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That-Lunch6059 Archive

View 0 posts and 37 comments by That-Lunch6059 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

You can put some language about waiting a year in your divorce agreement to meet significant others but it is essentially unenforceable. This is true...we had language in our parenting plan around this (6 month) and the weekend after our divorce decree was signed (it hadn't been 6 months, more like barely 2), she intro'd her affair partner to our child. And, nothing could be done, I could've kicked up a lot of dust but the family court wouldn't touch it unless you could demonstrate that the chil…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 06:33 PM
2

I threw it in the coin dish I had next to the nightstand. When I moved to my new place I haven't unpacked the coin dish, its still there, probably never to see the light of day.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 05:16 PM
2

I don't think its even about "playing video games"....you could insert any other activity that you choose to do. I didn't play video games or watch sports etc...typical grips from wives....but, my-ex-wife managed to find something else to latch onto....I would read. Yes, reading was a gripe, I don't know how it was. I used to hear, "well, I wish I had time to just sit and read on the computer"...I was like, "you can, at any time, you just choose not to". Now mind you, I was doing my fair share w…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 07:06 PM
1

Dated about a year, had separate places but spent time at each others but didn't live together.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 05:32 PM
1

Most of the issues bubbled up after marriage....that's not to say they weren't there previously but in the dating phase you tend to be "forgiving" or less critical of the issues.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 07:23 PM
1

Certainly depends on the temperament of the woman. You could assert and say this is what we're doing and she may go along with it but then over time she resents it and begins to feel like she has no say..."he always picks, I have no say"....now this is not to say this was your fault, just the way she interpreted it. On the other hand, you could ask and then she could get upset and say "why should be asking, you should know already", meanwhile, you have no idea because she is the type to change t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 04:27 PM
2

Oh, there's certainly more going on....the kettlebell was just something for her to latch onto... In the weeks that followed the first mention of divorce to actually moving forward with it, my ex-wife appeared pleasant many times...to the point where I thought that maybe the first mention of divorce was just an outburst of frustration....but alas, it wasn't, it was all acting, she had her other thing going on, the monkeybranch.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 12:47 AM
5

Can related to 1,3,4,5 Although she wasn't a SAHM she never responded positively to any work accomplishments. I remember one time I received my annual bonus at a company Christmas party...as we left, she opened the envelope and then got pissy about it....never made sense to me. I was always the last to know about any family plan/event. If it was during the summer, she would just do whatever and I'd come home to no one being home and then find out afterwards that they did some event/activity. Or …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 11:00 PM
3

I had the hardest time while boxing up our kids items because I remembered all the activities we'd do with our kid and that that was all done, no more shared activities/memories, they were all going to be separate activities and new memories. Didn't feel anything related to her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 10:49 PM
2

irretrievably broken Yeah, the state I'm in uses that terminology and it states it with a 6 month clause.....yet, what's ironic, is that there is no real time clock for the 6 months, one person just says that it was. I understand not agreeing with the terminology but in the end a contested divorce doesn't really change much (except that maybe there might be a 1y separation that needs to be in place before the divorce can finalize), the rest of the divorce process stays the same as far as splitti…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 01:55 AM
2

I'm the exact same person, the two just see me and value me differently. I had a similar thought, basically, run through all the same scenarios in the marriage but with a different partner, would they have the same outcome, would there have been a divorce brewing? We can't beat ourselves up because we are only half of the equation, there is another variable that we don't control and given substituting that variable, would you get the same outcome? I had talked to an ex-GF after my divorce and wa…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 02:13 AM
1

Completely relate to where you're at, I had felt the same way. My ex-wife did just that, went through the motions, told me I was reading into things, or just a "nothing's wrong, its ok" when I pressed but in actuality no willingness to work on the issues. Its done now, the ship has sailed but my lesson is to "listen to your gut, if you think something's not right, it probably isn't".
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 01:53 AM
1

If you think it will pay dividends down the road please be careful because if she was always a "taker" in the relationship, she wont recognize any goodwill that you're extending.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 01:42 AM
1

One thing I would say is when she is packing be sure she only takes the agreed upon things. My ex and I were in a similar place to you and after she packed and left I found a lot of extra things had “gone missing”. I can relate to that..."things gone missing" and I know I explicitly packed them.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 01:36 AM
1

Not unreasonable at all, you need to verify everything that is being removed from the house. because once its gone, good luck getting it back. My ex boxed a bunch of stuff up and I happened to be reviewing what was in a box and noticed a bunch of my tools were in it...."um, no these aren't yours to take". From that point I had to go through everything and even then missed a bunch of things. I had boxed stuff up that was legit mine and at some point the items went missing because I've looked high…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 01:09 AM
1

you’ll be able to do well dating if you have your collective act together and a have enough emotional intelligence to remain outcome independent when meeting new women. It will fall upon you to create your own success out there, most of which can be done with a positive attitude. well stated.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 01:00 AM
1

No fault divorce is complete bullshit...it's basically turned marriage into an extended dating relationship with financial penalties. Totally agree that these no-fault divorce laws need to be repealed.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 12:50 AM
1

I don't think the gender matters a heck of a lot. If they've been practicing divorce law for any amount of time, they've come across lots of situations and can generally navigate what the "other team" will be doing. I talked with 6 lawyers and actually it was tougher to find a male lawyer, I was only able to talk to two, the rest were women. I have no idea if there is more of a percentage of women divorce lawyers or not.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 08:34 PM
4

Yup, totally get where you're at. I was fortunate to have my kid Eve and Day. I'm certainly not jealous of her new relationship but I'm not happy that it started during our marriage and she monkey branched, I don't wish her well in it because her actions altered forever the life of our child.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 10:41 PM
2

For every post like mine there are ten posts of women “I just want to divorce and I’m not happy anymore and I don’t feel butterflies but I’ve never actually communicated any of this but FEELINGS” Certainly understand. Anytime I see posts like that I'm like "um, ok, you gotta give me something more to understand". This is not to discredit any of their "feelings" but you control how you react to your feelings. It's a marriage, not dating...yeah, when you're dating, if you're not "feeling it", yes,…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 10:02 PM
2

I agree, the other sub mentioned would help garner more of a gender neutral feedback. ​ With that said, I can relate to several parts in your post. The emotional affair that has moved into being a thing, not knowing the financial health, trying to keep the house. My ex-Wife had been planning her exit strategy for two years. She finally found her monkey branch and that kicked off everything. I can relate to having the financial acumen to put things into motion for the future health of the family …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 08:11 PM
1

Your state's website should have information on the divorce laws and how/when alimony or maintenance (some states call it this) is awarded. Some states it's an optional item, however, she would have to opt out of taking it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 04:20 PM
1

nearly all states are no fault states it certainly has placed the bar square on the floor, basically no barrier to get a divorce, takes two to marry only one to divorce and with no fault, "irretrievably broken" has no real definition.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 12:09 AM
3

Would have to check state laws. I know in my state the engagement ring is considered a gift and therefore hers to keep.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 12:03 AM
1

I can't imagine how that happens or how it plays out.... How does the ex-wife pay you back for all the emotional and financial ruin, how do you undo all of that?
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 12:00 AM
2

It's quite telling the frequency of this occurring. Almost as if this is what is arrived at in their mind because they don't want the conversation to escalate...like its some way in their mind to soften the blow/diffuse the situation. But once you process the bullshit of what those words say, its a whole lot of nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 11:20 PM
3

we cannot make someone happy (content), that comes from within. This is sooo true!!
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 10:49 PM
2

Avoid court. If at all possible, settle your divorce out of court (collaborative, negotiated or mediated) or at least settle the parenting aspects out of court. If you get push back for wanting 50/50, push for her to get EOW, that way you'll have to meet in the middle at 50/50. Make sure there is nothing in your closet that would lead her to argue unfit father. Don't lead her to believe that you'll need a certain arrangement in order to make the kind of money you need, in fact, don't say anythin…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 12:45 PM
1

You may be able to call for a consult and have them review your information....certainly worth the ask.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/22 09:49 PM
5

lol....oh, 'tis true
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 08:22 PM
1

the advice may be more from a "she's at one side unwilling to move, you take the other far side and eventually meet in the middle"
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 04:19 PM
4

where I have to answer to a woman ever again. That's the trick, managing the power dynamic in a relationship, neither party should have too much "power"....if you're answering to a woman, then the power dynamic shifted.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 04:06 PM
1

Thanks man but i still don’t have an answer “WHY” when I’ve done everything to please her. Quit going out with friends, drink, do what i like(because she don’t like it or understand it). The thing is, you make changes that they want but they still get hung up on "why did he make changes once I threatened, how come he didn't do this before or just do it without me saying anything"....they can't get beyond letting that go (they hung up on the past issues) and accept the changes that were made and …
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 03:28 PM
1

The marriage paperwork and the vows don't mean a hill of beans, that's for sure. I was naive to think that they had some 'teeth'. A do-over would have me put legal safeguards in place for finances, prenup agreement and the like. My ex came into the union with nothing from her previous marriage...literally just the vehicle she was driving and now left this marriage with assets to start over (and its not like she socked away any funds either). Certainly my mistake for not taking enough precautions…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 10:24 PM
5

Word....bashing the mom doesn't get you anywhere or win you any points with the children....the kids will recognize the strengths/weaknesses of each parent over time. All you can do is be the best for them so that they don't see you as being the problem regardless of what they may hear from the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 10:14 PM
1

that they come crawling back after getting their noses bloodied and realizing that they are on the decline now wont happen....they'll find someone else to offload onto or rely on family or just grind it out... but crawling back wont be something they'll do
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 10:11 PM
4

spent a great deal of energy paying down debt and building up equity and did good! Right there with you on that....that's what I did too and then SMACK, all of that hard work wiped out. That's what I'm still salty about, I put all that energy into doing that (at my own personal sacrifice in some cases) and she got to capitalize on that work. The fact that there was liquid assets to divvy up wasn't due to her financial acumen, that's for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 10:07 PM
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