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View 2 posts and 40 comments by Temporary_Elk3710 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
19

LawyersTemporary_Elk3710/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 08:43 PM
6

Temporary_Elk3710/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 03:45 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
48

It’s good to hold yourself to high standards. But this whole post comes off as “I am very smart, and nobody can match my supreme intellect”. Don’t be a douche.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 01:19 PM
5

Hell yeah
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 01:16 PM
1

What do you do for work to make that insane salary?
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 07:03 PM
6

You boundary was not unreasonable. The second that she decided to not pursue reconciliation or made no effort toward repair, you have to do whatever you need to survive and persevere. I have a fairly similar situation to you. My ex initiated the divorce, initially suggested we do the shared apartment thing and rotate out of the house and into the apartment that we share but stay at opposing times. I said there’s no way in hell. Either we fight for our marriage and work our asses off to be better…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 06:45 AM
1

Wow I could have wrote this myself. The amount of "mental load" reels that I was sent in the past two years is astronomical. I was also convinced I just had to do a little more, take on a bit more responsibility, improve a bit more... and THEN she would be satisfied and happy and the wonderful loving person I married. Nope, the goal posts shift again and next time its something else. Rinse and repeat
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 04:21 PM
1

Just commenting to say that I've experienced this as well. It's downright baffling how someone's perspective can so rapidly shift, and suddenly you're abusive, narcissist, manipulative, etc. etc etc. It's like.... I'm the same fucking guy I was last week, last year.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 03:58 PM
1

The total victim complex is so pervasive in our society. I wish taking accountability was more common. Nope, its easier to blame everyone else
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 03:46 PM
1

Thanks, it really need not be more complicated than this. Its the point now where my ex will barely even communicate outside of daily logistics for the kids. She went from "lets get this done with as fast and amicably as possible" to now stonewalling and making excuses. I think the reality of divorce and the change in lifestyle is starting to hit her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 03:41 PM
2

man, I'm sorry. This is the route that I fear I'm headed as well. I hope things get easier for you and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 03:38 PM
0

I suppose that works as long as you can be amicable enough. How’s that working out?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 08:48 PM
9

For sure this. Hate to say it. There’s 3 billion other women on this planet. Make your peace with it and move on
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 03:06 PM
2

It sounds like we had the same wife
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 04:49 PM
4

Deep down, you know this relationship isn’t good for you. The phone guarding is the biggest red flag there is. You know your options: you can put up with it and slowly shrink yourself over the years until you don’t recognize yourself. You can try your damndest to change the dynamic, couples therapy, etc. but historically the odds are against you. Or you can rip the bandaid off, do the uncomfortable thing and end it, giving you a chance for a happy future. You don’t mention kids, and if that’s tr…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 03:46 AM
6

A few months ago I would have done anything to get her back. Now? I can’t ever look at her in that way again, it doesn’t feel physically possible. Agreed with the “would have to change who she is at the core
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 12:50 AM
5

Just replying this to say you aren’t alone in this. I could have written this too. The constant victim mentality, lack of any accountability or being seemingly incapable of showing remorse. It really, REALLY fucks up us codependents. It’s like I can see how toxic she is, but still want to be with her. It truly is an addiction, a fucked up dopamine cycle. It’s tough brother, but better days are ahead of us
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 12:28 AM
3

If you’re both in agreement with each other; it’s in your best interest to go this route, and as quickly as possible. Before she changes her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 12:09 AM
2

Thanks for this. I’m about a month out from separation but still living together. It’s an emotional rollercoaster. It’s hell. It’s like living in a shitty purgatory. Your post gives me hope, it’s hard to feel like I’ll ever be whole again.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 01:00 AM
3

lol I’ve been called every name in the book too. For awhile I was genuinely concerned that I was narcissistic and I genuinely wanted to work on myself. It took awhile for me to realize it was ALL projection. Every single bit
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 07:51 PM
0

I’m lucky to have very supportive parents and family/friends. They all saw through her BS while I was still blinded by it. I’ve done sooo much introspection and work on myself. For a few years now, I’ve been going to therapy regularly. I’m far from perfect, but I sure did realize I was the only one putting effort into being better
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 07:43 PM
4

I could have written this myself! The PTSD, the constant blame shifting, the victim complex. They somehow have the ability to make anything somebody else’s fault. They can do no wrong. It’s fucking EXHAUSTING
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 07:39 PM
0

Sorry for you brother, going through something very similar at the moment. I was on some porn sites, video chat sites and had a couple onlyfans subscriptions. Wife found out and blew up. She asked for separation and divorce. I was desperate to reconcile and save my marriage. Bent over backwards and was willing to do ANYTHING for her. Within two weeks she was already banging someone else. But in her eyes, no harm no foul “because we’re not together anymore”. Like 11 years of marriage gone down th…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 07:22 PM
4

I’m in the same boat as you. I’ll echo a ton of the advice here. Make sure you’re staying physically active. The gym can be a great outlet for frustration, sadness, and it’s good at quieting a busy mind. Plus you get physically stronger and fitter. Make sure you’re investing time in yourself. Gym, therapy, hobbies, routines. Try to be kind to yourself during this process. It’s hell, but it WILL get better. Focus on what you can control and let go what you can’t.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 04:25 PM
3

Yep! The amount of times I’ve been called a narcissist, emotionally abusive, etc. is appalling. So disrespectful to speak to someone who has done nothing but love, care and provide for you and our children for over a decade
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 05:56 AM
2

This is so real. So much of our identities as husbands, fathers and providers are based around our service to others, and we find real joy in that. Removing that identity is extremely disorienting, and leaves a void that is really difficult to repair
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 05:53 AM
3

This one kills me too. All these complaints about not going on dates enough. Like we have three kids and a house needing constant repairs… yes having scheduled date nights is important, but it’s petty compared to the big shit.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 10:53 PM
1

I feel you. I said the same thing to my therapist the other day. The fact that our lives are so intertwined makes it incredibly difficult to cut ties.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 11:33 PM
3

Every relationship takes work. There will always be rough patches. But if it’s only one person consistently putting in the work, it’s time to call it quits. A relationship takes two people to function
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 11:24 PM
1

I appreciate it, I’ll give it a read through.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 04:57 PM
2

In case you need reminding today... The lack of respect is your closure. The lack of an apology is your closure. The lack of empathy is your closure. The lack of accountability is your closure. The lack of availability is your closure. The lack of honesty is your closure. The lack of integrity is your closure. The lack of remorse is your closure. The lack of care is your closure. Sometimes the only closure you really need is understanding that you deserve so much better than who someone's repeat…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 01:33 PM
1

I don’t have any solid advice for you, as I’m going through a similar situation myself. It’s hard, really hard. Take it one day at a time and don’t forget to take care of yourself. You’re worthy of being treated with love and respect and adoration. Hang in there bro
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 01:30 PM
1

Thanks brother. Needed to hear this. Stay strong out there.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 11:22 AM
1

Yep this is exactly it. It’s devastating, and then you look back and realize all the tactics that have been used to confuse, disorient and train you into being more of a lapdog than an actual partner. I used to pride myself in doing anything she asked; at the drop of a hat. But it was somehow never ever enough and I was always made to feel like I needed to do more work on myself. There’s been zero accountability on her part; for our entire relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 03:30 AM
0

Remorseful for the hurt and broken trust that I caused her. But yeah, it’s hard to see how you’re being mistreated while you’re in the middle of it
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 01:09 AM
1

Yeah I’ve been going to a therapist for the past year. This is all so heavy though; it’s hard to take it day-by-day. Hiring an attorney this week.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 10:07 PM
1

Sigh, you’re right. This sucks man
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 10:06 PM
2

Similar situation except for the infidelity. But still living together, have 3 kids together and she’s emotionally checked out and no longer willing to attempt repair. And then comes the messaging and dating apps and phone calls with guys, trying to get under my skin. It’s manipulative and I hate how much it gets under my skin. Spending a few days of the week out of the house has helped. But it’s rough man, the pain cuts deep. You aren’t alone. We’ll get through this, and in year or two we’ll lo…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 08:19 PM
1

Hey man, I’m in the thick of this exact situation right now. My gambling debt was a secret for a long time, and my wife discovering it was the big push for her to file for divorce. It’s rough, but we’ll be better people at the end of this process. Go to a GA meeting if you haven’t already. The support from these groups has been incredible for me personally.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 03:50 PM
1

I could have written this myself. I screwed up quite a bit. But she did as well. Hurt people hurt people. But it takes two to make it work, I want to reconcile and she’s past that point of trying. Hang in there brother, we’ll get to the other side of this
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 02:05 PM
1

This is horrible. I know you’re physically in pain right now, but time will clear your heart and mind and you’ll see you’ve always deserved better than that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 07:15 PM
2

Thank you for this. Just starting the process and I’m in the thick of it right now.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 07:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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