TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

ThankYouMrBen Archive

View 0 posts and 15 comments by ThankYouMrBen on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

This is not my understanding of the right of first refusal. At least in my case, the way my lawyer explained it, is that if - during my scheduled parenting time - I need to find a babysitter (for a minimum specified amount of time; mine is 12 hours or overnight, so not just like if I’m going out for a couple hours), then I have to ask my ex if she wants that time with the kids before I ask anyone else. She has the right to be the first person to “refuse” to cover that time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/20 12:20 AM
1

Agreed; my opinion is that since OP's kids are teenagers, this is a "per house" thing, but my kids aren't yet teenagers, so my opinion may change as they get older.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/20 05:45 PM
5

I'm with you. Big issues need consistency (curfew maybe, significant others at the house when you're not home/in their room). Small issues (make your bed, time at night to turn off devices, etc.) should be up to the parent whose house they're at.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/20 03:30 PM
4

My ex cheated on me with someone I called a close friend. After six months of gaslighting from both of them, including causing a psychiatric hospitalization for me, I filed. Another 6 months later it was finalized. I’ve since remarried and am extraordinarily happy. My current marriage is so strong it has brought to light all the issues that were wrong in my first marriage, which has helped me to do the emotional labor I needed to do to heal (it’s still in progress, but the progress is moving in …
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/20 02:24 PM
1

Another formerly-frum divorced dad here. As much as I love reddit, I'm not sure you're going to get the answers here that truly consider the unique situation you are in. How frum were you/are your kids? Modern orthodox? Chofetz Chaim? You already know that some folks in the orthodox world will never be accepting of any decrease of observance, much less a tattoo. And at your kids' age, it could be super confusing to them. That said, I never advocate lying to kids, except when needed to actually p…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/20 05:18 AM
8

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It really really sucks, and I'm sorry for that. Lawyer up. Document everything. Save the FB transcripts (in case they disappear later). Do whatever you have to do to protect your kids. And if you haven't gotten that mental health help yet, now's a good time.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/19 04:58 AM
4

Assuming you meant introverted, and not inverted, then you and I have a lot of similarities. I was terrified of the prospect of having to try to date again. I figured I would wait a really long time, if ever. A couple weeks after my ex and I separated, I reached out to a female acquaintance, who was very close friends with someone I knew (but wasn't close enough to reach out to) who is recently divorced. I was looking for attorney's names and maybe a bit of advice. The acquaintance got me the in…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/19 03:25 AM
2

Going through my year of firsts right now too. It's getting easier. It's by no means easy, but it's getting easier. I try to make the most of my time with them. That means doing the regular "have to do" shit (grocery shopping, household chores - at least the ones that I don't have them help me with, etc.) when they're with their mom. Then when they're with me, we can just be present with each other. If you and your ex/STBX can be civil enough together, make a habit of facilitating communication …
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/19 04:47 PM
3

I hear that and can relate with parts of it. I was with a new partner within a month (and it's still going really great). When I discovered my ex's affair, I came to the realization that our marriage (at least in the form that made either of us happy) ended long ago, so I sort of did my mourning then, too. I'm finding that as much as I focus on my kids' happiness and wellbeing, it helps distract me from the shitty stuff and keeps me focused on what's important. For many, that's easier said than …
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/19 02:42 PM
6

Probably an unpopular opinion here, so I present it with this disclaimer: I don't know you, OP. I don't know your situation (other than what I just read). This may not be the right advice for you, but maybe it is. I can't comment on the financial part or the emotional pain you feel or being blindsided. It sounds like that's fucking terrible, and I'm sorry. But.... consider seeing the new man in your daughter's life for the positives it can bring. You're still her dad. He's not replacing you, BUT…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/19 02:21 PM
5

Be as cordial and amicable as possible through the whole process. If you have kids, don’t make him fight for equal parenting time. Split things evenly and fairly.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/19 11:24 PM
2

what kind of boat?
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/19 01:55 PM
2

As painful as it was, in time you’ll recognize that as a major step in your recovery and in moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/19 07:46 PM
2

also chiming in that you don't specifically want a male or female attorney. You want a competent one.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/19 12:50 AM
1

By no means am I an authority; I'm three months post-filing. That said, I think things are going about as well as they possibly can for me right now. Here are some things I've been trying to do, and have so far been successful with it. First and foremost (TL;DR: Lawyer Up) No matter how amicable this is, you need to retain legal counsel. Anything that you're going to be signing, entering into court, etc., should be reviewed by your lawyer, at a minimum. My STBX and I are coming to an agreement o…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/19 01:29 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter