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The_Iron_Temple Archive

View 1 post and 200 comments by The_Iron_Temple on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
43

The_Iron_Temple/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/24 12:15 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

OYS #31 36, married 10y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 84.7kg (187lbs), ~15%bf (navy method) Current lifts: 5/3/1 BBB AMRAP sets. Bench - 77.5kg (171lbs) 11 Squat - 102.5kg (226lbs) 10 Deadlift - 115kg (254lbs) 9 OHP - 47.5kg (105lbs) 11 Lifting: Lifting is going well. I train consistently, 4 times a week - still doing 5/3/1 BBB. I was stalling with strength / rep progress in recent weeks and decided to deload to 85% of my estimated 1RM. I started a new cycle with lower weight last we…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/24 03:22 PM
4

Clearly, I texted too much. I didn't want to autistically go for meet-up logistics straight away though. That screams “You’re the prize. I ain’t got shit to do but wait on you forever.” Fuck, didn't even think much of it at the time but you're absolutely right. Something to bear in mind for the future, for sure. With that “closer”, there is no butthurt, you still indirectly state your claim and attraction to her, while you indirectly let her know that she may never see you again and you’re ok wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/24 11:01 PM
1

You referring to my feelz made me think, that’s all.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/24 06:16 AM
1

Okay, then make your title run today. If it is all an act at least choose to the play the part in it you want. Adaptation requires novel stress and challenge. Not sure I get the point you're trying to make. Can you elaborate? Or else commit oneself to the purgatory of the 🐹 This part is clear and I see where you're going with this. Maybe it is hamstering. I think I am trying not to lie to myself this time and to look at my progress objectively.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/24 08:05 PM
1

I sense a bit of sarcasm here. Regardless, at the end of the day it's something I will need to decide on and own. Doesn't seem to be such a bad idea though.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/24 07:58 PM
1

I think a timeline is helpful but don’t be captive to it. I’d suggest giving your all this summer. Sure, it's just something for me to avoid dragging it out indefinitely. I'm thinking six months is actually a long time so I will reassess again in September, after the summer. Be focused and purposeful about what you need to do to get where you want to be (primarily, FRAME). Consider doing OYS monthly during this time so as to be living it more and thinking / talking about it less. Clear. Monthly …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/24 07:53 PM
1

OYS #30 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 84.3kg (186lbs), ~15%bf (navy method) Current lifts: 5/3/1 BBB AMRAP sets. Bench - 95.0kg (209lbs) 4 Squat - 127.5kg (281lbs) 3 Deadlift - 147.5kg (325lbs) 3 OHP - 65.0kg (143lbs) 3 Lifting: I lifted 4 times, matching the required 5/3/1 reps on squat, deadlift and OHP. Bench press was a bit better, with one extra rep. I gained 0.3kg (0.7lbs). Weight is moving up as expected but I don’t seem to be getting much stronger. At the end o…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/24 03:21 PM
1

Fact is, you don't believe your existence and presence is value and that you are leeching by taking away their precious time. Agreed. Why do you have to choose? Why can't you have both? This is also an option, sure. In fact, it might be the best option for me at this stage. according to whom? is it according to you? who's frame are you in? According to society. I'm clearly in everyone else's frame here. Still, I try to ignore the feelings and just do what I want, despite social conditioning to t…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/24 08:30 AM
1

It's really not hard once you get out there. It definitely gets easier with time. Still, it's very context dependent I think. Stopping someone who might be in a hurry during the day is a lot harder than opening two chicks who are clearly out to socialise. The question remains "what do you want?" What are the difficult choices you are avoiding making? The difficult choice is whether I stay or go. I'm not satisfied with my life as it is and I'm not getting the value I want out of the relationship.…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/24 11:08 AM
5

OYS #29 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 84.0kg (185lbs), ~15%bf (navy method) Current lifts: 5/3/1 BBB AMRAP sets. Bench - 90.0kg (198lbs) 6 Squat - 120kg (265lbs) 5 Deadlift - 140kg (309lbs) 5 OHP - 60kg (132lbs) 5 Reading: Mystery Method Lifting: Last week was the first week of regular 5/3/1 BBB, with AMRAP sets. I lifted 4 times but struggled to push beyond the 5 reps on all compound lifts except for the bench press, where I managed to squeeze in one extra rep. Let’s …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/24 03:11 PM
1

Why the half-assed, shying away from challenge attitude Good question and your assessment is correct. I don’t really know why. I can certainly be slow sometimes, especially when encountering a challenge. I know I could make a lot more progress, yet I’m sitting there hamstering instead. STFU and do more. Is there something else going on that you aren’t mentioning? Not sure, maybe I checked out already? But this passive, defeatist attitude is lame AF. Agreed. Whichever way you are leaning or whate…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/24 04:00 PM
1

So you set two goals and failed on both? I did. How are you planning on making sure that doesn't happen again? I have no idea other than man up and try harder.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/24 03:39 PM
2

OYS #28 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 83.3kg (184lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 97.5kg (215lbs) 1 Squat - 130kg (287lbs) 1 Deadlift - 150kg (331lbs) 1 OHP - 65kg (143lbs) 1 Lifting: Lifted 4 times and completed all prescribed sets / reps for the 5/3/1 compound lifts. I also added reps to 5 x 10 BBB lifts compared to the prior week, even though I needed 6-7 sets to complete the 50 rep…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/24 03:21 PM
1

Good points. Especially this: Slowly specialize with women from there. Seems to be the general consensus on how progression could look like.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/24 08:09 PM
1

I guess this will come with time as I approach more women and see some positive feedback.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/24 08:04 PM
2

Have you read Day Bang? I read it a while back. But I remember the gist of it. Elderly game / indirect openers and rumbling until the girl starts showing some interest. And then get ready for the close with his GALNUC method. What's your take on direct game during the day? What are your goals for next week? Talk to everyone, approach at least 5 attractive girls and make the interactions longer. Ask at least two of them for their number.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/24 08:02 PM
1

Why not continue conversation? Lame excuse, it was uncomfortable so I wanted to get it over with asap. Like you say, inner game. It was a shit test because you were too abrupt in the way approached. I probably was. Is the general rule to always be pushing just a little longer when they drop the "boyfriend" line?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/24 07:54 PM
1

you should have learned that keeping things social will be the best way forward to continue the progression of the conversation. I see your point. This was also a recurring theme in a lot of the infield videos I watched. Start implementing some old man game when you are out and about; specifically, when you are in situations where conversations can spark So essentially a Day Bang script, where I open indirect and then move towards more direct demonstration of intent as and when the girl shows so…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/24 07:51 PM
8

OYS #27 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 82.9kg (183lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 3 Squat - 122.5kg (270lbs) 3 Deadlift - 142.5kg (314lbs) 3 OHP - 62.5kg (138lbs) 1 Lifting: I lifted 4 times again. This third cycle of 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge is really difficult. While I have no major issues with 5/3/1 compound lifts, I struggle to complete 5 x 10 BBB sets at 70% of …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/24 08:40 AM
1

Hamster I know. I would bet that you fail to have basic social human interactions on a day-to-day basis, right? No, not really. It’s the “attractive women” part I struggle with. Too much thinking and not enough action.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/24 07:14 AM
0

If you have 0 approaches next week you'll have a problem. Not going to happen.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/24 07:10 AM
1

What makes you think they want any validation from you or would value your validation? Wife clearly doesn’t. When it comes to other women though, I think at least some of them would find me attractive and would want / value the validation as a result. What'll happen is your hamster will bullshit itself into reasons why you shouldn't go talk to them. Agreed. I need to take advantage of every opportunity. Still, I think planning to go out specifically to talk to women won’t hurt.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/24 07:09 AM
1

Go out and speak to a female and apply what you are reading. I agree, there's no way around it.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/24 08:48 PM
1

Go out and speak to a female and apply what you are reading. I agree, there's no way around it.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/24 08:48 PM
1

OK, no gaming and no sex, lots of anger. Pretty much. What did you do that was fun and/or social? Again, not a lot. I spent some time on one of my hobbies. What are you doing with this extra time you arent spending on your wife? I have been working more but this is temporary due to the new role at work. Otherwise I spend more time with the kid, read and sleep more. I haven't really done much on that just yet but I want to spend a lot of that time learning and applying game. What is your wife or …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/24 08:45 PM
1

OYS #26 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 82.6kg (182lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 87.5kg (193lbs) 5 Squat - 117.5kg (259lbs) 5 Deadlift - 135kg (298lbs) 5 OHP - 57.5kg (127lbs) 5 Lifting: I lifted 4 times and all sessions were more challenging than expected. Not sure if this was due to me being sick the week before or something else. I felt weak. I gained 0.6kg (1.3lbs), with no calori…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/24 03:25 PM
1

I have some work to do on that one, especially the social aspect. Not much other than playing with my son this week.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/24 02:27 PM
1

To start, I think this makes sense: Approach 5 women I would like to sleep with every week.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/24 02:25 PM
1

You're self admitting you lie to yourself. I won't move forward otherwise. Now if you'll just accept it for what it is, like you say you have.... I understand the scepticism. Whether I already have or not remains to be seen. True acceptance is probably a longer process but I seem to be moving in the right direction at least.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/24 02:24 PM
1

I see a lot of similarities between your situation and mine. Not just this comment, others in the past too. At some point, it clicked. I just let it go. I stopped being mad that she wasn’t dropping to her knees every night and accepted that her choices are hers and not necessarily a reflection of me… I stopped caring what she thought and started caring about what I thought. This is key for me now. Not easy but I don't see any other way forward. Maybe try observing yourself more. Treat yourself a…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/24 02:17 PM
1

OYS #25 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 82.0kg (181lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 95.0kg (209lbs) 1 Squat - 125kg (276lbs) 1 Deadlift - 145kg (320lbs) 1 OHP - 57.5kg (127lbs) 5 Lifting: I only lifted once, was sick for most of the week. The one session I did was super hard - turns out 5 x 10 BBB accessory work at 70% of training max really is a killer. Weight is unchanged from the prio…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/24 04:45 PM
1

The way I understand it is slightly different. He says that you would apply control game if there is attraction. Then use indifference is the chick won’t listen / follow. But if she doesn’t want to follow you because there is no attraction in the first place (which seems to be my case), trying to control her is just unproductive and needy.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/24 09:02 PM
1

Ok, this makes sense now.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/24 09:25 AM
1

Let me come back in the next OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/24 03:07 PM
1

She doesn’t fuck you because she’s not attracted and she doesn’t think you could do better This is becoming more and more clear. Do your thing to improve yourself so that you have the best outcome possible no matter how the chips fall. That’s the real outcome independence you want. Agreed. I'll spend some time thinking about what this actually means and what concrete steps I could take next to improve myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/24 11:59 AM
1

If the dichotomies are pull/control/compliance/time&attention vs push/indiffernce/space you have some data points now to calibrate from, right? Not sure I get you point here. Can you elaborate? Sepean wrote something on handling an FA wife and while I don’t think I have one this part was still pertinent in the read: I remember reading Sepean's post history and thinking "I have it easy". I also don't believe my wife is FA but the part you quoted resonates. Invest that time in to add value for you…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/24 11:53 AM
2

Fair enough. You gave me a lot to think about.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/24 11:43 AM
1

Yes, I read it in the past. Beginning of stage 2, I would say.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/24 12:50 PM
1

But he did preface it by saying it wouldn't work and it was to prep you for other girls after you get divorced. Sure, this was always clear to me. You also fucked it by making it overtly about changing her, as opposed to making it about pleasing you through an action. You're right. your wife is clearly not in your frame. Sex is still a gift she gives you. Your time and attention aren't valuable. Focusing on what your wife does at all and giving her more attention, positive or negative, seems unp…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/24 06:22 PM
1

The purpose was always clear to me. Practicing a skill. For me, not for her.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/24 06:18 PM
1

Have you read Roissy? I have but I'll do a refresh. I'd just treat her as a roommate. I wouldn't even bother bossing her around. Little upside in trying to lead someone who doesn't want to be led. No animosity, just logistics. Clear. Just enough to see just how little you can invest for better performance than what you're getting. It'll be interesting to find out.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/24 08:29 PM
2

Who recommended that you tell your wife she's fat and she needs to eat better and work out, then start planning her meals and giving her workouts? This guy You think she doesn't know you would rather be with a fit girl than a fatty? I've learned to stay out of her head by now. Look, I get the point you're making. Didn't realise it was unattractive. I agree you cannot force someone to change and that was not the point of all this. The point was to make my wants clear, openly and without fear.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/24 08:24 PM
1

You're wasting time and being unattractive. Maybe. I tried leading by example in the past, without much success. This is nothing else but control game and it was recommended. I don't expect her to actually listen but all of the above are qualities I want in a girl I'm fucking and I want to make that clear.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/24 07:04 PM
2

Then the performance on the trip wasn't for you. Of course not, no doubt about it. At this point there's no downside to practicing all out asshole game. What would that look like? Can you give an example? Game another girl to the point where you have her isolated and ready to fuck. I was initially planning this for May but agree that now is already a good time. Shit is about to get real.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/24 06:56 PM
1

If she's not anxious about not fucking you, you're not pulling your attention hard enough. You’re right. Calibrating this is not always easy. I think I overdid it the week before. Has she kept up improved appearance post trip? Not really. She worked from home yesterday and was a mess.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/24 05:32 PM
1

OYS #24 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 82.0kg (181lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 95.0kg (209lbs) 1 Squat - 125kg (276lbs) 1 Deadlift - 145kg (320lbs) 1 OHP - 62.5kg (138lbs) 1 Lifting: I lifted 4 times. It was a deload week so not much to report on. Diet was all over the place though and I did not count calories on several days. I gained 0.7kg (1.5lbs). Fucking: I initiated 4 times an…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/24 04:36 PM
2

You could be right. I am being reactive. The idea to withdraw attention for bad behaviour came from MRP, sure. It's one of the first things you learn when you come here. This doesn't make it a bad mental model. Perhaps the key is the react vs. respond distinction and I don't think I really get the difference between the two just yet. At the same time, I don't see how being calm and letting this slide would be congruent with my frame and who I am as a person. It's not.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/24 01:21 PM
1

For some reason I haven't even thought about it as an alternative but fucking the bitchiness right out of her sounds a lot more appealing than punishing bad behaviour by not initiating. Like I said, I'll try it next time it happens.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/24 01:12 PM
1

Fuck the bitchiness right out of her and go on about your day. Interesting concept. Never thought about it, I'll try it next time.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/24 01:08 PM
1

Good question. It's a bit of both at this stage, if I'm honest.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/24 09:58 PM
1

I thought you had decided to hold off on this until April? I had decided to hold off on not initiating when I'm not attracted to her. I would still initiate, for now, even if she doesn't put effort into looking good for me. But rewarding bad behaviour is a different story. I'm not doing that.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/24 09:57 PM
1

Is your girl a sahm? No, she works full time. Someone has to stay with the kid when he gets sick though. As for tests there is bitchiness and shit tests. They can look the same. Didn’t try AA but sure seemed like bitchiness to me. Nukes work for both, which is why it's my go to. “Shut up” was used generously.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/24 05:30 PM
2

OYS #23 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 81.3kg (179lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 95.0kg (209lbs) 1 Squat - 125kg (276lbs) 1 Deadlift - 145kg (320lbs) 1 OHP - 62.5kg (138lbs) 1 Lifting: This is going well. I lifted 4 times and did not experience the same problems that I did previously when doing 5 x 10 sets of squats. I increased the rest periods to 4-5 minutes and everything was fine …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/24 04:58 PM
2

In practice I can see you getting back to excuses for not initiating. I would advise you keep pulling the sexual initiations in your pocket for another couple of weeks. Fair enough. I will carry on like this until the end of March and then raise the bar in April.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/24 09:23 PM
2

Has it ever been "bad enough"? It has actually. I wrote about it a few weeks back. Might it be beneficial for you to set "bad enough" at a lower threshold? What you're asking is essentially "might it be beneficial for you to raise your standards", and the answer is yes. So the Lead Your Wife crew would tell you that this is a leadership issue. I, however, can't say I've seen many successful examples on here of girls being "led out" of this and a lot of fucking failure. It could be a leadership i…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/24 09:20 PM
3

Why didn't you pull out on number 3 if she was phoning it in? Once we started fucking, it was ok. Not bad enough for me to pull out. What I meant was that the experience of pushing through zero enthusiasm initially, only to have an ok session later, was average overall. Yet I didn’t want to give up too quickly/easily this time given how #2 went. In sum on non-sexual is that she's a decent maid and babysitter, but a shit girlfriend (frumpy, fluffy, boring life and conversation)? Correct, very goo…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/24 08:43 AM
2

What's so wrong with telling a woman what you want? Nothing, I guess I have been taking STFU advice too literally. I think the results speak for themselves. If you want an attractive woman, tell her to be attractive. Ok, clear. What do you think of the fact that you're fucking a frump and giving her the reward of your dick without even as much looking good for you? I’m having a bit of a dissonance here. On one hand, my mind says “I want to fuck sexy, attractive women.” Yet my actions clearly sho…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/24 08:37 AM
2

OYS #22 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 81.4kg (179lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 90.0kg (198lbs) 3 Squat - 120kg (265lbs) 3 Deadlift - 137.5kg (303lbs) 3 OHP - 60kg (132lbs) 3 Lifting: I lifted 4 times this week. I was able to complete 5/3/1 sets just fine but the 5 x 10 BBB sets at 60% of training max were hard. I completed them for benchpress and squat. For deadlift and OHP I still …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/24 04:25 PM
2

Interesting.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/24 09:28 AM
2

Yes. Using her like a ragdoll will very likely work to boost enthusiasm there and then. Not sure about its longer term impact though. For the purposes of setting a standard, pulling out and leaving seems to be a better option.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/24 09:27 AM
2

Control game aka bossing her around. Ok, this is clear now. The other more broad discussion you refer to is the Come to Jesus Speech. My gut feeling is that this won't happen before May but let's see.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/24 09:15 AM
2

Figure out how to speak more with your body language and actions. I agree this needs some work. It's a lot more important than the words I say. And women can easily notice even the slightest incongruence there. Still - it's pretty decent improvement from just a few weeks ago isn't it? It is, even though it doesn't seem that I'm doing anything significantly different.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/24 01:22 PM
2

Then I spend like half an hour talking to myself about her farts, her diet, until she gave up and went to sleep on couch. Seems like an overkill. Moral of the story: You dont have to cuddle her, but there is no rule that says you cant game her relentlessly Agreed.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/24 01:07 PM
3

Enthusiasm during: There are two ways of combating the starfish. Pulling out and leaving with a neutral "This isn't working for me. We'll try again later." Caveman. Just use her like a ragdoll. I would go with the former in your case, depending how bad you wanna nut. Both of them do, though, require you stick your dick in her first. Ok, clear. I agree #1 is probably a better choice. I think I've shared "are you sure?" with you before. You have. Not the lazy man version though. I like it for the …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/24 01:00 PM
3

If you give any indication of this belief you will be shit tested on it “you know we only do this because you want to.” Pretty sure that's exactly what would happen. Stop worrying about creating your problem free life, and instead imagine a future version of you who is strong and less emotionally bothered by the emotions those around him. I did this in the past. The key is to consistently act like that guy would until I become him.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/24 12:42 PM
2

Only when a woman tests your frame and believes it congruent will the testing stop Agreed. I know there probably isn't an easy answer to this but how do I become congruent? Other than through repeated trial and error and the LARPing phase? So, in all, you need: boundaries, value and game. Whether it's your wife who gets fucking wet as Niagara falls when those come together remains to be seen. It doesn't matter. Clear and helpful.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/24 12:35 PM
2

But if you want my advice, it's that women will escalate the tests as the sex continues to be good for a period of time as you calibrate. Given the stage of my journey, it is very likely these are tests and I am indeed failing. When I push through though, a lot of the time it seems to me that I have negotiated desire. Do women escalate these tests for a period of time only or is this sort of frequency something I might have to learn to live with? Watch what she does, not what she says. A wet pus…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/24 09:18 PM
2

That's actually what I did. Horns has a point though, I like the blindfold idea.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/24 09:03 PM
2

Why didn't you just fuck her the third time? Because it seemed to me I was negotiating desire / coming off as needy at that point. I said a few weeks back that I was trying to set a standard of only fucking someone who's enthusiastic about it. I am not getting a lot of enthusiasm before sex and then decent enthusiasm during sex. I don't think jumping through a hundred hoops just to fuck is the way to improve that. Or perhaps I'm just failing a shit test and that is what things looks like before …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/24 09:02 PM
5

OYS #21 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 82.8kg (183lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 1 Squat - 120kg (265lbs) 1 Deadlift - 130kg (287lbs) 5 OHP - 55kg (121lbs) 5 Lifting: No lifting this week as I was away skiing. I ate at maintenance and counted calories. A lot of it was a rough approximation though as we were eating out quite a lot. The only weight measurement I took was…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/24 04:44 PM
2

Other negative incentives can work as well. Just make it suck. I will think of something. It has to be something I will actually follow through with.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/24 06:14 PM
2

Logistics may be providing more comfort for you by shielding yourself from the vulnerability to act sexually in situations that feel uncomfortable for you. Sadly, I think this is spot on. From a growth standpoint and frame development standpoint it is helpful to see yourself rise to these challenges regardless of the outcome. Clear.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/24 06:12 PM
2

On the other hand, if you can’t figure out the logistics to fuck your own wife, you don’t have a prayer slaying strange more than one-off. I agree. I was thinking about it as an alternative to divorce but it really seems suboptimal, for many reasons. I also think there’s something to be said for not having a side piece while divorcing. Cleaner hands / clearer thinking. I can see how this could mess things up. If I do make a decision to nuke I will focus 100% on getting it done.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/24 06:10 PM
2

Because I'm choosing to spend time with family instead.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/24 06:05 PM
2

How do you plan to improve it? I don’t know what else to say other than I will try harder. I’m not lifting while skiing but I will be more deliberate on the fucking front.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/24 02:52 PM
1

This is a truism yet u/the_iron_temple has been hiding his lack of fucking behind "logistics" ever since he got here, being called on it more than once. I sure have. I realise how silly this looks when guys with more on their plate manage to initiate / fuck a lot more. The issue is not bad logistics. It’s me not doing enough.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/24 02:44 PM
3

OYS #20 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 82.8kg (183lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 1 (week before) Squat - 120kg (265lbs) 1 (week before) Deadlift - 130kg (287lbs) 5 OHP - 55kg (121lbs) 5 Lifting: I only lifted twice this week (deadlift & OHP sessions). I prioritised a number of other things, including some errands ahead of my ski trip starting this weekend. 5/3/1/ BBB s…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/24 11:12 AM
2

What does this standard look like? It's essentially the "Women" section from my OYS a few weeks back. AND if her behaviour starts to meet that standard how do you think you would react? This is an interesting question and something I thought about a lot. If this was the case, would it make enough of a difference? Perhaps. I'd be getting a lot more value out of the relationship and would obviously be pleased. I would want to think a lot harder on whether to next her or not. Otherwise, I don't thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/24 01:57 PM
3

At this stage what does your day to day interaction with your wife look like? Some small talk / kino in the morning as we're getting ready for work. If we text throughout the day, it's mostly logistics. I pick up my kid from nursery so I'm home before my wife arrives and when she does, there is again some small talk (how was your day type of stuff), kino and game. I then go to the gym. By the time I come back, it's bed time for my son. Once he's asleep I either initiate, we watch something toget…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/24 05:46 PM
3

Most guys fuck up their first bulk by overeating. I can see why. Just know that bulking properly takes more discipline than cutting the first few times until you get the hang of it. This is interesting and a little counterintuitive. I always thought cutting required more discipline so I really paid attention to calories, macros, cardio, etc. while cutting. Paradoxically, shifting my mindset to "bulking takes more discipline than cutting" could make it easier. I'd set a permanent one for both qua…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/24 09:27 PM
3

OYS #19 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 82.7kg (182lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 1 Squat - 120kg (265lbs) 1 Deadlift - 140kg (309lbs) 1 OHP - 60kg (132lbs) 1 Lifting: It was a busy week and I lifted 3 times, with the deadlift session left out. It was also a deload week so not a lot to report on. I gained 0.5kg (1.1lbs). In fact I gained an average of just under 1lbs pe…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/24 04:19 PM
2

I think commanding a blow job, going for what I wanted without expectations was attractive. Me pressure flipping with a hint of passive-aggressiveness might have been unattractive. Yes, I was firm but I also came across as someone who still cares too much.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/24 08:52 AM
2

if that's all you're looking for, own it. if you're actually trying to divorce, own that. I haven't made that decision yet. While intuitively I'd prefer not to divorce, I am conscious of being a dancing monkey. So I am approaching this with an open mind. was curious about a baseline and what to expect. i was just curious about risks. I think this is key. Knowing what to expect and what the risks are is important for me to be able to make the decision whether to nuke or not. Doesn't mean I have t…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 09:55 PM
2

Do you know what rules 1 and 2 are? Not really, I guess you're not talking about the MRP rules 1 (no concern trolling) and 2 (no shaming) because I don't see how they would be relevant to the situation I wrote about. Can you elaborate? I told my wife to blow me. Doesn't work if she doesn't want to. What if you'd said I want you to blow me. Subtle but important difference. that's the difference. you're not taking away. you're empowering her to make a choice to align her actions with your wants vs…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 09:43 PM
2

You're not supposed to do a Monkey Dance to make your girl do X. Exactly what I thought. Sure, building some tension beforehand has its place but it doesn't have to be every time. Double down on what's working and be careful to tweak too much. Doing just that.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 09:31 PM
2

Nuking is a hard stop. Can you give me an example of what that would have looked like in this case? A simple "shut up"? I don’t nuke all the time because I don’t enjoy it, and it isn’t always the tool I need to use. I also don't nuke everything all the time. I mostly write about situations where I did, though. Seems there is more to learn from these. A lot of the time A&A is all I need. Depends on the context. In this particular case, she crossed a line. u/razzmatazz32 shared notes that this can…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 09:45 PM
2

Good points, you have given my something to chew on. Game is fun. Try it. I know. Honestly, the atmosphere between us is a lot more playful and light now. Has been for a while. I just don't write about it all that much. instead of engaging in womanese. Well spoted. This is the biggest learning point I am taking from all this.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 09:37 PM
2

I am. I own it. This is the most difficult part of the entire process for me. I am reframing this now so that instead of thinking: "oh shit, I'm getting ready, this means I will nuke" it's more along the lines of: "I'm getting ready for me. Doesn't mean I have to nuke but if I decide to do so, I won't be wasting any more of my precious time".
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 09:28 PM
2

Did you actually expect to succeed? I didn't think about it like that at the time. I am long past expecting anything when I initiate / escalate. I wanted a blow job, that's all. Is escalating with thinly veiled threats (“…perhaps you should reconsider being part of this family” and “Oh I think about it a lot. Trust me.”) operating in your frame? It was my attempt at nuking the shit test. And yes, nuking insinuations that my expectations or standards are too high / "overwhelming" is certainly wit…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 04:41 PM
2

Why are you asking a lawyer about whether therapy will work? Because my understanding of it "working" is that it could give me an advantage in court, nothing else. And that is a strictly legal matter. I got this advice from the first lawyer I consulted and I want to get a second opinion. She might not want to divorce me (assuming I decide to nuke) and then the process becomes a lot more complex. Strategy would play an important role. My experience has been that couples therapy rarely works. Sure…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 04:25 PM
2

I will book an attorney and I want to get a second opinion from them on whether therapy could be a useful tactical tool in my case. So I will only book therapy after the consult but will research potential candidates this week.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 03:03 PM
2

So what do you commit to doing on divorce prep for next week? Researching therapists and attorneys for another consult.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 02:28 PM
2

OYS #18 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 82.2kg (181lbs), ~13%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 1 Squat - 120kg (265lbs) 1 Deadlift - 140kg (309lbs) 1 OHP - 60kg (132lbs) 1 Lifting: Lifting is going well. I trained 4 times this week and progressed in line with the plan. BBB 5 x 10 sets were a bit more challenging, perhaps because of the higher weight on the main 5/3/1 compound lifts.…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 12:01 PM
2

Yes, that's the idea of the regular 5/3/1. I am doing Boring But Big 3-Month Challenge, which is slightly different. Once finished, I will move to normal 5/3/1 BBB with AMRAP sets.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/24 07:08 PM
1

It happens when fucking new girls as well, maybe even more. With those, usually you’re batting away different tests like crazy until she spreads her legs, and then 30 seconds later she’s screaming your ear off. Hardly negotiated desire. Interesting take and something I haven't considered. Note down what the parameters are. I have a good idea already and will put it in writing. Start bossing her around. Clear. A third tool is adding praise when she does well to reinforce that behaviour. It can ba…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/24 08:02 PM
1

Just be sure this is actually your priority. Clear, it is important for me. Fucking seems to be in that slog of turning it around. It is definitely getting better. Still, I have to push through a lot of resistance, which gives me an impression that all I am doing is negotiating desire. Maybe it is all one giant shit test and that is simply what things look like before they improve further. How about in other areas? Is she beginning to work on the relationship/to provide more value? I had to thin…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/24 08:57 AM
1

Are you doing the linear progression program, adding 2.5/5kg to each lift every week? No, I maxed out linear progression during my last bulk. I'm doing 5/3/1 block periodization. How many reps are you doing on the 5+/3+/1+ top sets? There are no AMRAP sets in the challenge. You do the required reps only and then move to 5 x 10 BBB sets. From what I read online, the first cycle of the challenge (5 x 10 sets at 50% of your training max) seems easy for a lot of people. Second cycle at 60% is a lot …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/24 08:50 PM
1

Are you sure you want that much time with the kid? Good question. Right now I think so. But there's probably quite a bit that I am not factoring in. What's your experience with kids / custody post-D? Is that too much time? How much better than litigation is the financial proposal you are planning to make? I'm giving her the absolute best outcome she can possibly hope for in litigation. More likely, she would get around 5% to 10% less if we don't settle.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/24 08:44 PM
3

OYS #17 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 81.9kg (181lbs), ~13%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 87.5kg (193lbs) 3 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 3 Deadlift - 132.5kg (292lbs) 3 OHP - 57.5kg (127lbs) 3 Lifting: Lifting is going well, I trained 4 times. 5/3/1 compound lifts as well as the BBB 5 x 10 accessories still seem somewhat easy at this stage. In addition to the slower tempo, I cut back the rest period…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/24 04:12 PM
2

Whether having the kid around full time is worth trying to circumvent it is your call to make. In May. Until then, practice. Clear. Have you read SGM? Yes, I read it once some time ago. Re-reading now and I'm about a third into it. So what do you DO now? This week I will finalize my plans for custody and asset split. Child support is done and alimony doesn't apply. I will report in the next OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/24 08:29 PM
2

You will have to teach her or dump her if you want a more exciting sex life. I will teach her but I don't expect her to change really. I've developed a strong preference for "sex positive" somewhat pre-trained bitches. I can see why. Training a girl can be fun. I bet it's a lot more fun training a new girl rather than someone you've been with for nearly 20 years. She's never been dumped before, never had to change for anyone. In any case, where do I start? Why? I'm procrastinating on this becaus…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/24 07:54 PM
2

Don't give her too many second chances, but a little help and guidance once in a while isn't the worst thing in the world. Noted, I’ll try it next time it happens. Is this one of those sexually repressed/inexperienced girls? She is. Also - what divorce prep did you do this week? None this week.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/24 04:51 PM
2

OYS #16 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 81.0kg (179lbs), ~13%bf (navy method) Current lifts: This is 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge max in a given week, not AMRAP. Bench - 85kg (187lbs) 5 Squat - 107.5kg (237lbs) 5 Deadlift - 125kg (276lbs) 5 OHP - 55kg (121lbs) 5 Lifting: I started a new program this week - 5/3/1 BBB 3-month challenge. I lifted 4 times and the BBB 5 x 10 sets at 50% of my training max seemed quite easy, so I slowed down the tempo. If this is still an issue…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/24 09:27 PM
2

You sure this isn’t just a projection of your own guilt? It could be. Eventually this will lead to you failing comfort tests. Great piece and something to bear in mind for sure. However, I am not getting many comfort tests yet to be honest.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/24 08:50 AM
3

It was suggested as a tactical tool only, to give me an upper hand in court. I will get a second opinion, from a different lawyer.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/24 08:47 AM
3

Point taken. It comes down to this You will eventually find that what you (and she) thinks she needs is often the polar opposite of what she actually needs. Doesn’t surprise me. I’m beginning to notice this already. Just last night as I was about to fuck her she said: „I need you to hold me tight and make love, gently. Don’t be a dick this time”. 5 min. into it and she’s asking me to fuck her hard, doggystyle. Go figure.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/24 08:44 AM
2

The rest of it was unhelpful. The only benefit I see at this stage is that it would give me an advantage in court if I decide to nuke. In the long run, treating her badly would be NOT taking the steps you are taking to make improvements that allow for a (possible) sustainable relationship. This is a great perspective.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/24 03:31 PM
2

If she declines (surprisingly probable) you're done with that bit of prep nice and easy. Not really. I still have to go by myself and get a piece of paper that says I went on my own, which would give me a massive advantage in court. "Shut up" really is a wonderful tool, isn't it? It really is. A few days later and she's all smiles. Almost as if it never happened. Any notes on where to take the fucking from here?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/24 12:43 PM
3

OYS #15 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 80.8kg (178lbs), ~12%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 5, 4 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 8; 120kg (265lb) 5, 4 Deadlift - 140kg (309lbs) 5, 5, 4 OHP - 57.5kg (127lbs) 6, 4, 4 Reading: Re-reading Sex God Method. I think this is relevant more than ever now. Lifting: I lifted only twice this week as I decided to give priority to my son’s sleep training. I added weight to squat and added one rep to my bench press. Skipp…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/24 10:52 AM
1

Is your wife SAHM? I don’t recall. No, she works full time. DM me if you want to discuss. I have. Asset split - what can’t be replaced? Consider liquidity, flexibility, and taxes not just the asset value. This is helpful. Child support - This is usually calculated based on income & # of kids. Is your offer based on COL (instead of income) and that’s why it’s 20% better? I'm in Europe and where I live this is calculated based on the cost of living rather than income. 20% is my initial idea, to gi…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/24 09:34 PM
1

Ideally you’ll have the basic structure of the agreement in place before you start pulling strange. That's the plan, no need to rush it.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/24 09:27 PM
1

Figure out exactly when you're allowed to fuck strange in the divorce process It's from when I file. All of it will have to be agreed, not just custody. Treat it like any other negotiation. Put everything on the table at once, and make it one big negotiation. Sure. I have a rough idea of what my opening position will be in each of the categories. The next steps will be to finalize that and to figure out how I am going to move towards any compromise. And you listed some good points to take into a…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/24 10:24 PM
3

OYS #14 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 80.5kg (177lbs), ~12%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 4, 4 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 7, 6, 5 Deadlift - 140kg (309lbs) 5, 5, 4 OHP - 57.5kg (127lbs) 6, 4, 4 Reading: It was pointed out to me that I might still be seeking validation at this stage of my journey. So I went over the below posts again to remind myself of the basics. Timeline: Escaping Sex for Validation, and Quitting Porn Validation needs that can po…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/24 04:24 PM
1

you don't blow them up, and it'll be allowed to fester. she will have been empowered to take more pot shots. subtle, ambiguous, and denaible. Been there before. And I'd rather be the asshole.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/24 08:40 PM
1

Your fucking is performative. All things ego. What's the best way to start changing that? I will tell you this though - my experience is that women enjoy being used (they'd say desired) more than they enjoy having orgasms. In fact, I'd go so far to say that a woman's orgasm is a woman's problem. This is helpful. YMMV Unlikely.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/24 08:37 PM
1

Validation seeking mindset. Dance monkey dance. My first thought was “Why? I want that for myself”. But if I dig deeper, I think you might have a point. The truth is probably somewhere in between. I do want to last longer for my own pleasure. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t give a fuck about her at all.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/24 12:51 PM
1

"Shut up." is the only verbal nuke you'll ever need. Use it generously Fair enough. There's a non-zero chance that the tests were in part caused by the preceding praise. Try observing/testing this out. I noticed this once before, a few weeks back. I will keep an eye out for a pattern. Many guys coming through here (think) they want to be the Family Alpha on the homestead. This is what I thought as well until I had a kid. But if I really look inside myself and skip the bullshit, what I want is di…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/24 12:42 PM
1

My only response has been "And?" I like that. Do you keep getting these accusations still after responding this way?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/24 12:34 PM
1

I’m not saying your response was bad, I just think some things call for a clear, firm statement (aka nuking the shit test) instead of a question back. I agree, this is why I told her never to do it again after we finished fucking. Maybe “shut up” is a good answer next time I get it.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/24 12:32 PM
1

She's just poking you to see how true you are to your own desire. I’m sure she is. "Yeah, what else do you expect me to think about when you're wiggling that ass around me like that?" "I think you should be more worried when I am not thinking about sex at all." I have used all of these in the past. Trying something else this time is a result of the discussion I had with WMP last week. And I agree with his view that shaming is disrespectful, shit test or not. If you want to go deeper: your woman …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/24 12:06 PM
6

OYS #13 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 80.4kg (177lbs), ~12%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 5, 4 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 7, 5 Deadlift - 140kg (309lbs) 5, 4 OHP - 57.5kg (127lbs) 5, 4 Lifting: I lifted 4 times, made progress on Squat and lost one rep on OHP. Deadlift and bench were unchanged. I have 2 more weeks of maintenance before switching to a bulk and a new program - 5/3/1 BBB. I gained 0.9kg (2lbs) this week. I did not count calories the en…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/01/24 10:56 AM
1

If she hasn't gotten in line properly by then, you'll want to give her more time. Don't. At that point that's a guaranteed waste of time and effort. Just ask u/futilefighter. The below are his exact words from a comment above. Hopefully you don’t have to get to the point of potentially nuking your family. (...) Even if it does come to that, get to that point and live there for a bit before doing so. It could be a waste of time. I'll have a pretty good idea by observing her actions from now until…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/23 02:28 PM
1

So why aren’t you initiating at least daily then? Often it's logistics and my two-year old cockblocker. I decided this is something I will work on though, 1-2 a week doesn't cut it.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/23 02:20 PM
1

Excellent notes. Fuck, I love this place.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/23 02:13 PM
1

It can feel intimidating but you don’t have to solve it today. Agreed. Try things and see how they fit. Scan yourself in moments and ask if this I want or don’t want. I'm on the right track here, I think.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/23 02:11 PM
1

Even if it does come to that, get to that point and live there for a bit before doing so. I think this is a really good point. Once you're ready to pull the trigger, another couple of months won't change much anyway. I mean until you would actually decline. For me to actually decline, we would have to be fucking multiple times a day.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/23 02:09 PM
2

Pop the kid in the stroller and walk to a park. Bring the wife. We do this on a regular basis already. I am missing the emphasizing part though, let me try that. And they feel the need when you are killing it and they feel like they’ll get left behind if they don’t get in gear. Smart ones don’t let the gap get too wide. I've been at it for 3 months, not long enough to see any meaningful difference. But at some point she will realize I have changed. If you haven’t already, go read u/hornsofapathy…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/23 07:03 PM
1

You’ve correctly identified where you’re stuck. And this is the single biggest thing holding me back at the moment. And you lead with action. Letting your “identity”, including thoughts and feelings, follow. I think this is key. Act like a guy who has his shit together and thoughts and feelings will follow.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/23 06:40 PM
1

You don't have to go and fuck other women, but you have to have the ability to go out and fuck other women. The ability and willingness to actually do it. No point having options if you won't exercise them when needed.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/23 06:21 PM
1

The important point is that there are "advanced" responses to shit-tests beyond STFU, A&A, and AM that directly challenge rather than merely deflect the test Good point. and which belong in the toolbox of men who already command frame and respect. I am clearly not there yet, working on it. The fact that your wife would shame you for wanting to fuck her is a level of disrespect that I can't even begin to fathom tbh. I would be furious at the insinuation that I'm the bad dog that got into the garb…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/23 05:37 PM
1

Rather, you have to be as creative as you can to push the standard as high as you can. Awesome. What is the discomfort about? The nice guy stuff. Potentially fucking up my son's life, being the bad guy, ruining my wife's life and what everyone else might think. It really is some shit to own, I think there is a lot of work to be done to change my mental models here. Don’t thank me, or anyone here. Ok.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/23 03:23 PM
1

so acting like a retarded clown, basically. Maybe you're right. you ever just considering threatening to just smack a bitch when she's blatantly disrespectfully? No.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/23 03:14 PM
2

just bought underwear and put it on the bed, no words just left it there. Within a week she's sporting it and coming at me saying she enjoys them and wants to spoil me for taking care of her. Interesting, looks like you not talking made all the difference here.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/23 11:23 PM
1

Even so, spend some time working out some ways of isolating/escalating up front. Good point. Point is that you are the one (and only) judge in your life. Any value/normative calls are 100% based on your needs/wants. Agreed. Every girl knows guys like lingerie, sexy attitude, good makeup, whatever. Even yours. This emphatically does not mean you just go pout in a corner. Control game is essential. Boss her around. But don’t do her job for her. OK, this makes a lot more sense now. Are these “impor…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/23 11:19 PM
1

Depending on the exact thing thrown out, it's either A&A or something out of the WISNIFG tool box. Recently it's mostly fogging or broken record focusing on what I want.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/23 11:04 PM
1

Up till now, you've had to do exactly 0 thinking. Now you have to, and it's a muscle you haven't exercised yet. And it's a lot more difficult than I expected. "What does success look like?" Make a guess, give it a go, and see if your initial guess was right, wrong, or directionally correct. Let me spend some time thinking about it. I will report in the next OYS. there's some failure in subcommunication here. it shouldn't be a surprise that you want to use your wife - and the fact that she uses s…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/23 12:35 PM
1

This of course means there’s no way around the harder stuff. Good. Delete ”I have/want/need to” from your vocabulary. Write about what you did. This can go for commitments into the future. Clear. I am still lazy at initiations. I will see my wife 2 or 3 nights this week and I decided I will fuck her every night I see her. I will report back next week. So not all shit. That’s something. Yes and these are actually important qualities. She puts in some effort to look attractive but it's usually not…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/23 12:25 PM
2

From a fuckability standpoint 85-88kg with SBD at or above 100/140/180 for reps is better. I think it is also more realistic and something that is not too far off. Fucking: You essentially don't get rejected anymore I really don't. Which means I have to initiate more and keep pushing the envelope. Women: This is better. How far from this ideal is your wife? Quite far I think. Or at least further than I would like. She is kind to people, doesn't really drink or spend money on stupid shit. She's a…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/12/23 10:47 PM
5

OYS #12 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 79.5kg (175lbs), ~12%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 5, 4 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 5, 4 DL - 140kg (309lbs) 5, 4 OHP - 57.5kg (127lbs) 6, 4 Lifting: I lifted 4 times this week. Squat session was very weak and I lost a few reps. I suspect this is due to me skipping squats the week before. I added reps to bench and deadlift, while OHP was unchanged. I finished cutting and started week one of a 4-week maintenance…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/12/23 08:50 AM
1

Plenty of good information here, thanks. I don't have any major issues talking to people, especially if we have something in common (e.g. work or gym). However, most of the time I have to actually force myself to take action and open my mouth. It is not natural for me and random people rarely initiate conversation themselves. cultivate a habit of just talking to people. The most social people I know just talk to random people all the time. This is absolutely crucial and the best way to build the…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/23 05:55 PM
1

"Why is a stupid fucking" question to quote Rian. Fair enough. But if you need a metal model to tie it to, I'd call it nuking her pretence with a possible follow up of the marital version of the PUA freeze-out. Clear. Don't sleep on this. Post about it in next OYS. I will. What she "wants" is fickle and malleable. Again. Don't worry about this shit until your cut off point (was it May?). Agreed. It is May and I suspect time will fly.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/23 01:04 PM
1

So we're about 25% of the way there and nothing is stopping you except logistics. Pretty much. You ask "Are you sure?" if she still resists (mouth words or otherwise) you immediately stop and go do something else. It works like magic. It works because she'll want to fuck after I go do something else? Are we talking typical LMR strategy where you escalate, get pushback so ignore for a bit and then escalate again? You must have other needs/wants. Think about those. It will matter eventually. These…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/23 10:50 PM
2

Thanks, this is all helpful. Berberine Will read up on it.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/23 10:36 PM
1

Sexual dimorphism matters. A lot more than abs This is interesting, something I haven't really considered up until now. How many times did you fuck this week? Once. How many times a week would you like to fuck? 3 - 4 times. If the two don't align, why is that? I thought about this for a while today. The obvious answer is because I don't initiate enough. Why though? I don't think it's because I'm scared. I mean I still experience some discomfort but I'm learning to push thorough. What is it then?…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/23 03:22 PM
3

Why? Mostly to give myself a bit more room to run the bulk. I previously did 12% - 18% bf range and, frankly, above 15% I look skinny fat. Maybe this is some sort of body dysmorphia kicking in but I don't think it is a fuckable look either. I also get to that 15% level pretty quickly (3 months or so) and it seems I tend to gain more fat than muscle at these higher bf levels. I do sincerely think you should add some muscle onto your frame though. Skinny isn't a fuckable look; we're going for fuck…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/23 09:08 AM
2

They only keep you safe in the comfort zone with something/something to blame. Exactly, this does not benefit me in any way. Even if you STFU notice the ones inside your head. I suspect the ones in my head are a lot more important to deal with. STFU is easier.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/23 08:55 AM
0

You're not wrong, I definitely need to gain more muscle. I want to drop sub 10% bf first though, so another 5lbs to go.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/23 09:39 PM
1

There are lots of reasons that could happen, even when everything is going right in a diet. Thanks for the reminder. What matters is how you look and feel. That's true. I can look better, there is still a layer of fat I want to get rid off.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/23 09:36 PM
2

Agreed.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/23 09:32 PM
1

This is a good point. I know why I'm going there and I have an idea what life might look like once I get there. But I certainly don't have every detail figured out and it's something I need to spend some time on.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/23 08:41 AM
6

OYS #11 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 79.3kg (175lbs), ~12%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 4, 3 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 7, 6 DL - 140kg (309lbs) 4, 4 OHP - 57.5kg (127lbs) 6, 4 Lifting: I lifted 3 times this week. I skipped the squat day as I still tested positive for COVID until Wednesday. Aside from OHP, I lost reps on the other compound lifts. Not sure if this was due to me being sick or the ongoing calorie deficit but training was harder than…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/23 08:34 AM
2

The very first step is control over your mindset, or frame. For me the key here is to know what your goals are and what you want out of a career. Sure, titles and prestige are important. But what do I really want? Freedom. Use the company as it would use you, and it will be a bountiful partnership. My job isn't perfect. I still work for a boss and within a certain corporate structure. But every year I get closer and closer to my ultimate goal - to have enough and to be able to do whatever the fu…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/23 12:07 PM
1

As you push forward, flip the script put her to work for you and fuck her. Great point. but you don’t want to keep stating “all you have to do is say no” because after once it is permissive. Yeah, she's getting a safe word. Let me share some reading material with you. This should go on the sidebar.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/23 10:01 AM
1

To clarify my broken record comment, the intent isn’t to nag and definitely not to negotiate, but to be unwavering and unaffected by the shit tests. Agreed. I just redirect over and over, with a strong helping of STFU. Basically just not engaging with the tests, because they aren’t relevant to what I want. This is a good point. I need to keep coming back to what I want. Thanks for taking the time.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/23 09:48 AM
1

Were the shit tests after she put on the lingerie or before? She never put it on. Shit tests started after I said what I wanted. I didn't want to negotiate it or sound desperate so I didn't do broken record at the time. It's been some time already but some of the stuff thrown at me was "your timing is great", "can you always get in the mood that quick?", etc. You get the picture.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 09:17 AM
1

Why is she shit testing so hard if she really wants it? My behaviour is new. She needs to see if this is the real deal. And if it’s this difficult to just fuck the same woman you’ve fucked a thousand times before, why bother? Because the problem is likely me, not her.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/23 10:40 AM
1

Get into some CNC. I know it's one of her fantasies. How do I pull it off successfully though, assuming I can't just go from 0 to a 100 (on a sexual skill scale) in a split second? You should notice her becoming more submissive outside the bedroom She's been pleasant and sweet ever since.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/23 10:35 AM
1

Nagging your wife to put on lingerie for 10 minutes sounds like a recipe for very lackluster sex. It probably is. I think Horns said to just keep pushing because the reality is, I was afraid to do it. I thought I was doing real work but I wasn't going beyond my edge. Of course, once I learn how to go for what I want without fear and hesitation, I might have a lot less patience. I probably won't even have to push this hard because I'll be a lot more attractive. For now it's all about me and overc…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/23 10:29 AM
1

True, spot on.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/23 10:10 AM
2

It’s possible I could have missed it You can see the broader context in my OYS #1, which can be found here. I'm choosing to focus on lifting and fucking in my OYS, at least for now. These are the two areas that require the most work on my side. Plus they form a major part of my mission. A lot of other things are largely irrelevant at this stage. How is work going? Finances? What are your other goals? How is your social life? Social life is the only one that requires work. I'm aware of that but, …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/23 10:01 AM
2

OYS #10 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 79.9kg (176lbs), ~12%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 6, 5 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 7, 6 DL - 140kg (309lbs) 5, 4 OHP - 55kg (121lbs) 8; 57.5kg (127lbs) 5 Lifting: I only lifted once this week, I caught COVID. I did the squat session, maintaining reps from the prior week. I lost another 0.7kg (1.5lbs), weight loss is going well. Relationship: I got some good advice around escalation and pushing through LMR in m…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/23 08:37 AM
4

I run the finances at home, always have. We both work but I'm responsible for the vast majority of our overall income. Financial independence and the freedom that comes with it is a big part of my mission. I used to budget but don't anymore. I don’t believe it provides any benefit in my current situation so I’d rather use my time elsewhere. We live below our means and don't spend money on stupid shit just to impress others. My main focus is growing income rather than limiting costs. With bonus s…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/23 01:45 PM
2

Help me understand this Gym is non negotiable for me so leaving the house to go lift is relatively easy. However, I think I need to do more when it comes to pulling attention / presence elsewhere. It boils down to control / indifference game and I have some work to do when it comes to indifference. It appears things are changing, but at the level of comfort you can tolerate. I think this observation is key. I have definitely stepped outside of my comfort zone a few times since starting OYS but I…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/23 12:50 PM
1

I read it at some point, good reminder.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 12:42 PM
1

Unless you get a hard no you keep going. It’s the second time you’ve told me this. It can’t get any more clear. Why is this so hard for you to grasp? I haven’t really pushed through LMR much in the past, it’s all new to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 12:37 PM
1

Thanks, this is helpful. I’ll treat it as LMR going forward and push until a hard no.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 12:32 PM
1

Interesting. I do think this is the way to go, subtle moves don't seem to have made much of a difference so far.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 10:13 PM
1

There's more butthurt there than you give yourself credit for. Perhaps there is. You'd already done the hard part, why not just caveman? I don't particularly enjoy it and I'm trying to set a standard for what I want my sex life to look like. And it's not that. I do get your point though. Perhaps me pushing just a little more would've resulted in an enjoyable session for both of us. It didn't seem like it to me at the time though.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 10:07 PM
2

So you can game random women who aren’t fucking you, but not the one you know better (but also isn’t fucking you)? Pretty much. With random women IDGAF. Is this a Madonna-whore thing? To some extent yes, it is. I think it's also because I've known her for such a long time. Do you embrace your sexuality or repress it? I try to embrace it but I have more work to do here. There are times where I hold myself back. It happens a lot less now though. Does she know (without you saying it) that you are a…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 09:57 PM
1

Yes, I just need to remember to actually apply it in practice.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 12:23 PM
1

I didn't want to come across as butthurt at the time. But I think you're right, I have been giving her too much of my attention and it has to change.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 11:59 AM
1

I initiated once but we didn't fuck. Nothing otherwise.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 09:48 AM
5

OYS #9 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 80.6kg (178lbs), ~12%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 6, 5 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 7, 6 DL - 140kg (309lbs) 5, 4 OHP - 55kg (121lbs) 8; 57.5kg (127lbs) 5 Lifting: I lifted 4 times and made progress on all lifts apart from the squat. I added reps on bench and deadlift and added weight on OHP. I’m getting used to my weightlifting shoes, balance seemed a lot better this week. I lost another 0.4kg (0.9lbs). I’m dow…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 08:48 AM
1

For wendlars BBB I’d do the template with the heavy compound lift the same as 5x10 lift on same day. Then quickly transition to 3 month challenge. I’ll do one cycle of regular 5/3/1 BBB to get familiar with the program and then transition to the 3 month challenge. It looks like you’re doing a dynamic progression model currently which can be effective I’m doing Lyle McDonald Generic Bulking Routine, compound lifts in the 6-8 rep range (except for deadlift, which I do in the 4-6 range) and accesso…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/23 08:53 AM
1

Set it on the bed before you want to fuck next time or just say “go put this on.” That’s what I’ll do this week. There is a lot of nonsense about what may or may not be in her head or motivating her actions. I agree, this has to stop. With your lifting I’d trial slightly higher reps 8-12 range for compounds 12-20 for smaller lifts. I would need to lower the weight, which I’m reluctant to do while on a cut. I’m planning to do 5/3/1 BBB for my next bulk, which will have me do compound lifts in the…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/23 08:11 AM
1

This sounds like a weak initiation, and then you threw your hands up and got sad that you're wife didn't reciprocate. I wouldn’t even call it an initiation. Did you not want sex and half-ass it, or were you scared of pushing for what you wanted? I wanted her to do all the work, not because of fear and not because I didn’t want sex. Because of ego.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/23 07:51 AM
1

No frame. Every guy that talks about his wife’s cycle lacks frame. You talking about ovulation is absolute scarcity mindset. Point taken. I think this goes hand in hand with the next part of your comment. Your comments also reveal that you don’t really believe you’re the prize. Yet. I'm working on it. Knock off the passive aggressive shit. Again, good insight. Thanks. Divorce prep - at least for me, it was helpful to look at prep in 4 areas — custody, child support, alimony, and asset split. Fin…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/23 07:30 PM
1

It's basic Game knowledge that you escalate no matter the signals you get outside a hard no. Girls don't let on when they want to fuck. Much less initiate. I think my issue is that I struggle to treat her like any random chick, which is what I should do. Madonna - whore complex, I guess. It's my job to initiate when I want to fuck, I realise that now.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/23 07:22 PM
1

Sadly, this sums it up perfectly. I had a very productive lifting session after reading your comment.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/23 07:16 PM
3

OYS #8 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 81.0kg (179lbs), ~13%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 5, 5 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 7, 6, 5 DL - 140kg (309lbs) 4, 4 OHP - 55kg (121lbs) 7, 7 Reading: I continue reading 1-2-3 Magic. Started to implement counting and I can see a big difference already, after only a few days. Lifting: I lifted four times. I lost one rep on squat but was able to progress (bench & deadlift) or maintain reps (OHP) on the other lifts…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/23 04:03 PM
2

All valid points, thanks. I need to be more patient.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/23 10:53 AM
0

Right, in which case I must come across as attractive in certain situations and unattractive in others. In my case a lot of the shitty behaviour seems to come as a result of her being stressed / exhausted from dealing with a 2 year old. I could probably be a better leader in this area but so far I've decided to focus on boundary enforcement instead.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/23 10:32 PM
1

They are different, sure. I'm getting both and I think either of them is a form of test in the end. Just a different way to see if I have a backbone.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/23 10:07 PM
1

Noted.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/23 10:00 PM
1

only making them known and to be respected or no reward if shitty behavior is shown. That’s what I meant by defending. But you’re right, enforcing is a better choice of words here. on cuddles Good reminder, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/23 08:17 AM
1

So are you committed to it? Or just fogging? I am committed, no decisions until May. If I am to become fully divorce prepped in March, should I start looking into it around January? Keep your eyes open and listen to your gut. I will, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/23 08:13 AM
2

Give yourself time to decide on the relationship. 1 May or so would be decent. Agreed, this is a reasonable timeline. What's the likelihood your wife fucked around on you? I don't think she did but I can't rule it out. If she wanted to, I'd never know. AWALT.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/23 09:51 PM
7

OYS #7 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 81.5kg (180lbs), ~13%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 6, 4, 3 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 7, 6, 6 DL - 140kg (309lbs) 4, 3, 2 OHP - 55kg (121lbs) 7, 7 Reading: Currently reading 1-2-3 Magic. I’m about 40% through and really like the framework it sets out for controlling obnoxious behaviour. Looking forward to putting this into practice. Lifting: I didn’t lift at all as I was sick the entire week - a rotavirus I cau…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/23 05:10 PM
3

I've got this covered well when it comes to work outfits. It's typically business casual. I look sharp, enjoy it and get complimented on my style at work on a regular basis. What I struggle with is my casual / weekend outfits. The clothes still fit well, are clean etc. There is no edge though. I'm not unattractive but I'm certainly not super attractive either. A little plain and boring, if anything. My plan for the 60 DoD challenge is to search for inspirations and put together a lookbook of dif…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/23 03:33 PM
1

Then why are you initiating and trying to fuck. It's all in the post, perhaps you missed it. this is what the world should see you as, just a man who fucks and sex is important? The world doesn't give a flying fuck about me. Why should I care what the world should see me as?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/23 07:25 PM
1

Either you get to fuck her exactly the way you want and imagine. OR You get to train outcome independence, sexual leadership and not settling for anything other than what you want. That's a good way to frame it, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 09:13 PM
1

You hesitated and then got pulled into her frame. I haven't thought about it at the time or when writing my OYS but you're right. It would've been better to just leave. I really believe in initiating when you actually want to fuck and just going for what you want with dominance and without a second thought (barring overt No's). I agree in general. The problem is that I'm still afraid of going for what I want and I can't initiate with total outcome independence and IDGAF attitude. Which means the…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 10:34 AM
3

OYS#6 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 82.1kg (181lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 6, 4, 3 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 7, 6, 6 DL - 140kg (309lbs) 4, 3, 2 OHP - 55kg (121lbs) 7, 7 Reading: Currently reading 1-2-3 Magic. Lifting: Difficult week. I lifted 4 times but lost reps on both bench and deadlift. As discussed in my last OYS, I dropped 200 kcal this week. This, together with poor sleep likely led to me struggling with the weight on compoun…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/23 09:33 AM
1

Good post, thanks. To me this is the easiest, yet absolutely fundamental part of the journey. For everyone like me with nice hair I recently bought a hair and scalp fragrance and it's a game changer. Don't have time to wash your hair or don't want to do it for the 3rd time that day? No problem. Rinse it, dry it and put some fragrance on. Smells amazing. As far as pubes go, I'm not going to say to shave them so you look like a porn star I've been trimming them with a #2 for a while now and it's h…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/23 07:19 AM
1

But if you want to enforce a specific boundary, "I won't have sex unless xyz." You have to decide if xyz is worth it. I don't think it's a specific boundary. Rather a standard I want to set and enforce. I want to have mutually enjoyable, passionate and frequent sex. May or may not be with my wife but it's important. I agree these behaviours are a symptom of a bigger problem - me. I'm working on fixing that. Would it make you happy if you got compliance with everything you listed? I'm not interes…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/23 06:54 AM
1

I don't think trying to fight the behavior was helpful. Because she'd still do it sometimes? Or was there another reason? I now think this is all just an honest reflection of her not being that immersed/into it... yet. It is, agreed. Why put up with it though if you're the prize? she says, "we've still got so much Christmas shopping to do!" I say, "yeah, talk dirty to me bitch." Nice. Think about how to up the immersion. Assuming I won't just get up and leave, this is key. It is my immersion I n…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/23 08:49 PM
2

The reality is by not putting up with it you become that guy. I agree this is the way forward, thanks for the reminder.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/23 08:33 PM
1

If the sex isn't up to your standards, just up and leave. Intuitively that's exactly what I want to do. I'm pretty sure a guy who really has his shit together wouldn’t put up with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 09:54 PM
3

OYS#5 I’ve had some issues with my account and had to set-up a new one. 36, married 9y, together 19y, 2 y/o child 181cm (5’11”), 82.6kg (182lbs), ~14%bf (navy method) Current lifts: Bench - 92.5kg (204lbs) 6, 5, 5 Squat - 115kg (254lbs) 7, 6, 6 DL - 140kg (309lbs) 5, 4, 4 OHP - 55kg (121lbs) 7, 7 Reading: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MMSLP, The Mindful Attraction Plan, Steel’s Guide, The Way of the Superior Man, Book of Pook, Sex God Method, Red Pill Handbook, TRP sidebar, Models, Bang, Day Bang, Fuccfiles, …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 04:00 PM
2

I'm currently somewhere around 14% bf, just finished week 6 of a cut. I was planning to continue cutting for another 6 weeks at a rate of ~1lbs per week, followed by a 4 week maintenance phase, followed by another 5-6 weeks of cutting to get me to 8%bf @ 170lbs, which is my goal. I was 12% bf in the past but I want to see what sub-10% bf looks like on me now. While the cut is slow, I have no major issues with diet / training adherence. In fact, I was able to make progress on weight / reps across…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/23 09:19 PM
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