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~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex? | ThatWhichSings | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 07:47 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Yeah, but dominating isn't a selfish thing. Dominating involves understanding that the other person is turned on by your dominating, understanding where the pleasure in that submission comes from. Domination without sensuality isn't hot, lol. There is little hotter than 'forcing' someone to experience pleasure. One of my hottest memories from an experience with a submissive woman was having her tied up and bringing her off again and again through eating her out. It was hot as fuck. And also, not… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/22 04:52 AM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?What kinda man let's others tell him his worth, let's others tell him what gatekeeps his own masculinity? That seems to indicate a pretty extreme lack of security in ones own masculinity and self-worth. I really feel like you deserve better. Personally, some of my greatest experiences of masculinity come from either gardening or sitting in the woods. Watching what I planted slowly grow, where nothing was before? Listening to the same soundscape as all my forefathers have? I'm not gonna pretend l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/22 04:45 AM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I can see where you're coming from. I dont think that your initial statement is inherently wrong, just like I don't think mine is inherently right (I'll say that I do obviously personally think mine is /more/ right, but I'm sure we both think that we're more logical, haha). "it's not about you, or me, it just is": I wanna touch on this specifically. We can use logic till the cows come home, but at some point, we need to make some assumptions about what is worthwhile or meaningful. Meaning doesn'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/22 03:02 AM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Do you want to live your life bound by these constraints and expectations? From the way you describe it, it doesn't even sound like there's an appreciation for sex itself, just the status or effects it can bring. Does that make you happy? If you want, you can live outside the realm of normal societal constraints too. I'm not saying go suck a dick, but like, I also get more pussy than I think at least half of the guys here (by their own accounts), so it can't just be about the gay part. If you fe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/22 02:36 AM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?This sounds like a really sad way to approach life and love. Im not in a relationship to propagate my genetic payload, I'm in one because love makes life more beautiful, and helps us tap into what makes life worth living. I don't have sex for the off-chance that I'll randomly have a kid, I do it because it provides an opportunity to connect with another person intimately, exchanging pleasure in a feedback loop, where the pleasure of another increases my own pleasure, and mine increases theirs. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/22 02:31 AM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?What do you mean by market participant? Do you mean having kids? Because a friend has already volunteered to be my surrogate when the time comes that my partner and I decide to have kids. But also, I don't see how that would be a relevant metric. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/22 01:50 AM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Yeah, and how long does a slice of pizza satisfy you? Personally, as a slut, I love having a quick slice of pizza. I know I'll be hungry again in an hour, but I still just love a good slice of pizza anytime. But most people need a little more to get hungry. If you want to be surrounded by people that wanna have sex with you and use you to get themselves off, try going on grindr. You'll quickly realize that, unless you can get some pleasure out of being a slut, that theres a huge difference betwe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 07:34 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I completely get where you're coming from. Sex with someone I'm already connected to (and by extension, attracted to, as I find that my attraction tends to grow as I get more connected) is so radically different than sex with someone I'm not connected to that it's almost two different acts. I agree that there's a lot of extra baggage that a lot of men attach to sex, validation being a primary one of them. I've been trying to combat the connection between sex and validation in several prongs of t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 07:26 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I mean, you can always give it a shot. I've been many straight guys' firsts, haha. Throw on some panties and a bra, and you'd be surprised how many straight guys will start to consider being flexible for a night xD | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 07:18 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I also partially think that the difference in hormonal sexualities has something to do with it. I've had two separate transmasc friends who started getting suspiciously close to Red Pill territory once they started T and got, in their words, more traditionally masculine sexualities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 07:11 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I think there's a lot of value that can come from straight-gay talk in this sub. Both because gay folks can give some unique insight into the experiences of each sex, and because I think it would do the straight people on this forum some good to realize that you can be miserable without having to romantically/sexually interact with the other sex, haha | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 07:07 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Because sex rocks? The times I've had sex with women friends of mine, it's because we were having a really good time, we were feeling really close, we'd been having some chemistry, and we decided to go ahead and have some fun. And when it's been a recurring thing, it's because we have fun together, we enjoy giving each other pleasure, and it makes our relationship/friendship better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 07:05 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Well, I'm gay, so no my partner has never missed his period, haha. But if you're in that situation, and it makes you uncomfortable, then you should talk to your partner about it. Because first of all, birth control works both ways. Obviously, a woman can't be forced to be on a medication that she doesn't want to, but if she chooses to go off birth control, you can get a vasectomy, or use a condom. And if you feel like you cant have open and honest conversations with your partner about the possib… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 07:02 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?That's completely fair. It still makes me sad that you 'blame' yourself for something you have no control over, and that this causes you misery. I sincerely hope that things get better. I wish that I could offer you a night of wonderful casual sex and it would be meaningful. I've gotten to do that before with other guys in your situation, and I've really loved being able to help. But I know that just makes me sound like a slutty fag, haha. In light of that, I'll just reiterate that I really hope… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 06:44 PM |
| 4 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?To talk on a single line of your comment: 'when you have no access to it, it makes you unhappy'. I disagree. I think that unhappiness is just a fact of the human condition, and addressing unhappiness needs to be it's own goal (via therapy, spirituality, meditation, etc). Issues of access should be addressed, but we should never think 'X makes you unhappy', because that seems to put the power of happiness in an external source, when I think the source of happiness can only ever be internal | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 06:33 PM |
| 4 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I like this example you bring up. Because I think that to just say 'money isn't important' is silly, just like I think saying 'sex isn't important' is silly. And with money, there are definitely societal things that can be done to address the lack to a lot of people have (leftist here, so might not agree with me, haha, but that's my stance). And I do think that there are things that can be done to help the strife that seems to exist between men and women. More open and honest communication betwe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 06:30 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Ok, I think I get what you're saying about 'not voluntary, not out of your control'. My first response after reading the first couple paragraphs was going to be to say 'people should leave to love every part of themselves, to love simply being alive', but you caught me before I could, haha. That being said, that's still my answer, lol. "Maybe in some spiritual locations in parts of the world you have people who meditate and attain that level of self worth through enlightenment. But in the real w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 06:25 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I mean, maybe they've been lying to me for the years that I've known them, both the friends I've had one time things with and the ones I've had ongoing things with. Personally, I subscribe to the belief that we can never truly know another person. But I'm still gonna assume that I have at least some understanding of someone that I've been friends with for 10 years. Certainly more than some random chick online | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 06:15 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Yeah, I can. Because I talk with the women I've had sex with. A good number of them have been close friends, who I regularly engage in this kind of discourse with. Maybe you don't talk about this stuff openly, but that doesn't mean no one does. People are capable of being open, honest, and emotionally vulnerable with each other. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 06:13 PM |
| 3 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Yeah, this is coming from a guy who was able to make that decision myself. This is part of why I made this post in the first place. I see so many in this community connecting 'I'm miserable' with 'I can't seem to find a way to have sex'. But I'm in a community where sex is often as abundant as water, and gay guys are still miserable at about the same rate as straight guys. There are gay equivalents of the 'pill' philosophies. A lot of guys develop a complex about how 'guys only wanna fuck me, no… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 06:11 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?This is why I'm coming in here knowing that there's something fundamentally wrong with TRP, and FDS to a lesser degree, and why I made this post. I see so many RP-ers who seem to think that sex will make them happy, but I'm in a community where sex is often as abundant as water, and it just isn't the case that it makes people happy. Sex doesn't make you fulfilled, it doesn't make you happy, and it doesn't give you a good life. It can be part of all those things, but if straight guys feel miserab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 06:04 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?In Buddhism, spiritual work fundamentally involves helping other people with their suffering, and you can only help people that you have some form of relationship with. Not a romantic or sexual one, granted, but still. I don't really know how to address your last comment. I meet a lot of guys on Grindr who are in exactly that sort of situation (a dead marriage with a woman), and while I never have sex with someone in that situation (knowingly), I've done coffee and pseudo-therapy with a lot of t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 06:01 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?See, you think of it as easy mode, but it isn't. Have you never seen the equivalent of 'black pilled' gay guys? They go on and on about how no one wants them because they're chubby, or because they're autistic, or whatever. Another really common one 'pill' in the gay community is whining about how everyone only wants casual sex with them, and no one wants a relationship. And this is partially what drew me to start paying attention to this sort of forum in the first place. No matter the community… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:53 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?But legitimately, next time you start feeling the deep pangs of that 'starving' sensation, try finding something you can go sit and focus on, and just breathe. A river, the sounds of the city, a really good snack, cloud watching, etc. Obviously I'm a bit biased towards this meditative approach given my religious leanings, but it really works. It helps let those strong feelings pass down the stream, and realize that they're not that important in the grand scheme of things. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:48 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Personally, when I was in my year and half of celibacy, I satisfied my drives three ways. One, most obviously, I greatly expanded my masturbatory practice, leaning on reddit for some wild digital fun. Two, I went on a daily walk to a nearby lake at either sunrise or sunset, and I just listened to everything and watched, and sometime wrote some poetry (thus, all the unbearable pretentious poetry on the rest of my profile). Nothing helps dispel the uncomfortably hot pangs of lust like just sitting… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:46 PM |
| 0 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I really hope that this doesn't come across as mean, and it's coming from someone who used sex as a method for validation for so long, but that's really sad. I've struggled with intense anxiety and low self esteem for a long time, and when I discovered sex, found it was a great way to shut up my internal voice that told me I was worthless for an hour. But, I mean, by this point you gotta know that it doesn't work, right? Validation 'earned' through sex doesn't actually appease that internal crit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:41 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?It can only be used as a tool in a power game if a man delusionally thinks he 'needs' sex. But we don't. And not in a MGTOW way, where they say they don't need it but ooze resentment from every pore. We legitimately just don't need sex, and if no one wants to have it with you, or if you're unable to have it, you'll be fine. I've been in a relationship before where the guy tried to use sex as a power tool, and I left his ass, because not only is that fucked up, it turns the sex into something dis… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:28 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Oh, I completely agree. If I had to pick between never having sex again or never getting to have a drunken emotionally intimate night with my friends again, sex is 100% the one to go | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:24 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Of course monks have relationships, and they're not on their own. Most of the monks in my tradition live in the world, in apartments and houses with roommates, and do outreach as their 'day jobs'. And in that case, you should make sure to find a relationship that meets your needs. And if your relationship doesn't, and you find yourself becoming resentful of the other person, then you should get out of it. Ultimately, my point is just that if you're unable to find a way to live a healthy satisfie… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:22 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Ok, let's use the money comparison. No one 'needs' money, they need the things that money can get them; they need food, they need shelter, they need transportation, etc. Money exists as only a proxy for getting what you need. What do you think sex will get you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:16 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I don't need to have an open relationship. My partner and I choose to have one because we don't like feeling like we're each others only options. The idea of being 'forced' to have sex with each other grosses us out. If we have sex, I don't want it to be because there were no choices, but because we both really want it. And when I need to choose between sex and my loving sexless relationship, I choose the relationship every time. Because emotional intimacy and love is so much more vital than sex… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:12 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?See, this is the center of why I was asking the question. It feels like all the importance built up around sex isn't actually about sex, but about all these other things that people assume go along with it. Social status, stability, children, marriage, emotional closeness, etc. But these things aren't actually attached to sex, and holding onto the idea that they are just seems to make people miserable. I always love when I'm in a group of straight guys and they start trying to flex with each oth… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:10 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Yeah, I also fuck women, and it isn't transactional. Given that my women-count is around 15, I think I've been with more than a lot of straight guys here. And those times were never transactional. It was always about mutual exchange of pleasure, and exploration, and connection. Hell, even when I did sex work, it wasn't as transactional as a lot of RP-ers make sex out to be. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:04 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I know about 15 people who have chosen a monastic lifestyle (I'm a practicing Buddhist, so it's a bit more common to find people donning the robes), the longest having been one for about 35 years. And most of them were rather horny people beforehand, from the conversations I've had with them. But they learn to transmute those drives, because again, there are other ways to satisfy them. Our central drive isn't for sex, but for love and intimacy. And if sex is the only way someone can conceive of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:00 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?You're just wrong, though. I want to be more delicate about it, but I really can't. I'm a practicing Buddhist, and know a good number of people who have entered monk-hood; I think I personally know about 15 people who have done it? And a good number of them were rather horny people beforehand. But they learn to transmute those drives, because again, there are other ways to satisfy them. Our central drive isn't for sex, but for love and intimacy. You're not starving, you just don't have access to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:58 PM |
| 3 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I partially agree, but why does straight culture move so slow then? Gay culture had immense levels of fear and sex aversion/trauma in the 80's, during the AIDS crisis. People swore off sex left and right. But we starting treating it, and dealing with it, and now have prevention, and gay culture has allowed that community-wide fear to flow down the river. So why are the straights still so hung up, when we have birth control and more liberation now? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:54 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Yeah, I fucking love sex. But when I need to choose between sex and my loving sexless relationship, I choose the relationship every time. Hell, if I had to pick between sex and the love I get from my friends, I'd pick my friends every time. Sex is a great vehicle for intimacy, but intimacy is the real VIP | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:51 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I definitely don't see it as just about orgasms. Tbh, my general anxiety keeps from from cumming around others most times. For me, it's about the pleasure of being present with another person, about connecting and about sharing a focus on each other's pleasure. I like what you said about you and your husband though. It reminds me a lot of my partner and my philosophy behind our open relationship. He and I want to know that, if we have sex, it isn't because we need to, but because we want to. We … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:50 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?But when you are deprived of it, not voluntarily, not due to factors outside your control like the pandemic Just to start, this part seems contradictory. Not voluntarily, but also not due to factors outside my control? Those are opposites, so you've kinda ruled out everything. And I get how this can lead to low self esteem, but the solution to low self esteem isn't to seek it from others. That's how you reinforce an inferiority complex. It's to realize that nothing makes you 'incomplete', and if… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:47 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I agree. A lot of people here are talking about how sex is a 'biological need', but I'd personally argue that our need for interpersonal love and intimacy are far greater than our need for sex. But I think a lot of guys don't really know how to find these things outside of relationships. That's why I try to foster really intimate relationships with my male friends; I tell my friends when they look good (not in a creepy way), I compliment them, etc. I once had a straight guy roommate start crying… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:44 PM |
| 0 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I'm sorry, but if you think that sex 'shows that someone likes you', then you're deluding yourself. Sex can definitely be used as a tool, just like anything else. If you're searching for proof that someone likes you, you're always going to fail. When I want to know if someone likes me, I sit down with them and ask them if they like me. And have a conversation about it. It still isn't definitive, because again, you can never really have proof of that sort of thing, but at least it keeps me from l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:40 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I personally would argue that most men also don't really understand their sexual pleasure. I've hooked up with so many guys who think that the extent of their sexual pleasure is sticking their dick in me and moving back and forth for a few minutes. Like, I know men can get their orgasm pretty easily, but an orgasm is only like 20 seconds of pleasure. I think most men have a pretty juvenile relationship with their own pleasure, tbh | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:35 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?It's not the 1600's anymore, though. Sex doesn't have to lead to pregnancy. Going off of your HIV comment, if this were the 80's, I would likely be having far less sex than I do, because circumstances would be different. But it's 2022; we know how HIV travels, I know I can use a condom and be relatively safe, and further I know I can be on PreP and be almost entirely protected. Increased ability to protect myself prevents me from developing a complex around it. We may be shaped by biology and ev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:32 PM |
| 3 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Ok, but as anyone who's been on a casual sex Grindr binge can tell you, there are different types of 'being desired', and having people want to shove their dicks in you, while fun, will very quickly leave you feeling empty again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:28 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Horniness and hunger are not the same though. If you go without food, you die. If you go without sex, you get blue balls. There is an interpersonal intimacy that can go along with sex that has a necessary, nourishing effect, but there are other sources of interpersonal intimacy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:25 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Sure, we're just 'biological machines', but part of the programming we've been gifted with is higher order cognitive ability. We can take our base sexual impulses and transmute them, into creativity, or passion, or hell, even just a rockin' masturbatory life. If I'm at a bar and someone gets aggressive with me, my animal instincts flood me with adrenaline and tell me to punch them. 'Monke brain make horny' might be an explanation for the initial frustration, but if not getting sex is poisoning a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:25 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?If I'm at a bar and someone gets aggressive with me, my animal instincts flood me with adrenaline and tell me to punch them. But I don't, because I'm not just an animal, I'm an animal with higher order cognitive ability. 'Monke brain make horny' might be an explanation for the initial frustration, but if not getting sex is poisoning a person to the point that they're angry all the time and coming up with conspiracy theories about "females" as a whole, then start jacking off more and find a creat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:22 PM |
| 2 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Horniness and hunger are not the same though. If you go without food, you die. If you go without sex, you get blue balls. There is an interpersonal intimacy that can go along with sex that has a necessary, nourishing effect, but there are other sources of interpersonal intimacy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:18 PM |
| 3 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Making a baby happens once or twice in a lifetime. And from talking with straight guys and gals, making a baby is usually the furthest thing from their minds when contemplating sex (obviously, exceptions made for couples who are trying to get pregnant, and a few other cases). I can see that maybe the biological imperative is what puts the idea that sex is important into our heads in the first place, but we're not living on the savanna anymore. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:18 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Yeah, when I have to pick between sex and my loving, sexless relationship, I pick the relationship every time. Sex pales in comparison to the importance of love. Hell, if I had to pick between sex and the interpersonal intimacy I get from my friends, I'd give up sex in a heartbeat. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:15 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Sex isn't a marketplace, though. There's no 'price' on it. Sex isn't something that one person 'has' and another person 'gets'. As a bottom, I don't 'give' sex to people, and the guys who approach me with such a mindset get turned away immediately; I won't have my art reduced to a transaction. That's such a pervasive idea, and I find it so gross. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:14 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Horniness and hunger are not the same though. If you go without food, you die. If you go without sex, you get blue balls. There is an interpersonal intimacy that can go along with sex that has a necessary, nourishing effect, but there are other sources of interpersonal intimacy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:12 PM |
| 1 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Again, when I'm put in a situation where I need to choose between sex and my loving but sexless relationship, I'm gonna choose the relationship every time. Sex is beautiful, but there are other methods for satisfying that drive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:10 PM |
| 0 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?Ok, but sex isn't like hunger. If you go without food, you die in a couple weeks. If you go without sex, you get blue balls. That's not the same. I'm in my mid-20s, my sex drive is still ridiculously high. I was probably taking care of myself 3 or 4 times a day during quarantine. As for 'would I be happy with celibacy the rest of my life'; when I'm forced to choose between my sexless but loving relationship and sex, I'm gonna choose my relationship every time. I would argue that our need for soc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:08 PM |
| 3 | Why is there so much importance placed on sex?I would argue that there is a bit of a difference between straight women and gay men's experience, in that, the people who message me are very clear and honest with their intentions. I can tell almost right away if someone wants some quick sex or if they want to explore a relationship. Whereas, from the women I talk to, straight men seem far less direct. And I get that it's partially because a gay guy just seeking sex can get it, but I personally can't imagine being in a situation where I can't … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 04:03 PM |
| 2 | In your opinion, how does "Nice guy" stereotype affects actual good guys?Oh, if it’s said as a compliment in any way, I’d probably ignore it. I think that holding onto praise is a good way to become too self-assured in your goodness. Like, it can be a nice thumbs up to let you know your efforts at goodness meet someones elses standards, but I think little poisons goodness like assurance that you’re nice, if that makes sense | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:22 AM |
| 2 | In your opinion, how does "Nice guy" stereotype affects actual good guys?I think the exact title shouldn’t mean too much. If someone accuses you of something, it just means it’s a chance for self examination. See if there’s any truth to it, see if there’s any way that you contributed to harm, and regardless of the other two, see if you can help. And once those are done, either cut ties as necessary, or repair social ties to maintain connection, whichever is more appropriate | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:16 AM |
| 2 | In your opinion, how does "Nice guy" stereotype affects actual good guys?I’ve only really seen the ‘nice guy’ terminology used online. In real spaces, I just see it referenced as insecurity, or just ‘not-actually-a good guy’ | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:14 AM |
| 2 | In your opinion, how does "Nice guy" stereotype affects actual good guys?And a good guy isn’t afraid to have his goodness challenged. He can allow himself to be challenged and examine his goodness, both because real goodness won’t dissipate when looked at, and because real goodness is continuously checking itself | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:13 AM |
| 2 | In your opinion, how does "Nice guy" stereotype affects actual good guys?The problem with the “nice guy” isn’t any particular behavior, it’s motivation. A real good guys ‘goodness’ is not conditional on other people behaving a certain way. Real goodness is springs from a desire to be good, not a desire for others to view you a certain way or treat you a certain way. Almost all the posts on r/niceguy have men who get defensive when encountering rejection, revealing an insecure core. An actual good guy who encounters rejection just says ‘have a good day’, legitimately … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/22 05:10 AM |
| 1 | My girlfriend would've slept with me on first date, if i wasnt boyfriend materialI’m the same way. Obviously the dynamics are different, because I’m a gay man, but still. Sex is easy. I can (and do) get a fuck with like 30 minutes of effort. But if I’m with someone who I want something more with, I want the sex to evolve naturally. It’s not that I ‘withhold’ it or anything, but it’s nice knowing that, when it ends up happening, it’ll be with someone that I know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/22 02:25 AM |
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