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View 0 posts and 36 comments by TheSmartLawGroup on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Based on that detail, it might not have been a pre-planned act. It is possible that the therapist did not solicit that email. If that is true, about all the therapist could do is provide the space for your wife to read it which would not be unusual, whether or not the email was provided in advance. It is common for a spouse to write out what they want to say in advance to make sure they say what they feel needs to be said. In that case, I would not blame the therapist. Now, I would add, once thi…
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 02:05 PM
2

Unless that therapist established guidelines or boundaries allowing contact outside of your therapy sessions, you got blindsided and you need to find another couples therapist and/or get your own. How can anyone possibly trust a therapist that is working with the other spouse outside of the actual sessions?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 11:23 AM
2

Just make sure that you are in a "one-party" state where you can record any conversation you are a participant in without notice to the other person. Michigan is a "one-party" state, and I regularly advise clients to record. You cannot "plant" a recording device to record when you are not there. If it is a "two-party" state, you have to have the consent of the other party to record them and that could create an issue for you legally, not to mention not being able to use the recording. Anyone rea…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 12:08 AM
1

No, not by any specific law. Either parent can ask for the house. A judge could consider the argument and award the house to one parent, but the parent keeping the house would still need to pay the other person their share of the equity in the home. If they can't pay that share, or there is no other property to offset that interest, then the property would most likely be sold. In many instances, both parents ask for the house arguing that it would maintain consistency for the children. If there …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 11:59 PM
1

LOCAL legal advice is key. In Michigan, no one loses any rights to the house because they left. Marital property is marital property. Again, in Michigan, there is no such thing as "abandoning" a home. "Abandonment" is a term relating to "fault" in a divorce in some states, but not Michigan as a "no-fault divorce" state.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 04:35 PM
13

All of the other responses appear to be accurate. You need to talk to an attorney to know what you can do in your state. Also, the longer you wait, the more difficult it could be to get back in. In Michigan, you can "break in" to your own home and/or get a locksmith to get in and change the locks (give her a new key). If you choose either of those, it is the safest course to contact the police in advance to let them know what is going on. Sometimes, they will give you an escort. However, you nee…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 08:34 PM
3

Nicely shared, but remember that we are our own worst critics. Do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy, but what you think are flaws are mostly unnoticed and, more importantly, do not matter.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 06:15 PM
4

Sanity is important, so ultimately you need to protect yourself. You don't give any details about your divorce so it is impossible to know what you need to consider. Hopefully, you have an attorney to discuss this issue and go over the pros and cons, and then make a considered and intentional decision. Staying just to stay serves no purpose. But sometimes, staying in the house gives you a "card" to play as to the division of the home, or on custody issues. Whatever you do, make an informed decis…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 11:51 PM
2

That's good that it worked out for you. It can be very dangerous for both sides to be in the same home while a case in pending. As you described, you are familiar with the law, but the non-informed need to make sure that they can do it in their state. In a one-party state, you can record any conversation without the other side knowing, as long as you are a participant in that conversation. In a two-party state, you cannot record without the other party's consent, so it requires telling them they…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 02:28 PM
2

Be careful with this. Yes, do your own homework, but you don't know what you don't know and the internet/AI is not a replacement for legal experience. Mediators are not there to protect you. Their role is not to advocate anyones position. Their role is to get everyone to reach an agreement. They usually focus on being "fair", but they are not going to advocate for you or fully advise you as to what your rights are in your case, or uncover issues that are not presented to them. Mediators are usua…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 06:55 PM
2

There is too much at stake to not have an attorney who understands the process and will make sure you are protected. Yes, it costs money. So does insurance. Insurance is a waste of money... until you need it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 01:56 PM
2

Same to you! Maintain your sanity as best you can.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 05:30 PM
6

Don't make the kids a messenger. They do not need to be burdened with any parent issues. Also, they are going to read that notebook and they do not need to see any such messages. It will be used as a tool against you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 07:36 PM
8

YOU agreed to the schedule. SHE agreed to the schedule. THAT is the schedule. She doesn't get to do do-overs because she changed her mind or it isn't convenient for her now. You can respectfully say, "no, thank you" and, if you want, "that doesn't work for me". Simple boundaries. Also, you need certainty and the kids need certainty - every year. You don't want to open the door for having this headache at every holiday. If she knows you will always adjust the schedule, she will do it regularly. P…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 07:33 PM
1

You are not divorced until a judge signs the court order saying you are divorced. That's usually the same day, but sometimes it takes another day or two until it gets signed and properly filed with the court. Many people confuse the final hearing with the actual divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 01:20 PM
7

There is no bad answer for you. The key thing is to maintain your peace of mind and mental health. Do whatever feels right. Do not do anything that makes you feel bad. You can replace your son's stuff and your stuff. Here in Michigan, the return of that stuff would be part of the final Judgment of Divorce, which can include the logistics of when it is picked up. If there are attorneys involved, this should be a simple resolution. Also, your therapist should be able to help you with those questio…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 12:31 PM
1

It doesn't matter how it looks. It looks like you are protecting yourself. In the situation you described, there is no downside.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 02:33 PM
1

Rip the bandaid off. Just move, even if you don't file for divorce that day. Remove the abuser from your life and move on. I don't see any downside with what you described. No assets, no kids, no debt - there's nothing to fight about. Take action. Once you are out, you will wonder why you didn't leave earlier.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/25 02:09 PM
1

I get it. I don't know what options you might have, but it could be worth it to explore getting friends or family to take the kids for a weekend per month. I believe you do need that time to recharge. You get a break from the kids and they get a break from you. I think you will find that it will recharge everyone and it can be an adventure, also. I hope you have that kind of option.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 03:13 PM
2

Congratulations to you for taking on that responsibility of 4 kids. I can't imagine being there (I had 2). Being a single parent of one is one of the hardest jobs there is. Not to parse your words, but don't view it as being "trapped" (I don't think you really meant it that way). View it as an opportunity. One purpose is to be a leader for your children so they find their purpose. Lead them to things that interest you and nurture their interest. If they find something else, support them in that …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 12:35 PM
2

One way to discover who you are, is to go back to the beginning and recreate yourself. Who were you before the marriage? Go all the way back to when you were a kid. What did you like then? What were your good choices? What do you wish you would have done? If you went to college, what did you study? What would you like to study? Was there a path not taken? Explore it. The same applies to your work or your career. You have a chance to recreate yourself, or at least explore the paths you did not ta…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 12:19 PM
1

I think we are living in uncertain times and people are questioning everything, even if they have no immediate "intent". We also live in an information age where it is getting easier and easier to search for something just out of curiosity. Or, like the other post said, maybe it's the Kardashian effect. I don't think divorce rates (or filings) have spiked, but we might not know that until we get the statistics in a year.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 12:14 PM
4

As a follow up to my first comment, you deserve more than crumbs. Do not forget that. You are entitled to be happy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 01:11 PM
2

You are not "crazy". People change. Everyone goes through different stages in their lives and sometimes those changes don't match up to the changes in their partners. There are many studies, articles and even books written about this. Sometimes you can work through it, and sometimes you can't. Look up Esther Perel. She is a psychotherapist and has many great perspectives on how we all change, and what people can do about it. This might be helpful for you. I would be careful about any "experiment…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 01:09 PM
5

Sadly, the "celebration" of 50% is that you didn't "lose" in that "zero-sum game" called "parenting time". Most parents don't realize what they have until it is gone and they have no control over their contact with their kids for that period of time. When you are living in the same home as the mother, everyone comes and goes as they please. Nobody is "measuring" time. How many times have we as fathers had our alone time? How many times have the kids had their alone time? But during that time whe…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 11:50 AM
1

Try to find out how she found your account. If she "hacked" your computer or phone without your permission, that is a crime is some (most) states. Discuss this with your attorney. Most of what I have seen in Reddit would never be useful in any court. IMHO, any compentent attorney would be able to explain away any post, if needed, and it would probably include your position on the facts that would not help the other side. It can also make the other side look weak if all they have are social media…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 03:07 PM
2

Dare I say, you did it because it was the right thing for you and them at that time, and it's still the right thing. No doubt it is terrible to have a vindictive mother that interferes and exerts more influence on the kids. It still doesn't change what is right. Sometimes sitting quietly in the back is the loudest message you can send. That message may be the best gift you can give them. Hopefully, you will have the opportunity to continue to be a part of their lives in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 01:12 PM
1

Hopefully, bio-dad appreciates your care and attention for his daughters (if he is around). If it is an option, don't forget about the grandparents. That can be more complicated, but grandparents can also be a great "resource" for supporting your daughters.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 01:05 PM
2

You've done the right thing with them in the past. You need to continue to do the right thing with them in the future. They are still kids and they are your family. Unfortunately, legally you have no control, but you can still be a role model, you can still support them emotionally from afar. They need to know you are there if they need you. They know what is going on with their mother and even though they might not be able to have as much contact with you as they might want because of their mot…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 01:01 PM
3

If you are having that many arguments that is causing that much anxiety, that is not a healthy relationship. I believe you are reacting to your past bad experiences and your body, and mind, are telling you to get out of that relationship. If your new partner does not have the ability to meet your needs, don't be afraid to move on. Even if you believe your reaction is not healthy, it doesn't sound like she is helping. With or without her, therapy is a great options to address any and all issue yo…
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 11:05 PM
2

Personally, I like writing in the morning to clear my brain. Exercise follows.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 06:51 PM
3

I feel weird saying this here, but if this is affecting you, stop. I assure you that you are not missing anything. One of the best ways to protect your mental health is to shut off social media. Sometimes it helps to shut off the news, also. Unfortunately, it's just too easy to keep these diversions on to try to avoid your own issues. Focus on what makes you happy. You do not need to be mired in other people's problems. Social media is not designed to make you happy, it is designed to keep your …
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/25 06:49 PM
4

You are entitled to resent her with everything you have, but focus on your two kids that chose to live with you (which says a lot) and your youngest who needs you. What you are describing is a situation for your youngest to live with you more than just 50/50. It might be hard to see now, but you will be okay and let that be your "Northstar". That separation should protect you, even if she is reneging on the agreement. It would be helpful to find something in writing that can confirm that "agreem…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 08:43 PM
2

Let me start out by saying that I am a supporter of marriage, but not bad ones. If you know you are divorcing, do not invest anymore time or money into that marriage. You mention a 401k in another post and that will only continue to grow and you will wind up sharing it with the SAHM. Also, time is one of the most valuable assets that any person has and you are young and have too many good years ahead of you. In addition to the above, the longer you wait, the more responsibility the law may heap …
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 06:58 PM
4

There is no easy answer and you absolutely need to have an attorney to discuss your options and then make an informed plan. I don't know what the law is in your area, but you don't want to make a move until you know what the law is and you make a plan. You need to protect yourself as much as possible. There are so many questions that need to be answered. Are you buying or renting? If buying, is there any equity in your home. If she is a SAHM, what is the plan once the divorce is complete? In Mic…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 06:28 PM
2

Fair, not foul. If you are still in the middle of your case, you are absolutely right - stop the communication with her because she has a serious lack of self-awareness, and she will spin this against you at some point in the future. Communicate through your attorney for the simple reason that you cannot trust her. Everything needs to documented so that there is no misunderstanding about what was or was not said, or when it was said. Yes, this is going to cost more, but boundaries need to be set…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 02:35 PM
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