather than the name (the problem). His reaction was …
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/23 08:39 PM
27

I accused you of covert contracts in your first post, I'm afraid I'll have to do this again. First of all, I do not have nearly enough information to give any legitimate advice, so I'm playing devil's advocate here, not because I think it is the right position to take, but because this discussion would be much more useful than just saying "he is wrong!". I have a strong feeling there has been a very noticeable deterioration in your relationship in the past 6 months, going from you being optimist…
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/23 04:51 PM
5

First of all, I very much appreciate your honesty in your response. Admitting our own mistakes is a very important part in using our past experiences for future growth. Most people here will tell you some variation of the same old "raise your standards", "have more self respect", or "you need to learn to vet better". But you and I both know that this is not that simple, and that real solutions lie much deeper. Now, I do not mean to pry, and you do not need to answer these questions, but if you w…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/23 04:47 PM
10

I feel like you are leaving some information out. You said you started dating this man 5 months ago, yet, 4 months ago you made a post on datingover30 subreddit titled "Feeling guilty about dating while having a fuck buddy…". feminism has ruined the possibility of a ‘traditional’ relationship and completely stripped men of what they actually want from a woman (purity/commitment due to evolutionary needs to ensure paternity of any offspring created). If this comment by him was made in a vacuum, t…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/23 02:16 PM
13

I by no means suggest that you have shown him negative traits, not least because I have no reasons to suspect that there are any. My comment was targeted at the person I as replying to, to argue that it is not a red flag to determine something is a deal breaker 10 months after knowing about it. But to answer your question, I would guess, and please do know that this is just a guess, his concern isn't your intentions, but agency. Like a questionable employment history makes a woman question a man…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/23 02:09 PM
9

I think that really depends on why he finds her sexual history objectionable. I think often, it is not the history itself, but the things that it tells about their partner, that the person struggles with. For example, if you are dating a man with a questionable employment, it is not his job that is the issue, but rather his other derivative traits, such intelligence, work ethic and ambition that are suspect. And while his job is not a deal breaker in and of itself, it might take you 10 months to…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/23 01:29 PM
25

I had this discussion here recently. I think men ask about sexual history because of the advice women give each other on this subject. I think this falls into a broader question of "Does your partner have the right to know about the unflattering parts of your past?". For example, for things like past marriages and addiction history, we generally say that our partners have the right to know about them, and it is our responsibility to bring up these parts of our past without them asking. And as a …
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/23 01:09 PM
7

I do not disagree with your advice, and as I said it is excellent advice for certain situations, but not all situations. We have to give conditions and qualifications to all advice, because rarely is anything universal. We fall into the typical "pre-commitment vs post-commitment risk" debate. The logic on "should you live together before engagement" is the same as "should you have sex before commitment". And the answer is always "it depends on the kind of man you are dating". The largest variabl…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/23 08:31 PM
3

I do not know where you are, what your religion is, or what "mostly not secular" and "moderately practicing" means. Is waiting for sex until engagement a common dating practice, because from what you describe it probably isn't. When you impose requirements that deviate from cultural norms, your partner will want to understand what motivates you to do so. In absence of moral or religious justification, what are they supposed to think? It will appear like some form of avoidant attachment or abando…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/23 07:22 PM
13

From your earlier post about sexual history and your other posts, I get a feeling you are somewhat uncomfortable with your dating potential. In this post, you question your own preferences. But these preferences are very normal and very common. According to most studies on sexual history preferences, very few women are comfortable with men with 100 previous sexual partners, and the ideal hovers around 3-4. Most women prefer to form a deep emotional connection before having sex with a their first…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/23 06:44 PM
5

it is so much easier to break up, if you're not on a lease together Cohabitation allows for addition vetting before marriage. Yes, moving out is difficult, but not as difficult as divorce. If you don't live together, he doesn't get you cleaning his house, caring for him around the clock when he's sick, cooking for him every night, doing his grocery shopping The value a man places on domestic support varies greatly by age and socioeconomic background. In my social circle, mostly upper middle clas…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/23 04:16 PM
37

I would caution unmarried women when reading threads like this to be aware of selection and survivorship bias. Selection bias: Responses will skew on the shorter side, because women who were proposed to sooner are more likely to "brag" about it. Those who dated for many years before getting the ring are likely to stay quiet. Survivorship bias: There are examples of women who set up deadlines/ultimatums for marriage. Those who succeeded are likely to talk about it. In situations where such approa…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/23 05:08 AM
27

There are two great posts by u/SunshineSundress For early relationship stages: Incremental Reciprocation: How to Minimize Risk While Being Vulnerable and Submissive. For later stages: Why Buy the Cow When He Can Get the Milk For Free...? Right...? Her is a snippet: For modern healthy relationships, creating self-imposed, artificial, and arbitrary restrictions on how much you submit, give your love emotionally or sexually (unless both you and your SO are bound by religion or strong TradCon values…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/23 04:44 AM
8

There are studies that show that mothers of sons tend to be critical of promiscuity when evaluation a potential daughter-in-law, i.e. a mother of her future grandchildren. These are, obviously, not motivated by jealousy or insecurity, but by rational concerns. I think that the the number of sexual partners is a useful metric because, when combined with the number of previous LTRs, a simple arithmetic reveals the number of casual sex partners a woman has had. Moral and religious values aside, I t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/23 04:32 AM
0

Yes, I think the "bear the guilt" becomes the default choice for many couples once they become serious, even if they do not explicitly discuss it. At what stage did you reach this agreement? I suspect in the early stages of dating, if infidelity were to occur, you would have been more keen on knowing the truth?
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/23 04:24 PM
2

What if we take it further than virginity? Virginity is not the default assumption. Most men assume that the woman they are dating has, statistically, a modest sexual history. What if her sexual history is in fact not at all modest? Is it her responsibility to correct him? The reason OP did not ask her man if he was married before is the same reason many men do not ask a woman about her sexual history. It is not because they do not care, but because they assume the answers are a "no" and low num…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/23 04:03 PM
2

I think Sunshine's question is the double standard in acceptability of omitting unflattering history. From your own words: His claim that he doesn't have to share things he's not comfortable with is absolute bullshit I think a man or woman absolutely has the right to want to know their partner's history, just as their partner has the right to not wish to discuss it If a man is uncomfortable discussing his unflattering relationship history, it is "absolute bullshit". If a woman is uncomfortable d…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/23 02:32 PM
1

I recently had a somewhat similar discussion in regards to sexual infidelity. If one partner commits infidelity, do they disclose it to their partner? Likewise, both options can be rationalized: Pro-disclosure. The other partner has the right to know the truth and to decide if they want to continue the relationship. Anti-disclosure. Disclosing would cause emotional pain to the other partner and harm the relationship. The unfaithful partner should take responsibility and bear the guilt, and not h…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/23 12:11 PM
24

I agree with you that there is considerable value in having a trusted third party opinion during partner selection. The challenge we have in modern culture is our shifting attitudes about the purpose of human connection, away from practical utility, and towards emotional fulfillment. This has had a significant impact on the criteria people use to choose friends and romantic partners. And it is the changing nature of friendships that is of interest to this discussion. Given that many modern frien…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/23 03:30 AM
13

I feel sad for men in his situation. From the way you describe him, he does seem like a decent person who wants to do a right thing, but like many young men today, he does not have enough life experience to be able to separate good ideas from bad ones, which lead him to adopt the beliefs that he has. I am, more often that not, hopeful that such men will eventually be able to arrive to healthier understanding of gender dynamics. Whether or not you want to be part of that journey is for you to dec…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/23 02:02 AM
6

Oh, I saw you state you were 32 in a post 10 months ago. At least, that puts the "peak of attractiveness is 24-26" in perspective. Still, do you know if he has or had healthy female influence in his life? Mother, sisters, female friends, previous relationships? I am trying to understand if these beliefs are just a "phase" he is going through because he watched too much youtube, or they are rooted in previous bad experiences.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/23 01:00 AM
28

It is worrying that he is in his mid 30s (I assume) and holds these beliefs. Most "anger phase" RP men are 25 and under, with little real-world dating experience, and thus tend to get radicalized easily. Most (I hope) eventually mellow down, and become reasonably healthy benevolent sexists. I am curious about this man's dating history and his family. I cannot imagine someone who has or had healthy relationships with women (family, female friends, girlfriends) to adopt such radical set of beliefs…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/23 12:47 AM
125

Am I ignoring red flags? Yes are these normal things for a man to say to a woman? No
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/23 12:28 AM
16

I label such advice as jaded in that it is overly cautious. It reminds me of a man who claims he is not jaded because he "never experienced being strung-along because I dropped every girl who did not sleep with me by the third date". I think few here will disagree that such attitudes are jaded. isn't going to work for our generation for what should be obvious reasons It is not obvious to me what these reasons are. Perhaps you could elaborate? I do not think that generational differences are high…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 08:05 AM
20

I do not think there is a one-size-fits-all answer here. Can you describe what is BP about their relationship other than arguing? Arguing is a category of problems where, I believe, more mainstream relationship literature is a better solution than RP. For example, books like The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by the Gottmans is highly useful in troubleshooting common communication problems many couples have. If your intention is to help them "fix" their relationship, or at least help …
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 07:39 AM
21

This is an unjustified and jaded prescription. Telling a woman to not "waste time on a man who does not propose in N years" is akin to RP men who say not "waste time on a woman who does not have sex in N dates". Such warnings have too many false positives to be useful. Many current and former Endorsed Contributors on this sub have husbands they met in their early 20s and married in their late 20s, after several years of dating. OP seems to be very happy in her relationship and points out their s…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 07:22 AM
10

I think it is normal to be worried about the effects aging might have on the strength of your relationship. I would dare speculate that such anxiety is caused by an uncertainty about the degree to which sexual attraction plays in holding your relationship together. Certainly, if by some magic spell, you would immediately transform into middle aged woman today, your boyfriend will some hesitations about the future of your relationship, because sexual attraction at this age and stage is major part…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 07:15 AM
14

They were casually talking about how “life is so short” and how they can’t “shut off the wandering eye”. They’ll always be wondering if the grass is greener, etc You did not put the "grass is greener" in quotation marks. Did they actually say it, or are you paraphrasing? it hurts to know that he feels no real shame in the urge or empathy to how it could hurt me I would not rush to this conclusion. He said this in belief of privacy, and I'm sure would never say this in your presence, knowing that…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/23 06:59 PM
10

Relevant reading material from RPW wiki: the Art of the Bad Excuse
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/23 06:51 AM
22

God, rereading some of my own comments, I realize how needlessly argumentative they are. Forgive me and let me try again. It is very normal to be worried about the marriage timeline after 7 years. I do not know the full dynamic of your relationship that makes you doubt he will deliver on his promise. You are worried about his inaction, or more specifically that this inaction is a symptom of his lacking commitment to your relationship. It very well maybe true, but it is too soon to jump to that c…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 07:40 PM
28

He gave you his timeline, which is summer, to which you agreed and he has not shown any intention to break this agreement. I always thought he would propose with a few months to spare Has he told you that this is his plan as well? If not, this is a covert contract, and you should not be upset if he does not fulfill it. My Mother advised me to stop playing wife for him. Let him buy the cow first and all that. That was 6 months ago. I stopped making breakfast or welcoming him home as a king. This …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 05:40 PM
5

I think your location and culture of the people around you is important part of the conversation. A lot of people on this subreddit are Americans, and life choices that make sense for you might not make sense for them. Also, your Russian is very good, I have mistaken you for a native speaker.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 07:26 PM
28

I think your priority should be to ensure your long-term financial security, with or without marriage. Worrying about "using men for money" or "feeling empty" should come much later. Like you, I also come from a Russian-speaking family. The attitudes towards "kept women" and stay at home wives in my home country is considerably different than where I'm now in the coastal US. I do not know where you live or the cultural attitudes towards these type of relationships that you and the men around you…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 07:15 PM
60

From your post history, your are 20 year old model and work jobs that require youth and beauty. I think the career related advice for you would be considerably different than someone who, for example, is in medical school. The danger with becoming trophy wife is loss of future career potential. But given the kind of jobs you work, and, please correct me if I'm wrong, lack of investment in alternative career paths, I can see why men want you to quit work and why such relationships are appealing t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 05:09 PM
6

I think you are straw-manning my point, which is that you cannot settle this question with just theory. You need to go on dates and evaluate your options one by one. There is useful bit of mathematics called Optimal Stopping Theory, sometimes called a Secretary problem. There is a TED Talk by Hannah Fry about it. I'll quote: So the math says then that what you should do in the first 37 percent of your dating window, you should just reject everybody as serious marriage potential. And then, you sh…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 03:05 AM
7

Then may I ask why you are interested in having a list of requirements? Checklists of this kind are useful for women with very high availability (usually early-mid 20s women), who have more options that they have time to go on dates with, so they use a checklist to narrow down their pool of options. If you do not have all that many qualified candidates to pick from, you should get to know all of them and then pick the best one. No checklist necessary.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 02:41 AM
8

I do not think you should lower your standards. My point is that you need to assess the level of availability and competition you have in the marriage market. Trying to come up with a list of requirements in a vacuum is like trying to determine the sale price of a house without knowing the neighborhood it is in or the macro-economic conditions of the real estate market.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 02:30 AM
8

Standards a woman can realistic have are limited by availability and competition. Availability: how many men that meet her criteria she has access to? Competition: how likely that a man of that caliber will choose her as his forever-after, and not just "good enough for now". For example, 4+ inch height requirement has much lower availability and much higher competition for a woman who is 5'8 than a woman who is 5'2, thus the taller woman is far more likely to end up compromising on height than a…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 02:19 AM
4

I think the asymmetry of investment has to be determined from each individual's unique abilities and constraints within the relationship, rather than some general rule of what "husbands should do" or "wives should do". For example, if the husband is working a very mentally taxing job, it is fair for him to be less mentally invested in his wife's hobbies but still support her hobbies in other ways, for example financially. In turn, the stay-at-home wife can support her husband in his hobbies in w…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/23 07:29 PM
17

I do not think it is "red pill" to give dumb answers to dumb questions. The Male Red Pill theory identifies two type of tests women throw at men: shit tests and comfort tests. The former tests his frame, the latter his commitment. It is a common error for husbands who are new red pill to mistake comfort tests for shit tests, responding with indifference to their wives' plea for connection, often with severe consequences to the health of the marriage. I'm afraid the situation you describe in your…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/23 08:26 AM
1

If a guy sleeps with you on the first date, and no longer likes you, he is not going to like you any more if you had made him wait five dates before having sex I will disagree on this one point. I think depends on the reasons why he "no longer likes her". It is possible for a woman who is liked by a man to not be taken seriously by sleeping with him too soon. Men who judge women for sleeping too soon with them, do not do so by the number of dates she waited, but by the amount of vetting she has …
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/23 12:12 AM
15

He was upfront about his sexual history during their initial talk. They both ended the conversation believing the other was honest and both accepted each others' pasts. This should have been the end of it. But it wasn't, because she was not honest. Hence why he was the only one questioning her. If she suspected that he was also lying to her, she would have every right to ask further questions to determine both the reasons and the extent of his dishonesty. I agree his tone was needlessly harsh. B…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/23 09:50 PM
2

Men who judge women for sleeping too soon with them, do not do so by the number of dates she waited, but by the amount of vetting she has done before getting intimate. Many men loose respect for women who make irresponsible sexual choices. Being responsible means taking the time to verify that the man she is physically intimate with is who he says he is, and not a fake caricature that many men pretend to be in the early courting stages in order to get into a woman's pants. What "dooms" the relat…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/23 08:45 PM
28

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. i’m really not a hoe, and have only slept with either bfs or a guy i had talked to for over a year, and each one was 2 years a part i have a low body count The number of men you have had sex with is low. i’m wondering if i actually have to answer the bj thing or how to answer it that doesn’t make it seem like i’m trying to hide or don’t want to talk about it bc it’s a high # However the number of men you had oral sex with is high. he said he didn’t ca…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/23 08:07 PM
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