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SylviaToday Archive

View 2 posts and 91 comments by SylviaToday on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

DISCUSSIONSylviaToday/r/RedPillWives22/03/18 02:12 PM
7

ADVICESylviaToday/r/RedPillWives17/10/17 07:52 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

I think she means that boys ought to be taught how much effort housework entails, so that they'll be more appreciative of their wives eventually, and more open to the idea of their wife staying at home. Some men really don't understand what goes into housekeeping and can't understand why any women would stay home rather than go into the work force.
/r/RedPillWives15/04/18 02:21 PM
1

I think the only truth in this article is that some women DO feel really pressured by some Pinterest ideal of what family dinner should look like, and they drive themselves crazy trying to achieve an impossible goal. I almost always cook dinner (and breakfast) but it's often a simple meal. And I'm not going to lie, my kids aren't perfect and they do complain about having to eat their spinach. And we don't always look camera-ready. For me, it's obvious that I should cook dinner because it's what …
/r/RedPillWives12/04/18 11:38 PM
3

Why does your husband get frustrated when he sees that you're in pain? Is that maybe his way of expressing concern? Maybe it would help if you talked to him about ways he can help you out (at least for now) with some of your duties? Or maybe he would be okay with a merrier house while you heal?
/r/RedPillWives07/04/18 02:37 PM
1

I think there's a whole spectrum of "complaining" which can go from the negative to the positive. On the negative side obviously there is nagging, whining, and pointless criticism. Basically negative complaining is when you dentify a problem and obsess over it but don't really do anything to fix it. On the other end of the spectrum is positive complaining -- political activism for example, is basically a big complaining session. But it brings people together and can be a super optimistic, bondin…
/r/RedPillWives29/03/18 01:59 PM
1

This is so helpful, thank you!! I will spend some time thinking this over.
/r/RedPillWives27/03/18 05:09 PM
2

Yes thank you -- when I think about it, I think a big part of the problem is my tendency to be a bit of a doormat sometimes. Like I tend to think i don't have the right to be upset about things unless they're pretty bad, so I come up with a laundry list of problems in order to feel that I'm "allowed" to be upset. I do this with friends and family too. Such a destructive habit.
/r/RedPillWives26/03/18 12:41 PM
3

Thanks! I do try to express myself in the moment but sometimes I fall off the bandwagon. I don't know why it is so easy to cultivate bad habits and so tough to make the good habits stick! Gottman sounds interesting, I'll check it out.
/r/RedPillWives22/03/18 08:54 PM
2

I love this!! We used to do more like this and this is a great reminder to bring it back. I've gotten way too heavy handed about stuff.
/r/RedPillWives22/03/18 06:05 PM
4

I think you and u/whitebunny87 are arguing about apples and oranges here. Youre both right. Yes, a family CAN manage on a small income in a major city -- I am loving proof of that, and sounds like you are too. But it takes lots of motivation and sacrifice. In my case, we do it so that I can be home with our kids and my husband can work in the field he loves. But in OP's case, it seems like her main motivation is anxiety about college and the working world. Which doesn't seem like a great place t…
/r/RedPillWives11/03/18 07:20 PM
4

I wouldn't call it selfish, but are you sure you're not just reacting to the stress of your senior year? We used to call this "senior slump" in my overacheiving high school, and it was a real thing. Maybe take a little time to relax and then re-evaluate. Housekeeping is important, but it's also good to be able to earn an income. Not every job will make you miserable: there are plenty of jobs out there where you can earn a good living and avoid the rat race. Besides, more and more women meet thei…
/r/RedPillWives10/03/18 07:54 PM
1

Can I just say, I saw your response to Stingray and your hobbies sound awesome. I don't know much about home courses of study for the arts...but if you're interested in art history, I think Yale and a number of other big universities have put up free videos of entire lecture series. They normally put up the freshman-level classes, the ones held in giant auditoriums, so you mainly just get the professor speaking.
/r/RedPillWives08/03/18 09:44 PM
1

Can I just say, I saw your response to Stingray and your hobbies sound awesome. I don't know much about home courses of study for the arts...but if you're interested in art history, I think Yale and a number of other big universities have put up free videos of entire lecture series. They normally put up the freshman-level classes, the ones held in giant auditoriums, so you mainly just get the professor speaking.
/r/RedPillWives08/03/18 09:44 PM
4

I guess how you structure your day really depends on how your job is structured. How much control do you have over your schedule? Could you organize things so that you have whole days off, or whole afternoons off? Or is it more like you always have to be on call but there isnt much work to do most of the time? In the first case, I'd take myself out on trips, exploring parts of town I hadn't seen in a while. Museums, parks, landmarks, whatever. Learn history, talk to people, help the needy. In th…
/r/RedPillWives08/03/18 03:02 PM
7

Interesting. I didn't like that Guardian cartoon either. I think this article is good but I also think it could be a bit more understanding... working women have it really tough, especially working mothers. It is really tough to be out in an office all day and then come home to cook, clean, and take good care of small kids. The working mothers I know tend to be really frazzled, unless they have super involved husbands or earn enough money to outsource most of the labor. The article talks about h…
/r/RedPillWives08/03/18 12:59 AM
3

I read my kids a fairy tale this morning about a handsome shepherd and 12 princesses. All the princesses but the youngest one teased the shepherd. My son said "He's going to marry the youngest princess. I wouldn't want to marry anyone who taunted me." So simple!! But I don't think I truly understood that idea until I was about 25. Glad my daughter is hearing this stuff now :)
/r/RedPillWives07/03/18 06:31 PM
1

This is so interesting! I wonder if taking hormonal birth control earlier in life also affects women's fertility later in life. Anecdotally, I've heard people say that it's harder to conceive after having had an abortion. I am not Catholic myself but I've read about, and love, the Catholic ideal of being open to life. Our bodies are so linked to our emotions that I wonder if that attitude makes women more fertile :)
/r/RedPillWives06/02/18 10:03 PM
10

As most people have said, the ideal time to have babies is in your 20s. Of course, we don't live in an ideal world. Our economy is such that it takes longer and longer for people to get married, establish themselves in stable jobs, and buy homes. So, many women postpone having babies. I was 32 when I had my first, and I have friends who waited even longer. I don't think it particularly helps to shame women who wait until their 40s, though. Or to make assumptions about them. In Uma Thurman's case…
/r/RedPillWives04/02/18 08:42 PM
2

Congratulations!! I felt a bit this way too and honestly, the first 6 months or so of babyhood were pretty tough. I am an older mother (I was 32 when I had my first) so I had worked full time for years before I quit to raise my kids. My job was fun, my colleagues were interesting, and I felt appreciated and rewarded. I'm not going to lie -- it was tough going from that setting to suddenly feeling incompetent and overwhelmed by a baby! But you know, I got through it, and I came out on the other s…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/18 06:07 PM
2

Sounds like you're taking great care of yourself! For me, working out (in moderation) made pregnancy a lot easier. And I agree, talking to your husband makes sense. He might already have some inkling that you're having a tough time, so talking it over might help him make sense of it all.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/18 12:40 AM
2

Oh true! Good point. I guess I was thinking she might not be as good at hiding her feelings as she thinks she is. Either way, whether her husband knows or not, in my opinion it's a good idea to tell him if she's having a tough time.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/18 12:37 AM
1

Maybe she just means that he's probably already noticed! I mean, most people would notice if their SO became totally moody and emotional. He might be feeling concerned and just not know what to do about it or how to help.
/r/RedPillWives01/02/18 12:02 AM
3

You're not going crazy at all -- you're pregnant! Mood swings are normal. See if you can find a way to tell your husband about this without just dumping your feelings on him, if you know what I mean -- it's a tough balance. And look for healthy outlets -- like walking, drawing, whatever. This will pass!
/r/RedPillWives31/01/18 09:37 PM
9

In general I prefer the women's version too! But sometimes I read mrp and feel a twinge of jealousy at their style of self-improvement. It all seems so straightforward and self-sufficient! Whereas our side of things is always about relationships and deference.
/r/RedPillWives24/01/18 11:54 PM
5

I love reading home-making blogs but honestly, I get cranky and overwhelmed if I try to follow a cleaning schedule. So every day, I make sure that I get the basics done -- wash dishes, wipe down kitchen surfaces and table, sweep floors, quickly pick up the house, make beds, and do a quick clean of the bathroom. (Kids have to put away their toys and things, and I'm getting them started on other chores.) Then, every day I tackle one bigger cleaning project -- deep cleaning the kitchen, washing flo…
/r/RedPillWives20/01/18 03:02 PM
3

It sounds like you two are kind of struck in a bad dynamic, where you're always asking him to spend more time with you and he's always feeling pressured. I totally understand that you want to feel connected but you might be going about this the wrong way. I mean, most people would NOT react well to having their spouse anxiously monitoring their time. What is he doing during his time alone? Can you join in it sometimes? Can you find a shared activity and schedule times to do it together? Can you …
/r/RedPillWives16/01/18 03:59 PM
6

How much vacation time does your job offer? Could you take a month off every year and go somewhere warm and sunny? I have an aunt who suffers a lot in the winter and that's what she does. My uncle joins her for at least part of the time. She normally goes away in February or sometime a little earlier, once the holiday season is well over. Editing to add that I've heard it's really good for your mood to spend some time outside each day. Can you get into ice skating, or snow shoeing, or cross coun…
/r/RedPillWives09/01/18 05:56 PM
7

I think It's better for a country to strive towards meritocracy and upward mobility. The class you're born into doesn't have to be your destiny.
/r/RedPillWives06/01/18 02:41 AM
8

I didn't really understand why he thinks upper class people should be having more children? As long as someone is having kids, why does it matter who?
/r/RedPillWives06/01/18 12:36 AM
1

I love talking about planning too! My system is very very simple. Every morning while I have my coffee, I make a list of every single thing I have to do that day. I mean everything -- even "wash dishes" and "make plans for coffee with so and so"! I have a notebook where I write down more long-term plans too, but my daily lists are what keep me on track. I have a lot of different things to take care of every day and I find that without my list, I have a tendency to spin my wheels, get overwhelmed…
/r/RedPillWives02/01/18 11:51 PM
7

I totally agree about the importance of some mystery and playfulness but I don't think that necessarily has to mean physical distance. For me at least, my husband is totally irresistible when we spend time together outside of our house, away from our kids, out of our usual routine. This could mean a date, or just a quick lunch, or visiting him at work. Any setting that will make us both be "on" and charm each other, like the old days :)
/r/RedPillWives02/01/18 11:43 PM
6

Find time for prayer or meditation at least a few times a week. Drink less coffee. Don't waste so much time on the internet. Write more. Get better at time management and organization -- but find a way to do this WITHOUT going overboard and turning into my own annoying drill sergeant. Get more one on one time with everyone in my little family.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/18 02:43 PM
2

Hmm. Let me try to explain what I mean. In the example I gave, it really seemed like the man's main goal was not to protect his girlfriend, but to give himself power over her emotions. I agree with you, it would make sense to expect a daily phone call, or two calls, or whatever while he is away on business. What he did, though, was set things up so that if she made the call even half an hour late, he would blame her for jeopardizing his entire business trip. To me, this gave him inordinate power…
/r/RedPillWives28/12/17 02:46 PM
5

Interesting question! I think my husband is at the extremely mild end of the leadership spectrum. He's a naturally compelling, dynamic man, and I follow his lead because I want to be wherever he is, and i want to please him. Even when he's dealing with the kids, his leadership is quitr mild and they generally fall in line quickly, maybe after he teases them or gived them a few firm words. This suits me down to the ground. I would hate to be the leader in a relationship but I would also probably …
/r/RedPillWives26/12/17 10:42 PM
3

I've just learned that we are having unexpected (but very very welcome) guests for Christmas dinner. Now I'm not sure what to make. We have a big dinner party planned for Christmas Eve with lots of heavy food. I'd planned to make Christmas dinner very light, but does anyone have any ideas on how to still make it feel festive and special? So that our guests don't feel like they missed out on our main event? My husband doesn't really like seafood, otherwise I'd have gone with that...
/r/RedPillWives20/12/17 02:29 PM
3

She's an unusual person, but she is hardly the only lesbian -- or the only mannish woman -- in the world. She's not a martian, she's a functioning part of society. So for her to put herself on the outside looking in is a weird choice. Especially since she seems to define what "normal" means quite narrowly. Anyway. I really shouldn't be talking so much because I don't know much about her! I guess to be honest, the video disappointed me, I've always heard good things about her and I wanted to like…
/r/RedPillWives18/12/17 12:45 AM
6

I hear you, but I think she ought to come up with a more complex theory then -- ideally, a theory which doesn't posit HER as the exception to every rule! Aside from the issue of male and female roles, she is also a second generation college professor bashing universities and idolizing the working class. Academics love to idealized the working class -- it all feels a bit facile and, in her case, makes me sad for her. She seems to dislike herself.
/r/RedPillWives16/12/17 06:06 PM
7

Super weird to watch such, an intense, driven, half-manic woman talk about how women are content just to nurse their babies and live peacefully!! I've always wanted to create, and change things, and think and dream. There are lots of feminine ways to achieve that.
/r/RedPillWives16/12/17 02:29 AM
15

I have to admit, I feel a little bewildered reading this. I'm not saying it isn't true, but it is just so far from my experience. I do know women who were physically abused by their husband, and I've seen what a struggle it was for them to recover from that. On the other hand I don't know anyone who has pretended to be abused. Again, not saying it never happens. But the article feels a little overblown, like it's insisting on the idea of invented abuse. I agree that our culture does vilify men a…
/r/RedPillWives14/12/17 06:13 PM
3

Maybe you were trying to please him in the wrong way? Maybe youre setting up the wrong expectation in your own mind? Sometimes I do stuff that I think will delight my husband and I am totally off the mark. He doesn't really need me to rearrange the closets for example and would be much happier if I sat down and hung out with him. I agree that it's important to take care of yourself but ideally that shouldn't conflict with pleasing your SO.
/r/RedPillWives12/12/17 05:25 PM
3

What kinds of gestures does your husband appreciate? Are there certain meals / treats he loves? Would he get a kick out of being taken to a concert, or going on a trip? For me, I used to try to buy the ideal romantic gifts until I realized that my husband does NOT buy himself everything he needs. So I just pay attention to what he needs and buy that, in the best quality version I can find. It sounds plain but he has been so happy and touched by simple things like new bathrobe, thermos, etc. Then…
/r/RedPillWives12/12/17 01:58 AM
3

That makes a lot of sense :) So it sounds like he has a plan for dealing with the work and financial issues and, even if he's not addressing it in your way, he has it under control. I know it's hard but can you try not to fret about that? I'm an introvert too and totally need my time alone. Can you say that to him? Or, if that would hurt his feelings, can you tell him that you're working on something and you need to concentrate on it? I find it's sometimes easier for people to understand "sorry,…
/r/RedPillWives03/12/17 08:10 PM
3

I feel for you: you must be a bit overwhelmed. What is it that you are most upset about? I think you've posted here before about your SO not working as much as you'd like him to. Is that a big concern? You mention it but then you kind of bury it. It sounds like he's been through a lot and you want to be as supportive as possible and that's beautiful. That doesn't mean that you have to turn a blind eye to bad behavior. Be honest with yourself, figure out what is bothering you. You don't have to a…
/r/RedPillWives03/12/17 06:06 PM
6

Hi! Whose idea was it for you to stop working? Did HE want that, or was it your idea? I don't think red pill necessarily means for the woman to be at home while the man earns money. Even in my grandmother's generation, some women worked outside the home. You need to figure out what's best for your family, not try to force yourself into a position that might not feel right. Anyway. Maybe I'm totally out of line, if so I'm sorry. Good luck!!
/r/RedPillWives25/11/17 07:56 PM
5

What does your husband contribute to your life? You've listed his good qualities, but they are all kind of abstract. It sounds like you made a trade-off: you went for a man who you're not passionate about and who doesn't necessarily have a strong intuitive understanding of you. So, what are you getting out of that deal? I hope that doesn't sound materialistic or mechanical. We all make trade-offs, sometimes it helps to look at them with a level head! For what It's worth, I think I made the oppos…
/r/RedPillWives21/11/17 06:49 PM
2

Why did you marry him? What are his good qualities? What do you mean when you say he is simple? Does he know that you feel this way? What were things like when you were dating? It's hard to understand your sudden change of heart. If you were never attracted to him, then what changed after marriage to make you suddenly panic? Sorry if I sound unsympathetic. I really don't mean to. It sort of feels like there's more than meets the eye going on here?
/r/RedPillWives21/11/17 03:02 PM
2

I don't like cultural relativism either. We are all fallen, sinning human beings, and every culture gets things wrong. The West wasn't alone in using slaves, although America may have taken it to an extreme...westerners are also not alone in destroying the environment. That said, I find it useful to look back at where my country (America) went wrong. I think it's important to look at our history and work to improve ourselves. Maybe we will never be perfect, but we must always be working with the…
/r/RedPillWives20/11/17 05:53 PM
1

First of all, sorry for the multiple posts!! I'm on my phone and I thought the post wasn't going up, oops. I totally get what youre saying. It's such an interesting issue, thanks for getting me thinking!
/r/RedPillWives17/11/17 04:59 PM
2

I think she is trying to say that she and her SO bond by talking about their days -- and that if she pretends she's had a great day when actually it was tough, they don't get to have that closeness? I don't know, maybe I'm projecting because this is how my husband and I were when we both worked. We had a strong us-against-the-world dynamic because we were both in stressful fields, and we loved talking shop together.
/r/RedPillWives17/11/17 04:24 PM
3

I know you can't feel this yet, but things will get better! I was a bit like you with my first baby -- totally sleep deprived, and embarrassed at my own inability to be perfect. My kids were both colicky and wanted to be held and/or nursed all the time...they were terrible sleepers too. I alternated between taking them out for long walks (the fresh air usually got them to sleep) and having long, cosy cuddles with them on the couch. Visits from my mom and my cousins helped me so much too! Having …
/r/RedPillWives16/11/17 11:43 PM
8

I obviously don't know you or your husband, but I really think you should stop calling him whiny. Even if you're only calling him that in your mind. That's the kind of word I'd use for a 2 year old. Yes, every man has weaknesses and yes, it's good to be aware of them. But using the word "whiny " makes it feel like you're hardening your heart against him.
/r/RedPillWives07/11/17 04:41 PM
1

Yeah, I think you were harsh. Seems like you were really overwhelmed, and worried about your friend, and in the hear of the moment it felt like your husband was demanding attention instead of helping you? I still don't think you should be "delivering feedback" at all, you are his wife not his schoolteacher. Maybe you could have said something like, "I'm feeling sad about my friend and I need some time to myself"? Also maybe you could have asked him for help back when you realized you'd forgotten…
/r/RedPillWives07/11/17 02:55 PM
1

Beans are a great source of protein, as long as they're served alongside a grain. There are endless combinations. Black beans and rice -- split pea soup with soda bread -- chili with tortillas. If you want to add extra calories to the meal, most of those things taste great with a dollop of sour cream. Or add a protein-rich desert. I've been wanting to try ricotta cheesecake...
/r/RedPillWives06/11/17 09:54 PM
4

The advice here is amazing! The only thing I would add is, if he wants to watch a TV show together, embrace that and get into it. Sometimes my husband is tired from work and wants to watch a show together. I used to fret that watching tv didn't "count" as spending time together, and I tried my best to get him to do something more. I wanted him to read out loud with me, paint with me, go on long walks, the stuff we did before kids. But guess what? When we watched the show, it got us talking about…
/r/RedPillWives03/11/17 10:23 PM
8

And she is so NOT bland or boring! What a nice reminder that being feminine also means having a unique sparkle. Thanks for this!
/r/RedPillWives02/11/17 09:49 PM
3

Hi, thanks for that! I agree with your point here. Looking back, I thinking my original wording was off. I was thinking about how sometimes It's useful to TALK things over with a trusted friend. (And you do have to be careful when selecting that friend!) COMPLAIN was the wrong word to use.
/r/RedPillWives01/11/17 12:24 PM
12

I used to be really annoyed at the phrase "emotional labor ", I guess because I had only come across it in a shrill, feminist context. But emotional labor is real. Managing a house is real work and goes beyond simply doing chores. If you have small kids especially, managing a household is pretty demanding. I think the problem arises when you have two parents working full time and the woman is still handling the household management. That scenario seems to almost always create either resentment, …
/r/RedPillWives27/10/17 09:30 PM
3

I guess it depends what kinds of friends we're talking about. I have a few friends who I completely trust to see the good in my husband and remind me of it. And I do the same for them. I really value this. Just the other day one of my friends was saying (gently) that her husband is going away for a weekend with his buddies and she's going to have a tough time with her toddler and baby. The baby has a cold. I know how she feels but I also reminded her that her husband works hard and it will be ni…
/r/RedPillWives27/10/17 07:07 PM
2

I think I see. Mindless complaining is discouraged. But a constructive problem-solving approach is encouraged. Sometimes I see advice here that you should never talk about your relationship issues with your friends, you should only address relationship issues with your SO. And I like the spirit of that but sometimes it kind of helps to talk to trusted friends first just because it puts things in perspective for me. Anyway I guess I am nitpicking here.
/r/RedPillWives27/10/17 02:51 PM
6

I sometimes have issues with the idea of not complaining about our men. I tjink RPW really discourages women from talking about their relationship problems to their friends and families, am I right? On the one hand I really hate the culture of man-bashing and man-blaming that exists. I think I'm super lucky to have my husband and it's great to find other women who feel the same way! But on the other hand, I feel like sometimes, sharing our complaints can be useful because it reminds us that nobo…
/r/RedPillWives27/10/17 02:21 PM
4

I hear you. You're in a tough situation and I know it must be very frustrating. But I guess what I mean is, you might be putting too much mental energy into trying to change your husband. He has to do that for himself. All you can do is focus on your own actions. Honestly, if you didn't have your husband you'd be doing everything that you do now (the childcare, the housework, etc) PLUS you'd be working full time. Does it help to remind yourself of that? Sorry that babysitting isn't an option. Yo…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/17 11:02 PM
4

I understand that you are frustrated but honestly, this post is just one long complaint about your husband. It sounds like you've been focusing on trying to save him from his demons but it is very hard to change another person. In your place I would focus on your own life and how you can make it better. Maybe take one morning to really get your house organized so that you don't feel so overwhelmed. I have 2 kids too and I always feel better when the house is in decent shape! You might also want …
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/17 10:33 PM
5

This is not the same kind of example as in the article, but maybe it's related: I find that sometimes when my husband and I are getting ready to work on a project together, and I see him revving up and feeling excited, I do kind of try to slow him down. He has so much energy and enthusiasm and I love that about him, I benefit from it every day BUT I feel like I have to remind him to work at a sane pace and stop now and then to eat and sleep:) so yes, he experiences an "imphase" in that the thoug…
/r/RedPillWives25/10/17 04:41 PM
5

I think I know what you mean, yes. Kind of an aching emptiness...I had this more when I was younger but it still comes back sometimes. For me, it's a sign that I am lonely for myself; the void can't be filled by other people. I need to spend some time alone, doing creative work, walking, thinking, getting back in touch with myself. I'm not religious but I do pray and that helps. Hope this makes sense!
/r/RedPillWives21/10/17 12:20 PM
1

This is a great way of putting it, thanks.
/r/RedPillWives18/10/17 04:39 PM
1

That is so sweet, I love it.
/r/RedPillWives18/10/17 12:54 AM
3

I've been thinking of hiring a cleaner for times when I'm extra busy! Such a sensible idea.
/r/RedPillWives17/10/17 11:43 PM
2

Thanks! My husband is happy to do things when I ask for them, but I do have to remember to ask. The sticky note idea is cute :)
/r/RedPillWives17/10/17 11:41 PM
4

Yes! Feminism makes housekeeping seem really mundane...and at the same time, feminism seems to be saying that women can't possibly handle the emotional labor aspect of running a household. Okay...
/r/RedPillWives17/10/17 11:03 PM
13

Wow, Thanks! Is it weird that this comment makes me feel kind of liberated? Emotional labor is real, and it is part of home making. Makes sense. Organization is NOT my strong suit but I will work on it.
/r/RedPillWives17/10/17 10:14 PM
3

This is really useful. Most of it is familiar but their description of defensiveness is totally new to me and, of, I am absolutely guilty of this sometimes. Using righteous indignation or innocent victimhood to ward off perceived criticism...I had never put this into words to myself, but I can see it now! Definitely gives me something to think about.
/r/RedPillWives10/10/17 02:31 AM
2

Yes!! I couldn't agree more. Don't take it out on your husband, and don't write articles encouraging other anxious women to think this way! Stop whining and use your spare time to do some yoga :)
/r/RedPillWives03/10/17 08:06 PM
3

So tacky, yes!! I can see where she's coming from wanting a cleaning lady, honestly. I'm a SAHM but, like her, I do some freelance work. I've thought about hiring someone to do the deep cleaning once in a while. Haven't done it but I wouldn't judge anyone who did...on the other hand I WOULD judge someone who turned the whole thing into a feminist diatribe!
/r/RedPillWives03/10/17 07:55 PM
7

I've seen a lot of articles (and one cartoon) about "emotional labor" in the past few months and I can't seem to put into words how very irritating it is. It is almost literally making a problem where no problem needs to be. It's saying, "not only do I need to cook dinner but I need to think about cooking dinner!" Well actually, if you would just get started cooking dinner instead of thinking so much, you'd be halfway done by now... Also, what's up with this trend of using so much "work" jargon …
/r/RedPillWives03/10/17 05:54 PM
3

I'd start out by apologizing: after all, you dragged him out of bed so that he could spend time with you, and then you didn't even have anything to talk about when he was up. If I were you, I'd also tell him that he has to be responsible for getting himself up and out of bed. You are not his alarm clock and it sounds like that's causing conflict between you. Can you arrange a different time, not the morning, when you two can catch up? Shiftwork is tough and it might be over-ambitious to plan on …
/r/RedPillWives02/10/17 07:14 PM
3

I meant to say thanks for this!! It's so accurate and has given me plenty to think about :)
/r/RedPillWives29/09/17 03:14 PM
3

We have many little rituals, some for me and my husband, others for us and the kids. Sunday dinners, Saturday ball games, big weekday breakfasts; read alouds for the family before kids go to bed. My husband and I also take time for ourselves to drink coffee and chat most mornings, and we read the newspaper together and debate politics most evenings :) But for me, it's been important to find joy not only in rituals but in spontaneity. I was raised in a loving but very, very organized and fussy fa…
/r/RedPillWives29/09/17 01:38 PM
2

Thanks for posting this! I love personality theories and have been obsessing over this for days now, ever since reading this post :) According to the free test my primary instinct is sx and I believe my secondary is sp. My husband seems to be so/sx and everything I read about that pairing rings so true... My husband has always been like a breath of fresh air for me; we have a very intense and close relationship but he refuses to get lost in our relationship; he frees me from my sx tendency to bu…
/r/RedPillWives26/09/17 01:46 PM
2

I think you should go for the college experience, and try to have some (healthy, innocent) fun while you're there! It's good to think practically about the future, but your post is so focused on the distant future that it made me sad. Aren't you 18 years old? There's nothing in the post about your happiness...nothing to look forward to besides early retirement and, somewhere in the very distant future, opening a restaurant. I really hope that you just forgot to mention all the joyful stuff, or t…
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 08:13 PM
1

That is a lovely explanation, thank you! I think most of us here are pretty good about showing appreciation but it's nice to have such a clear explanation of why that appreciation is important.
/r/RedPillWives22/09/17 01:09 PM
2

I agree that our society has a lack of respect for men but I don't really see how that has to do with women voting. To me, it seems like a cultural and economic issue, not an overtly legal and political matter, so I can't see what voting has to do with it. Would love to see your explanation!
/r/RedPillWives21/09/17 03:03 PM
3

It's true that lots of men make sacrifices for their families and don't always get the appreciation they deserve...that being said, I think that most good men don't really make a big fuss over their "sacrifices" and would probably cringe at that word. Plenty of women do martyr themselves and sacrifice themselves, usually with lots of melodrama and theatrics. But the men I admire the most do tough work without complaining...they often act as though it's a pleasure, not a sacrifice. I've always th…
/r/RedPillWives21/09/17 01:43 PM
4

Great piece, a pleasure to read! In fairness, I think there's a lack of joy on the left as well. Most of my real-life friends are progressives and they are so, so anxious about life. I was really struck by the author urging people to embrace "reality" and I love that. I don't see enough of that. Everywhere I look, I see people wanting to live in a fantasy life (I mean, I'm totally guilty of this too). I live in a big city but everyone I know wants to raise chicken, drink raw milk, and make their…
/r/RedPillWives16/09/17 01:37 AM
4

Is your husband actually upset about this issue? Your post doesn't say much about his reactions -- it just describes "tension" arpund your incomes. Are you sure you're not the one who's upset? Either way, it sounds like you are working way too hard to try and manage the situation. Working long hours, doing all the cooking and cleaning, initiating sex, and trying to organize activities that promote your roles -- not sure what that means -- it really sounds like you're trying to do all the work he…
/r/RedPillWives02/09/17 07:02 PM
2

Wow, he definitely doesn't sound like he's stuck in a rut! For what it's worth, my husband is also a very dynamic, ambitious guy, although in a very different field. He LOVED that intense period of having babies and toddlers. He would also love to have another kid. I tried reminding him that babies are a lot of work but you know, the man loves work and hates to sleep, so that just made the idea sound more appealing to him. What really changed his mind was : first, realizing that I was very very …
/r/RedPillWives30/08/17 11:23 PM
2

Interesting article! This threw me at first because two of the most popular ladies in my group are super positive and supportive -- they're upbeat, optimistic, and they don't gossip or denigrate others. They're a joy to be around and I am learning a lot from them! But I guess the article is using "nice" to bland and boring, and kind of dishonest, like the "nice guy" who thinks he can get the girl by suppressing his real self. Ugh. So in that case I completely agree.
/r/RedPillWives30/08/17 08:04 PM
3

Do you have any idea why he wants another baby all of a sudden? What's motivating him? Is it family pressure? Peer pressure? Does he miss the days when your kids were little? Does he feel stuck in a rut? Maybe if you knew why he was having baby fever it'd be easier to address?
/r/RedPillWives29/08/17 03:56 PM
7

My dealbreakers would be abuse (of me or the kids), adultery, or substance abuse (unless he was willing and able to treat it). It's hard to give advice without knowing what your disagreement was about. I know for me, I sometimes get waaaay too stressed out when me and my husband disagree about ideas. But it never seems to bother him. And normally, even when may we disagree on the abstract idea, we agree on how to act...if that makes sense...
/r/RedPillWives24/08/17 01:15 PM
3

Yes! I agree 100 percent about the importance of planning. In some cases, that might mean living frugally and paying down debt aggressively before babies are born...in other cases it might mean getting creative about finding work the mother can do from home. I think a lot of people don't plan to have the mother at home because our society doesn't find that important. So a lot of people are discouraged from the get-go. I think more people should write about the real logistics of how to make it ha…
/r/RedPillWives22/08/17 03:42 PM
3

I agree with the article, but with some reservations...that is, I agree that the idea of "balance" as our society imagines it is impossible. And I agree that raising children is a tremendously challenging, rewarding job, far more rewarding than almost any other! I guess I wish the author had made some practical suggestions about how to improve things. I mean, for many families it is just not possible to get by on a single income. Blue collar jobs are being outsourced and ultimately replaces by m…
/r/RedPillWives22/08/17 01:36 PM
2

I know it's tough! Interested to hear other views, but it seems to me that taking care of yourself, keeping your mood up, and cultivating your hobbies will also make you a better partner...I would even say it's fine to neglect the housework a but if necessary. I think most of the time, our men would rather come home to a cheerful SO in a slightly messy house, than a harried SO in a spotless house!
/r/RedPillWives18/08/17 08:58 PM
7

Hi! I'm brand new here, both to RPW and to Reddit. One of the main things I've learned from lurking here is the importance of self-care: and you don't spund like you're looking after yourself enough. It's lovely that you're keeping the house and cooking meals, but are you also finding time for your friends, the gym, your own interests, etc? Are you happy with your job? Are you still studying? Please don't misunderstand me, I believe that relationships are hugely important. But you need to nouris…
/r/RedPillWives17/08/17 08:27 PM
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