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TheGellerCup Archive

View 2 posts and 37 comments by TheGellerCup on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

That sounds like a trauma bond. Look into it. You might get some insight into how to understand your feelings towards him, and hopefully move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 03:08 PM
1

I disagree. I've seen it happen often in Europe, both as a kid and an adult. But you have to consider that there's a lot of cultural diversity in that continent, despite the many similarities (e.g.: Germany is a lot more different than Italy, but France less so, etc.), so I would hesitate to say it "happens/doesn't happen in Europe" b/c I'd be throwing them all in the same bag. We just have different life experiences. And that's okay. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/20 10:31 PM
1

I grew up in 3 continents and 5 different countries, the US included. None of the other countries were radically different culturally--at least in terms of gender roles. Edit: also, in the US now if I'm using public transport, men (all ages) will often give up their seat to me. And I'm not attractive enough that you could chalk it up to a looks thing. I've also seen them do it for other women. It's definitely not as big as the door holding, but I've encountered it more often than the walking on …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/20 01:41 PM
1

I'm aware that there was a broader point. I wasn't addressing that, though. I was commenting on the walking on the street side thing, and other such niceties. I'm surprised that you haven't seen anyone give up their seat to a woman. It's definitely a cultural expectation where I grew up, and I have seen it happen often in the US as well. I guess it goes to show that we all have very different experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 10:51 AM
1

Not even a little bit. He was a terrible father for many reasons, and teaching/empowering his daughter was the last thing on his mind ever. I appreciate that you're giving him the benefit of the doubt, though! :) Edit: But yes, I agree that it's a handy thing to know. At least some good came of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/20 12:44 AM
1

That's great! Good for them! (It was not my dad's case, unfortunately...)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/20 12:36 AM
1

Old enough to recognize when things are heading into ad hominem territory.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 09:55 PM
1

I don't think that's an accurate statement. I do think it's a wild generalization.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 06:34 PM
1

I don't think that applies to what we teach our kids to do when dealing with other people. Because "other people" is such a big group, you can generalize and keep things neutral. To me, it's kind of like BDSM--there's nothing wrong with it, and it's okay to be into it, but you can't just start slapping people willy nilly during sex with no warning. Vanilla sex is a good neutral rule to follow. If then you or your partner share that you're into BDSM, then you or your partner can decide if you're …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 04:34 PM
3

Sure, but it takes time to get to know a person and what they want specifically. So, in the meantime, a good rule of thumb would be "don't vary your treatment of people based on their gender and traditional gender roles." And I think that would fall under "treat others how you want to be treated", because I haven't met a lot of people who want others to treat them a particular way based on pre-conceived assumptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 04:25 PM
1

Once, my dad walked into my room and said "Get up. You're gonna help me replace the caulk on the bathtub." "But dad, I just finished painting my nails," I whined. My dad stared at me unfazed and said, "You better not get any nail polish on the caulk then." (I thought he was being progressive, but it turns out he'd just always wanted a son to help around the house and decided that his only child, a female 16 yr old couch potato, would have to do. Sigh.)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 04:21 PM
2

Interesting that you mentioned the men being taught to walk on the street side. I (F) have never heard of this, but I've had a few guys sort of gently "move" me to the other side so they could be on the street side. When I, very confused, asked them what that was about, they all just sort of shrugged and said something along the lines of them having been taught to do that. I know you were discussing a broader issue, but I just think it's such a silly notion of "chivalry". Like, what does it acco…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 04:16 PM
91

Yeah I don't get this. I mean, it's narcissistic either way, but at least if the guy is a billionaire that looks like a model, I can see why they might develop crazy expectations. But it's never that guy. It's always really gross looking guys. WHY. HOW. WHERE do they get that kind of nerve? It's almost impressive if it weren't disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 03:03 PM
4

Holy. Fuck. Where were you 3 years ago??? And how do you know my ex??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 12:11 AM
3

I haven't. I still have a hard time classifying what happened to me as abuse--I mean, you hear stories about women who were beaten, tortured, killed... it just feels wrong to think of myself that way, like I'm appropriating their victimhood. All things considered, I'm physically okay, and as long as my ex keeps pretending that he was the victim, he's not going to contact me (he claims he's scared of me). I don't know. This is all very new to me. We've broken up before but this is the first time …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 03:02 AM
22

I'm so glad you googled him. And also, wow. You can't make that stuff up. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 01:52 AM
46

This really resonated with me. It's exactly how nearly every break up with my ex (there were dozens) went. And it's so true, they say something so outrageous and untrue that you feel compelled to point out that it's not actually what happened, because you have so much evidence and surely anyone can see that these claims are ridiculous. Except for him, of course. And the mental health part. Oof. I've always felt so bad because it's really not their fault, but if you tell them that the way they're…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 03:39 PM
2

Well, it's not really that easy... I obviously didn't sign up for a violent and abusive relationship willingly. If I'd known what he was really like, I would have dumped him too, but he didn't exhibit this behavior until after I'd signed a lease on a 1bd apartment with him. The bed we slept on was mine but he refused to sleep on the couch. We shared a kitchen and bathroom. Literally no way to avoid each other, and I didn't have the money to just leave. Eventually I found a friend who let me stay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 03:08 PM
5

Thank you for your words. I definitely feel like this relationship desensitized me to watch normalcy was. Hurting each other just became the new normal and we just kept calling it love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 02:36 PM
8

I haven't seen a lot of negativity, but I'm also fairly new here. I do like the dating advice on whom to date, but what helps me the most is the reminders about whom not to date--without ruling out the entire gender. I mean, it's great to know how to make things work with a HVM, but there's a lot of LVMs in disguise out there, and once they get you in their web, it's hard to get out (for some, myself included). Spotting those red flags can be hard sometimes when you don't have perspective. This …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:57 PM
7

I know, trust me, I KNOW. I can't explain it. My heart just aches when I think about the person he used to be. I miss that person. And the worst part is that if he were to come across this, he'd just feel angry and wronged. I know there's no fixing things and that the only right call is to walk away, but it just feels like there's a big hole in my chest. It's pathetic, I know, but there was a time when I felt safe and loved around him. I guess I'm just having a hard time letting go of that, beca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:37 AM
9

I'm still in the process of absolving myself. I don't even recognize the person I was around him in those moments.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:33 AM
5

I hope so too. I just really don't like what the relationship devolved into, and he was always telling me how he'd talk to his therapists and they all agreed that I was the abuser. It's just hard. Anytime we tried to talk about it, he'd just say that I refused to accept responsibility for the problems. How do you argue with that? I mean, I was telling him the same thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:32 AM
18

Yup. My ex left me a panicked voicemail where he was crying and saying he's "terrified" of me, and that he doesn't feel safe around me. He's accused me of so much for so long that I think he actually believes it now. And the worst part is that he says the same thing to me. I mean, it's a great tactic--if someone accuses you of gaslighting them, just accuse them of gaslighting you. It's a hamster wheel of toxicity that I'm glad to be out of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 04:04 AM
3

It's a great movie! That scene with Julianne Moore at the pharmacy gets me every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 05:38 PM
12

I hope so. I've had way too many partners whose real personality turned out to be real ugly and misogynistic, and I'm just so over ittttt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:22 PM
6

Oh God. I haven't even looked at r/sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:20 PM
12

Yeah I just always assumed it had something to do with the Matrix? I guess I have to keep up with the times more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:33 PM
4

Yeah I agree 100%. I just have to work on biting my tongue because it's never worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:22 PM
16

I'm glad you had the self control to walk away, because I always find myself taking the bait and replying. I don't reply because I'm interested, just to call them out, but it's usually a waste of time. I probably would've replied to this guy with "What would make you say that?" in the hopes of starting a dialogue in which he sees the error of his ways and I save his soul from misogyny and then there's a huge parade and the whole town cheers for me and instead of confetti raining down, it's perso…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 11:47 PM
3

I can now, unfortunately. In his other comments he went on about how he doesn't interact with women often and can't figure out why women (as though they're the ones to blame) don't want to talk to him or date him. I mean, geez, what could possibly be the problem?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:30 PM
3

I was just making a joke. I thought it was funny that your "random" example is something I've literally experienced with several partners. Seeing things like this helps remind me that we deserve better, but it's also super cringey and embarrassing that I used to think this was funny/cute.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:21 PM
14

Noo, don't blame philosophy!!! I teach it, and more people should be exposed to it. The whole point of philosophy is to try to figure out why we do/say/believe what we do, and constantly reevaluating those things to see if we're on the right track and find the best way to live. There's literally nothing in modern philosophy that supports this man's mindset. If anything, studying philosophy sheds light on our preconceived ideas and biases (so much of it focuses on sexism and racism and its impact…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 09:04 PM
5

Okay, well, if we're just gonna put my business out there like that...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 08:46 PM
11

My ex was asked by his mom to buy fruit, I think it was pears. He comes back with peaches. We start laughing and he has legitimately no idea what's wrong. Like, produce is labeled. Later that week, we were cooking and he was helping me. I said we needed boiled eggs, and asked him to fill a pot with water. He does, and then cracks the eggs open and puts them in the water. Again, he had no idea what was wrong. I thought it was all endearing at the time, but the more I think about why and how our r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 08:44 PM
53

Yesss! So many posts on AskMen about how to get a girl to date you or love you or be attracted to you... Goes to show how irrelevant out actual wants and needs are. We're not even a part of the conversation, when we should be the ones leading it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 08:35 PM
83

I replied to a guy who said that "girls love to be princess carried because it makes them feel small, fragile, and protected" and that if "you're hiking with a girl and she twists her ankle, and you carry her to the nearest ranger station, she'll likely develop an attraction towards you". I KNOW. WTF. I told him that no, we don't, and that he was generalizing. His reply? "Maybe you are just atypical." Like, he made a generalization about a group, was corrected by a member of that group, and his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 08:33 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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