TheMistakesWeMake Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	Stfu or leadership opportunity? No worries, man. This shit takes time and effort, we all make mistakes along the way. Every day, a little better. That’s all you need to keep your eye on. In a year or two you’ll look back and wonder why certain things that come to you so easily now seemed so hard at the time.	/r/askMRP	14/09/21 08:47 PM
3	Stfu or leadership opportunity? Great response.	/r/askMRP	14/09/21 07:07 PM
12	Stfu or leadership opportunity? The misconception about true dread is that it's something you manufacture. It's not. Real 'dread' is a consequence of the type of life you lead - a side effect - not something you conjure up to get a certain reaction. Your wife is not stupid. She can spot the difference between passive threats/dread, and genuine reasons to be concerned and put in extra effort. She gave you the cold shoulder that night because you essentially threatened her with "I'll make you anxious" - just like HornsOfApathy s…	/r/askMRP	14/09/21 07:06 PM
9	Height insecurity It’s not about your height. It’s about your deeply engrained self-loathing. Deep down you may not like yourself very much and look for ways to confirm that internal message, whether that’s height or incel shit. You need to spend some time seeking where this comes from, and addressing those areas. Parents not around much? Rejected by girls as a teen a lot? Etc. Etc.	/r/askTRP	29/11/20 03:27 PM
4	Why do women like withholding sex? To be honest, I think some women enjoy withholding as a power trip, but in my experience most don’t. If they think you’re hot/attractive they’ll jump into bed with you. Whilst they can/do play games, a lot of the time we men tell ourselves that due to not being high enough SMV (in their eyes). That’s not to say there aren’t entitled women out there who are 5s but think they warrant a 9 before they’ll put out... but then why would you care about them anyway. Women’s thoughts are like the weather,…	/r/askTRP	02/11/20 06:45 PM
2	Can someone explain why the book Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is blue pilled? I read it last night and found it pretty read and echoing TRP Well put. Negotiated desire is a theme running through books like this. In general terms, Men think very logically. If I input this, I will get this output - but that’s not how women work, and that’s why even doing “all the right things” can fall so flat. Women’s desire is forged space. Think of their arousal and desire being a detective, a detective who loves the right kind of mystery. To create that spark, she needs a series of clues. The clues are aspects of you as a man... your physical attr…	/r/askTRP	05/10/20 06:02 PM
29	How common is cheating? Nah man, it’s possible. I’m in an LTR and have a son who’s a year old. She’s as loyal as they come and an awesome partner (amazing sex, not a nag, shows me a ton of respect), but if I fuck up (not be the best version of myself) she’ll let me know, and vice versa. LTRs can be amazing but don’t define your life by them!	/r/askTRP	05/10/20 12:54 PM
81	How common is cheating? AWALT doesn’t mean a woman will do something, but it means they are all capable - it’s not meant to be taken literally. Everyone, in the right circumstances, could cheat. The threshold which makes someone say yes or no depends on a ton of factors. The better quality of woman you have, the less likely she will cheat, but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Fail to lead her, be alpha enough, lose frame etc. too much and you’ll know soon enough...	/r/askTRP	05/10/20 12:06 PM
8	Can someone explain why the book Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is blue pilled? I read it last night and found it pretty read and echoing TRP Possibly due to the frame perspective. I think the book speaks to women more than men, and it has a consistent theme of focusing a lot on your partner and giving them what they need. I think the general understanding presented in the book is quite red pill, but the methods are more bluepill (covert contracts - “if I do this, she owes me that”). Behaving in a way that seeks to be validated, and is done to get a specific reaction (sex for example) is the opposite of having abundance and outcome in…	/r/askTRP	05/10/20 12:03 PM
180	How common is cheating? Much like any statistic, it’s useful as a guide, but it may not tell you much about what you might face in reality. I’ve heard it could be up to 40% of men and women have that cheat... but if you break it down and look at why in any given scenario you’ll get a much clearer indication. For example: What’s the quality of the woman you’ve chosen, does she have a history of that kind of behaviour? What are you like, are you the type of man women desire (thus lowering their odds of cheating), are you…	/r/askTRP	05/10/20 11:57 AM
5	Tired of girls trying to have sex with me(serious). Sounds to me like your sex drive is now leaning away from the validation-based drive a lot of men have. By 'validation-based' I mean... you see a hot woman, you want to fuck her, and part of you needs to fuck her, because if she chooses to fuck you then you must be worth something. Attractive girls don't sleep with losers etc. etc. Chasing pussy relentlessly can be a sign of insecurity, neediness and so on - it isn't just a sign of high-T/ a high sex drive. Those who develop outcome independence…	/r/askTRP	29/09/20 10:47 AM
1	Could a man withhold sex from a woman? Has anybody done it? What happened as a result? Is it a good or bad idea? If you aren't putting yourself in situations to attract other women (regardless of if you want to)... it automatically kills their sexual interest. Exactly this. If you're a man with options, and you 'choose' them (choose being the operative word here), that's far more enticing for them than them being the one you want to fuck because you have no other choice.	/r/askTRP	18/09/20 05:59 AM
1	Could a man withhold sex from a woman? Has anybody done it? What happened as a result? Is it a good or bad idea? It essentially all comes down to you though. A high SMV man with options is highly arousing to a woman - be the best version of yourself and it'll come pretty easy/naturally.	/r/askTRP	18/09/20 05:56 AM
1	Could a man withhold sex from a woman? Has anybody done it? What happened as a result? Is it a good or bad idea? In my view, I think there are two factors at play. Attraction, being how much someone is drawn to someone else, and arousal, being how much they get you going sexually. For the best sexual dynamics you want a high level of both. When I refer to the female sex drive, I’m referring to a prerequisite of them having a high level of attraction. This would be due to you being high value, good looking, charismatic, muscular etc. Whatever ticks their boxes. When you have that basis, the arousal comes in…	/r/askTRP	18/09/20 05:28 AM
5	Girl will only do light kisses on the lips? Put yourself in her shoes. By your post, you’d a prize for her, but are you acting like one? Does a prize accommodate her setting the dynamic and the pace? Does a prize continually invest in her when she’s not giving much/of anything back? Does a prize spend time wondering about ‘this one girl’. You’re fixated on her and as a result you’re underselling yourself to her. You’re demonstrating that she can offer very little but you’ll keep trying. Soft next, focus on yourself/other girls, and give a…	/r/askTRP	12/09/20 07:20 AM
16	Could a man withhold sex from a woman? Has anybody done it? What happened as a result? Is it a good or bad idea? If your SMV is high enough it can send a girl into meltdown (depending on the girl of course). Generally speaking, sex is currency for them, they know it holds a lot of power, so if you’re the one declining it removes their power over you so to speak and many can’t handle that. The female sex drive is also rather narcissistic, with most women’s arousal in my experience being tied to just how much you ‘have to have them’, or how much you would choose them over all the other girls. The higher your…	/r/askTRP	12/09/20 07:11 AM
1	Acted needy and weak, need help fixing this situation for the future Most likely nothing to salvage, man. Girls fluctuate in the way they behave, she may just be having a rubbish couple of days. You’re feeling paranoid because you’re worried you’re not enough to keep her interested... it’s cool, I struggle with it sometimes too. Don’t beat yourself up though. Remind yourself that how good a man you are is not dependent on her emotions towards you at a given moment, and then go do something constructive. Hit the gym, learn something etc. Keep moving forwards.	/r/askTRP	28/08/20 09:32 PM
1	Time changing with LTR ? Happens once? Ignore it. Happens a couple of times, call her out in a playful way (if it bothers you). Happens frequently? Soft next a little... she’s not respecting your time and you have better things to do than to wait on her etc.	/r/askTRP	28/08/20 09:16 PM
20	Dad just passed away two days ago. How to pick myself up? Agree. Take your time, allow yourself to process it. It takes time to truly accept and understand a loss like that. Try to avoid major decisions or any forms of drastic action within the next few months too - you will heal, and your positive outlook will make you stronger in the long run.	/r/askTRP	25/08/20 10:25 AM
1	What age do the majority of men hit peak SMV? What’s your usual women profile now? Early 20s, HB8+?	/r/askTRP	19/08/20 08:40 PM
4	Weight loss and interest from girls Exactly this. OP remember that it’s not really about who you were as an individual, it was about your value to those who could potentially ‘make a purchase’. You’ve gone from a beat up old banger to a sports car - the attention you receive is going to be different, and can you blame them? Accept it, empathise with their position and realise that you’re more than that now and you deserve the attention you’re getting.	/r/askTRP	19/08/20 08:18 PM
3	Trickle truth? Relax a little. It seems vague at the moment so you probably don’t have enough to go on to decide on a course of action either way. Enjoy her as a FWB. It will become clear if she is ( or isn’t) LTR material. Right now your concern is you mourning the ideal of her. Give it a while longer and see what comes to light. Edit: Also, if she’s that good, then you’ve got to be good enough to get her in the first place. You’re likely more of a prize than you realise, man.	/r/askTRP	19/08/20 08:11 PM
2	Newborn child dilemma How old is your daughter? The first few months are a total shit show, with their hormones being all over the place and crazy levels of sleep deprivation. If over 6 or so months then she certainly needs to start pumping to provide some flexibility. As insanely frustrating as it must be, try to be patient and minimise any reaction to inflammatory shit they bring up (like her friend). Way easier said than done but over time it will settle - many women have this incredible skill to always see themse…	/r/askTRP	17/08/20 01:52 PM
9	Guy at my LTRs job is trying fuck her Nah man, they trickle truth this crap to ease their own dissonance. There's far more to this than she's letting on if what OP has stated is verbatim. She feels bad about something and is laying the foundation for deferring responsibility for it. If she mentions him frequently, but in a negative/dismissive way, she's trying convince herself of something by convincing OP. You don't talk about someone you don't care about. Actions not words etc. etc.	/r/askTRP	14/05/20 01:32 PM
1	How to stop being so envious We often don’t have a choice in what happens to us, but we do have a choice in how we respond to it. You’re fixated on the former, when you need to spend more time on the latter. So what if some dude is better looking, richer, taller, gets more girls. There will always be something better than you out there, but you’re not in competition with it... Do you have a purpose? Do you know what your aims are 1 year, 5 years from now etc? What you get out of life is entirely down to how you relate to th…	/r/askTRP	04/05/20 08:10 PM
5	UPDATE: Yes, the very hot 23 year old quarantine "girlfriend" with a high N-Count and kinky tendencies was cheating on me. Posts are meant to be questions rather than updates, but he’s leaving it open as it’s related to a previous post posing a question.	/r/askTRP	04/05/20 08:02 PM
5	Are your married friends happy? Thanks pal. Good to know.	/r/askTRP	20/12/19 09:12 PM
1	Are your married friends happy? I am a father of 3 months. In my experience so far, the pregnancy hormonal changes aside, the biggest change has been the constant state of overwhelm my LTR is in. She’s permanently stressed due to the demands of our son, which in turn leads her to being way more bitchy, and shit-testy. Her priority is now him, but it’s mostly a biological drive. I’ll never be first in her eyes again, and if you want kids you have to live with that to some degree. That said, she’s doing everything she can to mee…	/r/askTRP	20/12/19 07:30 PM
5	Are your married friends happy? I recently became a father (3 months), and whilst I adore my son and enjoy being a dad, I haven’t felt it to be significantly impactful on my happiness. At what age (of your kid(s)) did you find it became that rewarding parenting them?	/r/askTRP	20/12/19 07:22 PM
2	Anxiety about getting yelled at My father left when I was 9, leaving my mother to raise 3 children on her own. When I became an adult I found I got insanely jealous at the thought of any girls I liked talking to other guys etc. The fear was that someone else would be better and they’d be chosen over me - abandonment. I struggled with this for years, and couldn’t work out why. You have a head start, you know the root cause of your anxiety. What will help is viewing the part of yourself that reacts as the inner child. This child…	/r/askTRP	18/11/19 07:27 AM
4	How do you pick yourself back up? Haha man, taking IDGAF to the next level!	/r/askTRP	17/11/19 08:06 PM
2	Anyone here started on antidepressants and was able to stop later? This is exactly my experience too. On for 6 months. Withdrawal for 2-3 but felt much better after I’d put the time in whilst on them to sort my head out.	/r/askTRP	17/11/19 08:02 PM
3	Female supervisors/bosses They can be equally as smart, but their drive and determination fluctuates way more on average in my experience. They’ve also been very unreliable and are a bit Jekyll and Hyde day to day...	/r/askTRP	17/11/19 08:01 PM
1	How to bounce back from an embarrassing moment with about an 8 chick? You made it worse by trying to explain. Laugh it off. These things happen. There’ll be other girls.	/r/askTRP	17/11/19 07:58 PM
40	“Your sister looks so good, what happened to you?” Is this a shit test? Probably. Good answer. Now go focus on less granular shit, your time is more important than that.	/r/askTRP	17/11/19 07:56 PM
9	How do you pick yourself back up? Great comment. It should be noted that there’s a distinction here between letting go (the flushing) and suppressing (pretending you didn’t shit). One will truly allow you to move forwards, the other will fester until you can’t ignore the stink any longer. In order to let go you must embrace what you have done by owning it. This means accepting all those cringe-inducing or disappointing moments as part of you/your history. Sure it sounds corny, but only by accepting yourself as you are do you giv…	/r/askTRP	17/11/19 07:53 PM
1	ex LTR causing problems ignore it. She’s trying to get in your head by doing things she knows would upset you... does that sound like the actions of someone who has power over you/their shit together? Getting a rise out of you/back at you is a power grab. If you’re hurt, she feels she is better than you and doesn’t have to deal with whatever shitty things she feels about herself. You’d be amazed at how much girls can’t stand to be ignored/nexted.	/r/askTRP	12/10/19 07:16 AM
1	Having a hard time being assertive with women, could behaving like an asshole help me? It is a journey for all of us. A 1% improvement everyday in who we are soon brings serious change. Best of luck.	/r/askTRP	10/10/19 07:01 PM
2	Am I orbiting here? It's win-win. He either fucks her, or saves himself a ton of time and effort if he were to find out it's not going to happen.	/r/askTRP	10/10/19 01:59 PM
2	Having a hard time being assertive with women, could behaving like an asshole help me? You've got it all backwards. Being good/successful with women doesn't make you Red Pill. Being Red Pill however will likely make you good (or better) with women. Focus on yourself first... not these micro-interactions. Right now, they do not matter. Who are you at your core? What are your values? How do you wish to present yourself to the world? What is your view of the world? Confidence and assertiveness will come in time. When you feel you are the man you want to be, then you will feel far mor…	/r/askTRP	10/10/19 01:54 PM
1	TRP is finally about to be banned on reddit The Red Pill changed my life. I finally took responsibility for the state of my relationships, and as such and now in a loving and nurturing long-term relationship with a stunning woman (with a young baby too). It made me want to be a better person, and as a result I attracted a better partner and am living a life I am very content with (as is my partner). If TRP damaged your life, I'd argue that you'd misunderstood its core concept of taking ultimate responsibility for what you'd like out of yo…	/r/ExRedPill	10/10/19 01:42 PM
3	Affection Affection won’t make her want to have sex with you. Sex for women is most often a subconscious or conscious trade to keep a men invested/around. When they’re genuinely attracted to you (you look great, high status, someone they’re afraid of losing) they’ll find you more arousing and will desire you. They both love and hate that they could be replaced etc. When you’re the safe, dull and, predictable husband who has no options, this inner spark is diminished and subsequently the only sex you’ll ge…	/r/MarriedRedPill	08/10/19 01:24 PM
3	[Field Report] From nothing to something in 1 year Amazing job, man. Your progress is inspiring. A word of caution on viewing our past selves... be careful not to hold a toxic view of the blue pilled you. I’ve made some great progress myself but occasionally fuck up because I’ve struggled not to loathe/hate who I once was. Like I’m always running from something I fear (which is being that guy again). Be sure to accept who you once were knowing that you did that best with what you had at the time. I appreciate this may sounds trivial, but it is c…	/r/TheRedPill	24/02/19 07:26 PM
1	I think discovering theredpill has made me worse. I think I’m self sabatoging my relationships. It's often part of the process. You've seen the matrix, and now you want to tell everyone you've seen it because you can't believe you've been living in such ignorance your whole life. I went total sperg for a few months after I found TRP - it was embarrassing in hindsight, but it soon passed and the teachings become internalised. You'll feel angry and resentful, but it will pass once you start to become the man you feel you can be.	/r/askTRP	09/01/19 02:06 PM
2	Weird question but... dog breeds. Yep, or a Golendoodle (Retriever x with Miniature (or Standard) Poodle). They're smaller, excellent temperaments, hypoallergenic, seriously smart and very non-needy. I have one and she is the shit. Easiest dog I've ever owned.	/r/askTRP	09/01/19 02:03 PM
3	Anxious about penis size Girls, for whatever reason, apparently often over-estimate the size of their lover's penis too.	/r/askTRP	09/01/19 01:56 PM
1	Anxious about penis size Penis size, like any other metric girls use to determine their attractiveness to a guy is important but not as significant as you likely think. The majority of sexual pleasure is derived from what goes on inside her head and how you handle them in bed. If they feel they're fucking a high-value, attractive, alpha 'catch' with an average dick, they'll enjoy that far more than fucking a low-value, boring, beta with a large dick. Your perceived value (social status, game, physical stature etc.) an…	/r/askTRP	09/01/19 01:54 PM
1	Should i tell my blind dates im short? Let them decide if they want to discount you or not. Do not do it for them. Assume they'll be attracted/interested, and if they're not, their loss...	/r/askTRP	28/08/18 12:47 PM
1	My gf exhibits inappropriate behavior around homosexual men It's not so much direct or indirect, it's more about Vasiliy's outcome independence. He sets the boundaries, and if they break them, the appropriate action is taken (dread, nexting etc.). Saying "I won't LTR a girl who does XYZ" has two very different meanings dependent on whether who is saying it has outcome independence or not. Vasiliy does, so it comes from a position of strength. If you're desperate to cling on to a girl, it comes across as mate-guarding and needy.	/r/askTRP	28/08/18 12:41 PM
28	I (32m) have just dealt a terrible blow to my relationship with my brother (29m) and I don’t know how to fix this... any advice? Case in point, bro... You need to develop stronger sense of self which will help these disagreements feel less personally insulting. You seem easy to anger, which typically points to feelings of insecurity (been there myself). If you can't shrug this kind of thing off then take a look at yourself to work out why you are rattled easily.	/r/askTRP	16/08/18 02:20 PM
1	My ex-girlfriend that I’ve got oneitis bad for is stringing me along. Finally gonna cut her off and could use some encouragement Hey man, FYI - if you need to link to a particular time within a video, add '&t=' and the minutes and seconds. In this case it'd be: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTEJiLvKOfQ&t=10m50s.	/r/askTRP	20/06/18 08:28 AM
57	She wants a break(abundance made it easier to let go) Pretty hilarious. I had an ex who branch-swung to a colleague of hers, and she pulled this same "I think we need a break" stunt just beforehand. I did the same as you, said I don't do 'breaks' and said it would be great for both of us to move on. 18 months later and she still tries to contact me asking what she can do to get back together... AWALT, huh?!	/r/askTRP	17/05/18 12:44 PM
1	White knight saving one of my plates? Well she clearly doesn't have much respect for you, so I would next her. Who gives a fuck about that guy.	/r/askTRP	25/04/18 08:36 AM
2	Mate Guarding - Is it always wrong? Fucking anxious attachment, it's a bitch. Working through it myself and steadily improving; it takes time but it's possible to get past it.	/r/askTRP	19/04/18 01:46 PM
7	Dance partner's bf is after me, what to do? The last thing this guy is, is macho. He is a pussy, and he's projecting his jealousy/insecurity on to you because it's easier than facing the fact he has inadequacy issues.	/r/askTRP	19/04/18 09:10 AM
1	Showing affection? Women lap up affection, and it's fine to express it long term IF it's done in a none-needy way. When I say none-needy, I mean that you're essentially conveying that you feel something for them too, but if they fuck it up you'll be happy to move on. Neediness is what kills attraction most of all; not affection.	/r/askTRP	16/04/18 03:12 PM
2	Why do girls open me with closed body language such as crossed arms Theoretically... If they are approaching you, that puts them in a 'vulnerable' position, so they're likely subconsciously protecting themselves against that vulnerability through defensive body language. Think about how you carry yourself when you approach. If you're under-confident (but do it anyway), you might catch yourself stooping, crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact etc. It's self-preservation in action.	/r/askTRP	16/04/18 03:08 PM
43	[FR] She'll Cheat if the Time is Right, and You're Not Exactly. My previous LTR ended in 2016 due to my ex cheating (she didn't physically do anything, but she was lining it up with a guy we both worked with). That break up, and the re-writing of our history that proceeded it, were what brought me to the Red Pill. I was absolutely incredulous how she 'remembered' everything so differently to what actually happened. So much so that I was labelled as 'emotionally abusive', a 'gaslighter', 'controlling' etc... She worked the 'I had no choice' rhetoric …	/r/TheRedPill	16/04/18 02:55 PM
145	[FR] She'll Cheat if the Time is Right, and You're Not Yeah sounds about right. They really do go on how they feel 'in the moment'. I was AWALT'd by my LTR the other day. When we got together she told me I was the first person to sleep with her since her ex, of 4 months prior. She slipped up the other day by alluding to a one night stand. I called her on it (in a teasing way) and apparently "You are the first person I slept with since my ex. The one night stand I had when I was drunk didn't count. There was no emotional connection." I don't give a s…	/r/TheRedPill	16/04/18 01:48 PM
3	Guys who intimidate women with their persona/looks, how would you describe your everyday interactions with women? It is typically avoidant or submissive behaviour. In your case, if they make eye contact briefly initially and then look away (but then look at you again when they pass) it sounds like submission.	/r/askTRP	27/03/18 06:47 AM
3	Another attractive girl asking for number when the girlfriend is present ...or it could say "I'm not needy and desperate for attention from any hot girl who looks my way, so I'll pass." If anything, turning it down improves status as it implies you don't need it. I've never understood this (misinterpreted) RP fallacy that it's alright for men to fuck about with others, but expect their GFs (not plates) to be alright with it/behave legit themselves.	/r/askTRP	21/03/18 03:30 PM
3	What really made the change for you? That you cannot negotiate desire. Might seem somewhat obscure, but it woke me up to to fact that I want the best for myself, or nothing. I won't accept anything less than "Fuck Yeah!" from a woman these days and that keeps my mind free to focus on what I want out of my life.	/r/askTRP	08/03/18 11:14 AM
2	What are some of your hobbies? Mixed Martial Arts, BJJ, Boxing etc. are pretty popular around here and are great for improving social circles. I play Guitar (which is somewhat solo, but music is always a good conversation piece) and football (soccer, as I'm in the UK) on a weekday evening. Aside from the above... hiking/trekking, indoor (or outdoor) climbing, dance classes, yoga...	/r/askTRP	05/03/18 05:23 PM
2	When a plate keeps asking if you’ve been in love ? The right answer in my view. Demonstrates being comfortable with who you are and what you want.	/r/askTRP	05/03/18 05:18 PM
5	Did i took dread too far? and how to confort her after dread? Keep doing what you’re doing until you get your desired results. This is a key point. Balancing dread and comfort is somewhat of an art. You go too far one way or the other and you're likely to fall foul of an outcome you weren't expecting. You need to establish what the desired outcome is and (occasionally) keep it in check. OP is doing great tbh, but I've seen girls dreaded to the point where they just seek something elsewhere. Fine for plates, but may not be the desired outcome for an LTR.	/r/askTRP	05/03/18 05:16 PM
4	Is it normal to find yourself sometimes getting in setbacks? Does it ever happen to you guys to have some periods of regression? In my opinion, TRP opens up a whole new 'game' for life. It's easier in many ways, but harder in others. The low-level shit becomes simpler, you worry about little things less, you're generally more self-assured and avoid drama... The side-effect of this is opening your eyes to what it takes to reach your potential as a man. It takes dedication, effort and discipline - something many of us are in denial about during our BluePill days. TRP takes energy (until it becomes 'who you are'). Until then…	/r/askTRP	05/03/18 05:09 PM
10	GF tried to get in my phone. Best way to proceed? You're right, it could be either. In my BluePill days, I was insecure about who my LTR at the time was talking to (no-one of note, it seems), but that paranoia made me occasionally check her phone. It was an extremely weak mindset, and one I'm glad to be rid of. I agree it could be projection, but in my experience it's just as likely to be insecurity.	/r/askTRP	02/03/18 09:24 AM
1	Yesterday I lost frame for the first time Like anything, it's just practice. You'll get better at it - you already know what to look for next time. Good luck with it.	/r/askTRP	27/02/18 12:50 PM
7	How to upgrade plate to girlfriend? She should be coming to you about that, not you to her. If you are seeking it from her then you are likely more emotionally invested. That will not work in your favour in the long run. Let her do the work to LTR you - if you approach it the other way round you'll be in her frame/handing all power away (thus lowering attraction, interest etc.).	/r/askTRP	27/02/18 09:27 AM
9	How do I stop becoming emotionally invested in women? Some emotional investment is fine (you're human, not a robot). It's generally considered wise to be LESS invested than they are though as that conveys all sorts of positive things (value, drive, options etc.). If it happens too quickly and is beyond your control, you likely lack an abundance mentality, which would help you see that they're just another fish in a very big pond.	/r/askTRP	27/02/18 09:21 AM
5	Yesterday I lost frame for the first time It happens on occasion. You cannot be bulletproof 100% of the time. Ignore it and continue as you were. Just don't get dragged into the same argument again. If your frame was strong up until this point things will recover relatively smoothly.	/r/askTRP	27/02/18 09:19 AM
0	1 year long ltr, girl says if i dont give her attention things will happen... You've certainly captured your essence in your username.	/r/askTRP	26/02/18 10:10 PM
2	1 year long ltr, girl says if i dont give her attention things will happen... Good insight. Thanks for the response	/r/askTRP	26/02/18 10:04 PM
1	1 year long ltr, girl says if i dont give her attention things will happen... Context, basically. This is an LTR (well, an LDR as found out afterwards). In a typical LTR situation, in my experience, this is a cry for more comfort and providing 'some' of that comfort may settle things... but it has to be done in a smart manner otherwise it will look weak I guess. With plates I would completely agree that less attention is best. LTRs tend to work a little differently, hence my response. I don't think it matters anyway... as it's an LDR she's likely looking to branch swing a…	/r/askTRP	26/02/18 08:47 PM
-1	1 year long ltr, girl says if i dont give her attention things will happen... The purpose of shit testing is to confirm the value/frame of the individual being tested. What does she gain in this instance by this shit test? To me, this screams insecurity from her and she's overtly communicating that to him, I.e. seeking comfort (not suggesting it's 'right' however). What's your angle on it? Perhaps there's something I'm not seeing here... I'm open to other ways of looking at it.	/r/askTRP	26/02/18 08:42 PM
-3	1 year long ltr, girl says if i dont give her attention things will happen... More of a comfort test than a shit test this one. I would personally use the standard A&A approach, but demonstrate a bit more attention through my actions. DO NOT directly acknowledge and/or apologise - that'd be akin to rewarding her for bad behaviour (i.e. she'll learn that if she calls, you'll come running). She's using the threat of other guys to prompt a response from you (hence vagueness). Play this off like you don't give a shit, but up the attention a little bit anyway. If after doing t…	/r/askTRP	26/02/18 03:22 PM
3	I think she’s looking for validation? 'Just ignore or text her “bring some wine over and we can figure it out ;)” or something more clever and then f close.' Exactly right. If she doesn't set something up with you this time, I would suggest nexting. There are better uses of your time than attention whores.	/r/askTRP	26/02/18 12:56 PM
3	Need a reason to take her home Exactly this. What you say is somewhat irrelevant. If they're interested, they'll agree to practically any reason for an invite back to yours.	/r/askTRP	26/02/18 12:53 PM
3	Going to have my first FWB experience. Need tips. You will likely feel more emotional investment than you anticipate (given this is relatively new to you). You can passively manage it (back off a bit) or actively (by spending more time internalising abundance mentality).	/r/askTRP	26/02/18 12:43 PM
5	Girl flake on three days before second date (no offer of reschedule) Leave it. What you say cannot add to this situation, it can only take away. If she's keen to reschedule, she will contact you. If she's not keen and you contact her, you will just look needy with the same outcome. If she's 50/50 and you contact her, looking needy will likely put her off. If she's 50/50 and you don't contact her, it will have a net-positive effect on attraction.	/r/askTRP	26/02/18 12:39 PM
8	Why do bitches talk about their sexual past? You can help yourself though, man. It starts with the realisation that you can be worth more than this shit. It takes time and effort, but it can be done.	/r/askTRP	23/02/18 11:37 AM
7	Why do bitches talk about their sexual past? Legit username I see...	/r/askTRP	23/02/18 11:32 AM
2	A question for the biological drive of men and women Nice post. For reference, the correct term is 'deep-seated' rather than seeded.	/r/askTRP	23/02/18 07:49 AM
1	So what does it mean when a girl goes right out of her way to be nice to you (in a non-sexual way)? Girls who want sex are typically passive about it (as opposed to actively starting it). They put themselves in a position where you can make a move. If she's just being nice, but not leaving a few lingering pauses, holding eye contact, leaning in etc. then she's probably after something. She could have a hero complex... boosting her own ego by 'rescuing' someone who couldn't rescue themselves.	/r/askTRP	15/02/18 07:29 PM
3	Is my chance fading by the second? Girl, I got a number from texts, but haven't replied. She was way out of my league though! Good book. Reading through that myself.	/r/askTRP	12/02/18 05:14 PM
1	Is my girlfriend crazy? Excellent analogy.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 09:29 PM
1	Should I respond with silence? "Bye", or what personally go with... nothing. Not worth your time	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 09:26 PM
2	How do you exclude emotions from decision making process. Work out whether you want the reality, or your idealised version of that reality. We often develop feelings for 'what could be' rather than 'what is', which is why the loss potential feels so significant.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 09:23 PM
5	How to apologize? Ease up on the dickish behaviour. Actions > words, and women will read far more into your actions than your words anyway.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 09:20 PM
3	Found girl I've been dating for a couple of months on Tinder. No more LTR potential? Same boat as you mate, but don't worry about it. 1. Girls use these apps for validation, most of the time they have no intention of even dating anyone. 2. You haven't agreed exclusivity, so she has no reason to not be on Tinder. 3. Worst case, she's seeing other people... if so, on to the next one (if you don't want to keep her as a plate). No big deal.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 09:18 PM
1	When A&A Fails. What then? Agree and Amplify.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 09:15 PM
4	Common thing girls say to me "haha you're a stranger i don't wanna come to your house. what if you're a rapist lmaoo" This. I've had the same shit, tbf it's sensible on their part and trying to 'logic' against it actually validated their concerns ("he seems desperate/is too invested"). Meet in person first time, escalate/ build rapport. Second date give your place a shot.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 05:59 PM
4	I don't feel like I used to. Redpill burrows through you into your core, and eventually you start to feel a form of happy detachment from emotion - almost like you can experience them in ways that you want. Sounds like you've started to internalize it, essentially.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 05:14 PM
2	question about AWALT Too many variables to ever have any guarantees. You're coming at it from the bluepill mindset; try to focus on having enough of a life outside any girl, so that if they did ever cheat you're mentally and physically able to brush yourself off and continue enjoying life.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 05:12 PM
2	What's my BF %? I'd say a little lower than that, more around the 18% mark. OP, workout abs as part of your routine but you don't need to focus on them specifically. Maintain a 20% calorie deficit, keep protein high (at least 1g per 1lb of body weight) and keep lifting heavy.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 05:10 PM
2	Common thing girls say to me "haha you're a stranger i don't wanna come to your house. what if you're a rapist lmaoo" Is this for a first meet?	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 05:07 PM
3	what is TRP's philosophy on revenge? Waste of time.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 03:54 PM
24	Should I even buy her a Valentine's day gift? Does she usually go to movies "on her own"?	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 03:51 PM
1	where can I find more information on managing LTR? Specifically on balancing alpha/beta traits. Married RedPill sub, as has been mentioned. Don't think of alpha and beta as specific traits as such. Think of them as life approaches. Alpha is fun, dominant, clear-headed, with purpose, successful etc. Beta is comfort, security, routine, affection. Neither is inherently good nor bad, but balance is critical. Think about the decisions you make and what kind outcome are they creating. For example, you decide that you want to be spontaneous and go away for a weekend (adventure, leadership), that'…	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 03:46 PM
2	Is Feminism just a shittest that American society has failed? Perhaps I am enjoying the decline so to speak, but I find it quite amusing when I'm with various different women and they're all bitching how most men "just don't get it"... In this environment, giving women tingles is so much easier because there's less "quality" available to them now. Hilarious when you consider that they are systematically destroying the masculine traits they are drawn to.	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 03:34 PM
3	How to cope with cognitive dissonance Judgement is essentially entering someone else's frame... in that you are hanging around whilst being negatively impacted by someone else's behaviours (rationalising them). The Redpill objective in this case would be to not choose a woman who was "meh" with you in bed. If you fail at that, then the next pill to swallow is accepting womens' nature and walking away. Dealing with dissonance is a waste of time. It's like trying to argue that the sky isn't blue... haven't you got better things to do?…	/r/askTRP	11/02/18 03:30 PM
3	Should I let this girl come over? She might be DTF, but I'd say she's testing your boundaries. You re-arranged once (fine), but if she flakes again you need to soft-next. As usual, actions > words. Ignore what she says and watch what she does.	/r/askTRP	08/02/18 03:56 PM
3	How to feel better while not lean/fit (yet) Read a book called 'The Slight Edge' - it explains the concept of steady progression towards any goal. Your self-esteem is impacted because you're comparing yourself now, to your ideal. Your ideal needs to exist as a goal/benchmark, but that doesn't mean your current form is unworthy of enjoying life. Consider how every action you take is 'doing your future-self a favour'. i.e. you're not lifting for the man you are today, you're lifting for the man you'll be tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, you'l…	/r/askTRP	08/02/18 10:43 AM
4	Lecture: pure, absolute shit or some truth? It's interesting, but the study is based on reported attractiveness, not actual objective behaviours. What women say they want and what they respond to are often very different. Also, with regards to long-term strategies, women seek more beta than alpha traits. Dominance is defined as an alpha trait, therefore it's hardly surprising that dominance is considered less of a factor in long-term attractiveness.	/r/askTRP	08/02/18 10:26 AM
1	How long do you spend in the gym?/Critique my new workout schedule Looks good. See how you go with rest days; I find 3-4 full days of rest per body part is optimal for me - you may recover faster or slower. I'd recommend you take your measurements weekly also, and plot them. Tangible changes in the mirror take time and for me regular measurements help keep me focused.	/r/askTRP	06/02/18 09:41 AM
3	I just got my marriage annulled after she nuked 11yrs and 6 weeks of marriage. Lost still. You're doing alright, it just takes some time to get over (which is normal, you're human). One bit of advice that I would have found useful when I split with my ex-LTR of 8 years would be that it's alright to feel like shit for being rejected, and pretending you don't give a shit will not work. Once I accepted that it fucking hurt to be cheated on by someone I gave so much to, I was able to start processing why I was so dependent on her validation etc. The RedPill breaks us down to nothing and b…	/r/askTRP	06/02/18 09:37 AM
5	Help I think my partner might be hiding something You don't ask a question like that unless you intend to cheat, or have already cheated. If she hasn't cheated, she's scouting where you boundaries are (i.e. how much can I get away with before he'd dump me), and if she has cheated, she's (clumsily) working out the best way to handle it. Personally, I'd suggest a next - trust your gut.	/r/askTRP	06/02/18 09:18 AM
1	LTR with a girl who cheated before? You are correct. I was just citing patterns you'd often see, but there is definitely not a formula.	/r/askTRP	06/02/18 09:08 AM
3	Kept a “plate” at a distance. Went on a break, found out she got railed by two rando’s at a party. Now, I’m disgusted but she wants to keep fucking. Your ego took a hit as she demonstrated you were 'easily' replaceable. This is about you, and the validation you receive from plates (subconsciously I suspect). Logically you know AWALT, but logic can't always dictate how you feel - the RedPill is a bitter pill to swallow and takes time.	/r/askTRP	05/02/18 04:44 PM
16	LTR with a girl who cheated before? What is worth more to you... Self-preservation against someone who has a history of cheating (and may or may not do it again), or the good times with someone you consider a 10? All relationships come to an end eventually; if we stopped having relationships with women with the potential to cheat then we'll run out of women. AWALT etc. EDIT: I should add that in my experience, women tend to cheat during the beta-isation of their partner. They give a shit-ton of subtle clues when their attraction i…	/r/askTRP	05/02/18 04:24 PM
2	What should be thought about girls with guy best friends? Nope. At best she's an attention whore. At worst she would use the guy as leverage over you to ensure your behaviour is controlled. Avoid.	/r/askTRP	28/01/18 12:05 PM
2	When you can’t understand where you are wrong Everything you've written is suggestive that you aren't yet inwardly the person you're outwardly conveying. Girls are very good at detecting false-confidence (for lack of a better expression) and there's likely some incongruence they're picking up on. Slow it down, you've round at Redpill at 18... you've got time to refine yourself	/r/askTRP	28/01/18 12:02 PM
2	What are the best ways to prove oneself? Sounds like your problem is that you aren't convinced about internal validation yet and still need to be externally validated - completely understandable, it takes time to evolve your mindset. My advice would be to work on being less fixated with who you were and more focused on who you want to become. You're trying to put distance between your current and past self, and in my experience if you're impatient, it can be frustrating. Give yourself a break from how lame you feel your past self was, …	/r/askTRP	28/01/18 11:59 AM
1	Why when i act very vulgar, and give NO shits does WHATEVER i do always work with women? You're conveying non-neediness, assertiveness, and outcome independence. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Your confidence implies to the women that you can handle your shit, and that gives them the tingles!	/r/askTRP	28/01/18 11:52 AM
0	Complimenting girls It's fine to compliment them, but do it sparingly, and ensure your actions leave room for a little bit of "what does he really think?". Complimenting too much sub-communicates an exchange. It says "If I make you feel good about yourself, I hope you'll have sex with me" - it comes across as needy and insincere. Don't be needy. If I ever compliment a girl, it's conveyed more as an observation rather than a demonstration of liking her.	/r/askTRP	28/01/18 11:41 AM
1	Why am i like this and how the fuck do i change myself... Try reading a book called 'The Slight Edge'... it changed my perspective on progression with everything.	/r/askTRP	27/01/18 12:27 PM
113	Made this comment on an Aziz Ansari thread in 2X! You’ll never guess what happened next! Oh yeah the thread didn’t go their way so they ended up removing it instead of simply locking it. If you wrestle with pigs, you're gonna get covered in shit. Save yourself the time/effort and don't bother posting there in the future; you won't change their minds.	/r/TheRedPill	17/01/18 01:16 PM
1	Can't connect during sex I suffer from this too, when I'm with a girl I care about to any degree, I can't stay hard. I personally attribute it to my previous girlfriend (Blue Pill days of course) not being interested in sex, and me internalising that rejection as not being attractive enough. Less vulnerability = better disassociation during sex = less giving a shit.	/r/askTRP	16/01/18 01:19 PM
4	Compulsion to check social media.... bunny_throwaway's got it down. I'd also think about scheduling - isolating periods of time where social media is a focus to achieve what you need to (in relation to your earnings etc.). Outside of those times, focus on other constructive things to do. Isolating your focus will help you feel more productive.	/r/askTRP	15/01/18 05:27 PM
4	Flaked on the first meet up. Giving the benefit of the doubt is win-win. It avoids that internal "fuck this bitch!" reaction which is negative for you, ensures you aren't seen like a child in her eyes (by emotionally over-reacting), and you leave the door open for her to make contact in the future (demonstrating you are a priority). If she doesn't bother following up, or flakes more than once, then you next.	/r/askTRP	15/01/18 05:24 PM
4	Flaked on the first meet up. In these situations, you need to think about what is being sub-communicated by what you say, and how you act. Offering too much information, being petty, moody etc. tells a girl that you are easily rattled. In their minds it's "If he gets this frustrated by this, how will he deal with something bigger." Our power is our frame. You must lead, and you lead by demonstrating that you are in control of your life, and it's up to her if she wants to join for the ride. If not, well, her loss.	/r/askTRP	15/01/18 05:20 PM
2	Uk I’m ugly? Virgin. How can I improve? You look fine/good in all of them. Your comment above however (the one about your reflection making you cry) shows that nothing we say will change your mind. You'd be surprised about how much self-perception changes what your mind sees. As other guys have said, lift, take care of yourself etc. you'll feel better for it. You are not ugly.	/r/askTRP	15/01/18 11:59 AM
7	Uk I’m ugly? Virgin. How can I improve? No, you are not ugly at all. Your problem is your attitude towards yourself is insidiously negative. Judging by your post history you can't possibly fathom why someone would ever find you attractive. There might be ugly aspects about you, but they're your view of yourself and the world around you, as opposed to your facial aesthetics.	/r/askTRP	15/01/18 11:38 AM
1	What happens in a girl's mind when you say "I love you" I agree with this. The context of most answers on here is from our male perspective (i.e. when we say something we are typically expressing it in a way we view it as an 'objective' truth). If you approach it the female way and be fluid, like you were, it really gets them going. Mixed signals (and/or 'dread') is an invaluable tool within LTRs, and giving women that rollercoaster of emotions keeps them interested and excited.	/r/askTRP	15/01/18 11:35 AM
1	Delusional ex. What's going on here? Any reaction other than indifference = lose. I see where you're coming from (because you know why she's doing it, and want to make that point that you spot her game), but to reach the next level you must ignore it. It's not worth your time.	/r/TheRedPill	08/01/18 04:43 PM
34	Living with a Man who is being Robbed by his Wife. If anything, these guys serve as a powerful reminder that it's easy to 'make your bed' by being weak and succumbing to this manipulation. TRP supports those who are willing to help themselves. Every time I read a story like this I am just glad to have swallowed the pill!	/r/TheRedPill	08/01/18 11:26 AM
1	Standards too high? Yeah fair enough man. Gotta keep raising your game until you get them then.	/r/askTRP	04/01/18 02:02 PM
1	Standards too high? Work out why they're the standard that you set for yourself. Are you attracted to them because they're seriously hot, or is it because you associate greater validation of yourself if you get attraction from 'higher quality' girls? We always want to bang the hottest girls around, but if the main driving force is validation, you'll never feel happy with what you get (or the moment you get a girl like that, you'll go into scarcity mode!).	/r/askTRP	04/01/18 01:46 PM