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Taters0290 Archive

View 0 posts and 64 comments by Taters0290 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Confronting in person implies you want to work things out. You’re vulnerable, and he will take advantage of that. I love the idea of leaving the still for him to find and ghosting him. That lets him know he’s busted and you don’t care enough to bother confronting him. I’m so sorry this happened.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/25 01:42 AM
2

And they keep picking these types but blame the men. At some point one should note the common denominator.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/25 09:12 PM
5

This is exactly what I was thinking. Women can spot man stealers a mile off. Trust your instincts, OP. Additionally, the fact that he knows this is very disturbing to you and you’ve requested he stop yet he’s continuing behind your back is very disturbing. He lied to you. This is not the behavior of a man who cherishes you and your relationship and puts both before himself. It is the behavior of man who doesn’t care that he is hurting you. My opinion is this is one of those very important things…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/25 03:03 AM
2

You’re welcome!
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/25 08:59 PM
7

There are a lot of online resources these days. I did online therapy for a couple of years and found it identical to in-person therapy. I hope things work out.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/25 09:31 PM
20

OP, is it possible for you to see a therapist alone? It may help you clarify things. I’m sorry this has happened and seems to be happening again.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/25 07:35 PM
2

We were both uncomfortable with this so we made up our own. The ones I used most often were “sweetchims” and “bestie”, which I still use. These days in our 34th year of marriage he’s “hubbles” most of the time though. I felt embarrassed and uncomfortable at first, as he did too, but we kept on and now it’s effortless.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/24 04:59 PM
5

So simple, so difficult. Sometimes it’s 2 steps forward, 1 step back.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/24 01:00 AM
2

Me too. I’m a female INTP married to a male ISFJ. I’m suspicious he’s getting the worse deal here lol. However, I think his being a male tempers a lot of the annoying ISFJ traits and same for my being an INTP female. Cultural expectations have helped me tremendously as a married woman even if I felt like a space alien as a kid and young single woman.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 09:38 PM
3

I knew 2 sisters like this when I was around 18/19 that I still can’t figure out to this day. Lying is the only thing I’ve come up with, but they’d say these things in front of their guys who’d never look shocked. Every boyfriend proposed even at those young ages. If I’m remembering right both were engaged to 3 different guys each (not all at the same time lol) in the couple of years they lived in my locale. It was a huge mystery to my best friend and I. We spent a lot of time trying to figure o…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/24 09:32 PM
1

Regarding the dog have y’all tried doggy daycare? I adopted a similar dog years ago, and doggy daycare saved us both. A lot of stuff we see as bad behavior in dogs is actually too much energy, boredom, etc. You might try asking on a dog subreddit regarding his/her behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 04:01 PM
7

I like Poshmark too. But I had to learn to sew since I wanted to look like neither an adult entertainer or cruise granny. I’d recommend learning this skill as you’ll have total control over what you make.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/23 12:51 AM
4

We started sleeping in separate beds about 20 years ago. Neither of us like to snuggle while sleeping anyway. We then moved to separate bedrooms and love it. I’m a night owl, he’s not. He snores loudly. I toss and turn, flip and flop all night. He used to work shift work, so at one point we were on separate floors. He had a whole living space downstairs-bedroom, living, full bath, etc. It hasn’t affected intimacy one way or another for us.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/23 03:30 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/22 11:57 PM
3

I felt like you, ashamed of it, and actively tried to suppress it. Mine attitude about it is probably related to childhood trauma as much as culture. My husband loves it though and over the years his delight in it has helped me tremendously to see it as something to nurture rather than suppress.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/22 05:00 PM
2

There is an online forum on the subject of caregiving. It’s not from a RPW perspective, but there are a lot of experienced voices there willing to share and help. I don’t think I can post it here, so if you’re interested message me. Last year my mom and I spent 2 exhausting weeks helping my otherwise normal elderly aunt who had turned into Genghis Kahn. This forum helped me see how typical our experience was. Caregiving can suck the very life out of you and your family.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/22 03:43 PM
2

I am. My husband is far more sensitive than I am, especially picking up on others’ feelings. Emotionally I’m a bull in a China shop. Hubby has had to ask me to be more affectionate. I feel affection, it just doesn’t occur to me to express it (I’ve worked hard on learning to do this). I try to at least look more feminine (painted nails, perfume, pretty colors, skirts, long hair) because I feel like a Tyrannosaurus Rex clomping around, stepping on toes, and knocking over furniture and being too lo…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/22 12:10 AM
2

The only way I’d get involved is anonymously, especially if you’ll be living there again. It seems he has a story he tells himself about your mom and the marriage. Do you want to destroy that if it’s his way of coping with a situation he won’t or can’t get out of?? I’d be surprised if he didn’t already know too.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 11:47 PM
7

We started dating when I was 21 and he was 31. I turned 22 a couple weeks later, not that it matters. At that age my peers were still boys, children. My (now) husband owned a home, had a career, stability, didn’t party, etc. We are best friends and have been compatible from day one, for 31 years now. I think similar values and compatibility are far more important than age. We are both introverts who’ve always been on the same page religiously, politically, morally, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/22 07:52 PM
2

Shorts and a t-shirt at home. Jeans or skirts with a t-shirt if I go off. My t-shirts are of various styles, some plain and others with a gathered waist or neckline. I’m currently drafting and sewing myself some simple shirts so I can control the fit. I usually have my hair up (with a ribbon or scarf in it)as I’m extremely hot-natured and can’t stand it wrapped around my neck and down my back. I spritz on fragrance almost every day. I consider it part of my wardrobe.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/22 05:22 AM
16

If he started this only 4 months into your relationship when most couples are still on their best behavior it will only get worse. It sounds like he saw in you a victim he could abuse, back before you began to heal. It sounds like you subconsciously chose an abuser. I grew up in an abusive home too and chose another abuser to marry. It only lasted a year, I never looked back, and I’ve been married to a wonderful man who cherishes me for 31 years now. You deserve to be cherished. Do you feel cher…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/22 03:06 AM
3

It looks to me like you need to set some boundaries with SO regarding his brother (and SO needs boundaries with his brother). He is putting his brother ahead of you. If it was me I’d issue the ultimatum of brother or you and no brother living in the same house. He may choose his brother. He may choose him then realize his mistake. Either way, do you want to spend your life with him knowing you are second in line? I’ve been where you’re at, long ago. I seethed with resentment. Finally, after hub …
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/22 09:21 PM
2

I laughed at that one. If my husband stayed out all night I’d assume he was in the morgue.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/20 03:49 PM
2

I laughed at the OP’s sorcery comment. That’s exactly how it felt to me when I read it decades ago! It was magic! I think I’ll read it again.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/20 10:04 PM
–

I had 3 goals this month. They’re to do emotional/spiritual workbook M-F, exercise on stepper M-F, and housework/packing moving boxes M-W-F. So far I’m sticking to it very well. I’ve surprised myself! My basic goal is to be more consistent and moderate, especially with housework.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/20 05:16 PM
2

You are among annoying friends here! I’ve been working on similar things. I too have discovered how bossy and naggy I am. I’ve improved compared to how I used to be too. Yeesh!
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/20 12:06 AM
2

I think so. I met my husband when I was 21. I turned 22 a couple weeks after our first date. He was 30. He was concerned about the age gap, but I wasn’t. I’d decided boys my age weren’t worth my time. I was specifically looking at older men. He was stable and settled and didn’t party. We’ve been happily married for 30 years. You really have nothing to lose by dating out of your age group.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 05:56 PM
2

Thank you! I’m hoping for the best. I hope your year goes well too.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/19 03:41 AM
3

I’m starting a workbook on getting to the bottom of my emotional/spiritual/other reasons for eating badly. It’s 11 weeks, so I’m preparing myself to see it through to the end. We are having a house built, moving out of and selling this one, and my husband is retiring this summer. I’m looking forward to it all!
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/19 07:22 PM
2

“Alarmed” for reminding me of things. You title your reminder, set it to go off on the date/time you want, how many alerts you want, etc. It’s very customizable. It’s essential for anyone scatterbrained.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/19 09:09 PM
1

I sure hope it works. I’m tired of struggling and failing. Just so you know it’s from a christian perspective. It’s called Lose It for Life: The Total Solution (Spiritual, Emotional, Physical) for Permanent Weight Loss by Stephen Arterburn, Linda Mintle. Edited to say I too have been working on my kitchen habits. I timed it, and on average it takes me 5 minutes to unload the dishwasher. I wasted a lot more than that dreading it!
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/19 04:35 AM
4

My most important goal is to go through an 11-week workbook on breaking my habit of emotional/spiritual eating.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 05:44 PM
2

Toxic In-Laws by Susan Forward. I know technically she isn’t your in-law, but this book will address her personality and give you examples and guidance in dealing with her. The author has other books you may be interested in.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 02:38 AM
6

His response reads like he’s passive aggressively shifting the blame to you, as if you’re being ridiculous. It’s hard to let go of a crush, but you’ll be a lot happier with a man who cherishes you and doesn’t hesitate to let you know he cherishes you. Once you’ve had that you’ll wonder what you ever saw in this guy.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 12:34 AM
1

Oh my. My in-laws aren’t awful, but we have differing senses of humor. I’ve been in that room and made those jokes that were met with that awkward silence. It’s so very uncomfortable. It was very comforting when my hubby sympathized with me.
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 12:13 AM
3

We had a nice quiet day. I was tired and didn’t really want to cook, but he’d mentioned looking forward to it so I did it for him. I’m glad I did because it was very good!
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 12:08 AM
–

The winner this week was a gift from QVC of marinara with meatballs over stuffed shells my mother-on-law sent us. It was delicious. My failure was fresh cranberry sauce. The flavor is awesome, but the cranberry skins are tough.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/19 11:55 PM
16

Good reminders! I’ve been working on my communication skills for so long. I tend to be the blurt-it-out type. My husband is far more sensitive and tactful, which goes over my head. We’ve both had to adjust our communication skills. That’s been a good growing experience for both of us. I’ve had to learn to be more tactful, and he’s had to learn to be less tactful.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/19 03:23 AM
1

I’d never really thought about it, but you’re right. Trust is key. I recognize that I’m very fortunate that I can trust my husband. His Leave It To Beaver parents were very good models, so he learned it well.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/19 05:09 PM
–

I just mentioned this in another post; I’m grateful my husband is dealing with our builder on our house project. I’m so thankful he’s carrying the burden of all the decisions because I sure wouldn’t want to and I’m not even sure I could. I get to make the fun decor decisions. He’s dealing with footers and rooflines and and weather interruptions and things like that.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/19 10:55 PM
8

My marriage instantly became more peaceful due to my arguing coming to a stop. If it’s something I feel strongly about I’ll voice my opinion but tell him it’s ultimately up to him and I’ll support his decision. Since I’m hardheaded I occasionally catch myself nagging or trying to talk him into what I think we should do, and I’ll apologize and tell him I’m trying to stop. I tell him I trust him, he’s always made good decisions, and it’s just my nature to want to be bossy. He appreciates my honest…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/19 10:49 PM
3

Mine is a beef casserole. Fry burger with Italian seasoning. Mix in spaghetti sauce and cooked elbow macaroni. Put in dish, top with cheese, and bake till cheese melts. We also like either Korma or Tikka Masala chicken using a jarred sauce. I brown 4 boneless, skinless chicken thighs, pour sauce over them ,and simmer for 20 minutes. I then throw in cashews and raisins and serve over rice, which I generally have some cooked in freezer or use instant.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/19 08:25 PM
–

I never thought of that, but I’m sure!
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/19 08:56 PM
1

I agree. We are both introverted homebodies. Even at 22 I didn’t care about going out.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/19 01:42 AM
3

What a great story! My husband is the affectionate one. I’ve had to train myself to express with physical affection and words what I’m feeling inside. My love language is acts of service. I’m still feeling the afterglow of him scooping the litterpan for me earlier, lol. He’s amused by this.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/19 08:04 PM
–

I had a rough week. I’m in chronic pain, which gets me down sometimes. I’m thankful I have a loving and supportive family who pray for me. I’m also thankful that in spite of pain daily I can still see and walk and brush my teeth. Sometimes it’s the simple things I’m thankful for.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/19 07:57 PM
4

I can only tell you what I did which was take a pretty hard lined approach regarding age. I didn’t bother dating anyone my age (22), and I had a loose goal of not dating anyone younger than 30. And I rejected older guys for other reasons. Older doesn’t mean mature, lol, right? One guy was 27 (close enough since he ticked other boxes), but on our first date he was snippy with our waitress. Our first date was our last date. A 31-year-old guy was bossy and presumptive. No thanks. I got a temp job a…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/19 07:52 PM
2

This sounds like you need to spend some time just being and getting things sorted out in your head. That doesn’t necessarily mean staying at home if you’re a social person but more keeping your heart to yourself and letting it heal. It’s kind of a cliche but true nonetheless; time sorts out so many things. As time goes by you’ll gain some distance and perspective and be able to see things more clearly than now. Have you considered a support group? I was in one for something unrelated to marriage…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/19 05:55 PM
5

Im sorry it didn’t work out. It’s hard to go through a divorce even if it’s desired. I married at 21 and divorced at 22. We were far too immature. It, however, was a great learning experience for me. I chose to just be for a few months after we separated. My ex was very smothering and controlling, so I really needed that time to relax and enjoy my freedom from his overbearing constant presence in my face. I honestly felt like I’d been let out of prison. I used that time also to ruminate on why I…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/19 05:43 PM
2

My reaction as well. Awesome!
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/19 12:37 AM
30

I can’t address the count issue, but my advice is to reconsider the guys you’re choosing to date. Is it possible you’re subconsciously sabotaging yourself by choosing unavailable men? I say this from personal experience. Up until I was 22 I had the worst taste in men. I went through a disastrous one-year marriage and came out of it with a changed attitude. I very carefully made a mental list of the kind of man I wanted (and did NOT want) and worked hard on rearranging my head space. Within a yea…
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/19 06:29 PM
2

Knitting, art, decorating, jewelry making, reading, gardening. Oh, and learning the ins and outs of my Instant Pot. I do hobbies in phases, and right now I’m knitting, reading, and Instant Potting.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/19 06:04 AM
2

This! My hubby is moody, and I finally.....FINALLY....learned this is what helps him more than anything.
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/19 08:06 AM
4

Stop spending time in those places where you’re subjected to them. I used to spend time on a knitting forum, but I found the political and feminist comments there so hate-filled and hypocritical about my type of life I stopped visiting the site. I’ve yet to miss the lunacy. I know they despise me, but I refuse to expose myself to their derision.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/19 08:22 PM
4

I like this. I can’t say as I delight in my chores, but I’m very appreciative I have the opportunity to do them as a housewife and the results are so worth it.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/19 08:11 PM
–

If you have a front loader washer add a little white vinegar to each load. I put some in the bleach and softener receptacle. It cuts back significantly on the smell these washers tend towards.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/19 08:08 PM
3

As a woman I’d want to know this information. My husband was quite shy. If it wasn’t for friends intervening he probably would’ve never asked me out. They literally told him I’d accept. Sometimes those of us who are dating challenged need friends to help us get together.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/19 07:41 PM
–

After owning my Instant Pot for a couple of years I’ve finally begun exploring its features with the help of a couple of Instant Pot-specific cookbooks. I made sweet-n-sour meatballs last week and chicken butternut curry, both being big hits. I also learned my IP has a slow cooker feature, how to turn off functions, and adjust the sauté heat levels. I hate to cook, so this is a self-improvement project.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/19 09:26 PM
1

That’s very encouraging to hear!
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/19 09:18 PM
–

Here’s a hint if you have a front loader washing machine. Pour a little white vinegar in the softener and bleach dispenser with each wash. It’ll keep it from smelling. IMO doing this for each wash is much more effective than cleaning it once a month.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/19 08:58 PM
2

Same here! I was so excited to find likeminded women.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/19 07:43 PM
1

We’ve been happily married for 30 years. Submission has been hard for me. I’m kind of bossy (I didn’t say that out loud!). But here is a real life example we went through today. We are prepping our house to sell in the spring. A tree got blown down and tore a few edge shingles off the shed roof. He announced instead of re-roofing (it needs it) the shed he’s going to just put sealant tape where the wood is exposed from the tree mishap. I agreed it won’t stop anyone who really wants the house, but…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/19 07:40 PM
1

I thought this was a joke! But in my desperation I began to rethink the house we’re designing and building, haha. Seriously, thanks for recommending this book. I bought it and am looking forward to hopefully overcoming my housework challenges.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/19 07:05 PM
2

You mean aside from cherishing me?? I was in the hospital for a few days post surgery. He brought me a card. Inside were some pics he’d printed out of our pets. He hung them up on the bulletin board at the end of my bed. Aww, I’m getting all teared up, and that was 10 years ago. I’m so dense and would never think of anything like that.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/19 06:50 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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