TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

TheFeminineFrame Archive

View 5 posts and 376 comments by TheFeminineFrame on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
14

Thank you for the update. Contrary to what you have prepared yourself for, the lesson here is not that it’s your fault he left and that you should have just STFU more. I think you have already learned a lot about properly vetting a man. I would further examine and put into very clear terms green and red flags that you can take from your experience. You have also learned a lot about yourself and how not to treat a partner. Even though things didn’t work out, I think you can be proud of yourself f…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/26 03:39 PM
3

If you have enough funds for it, you could have a handyman or neighborhood teenager come around once or twice a month to do those routine maintenance things. That way he doesn’t have to see you struggle to do them and he is still the one providing that service for you. You can try asking him for advice on things more often if you don’t already. Make him feel like you value and respect him and couldn’t get along without him. Make sure that you are still having fun together. Make him feel like he …
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/26 11:30 AM
1

You would think that having a very practical base would result in more dead bedrooms but I don’t actually know that is true. For example, a woman who is very monetarily motivated might not squirm at keeping her husband happy a few times a week if it keeps her life comfortable. Especially if she likes him as a person. A person motivated by culture or religion might consider it part of their duty. These people might not be as repulsed by an ugly exterior because they don’t primarily value attracti…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/26 06:38 PM
3

In a marriage they are many factors that are important to the long term health of the union. I like to imagine a line. On one end of the line we have practical issues. Things like his future prospects, compatibility issues like religion and values, does he have the basic markers for physical and emotional health? The other end of the line is all about how he makes you feel. This is attraction and butterflies. Effort into romance and exciting experiences. Some people are very practical in how the…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/26 11:51 AM
6

They say when you get married you are also marrying his family. In your husband’s case, you married his friend group and all his past relationships. He has repeatedly shown that he is not going to prioritize your marriage over his friends. Your boundaries are not crazy. Most sane people don’t want exes sitting on their spouses lap or having secret conversations exes. It is not crazy to believe that your marriage is a special relationship that should hold priority. It’s perfectly reasonable to wa…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/26 01:15 AM
1

That’s a relief. Look, his behavior is might still be childish and wrong but being unpleasant is different than throwing you into a room and padlocking the door until you behave. I know a lot of the other commenters are going to continue to point out every way that your husband is horrible. But it’s you posting here for help, not him so I am going to continue to focus on you and what you can do. Reflection time: Are you actually heavily influenced by advertisements and media? Do you regularly pu…
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/26 12:03 PM
4

There was a post from a long time ago about essentially some men are givers and some are takers. Some men, the more you do for them the more they appreciate it and will do more for you in turn. Other men, the more you do, the more they will just take it and but because their psychology is a little different they don’t respond by doing more in return. The post has some tips for dealing with each type of man. Anyone happen to remember and have a link for that article? I haven’t read the book “Why …
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 07:00 PM
1

Haha. Love it. Give him the girlfriend experience!
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 06:36 PM
4

Thanks for this. Some highlights for me: > Harsh words that we barely flinch at during arguments are often the same ones that haunt us later once the flooding fades and the logical parts of our brain start taking over again. There have been many times when I my husband has asked for feedback during an emotional conversation where I have told him things along the lines of: “I think anything I say right now would be retaliatory.” “I’m too emotional right now. I we would just be rehashing things th…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 05:17 PM
2

Yes, he may potentially need a mental health intervention if he will accept it. I am glad that you were able to help your husband get to a better place. This is such a hard place to be in.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 03:37 PM
5

I think it is a very reasonable ask for you to help him a little with language learning. I would try to make that a priority. I do also wonder if there could be secret money troubles. The sudden change of wanting you to go 50/50, freaking out over being slow on making business contacts, overreacting to buying clothes, etc. Obviously his reactions and calling you a demon are completely unhinged. I am glad that you don’t feel physically unsafe. Abuse can start at any time. Maybe I am misreading th…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/26 01:09 PM
7

The big thing I see here is a recent move to a new country where even the language is unknown. I can easily see a man having a lot of confusion in this situation. Not everyone is a world explorer who gets a high out of being thrown into a completely different culture. He could easily be experiencing a lot of fear, loneliness, displacement, his own lack of purpose, etc. You are now the one who is guiding him, has a job, has family and a support structure. He could be trying to feel in control by …
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 07:16 PM
12

It sounds like although you’ve been disrespectful for a long time he has just kind of snapped. Was there a specific event to trigger this extreme change? Even if you’ve been far less than perfect your whole marriage, this extreme of a change so quickly is very odd. Is there Something big you’ve done to trigger this? Midlife crisis? Feeling out of control moving to your country? Introduced to the men’s red pill? Brain damage? I want to make it clear that I think his current behavior is abhorrent.…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 06:25 PM
2

You’re not even moving to his country. This feels like a dead end. Get to where you’re going and find someone that you can actually be with.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 02:35 PM
1

If you think that you do actually love your boyfriend you can see how things go once you get to his country. It is his country you are moving to? How long before you can reasonably move there? Things will feel a lot different in person. It could be better or worse. If you don’t actually love him, just let him go. Get to your new country before you start dating again.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 02:32 PM
6

What do you mean “he has also been hurting me recently”? For real though, the fact that you can even contemplate dropping your boyfriend on a whim says a lot. I don’t know if he’s good for you or if this lack of communication is just a temporary issue as he gets settled in his new job. Maybe he truly is awful. I do know that you don’t really love the guy. Rip the bandaid off. Then be single. Do not go for a man who is still married who is going after you because you are easy and his only option.…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/26 02:19 PM
5

Central to all my advice will be remembering 1: Your husband is under an incredible amount of stress. 2: There is an end date. This phase of life will be over in a couple years. Because you are the higher libido spouse right now, a lot of the initiating is going to fall on you. Timing is going to be essential here. If he is having an especially stressful week or board exams are coming up or something, you are probably going to need to white knuckle that desire. Opt for lower pressure activities …
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/26 11:14 PM
25

There is nothing but a field of red flags here. You met him on a notorious hookup app. He hasn’t had a long term relationship. You were sexting before you even met the man. He told you that you were incompatible for wanting fidelity. You had sex the first time you met him. He didn’t care to even try to make you feel comfortable during your encounter. He’s still on the dating apps. He’s putting less effort into pursuing you. I think you already know the answer even if you don’t want it to be true…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/26 02:12 AM
60

Um….none. Consider this your exit point. Block him and don’t give him any opportunity to get back into your life.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/26 04:37 PM
3

I have made a post of some general vetting guidelines. Some things might be obvious right off the bat, especially if you have a strong sense of self, and other things might take a little more time to flesh out but you should be able to get a sense without wasting years on someone who isn’t good for you. https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/6mhWot3nhU
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/26 10:57 AM
1

I agree that if she insists on a full on Christian Grey then she will need to be very patient and discerning in her selection. I think the most reasonable compromise she could make that would ultimately make her most happy would be to find a man who is as I described, has a desire to lead his family, has demonstrated at least some level of competence and leadership, and is amenable to experimenting with this dom/sub type dynamic she is interested in. She will still need to be discerning but I th…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 01:32 PM
1

I really don’t think we’re disagreeing here. We both recognize that her fantasy has the potential to put her into a harmful position and she should adjust how she is looking at the situation. Am I reading this incorrectly?
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 12:49 PM
0

I would much rather see op find and marry a man who is respectful, have common values she will feel good about following, etc. If they have a strong foundation then they can start to experiment with the more extreme facets she is interested in. I think that will give her the best results and have advised her as such. Surely you aren’t intending to suggest that her predominate vetting factor should be to find a man who will control her like a child but who will also treat her unkindly because tho…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 12:44 PM
4

Once at the beginning of my marriage there was a particular issue that we were stuck on. I got permission from my husband to ask for advice from a friend. I have also asked for advice on the as I understand it, now defunct, red pill women’s discord server. I have sought help for sorting through issues in therapy. These situations have all worked out well for me. I am very cautious about how and who I share information with but it is good to know that I can have an additional support system if I …
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/26 11:05 AM
11

OP, if I could offer one more piece of advice it would be to dip into this slowly when you find a good man. Sometimes fantasies don’t translate exactly the way we imagine into reality. Sometimes it takes some fine tuning to get right. Do some more research into people who live this way and how they make it work on a practical level. Do some trial runs. For example, start out letting him pick out your outfits for date nights. If that goes well, you can do it more frequently. Maybe he picks certai…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/26 09:50 PM
11

Perhaps I am misreading your comment but I don’t think it is unrealistic for someone to prioritize looking for a partner who is respectful and takes their wellbeing into consideration. Even in very traditional relationships and kink relationships, these expectations are reasonable. In these kinds of relationships I would even say that these standards are especially important. I am sure that the op does want this for herself but I have seen enough times women who want this sort of relationship mi…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/26 03:20 PM
38

Obviously, my only firm condition is that he be a provider. Obviously, you also mean to say that you have the firm condition that he must treat you kindly and respectfully. Obviously he must have good moral character and his value system must be compatible with yours. Obviously he must be taking his life in a direction that you would be happy to follow. Obviously he must keep your best interests at heart. Obviously he leads in a way that you feel safe and valued. Obviously.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/26 09:11 AM
28

If he goes at it so hard that he gets sore and bleeds then he is a heavy user. This guy is not going to be able to just quit. Even if he is sincere in his desire to quit, you should expect years of effort before he’s completely off it. He also isn’t considerate to you at all during sex. You’ve given no indication in your text that he even cares to change or to make sex a good experience for you. All signs point to yes he is still using porn, no — what you’ve described is not normal, and it is do…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/26 05:09 PM
4

Seeing as porn is a major involvement, I havean article specifically addressing the issue. Maybe something there will be useful to you.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/26 10:40 AM
9

Get yourself whatever help you can so that you can be more relaxed when he gets home. If you have the money this might look like childcare and cleanings. I also recognize that saying, “Just throw some money at it! Easy!” is a ridiculous thing to say if you don’t have any money. If this of you, then other solutions might look like declutterring and cleaning systems, cutting corners like using paper plates and using a bin system for laundry. Meal prepping. Look for help with the children too. This…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/26 09:44 AM
8

Therapy might be beneficial for you. Consider individual therapy to focus on healing and your own feelings of insecurity. Work on your own to fix things you are insecure about yourself. Don’t go into this to try fix him, but to get closer to your ideal self. Be sure to make time for your hobbies and friendships. If you two are at a place where you are trying to reconnect don’t bring up your insecurities, on say, a date. If you are struggling emotionally bring it up first with a therapist, in a s…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/26 03:10 PM
3

1) Demanding an allowance from a boyfriend is weird and most guys wouldn’t go for that. Even men who have the means and would be willing to give an allowance to a live in girlfriend would be put off by an outright demand. 2) House wife duties when you’re not a wife is not a good idea. You feel taken advantage of because you have been. And he didn’t even have to do anything! You told him you were going to do this when he told you he wasn’t in a position to financially. Then you took on that role …
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/26 05:09 PM
10

I am going to second the advice from u/Wife_and_Mama to seek emotional fulfillment from other sources. Get hobbies, get involved in your community, take care of your body, spend time with friends. I know that with lots of children and not enough support to go around, finding the time and resources to do these things can feel almost impossible. Look for places that you can simplify or systems you can implement to make things easier. This might look like major decluttering or toy rotation system t…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/26 05:11 PM
–

I am going to second your advice that if he wants to control this behavior then he needs to be responsible for finding appropriate accountability. OP, you don’t want to put yourself in a role where you are the one who is responsible for monitoring him, doling out consequences, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/26 11:08 PM
2

Glad you are feeling better. There was a fantastic post the other day that that might be a good reminder when these feelings pop up again. I also have an article that goes into the “why’s” of decreased SMV with practical tips to help combat it.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/26 03:39 PM
10

Maybe so. We all draw from our own experience. When I was dating, those were the types of girls who tended to get snatched up fastest by the most desirable men. Not to say other personalities don’t get successfully married. The tax bracket and educational level create opportunity to socialize with those men and that can’t be denied.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 02:30 PM
32

It’s not about the earning capacity. A woman with a career of business has something to talk about and say about herself on a first date. She doesn’t immediately set off alarm bells that she is looking to take advantage of him. She will fit into his circle and he will have something to say about her. Often these women will have either a quiet sort of confidence that draws people in and makes them feel safe or she will have a vibrancy to her that comes from living a passionate life. This is in ad…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/26 01:00 PM
1

The best way to see a change in your life is to stop dismissing possibilities and start taking action. Are there get togethers for your ethnicity? Most people in your area might marry someone from their own culture but not all. Is it more important that they be from your culture or that they share your religion? Is it you who doesn’t want to marry from outside your culture? Asking your family hasn’t worked. Try asking elderly people. They love playing matchmaker. What methods are you willing to …
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/26 06:06 PM
1

You might need to be patient but you don’t need to wait! If it’s been awhile since you last asked your friends, ask again. A Google search tells me that you can pay for bumble premium to filter by religion. Or whatever dating app is most used in your city… Start your own singles get togethers. Is your uninterested coworker is truly the only single Muslim man in your age range in your area? If so then widen the age range you are willing to date. Or make plans to relocate to an area with a large M…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/26 05:14 PM
1

It is impossible to tell if he is just kind of dense about noticing subtle interest cues, if he is completely uninterested, or if he is trying to keep things professional. Does he ever initiate conversation with you? An invitation to coffee would be the surest way lay the matter to rest. Another option would be to employ the art of the bad excuse. Ask him to help with some work project or to help carry heavy boxes or something. Get creative. If that doesn’t work then recognize that you are not b…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/26 04:19 PM
1

I am just talking about being friendly, smiling, asking about how work is going. This is called being polite. Yes. You should continue to extend basic courtesy. I will also mention that if this is the extent of the conversations that you have initiated he might easily be mistaking your interest for basic office small talk. But for now I don't know why I should not use the work situation to my advantage. This depends entirely on your work situation. If neither of you are a "work superior" and you…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/26 03:03 PM
1

As to the man you work with, I would not push trying to form a relationship. He sounds very lukewarm. Your energy will best be spent elsewhere. The first thing that I would suggest you do is self evaluate. Some of this stuff might not apply to you but if you have never been in a relationship it is worth honest reflection. Do you look after your health and hygiene? Do you dress in a way that is flattering? Do you come across as warm, open, engaging, confident? Or are your mannerisms and body lang…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/26 12:09 PM
4

This is the way.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/26 12:32 PM
9

I’m not saying it never works but if you plan to entertain long distance you also need to be prepared to encounter a higher number than normal of unserious men. Especially if you’re finding these guys on dating apps. Don’t go looking for long distance. Dating is hard enough as it is without adding in complicated factors that decrease your chance of success.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/26 06:35 PM
21

A common denominator I am noticing here is men who don’t live near you. Long distance creates little opportunity for a woman who wants a committed relationship and a whole lot of opportunity for a man looking for just a little bit of fun. In the case of your 1.5 year on/off again man, multiple breakups should always be a huge indicator that either something is seriously wrong between you or he just isn’t serious.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/26 06:22 PM
1

I have been thinking more about you and you might benefit from one of my posts: https://thefeminineframe.com/female-friendships-and-the-big-5-personality-traits/
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/26 12:26 PM
10

This is unavoidable. I have only dabbled a little with making this sort of content. When I say something that rp men like I get a 50/50 response from them. They are either very supportive or they will still trash me because they are suspicious of my angle. Note that when I say something supporting their worldview the feminists will also come out in droves to scream at me. If I say anything that is supportive of women, some of the same men who previously left nice comments would turn on me. How v…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/26 12:21 PM
2

It will feel difficult but you cannot let past experiences dictate your future. These people cannot get to know your best qualities if you hide yourself away. Best of luck to you.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/26 08:29 PM
3

Even if you could not have foreseen the behavior of others, it happened. My advice is that the paranoia and insecurities you now have must be recognized and dealt with. At the very least, be aware enough not to project these onto your husband and his associates. It is good that you have your own private retreat and it is healthy in a marriage to create your own home that is safe from the rest of the world. But it is also advisable to acknowledge that your husband does have a role in the outside …
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/26 03:51 PM
9

Don't date men who have major unrelsoved issues and drama from exes. This is a "could've, should've, would've" for you but I mention it as a cautionary example for other young ladies reading. I felt like I don’t belong into his world and I want to separate that from mine too. When we marry we enter the other person's world. If you want to be content in your marriage you will need to learn to appreciate the best aspects of your husband's world and to participate in his life with as positive an at…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/26 02:44 PM
20

There is so much going on here. I kept my marriage a secret a few years in fear of scrutiny since he is 15 years older and away often. Were you afraid of the judgement of others or afraid that they were right? I am not inherently against age gap marriages depending upon the maturity of the woman and man involved. Your statement gives pause. Also I have a feeling I felt more watched. I already encountered some of his friends and acquaintances a few times in the city or on some event, one was from…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/26 01:21 PM
38

Without being a fly in the wall it will be impossible to nail down everything she did. What we do know aside from just being a pretty face — She chose journalism as a career. This gave her high visibility and allowed her to meet higher value men. When we trouble shoot for women who are having problems meeting men there are always a few questions we ask: 1) are you the type of woman who would attract that type of man. 2) what are you doing to meet those men? Lauren was able to position herself to…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/25 12:19 AM
25

⁠>do 99% of the childcare and house work while also working full time. This is not sustainable. Having a full time traditional wife is a privilege for a traditional man who provides a full income. make no decisions without consulting him This is not something that is advocated here. Yes, consult him for big decisions, things that will impact him. But part of being a good first officer is being competent and being able to make some day to day decisions. ⁠>give him my undivided attention. Based on…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 01:42 PM
5

If he really was concerned about me, he would have picked his words carefully and stopped being so argumentative and hostile towards me Let me fix this for you… “He’s should have picked his words more carefully” People have emotions and react to those emotions, sometimes very imperfectly. Even you. Like right now. I can think of lots of reasons why he might have acted the way he did… Maybe he secretly does have romantic feelings for you and hearing about your love life is painful. Maybe somethin…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/25 12:34 PM
5

Maybe so. But then the man must then learn from necessity and desire — assuming he is dissatisfied with his current highly processed diet. I highly doubt it. OP trying to force him to do it kicking and screaming is not yielding good results. This is the more concerning part to me...from one of her comments: My boyfriend also told me that, for him, "cooking is for women." This indicates a lack of consideration and sense of entitlement. Even in traditional roles where the woman cooks there should …
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 08:46 PM
12

He has survived 27 years without knowing how to cook. While his meals might not promote optimal health, they have worked well enough for him so far that he has no reason to learn. He might even have other things occupying his mind and time that he prioritizes. Would you be happy to cook for your boyfriend everyday were you to get married? Does he have the expectation that you are going to cook for him? Because it doesn’t appear that he has any desire to learn. If the thought of being the only ch…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 08:10 PM
4

You are the one that might need to be reeled in! Lol. Not saying to never make his favorite treats but it doesn’t need to be every night. Remember, you are trying to build long term habits. Also, to the point of considering how he feels — instead of encouraging eating consider encouraging him to take actions that will help him grow into the man that he wants to become.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 04:40 PM
3

He is still really young! A lot of guys his age still have growing to do so that doesn’t necessarily ring alarm bells. Does the weight gain also include some muscle gain? If so then I wouldn’t be concerned at all. I think the main focus would be that you both try to implement and maintain healthy habits that will follow you through life.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 04:27 PM
3

Part of it is probably a natural maturation that comes with age but you are correct that weight gain can lead to loss of energy and lowered testosterone. A few things to consider… What are the causes of the weight gain and is his weight continuing to trend upward? Besides lowered testosterone and energy, how else has his health been affected by this? You like some of these changes but how does he feel about himself. Does he like the changes? Is he also happy with the effect on your relationship?…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/25 04:17 PM
2

Love this update! So happy for you!
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/25 07:40 PM
11

Thanks for your list. I think its a great post. Vetting is crucial. Not every man is going to make a good husband and you can't submit bad behavior out of a man like described in your list. Congrats on your amazing fiance! I'm glad you've found a healthier relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/25 07:46 PM
4

So much YES to all of this! 1) Expecting your husband to always want to do everything with you all the time is unrealistic. If he were like this you would probably find him clingy and be begging for some space. Also true that you can and should do things to make yourself happy whether or not he is involved in that. 2) Big religion change over here! Yes, try to vet as much as you can on values and character but also know that sometimes things do change. Or sometimes thinking something and actuall…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/25 03:13 PM
1

Thanks for your great insights. I think mean girls in your personal life take a different prescription than the mass social politically encouraged mean girls. I touched upon briefly that you can stay very openly polite but still guarded. Because a lot of this mean girl behavior is not something you can see openly, if you start a campaign against the mean girl or get really emotional defending yourself it can make you seem like the crazy, imbalanced one. A good real life example where we can see …
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/25 03:28 PM
3

It is certainly true that some mean girls never grow out of it. It is also true that there are groups that it is socially acceptable to bully and cancel. I have been seeing a much more bold pushback to some of these very public tactics and movements you are talking about. More people are speaking out boldly and these mass bullying tactics are losing their grip. Do you have any advice for dealing with mean girls, both on a personal level and on a macro social level?
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 11:53 PM
9

No problem! Another idea…could you visit other similar churches in your area? Some of them might have a younger crowd and you would widen your circle of people with similar values. Good luck to you!
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 10:56 PM
16

See if there are any hiking groups near you. Go to church. Be shameless about dropping the handkerchief at the gym (ask for advice on a lift or helping loading a machine). Ask your friends and family if they know any good matches for you. Say yes to invites to social gatherings.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 08:56 PM
2

I’m not sure about that. I have started making videos of some of my posts but I haven’t gotten to this one yet. It would be the same information though. I know it can be a slog reading through all that and it’s nice to see a face.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 08:03 PM
3

The hard part is putting it all into practice. You've identified already some really great areas to work on. Get a handle on those first and then evalute if there are any other changes you need to make.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 05:36 PM
3

You are already working on things that will demonstrate change. Getting financial stability, working on your mental health, stopping sleeping around. These are the types of things that mastery over time will change you as a person. People can tell. Continue working on this stuff. The article I sent you has a big section headered -- Your Step by Step Guide to Becoming Wife Material. This goes over a lot of this stuff including the taking accountability part.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 05:15 PM
1

Thank you! I am glad you found some of my articles useful.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 01:29 PM
6

I would really recommend you be persistent at the dating apps as they will put you in contact with a wide variety of men. I would also think about where these alternative men that you are drawn to are hanging out. Go where they go. You’re are very concerned with what your family thinks. What is your relationship like? Do they have your best interests at heart? Have they recognized bad choices in men and tried to give you warning in the past? If so their judgment may be better than yours and you …
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 01:29 PM
3

Keep working on those finances and transportation. Dating apps can be overwhelming but be persistent and optimistic. How do you feel about motorcycles and tattoos? Given your sexual history and interest in witchcraft, you might find men who are a little more alternative to be more open minded.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 12:27 PM
2

Where are you going to find men?
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 11:44 AM
4

That’s really great! There is a recommended guideline to wait to have sex until after you are in a relationship. I know that people have lots of different opinions on this but for you it might be beneficial to stick to this guideline. This will help you avoid men like the one you thought was pursuing you. It takes skill and intuition to be able to recognize sincere men and you need practice to develop this. My next question is what are you doing to get in front of this type of man? The type of m…
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 11:41 AM
5

No, you should not just give up. Some men will care but lots and lots won’t. Have you resolved the mental health issues that led you to rack up your body count? If not then that is the place to start. You are not a hopeless case so please do not lose hope. I have an article that goes into much further detail on how you can find love with a high body count.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/25 10:16 AM
4

Her youtube channel is "Yael Explains It All" I have been noticing a large uptick in posts about female friendship so am almost done working on an article to help address that. Coming soon ;)
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 07:31 PM
3

I totally understand that point of view. If you are picking this strategy, a few things to be very mindful of: Are you the type of woman that this man would pick? What sets you apart from other women? What value do you add? Do you come into regular contact with this caliber of man? If you do, do these men show genuine interest in building a relationship with you? If you don't, how do you intend to get in front of them? Does this man have the good character that u/Wife_and_Mama described? Does he…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 05:40 PM
4

There is so much going on in why this is changing! I think that some factors might be social media life envy, a poor economy for young people makes established feel a whole lot safer, and being plastered with options on dating apps makes it feel like they can filter for a Jeff Bezos. I agree that a rich man is just as likely to leave you, maybe even more so. My guess as to the line of thinking is that you have a lot less personally invested in the rich man so have a lot less to lose if he does l…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 04:41 PM
4

That makes sense why they would have that sort of high-school competitive relationship with you, thats the stage of life that you were when you met. I bet that some of these girls are making new friendships outside the group that have a more mature dynamic but they revert back to what they know when they are with you. If you want to try to maintain a closeness with them, you could try to invite them to hang out in new environments. This may or may not work. Otherwise they can just naturally fade…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 04:34 PM
5

There are absolutely risks associated with picking the unicorn millionaire. The biggest risk is that a unicorn never picks you! There aren't a lot of them out there and the competition will be steep. There is also the risk, as you point out, that he could lose it all. That does happen. He could have glaring personality flaws that make him a shark in business but a poor partner, etc. I absolutely agree that it is the qualities a man posesses that determine the quality of the man, not neccessarily…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 04:16 PM
3

Sounds like your "friend" still has high school maturity. You say that this is a frequent experience for you. A couple of things to keep in mind: Incremental reciprocation doesn't have to apply only to romantic relationships. If you keep pouring into a friendship and getting negativity like this in return then maybe this person isn't a good match for you. When you keep giving your positivity, energy, help, effort, etc and its not being returned then back off. In the case of a person who is repea…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 04:09 PM
5

The risk with potential, is as you stated, he never reaches it. The advantage is that you will have a much wider pool of available men and the opportunity to build a strong foundation with that man. One must weigh the risks against their own objective SMV/RMV and the dating pool available. There are also ways to reduce the risks if you know what to look for. Parental relationships being one of them!
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 02:24 PM
3

It’s really hard to say if there are any glaring issues that you need to work on without any information about you. I will say that working on the three areas you have identified will significantly improve your life. Focus on doing this consistently and don’t feel like you have to do everything at once. Sometimes it can be a mistake to try to do too much at once. Stay the course! If you don’t have a social network waiting for you in your new city you can scout out some social opportunities onlin…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 12:37 PM
2

He can check out SCORE. They will match him with an experienced mentor for free.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 09:00 AM
14

A few signs that he is serious about you and making your potential union last for the long haul: He is direct and dating for marriage. He should be direct about his feelings and where he intends to take the relationship. None of this, “Let’s see where this goes“ attitude. As soon as he knows he’s not going to marry you, the relationship ends. He’s not stringing you along. He knows what his values are. Sure, people do change over time, but if he has a strong sense of self he is going to be active…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 08:49 AM
0

He didn’t put any pressure on going back to his place and offered the alternative to go to an event. Nothing about this is indicating a situationship. Editing to add — if you are unsure where this is going you can ask him. “I really like you and see this leading to XYZ. Do you feel the same?”
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/25 01:09 AM
1

If he does make any rash decisions, look to see if there is any low cost insurance programs for children available in your state. You can also look into Healthshare programs.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 09:27 PM
1

Here’s another out there solution to propose to him…could he leverage the time and talents of others to help get his app up and running? Instead of quitting his job, could he use a portion of your savings that you decide together, to hire smart and talented people to write code, design, advise on any legal considerations, market,etc? This would give him experience managing a budget and people while also accomplishing his goal of getting this off the ground faster. This could help limit your risk…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 08:16 PM
5

I wouldn’t put pressure on yourself to believe. You are alone in a new country. Aside from the spiritual belief, you share values. I would consider going to church, not with the mindset that you are going to convert, but with the goal of building a community. I see so many lonely, isolated women come into this forum who are conservative but not religious. They really struggle to find community and romantic partners because most people who are openly like them are religious and those people meet …
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/25 12:03 PM
8

I occasionally enjoy Taraban and think he has some interesting insights. The thing you have to understand about him is that his therapy practice specializes in men's issues. He comes into contact daily with men who are either having trouble getting women to even look at them or who are dealing with messy divorce. His interest is in helping these men and his opinions skewed by the experiences of the men who come to him everyday for help. If you can keep that in mind when watching him, its easier …
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/25 08:20 PM
4

I’m quite young-looking and can never seem to be able to perceive myself as a sensual woman. I can’t become comfortable with the space I occupy and always feel like I’m intruding or unwanted. I’m hopeless at flirting I would start here. If you don't feel comfortable in your own skin then you might unintentionally be giving off "Stay away" vibes or "I'm not a good catch" vibes. Even if you don't feel confident, practice confident body language. Practice standing tall, practice open hand placement…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/25 01:51 PM
3

We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Different people find different things discouraging. When making a personal strategy those should be taken into account. I don’t know op. I don’t know if she belongs to any niches. I don’t know her personal strengths and weaknesses. I do know that she said she did not want to do traditional dating apps. I don’t disagree with you that it wouldn’t hurt her to try a traditional dating app. That doesn’t mean that she can’t also utilize other strategies…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/25 10:12 PM
2

I agree that having an awareness and acceptance of this is going to be more helpful than trying to fight it. You can’t change the situation but you can change your situation.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/25 08:04 PM
3

Thanks for the further explanations. You are probably right. Women obviously evolved these sorts of subversive communication styles to have the best possible outcomes for themselves and their offspring. With that in mind do you think that the smartest thing for a woman who wants to forge tight connnections would be to learn the rules and play along? Should we, rather than assigning malicious intent to most interactions, instead just accept that there are social niceties that keep society running…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/25 07:22 PM
1

Regina would be the obvious example of this and harnesses that ruthless awareness of the girl code. Most girls are not at the top of the food chain, so to speak. Do you think when most women act like this they are operating from an overtly malicious place? If a woman wanted to make close girl friends do you think the best course of action would be to try to play within the rules?
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/25 07:01 PM
4

Would you say that women are fully aware that they are doing this or are they operating in the subconscious? For example, in your video you use the scenario where a woman will tell another woman that her ill-fitting outfit actually looks good. Obviously there are some women who will be aware of this and act ruthlessly. Do you think that the majority of women would say this to intentionally sabotage the other woman or do you think at the surface they just think to themselves that they don’t want …
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/25 06:39 PM
2

This is true. There are going to be far less people on these apps. If she is a member of a specific niche then these can be helpful in that you have preselected for certain values. There is going to be far less slogging through the sea of men who are incompatible. The tradeoff is, of course, that a lot less people know about and use them, even this men in her target demographic. If you are someone who loves meeting new people and can keep realistic expectations for first dates then the wide net …
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/25 05:28 PM
4

This is going to be highly dependent on what communities you belong to. Some examples… The Right Stuff for conservatives J Date for Jewish people Muslima for Muslims Farmers Only for country folk There are tons of these kinds of sites. I don’t know of there is anything that you would fit into but if you do they could be a resource to try. If there is a community you belong to, do a search and see if there is something for it. I can’t personally vouch for any of these but it could be worth a try.…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/25 11:54 PM
21

You could try physically activity that has a social aspect to it. Running clubs, hiking clubs, cross fit, martial arts, etc. Take advantage of your existing social circle. Say yes to invites where you can meet mutual friends. You can also let these people know you are single and ready to mingle. You can try niche dating sites. I know you said you aren’t religious but there are dating apps for things like politics or certain cultures. Check to see if there are local singles events. If there are m…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/25 11:37 PM
3

I’m sure there might be someone reading this for whom the advice will be useful. Not all is lost :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/25 07:42 PM
4

This is way too early to be having this sort of tension. Does not bode well.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/25 07:34 PM
4

This is a very insightful reply for other women who are more established in their relationships. Love this take.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/25 07:33 PM
3

I would suggest a group get together. If you have some other numbers from people in lab you can tell him you are inviting them yourself. Or you can ask him to send out a group message putting together the study group and add you on it (that way you know he has actually done it.) A socially suave man will get the hint. If he's not so socially experienced, you will still be in a group and have some protection from unwanted advances. If he presses the issue or does anything to make you feel uncomfo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/25 07:18 PM
16

I truly wouldn't count on him coming to terms with your past. Lots of women have things that they consider "icks". Things that logically shouldn't bother them but that repulse them to the core. For many men a big "ick" is sexual history. Your boyfriend is trying to logic that you have changed and that you love him and he loves you. It doesn't matter. There is not going to be anything that you can say or do that will logic away this feeling for him. I have written extensivley my thoughts on this …
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/25 07:00 PM
2

Your responses show enormous understanding and wisdom. Let go of those expectations and rest. <3
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/25 03:47 PM
2

We talk about wife duties but it sounds like you were doing husband duties for your boyfriend. You were putting your time and labour into trying to build him up. You might find the "Keys to the Kingdom" book to be interesting. It talks about how some men need to have a woman by their side to build up their kingdom but other men need to have the kingdom built up before they feel secure enough to bring in a queen. It might feel sad for all the love and effort you have put into kingdom building for…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/25 02:31 PM
3

Burnout is rough! It sort of becomes this cyclical problem where you no longer have the energy for self-care and the ability to muster kind acts and appreciation drops off the cliff with your morale, so then of course you become more burned out. You really have to force yourself to practice gratitude and self-care and it might be a "fake it till you make it" situation for a while. And as you have experienced, the burnout also affects how our partners are able to show love to us. I am really sorr…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/25 02:06 PM
9

Do what you want. If, however, you want this marriage (or any other relationship for that matter) to be successful it would behoove you to do some self-reflection. I get jealous and resentful when I see friends or family back home who are growing financially much quicker than us. I fear it’ll never happen to us. And there was always a huge expectation on me being very successful and I struggle to feel like I’m not reaching my potential, and I’m letting my parents down, after they invested so muc…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/25 01:02 PM
2

I hope that you have been able to start forgiving yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/25 02:46 PM
3

This will come with time. Blocking him is a big first step towards that end. Wishing you well!
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/25 02:09 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/25 02:06 PM
16

I wonder if he was serious about me by doing that or was he just showing me off? It doesn't matter if he thought his feelings were real or if he wanted to leave his wife. He was still bound by marriage and was never free to be with you. Hes really good at gaslighting someone. And has me thinking im the wrong one. I feel used.... You should feel used. A married man is not in a position to be at serious with you. The very nature of affairs are that they begin with a lie. The fact that he would par…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/25 01:42 PM
13

An engagement ring is a symbol of your love and commitment to each other. Get the $100 ring that you love. How much it costs is no one’s business. The money you save in a ring can be put to good use starting your lives together. If in a few years you want something else you can always upgrade.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/25 10:39 PM
1

Thanks. I have put my mind to being and a couple red flags might be excessive sleeping around/porn usage. Also if he refers to other women as “whores” or in other derogatory ways.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/25 10:21 AM
3

As a woman I tend to think the same. I would only want to selectively give my heart (and body) to a man who I think is worthy and who offers long term compatibility. As a woman I also could see keeping n-count low and offering sex only to men who have shown sincerity of commitment. I do think that there are men who do use n-count to vet women for long term compatibility. A man might reasonably be concerned about a woman’s ability to remain committed and faithful if her count is very high. He mig…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/25 09:46 PM
3

I agree that a non-religious man in this scenario will likely not want to wait for marriage. Even if he had a preference for virgins he would hope to be attractive enough for her to break her rules. Hopefully he still respects her if she does. In the scenario that they do make it to the alter there is the possibility that he then sees her as impure. I think the greater danger however, would be a Madonna/whore complex. I think he is more likely to continue seeing her as someone pure and to not ac…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/25 06:46 PM
5

I am not willing to blanket condemn men who value sexual purity. We have already made exception for the religious man who holds himself to the same standard. I think there are some men who although not themselves virgins may be impressed by a virgin because it is to them a physical sign that she holds other high virtues. Things like an unhardened innocence to the world, self control, good judgment. This type of man may not exclude non-virgins but still much prefer a lower body count. I think we …
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/25 05:34 PM
7

When looking at this topic through a historical lens, men were sometimes encouraged (or at least a blind eye turned) to “sow wild oats” and then would marry their virgin bride. A few factors to consider. Marriages then were often rooted far more in practical considerations than today when romantic love is the primary consideration. An exchange of household labor for upkeep. Strengthening family ties and social status. The appearance of respectability. Producing heirs in the case of upper classes…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/25 04:53 PM
6

Do his reasons really matter? He isn’t ready for a relationship with you. If you want to be in a relationship then yes, you should end it and seek someone who is able to give that to you. How do you tell him? “I really care for you and it is hurting me to keep seeing you like this when you’ve been so honest about your intentions. I can’t do this anymore.” And yes, you should cancel dinner.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/25 06:48 PM
6

What do you hope to get by messaging him? He has told you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship — believe him! I would strongly recommend you start dating other men. Find someone who is enthusiastically ready to be with you.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/25 06:04 PM
5

The first thing I would do is to reflect on why you are staying married. If you know your “whys” then it can help you take a sense of accountability over that decision and feel more in control. He's still controlling about how me and the kids spend our time. Does this mean that he is putting up physical and financial controls to stop you? Things like denying you access to family funds or access to transportation. Or do you mean to say that he disapproves of how you spend your time? If it’s the f…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/25 03:08 PM
3

I would start by building homemaking skills and building routines around them. Learn to cook and do it regularly fit yourself. Work out a cleaning system and make it a habit. Make your home inviting. Keep up a fitness routine. Pick up any other hobbies you are interested in. I would also recommend the Laura Doyle book “The Surrendered Single.” Start learning how to effectively communicate with a partner now, before you are in a relationship and avoid common mistakes that many women make. If you …
/r/RedPillWives03/10/25 12:38 AM
12

Block him. Continuing to rely on him as your only support system and holding out for a dream future with him is only going to result in you feeling like you've wasted your time away. Rip off the band-aid and accept that it is going to feel really bad for awhile. But not forever. He still texts to check in on me, and we're in the same online social circle. I can't cut him off completely because I care about him and I really don't have anyone else and I'm in a difficult spot mentally, and obviousl…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 08:01 PM
0

Haha! Mostly good I hope! ;)
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 04:36 PM
10

You might have heard people say that the red pill is descriptive, not prescriptive. It describes how men and women actually behave. It doesn’t assign moral value to either sex. The individual learns through the interpretation of their own experiences and assigns that value. Even the well adjusted man can feel anger/negativity when first coming across red pill content —- not because women are “bad”but because he feels anger at the contrast in how he thought the world operates and how it actually …
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/25 11:53 AM
4

If you can still fit in pre-baby clothes you are doing more than amazing! I mean, are you kidding me? You’re drop dead gorgon!
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/25 05:37 PM
4

Fantastic recommendations. Well done!
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/25 12:05 PM
5

This is a really tough situation and I'm sorry that you are still feeling alone in your marriage a year after your last post. I also have a couple of questions for you to reflect on: Is your husband willing to make changes? What is keeping you in this marriage? What are your hard boundaries? What do you want your marriage to look like going forward? I don’t want to be this person. I’m tired of worrying what my husband is doing/lying about. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of being run down and o…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/25 05:15 PM
4

Thanks for the clarification. It sounds like this is an area where he needs to build some confidence. Just like you can practice being more assertive with your desires, he can learn to be more confident about making decisions. Continue practicing voicing your opinion. In the example, since you really didn’t care perhaps you could have defaulted to expressing the desire that you already discussed. When he does make a decision continue to give him reassurance. Skills like these take time and pract…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/25 01:47 PM
5

I can see that your boyfriend does have some leadership! He actively works to solve problems for you, like your new cord. That is taking initiative. If he asks for your opinion, give it. “Is it ok if we sit this one out (food truck)? We can catch up with friends another time. What do you think?” He wants to make you happy! At the same time he is not a mind reader. Give him the information and then allow him to make a decision. We have since repeated similar back and forth in these situations, an…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/25 12:17 PM
1

I’m not a mind reader but… There were also one or two times when he kept telling me about these dates he was going on (think he only went on like two?) before he went on the dates It sounds like he has had plenty of time to make a move on you and he hasn’t. But he has made moves on other girls. Let that sink in. It could be he is just immature and inexperienced in how to act around women (he’s only 21 after all!). So if you want to be bold you can reveal your feelings but be understanding if you…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/25 02:22 AM
13

I'm tall (6 feet) and not very well proportioned (weird lower hip area), which as a girl makes me stand out Embrace it. This is something that if you are confident will help you stand out from other girls. If you’re tired of feeling invisible then stop trying to hide the most visible aspect of yourself. I also only wear long sleeve shirts & long pants, but because I am really insecure of my proportions, I wear baggy/athleisure clothing which just makes me look even more weird. If you’re going to…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/25 12:05 AM
11

Communication — Learning to get to the heart of the issue and addressing that rather than being reactionary and attacking only the symptoms. Learning to be respectful even when you disagree or are feeling negative emotions. Learning to evaluate your own emotions and actions and be willing to take accountability for them. Learning when not to talk. Is it something is important or should you let it go. Not every passing annoyance needs to be communicated. Is it important? Is this what is really bo…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/25 10:24 PM
5

This is tough because even though it is a “him problem” it does impact you. Being able to brush this off is easier said than done. I think the important things here when considering whether to continue the relationship is whether he recognizes and takes accountability for the problem. Does he care enough about you to take steps to change and is he making a genuine effort?
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/25 09:58 PM
4

Just a good natured “I sure do!” and continue on. This isn’t something that is wrong with you. I know that doesn’t make it feel any better or make it any easier but try not to let him get you down.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/25 09:51 PM
8

"just talking to him" isn't enough. How did you frame the conversation? What happened? I think another conversation about this would be warranted especially as you are approaching marriage. This shouldn’t be framed as pointing out what a self-important, condescending nag he is. This should rather be aimed at getting to the heart of things in a productive way. You can start the conversation by showing appreciation for how driven he is. Talk about individual and shared goals that you will have as …
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/25 09:06 PM
4

I am going to say some things that may sound wildly controversial. Lets start with what we know. You have OCD, attachment, and insecutity issues -- that lead you to drive a wedge between the two of you. Years ago you stepped out of the marriage yourself. You are now in a low sex/deadbedroom. You want to stay in this marriage, even knowing he has paid for sex workers. The first steps I would advise taking are: 1) Getting back into therapy/Laura Doyle Coaching to manage your insecurities. There ar…
/r/RedPillWives19/08/25 06:50 PM
4

Are you willing to support moving back into an athletics career? He might have fears about job security after his last experience. If his new job pays better he might have concerns about supporting the family moving back to athletics. He might need some reassurance that you are willing to weather the risks with him. You can also encourage him taking active steps towards accomplishing that goal. If there isn’t a realistic future in athletics then maybe he would be interested in volunteering with …
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/25 04:57 PM
5

That’s awesome! Because you still feel lonely you could try to add in another social day or picking up a new hobby.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 01:20 PM
3

That makes sense. Thanks for the clarification.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 01:20 PM
3

Why is his ability to get a new job dependent on what you’re doing? Gaming is fine… sometimes. It might be healthy for you to add in some activities that get you out of the house and seeing real people. Maybe make a goal to meet up with a girl friend once a week or start a hobby that gets you around other ladies once a week. Also make sure you are being physically active and getting a little sunshine each day. I think that will also help the emotional state.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 12:20 PM
5

Is there a projected end date to his work stressors? For example, is he working on a big project and after that things will slow down? Or is this going to be the new normal for him? Definitely see if there are any events he would be excited about. You can also look to fill some of that lonely free time with hobbies, meaningful work, and friends.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 12:09 PM
7

There is no magic number. Some people spend time together everyday and some people have work that takes them away a lot of the time. They try to make the time they have together very high quality. This is going to depend a lot on the emotional needs of each couple and that the time spent together meets those needs. Are there circumstances physically keeping you apart most of the time or is this a lack of conscientious effort to make time together? Or is this purposeful avoidance? Do you and he b…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/25 11:52 AM
3

Hope things get better for you!
/r/RedPillWives31/07/25 12:59 PM
9

There can be such a thing as "too much joking". Think the fat kid who overcompensates for insecurity by becoming the clown. I really don't know if he is coping for some sort of insecurity or avoiding the emotional pain of dealing with whatever is going on in the relationship. It could be that he is telling the truth and he this is just who he is. It is also possible that you are experiencing dissatisfaction and are hyperfixiating on his humor. I can see how it might feel dissmissive if he is con…
/r/RedPillWives31/07/25 12:31 PM
4

There was a repost awhile back about dating wealthy: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/cu9ezKisG1 This post was specifically about professional type high earners. If you’re looking for a basket ball player or entrepreneur there might be some variation in what they are attracted to but you need to figure out what that is. You are 1) going to need to put yourself in a place where rich single men are AND 2) be what they are looking for. I don’t know what you look like but just from reading th…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/25 04:32 PM
7

Do you see this relationship leading to marriage? You’ve been together 3 years already. If after three years of being with a man you aren’t comfortable enough to want sex with him, what makes you think you ever will be? 40% — At this point it should be like 200% dying to be with him!
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/25 06:41 PM
9

By feigning interest do you mean to say that you don’t like the activities but pretend to or that you do enjoy them but feel guilty for participating? If you want him to stop initiating then you are going to have to break up. He’s already proven that he will initiate every time despite your discomfort and you’ve already proven that your boundaries are just loose preferences. Where are you expecting this relationship to go? If you don’t enjoy being sexual with him now what makes you think you wil…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/25 06:15 PM
4

In the context of this relationship, this is a you problem. From your post it doesn’t appear that he has said or done anything to say that you aren’t special. He probably doesn’t feel this way at all. Somewhere in your head you’ve built up this fantasy of being each others first. You are not alone in this, especially if you believe in purity from a religious/cultural standpoint. If you want to be with him then you are going to have to find a way to let this expectation go. He hasn’t done anythin…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/25 05:31 PM
2

Again, this is going to take time. You are going to have to actively look for the good in him. Part of choosing this path is understanding that you may never see him the same and learning to be okay with that outcome too.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/25 03:20 PM
2

Gotcha. Honestly this will probably have the best long term outcomes, esp for the children. Therapy might be helpful. Leaning into faith if you are religious. Spending time in nature. But honestly, it is just going to take time for these feelings to run their course. That is not an easy answer but it is the most truthful one I can give.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/25 03:07 PM
6

This is such a painful position to be in. I would advise to really take your time with this one. All of these emotions are really complex and it is going to take a little time to sort through it all. Right now everything is really raw. After you’ve had a little time to process, you can start to look at what staying or leaving would look like and the consequences of each outcome.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/25 03:01 PM
1

If the only lesson you are meant to take from this one is to honor yourself, your needs, and your desires then I am happy for you. That in itself is a powerful lesson and is enough.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/25 09:36 PM
1

I hope that I don't give the impression that this was just a fling or that your pain is simply the result of some sort of oversensitivity. Not at all. As someone who was a bit of a glutton-for-punishment herself when it came to dating and chasing, I am hoping to help you and other young women in similar positions who might be reading this. I can certainly understand that the feelings that you built up over talking for months were genuine and deep. A painful lesson is that sometimes talking onlin…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/25 08:32 PM
3

I’m really sorry that you are experiencing this. When you’re new to dating it is so easy to become very attached very quickly. If I am reading this right, you had one date where he was very gentlemanly and then after he backed off communications and no more dates after. For whatever reason it sounds like he just didn’t want to continue further with a relationship. Sure, he could have been a lot more assertive in letting you know. A lot of guys won’t be. They don’t want to hurt your feelings and …
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/25 07:17 PM
1

You explained yourself beautifully. Well done! It is so nice to find likeminded women :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 04:24 PM
15

You are most likely right. As harsh as this experience is, it is probably a blessing for you that you aren’t married to someone who has behaved so cowardly and with such callousness. I know that this isn’t much by way of solace right now. This is just going to feel bad for a while. Take care of yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 04:17 PM
21

I'm really sorry that you are going through this. It is impossible for me to say what was going on in his mind based on this post. My first piece of advice would be to immediately unfollow and block him on all social media platforms. You don't need to torture yourself looking at his posts. For future relationships, it sounds like you may have been doing a lot of "wife duties" for him. Its great to want to cook for your man, help him in his business, etc. But those things should only be done on a…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 04:00 PM
2

Great analogy! Getting to know how your partner communicates can definately ease tensions that would otherwise be escalated.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 03:21 PM
19

In dating: Focus on becoming a person who values herself. This means building self-esteem through skill and hobbies, developing virtue, taking care of your physical and emotional states, and knowing what you value. This kind of woman is going to attract healthy masculinity. Not all attraction is mutual. Learn to be ok with that. If you have to chase a man to get his attention then the attraction just might not be there for him. Do your best to move on. Likewise, let men who you aren't interested…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 02:52 PM
7

I’ve talked about this a bit before. In a nutshell, submission in a relationship should always be voluntary. It is a gift you are freely giving him. You are allowed to have your own opinions. One of the times where I think that you really shouldn’t be submissive is if an action would trespass your core values/conscience. My more detailed thoughts in the subject…. https://thefeminineframe.com/submission/
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/25 09:13 AM
4

I’ve heard it said that there are two types of people — those who have to talk to know what they’re feeling and those who have to know what they’re feeling to be able to talk about it. Sounds like he is the second type. This can drive the “talkers” a little bit crazy. IF he is able to get there eventually and you are able to understand that about him and be patient, it can really help ease communication.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 09:48 PM
3

When things have cooled down you can ask if there is something else going on feeding into his reaction. It does sound like he has a lot of trouble understanding and verbalizing his emotions so even if there is something bigger, he might not be aware of what that is. He might take a long time to be able to process that and put it into words so you might have to exercise some patience here.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 09:34 PM
7

In this particular instance I can see how he might have felt disrespected. I would still apologize for that. On an ongoing basis, a few questions to ask yourself… Have you clearly communicated to him that this non-communication communication style doesn’t work for you? Does he put effort into trying to improve? Would he be willing to start putting in effort? If he never changes would you still want to be with him?
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 09:05 PM
3

Could you tell that he felt “iffy” about it before you invited your friend over for the night? While he should have stated clearly and firmly his expectations, if you could sense that he was uncomfortable then that is a place you can take accountability. Apologize and next time you have friends in town offer to put them up in a hotel if you have the funds for it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 08:39 PM
23

The way you talk about yourself is awful. “Damaged goods” On another one of your posts you referred to yourself as a “cum dumpster” The energy you are putting off is more repulsive than your narrow hips. I don’t want to sugar coat things. Infertility and cannabis will be deal breakers for some men. But not all. I can also understand the social implications you are facing from sleeping with the enemy. This does not mean that you are a hopeless case. Get some therapy like yesterday. When (and this…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/25 05:21 PM
6

Congrats on the decision to start changing your life. You know that your weight is a huge factor here (pardon the pun). Keep up on that. The next biggest areas that I would work on is cutting out the phone and building some self-esteem. These are going to hand in hand. To quit the phone you will need to replace that time with something else that is rewarding. Doing these things is going to build your self-esteem. Create some structure through good habits to start your day. Get ready for the day,…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/25 06:13 PM
2

Try to plan fun things for yourself when he goes out. I understand that you still might feel a lot of anxiety surrounding this. Accept that this will be uncomfortable at first but try to push through with your planned activities. If he brings up something, thank him for sharing. Ask for any clarification. Then instead of arguing let him know that you are listening but you need a little time to process. This way you’re not arguing but you’re not shutting down either. Later when you have a better …
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/25 12:31 AM
5

Thank you for the wonderful update! I am so happy for you and the change you were able to enact in your life — and by extension, your family. Good work!
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/25 06:50 PM
4

The halo effect is very well documented. Attractive people will simply be treated better and receive more opportunities. It’s not always malicious when external self improvement is discouraged (although this does happen). Some people discourage external glow-up’s because they genuinely love the person in front of them and are sad they don’t see themselves in the same light. These people can be afraid of losing that person as they change. There can also be real concerns about low self esteem. All…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/25 09:27 AM
12

Jamila Musayeva has quite a few videos on moving elegantly. Here is just one she put up recently: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t45dCQ2H7hc She has quite a few on movement and posture so take a look through her channel. Losing weight is helpful, esp in making lines look longer. As you go on a fitness journey, look into incorporating pilates to elongate muscles and an adult ballet class for graceful movement. And yes, sometimes I do practice as my natural state is not anywhere near elegant or g…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/25 04:22 PM
3

This stuff isn’t years in the past. This is stuff you’ve seen on his phone right now.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/25 02:12 PM
13

Has he ever given you any reason to distrust him? I wouldn’t harp on the subject. You’ve already told him you’re a bit worried and he’s invited you along. If you think you can have fun then you can go (even if it’s not your music type). Otherwise just plan something fun for yourself at home. Get excited for him to leave so you can do girly things you wouldn’t normally with him around! You don’t really want a man that you have to monitor and give permission. And you don’t want to be that kind of …
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/25 02:11 PM
3

If you give him another chance, his past is a very good predictor of your future together. You’re already anxious and second guessing yourself. My suggestion — block him this time. Don’t give him another chance to talk you into doubting your good instincts.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/25 01:55 PM
12

These aren’t “minor” issues. He is unable to be faithful. Your decision to break up was a good one. Time to spend your time and energy finding someone who is ready and able to commit.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/25 01:38 PM
5

Yes, she is already starting to lose respect for him which is vital to the health of a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/25 07:01 PM
43

While the laundry is bothersome, is it really about laundry? What you have here is a leadership issue. He has no further ambitions in his own life after college (lack of leadership in his own life). He struggles to be able to maintain a schedule at home. You are in the masculine role and he is in the feminine and it’s not making either of you happy. Few people are able to make the reversed gender roles work. You guys are not doing it successfully. In order for it to work, he still has to be able…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/25 11:35 AM
42

Is it just him that you are bothered by these small things or does this happen often in relationships for you? If he’s the only one then it might be that you are trying to force attraction that just isn’t there for you. If you often nitpick these sorts of small things then it might be more of a “you” problem. You say that your bedroom life is great. Is there the possibility that you are subconsciously self sabotaging something really great?
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/25 06:18 PM
3

You are going to have to weigh out all the good things about him and see if they make up for the lack of sex life. I’m not saying he could never change but I don’t think it will be healthy for you to keep bending over backwards for him. It may never happen. If you stay, do it with open eyes. If you decide to stay, definitely focus on immersing yourself in hobbies, friendships and self care. Don’t ask for permission to go out. Tell him you are taking a class and that you’ll need the car those nig…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/25 03:39 PM
4

He’s told you where he’s at and I think you might just need to take what he says at face value. He doesn’t want a sexual relationship with you. There are definitely issues he could take responsibility for but he is unwanting and unwilling to do so. Believe him. You have some decisions to make about whether this is acceptable to you or not.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/25 03:27 PM
4

A few thoughts. Has he had his testosterone levels checked? Testosterone drops in men after having a baby. It usually rebounds back up but his may still be low. Are you still working on that baby weight? That could affect his attraction for you and he might not want to be a jerk and bring it up. Do you put effort into your appearance? If you fit the stereotype of the mom who never showers, wears sweatpants and baggy shirts covered in spit-up then you have an easy place to work on. You can’t take…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/25 12:57 PM
2

True. Being able to be sympathetic to men with the current gender politicking going on is going to help her connect with men she might be dating. Especially with so many women who will automatically dismiss a man’s struggles because they’ve been plied with extreme feminist dogma their entire lives.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/25 11:39 PM
-1

I’ll agree with this point. I hope I wasn’t coming across as sounding like we shouldn’t have an awareness of men’s issues. Rather that we shouldn’t let that awareness cause us to go into individual interactions with an assumption of that man’s experience or that we need to coddle him.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/25 11:26 PM
4

Exactly. Not every man is going to have the same issues. If he chooses to open up then being able to be about to listen without judgement is going to be invaluable. Before then, assigning trauma that might not even exist would probably feel a bit emasculating.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/25 11:15 PM
5

Yeah, you definitely don’t need to assign problems to a man that might simply not exist for him. As you get to know a man, he might choose to open up to you and at that point being a sympathetic listener can really help that bond you have with him. Learning male psychology and how to be a better partner will take you farther in securing a relationship than leaning into men’s rights issues. Of course, if this is what fires you up and you feel like you can make a difference then I’m sure many men …
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/25 11:11 PM
23

I can be sympathetic to men’s issues but there are other issues in this world that I have more power to make an impact. I choose to focus my energy where it will be most useful. Recognizing that there are issues that predominately affect men has not impacted how I see men or change how I am attracted to them. Remember that when you are interacting with a man, you are talking to an individual, not some sort of amalgamation of all these issues. You don’t need to automatically feel like he is some …
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/25 09:52 PM
2

The “Madame Chic” books by Jennifer Scott immediately come to mind. She also has a YouTube channel.
/r/RedPillWives15/06/25 07:35 PM
2

Thanks for the recommendation. Putting it on my reading list!
/r/RedPillWives15/06/25 06:35 PM
2

Hope it helps!
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/25 12:53 AM
21

I have an article with some ideas: https://thefeminineframe.com/how-to-make-your-man-more-alpha/ In addition, with two jobs there is probably a lot of stress and he is using video games to cope. You can try to draw him out a bit by starting some sort of small tradition. Something like weekly game night or bowling. This could give him something to look forward to that doesn’t take a lot of planning (ie —added stress) You can encourage him to reconnect with friends and old hobbies. There is also a…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/25 12:44 AM
5

A red pill woman could potentially be an excellent match for a red pill man who wants a wife and family. For it to work, worldviews would have to be shared beyond the realities of sexual strategy. But generally, you are correct. We're a bit like oil and water.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/25 08:08 PM
8

I did not pay up the $5 to read the original article you cited ;) From the snippets it sounds as though Jack Napier's perspective is that Red Pill exists exclusively for men to discuss MALE sexual strategy and that this excludes the sometimes contrary female sexual strategies. I am not offended by this take. I think that men should have their own spaces and am in no hurry to join the TRP and other male associated forums. If, by his perspective, Red Pill should exist only to discuss male strategy…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/25 07:25 PM
2

This 100%.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/25 03:40 PM
3

I'm going to second your recommendation to mix loose and tight. Wearing more mainstream styles but mixing in "cozy grandma" pieces here and there is a great way to retain some personality while still having broad appeal.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/25 03:35 PM
6

I don't want to assign any intentions to this guy. I will advise you, as others have, to be very cautious about pursuing a relationship at this time --- with any man. You just got out of an abusive relationship. You are at a very vulnerable season in life both with the abusive relationship and the new baby on the way. Fragile emotional states do not usually lead to making the most clear decisions and leave you very open to getting back into another bad situation. Take some time to heal and to ge…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/25 03:15 PM
2

You are not alone in falling for these kinds of false markers. I commend your good sense in recognizing the situation for what it is and for having the courage to end things. I made a post a few months ago on vetting that you and others might find helpful when searching for a man: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1j644e1/a_vetting_guide/
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/25 11:49 PM
1

You have been the victim of a horrible and traumitizing situation. It is unfortunate that you have to suffer the physical and psycological damage of the assault. The effects of the assualt are even starting to touch your boyfriend. His frustration, although not kind and certainly not within your control, does indicate a desire to be close and intimate with you. It does sound, from your description, like you were very hasty and emotional in declaring an immediate breakup. This may be something th…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/25 01:32 PM
1

Congrats on your incredible journey!
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/25 12:49 PM
2

His void is internal. Let’s play pretend for a moment. Say you lost all the weight he wants you to and you found the perfect magical words and actions that will make him feel validated. He would still find himself turning to porn because he has not taken accountability to work on himself. Whatever external validation he receives is temporary and the void remains. You cannot fix him. You cannot make him love himself. He is going to have to be the one to figure this out and it may never happen. Th…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/25 01:06 PM
1

Do you mind if I try to help you reframe some of your thoughts? Lots of times when people behave the way your husband does, it is not because they dislike you but that they are deeply dissatisfied with themselves. They are projecting and putting the accountability into someone else. I think it will be helpful for you to understand this. Instead of thinking that there is something inherently wrong or unlovable about yourself and if you just make XYZ changes then he’ll accept you……understand that …
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/25 12:49 PM
21

You're not in a place that you are willing to uphold boundaries so consider setting them aside for the moment. I would also set aside for the moment your desire to fix your sex life. Time to focus on yourself! You are married and I'm not saying to reject sex, but think of it as your own version of nun mode. Time for you to focus on what is going to make you an overall happier, more vibrant woman. This will honestly probably include those things like "lose weight" and "communicate better". If you…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/25 06:46 PM
14

If you want to be in this relationship then understand that a certain level of sobriety will come with it. For you to not feel resentment this is also something that he would need to make a serious commitment to. If this is not something that you can imagine going your life without, except occasionaly at restaurants and such where things can be more easily moderated, then it might be time to seek out a more compatible partner.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/25 12:09 AM
4

Here we have a man who for whatever reason frequently sought out sex workers and then subsequently felt shame and downplayed the extent of his involvement to his partner. I don't disagree that he very may well have a more fullfilling sexual relationship with his partner and he may very well not be seeing sex workers now. What I would urge OP to be cautious of is when they are experiencing real life stressors together or when the relationship goes stale with the everyday mundane, he may find it e…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/25 11:58 PM
3

You're welcome. Wishing you the best no matter which way things go!
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/25 11:49 PM
7

I think that it would be healthy not to "pull back" but rather to put some more energy into yourself. Plan some time with friends, make sure you aren't abandoning all of your hobbies to spend time with him. It's ok that you want this to work with him but remember that you still have a life of your own that does not revolve around him -- live it! As far as being open about it, I personally would wait. You just showed your heart and told him that you wanted to be in a relationship. If you keep bri…
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/25 11:44 PM
12

Sometimes you will get hurt but you also heal. Don't become paralyzed for fear of pain. You don't owe him exclusivity and you are welcome to keep dating but it kind of sounds like you only want to start dating as some sort of retalitory reaction. I wouldn' t do that. Really, its only two more months so I don't think you need to force yourself to try to date other people if you aren't feeling it. The important thing is, if in two months he isn't thrilled to be committed then I would advise to sta…
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/25 11:32 PM
15

While you may not love that he isn't ready to be exclusive, he has told you this from the beginning. If you really see a future with him, give him his 6 months and then have the talk. If he isn't ready to enthusiastically say "YES" to you at that time, then you should make some decisions. Don't panic -- 2 more months is not very long but don't wait forever for him either. Be ready to move on if he isn't sure of you.
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/25 11:08 PM
10

You know how he gets sexual release and you know that he is capable of lying to you. This isn’t a “time will tell” situation. This is a “does he offer enough other benefit that I am willing to overlook his probable indiscretions.” You are already insecure about this so I think you know…
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/25 09:05 PM
21

Is it possible that more that he has your companionship he has completely changed his behavior and nothing like this will ever happen again. But it’s not likely. Right now you are relatively new in the relationship and are each other’s escape from real life. Are you willing to accept that one day in the future when life gets a little more complicated, he may turn back to these old habits? After a few years of marriage, shared bills, and a few children in the mix it would be very easy for him to …
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/25 08:57 PM
1

You're welcome. You have a big heart and you are trying. You are going to find someone :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/25 06:26 PM
2

True, often success takes time and consistent effort.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/25 04:25 PM
3

Women fall in love with "donkeys" all the time, even on this sub, and then try to change him into your clydesdale. I've seen enough posts with women asking if they should stay with their jobless, addicted, abusive boyfriend or if we think that she can change him into Prince Charming by being more supportive and submissive. I do agree that a lot more men could thrive in a healthy relationship. I love that we teach healthy dynamics here. How everyone will define thriving will be different. A lot o…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/25 03:56 PM
2

Looks like you've stirred up a little controversy with this one! I actually see where you are coming from. It would be very rare that I ask my husband for any help with chores. An exception might be if we have guests coming in or something and its all hands on deck. He does have his own "chores" like yardwork and stuff and if he can see that I am overwhelmed he does help with regular housework. But....to me, I would much rather him spend his time and energy on activities that are going contribut…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/25 02:57 PM
1

Women are attracted to a variety of traits in men. These can be things like success, leadership, looks, excitement, etc. Women will weigh these factors differently based upon life stages and personal preference. Contextually a 35 year old bagger could be attractive. Does he own the store? That man is going to have some more options. Maybe he is building himself up from addiction or mental health issues. While commendable, this guy would be risky to a lot of women but could be an attractive match…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/25 08:06 PM
1

If you enjoy cooking together then see if he is interested in meal prepping on the weekends. If he can’t live without his pasta he can appropriately portion it out for the week and add a good amount of protein mixed on the side. This can help him feel prepared and confident for the week. Go ahead and have a conversation. Normally in RPW when it’s time for actual verbal communication we advise to focus on how you are feeling rather than what he is doing. This conversation is kind of going to be t…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/25 11:47 AM
1

You could build tension talking about anything. If there is chemistry there’s chemistry. That said, you could potentially destroy tension by how you are talking. This would be things like oversharing (giving your life story/talking about exes/using them as a therapist), not giving the other person a chance to talk, or not engaging in the conversation/only giving one word answers.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/25 08:48 PM
3

If you are insecure then you are going to be extra sensitive about these types of comments so I would continue working on building confidence in the value you bring. Look into studies on the benefits of children having a parent at home, start following some mom influencers that inspire you. Take care of yourself and continue to find joy in homemaking (like decorating ;) It sounds like he is lacking a little confidence as well. If he does it again, maybe the real conversation that you need to hav…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 11:15 PM
4

I can understand the frustration with mixed signals! If he only talks like this around his parents then he is probably trying to showcase you in a way that is favorable to them. You say that you have already brought this up to him and he has clarified already that you are actually on the same page. Is there any part of you that feels insecure about becoming a SAHM and the value of your contributions?
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 10:38 PM
4

First off, does he even want to lose weight? And I mean really want it himself or is it more that he feels your dissappointment in him? Those are two different things and he needs to want this for himself. You are going to have a hard time helping him if this isn't something that he is willing to put the work on his own. Start by encouraging him in the activities that he already loves to do. Do this because you love to see him do things that make him feel happy, not as a passive aggressive gestu…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 10:17 PM
5

NNMNG is recommended by Married Red Pill but it is not exclusively used by Red Pill people. Similar to many of the self-help books that are recommended here. I think that the book is very helpful for men who have trouble upholding boundaries and asserting desires. Take a deeper look at this man's character. I am sure that being a coach, to attract new clients, much of his opinions are going to be on display. Pay attention to what he is teaching others. Who is he following and what do they teach?…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 01:29 PM
8

How he comes to you is going to tell you a lot. If he is still trying to project the blame onto you then that indicates a massive lack of accountability on his part. Someone who cannot recognize their mistakes and take accountability is not going to be a good leader. If he comes back deeply apologetic and it doesn't happen again then you can decide from there. It should be noted that alcohol was involved. If he drinks often then this behavior is likely to repeat.
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 01:19 PM
2

Don't put off your life until you reach some far off parameters. I am glad that you have sought therapy. If it hasn't improved your situation then time to find a different therapist. Keep doing this. As much as I do advocate for you to continue therapy, you're kind of stuck in your own head right now, too much time looking inwards. There is a time and a place to look internally but it needs to be contained otherwise you will begin to spiral. Stop doomsdaying your current relationship or it will …
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 01:09 PM
1

I am so sorry that this happened to you. As others have said, this was wrong of him. What I will say that is a little different is don't feel like you have to make a decision today. Divorcing or staying are both valid options. I know that you feel in a rush because you are nearing 30 but taking 6 months to sort through your feelings is not going to make you undesirable on the dating market. Take the time that you need to process this shock, to weigh your values against your desires. You may find…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 12:43 PM
9

It sounds like he was drunk and uninformed. This is an activity that needs to be eased into. It sounds like you were firm but respectful in your refusal. You didn't do anything wrong. He is obviously dissapointed and his ego is a little bruised but his request is one that needed more upfront planning and that's on him. At the end of the day his feelings are his responsibility. It hasn't even been a full 24hrs yet. Give it a little time and see what he does. If this is an activity that you are in…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/25 09:22 PM
3

I think that some people might view your preference as a kink because it lies outside the current acceptable social norms. Lots of women like men who are at least a little bit older than them. Older men are often more established financially, are more likely to be ready for commitment and to start a family, and have more life experience for leading in a relationship. This is all very attractive and I would say that you are not at all unusual in that regard. Where it might be a little out of the …
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/25 05:06 PM
26

A few things come to mind... You are young still. It is not unnatural for young women who aren't yet actively seeking marriage and children to prioritize things like looks or fun over money. Many women, once they are closer to ready for those big steps will naturally start prioritizing the ability to support a family. I would also say that it is true that the more established a woman becomes she would want someone closer to her level. A 35 year old guy who is still working bagging groceries is n…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/25 04:50 PM
3

Good luck! Wishing you the best!
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 08:21 PM
11

I must have mistakenly inferred that based on performing to be in a transactional relationship. Apologies. Unsolicited advice -- don't put yourself in a box if you don't want to be there. Work on your mental illnesses now (great if you already are!) You will attract better quality men and it will give you more options in the future for what you want to do. Be a stay at home mom because you want to be, because you believe it will produce the best outcomes for your children. Don't do it because yo…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 07:44 PM
23

I think that you will find that the attitudes between Red Pill Men and Red Pill Women are very different. Many rp men are coming out of bad relationships/divorces or are tired of the pervasive attitude that masculinity is toxic. These guys are going to be cautious about forming relationships and many of them are very bitter towards women. While they are attracted to women and want sex with them, many of them aren't searching for any meaningful relationship. RP women are interested in forming hea…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 07:34 PM
8

It sounds like you both have a bit of maturing to do. You would not be out of bounds to end it here and now. If (and this is a big if) this is the only bad behavior, I could see staying, esp since you contributed to the argument. That said, as a leader he should not be so reactive to you and his behavior was absolutely inappropriate. I don’t know how long your engagement is but I would not marry this man next week. If you decide to try to work on things, I think it would be appropriate to either…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 03:03 PM
6

Pink is not inherently infantile. If you are pairing it with lots of frills and bows it can certainly go into Lolita style. I think you could do a refined baby pink coat and pair it with classic neutrals for a more elegant take. You could also look into southern preppy style for a very fun take on bold colors. You probably don’t have to change who you are. Just a little tweaking and refining ;)
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 02:44 PM
6

This is going to be flattering, somewhat modest (not frumpy) clothing. Feminine things like dresses and skirts but also feminine pants. Look at the women around you who are successful at getting lots of first dates. Look at Christian influencers with your body type for inspiration.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 02:12 PM
15

There is a wide range within “older conservative”. If the type of men you are going for are tattooed vets who go to gun shows and ride motorcycles you might be dressing somewhat trendier with more form fitting clothing. If it’s older business men who like to play golf on the weekends you might be dressing more preppy conservative. Think about where you are meeting these men and tailor yourself accordingly.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/25 01:32 PM
2

Just read your post. Great stuff! Hope things are still going well for you in the dating arena.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/25 12:06 AM
6

It’s completely normal to be nervous about new things. The reason I think there might be more to work through is because she mentions it. But you could be right and the reassurance she receives here could be all she needs to turn into a “Yes!” girl. Glad you were able to get past those jitters and fears!
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/25 11:16 PM
7

Let him know early that you are dating for marriage. Ideally you would know before you become officially committed that you are both on the same page with the desire to marry and on a similar timeline. If he keeps trying to put you off then either he is not ready for commitment or you aren’t the one. Either way, he’s not the one for you.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/25 10:48 PM
2

I don’t think that all high value men cheat but that women are more likely to stay with a cheating high value man than a mediocre man that cheats. If you’re struggling to feed your kids and your man is out spending his time and resources on some other woman then that’s a huge problem, not only emotionally, but also for the security of your family. If your man is very wealthy and provides not only for needs but also for a lot of wants, your children are happy and secure, then there is a lot less …
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/25 08:36 PM
12

Gotcha. Assuming that your boyfriend treats you well then your discomfort probably is stemming from insecurities you have due to your past. I would definitely work on those so that you can both more fully enjoy intimacy.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/25 08:12 PM
39

Many people in committed relationships enjoy this activity. As to if this changes how men feel about you… If a woman gives out sexually before commitment some men will view it as trashy (even if he benefitted and enjoyed it). Within a committed relationship where there is already love and respect, most men view it as “hot” and really enjoy adding it to the mix. You say that you have been in a relationship for 8 months. If you’ve already had regular intercourse he probably isn’t going to bolt aft…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/25 06:39 PM
3

Good luck! It would be fun if you do a field report if you get any results. Let the other ladies if any of the tips you get work!
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/25 06:00 PM
5

That is a really great start! If all you are saying is “hello” and nothing else I would recommend building upon that just a little. Pay him a genuine compliment followed by a “see you next time”
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/25 05:46 PM
3

Be brave and go out of your way to approach men you are interested in. This doesn’t mean that you have to over the top flirt or ask them on a date. Just create an opening. “Hey, would you be interested in studying for the upcoming exam?” “I see that band sticker on your laptop. I love them!” “That sweater is a great color on you.” After your conversation, even if brief, say something like “See you next week” or “It was really nice to meet you. I hope to see you again.” This lets him know you are…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/25 05:25 PM
3

All children start out egotistical, unable to see past their own desires and emotions. If it helps you to process this, think of people like this as children who were never able to achieve normal emotional development. The childlike rage combined with the actual capacity to do harm is a dangerous combination. You may honestly never fully understand but I hope that one day you will be able to let it go and find peace.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 03:23 PM
1

The behavior you're describing is indicative of a complete lack of empathy and the desire to hurt others. These traits (which would make it very easy to cheat without remorse) are perhaps a greater issue than the cheating itself in my opinion. These traits are inline with the dark triad -- Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and narcissism. (These people exist on a scale too and I wouldn't be able to qualify anyone as having a full on diagnosis.) I don't think anyone entirely understands what makes t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 02:49 PM
6

Having a balanced view on relationships in regards to the romantic and the practical is really advantageous, especially in the vetting stages. Choosing someone who you have sexual chemistry, love, and emotional compatibility but who also has enough drive to provide the basic needs for a family. In the event of infidelity and whether to allow nonmonogamy however, those who have a balanced viewpoint are going to have a much harder time than those who skew strongly in one direction. You are correct…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 02:16 PM
8

Most people are going to be somewhere in the middle of the dial, perhaps leaning more one way or the other. That would make this a really agonizing decision for them. For those who are at either extreme (as in your example, extremely pragmatic) the decision to stay or go is easy. There are of course those who might marry a celebrity who are extrodinarily romantic and go into it feeling like a fairy tale princess without realizing that her prince doesn't value fidelity the same way she does. She …
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 01:20 PM
59

In marriage there is the joining of the romantic and the practical. Ideally there is love and attraction but also financial and emotional stability for raising children. Some women are dialed in more towards the romantic. All you need is love. Others are dialed more pragmatically and value the financial stability more. The more “romantically dialed” woman would feel completely disrespected and betrayed whilst the more “pragmatically dialed” woman might not even care. Neither one of these ways of…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/25 06:39 AM
3

Well, that would be a big one. She says that he goes off a lot to visit friends and family and also there she has been the one planning dates. To be clear, I think his interest was sincere. I don’t think he saw her as a booty call or anything. More that for her, this is her first love. She is feeling things very deeply. She probably has more of a vision of them becoming a “we” with him pulling her more into his life. To him, he likes her. He sent pictures and kept in touch on his most recent tri…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 09:50 PM
1

He sounds like a very healthy green flag :) I love that you are settling into your "Queen" role.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 08:42 PM
2

Wonderful advice. Thank you for sharing. I am so glad that you were able to find someone who treats you right!
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 08:32 PM
3

Highly recommend this post for you: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/sc0f8l/incremental_reciprocation_how_to_minimize_risk/
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 07:11 PM
6

If you haven't already, apologize. You made an assumption and then punished him for not meeting your unstated expectations. Be prepared that you might have blown this one. It already sounds as though he is moving on. In your future, look for someone who has similar needs for companionship. It sounds like you were a lot more into him than he was into you. Find someone who wants you like you want them. Next time be clear with your communication. No playing games hoping he will do what you want. In…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/25 06:41 PM
1

Spot on.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 10:47 PM
2

You are very kind. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 06:20 PM
3

Thank you for sharing your experience, even if it was a painful one. I am so happy to hear that you have found someone who treats you kindly! I wish you a beautiful future!
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 05:40 PM
3

Cancel culture is huge and you are probably right they are twisting the original meaning of the word to weaponize it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 02:20 PM
6

Oh, I definitely see this happening and think it’s very unfortunate. Gender dynamics today are very concerning currently. I don’t envy those of you having to navigate it — men and women included. I just didn’t know they were using the term differently.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 01:33 PM
6

My understanding of the term has always been in line with the you think of things.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 01:26 PM
9

I would be really interested to see with your informal survey, if there is a generational difference in the definition of a “girls girl”. I am mid-millennial btw.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 01:25 PM
38

I always thought a “girls girl” was a woman/girl who enjoys girly things, enjoys the friendship of other women, and sincerely cares about their fellow women. In this regard I consider myself a girls girl. Because I am a girls girl, I really try to look out for other women and to help them in their relationships and family life. It isn’t girl’s against boys. But maybe this is a generational thing. Perhaps the young ladies are using the term differently today.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/25 01:15 PM
12

I can identify two problems you are having. 1) signaling interest. This is the initiation. 2) Friendzoning yourself. You indicate that even when you are flirty things quickly go to friendly. To signal interest the easiest thing to do is to initiate eye contact. Obviously, it’s not a staring contest. Unbroken eye contact or starting too long would be creepy. But catch his eye and look for a second or two longer than you normally would. Then look down, like you’re embarrassed you got caught. Then …
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/25 12:19 PM
5

Love it. Older men might be more ready to commit. Ladies should definitely consider their own maturity levels and how big of an age gap would be compatible.
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/25 05:22 AM
3

You’re welcome! Hope it’s useful to someone out there!
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/25 03:13 AM
8

Vetting is always super important but for OPs preferences she needs to be extra vigilant. Take heed OP. All that other stuff about dressing better is great but you’ll be doing yourself a disfavor if you attach yourself to a bad apple.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/25 01:36 PM
5

A little confidence will do wonders for you and how others perceive you. Best of luck!
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/25 01:28 AM
17

The first thing I would work on is building your confidence. You don't need big boobs or a big butt to attract a conservative man. Lots of conservative, masculine men love a slender gal. Ursula in Spiderman has a great body and if she walked with confidence and better posture no one would have seen her as an awkward geek. Having a little bit of a shy, blushing demeanor isn't a bad thing either. Take the risk and make eye contact with men you find attractive. Say hello, even if it means stumbling…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 11:20 PM
4

Go Steve Harvey! I hope that your "lightbulb" moment has paid off for you!
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 06:57 PM
43

The first thing that stands out to me: >I often get the attention of men, but it's felons who have "turned their lives around", men in desparate financial positions, and men who want to "deflower a virginal woman". Followed by... >I spend my weekends at homeless shelters and volunteering at drug rehab centers. I have a heart for people who need help. You have to put yourself in front of the men that you want to be with. Right now, although it is not your intention, you are putting yourself in fr…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 06:47 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 07:40 AM
56

On this forum we don't shy away from the fact that healthy people are objectively more attractive. You have taken drastic steps to take accountabilty for your health. Well done! In the process not only become more attractive but you have also become kinder, more confident and more fun. Lots of people have told you this. You know this on a logical level. But you are still struggling with this on the emotional level. In a very real way, it is completely understandable to struggle with the reality …
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 06:27 AM
1

Thank you. That is very kind. I am glad to have written something you found useful. Best wishes to you.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/25 02:22 PM
12

Seek a free consultation from a lawyer. I know you aren’t married but you do have a child together. You may be considered common law and there could be complications surrounding taking your child out of state, esp if he is on the birth certificate. If you cannot get to a lawyer search for legal aid phone lines in your state. I know you don’t want to take your child away from their father but it may be your best option temporarily. Can you get in touch with your family? Would they be willing to p…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/25 12:18 PM
3

I would just include it all. You don’t want anyone to find out later and feel like you lied to them.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/25 05:10 PM
4

I might phrase it something like "I've had two long term relationships and a couple of casual partners." The answer might change depending on culture. If you are in a super liberal area then you might be able to get away with excluding some of those handjobs. If you are dating very conservative men then everything would count and should be included. This is a question that I would be very curious to hear answers from some of the men who have a good posting history here.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/25 05:07 PM
4

Can we get a round of applause! This is a point that I like to harp on. We have standards for politeness and courtesy with other people but it’s accepted that those standards just get thrown out the window when you’re in a relationship. We should be especially kind and generous to our spouses! This isn’t to say you can never be open, vulnerable, angry, or any other emotion. You can but you can still be respectful when expressing that.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 12:53 PM
5

Crushes are normal. There is such thing as developing an unhealthy level of attachment but nothing in your post is indicative of that. It is also true that as you get older you experience crushes a little less powerfully. Probably some combination of hormones, experience, and self assuredness that allows many women to become a little more pragmatic as they age. A word of caution — work place relationships have a tendency to become messy. If this is some low level job that you don’t plan to make …
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/25 09:56 AM
4

I have a website where I share my thoughts on topics here and there. https://thefeminineframe.com/
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 12:39 AM
1

Hope all goes well. Wishing you the best.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/25 07:56 PM
3

My apologies. I misread that. I think the point stands. An addiction can be habitual but it is also a form of coping mechanism. Take that away and he has to find some way to cope. In the case of his alcoholism he replaced it with faith. Best of luck in your studies.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/25 07:45 PM
3

Love this! Thank you for sharing your positive experience. Hearing this will give a lot of women hope and inspiration.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/25 07:41 PM
16

First things first, it is very important that you understand this is not about some failure on your part. His porn use has nothing to do with you. I would broach the topic when you are both somewhat relaxed. Something along the lines of: “You told me that you watched porn before and I thought that I was ok with it. Seeing it on your phone made me realize that it is a problem for me. Would you be willing to stop?” Be prepared for all sorts of reactions from being ultra defensive to begging for yo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/25 05:46 PM
5

I see a couple of paths you can take because it doesn’t sound like you’re ready to pull the trigger on any boundaries. You can accept the relationship as it is. He has an addiction that he may never overcome. In this scenario you decide that you are getting enough value from him otherwise to continue forward. This is a moving the relationship to one of more practicality with less emphasis on the romantic. Of course if things change you would be over the moon but accepting that they may stay the …
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/25 04:03 PM
4

For sure. There are trader-offs and sacrifices that have to be made in the pursuit of this career. OP may have to wait to be able to stay home. This means she could be older and have less children. She could start a family and be a working mom for the first couple of years. Alternatively, after her training, she could try to position herself in a city with a lot of high earners. These men might be ready to start a family and be willing to pay off the debt (I’ve seen it happen). She would have to…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/25 02:42 PM
4

I am going to be brutally honest. Your career path and where you are on that path might be a deterrent to men who are serious about relationships. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with your career path. It is admirable that you have the intelligence and dedication to pursue becoming a doctor. What I mean is that as soon as a serious candidate sees that you will be moving soon for residency and then again after that once you become a doctor he might no longer see a future with you. You want so…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/25 01:33 PM
4

I would start by making a list of what you need from a husband. Do not marry this man until he meets this list of needs (which might well be never). You can count on two hands and two feet the number of times you have been intimate in the past 6 years.. That might be a good starting place. You cannot make him seek help. You can make a boundary to say that you will not stay with someone does not seek appropriate help for serious issues. You can also set a boundary for yourself (you don’t even hav…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/25 01:01 PM
1

I am honored that something I wrote was of help to you. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/25 05:47 PM
8

This is so hard because this is not really about you being submissive or about if you just say things just the right way. It is more about his own internal conflicts and how is projecting that onto you. In situations like this you just want to shake them and make them understand. But the reality is, is that alot of this he is going to have to realize and come to terms with on his on and in his own time. I've heard it said that inside every man there is a king and there is a fool. Talk to the kin…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/25 05:46 PM
16

Hi there. Right now you are in a very transitional period. You are learning to be submissive but he is also still learning to be a leader. Even if he was a good leader before he is now having to relearn for this new period in your lives. Being submissive does not mean that you can never say no or that you just have to accept the current situation. It also doesn't mean that you can never express yourself. Because you are both very much still learning I think this warrants an actual conversation. …
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/25 03:33 PM
3

This is fabulous advice..
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/25 08:35 PM
6

There isn’t a lot of detail here for me to say what is really going on or to try to make a guess about what is going on inside his head. You could really be dropping the ball or this all could be a massive projection on his part or some combination. That being said, you can only work on what is within your control. If you can afford help cooking and cleaning, pay for it! Otherwise look into meal prepping, slow cooker meals, and instant pot dinners. Also look into Fly Lady cleaning. Do what you c…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/25 07:01 PM
1

That would make a lot of sense.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/25 11:07 PM
2

That certainly would be a red flag!
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/25 06:39 PM
3

Thanks for sharing. So a lot of the same green/red flags as for the civilian population. The green card marriage is an interesting one. For the uninitiated (me), what are blue falcon activities?
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/25 06:06 PM
1

Thanks for the insight. Out of curiosity for any ladies here who might be pursuing relationships with military men … How does the military support the culture of fast marriages and what support systems are in place for military spouses? Are there any military specific green/red flags that women should look out for when dating a military man?
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/25 05:49 PM
3

Exactly! While these men do look for women they are attracted to, the decision to marry her up usually has more to do with his readiness than the fact that she is more attractive than his last date.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/25 11:33 AM
36

Lots of reasons. Men with mental illnesses or trauma might dive into marriage quickly based on an initial high or latching on quickly to anyone who shows affection. He could be a more controlling and insecure type who is trying to lock you down quickly. Very young people often fall in love very quickly without considering the practical implications of marriage or how they might change asa person in the future. It is not uncommon for conservative religious people to become engaged rather quickly.…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/25 03:22 AM
10

I wrote a two-part post on the topic that you might find useful to your situation. https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1fkjty7/pornography_and_your_marriage_part_1/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1flao4b/pornography_and_your_marriage_part_2/
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/24 12:15 PM
22

Of course he has tapered off. He was showing a lot of interest that you weren’t reciprocating. He is trying to be respectful of what he believes are your feelings. If you want to date him you are going to have to shed some of this self consciousness and take the risk.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/24 07:35 PM
14

If you like him you better make a move! He’s been texting and even taken you on a date. If you like him reciprocate and hope he hasn’t moved on already.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/24 07:31 PM
10

To answer your questions regarding how a man can stay satisfied in a long term relationship — emotional. In a long term relationship, presumably the man cares about his partner. He wants to make her happy. They share experiences together. He gets to know a woman in a deep level and see all the daily highs and lows. They share and work towards a vision together. All this combined with sexual intimacy is a powerful glue that can keep a man faithful. And couples work together to keep things spicy ;…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/24 04:21 PM
13

It sounds like resentment might be going both ways. He moved somewhere he doesn’t like to make you happy. He tries to fulfill your requests and to-do lists. Still you are negative and complain constantly. On top of all this you emasculate him by telling him how displeased you are by his lack of manly prowess… I know that this may seem harsh and I doubt that he is perfect. But I do think you could benefit from seeing the situation from his perspective. If you want to be attractive to him then sto…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/24 05:05 PM
2

Those expectations you have for the future might also be included in things to express ;)
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/24 09:10 PM
4

Right now he feels happy and secure in his relationship with you (Yay!) so he might not feel a need to lead a conversation about your future. It is perfectly acceptable in your role as a feminine woman to bring your desires to him. You love him and you would love to be married to him. It would make you feel so safe and secure to know how he envisions your future together. You mention that he is usually a good leader about smaller things. You also have expressed disappointment that he is not alwa…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/24 05:57 PM
1

I haven’t read any of these books but here is a post with book recommendations on holding boundaries https://www.reddit.com/r/BettermentBookClub/s/VGGg2cBEMB
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 05:58 PM
3

Good luck with this advice and all of the other great advice you have received on this post!
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 04:03 PM
3

This whole post is gold! Thank you for opening up and sharing your experience and your invaluable insights.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 03:59 PM
9

Hi there. It sounds like you’ve got a good start with recognizing that you cannot change him and taking control of your own toxic reactions. You might be perfectly correct in your assessment of his family situation but he loves them and it’s not a battle that you will win. Even if you do manage to break him away he would resent you for it. What you can do regarding his family: Establish specifically in what ways you are willing to interact with them. Example — you might be willing to visit once …
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 03:14 PM
5

Hi, I’m glad that something in my comment resonated. I have been thinking further about your situation and what you can do to help your husband IF stress does turn out to be a major contributing factor. You can’t take away the sting of disappointment from not getting into the program or wave a wand and make debt go away. You can’t make him go to therapy, take testosterone, or drag him out of depression. This does not mean that you have to be powerless in assisting him. I think staying on your pa…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/24 09:50 AM
12

This is always a very hard situation to be in. From what you have written this sounds like a stress problem. The lowered sex is just a symptom. Long years studying, a sense of failure, and looming student loan debts could easily become overwhelmingly stressful. You have identified a lot of ways that you may have been contributing to the situation so that is good. I would continue to try to work on staying on your paper, making sure that you are taking care of yourself. Look for opportunities to …
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/24 12:52 PM
4

Good point. Presumably a balanced and experienced man would be able to tell the difference between a walking red flag and a flirtatious encounter.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 11:44 PM
8

While obviously a psychopath has malicious intent, none of these tactics are inherently bad. Good communication and listening is a skill most of us could benefit from. Relating to someone and opening up is also a form of good communication and not inherently manipulative. Asking for help lifting something or asking to borrow something can be flirtatious and give a man the courage to pursue where he may otherwise have been timid. Breaking the touch barrier can also be fun and if done well make th…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 11:38 PM
3

On further reflection, because the point of this post is to use our knowledge of psychopaths to up our girl game, I’d like to add a few additional thoughts. We first see that our “Alice” is a great listener. Active listening and communication skills can be improved. This might be a good time to review “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Alice also quickly establishes herself as a victim to be saved by sharing some vulnerable piece of information. If he shares something with you during the…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 11:02 PM
7

I think I know “Alice”. Seriously though, the part about telling a victim story to form quick attachments is spot on.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/24 02:34 PM
2

Thanks for the great add in! I think that this is a lot of the value of the support groups. Being able to build a community of supportive men. Of course, community does not have to be limited to addiction groups. if he has other close friends or maybe men from church or the gym who support him in his goals, then that is invaluable.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/24 01:24 PM
17

I think this post is really important to understand. A lot of times we like to use blanket generalizations for what men want. Sometimes this is helpful. The majority of men will want a woman who is loyal, respectful, supportive, attractive to him, etc. these are things that can be broadly applied. But I’ve heard a lot of red pill material that tells women it doesn’t matter how much money they make or what they do. In some circles this may be true but in others it really does make a difference…la…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 04:39 PM
5

We would love to see you around here, so please continue to read and all questions. As you become emotionally ready, you will be able to swallow bits of information that are helpful to you.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 02:58 PM
4

I understand. You can still research other ways to improve mental health as you progress on your personal journey.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 02:50 PM
24

First and foremost, get off TRP. This space is not designed for you and will only serve to harm your fragile sense of self. Focus on building your self worth and confidence. This might include things like therapy, taking care of your health, learning a skill or taking courses, engaging in hobbies, and building your social circle. Please consider that now might not be the right time to “swallow the pill”. Take the time to get to a healthy place first.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 02:44 PM
3

For ladies who frequently decline sex, by all means clean up your side of the street and make more efforts in the bedroom. But this does not negate his responsibility in the situation. He is still seeking out inappropriate outlets and that is on him.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 01:16 PM
3

As you say, some husbands are more chronic users and this can have real consequences on intimacy in a relationship. Other women have a strong moral opposition to porn and would not be comfortable with even casual use. I am really happy to hear that you have struck a good balance within your own relationship!
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 07:51 AM
2

These are very important things for women to understand on their end of the relationship to break codependent cycles. All resources for for helping men with their recovery are welcome. Thank you for the suggestion!
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/24 05:52 AM
5

Exactly. It’s not always easy but we have the ability to override some of these primal instincts and to find more constructive ways to meet needs. I will have to look into the Easy Peasy Method you linked to. It looks interesting and like it could be a helpful recommendation. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 10:56 PM
2

It’s a hard situation all the way around. I have a lot of respect for men who are working hard to overcome an addiction. U/FastLifePineapple linked to some resources. Part 2 of this post will also include a few resources for any men who are reading this.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 10:52 PM
4

Thank you for your perspective. If I understand your comment correctly, men have a biological need to ejaculate and empty the sac, so to speak. It can be physically uncomfortable if this relief does not occur. My thought is, if a man is regularly using porn to feel this relief, he is still creating the same habit forming dopamine loop. This habit will not necessarily go away because he now has a partner to have sex with.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 04:19 PM
12

It is heartening to hear that more awareness is being brought to the negative consequences of porn and that more men are making efforts to abstain.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 03:53 PM
3

Yes, it is importance to understand that his addictions cannot be stopped or controlled by you. Your boundaries won’t change him but they might save you. While this post is directed towards married ladies, I think it showcases to women in the dating phase how serious the implication of pornography use can be and how important it is to vet for this.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 03:49 PM
2

Absolutely. When dating pornography use should be discussed as well as your boundaries surrounding it. Ladies, you should also be aware that although he might be sincere in the moment when he says that he will stop for you, he is very likely to slip up later. Be brutally honest with yourself if this is something that you can accept.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 02:53 PM
2

That is so sweet that he knew he could depend on you. Whoever you end up with is going to be one lucky man!
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 12:49 PM
1

So true! You can waste your marrage away trying to decide who is right and who is wrong or you can take action!
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 12:48 PM
2

Good balanced is best! I love how this post clearly outlines the green and red flags to make it very easy to see what traits to develop and what traits to improve.
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 12:46 PM
16

She hung two perfectly ironed shirts at his door and left a nice, neat pile of matched and folded socks on his chair. The care and love were obvious. Such a small thing spoke of joy she took in our presence there with her. She did something he was perfectly capable of doing himself, just because she wanted to. This right here. In marriage it’s ok to do things for your spouse just because you love them. Of course he is capable of doing his own laundry and of course you don’t have to. You do it be…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 02:56 PM
4

Good luck! And remember this is practice. Try to push past any awkward encounters and don’t let them stop you. You will get better at this is you put the work in. Now go get ‘em!
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 12:47 PM
9

On an emotional level there are a few tweaks you can make. Find a new therapist that you connect with better. Get off trp, as a girl with self esteem issues you aren’t doing yourself any favors by lurking there. Identify features that you do like about your face and focus on those. On a practical level, girl, you need practice! You might see guys at church and you might talk to guys on discord but you really aren’t putting yourself out there. All the therapy in the world won’t give you the exper…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/24 07:56 AM
6

He has actually used the word submissive and to him I think that means being respectful and trusting him to forge his own path. I don’t think he would describe himself as dominant, but as the leader or captain. I know that that is not how most people view the word “submission” and so “supportive” might be a better word to describe it to others.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 08:30 PM
6

Yes, my husband knows. We were both raised conservatively so overall it is a really natural dynamic for us. He does appreciate that I am submissive. It makes him feel respected and supported while allowing him the space and freedom to grow. Being RP has opened the door to some fun conversations between us.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 08:09 PM
3

Would love to see that!
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 04:59 PM
3

Whenever I’ve seen guys say they were “going for the glory hole”, I always thought they were referring to anal. Silly me. My imagination did not extend that far! While I admit that the homosexual origins are a bit of a personal turn off, I am open to trying new things. Thanks for the all the spicy reposts! Keep them coming!
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 04:42 PM
5

That is not what I thought that meant. Learn something new everyday!
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/24 03:31 PM
2

Oh boy! Can't wait until Friday ;)
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/24 04:38 PM
2

I don’t mean to sound unkind but I am genuinely struggling to understand. What message are you trying to get across here and what advice do you have to that point?
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 02:32 PM
3

When looking for a husband, extreme wealth is not the only alpha indicator. Yes, we should be looking for a man the ability or potential to provide. We should also be looking for a man who has strong values that align with our own. He should be willing to stand up for himself. He should treat you respectfully. He should be actively working towards goals and be a leader in his own life. Etc, etc, etc. I don’t think most women here are looking for a billionaire. They are looking for a well rounded…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/24 01:58 PM
7

Before I dispense with anymore advice, I want to set your expectations a little bit. Right now he is in "Rambo" as others have mentioned. He has just discovered the red pill and right now is very angry. He is placing blame on society and you for his dissatisfaction. Be aware that the relationship that he wants will never happen until he starts taking personal accountability and leadership of his own life. This is not something that you will be able to do for him. In the end it will be up to him.…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/24 01:53 AM
7

That’s a lot of time on makeup! Unless you are really passionate about it, your energy would be better spent divided between your other goals. A more effective tactic might be to schedule an appointment at a beauty counter/store for makeup application. They can show you the basics. Then if you see a particular makeup look you like you can try that out. I would also try to break down that recipe goal into something like “1 recipe a week” Other places to meet conservative people would be church if…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 10:29 PM
4

Stop trying to get into his head. He could have less than noble intentions or he could just be new and clumsily trying out the techniques. Doesn’t matter. You don’t like how he is treating you. End of story.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 09:54 PM
5

I believe in the red pill but I also think that there is a lot of variation in the interpretation of the red pill. Different people have different life experiences and goals, and so will apply the red pill to fulfill their particular desires. I would not recommend posting in men’s red pill forums. There is a lot of overlap in them with Incel and MGTOW culture, so their responses would likely not be what you are looking for. Your post would also probably be deleted as they like to keep them male …
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 09:14 PM
12

If you feel like he is dreading you and exhibiting other disrespectful behavior, you don’t have to try to out maneuver him out try to guess how he wants you to act. You’re just starting to talk to him so now would be a great time to move on.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 08:53 PM
13

Ok, so I see a few different things going on here. He is comparing you to “modern day women” after getting into red pill content. This is what we call Pandora’s Box, where his worldview is changing dramatically in a short period of time and he dumps all his anger onto his wife. This isn’t a fair reaction but it’s a very common one. Some men get stuck in this anger phase but for many, it is just that — a phase. I would try to get very clear, actionable items that he would like to see improvement …
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 08:43 PM
1

I’m assuming you already are so I don’t see withholding as being a good strategy to get the results you want.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 11:38 PM
1

I think you can take them first baby step of having the conversation with him about your desires. Let him know about your timeline. He might have different feelings about it and then you will have more information about what to do next. He may surprise you and feel the same way! You can’t get on the same page if you never open up. I do have some suggestions for the compulsive thoughts. Consider therapy. Sometimes it’s good to have someone you can trust to help you look at these types of situatio…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 08:09 PM
6

Yes. This is a very big decision that deserves time in making. Try your best to not let the anxiety get to you and enjoy things for that time. That being said, you don't deserve to live in limbo forever. If when the time comes he is uncertain, you will have to make some decisions about the best way to proceed for you and your children. In the meantime you can do your due diligence and try to figure out if you can get court approval and the father's permission. Also take into consideration how a …
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 03:52 PM
10

Sometimes, even when there is a lot of love between people, there can be very real things that keep them apart. If your mutual goal is to live together and have children then something has to give. If nothing gives then you remain where you are or you rip off the bandaid and seperate. I don't know the specifics of why you have to be in your school district. Are there any other possibilities that you have overlooked that would allow you to move? If not then you really do have to put your children…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 03:37 PM
3

Thanks for a great post. Be cute, be small, and fine I’ll take the pepper spray with me ;)
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 03:06 PM
5

These are all really great observations! Thank you for sharing a very thought out field report.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 01:57 PM
23

Believe him. He has told you he is not looking for a relationship. He has reminded you that he is too young. He is inviting you for “quiet and chill” — sounds a lot like Netflix & chill to me. You have mutual friends so you can continue to get to know him in group settings. If he ever is ready and you still want him he can let you know he’s serious. If you want to be in a relationship then continue to seek out other men who want to be in a relationship with you.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 01:53 PM
2

Love that analogy!
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 11:39 PM
9

I don’t know with what tone he made those comments so I’m not going to comment on that. I can’t say whether he was merely stating frustration or if he was demonstrating an explosive display of anger. What I do see is you having an extreme reaction to a basic miscommunication. The way you are describing yourself is not kind and is not fair. Miscommunications will happen. This does not mean you are a “f*ck up”. I don’t know if he is telling you this or if you are just generally very hard on yourse…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 10:18 PM
4

I also think that a lot of the problem with the term “submission” is that it’s not really clearly defined what we’re talking about. People who stumble upon red pill content see that word and all sorts of things pop up in their minds… Fifty shades scenarios, Stepford wives, extremely conservative religious marriages, abused doormats… I think that those scenarios are so far removed from how most of us think about and practice submission but that is the gut reaction people have.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 08:58 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 07:28 PM
2

Thank you! And thank you for your feedback. This was not originally written for reddit so I can see how the format is a little dense for this platform. I would also agree that there are other markers aside from social status and wealth that women look for. These just being the most stereotypical.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 07:16 PM
2

True, we can't put a bandaid blanket statement on every instance of cheating. I would say that sometimes there are real problems in a relationship. When a woman doesn't know how to effectively resolve these or has an unwilling partner, it will often lead to fantasies about greener pastures. So in these cases the hypergamy is a symptom of deeper relastionship problems. In the instance of filling a void/lack of self love, hypergamy on overdrive is an expression of these deeper rooted psycological …
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 04:20 PM
4

Agree, hypergamy is not always bad. In fact its not even usually bad! We should try to get the best partner that we can and be the best partner that we can! In the instance of the overly picky or delusional woman, she really has three choices. Do nothing and remain dissatified. She can be honest with herself and find someone who is a match for the person she is currently. Or she can be honest with herself and try to improve to the point where she is attractive to the men she is attracted to. I t…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 03:00 PM
2

I would absolutely agree with your statement on assortive mating. People do generally tend to marry other people who are like them. Not only do you have the most access to people who share a similar phenotype, but you are also more likely to share similar cultures and values that will lead to a successful relationship. I would also say that most of us tend to look for the best partner that they can get! When a woman "marries up" in terms of social or financial levels, she usually has something e…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 02:51 PM
3

That is not how I think of it in my head but I see where you are coming from. I would say more that you may be more hypergamous at various points in your life. Attractive men are always going to be attractive no matter what -- so in that sense I would say that hypergamy is always "on". I would also say that some women are going to have higher levels of neuroticism or attachement issues to the point where they are constantly in trade-up mode. For these women the hypergamy instinct is going to be …
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 02:43 PM
6

Thanks for your input! This works for some people and their relationship but not for others. To clarify, I am not trying to suggest immediately blocking every male friend you have once you enter a relationship, but rather become concientious of how you are interacting. Everyone will have to personally evalute the situation for themselves and their relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/24 02:31 PM
14

He’s not willing to drive to you. His top relationship qualities are “homely and hardworking”. He is evasive in his answers and is giving off bitter vibes. You’re not even in a relationship yet. Throw this fish back in the pond.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 03:58 PM
13

I would pay close attention to how he treats others. How does he treat the waiter and store employees? How does he treat people who are under him at work? Etc. You are looking for clues as to how he leads. I would pay attention to his attitude towards women and what sort of media he is consuming. If he is into media that is heavily influenced by MGTOW or incel culture that could be an indicator that he has a less than favorable view towards women. Tread carefully. Look at the relationships of pe…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/24 03:29 PM
3

Another big hug from me. Sometimes life will swallow you whole and there is no one to come and save you. I am so sorry that you are going through one of those seasons. I have a few ideas if you feel up to any of it. Go down to the very basics with homeschool, especially with the younger one who probably needs the most supervision. Language arts and math. Everything else take a more relaxed approach. It doesn't even need to be the most stringent math/english programs, just something that is "easy…
/r/RedPillWives15/08/24 07:31 PM
2

I am going to address my answer in two parts. The first part involves things that you could potentially be doing to contribute to his feelings. As we progress in relationships it is very natural for things to feel a little less exciting and “light”. As we become more intimate with each other and start to share more in life’s struggles, relationships can start to take on a heavier feel. It could be that he is starting to pick up on this, especially if you are in a stressful field or bring your wo…
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/24 07:59 PM
2

You've received some excellent advice about giving your husband praise and validation. It has also been noted that sometimes it is ok to give advice. If you are unsure you can ask him. I would explore more your trust issues and where they stem from. Your husband has chosen a financially secure career so he has shown good judgement. Do your trust issues and the resulting controlling behaviors come from your past? If you grew up poor or with parents who were very anxious about money then these fee…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 03:14 PM
18

This is always a tricky situation because many of us women are in charge of the meals and we want with all of our hearts to support our men. Right now he is not taking full accountability for his health and with you being in charge of meals it makes it very convienient for him tell himself that his failures are your fault. There was some great advice about planning the menu together. This way it gives his a little more resposibility over his own outcome and leaves less room for complaints. I thi…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/24 01:02 PM
5

u/germainegreerluvr has given some great advice about how to frame the conversation. I would very seriously consider that this is a man who is literally putting his sex drive over your physical safety. He is ruled by his passion. Have the conversation and you will very quickly find out what kind of man you are dealing with. He might move forward with marriage very quickly or he may suddenly disappear.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/24 07:32 PM
2

Yes if she makes a boundary around this she has to be willing to follow through. I tend to agree that he will have a very difficult time in managing his bipolar to the point where he can make changes. But I’m not the one in love with him trying to work things out. This gives her another option to try to make things work if she wants them to but she would have to stand firm in her resolve. OP, if you go this route, understand that this is not about controlling his behavior but about telling yours…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 04:32 PM
4

At the end of the day you are not going to be able to control his mental illness and the associated behaviors. You have to decide what you are willing to do and put up with. To begin with I would suggest getting into personal therapy yourself regardless of whether or not he is willing to do couples therapy or seek help for his bipolar disorder. Based on his actions I would also be inclined to agree with him that renting might be the best option for now. If in a year or two you are seeing any rea…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/24 02:54 PM
2

Thank you. Sometimes stereotypes exist for a reason! ;)
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 04:34 PM
3

Please do. This sort of distrust tends to crop up over and over again to sabotage relationships. It sounds as if you truly do love him and if there is nothing he has done to earn this distust then I would hate to see it keep you apart.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 04:33 PM
9

From what you have written I cannot come to the conclusion that you are unreasonable or that he is manipulative. What this does sound like could be a case of is mismatched goals, lack of trust, and a pinch of cultural differences. It appears that he is interested in having a wife who prioritizes him, starting a family, and supporting his career. He also seems to fit the Italian stereotype of being a little bit of a mammas boy. As I understand it, it is very common in their culture to live with f…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/24 03:33 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter