TheIcelander Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	Anyone who wants a girl should just approach more girls I screwed up plenty of times and had cops talk to me, got fired from work because of it This is not the result I am looking for.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/16 10:22 PM
1	Women want men to self-reject There are legitimate learning disabilities surrounding social cues. Some people will take longer to learn them. Some might not be able to learn them at all. These people are in society and are dating, and will make mistakes or turn into red pillers out of frustration. It's not right, but it's true. However, enthusiastic consent is the law in California. Sex without it can be considered assault or rape. Just so you're aware.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/10/16 07:19 PM
1	Women want men to self-reject That's fine for you. For others the potential at miscommunication is too great and not worth the risk.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/10/16 07:04 PM
1	Women want men to self-reject Then we need to help men get the right message. Blaming feminists, feminism or women is not the answer (which you may not be doing, but it is what OP and many other posters in this thread are doing). I agree that's what a lot of guys in the thread are doing. And it's wrong to blame feminism just like it's wrong for people to blame their sexual shame on their religion. But it's important to know where that shame came from in order to start work on it. That doesn't mean that religion or feminism a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/10/16 06:36 PM
1	Women want men to self-reject Just because a minority of guys can't read body language doesn't mean that the population should be dumbed down to accomodate them. This isn't the only reason that enthusiastic consent has been proposed. I highly suggest reading the article because they don't even mention socially inept guys as a reason.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/10/16 05:26 PM
2	Women want men to self-reject And therein lies the problem. Consent needs to be clear, lest you're sexually harassing or assaulting someone. Implied consent is difficult to be clear about. However, if you ask to clear things up you're suddenly too pushy, or not romantic. In other words: Asking for consent indicates you lack social intelligence and/or confidence, both of which are unattractive to most women. Hence the catch 22. Men who have trouble or not enough experience reading the signals that imply consent are going to m…	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/10/16 04:45 PM
3	Women want men to self-reject That doesn't change the fact that there are men who have taken away that message, and that this hurts themselves and others. I agree that it's not anyone's fault but mine, but it affected me in a way that I'm still trying to recover from.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 10:56 PM
1	Women want men to self-reject No one is stopping men from approaching, except men who keep asking permission and searching for approval - a minority of broken men [beyond teenage] I agree with this, but isn't asking for permission part of consent?	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 09:42 PM
9	Women want men to self-reject I was specifically told not to look at women the wrong way, and specifically taught not to approach/escalate with women because they don't want to be objectified. This is what I was taught as well. "Don't objectify women" is a great message, so long as the definition of objectification is clear to the listener. If the listener thinks that it's not objectification as long as they don't actively imagine the woman as an object then they'll still disrespect women and wonder what the hell everyone's …	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 08:46 PM
3	Women want men to self-reject We have, but it's a recurring problem.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 08:31 PM
4	Women want men to self-reject I have no issues with them... until they start lashing out at other with their misplaced frustration. Red Pill is overflowing with this shit. I agree. I've got two daughters and don't want them to ever know what TRP is or be exposed to their toxic thoughts about women and how dating works. But the problem is that there will continue to be these guys out there - like their father - who have "failed to launch" yet still have the very human need for emotional and physical intimacy. I don't know wha…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 08:19 PM
3	Women want men to self-reject Well, then the people who ridicule someone for approaching are just wrong. This doesn't mean it doesn't hurt the approacher, or that it can cause problems, but that's where a good support system comes in. And I think a lot of guys lack this sort of support system. I know it would have helped me get over my early romantic rejection.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 08:05 PM
4	Women want men to self-reject I agree that men need to work on it, but a huge part of learning is making mistakes. There are obvious lines that should not be crossed, but they are clear and easy to teach. Like "Don't touch people's privates without explicit permission." But there are lines that are harder to see, or ones that can be crossed given the proper signals - when to escalate to touch when flirting or when a kiss is desired, for instance - that will be crossed by mistake when someone is learning these skills. These g…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 08:04 PM
7	Women want men to self-reject I'm sorry if I wasn't clear enough, but I agree that it's not society's fault or women's fault. I'm just trying to explain that it's not as simple as most neurotypical people make it out to be. (I'm also not OP)	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 07:32 PM
7	Women want men to self-reject Plenty of these men are outside right now. I don't kiss my own wife sometimes because I can't really tell if she's receptive to it. Most of them just never initiate because they don't want to be a creep. A few initiate regardless and end up being cautionary tales.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 07:30 PM
3	Women want men to self-reject Oh, I'm aware that TRP is toxic and will fuck me up more. Luckily they hadn't really existed when I was a teenager or I'd be in a pretty bad way. I'm a little disappointed that you boiled my post down to that detail, though.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 07:20 PM
7	Women want men to self-reject No one is shamed for trying to kiss a girl This is untrue. I won't go in to how I know.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 07:16 PM
10	Women want men to self-reject Who tells men (in a blanket statement) to never approach women, ever? Who tells men that they are not supposed to get turned on by attractive women? This is the message I got for a lot of my life. It was from a combination of factors, though never explicit, that I'm still sorting through. Things including frequent initial rejection during my youth, a persistent nonverbal learning disorder, and my sex negative feminist mother. A concrete example was the response to Rebecca Watson's ElevatorGate. …	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 07:15 PM
12	Women want men to self-reject I think the issue is that many men feel they're in a Catch 22. They're supposed to initiate, but doing something nonconsensual is considered sexual assault. Which leaves some, who have trouble understanding non-verbal cues, feeling like they they're committing sexual assault by indicating their romantic interest. (I'm still working on overcoming this myself. And I'm 35 and married.) For these men places like TRP offer a way out of this trap. They reassure men that their sexuality is wanted, but …	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 07:09 PM
8	Women want men to self-reject You are suggesting that men's sexuality revolves around being able to proceed with approaches, touches, and kisses... regardless of whether the woman is interested or not. This is sexual assault. I am in no way disagreeing that touching or kissing someone who doesn't wish to be touched or kissed is sexual assault. And if someone gives clear indication that an approach is unwanted it should be broken off lest it become harassment. That being said, there is a significant amount of dating advice ou…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 07:04 PM
8	Women want men to self-reject They don't know that how to tell if a woman is into them, because a woman is never into them. I agree with this. If I were to only approach women who seemed into me I'd never approach anyone because I either can't tell when someone is into me, or nobody's ever been into me. what moral right do you to attack and punish men for going in hoping to be one of those? I don't think it's trying to punish men who approach. They're punishing people who persist in their approach. Regardless of where you ap…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/16 06:57 PM
10	Why are polyamourous people, for a lack of better term, weird? You probably meet way more vegans than you think. And way more atheists and way more pagans and way more trans people. The ones that stick out are the ones who seem different. This is normal confirmation bias. "Normie" poly people that I've met generally don't flaunt it because there is a very real threat to their livelihood and family life if they were more open. People have lost their kids and jobs for being polyamorous so it makes sense that they keep it under wraps.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/10/16 10:49 PM
1	Male physical attraction is only 50% physical I think that some men, in some situations, do sit with their arms and legs spread as a way of signaling dominance. Some do it because they've sat or been taught to sit. It's the same with women who take up more space than necessary, and it's rude whenever either gender does it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/10/16 07:50 PM
5	Male physical attraction is only 50% physical I was with you up until you claimed manspreading was anything but an annoying attempt to assert dominance in an inappropriately situation. If you're sharing a crowded public space don't take up more than you need. You can do things other than spreading your legs or arms, like having good posture. It's not attractive to be an asshole.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/10/16 04:44 PM
1	CMV: Many "incels" who post here would benefit immensely from therapy Agreed. They don't need sympathy, they need empathy. And sometimes that's telling them they're being whiny twats.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/09/16 07:27 PM
2	I have been a BluePiller for many years, read it almost every day. i often post and submit there. but the second i said MGTOW maybe has some valid ideas they branded me an outsider and went rabid.... I'm a BluePiller but I recognize that MGTOW and even TRP have some valid points. Improving yourself is good. Finding value in yourself is good. A lot of the advice is approaching the same problem from different directions or describing the same actions from different points of view. Where MGTOW and TRP go wrong, for me, is where they blame women and cite dubious or non-existent science for their reasoning.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/09/16 05:58 PM
2	CMV: Many "incels" who post here would benefit immensely from therapy I'm a man who goes to a male therapist. I can confirm that I'm not gay. Not even a little.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/09/16 03:16 PM
1	CMV: Many "incels" who post here would benefit immensely from therapy No one here truly gives a shit about incels, they just enjoy debating about them. You're not going to believe me, but I really do care about those guys because I can see so much of myself in them. I see how I could have gone down that path and how dark and isolating it is, and really want to find a way to help them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/09/16 03:15 PM
5	CMV: Many "incels" who post here would benefit immensely from therapy Their problems are complex and interrelated. Depression can come from lack of human contact, which creates self esteem issues. But the lack of self esteem makes them want to avoid human contact which causes further depression. What's worse is that every so often they'll take a risk and try to be more social, but because their social skills are so rusty they have a bad time and conclude that the whole thing isn't worth it, even if they find a group of people who share their obscure interests. Bre…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/09/16 03:12 PM
2	Q4Women: What is "creepy" behaviour in a man? Sexual advances from people you're attracted to are less unwelcome than those from people you're not attracted to. In other words, a hot, confident guy being flirty will be perceived as creepy less often than an ugly, awkward guy. This is probably why guys think that being unattractive makes them creepy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/09/16 03:31 PM
1	Bluepill: How common is the overly picky "forever alone" male who is not making an effort or simply turns down women? Why focus on girls who aren't interested in casual sex when all i want is casual sex? If that's you're thing, go for it. But it limits the market.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/09/16 03:15 PM
1	Bluepill: How common is the overly picky "forever alone" male who is not making an effort or simply turns down women? what is this?? I have never seen a girl go home with guy because his emotions were beautiful O.o I have. Girls interested in casual sex are not looking for a conversation LOL If dating is a market, then focusing on only a small segment is leaving a lot on the table. Maybe focus on girls who aren't interested in casual sex, too.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/09/16 03:11 PM
4	Do women actually want men to suffer? So stretch your comfort zone. Try new things. That women like men with a lot of different experiences is a blue pill concept. Getting those new experiences gets you into the company of people other than men, which means you could meet women, and you get to get more comfortable being around them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/09/16 03:50 AM
5	Bluepill: How common is the overly picky "forever alone" male who is not making an effort or simply turns down women? Very true. They also tend to not be so good at talking to people, so someone who might be less physically attractive but very emotionally and intellectually attractive wouldn't be compatible becaus they can't keep up a conversation long enough to pique their interest.	/r/PurplePillDebate	11/09/16 03:30 AM
3	Do You Think This Is A Fair Test of Husband/Wife? I look at it like an ecosystem. The animals that stand out and are easily visible, like monarch butterflies, are probably poisonous and should be avoided. If a woman comes on to me my first thought is that there's probably danger here, either because she wants something or is unstable. I'm not going to avoid her, but I will keep her at arm's length until I'm certain she doesn't present a danger. I've got a family to worry about.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/09/16 03:53 PM
2	Do You Think This Is A Fair Test of Husband/Wife? I'm on the autism spectrum but have hung out with sex positive people at those sorts of events and have never seen a woman hit on a man like that.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/09/16 03:50 PM
1	What is the female equivalent to black pill? There's more to not being lonely than just having someone to have sex with.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/09/16 09:13 PM
1	Question for both pills, mostly blue - do you think creep-shaming is fair in the context in which men are still expected to approach and initiate? a lot of it is intuitive. That really depends on how neurotypical someone is. For me, social interactions are most definitely not intuitive. Ones that have a pretty standard script - making a phone call, holding a meeting, interacting with a cashier - are easy. But trying to make a new friend, or talking to someone to whom I'm attracted are very open ended and I don't know what to do after a few minutes. It's lead to me being isolated socially and romantically. I'm not happy about it and I don't…	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/08/16 03:46 PM
1	Question for both pills, mostly blue - do you think creep-shaming is fair in the context in which men are still expected to approach and initiate? The problem is when someone doesn't pick up on the rejection. This makes guys who were "just being nice" into creeps. And guys who aren't the best at reading body language are anxious that they might be creeps so they avoid contact with people because they don't want to be creep shamed.	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/08/16 03:05 PM