~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | Hit with Papers and DrowningIn many states, spousal behavior simply doesn't matter when it comes to splitting assets. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/24 11:49 AM |
| 8 | Wife wants M-F, I want 50/50. How to get her to agree?I had a guy in a black robe tell her for me. Seriously: parents who don't want 50/50 either are protecting their kids from something seriously wrong with their ex, or they're trying to win a game against you by getting the kids more. Nothing you've posted says that you're a danger to the kids, so the court, in theory, will presume that a 50/50 split is best for them. The only question now is how expensive she is going to make it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/24 10:00 PM |
| 6 | The kidsThe two adults are adults & can decide how often they will see you without mom interfering. The 14 y.o. is at an age where they're going to be able to have access to you essentially whenever they want. More importantly, your job as a parent is to get them ready for a life in which they don't see you every day; that's a standard part of growing up. So: if you decide to divorce, don't use the kids as an excuse to stay married. Have you had a discussion with your wife about the sex life you two hav… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/24 01:00 PM |
| 12 | Don't Trust the court!Search for James Sexton on Youtube; he's a high-powered divorce attorney in NYC who explains, correctly, that marriage is a bad deal for men, because only one side of the marriage contract is enforceable (the part about providing financial support for the family unit) and the other is not (the part about providing emotional and sexual companionship). | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/24 01:36 AM |
| 5 | Don't Trust the court!I can assure you, no judge in the US is looking for more work to do, and very few judges if any would want to fill their dockets with custody & divorce disputes, which tend to be filled with much emotion which the judge has to filter out to be able to make a Solomonic decision about which of an infinite variety of outcomes will be in the best interests of the child(ren) involved. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/24 01:33 AM |
| 3 | She is refusing to get out of my Bedroom. What should I do?You need to install cameras ASAP. You also should tell her (and follow up with email!) that you don't want her to have any intimacy with you and for that reason do not consent to her changing the pattern you've both established over the past 9 months of her sleeping in the other room. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/24 01:35 AM |
| 8 | Deprogramming my daughterYour daughter needs a therapist ASAP to figure out whether there's deliberate parental alienation happening. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/07/24 12:15 PM |
| 3 | Abusive text messages"Duly noted. Message received." No further response, download message for later use in a custody motion. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/24 07:41 PM |
| 5 | I don’t know what to do…DO NOT FUCK HER! She's trying to control you: "I'm going to blow up your life for no visible reason, but I'll be kind enough to let you hang around if you meet my conditions, which will require submitting to a demeaning and humiliating series of demands (including, undoubtedly, major financial sacrifice), while my behavior goes entirely unexamined because you have no right to question my commitment to this marriage." Get out, as soon as possible. Married less than a year means annulllment is a r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/24 03:32 AM |
| 2 | Challenge your lawyerHi, recently-divorced lawyer here. My $0.02: there's generally two ways to work it out: everyone can come to an agreement, or you can spend the money to fight about it & let some stranger make the decision. The advantage of making a deal is that people are more likely to keep to the deal & do what they agreed to do, than they are to do what someone else is forcing them to do. Plus, it's expensive to go to trial and face an uncertain outcome. As the client, it's always your decision which deals t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 06:58 PM |
| 2 | Wife wants a divorce, we don’t have money for lawyers.Might be a good idea to start having mail from your bank and lawyer go to an address she doesn't know about, like a p.o. box. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/23 07:30 PM |
| 3 | Best hidden cameraYou can wear a body camera with audio recording features; they're pretty cheap. But your challenge will be to keep it running whenever you are in her presence /without an alibi. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/23 04:47 PM |
| 8 | Why don't fathers tell sons not to get married?Getting married is sort of the classical prisoner's dilemma at this point for men: if it goes well, you're in a happy and stable relationship, optimal outcome. If you don't get married, you aren't subject to relationship stress, don't have to pay alimony or spend money to break up... not optimal, but far better than the worst case scenario: you get married, and one party doesn't make it stick (doesn't really matter which one), end result you lose a bunch of money and stress, plus if you have kid… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/23 03:38 PM |
| 1 | I didn't get a prenuptial agreement before getting marriedIt isn't clear to me that this is good advice; in at least a few states, a legal separation requires that the parties live separate and apart from one another with the intent of at least one of the parties not to resume cohabitation. I don't practice in community property places, but I can imagine that there may be some complications with division of property acquired after resuming cohabitation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/23 01:15 PM |
| 4 | Secure yourself financially before the marriageIt's the classical prisoner's dilemma: if one party in good faith makes themselves financially vulnerable, and the other doesn't, then guess who loses? If neither party makes themselves vulnerable (as described above) then the marriage will probably not work out anyway, but each party knows where they stand financially. Only if both parties go all in is the best result of a lasting marital partnership possible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/23 12:25 AM |
| -1 | How to have less divorcesMore premarital counseling leads to less post-marital counseling. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/23 01:56 AM |
| 12 | STBX Wife is not telling mutual friends about her affair partner - correct record or no comment?"It was mostly mutual, in that neither of us wanted me to stay with the woman who was cheating on me." "I did want a family, including a faithful spouse. She felt otherwise." "I wanted to stay in this city with my wife, rather than moving in with her and her affair partner in another town." | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/08/23 04:46 AM |
| 3 | Thoughts on 6 y/o left home alone?It depends on the child, but... 6 is very young; even the most advanced 6 year old is just not safe without supervision. 10 minutes in the car while you run in to drop off some dry-cleaning, sure; an hour at the home with no one else there seems like it's too much. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/23 03:32 PM |
| 0 | 38m and 41f wife wants to be married 50% of the time. Need adviceLook into getting an annulment if possible, rather than a divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/23 09:56 PM |
| 15 | Is it a bad idea to blow this whole thing up?Married 8 months, and she's having an affair (at latest, as far as your knowledge goes) at 4 months in? I'd investigate whether an annulment might be a better process for you to undo this particular mistake. Telling would, IMO, be a mistake unless doing so in the legal process is necessary to effect your escape. Walk away, don't look back, and especially don't stay involved in this woman's drama. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/23 01:57 PM |
| 1 | Best way to bring up divorceIt's the classical prisoner's dilemma. If talking were going to resolve this problem it would have happened a while ago. Hiring a lawyer and starting the proceedings makes it clear that things are going to change, and has protection on your side if the other party wants to be unreasonable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/23 12:43 AM |
| 1 | Best way to bring up divorceWhy? | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/23 12:11 AM |
| 2 | Best way to bring up divorceYes, to your lawyer. Let your STBX find out from the process server. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/23 05:50 AM |
| 1 | Is marriage that bad?It depends who you marry. I recommend real pre-marital counseling (not the meet the preacher one time a week before the ceremony kind), and address everything: money habits, sex, chores, religion, kids, how we decide to spend our Christmas holidays, etc. Having a firm knowledge of what you each want out of the marriage is key to knowing if you are both going to be working towards the same goal. Marriage can be great, when both parties are on the same page. It can be terrible when they aren't. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/23 04:26 AM |
| 1 | Ex requests parenting time on my time during my birthdayHer unwillingness to obey the order may be used as a basis to modify the order to reduce her time with the kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/23 07:18 PM |
| 1 | Ex requests parenting time on my time during my birthdayIf there's a persistent pattern, you might be able to modify the custody order to get her to stop making those promises to your son re: your parenting time on the grounds that her conduct is interfering with your custody and/or is having the effect of alienating your son from you. In your responses to her in OFW, you might start pointing that out each and every time she does this, to build a record. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/23 03:03 AM |
| 7 | Need help supporting newly separated man with his relationship w/ his daughterIf there's anything I know about raising a daughter, it's this: you can't be successful as a parent by trying to earn her approval. Your friend needs to stop worrying about how his daughter will feel about him, and start focusing on himself: is he doing what she needs him to do? Is there food on the table? Does he encourage her? Does he insist that she follow the rules, not because he's a petty tyrant but because she needs to learn appropriate behavior? Does he give her the opportunity to have a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/21 03:32 AM |
| 7 | My wife has tried repeatedly to get me kicked out... and it looks like she might finally succeed (rant)Nothing stops you getting your kid to another doctor for a second opinion. The treating therapist(s) are well positioned to offer a countervailing opinion (and frankly what your wife is doing looks like it might be abusive in itself, so their opinions might help you fight back). I'd recommend that you not discuss the anxiety with your kid without specific guidance from the therapist about how to do so, both to avoid making your child's position worse and to avoid being accused of coaching. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/21 07:25 PM |
| 1 | She’s cheated. She’s trying to ruin my retired parents income by taking their rental property in the divorce. And today she asked me for technical support for her new phone.The defense, however, could make good use of it. But the larger point stands: the whipsawing (alternating between nice and vicious) is an attempt to manipulate you, and any time you spend interacting with someone with whom you are not compatible is an opportunity for the friction to make things worse. Send her away. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/09/20 11:43 AM |
| 1 | I get 20% time with my kids-what do I talk about when I call them?If asking what they did gets "nothing" answers, ask them to make up a story about something they wished had done /had happen to them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/20 02:36 AM |
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