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The_Red_Letters Archive

View 1 post and 410 comments by The_Red_Letters on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
101

The_Red_Letters/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/21 04:19 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

You have a weak frame. Frame is unbelievably easy to maintain in casual relationships or with plates. The relationship doesn’t get deep enough for it to even be tested much. You’re spending lots of time alone and doing what you want in life in these situations by default. LTR is where your frame gets tested. Ideally you’re inviting somebody to step into your frame. Before anyone is going to do that, she’ll need to test it to make sure it’s not made of weak bullshit. Losing your sense of self is …
/r/askMRP15/02/24 05:24 PM
28

Jesus man. The level of obsessing you’re doing about other guys dicks is just downright cucky. I get it, you want a woman who’s pure or whatever, but getting her to describe the rubber on a guys dick and asking who she sucked off on the past is just wildly insecure weirdo shit. I can tell by the amount of micro managing your girl’s past cock-intake that you’re doing, you have no life outside of her. Which is real trouble at 2 months into a relationship. Get the other men’s dicks out of your head…
/r/askMRP08/02/24 05:20 AM
2

For example, it’s very common that she will order me around to help with housework and I will oblige. I even feel happy doing it but I am not in control. This is just you failing to lead here. Don’t you like living in a clean house? You seem to, and you seem to enjoy doing house work. Take a little initiative and make a plan for yourself on when you’ll clean. Then if she comes at you, you can say “listen, it’s handled, don’t worry about it.” You’re setting yourself up for a mother son dynamic by…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 02:46 PM
4

I have no friends. I had friends but I lost touch with them after I met my wife. My fault but too late to fix. This is a huge issue and should be near the top of your list of things to fix. It’s going to affect all other areas of your life. You’ve made your wife your whole world and trust me, she doesn’t want that.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/24 02:34 PM
2

In my opinion it’s fine to fake it. Probably even somewhat helpful. But don’t expect faking those things to do the work in changing your fucked up mental models. Faking it isn’t the work, but it can help clear some space while you do the work. They’re general rules to keep things on track in the mean time. The real issue is that you’re looking at your wife’s reaction to your faking it to see if it’s ’working.’ Take your focus entirely off that. Your MAP is definitely a more useful place for that…
/r/askMRP06/02/24 02:38 AM
34

This is much deeper than just “don’t be butthurt and unattractive to my wife.” That’s just you trying to game the system without addressing your issues. You can probably pull it off for a while, but you’ll always be a sad baby dressed up as a pickup artist. Think about it. The reason your wife not being receptive to your touch burns you so bad is because all of your feelings about yourself are tied up in her opinion of you. “If she doesn’t want me, I must be bad.” Changing how you act after that…
/r/askMRP03/02/24 11:24 PM
1

I'm just plain afraid of success. I'm afraid of becoming really fit and strong, realizing the difference it makes to my mindset and how the world treats me, and being confronted by the falseness of my mental models and all the squandered years. I'm afraid of being too successful and rising financially above of my peers, "disconnecting" from them and losing the friendship on the way. You’re probably going to confront this over and over again. Once you get over the fear this time, you’ll level up,…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/24 09:04 PM
2

Post it today.
/r/askMRP30/01/24 08:45 PM
9

If you don’t have the discipline and time to write a quick post here you will never have the time and discipline to actually make meaningful change in your life. Just give up. Or alternatively, man up and write it and post it this week. Nobody here gives a shit about the details and background and all the little things your wife does that make you butthurt. Figure out what you’re going that’s fucking up. Post what you are going to do this week to fix it. Broadly choose what direction you want yo…
/r/askMRP25/01/24 06:02 AM
4

Bro. This is pathetic. That chart only tells me one thing and it’s how deeply in her frame you are. Talking bad about her doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a dude who’s fucking an “ogre land whale” whose “past her prime” and making charts about it. You talk a big game about having better options but ask yourself this. If that’s the case, why are you settling for something so far below your best? You’ve got a lot of ego but it’s thin and fragile. I get that you’re angry about this. I would be t…
/r/askMRP22/09/23 03:35 PM
69

A lot of she’s in this report. Meaning, you’re still tracking your success largely by the effect it has on your woman. As long as that’s the stick by which you’re measuring, you’re going to be in her frame to some degree. Keep moving forward with the progress. Also spend some time thinking more deeply about what YOU want. Where is your life going? What progress are you making that is measured in other ways besides your wife?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/23 01:22 AM
1

I have started to eat healthy and trying to reduce comfort foods. With all the shit thats been going on, I have resorted to eating sugary stuff. Don’t try to reduce comfort foods. Eliminate them. You’re 25% fat. You’ll never outwork a bad diet in the gym. You don’t need treats. You’re a man. Setting vague goals like this means you never have to truly own when you fuck up. Get specific about what you’re doing. Don’t say you want ‘a better marriage’ and to ‘eat healthier.’ You can’t measure those.…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/23 03:39 AM
16

The future state wasn’t misinterpreted you just accidentally told a truth you’re not seeing yet. Your goal is still dependant on her feelings about it. Otherwise you would say “I want to be a strong leader” but you added that you want her to want to follow. I’ve been there. The nice guy roots run deep and your speech will often betray your intentions even if you aren’t conscious of it yet. That’s why people here hammer so hard about focusing on yourself. Because otherwise, guys will follow the s…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/23 10:03 PM
20

Dude. You spend your preamble talking about how your single mom made you a people pleasing nice guy who does whatever it takes to make women like you. Then you state your future state goals to be to make your wife like you. Do you not see that? I can tell by reading this you’re boring and don’t take ownership in your life. You tried to present handling the fridge situation as a (literal) gift to mommy so she’ll tell you you’re a good boy. Instead of just what a man does in his own house. You’re …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/23 09:02 PM
2

Did fap once, again… Need to do better. The issue here isn’t so much that you tapped is that your can’t even keep your word to yourself. You can’t trust yourself. You want to be a man who leads is his own mental point of origin? That’s starts with you trusting yourself first. Why would anyone else follow you when you can even depend on yourself to do what you say? Relationship She’s still under a lot of pressure at work… This whole section is you working backwards and trying to reverse engineer …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/23 10:53 PM
5

OYS 58 What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. It's been six months since I nuked my LTR. I've been experimenting a lot, calibrating and wanted to review and collect my thoughts. Newly Single The first couple of months after braking things off my ex really tried to destroy me. Posting about me constantly on social media, starting some vicious rumours, directly messaging acquaintances about me and even going as far as messaging my close friends to try and turn them against me. I w…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/07/23 03:22 PM
11

OYS 57 33 | 5’10” | 162 LBS - 15% BF SQ175x5 DL 235x5 BP125x5 What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Currently on vacation traveling but have had some thoughts so I’m checking in to help me organize and record them. I’m one week into a vacation traveling overseas. I’m by myself which has been perfect exactly what I needed. Traveling alone reminds me of one of the NMMNG exercises. It’s a chance to do exactly what you want to do all the time without considering anyone else’s feeli…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/23 08:51 AM
5

I’m only on chapter 5 so far but holy shit. This is exactly the book I needed right now. Not surprising considering my unconscious spit out basically the same myth as Iron John with different details. I appreciate you spotting it and steering me towards the book. Myth and metaphors are really compatible with how my mind works so this is already a powerful book to me. I’m going to follow up more once I’ve made more progress and digested a bit.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 06:45 PM
2

Good call. I was thinking in the span of a year. I don’t know if 25 is possible in a year but i think it’s likely a good number as an overall goal. Appreciate it.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 06:29 PM
1

This is getting better. Next week write less about what other people are up to and how you’re reacting and more about what you’re proactively doing towards each of these goals. What have you done in the past week to get stronger? What will you do next week? What have you done in the last week to increase finances? What will you do next week? Etc. Also, put some thought into a few sentence mission
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 04:07 PM
1

Do you have a mission, or any overarching goals. Why are you here and what are you working towards?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 12:30 PM
5

Next week when you write your OYS do it without using any MRP terminology. Focus less on what others around you are doing and feeling and more on what you are DOING or have done. I think it will make for a more useful post.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 12:16 PM
2

It seems like a few things happened that have made you angry lately. Anytime something makes you irrationally angry it always means there’s something deeper there to be uncovered. Like you found out with the work thing. You would never get that angry at a little disrespect. But because you’d set up a covert contract that if you do _____ at work you will be respected and approved of, when the disrespect happened it undermined your whole plan and you got hit with resentful anger. Anytime you’re tr…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 12:04 PM
1

Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll check it out today. Interested to learn what exactly you mean by this.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/23 02:31 PM
4

OYS 55 33 | 5’10” | 162 LBS - 15% BF SQ175x5 DL 235x5 BP125x5 What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Dream: Whenever something is seriously out of balance in my life I end up having a vivid recurring dream about it. It often won’t subside until I fix the issue. Near the end of my relationship I started having one. Some background. I own a cabin in the wood. I used to live in it with my dog who’s since died. That dog has a streak of wild in him. He was good but loved to be wild. …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/23 12:58 PM
2

However, I am bored of boring sex and I’d rather not to have it and save my energy for gym or work. You said yourself that it’s your fault it’s boring. Your solution to boring sex is to have no sex? Do you see what’s wrong with that?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/23 08:18 PM
1

Good shit thank you. I’ve been doing starting strength for a program but I’ll look into GSLP. Physical is where my focus is going to be for the rest of the year. I make a good income and have decent game but i have so much room for improvement with my current build. Excited to see what a years worth of work will do for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/23 08:12 PM
3

My last OYS got shit on… That’s the point. You post stupid shit, people call you out in it. Then the next week you try to do and post some shit that’s less stupid and so on. Catching shit means you’ve found a way to be better. Don’t clam up about it, that’s just ego. Keep working.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/23 10:30 PM
1

This analogy is great. Thanks for sharing that.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/23 08:37 PM
1

If this is the highlights from a weeks work of work you are heading nowhere fast. Did you really accomplish nothing this week? What are you going to do about that next week?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/23 08:08 PM
3

Only been well enough to be back in the gym for a month now. I’ve added 30lbs to my squat since getting back at it. I was weak as fuck from being sick. Your point is well taken though. This is a huge area for Improvement right now. I’m in the gym 3x per week and eating good. Good question about ONS. I think the only real upside is novelty and not needing to put any thought at all into how I’m going to manage the FWB relationship. Basically it’s me getting my immediate needs met without spending …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/23 07:32 PM
12

Thing are definitely good. For guys reading along (especially newer guys), nuking isn’t what fixed things, it’s the result of things being fixed. Without this place, without doing the work, owning my shit, overcoming validation seeking, killing the nice guy, reading the side bar, understanding women, learning to lift etc, nuking would have just put me into the beginning of the cycle again. Because I did that work I know where I want to go instead. That’s the stuff that put me in the correct path…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/23 06:10 PM
1

Mission: To embrace and enjoy the journey, come what may. This is very passive for a mission. “Enjoy whatever happens to me.” I’d challenge you to put some thought into what you actually want out of your life. If you had some control over what comes your way, what would you enjoy most? What do you want?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/23 05:30 PM
4

The thing that I am now looking for is the next level. What do you mean by this? What is the next level to you? What do you want to have that you don’t currently?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/23 01:18 PM
22

OYS 54 33 | 5’10” | 162 LBS - 15% BF SQ170x5 DL 235x5 BP120x5 What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental: I feel the best I have in years. I didn’t realize how much stress I was under until it all ended. I’ve been meditating and journaling 2-3 times a week. I was seeing a therapist and getting some good insights from it. The therapist I was seeing was a bit of a chump and kind of fell apart on me / wasn’t reliable so I’ve ended with him. May or may not restart with someone el…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/23 01:04 PM
3

OYS 53 34 | 5’10” | 160 LBS - 15% BF newly single Not going to list lifts because I was in the hospital again this past week and it's all gone to shit. Starting again this week so I'll see where I'm at. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. MENTAL - I've been on and off. I've been quitting coffee, alcohol, sugar and nicotine so it's had me on low days but when I level off I feel more solid than I have in years. I'm finding my true baseline that I haven't been at in over a decad…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/23 11:09 PM
1

I am obviously not doing as well as I thought I was. I am sure I am also not attractive enough to push for more. Right now. And as I wrote above - I am around the house too much. I already started getting out of the house in the evenings to do something. I have to do this more. There’s a covert contract in here. Can you tell what it is?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/23 10:29 PM
2

Careful not to trade your DEERING for running away from her whenever there’s conflict. That’s not frame either. Stand solid in your convictions about things. If things aren’t going anywhere good and you’ve got better things to do, by all means go do them. But grabbing your shit and leaving the room every time you don’t get your way is butthurt, not frame. You’ll learn the difference as you get in reps. Just keep an eye on things.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/23 10:25 PM
2

What Do I want: I want to be someone people gravitate towards and want to be around. This basically says you want people to like you. That’s nice guy bullshit. People aside, what do you want for yourself? Forget anyone else’s opinion. What do you want.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/23 10:19 PM
2

Your post is full of bizarre interactions where you are deeply in your woman’s frame. Step one is definitely STFU but you also need to spend some time figuring out what you actually want. You can’t make progress until you know where you’re going. Why are you writing this? What do you hope to achieve?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/23 10:09 PM
4

Mission: To be the best man I can for me and my family, and to be a man that sets a good example for my son. To be someone that other men respect. Also, this feels shallow, but I want female attention. Almost all of this has to do with how other people think and feel about you. That’s not good. Boil this down a bit and it equates to “I want people to like me” That’s how you’ve been living already. That’s where the covert contracts, giving your time away and not standing up for yourself all come …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/23 10:58 PM
2

This is helpful. It’s also making me realize that a piece of what I crave is a more true self actualization. I’ve been in relationships my whole life. The self actualization I’ve done has always been in opposition, cooperation or at the very least in proximity of someone else. I’ve made progress while in relationships but I think the time has come to put in some work on myself without consideration for anyone else. I’m seeing that as a big part of the creation phase for myself. Nailing down my o…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/23 10:15 PM
1

33 | 5’10” | 160 LBS - 15% BF newly single OHP 95x5 SQ170x5 DL 235x5 BP120x5 What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. PLATES - I noticed that once I had dating apps i immediately started using them compulsively. Part of that is the novelty but part is validation. I’ve deleted them for now until I get my head together a little more. I’ve got an appointment with a male therapist to run through my thoughts on this. I’m not sure if this will be worthwhile but I’m interested to try. ME…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/23 03:55 PM
3

OYS 51 33 | 5’10” | 160 LBS - 15% BF newly single OHP 95x5 SQ170x5 DL 235x5 BP120x5 What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. PLATES - I read the HumanSockPuppet’s Guide to Managing Your Bitches this week and it gave a good mental framework to use going forward. Kind of basic but I need this kind of thing because my only model previous has been dating leading into monogamy. Need to find more to read this week. I’ve got a couple of dates lined up this week. Was honest out of the gat…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/23 02:51 PM
7

But instead of sulking about not getting much sex I was confrontational with my wife and made vague suggestions there would be repercussions if things didn’t change. You cannot negotiate desire.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/23 02:11 PM
3

My aim for this time around is going to be talk less - do more. career Pretty slow in this area if I am being honest… I want to start looking into secondary incomes - but I have honestly always struggled with this. Finances are an area I need to work on. Good talk, now what are you going to do about it. Starting this week. Marriage The more I lead, the more my wife listens. When I fuck up in this area, she picks up the slack. What are you going to do about it. Sex I can't complain about sex if I…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/23 02:08 PM
1

However, sometimes I get too comfortable. When pussy is wet and often available I have a tendency to go overboard & get comfortable I’m sure you’re noticing there is a pattern here. Now ask yourself why.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/23 02:00 PM
3

OYS 50 33 | 5’10” | 160 LBS - 15% BF Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ170x5 DL 235x5 BP120x5 What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. I’ve been off of here for a while, figuring things out. I just ended my relationship and it’s January so it felt like a good time to write an OYS There’s not much to say about separating other than it’s done. I realized I was unhappy and it wasn’t going to change without ending things so I did. We’re cohabitating for now but moving soon. What ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/23 01:53 PM
5

Being a simp and being a leader are completely different things. A simp does whatever his wife wants to keep her happy. He might trick himself into thinking he’s leading by trying to preemptively do everything before she can ask. That’s still just following her lead just with more steps. A leader does things because he wants to and because it’s the best path forward for his family. Then he invites or instructs them where they can play a role should they chose to follow. No amount of doing what y…
/r/askMRP23/10/22 01:13 PM
2

⁠I haven't been able to stop DEERing entirely as sometimes I do it as a reflex without thinking, …… I have created a cue for myself - feeling frustrated? → AA dont DEER This is where STFU was really helpful to me. It’s a good baby step to stop DEERing even if you’re shit at AA. Feeling frustrated > STFU is a lot easier and there’s no middle ground where you can lie to yourself about if you were DEERing or not.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/22 05:53 PM
3

No, I’m not. There are some common law implication as a worst case, but really nothing major. I’m on a good position to split should I choose to.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/22 03:35 PM
2

That’s a great point. It’s definitely not off the table and I keep the option in mind. I’ve come close a couple of times. As a counterpoint, every time I’ve come close to nuking things I’ve learned a valuable lesson about myself and it’s lead me to uncover more of my bullshit. For now, this woman, or maybe just being this deep into things, is a mirror like I’ve never had before. My bullshit is reflected back to me quicker and more clearly as a result. I’m able to make progress that I suspect wou…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/22 01:39 PM
3

OYS 49 33 | 5’10” | 160 LBS - 15% BF Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ170x5 DL 235x5 BP120x5 What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental Took some time off posting to get out of my head and do some shit. Glad I did. I needed some time and space to see the big picture instead of focusing on weekly battles so much. During the past year as I’ve been making changes I spent a lot of time frustrated. The more I took charge the more frustrated I got. I didn’t like leading because…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/22 12:30 PM
5

Jesus Christ what a mess. Do not negotiate desire. Especially if you fucking such at negotiating. You really suck at it. You’re absolutely desperate for approval from your wife through her submission and it’s fucking pathetic.
/r/askMRP03/07/22 04:29 PM
2

That’s a great point, thanks. I said I’d broken the link but as you point out that likely isn’t the case. It’s definitely a much smaller piece of the pie for me now though. I think that actually kind of explains what I was saying about sex feeling less important. It’s just one part of the validation pie now instead of being the whole thing. I’ve got a lot of great stuff I love doing for myself that make me feel validated. Traveling alone or hiking/ camping in the deep woods by myself is a big on…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/22 01:04 AM
2

Your sex / relationship section reads like you’re throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks. Problem is you’re using your wife’s approval as the measure of what’s working. A big lesson at MRP is that using your wife as a way to figure out what to do might get you laid here and there, it might get you special acts validation, but it puts you on her path and that path doesn’t lead anywhere good for you. You’re kind of trying red pill and blue pill things in equal measure hoping one will lead to…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/22 01:50 PM
8

OYS 47 33 | 5’10” | 160 LBS - 15% BF Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 265x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. This week is a year since I started OYS. Naturally that’s got me reflecting on the past year and my progress. In some ways I’m behind where I’d hoped. Being sick and having surgery kept me out of the gym long enough I’m basically starting from scratch. In other asp…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/22 01:30 PM
1

OYS 46 32 | 5’10” | 155 LBS - 15% BF Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 265x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Physical: Went on an absolutely punishing 4 day hike last week. I actually thought at one point that I may not be able to complete it. Pushed through and made it back home, minus a couple of toenails. Currently have covid. Not very sick from it but had to cancel my…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/22 02:31 PM
2

I have a lot of work to do on frame. I'm not sure how to even develop it yet. I’ll share what worked for me. First, definitely STFU. This will help establish a base layer of not stepping on you’re own dick too much. The beginning stages of building frame are actually more about removing shit that’s getting in the way. You’ll need to spend some time removing yourself from other peoples frames. Focus hard on identifying your validation seeking behaviours. These are the opposite of frame. They are …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/22 07:28 PM
2

First off, good on you for making some changes and doing things. You’re on the right path. Before MRP, I wasn't getting sex… I got to have sex once a month... I'd get occasional sex… will manipulate her into giving me what I want. See how much you have sex framed as something your wife gives you? That’s a good tell that you’re still in her frame in a big way. I tried a thing from SGM with teasing and holy shit it backfired, I did not have the SMV to pull it off There’s a reason everyone here sta…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/22 02:06 PM
1

Something I’m selfishly wishing doesn’t happen, but I know I feel I have the obligation to do so. This might be Nice Guy conditioning/behaviour, I’m not sure. That feeling of obligation is based in the guilt you’ll feel from not doing it. Anytime you do something you don’t want to do to avoid feeling guilt or shame you’re in nice guy territory. Learning to say no without feeling guilty is so important somebody wrote a whole book about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/22 04:27 AM
1

There’s a possibility of a firm providing more of a certain kind of autonomy. Meaning, you get the backdrop of an established business that you’re an agent of and there’s a lot of stuff you just don’t have to worry about. If they’re smart, I’m willing to bet that autonomy grows as long as you’re putting up good numbers and furthering the business. I think there’s a balance of freedom vs headache to figure out. My last gig didn’t have as much freedom was I wanted and there wasn’t a good path ther…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/22 04:12 PM
2

OYS 45 32 | 5’10” | 155 LBS - 15% BF Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 265x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Physical Sepsis is a mother fucker to recover from. I get tired doing everything. My focus for now is recovering and maintaining a few good habits to keep me on track. Everything else has to wait. I’ve switch my diet up with the focus being on recovery. - Lots of a…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/22 01:29 PM
4

I made a similar decision about 2 years ago. For me the decision wasn’t so much - more money now with growing pains later or pains now for a higher ceiling later like what you’re facing. Or maybe it was, but I looked at it differently. My biggest decision was which path facilitated the lifestyle I wanted more. I think either could have lead to enough money to make me happy. For me, freedom rules everything I do. It’s what I crave far more than money, fame or power. For that reason I chose to str…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/22 01:53 AM
2

I think one of my many mental issues is I still have this internalized idea that somehow my life must be guided by the partner I choose. I justify this to myself because I very much want kids, thus I tell myself an integral part of my journey has to be selecting/finding a worthy partner. If this is truly the cause of your feeling that a woman must guide your life (and I’m pretty sceptical of that) than the fix is pretty easy. Redirect that focus on one of the many other ways you can prepare your…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/22 01:15 PM
1

I definitely do cycle like that. When I was younger the poles were father apart and I would burn out and crash into a depression before becoming almost manic as I push myself harder to recover. The poles have moved steadily closer and I have some of the answers of what drives the cycle but I’m curious about the insights the book offers. I’ll check it out. For me a big cause was that my parents instilled an unsustainable work ethic in me when I was younger and really heaped on guilt when I would …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/22 06:39 PM
1

My whole OYS last week was about self-sabotage. I liked reading your thoughts on it in your post today. It’s a sneaky fucker and if you’re not watching for it, it will keep you in your comfort rather than moving to the next stage of growth. Thanks for this. I’ve got both eyes forward again.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/22 02:26 PM
1

Okay on second look I understand better. Thanks for expanding. I’m not hoping I’ve ‘made it’ but what you said about how I’m attaching to it is true. I was definitely hoping it was a sign of my progress. But I was ego protecting by denying that. It’s exactly what I said it wasn’t: using my wife as a measure. It caught my attention because it played out really similarly to how I’ve seen it written here. Now I see how I had one eye on it hoping it was a mile marker.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/22 02:11 PM
1

Honestly, no. I’m not where I want to be still. My life isn’t where I want it to be yet and so using my wife as an arbitrary measure of having ‘made it’ doesn’t hold much appeal. I included it for the sake of note sharing, and because it was a new experience but like I said, I don’t think it’s worth looking into too deeply.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/22 01:54 PM
2

Your whole relationship section is pretty reactionary. Do you have a plan where you want to take this? Is there a goal state besides fucking on the side and then stopping when your wife finds out?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/22 01:30 PM
2

OYS 44 32 | 5’10” | 155 LBS - 15% BF Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 265x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental I’ve had a lot on my mind since last week. I got a great tear down on the live stream that echoed some thoughts that Blarg had commented on my OYS. The answers from here on out aren't going to come from a book, it’s time to find my own way forward. I’m glad …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/22 01:10 PM
1

I appreciate the notes, especially from someone who’s got some experience. I’m putting my sole focus on weeding out and killing off this mindset and it’s behaviours. I’ve seen glimpses of what life’s like as I act more selfishly and it’s the life I want. It’s a win / win change and the only thing stopping me is me. No excuses. As for kids, I’m never having children so that isn’t a concern. Your point is taken though. I’m fucking up on selfish easy mode, I currently wouldn’t stand a chance on har…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/22 04:21 PM
2

That’s a great mental model for getting traction against really stubborn nice guy tendencies. Thanks for sharing that. Nice guy tendencies die hard. I’ve seen that response you’re talking about and I know it’s true. Just a matter of keeping on top of it and noticing when the impulse pops up. I’m going to use that mindset you mention. Turn the sacrificing behaviour in on itself. Good to note it’s not the end state but it’s a way through.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/22 08:38 PM
8

Women will forget history entirely for a man worth it. It's all about what she feels right now. I learned this The From Way of the Superior Man: “The bad news your excellent track record means nothing to your woman. The good news; your terrible track record means just as little.” u/NoRolexNoSex if you haven’t heard of this book it’s, you guessed it, on the sidebar. Starting to see why everyone is pointing you there? Start at the beginning, there’s some other books you need more at the beginning.
/r/askMRP05/05/22 08:05 PM
6

no sex for 2 weeks and she revoked my touching privileges, What you’ve written here reveals who’s the prize in this relationship. Hint, it’s not you. My thing is Im starting to think that I should move out for a week to give her space and the opportunity to experience life without me. Anything you do with the goal of winning her back is going to be a waste of time. Stop looking for a shortcut and do what everyone else does. Lift, read the sidebar, try things and post in the OYS thread. Anything …
/r/askMRP05/05/22 07:33 PM
3

Blarg, I’m very glad you linked to that u/BarracudaRP comment. I’d read it before and it resonated with me in a big way. I wasn’t ready to do anything about it at that point though. Now it’s come back to me at a perfect time. Truth is I’d flipped the chess board on my life before I ever found MRP. I said to hell with how anyone thinks I should be living and to hell with the games and struck out into a life that was strange and completely of my own making. The thing is, I hadn’t learned to play t…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/22 01:56 PM
1

I need to follow “stay plan is the go plan” but how? When the go plan would be spending lots of time away with other women.. I’ve had an affair, it was a headache. I don’t want to do that again. So your stay plan is your wife and the go plan is other women? Women should be a compliment to your life not the focus of it. If you can’t put together a plan for yourself that stays consistent no matter what women you invite into it, that’s a big problem. You definitely need to untangle what you truly w…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/22 08:55 PM
2

There’s some nuance here. I’m sure more guys here are looking to take control of their lives, become better and have more options. The difference is when you start looking for specific actions from your wife in response to your own actions. You can’t control other people. If you do X looking for Y from her you’ll fail every time. However if you do X because it will make you better and your life will be improve and have better options, independent of your wife’s actions, that’s something you can …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 09:35 PM
3

Its not quite the quality of sex I want to have, but I'm not the quality of man I want to be. This is a covert contract worth squashing right out of the gate. Right now it’s pretty clear you’ve got an expectation that “become a better man = get better sex” As long as that’s directing things in the background your self improvement is just a dance.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 04:19 PM
1

Thank you, Blarg. That perspective is helpful. I know the next steps are up to me. I think I was looking for a way to add some structure to my exploring. That might just be busy work though. A way to trick myself into the validation of forward progress instead of listening. Some time to reflect might serve me better. I have a strong drive to explore naturally. That part will come. I’ll take some time to breath and look around and see what looks interesting to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 02:33 PM
1

I would find it helpful.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 01:29 PM
2

OYS 43 32 | 5’10” | 155 LBS - 15% BF Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 265x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Physical: Good week. I'm recovering well. I saw a photo of myself from when I was in the hospital. I've been close to death 3-4 times in my life. Like proper close. This one wasn't right to the edge but I wasn't too far either. Grateful for the way I'm recovering. …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 01:25 PM
3

I hate my situation and have contemplated divorce, but I simply don't want to give up that easily, although I'll give up if MRP doesn't work. This is my last chance. This is a fucked up mental model you need to sort out. MRP doesn’t ‘work’ if you get a certain result from your wife. You don’t want to give up if you don’t get that result. How about instead: if thing go like A I will do option #1 and build the life I want. If things go like B I will do option #2 and build the life that I want. See…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/22 11:36 PM
4

Hahah to be fair it sounds like he’s in a D/s relationship already. He just might not be playing the role he was hoping for.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/22 11:24 PM
3

I was trying to think of the best way to say that and you nailed it. She’s not sabotaging you u/hot_cactus she’s just saying things. Things that she probably thinks are the right things to say. It’s up to you to know what the right choices and directions for your own life are and stay the course.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/22 12:55 PM
2

I have a course booked before my license to get me up to speed quickly and learn the fundamentals. Then I’ll probably spend a season getting nice and comfortable on the roads. I love the idea of a coach for dirt. I know a couple guys that drive motocross professionally so I have some contacts I could ask for a lesson. I wouldn’t have thought of that, thanks for the idea. Man I’m excited. Freedom is my guiding light in life and nothing says freedom more to me than jumping on a bike and hitting th…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/22 12:52 PM
1

I spotted it easily because I went through the same process. It won’t come naturally to you to figure out what you want. You should schedule time to think and daydream about it. Then as your mind is wandering pay attention to the ideas that get you really excited. Those are directions worth heading in. Don’t rush figuring out your mission. For now make it a priority to think about the possibilities and try on some ideas.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/22 12:49 PM
2

When I started again, things were about to be really shitty … but I can feel the fire starting to fade now that things are "okay" again. It seems like the mission is the driving force or fire for a lot of people, but I still don't understand what makes it good or different from a goal. The mission is the difference between being reactive and being proactive. So far, you’ve been reactive. You’ve only done the work to get yourself out of a hole and then you give up once your head is above water ag…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/22 01:51 AM
1

Awesome. I’ve wanted to do this for years but never have because it wasn’t practical. I’ve realized now that ‘just because I want to’ is more than enough reason for me to do things. Definitely want to get into adventure riding. I live in a great place for it and have a buddy with a bike I already do some backwoods camping and hiking with so it’ll be a great opportunity. I also love doing shit solo so that’s even better.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 03:34 PM
1

I wore one of my new outfits that is out of my normal fashion comfort zone on Saturday night. Rather than feel awkward and like people were looking and judging me, I made the conscious effort to rock it with confidence. Hell yeah, good shit. This is what I think of when people talk about “pulling off” an outfit or look. It’s picking clothes that are congruent with who you are, even if they’re on your edge, and then wearing them with confidence.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 02:41 PM
6

I was surprised when she said "you know I love you the way you are". Women will “I love you just how you are” you all the way into a beta they are completely unattracted to. Have you seen the way most women dress their husbands when they are put in charge of it? Like fat toddlers. Get the haircut you want. Watch what she does, not what she says.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 02:36 PM
5

OYS 42 32 | 5’10” | 155 LBS - 15% BF Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 265x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Physical: As u/BarracudaRP put it, "getting better every day." I'm able to walk again and work in a limited capacity. Still prioritizing rest and sleep above all. Been eating all things fermented this week to build back up some gut bacteria after a blast of insanel…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 02:27 PM
3

At some point in the first session I told her “You’re my little slut” while fucking her, and she immediately froze and said “What did you just say?” and I answered “I said I like your little butt” and continued as normal. Avoid saying things you’ll walk back if you are even asked to repeat it. That was her asking herself “is this a guy worthy of being a little slut for? Does this guy have the frame necessary for me to let go and follow” You responded immediately by proving you are not that guy. …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/22 06:35 PM
3

Hell yeah. Thanks for this man. Better every day is the way. Normally that means adding 10lbs to a lift, 10% to business revenue or improving a mental model. For now, it means walking a few more steps every day and sitting upright a bit longer each day. The goals change based on circumstance but the mindset is the same. There’s a lot to learn from every challenge if I let myself be open to it.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/22 05:49 PM
34

OYS 41 Hell week # 2 Fuck me another medical thing but this time much worse. Had a random abscess and went to a clinic. Got misdiagnosed and sent home. Mid week I ended up with sepsis and went to hospital by ambulance. Worst pain of my life. CT scan shows the abscess is now ‘very very big’ as the surgeon put it. Get put on boatloads of antibiotics and prepped for emergency surgery. Fucking brutal pain and recovery has been horrible. Can’t walk, can’t sleep can’t do fuck all. It’s going to be a w…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 01:05 PM
2

If you’re going to base your decision on your wife’s reaction to it why don’t you just ask her?
/r/askMRP08/04/22 03:42 AM
1

Thank you. I find it’s very easy to feel fear and react to it without ever even thinking about it. That’s why I get so much value out of this place. Taking the time to write it out brings it all up to the level of consciousness. Then next time you feel the fear come up instead of reacting and cowering, you can be proactive and take the leap.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/22 01:34 PM
1

It sounds like you’ve got TRT up on a pedestal as the solution to a lot of problems. Will it help you? Maybe, probably, I don’t know. But there’s no reason you can’t start doing the work now. You’re going to start lifting after you start TRT? Why? Start now. Learn the movements, lifts and most importantly discipline. Then when you start TRT it will improve the results. You’re talking yourself in circles here. Lots of stuff you’re going to do, might do and will probably do. Do some stuff.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/22 02:16 PM
18

Men trading notes.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/22 04:54 PM
3

She got there, asked, I gave her a reason. She agreed and dropped it. Two minutes later, I offered a second reason for no fucking reason at all. Just to listen to myself talk. Sounds to me like you don’t really trust yourself or have a good foundation of self approval/ validation. You need her to overtly approve of your decisions. Even just dropping it isn’t enough, that’s why you had to prod for a bit more proof that she approves. For me I made an extra point to shut the fuck up about stuff lik…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/22 03:56 PM
6

My wife is leading this family her way, and I don't know how I will take over the wheel. Forget any thought of taking over leading the family right now. Focus on handling your shit. Handle the stuff that you should be doing that ends up on your wife’s plate. If you try and take the wheel now it’s like having a drunk passenger try and grab the steering wheel. Fuck that. Id knock them out before I’d let that happen. Have a coffee and become a sober passenger first. Get in shape. Get your finances …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/22 02:39 PM
26

OYS 40 32 | 5’10” | 158 LBS - 15% BF (14% strongur 17% navy ) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 265x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental When I first started lurking here there was a poster called Glorious Walrus. I don’t know if anyone else remembers. He went on a real tear and then ended up nuking his account. One thing I remember specifically is his wife would buy …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/22 12:43 PM
2

OYS 39 32 | 5’10” | 158 LBS - 15% BF (14% strongur 17% navy ) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 265x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Fucking hell that that illness rocked me. Ended up not eating anything for about a week and slowly building from there. Still not 100% but I’m getting there. I had set a goal of 15% BF. Now I’m here and fairly happy with the result even if …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/22 12:30 PM
1

Thanks man. I had a pretty big setback this week that I wrote about in my most recent OYS. Been very sick / in the hospital and unable to eat for almost a week. Seem to be turning a corner now but obviously have been out of the gym as well. Going to probably have to reset a little when I get back to it. Definitely staying on the program while I build back up.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 06:02 PM
1

Thanks for this. It’s a hard one to recognize and break. Especially when you’re someone who does enjoy their work. I like what you said about relieving anxiety. Once I’m feeling better that’s the real red flag to keep my eye out for.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 08:35 PM
5

^ This is the answer. End of thread.
/r/askMRP15/03/22 06:39 PM
2

She put up resistance, but eventually she began to give in. She caught on and told me she didn’t want to have sex. Saying she caught on seems like you have this mentally framed as trying to trick your woman into sex. I said something like “you are so nasty already imagining me naked and inside of you, but I just want to touch you and be intimate.”. This was sincere. I don’t believe this part. You start this by talking about how you feel after X days without sex, not X days without touching her a…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 06:11 PM
9

Agreed. That’s what it’s all about. Men sharing notes. The value I get out of this place is profound.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 01:58 PM
1

Thanks dude.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 01:55 PM
12

OYS 38 Hell Week Ended up getting sick mid last week. Kept getting worse until I ended up on the hospital unable to eat. I haven’t eaten a single thing in three or four days. I haven’t been able to go to the gym or work and I’ve been on terrible constant pain ever since. All that aside I’m proud as fuck of a couple of things. In the past 6 months I’ve straighten my shit out enough and got my ship back on course enough that a week without the captain is not a big deal. If this happened while the …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 10:14 AM
1

You should put in some more effort to this if you want to get something out of it.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/22 12:06 AM
1

I am jumping on the train, and use it as a tool to motivate myself to reflect each week on my progress. I just hope it sticks. You literally have complete control over whether or not it sticks. If you can’t consistently take a few minutes once a week to take account of your life you’re truly hopeless. I want to learn how to please my new GF This is a pretty terrible goal that will drive you further and further into her frame. Girl: Few months ago met a girl I connected with a lot, didn’t expect …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/22 12:04 AM
1

Still, I was acting in anybody's frame but my own….Scared to say something wrong… At this point, these girls should be as insignificant to me as it gets. Why am I in their frame? You are looking for approval and validation. When you don’t have a source of validation and approval within yourself, you externalize it. When you externalize it, you’ll take whatever validation you can get. Even if it’s from a frumpy broad. Work on building self validation. A good place to start is by setting goals for…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/22 04:32 AM
1

When I returned from my trip things were definitely different with frequent sex, affection and better overall attitude. Now might be a good time to read about hysteric bonding if you haven’t before.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/22 09:23 PM
2

What it is I'm really expecting from people/kids/wife is for them to behave the way I would. I'm projecting my values onto everyone around me and getting pissed off when people don't act accordingly. Have you read NMMNG? I mean really READ it, take notes and do the exercises? It might be time for you to revisit it. This is the foundational stuff it talks about. The nice guy covert contract: if I’m nice and good people will reciprocate without me asking and I will live a smooth problem free life.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/22 09:15 PM
3

Nice, thanks dude. I appreciate the advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/22 02:19 PM
2

Started it about 6 months ago when gyms reopened here. I started from zero, never lifted before. First day in the gym I did: Squat 135 5x3 OHP 75 5x3 Bench 85 5x3 Deadlift 185 5x2
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/22 03:39 AM
2

Still doing a basic starting strength program. Probably time to start looking at other options but I still feel like a complete beginner so I’ve stuck with it so far. I like your thoughts on this though.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/22 03:23 AM
8

OYS 37 32 | 5’10” | Haven't weighed myself yet - will update later Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 265x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental I used to have a big issue with being assertive. It didn't feel natural to me and I was honestly scared of being assertive, especially if it came with conflict on any level. I knew that everything i've ever wanted was on the oth…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 02:19 PM
1

Glad we’re seeing the same thing. I didn’t even look at the post history (lol) but the text you quoted was exactly what stuck out to me too.
/r/askMRP07/03/22 09:16 PM
4

Dude, the whole point of your post here is how can it fix my frame so my girlfriend will approve of my again. That is the opposite of having your own frame. You’ve got a little paper box inside of her frame and you threw a temper tantrum and ripped it up. Now you’re asking us how to put your little paper box back together so you can show her and she’ll think you’re good again.
/r/askMRP07/03/22 05:41 PM
5

Sounds like you wasted a lot of your time and energy and got nothing out of it. I usually try and avoid doing that.
/r/askMRP07/03/22 03:13 PM
16

Instead of reviewing every 14 months you should try weekly. Like in the OYS thread. Lots of guys post there weekly with embarrassing stats and situation. You’re not so special. Guess what? The ones that keep it up improve. Your lifts haven’t improved in almost a year and you haven’t had sex in a year. You’re not putting in the work and you’re not getting results.
/r/askMRP04/03/22 01:43 AM
1

I know you’re banned right now. In your time off consider eating a whole fucking pizza
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/22 08:40 PM
7

Yeah I’ve been running a different program myself.
/r/askMRP02/03/22 04:28 PM
6

Ask her what’s going on, yourself is the relationship over?
/r/askMRP02/03/22 03:54 PM
12

My gut tells me that I am fighting against a natural progression of things (non-monogamous --> monogamous --> living together = no sex). This is not a natural progression unless you let it become one. And now she is shifting me from AF to BB overtime. What do you guys think? Thanks. She doesn’t shift you from AF to BB, you do.
/r/askMRP02/03/22 02:57 PM
7

Went to the pub for a few drinks and I was amused when she approached me demanding a good bye kiss before I left. I turned her down. This seems like a bitter resentful guy getting revenge by rejecting a woman who has rejected him. I think your mate guarding theory is just ego protection.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/22 01:54 PM
2

From my experience, this is very good advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 11:48 PM
4

There are A LOT of she’s and words about your wife here dude. Holy hell. You’re deeply in her frame. She wolf whistled at me as I got out of my car. It was genuine, too. Maybe I am making progress? As long as your wife is the stick by which you measure your success, you’re fucked.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 11:30 PM
6

Totally. I can see it clearly now. Going caveman (or any other thing you listed) is the acta non verba of freeing yourself sexually. By doing something on your edge, by necessity, you end up taking steps towards fixing that mental model and freeing yourself. It starts working even if you don’t realize that’s what you’re doing. This is good shit. You’ve got a real knack for writing stuff that’s above guys heads but giving it a hook that pulls them in and allows them to punch above their weight a …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 09:42 PM
3

I'm trying to save as much money as possible and told myself I can go without a real gym membership for now. Are you being this frugal with money across the board, or only where it provides you with a convenient excuse? Be honest. I'm a lucky, privileged, spoiled fucking brat. We all have different advantages and disadvantages. Cut the guilt and do something incredible with yours. Recently, sex has been on my mind all the time. My meditation hasn't been able to quell it. Not lifting has made it …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 06:51 PM
6

Hah! I think I’ve heard that somewhere before. Funny how that works.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 05:33 PM
3

I am trying to take the reigns in any way I can no matter how small to establish that I am the leader, or that I am calling the shots for X activity, but it’s like 9/10 I’m too late and I’m already being handed a honey-do list of some sort. I spun my wheels about this for a while. Trying to be the leader. Fact is, if you’re not worth followings it’s never going to work and you’ll just seem like a controlling resentful beta. Forget about trying to lead for now. Focus completely on owning your shi…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 03:48 PM
2

I came home after a long day from work and I passively aggressively said that "I wish I didn't have to clean the kitchen when I came home". I received the silent treatment for 30 minutes and then I played psychologist for the next 30, but at the end of the day I received a HJ. I don’t really understand what you’re getting at here but passive aggression never leads to sexual desire so the HJ was either begrudging, or in spite of your passive aggression. Not because of it. Better way to handle thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 03:22 PM
8

OYS 36 32 | 5’10” | 165 lbs BF 16.5% (17.2% navy) (15.7% Strongur) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 265x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. I’ve been pretty quiet last couple weeks. Partly because I’ve been busy and partly because I wanted to take a step back. I wanted to get my head out of the MRP clouds a bit and back into my life fully to see where I’m at. I did go and …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 03:10 PM
2

Snooping through her phone, turning down sex to get revenge and being petty are really unattractive and needy behaviours. You want to be the prize. Would the prize act that way? Hell no.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/22 02:41 AM
2

OYS 35 32 | 5’10” | 166 lbs BF 16.8% (18% navy) (15.6% Strongur) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 260x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Freedom Busy week, good week. I spent a bunch of time laying out specifics for the life I want. I took a quick rip though the book Money Master the Game. It gets in the weeds a bit too much on investment assets but it's great for layout …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 03:09 PM
1

Seems low to me too based on the photo. I could be wrong though.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 05:11 PM
3

Nice job on the fat loss this week.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 04:58 PM
1

Bf% 12?% How did you measure this?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 04:53 PM
4

I don’t think I’ve manufactured outrage, although I can see how it could be useful. I’d say what I do more of is hold tension on things as if I care a little more than I actually do. My wife loves being a brat. I don’t mind it and I think it can be kind of fun now that I know she causes shit just to get my reaction. As long as it doesn’t cross any real boundaries it’s all just part of the tension game. When I can tell that’s happening, sometimes instead of just swatting it away I’ll give her som…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 05:21 PM
5

picking everything for her when we went clothes shopping. I like this. When we go shopping my wife will always show me everything looking for my opinion. I give it honestly and she loves it. I’ve never taken it to this level before but I think we’d both love it. Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 04:26 PM
7

After reading Ragnar Daneskjold's call to stop being a "fat spineless, piece of shit lurker", I decided to actually put myself out there and begin to own my shit. This is good. Your potential for improvement just went up about 80% Now just match your effort and discipline to that potential and you’ll get there. When I do initiate I don't usually get turned down, but it is very vanilla/lacklustre, and I can tell my wife is only engaging out of duty. I guarantee she is boring because she finds sex…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 02:33 PM
3

OYS 34 Tension. 32 | 5’10” | 168lbs BF 17.8% (19% navy) (16.7% Strongur) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 260x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Great week overall. I’m really started to internalize that I am the prize. I see the value I offer the world and the hard work and discipline I’m constantly putting in. The road is long and I’ve got a lot left to do but I am the …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 02:19 PM
3

I’ll be honest I don’t really understand the point of this post. Maybe it was just to organize your thoughts by writing them out. Obviously this fertility issue is highly emotional for your wife. Especially considering, as you’re very quick to point out, “it’s her issue” All of your input here is totally just reactionary to your wife. You are not an oak, you’re a resentful little weed getting whipped around in the wind. She’s making decisions and you’re just reacting to them. Then you became res…
/r/askMRP13/02/22 06:26 PM
1

About the same as you, I think. Actually our lifts are almost exactly the same too (besides my weak ass bench) Sounds like we’re on a pretty similar trajectory over all. As far as the difficult choice you mentioned. Focus on manifesting a life so abundant with good options that there are no truly hard choices like that. Just lots of options that will all make you happy and fulfilled. That’s the way forward.
/r/askMRP11/02/22 07:51 PM
2

I had a pretty similar post not too long ago. Can’t remember if it was here or on Rian Stones page. I was asking about leadership but in reality I was just frustrated. I was frustrated that my wife was reflecting my pst shitty self to me. I was frustrated because I still had some of that “if I improve my wife will do what I want” covert contract buried under the surface. I think that’s stuff pops up in waves and new ways as you make progress. It’s natural and this place is incredible at helping …
/r/askMRP11/02/22 07:20 PM
24

Listen, you’ve got a lot of work to do on yourself and none of it involves talking to her. She’s giving you the silent treatment? Good, more time to spend getting your shit together. And yes, you are still deeply in her frame.
/r/askMRP11/02/22 05:58 PM
7

You’ve got a bit of a covert contract going because you’ve been working for 9 months on raising your value. “If I improve my value my wife will add more value to my life.” Problem is, she’s not aware of that contract and also it seems like she doesn’t see you as of high value as you see yourself. Maybe you are and maybe you aren’t, but she’s not bought in. Hypergamy tells us a woman naturally wants a man of higher value than herself. So she’s not going to feel “not good enough” just because you’…
/r/askMRP11/02/22 05:49 PM
2

STFU is useful to stop a lot of your unattractive behaviours, or at least put them on mute, while you work on actually fixing them. This is meant to put a mute on DEERing, talking about the changes you are making, negotiating desire, arguing, and on and on. Eventually you’ll be a man who doesn’t do those things, but for now the quick fix is to put all that shit on mute while you work on it. You should still be teasing, flirting and otherwise gaming your wife and other attractive women throughout…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/22 01:26 AM
2

It’s a bit of a process. For me, it involved some day dreaming, trying things, and lots of paying attention. By paying attention I mean noticing the things that make me really light up and get excited and the things that I dread. Then spend some time thinking about what the things you love have in common. For instance, I noticed that every time I start a hobby that has some real depth to it, whether that’s oil painting, cars, cooking or anything else where there’s a lot you can learn, I light up…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/22 06:35 PM
2

As I was pounding away, she said something like “you can finish inside me,” so I tried to use this as an opening for dirty talk a little later when I was approaching the finish… Me: Tell me where you want me to cum. Good on you for trying new shit. The way you approached this comes off more needy than you’re intending I think. By asking her to tell you what she wants you’re not dominating, you’re kind of validation seeking. Some better ways to phrase it would be. “I’m not going to cum in you unl…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 10:44 PM
2

Sex: I still fuck for validation (I think). I'm afraid and embarrassed by my quick finish so don't pursue it as often as I might. If you’re worried about what she thinks when you cum too fast than you are definitely fucking for validation. On the flip side, if you wanted to last longer because you enjoy fucking and wished you got to do it longer because you enjoy it, that would be in your frame. You’re not there yet though. This can be a bit of a chicken and egg situation. You’re worried what sh…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 05:41 PM
3

Some things to think about while you take your well earned break from posting. Zero. The worst part if ot all. Wife despises me. Today I made the dumb mistake of asking her for sex. She replied she's not interested in me. I am not flirting with her either. I am sick and tired of her rejections. I feel horny all the time and my wife couldn't care less. I'm fucking angry and I want to quit. You sound like a giant resentful bitch that has no other options but her. Do you have any idea how unattract…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 02:52 PM
1

I do the same. Use Navy BF + strongur and average the two.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 02:35 PM
2

This hit me right in the ego and my reaction was to say “fuck them.” I find usually when I have this reaction to something that’s because it’s exactly what I need to hear (but don’t want to.) If you’re able to squash your ego and push through that’s usually where you’ll make the best progress. As Jung would say “in sterquiliniis invenitur” in filth it shall be found. - What we most want to find in our lives will be found in the places where we least want to look. Now, I would put some serious wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 10:11 PM
3

I have tendinitis in my wrist. I’d avoided doing bench since I started going to the gym in the fall. Was worried about hurting it and being unable to work. Got some wrist wraps three weeks ago and they stabilize it enough that I’m good to go. I’m starting from zero on it.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 04:31 PM
0

I want my boys to believe in God and have some sense of faith Why? It doesn’t sound like it provided you much value if you have it up. So it’s not out of a sense of wanting them to have that value. Is this because of a sense of guilt? Because that’s a bad reason. I'm avoiding going full retard and going zero to Rambo like I've done in the past, thinking that was the answer. Wrong. I’m guessing the was a long slow spiral that got you here. The climb back will be the same. There’s no shortcuts. Ju…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 03:54 PM
2

I keep telling myself that I will come back to this once I get the rest of my life in order This is a big covert contract. “Once I’m fit my wife will want to have sex with me.” I think you are starting to see that. You’re focusing on all of the stuff where no one else but you has a say on your success. This is sort of the beta plow horse idea but applied to everything. Try removing her from your sexual goals entirely. Instead of “have sex with wife” set a goal of “initiate sex with total commitm…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 03:45 PM
2

You’re doing some good stuff here but you’re still very much looking to your wife as the metric of your progress. Your whole relationship section is very reactive to her. That’s something important to work on. You’ve got some more work to do on becoming your own mental point of origin.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 03:22 PM
7

OYS 33 Giving sex 32 | 5’10” | 168lbs BF 17.8% (19% navy) (16.7% Strongur) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 255x5 BP120x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Work / Business I hired an assistant to help out. She does simple shit like organize expenses and cross post social media stuff. I’m still figuring out more she can do but it’s difficult delegating more specialized work. I may …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 02:56 PM
3

I track my T for a while now and on the last test it took a 30% drop which was nuts... it could be related to the loss of motivation. What are you using to track this? I still bring up sex from time to time sometimes we fuck sometimes not. We are still in the scheduling sex thing which is my fault and I will have to address. What do you mean bringing up sex? Do you mean you initiate sex, or complaining about it or you just like tot all about it? about halfway though the movie I end up turning it…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/22 01:41 AM
9

Hell yeah. The road is long and the work pays off. This is good shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/22 07:01 PM
1

I didn’t fight with her but the resentment I feel has nearly killed any interest in sex or interaction with her. I hate not having a sex drive but feel mentally occupied with other things. This is very normal and a lot of guys here go through it, myself included. Keep working and making progress and it will eventually pass.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/22 07:55 PM
2

It was nice to have some attraction towards me since I get little at home, even if the feeling was external validation. This is some seriously lame validation seeking bullshit. At least go out and talk to real women so you can grow from the experience or learn some game instead of just getting your feelz tickled by internet women. I also am setting a goal to do work at a coffee shop once a week. Check for a coworking space in your town or city. They are usually pretty cheap, have decent coffee a…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/22 04:55 AM
2

I’m finding myself bored during the sex and not that into it lately. I’m not sure why. Because you are boring.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/22 04:05 AM
3

OYS 32 32 | 5’10” | 169lbs BF 18% Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 255x5 BP115x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental Good week. I’m exploring my mental models around money right now as I make changes in the business. I want to root out my limiting beliefs and prevent any self sabotage so I can take bigger swings with it. I’ve seen two people in my industry who made 250k doing…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/22 02:36 PM
10

Why did you threaten divorce three times (now four) when you didn’t actually mean it? Clearly something was fucked up before the ‘emotional’ affair.
/r/askMRP01/02/22 03:11 AM
9

100% this. The penalties for drunk driving are severe. She knows this and chooses to do it anyways. Your removing affection won’t even register compared to 10s of thousands in fines or possible jail time and she’s already ignoring this. I would tell her she’s never using my car again and if she chooses to drive drunk again it’s divorce, no questions asked.
/r/askMRP30/01/22 06:51 PM
4

Good. Looking forward to your post on Tuesday. If you’re not already aware of it, this post series formed a lot of my roadmap out of this.
/r/askMRP29/01/22 08:19 PM
15

I’m going to start this with a huge caveat that I don’t have kids, let alone triplets so there might be details I’m blind to. I have been through a pretty rough patch with my wife’s mental health though and really learned some things. Being incongruent will tear your woman apart. Especially in times of high stress like this. She needs your strength and frame. From my field report about my experience: When you’re in an abyss you need a wall to bump up against. Every time I capitulated I move the …
/r/askMRP29/01/22 08:00 PM
5

I only eat fast food 4 or 5 times a week at the most. So you ONLY eat fast food almost every day? That’s not good. I haven't tried to initiate in the past month. She's very overweight, and her attitude makes me not want to deal with her. Why are you still together? You don’t want to fuck her, her attitude sucks and she doesn’t sound fun to be around at all.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/22 08:13 PM
1

Better. But these could all be more clear so you know of you’re on track. Goal: 10% BF By when? 1)Lift more. What is more? More days a week? More weight? How much more? 2)Eat less. How much less? Do you have a calorie goal per day? Or a way to tell you’re eating less?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 09:21 PM
2

Nearly everything you wrote is just details about other people. That’s wasted effort. Get laser focused on you and keep it simple. What are your priorities and how are you going to accomplish them?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 06:02 PM
1

I think you’re a bit too in your head about leadership. When you’re so caught up thinking about leadership you’re going to end up thinking about your wife and her actions too much. At least at this point in the process. First, focus on self autonomy. You want your wife to stop being in charge of you? Cool, that’s a good thing to want. So start by taking care of your shit, handling what needs to be done. Handle it on a level so high there’s no room for someone to be In charge of you. Keep both ey…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/22 07:48 PM
2

Christ. Yeah I know that’s true. I cook 90% of my meals but when my business gets really busy I occasionally order in as a crutch. Time to cut that out I think.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 10:35 PM
7

I have hated my wife for a long time and carried huge amount of resentment towards her. Resentment like this is hatred of yourself for being weak. For tolerating the intolerable and letting your life become miserable. You’re going to be tempted to focus on what you see as the source of your resentment, her. That’s wrong. You are the source of that resentment and the fastest road out of it starts with fixing the weakness that got you here. About 3 weeks ago I told her I didn’t care to be married …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 08:22 PM
2

Sometimes it’s more about how you say things than what you say. Said with a spreader bar in hand there’s no guessing here. Hah
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 07:59 PM
2

Yeah I’m working my way through that book now and that’s what helped me realize it. I think my margin for loss was so slim that when eating out a cook who’s heavy handed with the oil could fuck up my whole week. I’m going to check back into his strategy because I can’t quite remember what it was but I remember exactly what you’re talking about. Thanks man.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 06:55 PM
2

My oneitis disappeared that night all at once. This is good. Make sure you don’t just transfer it to someone else. Keep an eye out for it to pop back up as you hit the dating apps. Push myself harder in the gym This is going to be hard to quantify if you accomplish it or not. Maybe try a specific goal so you know if you pass of fail looking back next week.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 05:17 PM
2

This is the way.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 05:12 PM
3

I'm caught in this validation-seeking trap that has caused me a ton of problems throughout my life. I'm constantly worried about whether this woman, or that woman, finds me attractive, and I find myself losing frame often with these thought processes. Do you have any hobbies or activities you do just for yourself other than the gym? Something challenging is best. Something you can fight for and accomplish just because you want to and then don’t tell any one about it. Just have the win for yourse…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 04:48 PM
5

I recently made a note about my wife: "My wife is emotionally abusive and controlling, she has a very negative view of pretty much everything, we argue loads, I'm walking on eggshells not to make her angry every day, she put on weight, she doesn't make an effort with clothes or makeup, we hardly ever have sex. She was like this before the pregnancy but has gotten much worse since. She is not educated, works in entry-level positions in our business, hates every job she has (inside and outside of …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 03:46 PM
3

This. I was having what could have been described as starfish sex this week, so I stood up beside the bed, said “I want you to suck my cock” and suddenly I’m having sex with a little variety and getting what I want. “Try opening up” leaves the ball completely on her court to guess what you want. Puts you in her frame and you also probably won’t get what you want anyways.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 03:36 PM
8

OYS 31 I’m starting to really like my life. 32 | 5’10” | 170lbs BF 18% Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ200x5 DL 250x5 BP115x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental: Fucking awesome week this week. I’ve hit my edge a few times in various things and pushed past where I thought I had to stop. This is how I like to live. The man I’m becoming is made up of a lot of the traits and behaviour …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 03:24 PM
15

How old are you? I used to have social anxiety pretty bad. Part of it was being young and figuring myself out. A bigger part was accepting myself. Fixing it had nothing to do with the social side of things and everything to do with myself. No amount of putting myself in social situations would have helped. For me the source of the anxiety was that I saw myself as a deeply flawed person who wasn’t acceptable as who he was. Because I felt that way I was constantly on guard of being found out and e…
/r/askMRP23/01/22 03:20 PM
2

In the 60 DoD post you commented I’m ALLL in boys let’s fucking gooooo!!! Fast forward two months and all you’ve done is post three OYS and gotten even skinnier. Is this really you when you go “All in” because it fucking sucks. my 2 co-workers had a meeting with me letting me know that I have lost focus and I complain to much about my wife’s behavior too much. If ever there was a sigh that your head is WAY too far up your wife’s ass, this is it. Holy shit man. This section is a perfect summery o…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/22 04:20 AM
11

I see this as a simple comfort test. She’s looking for reassurance. It’s also a good chance to lead towards what you want. If her hamster is running make sure it can find the way out of the maze. Don’t just watch it scramble to make yourself feel good about your own progress. Lead it.
/r/askMRP22/01/22 11:30 PM
2

There isn’t a lot to work with in your post so I’m making assumptions here. I think I’m right though. It sounds like you want validation through sex. I have been sexually frustrated for at least 3 years (I still get it frequently, but it’s dread/starfish sex). If this was about specific sex acts it sounds like you could get them. This is about her desire and the way it validates you. I handle rejection horribly. My fake outcome independence is transparent as fuck and she piles on the shit tests …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/22 03:06 PM
1

You’re welcome.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/22 05:28 AM
2

What are your lifts? You post a lot about doing well in the gym but never actually post what your lifts are. As for the sleep issues: I’ve had insomnia for as long as I can remember. It’s a motherfucker. I used to take sleeping pills almost every night. That’s not a road I’d recommend going down. I still deal with it somewhat often but here’s things that have helped me to most. Lifting regularly. Spend the evening with the lights as low as possible. Keep the room on sleeping in pitch dark. Take …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 11:08 PM
2

I stick to 2250 net kcal per day; this is below maintenance. Could you push this lower? You’ve got a ways to go. I do weight training with a personal trainer, 3 weeks so far. How often are you doing this? I whine to my gf sometimes, especially on Sunday, about my lack of sexual experience compared to her. This is some of the least attractive behaviour I’ve ever heard of. Holy hell man. Why would you ever do that?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 10:58 PM
3

Anytime I buy something for myself, I feel guilty instead of happy. When I buy myself things, I feel guilty. There’s a book that will help with this. I'll try to write down answers to these questions without taking women as factors into consideration in a few days. Good. This would be another good thing to share in your next OYS. Posting stuff like this in here can be great for uncovering blindspots or areas you might be lying to yourself. I'll see how to proceed with this, might just let her kn…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 05:56 PM
4

I broke down a month after breakup and started to regret my decision of breakup. I have been pining for her since all this time, it's been more than a year and it still hurts. This sort of neediness and oneitis is a result of your life being empty, lacking meaning and direction. Everything in your post is in relation to this woman. There is nothing about what you like and want out of life. That’s where you need to start. You have a vacuum of meaning in your life and you’re using this woman to fi…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 04:16 PM
1

Totally agree with you here. I used to have nearly constant back issues. When I started lifting I included lots of deadlifts. My back got strong for the first time in my life and I very rarely have issues with it now.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 04:02 AM
2

True. Absolutely brutal.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 12:31 AM
1

Awesome thanks. I’m going to give that a shot eventually. I’m sticking to my program and focusing on losing some fat for now but I’m going to keep this in the back of my mind.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 12:30 AM
2

My first post since my original "I'm back" post in October. This fucking sucks man. You failed every goal you set and ended up fatter than your starting weight. Forget big goals for now. Focus on stringing together a few weeks worth of consistent work and reflection. Don’t just hope it ‘sticks’ this time. Use some discipline.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 12:27 AM
1

I never have. I’d like to try at some point though. I thought it might be a cool way to break things up if I get stuck with my program or need some variety. How did you work up to it? Doing progressively heavier singles?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/22 01:14 PM
2

Good question. This has changed as I’ve changed and as I’ve gotten to know her better. Especially after the events I covered in my field report so mileage may vary person to person. For me it has a lot less to do with the specific actions and more to do with my approach. When my wife starts to doubt herself, it becomes a spiral really easily. When that’s happening it doesn’t matter so much what I say or do. It’s that I slow the tempo of the whole world down. I become intensely present with her. …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 10:25 PM
1

She is consciously makes it impossible for me to initiate sex. There are a ton of ‘she statements’ in your post. Also how does she prevent you from initiating? She can prevent you from having sex with her, sure. But she’s preventing you from trying? Come on. I held frame and reassured her I will file for divorce if the marriage can not be amended and I made sure she told me that she understands that. This boundary is so ambiguous it doesn’t exist. What does that mean if the marriage can’t be ame…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 05:34 PM
1

I just saw that. Foot on gas. Let’s go. I’m going to use your second comment as a prompt to think, and more importantly do, this week. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 03:34 PM
4

Feild Report: Text Game. I like seeing this kind of test and result. Good stuff man.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 03:14 PM
6

I made a very useful realization this week. I noticed that I often hover around my wife following her from room to room talking to her while she's doing housework, etc. I can feel myself not in my own frame whenever I do this so I'm putting a stop to it. To dig into this a little more the root issue may be that you don’t have anything better to do than follow your wife around. She’s got shit to do and she’s handling it. You are following. Definitely not the dynamic either of you want. So start h…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 02:58 PM
1

Jesus dude. The only thing you wrote about is something that happened to you. Nothing you did. Lifts stayed the same and you didn’t do anything to improve your life this week?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 02:54 PM
2

OYS 30 32 | 5’10” | 170lbs BF 18% Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95x5 SQ195x5 DL 250x5 BP105x5 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental I realized some days I can go almost the whole day without seriously thinking. Between podcasts, scrolling and watching Bullshit I can keep my head full of other people’s thoughts without leaving room for mine. I cleared a bunch of space this week to think. Sim…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 02:32 PM
2

It’s pretty common for guys to crush it in their career while not necessarily living the life they want. In careers it’s all sort of laid out for you. The path forward is defined and each step of the way you can be pretty sure of the next step. If you get lost there’s usually someone there to give you a nudge toward the direction you should climb. Capable guys take this and run. Some even use it as a buffer against the more ambiguous areas of life and just lean all of their effort into the clear…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/22 08:11 PM
2

I won't step off one train and onto the other until the 2nd train catches up to the 1st and I can safely step from one to the other. I’ll speak from my own experience here. My second train never quite got up to speed with the first. I found it very difficult to earn more than my main salary in the hours that are left over after working full time. Eventually though, I took a bit of a leap of faith onto that slower train. Once I got behind the wheel full time it took off like a rocket and I left t…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 03:39 PM
1

Overall: In most areas of my life I have achieved mediocrity, and the temptation is to stay there, as I am “good enough” compared to my peers. I will fight this temptation and instead excel. Why will you fight it? What is the purpose behind doing this and how do you define excelling? The purpose needs to be stronger than your temptation to stagnate or you’ll revert back to that once things get hard.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 03:32 PM
8

Definitely a combination of both. I think the same effect can be had to some degree from things like traveling along or a backwoods camping trip alone. It’s a fantastic way to practically apply some NMMNG theory. Especially if there is some level of danger or adversity to be faced alone. When living alone on the woods and a bear came into the yard while I was getting wood for the fire there was nobody for me to call for help. Once I’ve dealt with it there’s nobody for me to seek validation from …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 03:12 PM
3

That means I need to start getting comfortable being alone. I am in this alone, I always have been. Writing that out, helps to let it sink in. I find so much comfort in this personally. Sure it can be lonely but at the same time I know I am totally fine, great even, with nothing but myself. Everything else is just decoration I’ve added to my life because I enjoy it. I have very little fear of any of it going away. I know of it does I’ll still be somewhere I enjoy. Alone. It allows you to interac…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 02:08 PM
2

OYS 29 32 | 5’10” | 170lbs Haven't had a chance to check BF yet. Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95 SQ190 DL 245 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental: Great week this week. I dug into my mission a bit more. I knew I was fulfilled by freedom and exploration but I haven’t been doing anything about it. This week I started a new savings account and put some money in it. I’ll keep adding monthly.…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 01:56 PM
1

So I have started to withdraw some of my attention again. As I type this, I’m realizing that this is yet another covert contract I’m glad you realized that. Don’t think of your time as something you use to manipulate your wife into doing X or Y. Think of it as something that you apply to whatever area you want to and get enjoyment from. If that’s spending time with your wife, great. If that stops being something you enjoy, remove yourself and spend your time doing something you’d rather like lif…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 03:43 AM
4

Mission: Become a financially independent, honest, honourable & self validating man of my word that takes massive actions. Jobs: I haven’t been up on the job search, I’ve been slacking. Is this what a honest, honourable & self validating man that takes massive action would do? I haven’t been to the gym, I was supposed to build up to this with jogging… I’m going to continue every morning and jog closer and closer to that damn gym before the end of the week. Is this what a honest, honourable & sel…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 02:55 AM
1

She lost her shit at being rejected. That was funny. Made myself a coffee instead and getting on with my day. Careful not to make this a source of gratification for yourself. If you didn’t want a hand job that’s fine, turn it down. Just be sure you’re not doing it just to get the satisfaction of revenge, or to make her feel bad because that’s stupid.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 02:48 AM
1

My training has been top priority on over the last week What are your lifts? My marriage is starting to show improvements, Like what? If it happens during the day / evening hours, not a big deal I just go on with my day and eventually she comes around. However, I don't know what to do when the day is over and I want to go to bed. She storm in the room, turn on lights, etc. This hasn't happened in a few weeks, but I know the cycle, as my frame regains (as it was been this last week), there will b…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 02:41 AM
2

We’re a similar height, weight and BF. I just started a calorie deficit last week because I want to get down around 15% BF. I’m eating 2,200 calories a day and lifting 3x per week. So far I’ve still been able to add weight to the bar at the same rate I was while eating in a surplus.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/22 07:40 PM
1

The app will give you a program to follow. It’s not going to provide the motivation to do the work. Bouncing between programs or seeking out compliments is a bad source of motivation. It burns bright for a moment and then it’s gone and you stop. That’s where discipline comes in. You need to find the reason for the work within yourself and do it for you. Discipline means doing the work even when you’re not motivated. Once I learned the program I actually stopped using the app. Now I just use the …
/r/askMRP04/01/22 07:27 PM
1

Thanks for the encouragement on this. I was a bit hungry the first day or two and then it went away completely. Definitely a sustainable deficit. After posting this morning I went to the gym and added 5lbs to my squat so I’m still getting stronger too.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/22 06:28 PM
1

OYS 28 32 | 5’10” | 172lbs - 18.3% BF (strongur) 19.6 (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 95 SQ185 DL 240 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental: I was chasing my tail a bit with mental models last week. I was looking for problems where they didn’t exist. I got out of my head more this week and focused on doing things. As a result I had a better week. I was stuck in a bit of an anger phase …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/22 01:32 PM
1

I had never set foot in a gym before starting posting on MRP. I needed something basic that gets real results. I downloaded the Starting Strength App and book and learned the basic compound barbell lifts. I’m about 6 months in and the program is still working great. I’m cutting down my body fat now so I’ve also been using My Fitness Pal to log every single thing I eat and keep myself in a calorie deficit while I work the program. I’m a beginner and I’ve been making this work well for myself. If …
/r/askMRP03/01/22 05:54 PM
2

Just a note on home workouts. I used them when I first started here because gyms were not open. They lack almost all of the benefits of getting into a gym and lifting heavy weights. Do yourself a favour and go to the gym instead.
/r/askMRP03/01/22 02:55 PM
26

The fact that you ask ‘can we still play games’ to a bunch of internet idiots proves you have absolutely no frame to affect yet. Like everyone else has said here: you’re not special. Get to work using the same steps as everyone else. Lift, sidebar, STFU.
/r/askMRP02/01/22 05:36 PM
2

Just because nobody agrees with you doesn’t mean nobody has given you a good answer. That’s where the ego comes in. You’re so sure you’re right that you have no interest in even considering the feedback you’re getting here. Which is fine, I don’t give a fuck how you live your life. You’re wasting your time posting questions until you’re ready to hear an answer though.
/r/askMRP01/01/22 03:52 PM
8

Bullshit. You mention that she’s been acting up after showering her with gifts and attention. Why even mention the gifts unless you think they have something to do with each other? You have an expectation that gifts mean she won’t act up. Your ego seems pretty out of control based on your responses here. You won’t get anywhere until you get that in check.
/r/askMRP01/01/22 02:53 AM
8

LTR has been acting up after showering her with gifts and spending a good amount of holidays time with her. You have a covert contract that if you shower her with gifts she won’t act up. That’s not going to work. Read No More Mr. Nice Guy to learn more about this. For something simple, ruining someone's morning is inappropriate for the issue at hand. Try asking yourself why you allow some attitude from your wife to ruin your morning. Sounds like you’re operating in her frame. Usually if she thro…
/r/askMRP01/01/22 02:28 AM
2

You’re right. I’ve been looking backwards trying to find things to fix rather than forward at what I want to build. Thanks for the reality check. This week will be better.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/21 06:07 PM
1

This is 100% accurate. I’m lost. When I started posting here I had a bunch of big issues staring me in the face that needed fixing. I was resentful and full of covert contracts. I knew exactly what to tackle. Now I’m fairly happy with my life. I made big progress eliminating covert contracts around sex, house work, money etc. My OYS is weak because I’m lacking direction. I want to go hunting more, so I’m going to this week. The errands are dumb because I have a good ability to say no I just got …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/21 06:08 PM
2

OUS 27 32 | 5’10” | 175lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 90 SQ185 DL 235 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. Mental I’ve been craving being alone this week. After looking deeper I realize this comes from a lack of congruence in life. I’m doing things I don’t want and not doing things I want to. What I really want is to do whatever I want to all the time and clearly I’m not. Areas…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/21 02:43 PM
1

Did you read the posts I linked? It’s a step by step guide to the process.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/21 02:29 AM
2

I believe once I get a job and get around people in real life things will begin to improve Don’t make the success of this based on other people or external circumstances like that. If you want to become secure in yourself the answer will never be other people. Just like you know you shouldn’t depend on your brother to motivate you to lift. Being honest with yourself Is painful but it’s a good first step. Your list of problems is big and vague and your list of goals is small and are baby steps. T…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/21 01:52 AM
1

Wife can still nuke the calm with a bad decision or silly action. Have to accept she won’t grow out of that - possibly ever. If your wife can nuke your calm with a bad decision or action that’s something you need to grow out of, not her.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/21 01:11 AM
1

I broke up with my GF last week. Long story short there has been constant arguing and bad behaviour these last few months and worst of all disrespect. These are all things I have caused as is clear just by reading my OYS…. I could see it was only going to get worse and I need to get myself together. If you are the cause of this and you know it why would it only get worse? Are you planning on regressing? Or have you not really internalized how this truly is all about you?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/21 01:04 AM
1

At this point I would focus pretty squarely on rooting out your validation needs around sex and escaping that dynamic. Until you have that handled, any dirty talk or other fancy fucking are just going to be party tricks you’re preforming inside her frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/21 12:42 AM
1

Cool, I’ll remember that. I haven’t noticed a huge difference in my strength on days I eat big or don’t. I notice a HUGE difference depending on if I slept well or not though.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 10:41 PM
1

Perfect. I just grabbed that book, thanks for the recommendation. I’ve got the direction I need. I’ll make it happen.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 06:46 PM
1

This is great. Seriously, thank you. I’ve always hated entering stuff into my fitness pal but part of that was I didn’t have a set goal or know what I was doing. So it was mostly just busy work. I don’t know a ton about this so I’d love some feedback if you don’t mind. When I enter my info into the app and set a goal of losing 1lbs a week it spits out a goal of 2,200 calories. My questions: Is that a reasonable goal for fat loss? Is the calorie amount reasonable to continue lifting or would you …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 05:50 PM
1

This is a good call out. I thought I needed to eat in a surplus to get stronger so I have been until recently. BF wasn’t something I paid much attention to as I was learning to lift. That time is past and both you and u/cam_winston21 have both called me on this, rightfully so. I cleaned up my diet last week and have been strict since. My goal is 15% I’ll keep tracking with my fitness pal until I get the feel for how much I should be eating.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 05:24 PM
1

Me.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 03:14 PM
5

Overall, I felt ambivalent until now; I felt guilty, but the desire to make my vision a reality was stronger than the guilt. So I made the right decision for me, but with reservations. But I was still susceptible to the accusations, because I agreed with them. If I didn't agree with them, I wouldn't be susceptible. Woah. This is strikingly similar to what I wrote in my OYS this week. I said I was feeling ambivalent towards pleasing others and that my drive to create the life I want is stronger t…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 03:13 PM
1

OYS 26 32 | 5’10” | 175lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 90 SQ185 DL 235 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. 60 DoD: Style: bought a new winter jacket, sweater and some more jeans. Going to need to buy a few more pairs of jeans as the gym is changing what fit I need. Game: chatted up a couple women as I was doing my running around for the holidays. I also had a couple women appro…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 03:03 PM
27

I have no idea what you’re trying to get out of posting this, it’s devoid of value and the question is nonsense. 6'2" 130 pounds BF <5% Jesus dude, you are an emaciated skeleton. Dread LVL 1-2 How are you running dread against women that don’t know you exist? I have a life apart from girls. Yeah, sounds like your life is definitely WAY apart from any girls. 4 months until I'm an attractive man with options. Another way to say this would be “I’m not an attractive man and I have no options.” If yo…
/r/askMRP20/12/21 05:24 AM
7

First of all, going on dates is the least of your worries. Your woman doesn’t respect you because you capitulate to her every whim and mood. She can’t trust you because you can’t even hold your ground on your own life and the things you love. You have no boundaries or self respect. Agreed we need to have dates, having trouble getting her to get a babysitter and plan. Will keep suggesting it. Second of all are you that incapable that you can’t make a plan or get a babysitter? Remember when you co…
/r/askMRP18/12/21 06:07 AM
11

Knowing red pill buzz words is about as useful as knowing the names of lifts in the gym. Sure you can talk shop with the boys, you might even fool some of the dumb ones, but it won’t make you even a little bit stronger or less fat. For that, you need to do the work. Read the sidebar material, post in the weekly OYS threads and work on yourself. If that’s too much of an investment to make in your own life than I’m certainly not interested in spending any more of my time on it.
/r/askMRP18/12/21 05:35 AM
36

Life seemed to just revolve around my wife's plans, taking the kid out...which was fine, but I never really got to do any thing for myself. So make your life revolve around your plans. Do things for yourself. I actually spent most of the time remodeling the bathroom with the neighbor. So, again working hard for no appreciation. Expecting appreciation for doing that is a covert contract. Ironically, I met her because I was in a band. She says she likes that I play guitar, but somehow it's always …
/r/askMRP18/12/21 12:39 AM
2

Yes me too. I also asked for help a couple times with my mental health when I was younger because I became deeply depressed. Because of my religious upbringing I was shamed for asking for help instead of given help. When you get that sort of reaction from a true and honest request for help at a young age it reverberates through your life until you take action to change it. It makes honestly stating your needs feel incredibly vulnerable and useless. Which doesn’t make the needs go away it just dr…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/21 05:03 PM
3

I am constantly blown away but the generosity of guys here. The value provided by guys taking the time to dig and give advice like this is extraordinary. Hell yeah.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 11:10 PM
2

I am incongruent so my wife is insane. The good news is that if you change this you can change everything.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 01:21 PM
2

I get it man, it’s disheartening at first. Most people also know that 50% of businesses fail in the first 5 years. In the face of that you and I both said “fuck it, I can do hard things. Let’s give it a shot.” Sure I might not still be in business in 5 years, but I am now and It’s working for me. If at some point this business fails or I decide to move on, fine. I’ll take what I’ve learned and move forward. Neither of our business are likely to be the next Amazon. I’m not going to let the death …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 12:15 AM
3

You’re a bit preoccupied with the future potential of things. Both in your business and with women. I think it’s the source of your hopelessness with women the same way it’s the source of your excitement with your business. Ground yourself in the present a little more. Sure you’ll be aware your business isn’t so great yet but that’s okay because it’s at an appropriate state for the movement and you’re heading somewhere better. You’ll find these dates aren’t your 5 year goal for a women but that’…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 10:55 PM
2

You are measuring your progress based on your wife’s moods and actions. As long as you do this you will remain deeply in her frame. It’s only a roller coaster because your wife is fully in control of if you have a good day or a bad day.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 10:24 PM
1

While trying to avoid setting plans that I won’t do, I realize that deep inside me, I know if I will accomplish the goals/plans I’m setting up for myself (for example, if I don’t want to do something I often tell myself I will wake up tomorrow very early and do it, but I never do, This is a good realization. I think is what I know I’m supposed to want rather than what I really want, but it is a beginning of a path. Think also about what fills you with joy currently. For instance I’ve noticed tha…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 10:03 PM
2

This is a great breakdown. My mission is still developing but it’s something like - I want freedom, exploration and forward progress. I want to live a life full of new experiences and growth. The expressions of this are travel, self employment, creative pursuits, hunting, endlessly exploring new interesting hobbies and sometimes saying yes to strange things just to see where they lead.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 09:54 PM
2

Totally. It’s a conscious effort currently but with time it will become more natural. I know I will be better for it and it will benefit me. I needed to lone wolf it while I untangled my covert contracts and figured out my frame. Now I’m much more able to ask with outcome independence. Simply and honestly make a request. The final thing stopping me was a bit of ego protection I think. It’s a little vulnerable to ask for help. But vulnerable is good. I can handle things either way so I’ll ask in …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 07:45 PM
3

This is resonating so loudly with me. Thank you for sharing that. I had the same experience of appearing needless as a child because of those feelings of guilt and shame. Incredibly formative.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 06:22 PM
5

Then it hit me. I chose her to recreate the circumstances of my childhood. I had this same realization. It’s so hard to change the dynamic without realizing this because it’s so deeply engrained. Even if the relationship ends you’ll naturally be drawn to recreate it with someone similar. Once you realize this is becomes so much easier to change. I’ve gone from my own drill sergeant to my own annoyingly positive mom. I was thinking about something similar this week. How mental models can serve yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 04:51 PM
2

This is one of the most convoluted and bizarre posts in here. I don’t know what you’re talking about in half of it and I doubt if you do either. You’re doing a ton of busy work, writing lots of details and reporting on things but you’re not actually doing anything. Analyzing everything to death with no action. Of your relationship you say “let’s see what happens” Of anger: “I hope I don’t go back” Are you in charge of anything in your life or are you a reporter watching it all happen and telling…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 03:18 PM
1

OYS 25 32 | 5’10” | 170lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 90 SQ180 DL 235 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. 60 DoD: DIET: Upped the eggs, chicken and steak cut out any junk. LIFTING: Upping my lifts each week and working in volume on my OHP to try and make better gains. Hygiene: Bought a face scrub and moisturizer to keep skin nice during dry winter. Style: Been in the hunt for …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 02:52 PM
3

This is good, thanks for sharing. I’ve been thinking about this stuff all week.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 03:47 AM
2

Your ego is pretty out of control and it’s going to stunt your progress until you get it in check.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/21 12:52 AM
2

Agreed. I’ve gotten a ton out of it just reading through the comments this week.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/21 12:34 AM
1

I told her the relationship isn't going to work and she needs to find a new place to live. Did you mean this? Are you going to keep your word or do you not care if she thinks you’re full of shit? I don't necessarily want to force her out but, if things don't turn around and if she tries to escalate this violence, I don't see any other option. Is this a boundary or not? If you’re wishy washy with your boundary around violence do you really think she’s going to take anything you say seriously? Don…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 06:07 PM
3

Oh damn. Now it really makes sense. Thank you. I’m going to do that.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 02:40 AM
1

Nice. Definitely a good way to squash that. I took my life down to the bare bones for years. Lived in a cabin in the woods with almost nothing to my name. I don’t live like that now, but the thought of losing everything and going to zero doesn’t even phase me anymore.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 02:38 AM
1

That makes sense.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 02:15 AM
3

It seems like you’re getting pretty lost in the minutia and details of the past. She sucked dick but didn’t fuck. She got a dic pic but it’s mostly memes. She cheated but so did you. Did she cheat just once or more than once? Blah blah blah. It’s easy to get wrapped up in details. They are highly emotional and feel like clues. I don’t think they matter all that much though. Let go of the tit for tat scoreboarding of the past. She cheated and so did you. Now how do you want to move forward? Zoom …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 07:00 PM
5

Okay good. I’m glad my instinct was correct. It’s not usually annoying and it gets dropped as soon as I shut it down. Thanks for the second set of eyes.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 05:45 PM
3

1 – I need to impress women This more than likely comes from a fundamental lack of approval for yourself. Because you don’t approve of yourself you need to externalize that and get approval from someone else. *I’ve got more to say about this at the end. 2- Being afraid of not having money The stoics have a concept called practicing poverty. In one of Seneca’s letters he writes: “Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coars…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 05:30 PM
2

OYS 24 32 | 5’10” | 175lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 90 SQ180 DL 230 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. 60 DoD: DIET: sorted this out even more. Started tracking food in my fitness pal to keep an eye on macros and calories. LIFTING: Still making new progress and increasing my work set. Slow but steady. Hygiene: bought a new pomade I like, got a haircut and picked up some moi…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 02:31 PM
3

I got caught texting a girl I met at a party. I had no intent of actually meeting up with her to do anything. If this is true then think about why you were texting her. The answer is validation. That’s what it was about when you were texting her and that’s what it was about when you were talking to the group of girls. If you want to fix this you need to figure out why you need validation so bad and work on doing that for yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/21 03:57 PM
3

I’m a dude who has been so fucking ingenuine for so long that lying became a second language. Being honest is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. When you operate in a web of lies it becomes risky to be your authentic self. As you become more honest there is a total freedom to be exactly how you are. No need to edit or make sure the stories line up. This is a good place to start on your journey. Be honest, or at least don’t lie. It can be pretty difficult to even know what the truth is …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/21 02:32 PM
1

I didn’t realize the difference so I was definitely in a bulking sort of mindset. This is good advice. Thank you. I’ll make that change.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/21 06:36 PM
1

Totally right. I’m doing starting strength and listing what I’m repping. When I’ve got my shit together I add weight to my DL and squat nearly every trip to the gym. When my sleep is fucked up and I’m working too long of hours I make much slower progress. That’s been the case the last couple weeks. No excuses, it’s my fault for over booking myself with work.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/21 04:44 AM
5

OYS 23 32 | 5’10” | 175lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 90 SQ175 DL 225 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. 60 DoD: DIET: I was being a baby about my diet last week. With a little effort I'm easily hitting my protein numbers. LIFTING: Only got to the gym twice last week. Work has taken over my life because I badly over scheduled myself. Fixing it this week. Mental: Blarg sent me…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/21 03:12 PM
1

Good catch on the reading. If that’s the case u/phil_stein then you should get to work. You’re sole focus should be starting one of those books before next OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/21 02:10 PM
1

These will keep chipping at your frame unless you have strong boundaries. Agreed. That’s why I wrote about it and how it related to the process of creating frame and boundaries for myself. I would also suggest looking into why you are this way instead of blaming it on genetics. I’ve thought deeply about this for a long time. Know why I’m like this. I don’t just blame it on genetics. “I think part of this is my natural genetics and part was developed as a defence mechanism.” I could go into detai…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/21 08:07 PM
1

Having things worth sharing is awesome and one of the side effects of levelling up and working on yourself. I think it’s a great thing to do. I think having your mission be based on other people will cause some issues. It puts the success and failure of your mission out of your control. And it makes it dependant on the work of someone else. Your mission should be your highest order goal. The over arching meaning of life. Do you want the outcome of that in someone else’s hands? If your mission wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/21 05:56 PM
1

Mission: "Find 3 guys and pour my life into them, teaching them to be Lovers of God, others, themselves, and lead others to do the same." I’ve never been on the RP Christian sub so maybe I’m missing some context. This seems like an odd mission to me. It’s very other focused. Couldn’t this effort pay off much more of applied to yourself instead. Do you see yourself as so fully formed that the best use of your time is to pour your efforts into others? I’m genuinely asking here, not trying to be a …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/21 03:49 PM
3

thinking of breaking it off with gf. I just find girl drama exhausting and when it comes up I default to this persistent shitty voice in my head saying, you’re not good enough, you’ll never win. You probably know this but breaking this off with her won’t fix this. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t. I don’t care either way. But if your reason for breaking this off is that her drama makes you feel not good enough you’re just kicking that can way down the road. It’ll pop up again with the next woman.…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/21 03:30 PM
1

I think empathy is very different from caring too much. They are separate things, or at least they should be. Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel someone else’s emotions. Nice guy behaviour is when that capacity becomes an obligation or compulsion. It’s when you use it as a covert means to get something you want or it holds you back from true desires. Saying empathy is nice guy behaviour is like saying emotions are blue pill. They aren’t inherently blue pill or red pill. It’s what you …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/21 05:43 AM
5

Hell yeah man.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/21 04:11 PM
3

I think you’re spot on. I went overt because I was in a crisis with a woman that was being hospitalized for depression because of my incongruence. It was quite literally life and death at that point. Short of that I don’t think it would be the way to go. Maybe even then it wasn’t. I can’t be sure other than that it worked. The risk of going overt like that outweighs the benefits in most cases. If you fuck up after levelling with her you’re not just back at square one you also poisoned your word.…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/21 03:05 PM
1

Good stuff. It sounds like you’ve got a good handle on that mental model. I think it’s good to explore things like that, especially when we feel resistance to it. Behind that resistance is usually the things we most need to learn.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/21 02:23 PM
1

That’s the thing it’s nothing crazy. I aim for around 100g. I totally use it as a crutch when I don’t make good food planning a priority and get to busy to run to the store. The obvious fix is just to plan a bit better and stop being an idiot with a crutch. So that’s what I’m going to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/21 10:02 PM
1

Yeah I always drink a ton of water before and after. I think it’s just an intolerance to the stuff itself.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/21 06:53 PM
1

Unfortunately it’s pea protein giving me issues now. I get a sharp pain in my stomach right after taking it. Whey doesn’t work either. I might try hemp, any experience with it? Or maybe I’m better off just ditching the powder at this point.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/21 04:56 PM
1

Almost the opposite of my belief that the true path to happiness, is to cultivate the mindset of valuing and being content with who you are and what you have. This is a good mindset in the face of things you can’t change. But when applied to things you could change, it’s a path to needless stagnation. For instance with some effort I’m sure you could make yourself content with your current salary. A better approach though is to apply that same effort to asking for a raise. If you don’t get it, fi…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/21 04:38 PM
3

Chess Game. That Chess game comment from Barracuda, has been so useful to recognize that all this sexual dynamics is a fucking game, and it should be played as long as I enjoy it. Fuck yeah I’m glad that resonated with you too. That content was absolute gold for me. Twice this week, I received text, like a paragraph long from my wife telling me how much she loves and appreciates me. My wife does this too. I used to take it as a true statement of how good I was. I would swell with pride as she sa…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/21 04:13 PM
3

OYS 22 32 | 5’10” | 175lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 90 SQ175 DL 225 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. This has been one of my best weeks since I started posting here. Not because it was easy, I got some big tests, but I know who I am and what I want so I held strong and made it happen. I went hunting one day this week. When I got back I got a big shit test about being home…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/21 04:02 PM
2

Read the materials, try some things, pay attention to the results, adjust and share. This is how you make forward progress. Not asking strangers on the internet if you’re allowed to cuddle your girlfriend and call her babe.
/r/askMRP21/11/21 02:16 PM
1

It’s pretty rare but yes it happens sometimes. Some I’ve convinced once I explained we’re splitting the risk, some have agreed to a slightly modified payment structure around milestones with a smaller deposit. There are some that just find it unacceptable. I don’t do business with those people. The CEO you’re dealing with was probably one of those people and I think you’d agree it would have been better not to have done business with him.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/21 01:43 AM
1

There is a very good chance she’s fucking someone else. Listen to Horns here, he’s got a great sense for these things. Here’s what I’ll add. This is from experience. Religious leaders are second to none when it comes to using guilt and shame to manipulate behaviour. They have a better chance of getting her to stay than you do. That’s not good news though. If she stays because of religious guilt you’re just as fucked as you ever were. You need to become crystal clear on what you want out of this …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/21 02:01 PM
4

Occasionally I blowout a day and waste it on porn, but not that often anymore. I’m not you but I would see this as a HUGE issue if I were blowing out a whole work day on porn. Even if it’s not that often.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/21 01:52 PM
3

6 months and did not get paid. The client owes me slightly north of $90k USD of which they haven't paid me a penny. Jesus Christ dude. This seems like a symptom of some extreme nice guy behaviour. I do client work and I do not start work without 50% up front. If a client asks why they should take that risk I ask why I should take all of the risk? It’s fair to split it evenly and those are my terms. In some cases on larger projects 50% up front isn’t practical to the client. In those cases I stil…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/21 05:14 AM
2

This is good. You’ve figured out some goals and have concrete steps towards them. I’d challenge you to think a lot bigger. Your basics goal in this was to be financially stable and happy with how things are. Not bad things but why not dig deeper. An exercise I like to do every now and then is to take some time to write out exactly how I’d want my life if money were no object and I were capable of anything at all. No limits here. Throw off the chains of your self limiting beliefs for a moment and…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/21 05:03 AM
1

That’s what I did today and I could already tell I was getting more work in than I would if I were grinding out 5 reps at my max. Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/21 07:06 PM
3

When I was in the midst of the situation I wrote about in my field report I was getting shit tested like crazy. Mostly about housework. I decided to take things to their logical conclusion so for a couple weeks I owned EVERYTHING. I’m taking everything in the house 100% done. After a while of that my wife came out one morning and called me out because she always has to open the curtains in the morning and I never do it. It was so ludicrous I couldn’t help but laugh. It was in that moment I reali…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/21 07:03 PM
1

Good tip thanks. I’ll give that a shot.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/21 03:19 PM
1

OYS 21 32 | 5’10” | 175lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 90 SQ175 DL 230 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. What do I want: Freedom, forward progress, exploration. 60 DoD: Lifting OHP has continued to be an absolute grind for me. I was following the starting strength program but hit my max on this fast and am having trouble adding weight. instead of my 3x5 I’m going to add a bunch of volume so I can do more work. I’ll start today and…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/21 02:23 PM
3

I’m in.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/21 04:20 AM
4

Hey man, this woman and his children have made a decision about who he’ll be dating from now on and he needs to respect that. After all if they don’t take charge of his life, who will? Lol
/r/askMRP15/11/21 10:17 PM
6

So you knew about the girls night out and that dudes often chat her up, but now you’re blindsided by her talking to dudes on her girls night out? This is all extremely needy and bizarre and if you keep it no one will blame her when she eventually goes home with one of those guys.
/r/askMRP15/11/21 09:06 PM
1

I should’ve just finished my food to maintain the appearance that I had socialized. This statement makes it incredibly obvious the only reason you’re socializing is to prove something to your wife. Try socializing because you actually want to. When she asked to be kissed I started again Friday she send me a calendar invite to schedule sex with me and we both came at the same time. She is 100% running the show. You are in her frame following her lead every step of the way. I partially wanted to “…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/21 02:53 PM
3

Exactly. That’s why writing and posting here has helped me so much. Just when I think I’ve really got something figured out I post here and someone absolutely nails a blind spot. As long as we constantly address blind spots and repeat the process, we’re going in the right direction.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/21 01:40 PM
8

The feedback on my post helped me realize that my motivation for action was still very tied up with my woman. The guilt of having lead her into hell was my reason for action. I was doing it for her instead of for me. I don’t think my actions themselves were bad, but my mind frame around them needs work or else it’s going to continue to trip me up in the future. I see the same thing in your post when you talk about it being your responsibility. As long as you hang on to that feeling it will be im…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/21 04:02 AM
21

That’s because you’re butt hurt. You are clearly doing all of this to try and change your wife. Every action you take you keep one eye on her to see if it’s working. As long as she holds the ruler by which you measure your success you’re fucked.
/r/askMRP13/11/21 06:02 PM
13

Same as everybody else. Read the sidebar material, go to the gym and put in real work on reforming your mental models. Stop posting questions looking for a quick tip from an internet stranger to fix your life and do the work. There are no shortcuts. Have you read No More Mr. Nice Guy? Because this reads like you haven’t.
/r/askMRP13/11/21 05:50 PM
20

Fast forward to now. I am working late. And she will give me shit for it. When I never said anything to her when she did it. If I don’t say anything when she works late then she can’t either. - Covert contract. She’s on her phone for hours. I stfu. I’m on mine for a half hour. She’s asking who I’m texting. Saying I’m always on it. Etc. If I don’t say anything when she’s on her phone she can’t say anything when I’m on mine. - Covert contract. I tried to shit test. “Texting my girlfriend” with a s…
/r/askMRP13/11/21 05:39 PM
3

This is very good shit. Thank you both.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/21 11:58 PM
4

100% I appreciate you taking the time to break that down. Now that you’ve pointed it out, it’s clear as day.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/21 10:33 PM
3

Damn, you’re right. I internalized that the issue was mine and the solution was mine but my reason for doing it was still totally tangled up in her. Probably because of guilt for causing the situation in the first place but none of that matters. I’ve got more work to do on this.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/21 08:18 PM
0

Shit, yeah I see your point. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/21 06:11 PM
6

Now we’re talking. I used to think of saying no as being mean. I now see that it is an even greater gift than saying yes. It’s one that was much harder for me to give in the beginning. But as I’ve continued pushing forward I’ve seen how much more valuable it is than placating in the moment.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/21 05:27 PM
3

I'm going to take your last few sentences and reread them until they're committed to memory. Even better than reading is action. Find a way to put this into practice today. Then tomorrow, reset and do it again. Before you know it you won’t need to rely on memory because it will become a part of who you are.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/21 05:24 PM
5

Appreciate it. This is the foundation of unfucking myself. Now the real work of building what I want can begin.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/21 05:16 PM
1

Why I am here: I am looking to work on myself, better myself, take ownership of myself and thus in turn be a better husband to my wife and father to my daughter (and any other future kids I might have). This is incredibly vague. While you’re at the beginning stages do some digging and honest reflection. What brought you here? What do you really want? How do you think you might get there?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/21 12:15 AM
1

Giving away all of your stuff isn’t for everyone. It’ll probably make a lot of people miserable. But taking time to figure out what you want and trying some dramatic things to see what makes you happy is incredibly important. Linoleum is such a banger. Haven’t thought about that song in a while. Fuck yeah I’m adding that to my gym playlist.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/21 01:35 PM
1

I am not facing any great challenges at the moment and that worries me, I had this same experience. After you get over the initial negative it can make you feel a bit directionless. After all, when bad shit Is happening you are automatically laser focused on where to apply efforts. Now is the time to shift into working on building the positives you want. What do you want your ideal life to look like? How will you get there? That’s the work now. It takes considerable more introspection than fight…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/21 01:21 PM
1

I've been conflicted with RP mentality of not having female friends (waste of time/energy). When I first got here I would have told you that I was drawn to women friends over men. That I was naturally more comfortable around them. Truth is I was just dependant on women friends for validation. I was also uncomfortable with my masculine self so I didn’t jive as well with guy friends. As I’ve killed the need for that female validation there’s been a huge shift. I’m still friendly with those women, …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/21 03:53 PM
2

When you fantasize or have sex dreams are they about trying to figure out how to make your wife cum? I sure hope not. You’re basically here wondering why you don’t stay hard while doing a jigsaw puzzle. Of course you won’t stay hard while you’re doing something that has nothing to do with your own sexual desire. Add in the fact that you’re scared of your wife and now you’re on a high wire doing a puzzle. What good is a boner at that point? Your body is responding to the bizarre position you’ve b…
/r/askMRP10/11/21 03:21 PM
2

OYS 20 Bit late on this one. I made a business deal that had me busy from morning until night yesterday. 32 | 5’10” | 175lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 90 SQ175 DL 225 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male, SGM and sidebar. What do I want: I care about freedom above almost all else. I could make more money if I built a bigger business around what I do, but I would sacrifice what I really want which is autonomy and freedom. I like taking on challe…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/21 02:46 PM
23

His wife is ‘doing dread’ real well though. She seems to have great outcome independence, DNGAF, STFU passing shit tests. Honestly she’s killing it. Got his hamster spun up real good.
/r/askMRP07/11/21 06:19 PM
1

Every Tuesday there’s a thread posted called Own You Shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/21 02:18 AM
3

You aren’t special. Lift. Read the sidebar material. Post in OYS thread. If you don’t care enough to do that, you’re fucked.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/21 12:55 AM
2

I think yours is a good additional perspective actually. I called it out because there wasn’t much written and the basis for it being positive was that the woman reacted positively to him. It wasn’t that it was a part of his larger development or plan. You could be right that this is a positive step and realization of abundance. I’ve also seen a lot of friends get into serious relationships with the first woman who validates them after a breakup. The second can be insidious and attractive when y…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/21 02:40 PM
1

Normal stuff except I decided to meet a woman I’d met on an app. Great to experience genuine desire again. And for me, I won’t be investing any time in any woman again without that being there. Swap out the word desire for validation and I think you’re a lot closer to the truth. Getting validation from women who don’t know how needy you are yet is the easiest shit in the world. Do you want to fix yourself, or do you want to feel good?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/21 12:40 PM
3

Joked to wife afterwards, good thing I was home when this happened. I cannot imagine the emotional breakdowns had I not. It would be better if your wife could count on you to handle shit without being asked for validation afterwards.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/21 12:54 AM
1

In therapy we figured a pattern I use. I get angry, but am afraid to display it. So I start acting in a way that I know will make another person angry. That way, my anger will find release in another person. Good to identify this. Now what are you going to do instead?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/21 12:40 AM
1

Sex dream This is good shit dude. If this were my dream I would take it as a signal that some of the things you’ve been working on are being internalized. Dreams come from the pre language part of our brain and express things to us using symbols. Only you could know specifically what these obstacles represent but I’ll tell you what my take would be if this were mine. First obstacle: some people can see us. Do you think the opinions of others has been an obstacle to getting that you want in life …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/21 12:07 AM
1

This is good advice. Thanks dude.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/21 06:06 PM
4

Yes that’s totally it. I was brought up in a very fundamentalist church so the sex = bad brainwashing was pretty intense. It’s a total grind undoing many years of that. I was in that environment long enough that it’s deeply integrated. Once I left religion I just operated in women’s sexual frame as a way of avoiding shame. Rather than face the conflict between what I wanted and the shame I’d been instilled with I’d let a women take the driver seat. She’d take the brunt of being a sexual being an…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/21 04:37 PM
3

TLDR : Overall shitty repport, unstructured, and filled with unconnected dots from my daily notes. I don’t think you’ll get very far this way. I think of my OYS as asking the questions ‘where am I going?’ And then listing the steps I’m taking to get there. This report feels like you’re standing still and just writing down the things you see around you. Where do you want to go? How are you getting there?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/21 03:28 PM
3

100% this. Wife is miserable, life is bad. Wife is nice and wants to reconcile, life is good. Wife is miserable again, life is miserable again.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/21 02:18 PM
4

OYS 19 32 | 5’10” | 175lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 90 SQ175 DL 225 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. Mission: I’ve got a list of goals that I’m really fired up about. Anytime I’m doing some shit I don’t feel like, as long as it’s leading to those goals I can think about that and it’s the kick in the ass I need to get moving. Routine: I’ve got a routine going that I love. Lifting 3x per week, working from a common office 2x per…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/21 02:10 PM
20

At the same time some women will view you as a creep, a cad, a cheat, etc. All the shaming words basically used for guys who decide to follow their innate sexual purpose of mating with multiple women. The way these imaginary women view you for living the life you want should be so far down your list of priorities you can’t even see it. But I don’t think you’re even being honest about that. I think this is just you projecting your blue pilled ‘what if’s’ as an excuse to justify staying a coward. …
/r/askMRP01/11/21 08:59 PM
5

That’s one of my favourite quotes. It perfectly sums up the relation to the unconscious and the value of exploring it. It’s funny how we all more or less accept that animals come loaded with complex latent knowledge and instincts but we give very little thought to what our own collective unconscious might contain. People on this sub talk a lot about authenticity and congruence. It’s a hard topic to speak practically about because so much of it is ‘feeling’ your way around. I watched a JBP lectur…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/21 03:26 PM
3

(listen! not read) of TWOTSM. Strongly agree. I’m in the process of listening through for the third or fourth time and making notes this time. There is gold in that book. A few times I’ve been going through a situation and I can hear the narrators voice ringing in my mind with the answer.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/21 06:47 PM
1

I like this much better than your OYS. Some real honest shit in here man. The sex thing is difficult, she is very introverted and uncomfortable talking about sex. Maybe she can sense that I am not very attracted to her physically. She’s not really my type. Anyhow, my wife is not my type physically. Remember what you said about putting pressure on you to make you happy. I think you’re doing the same with sex here. She’s never going to overcome you not being attracted to her and fulfil you sexuall…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/21 01:47 PM
2

I have worked on removing several detrimental things from my life. Have you removed them or just worked on removing them. If the latter what is the result so far? My improvements and new mental point of origin have caused my wife to step into a much more feminine role. She has begun to dress feminine in cute skirts and mis drift tops, grown her hair out, started putting on makeup, and getting her nails done. I am very happy with the improvements and direction This strikes me as you taking credit…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/21 12:55 AM
2

Going to deer here. Ain’t that the truth.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/21 05:43 PM
1

Why is it that I have feelings of content and satisfaction when she is beside me? When we are together hanging out? It's easy to get complacent when I'm with her. It's easy to get comfortable. She takes care of me, cooks for me, gives me affections, makes me feel warm inside. It's what I've always wanted, I’m going to take a swing and say your meeting some mother type needs with this woman. I don’t know what your exact mommy issue might be but I’m thinking you’ve got one. Focus on why you’re so …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/21 05:17 PM
1

Hahaha very well put.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/21 02:34 PM
4

You’re pretty deeply in her frame. She speaks and you act. She touches your junk and the world is good, she challenges you and the world is bad. She immediately had a smirk on her face and told me "I poke because you say you don't care about money but this is proof I do and blah blah"... It sounds to me like she could sense your incongruence around money. You said one thing and she didn’t believe it so she tested and you showed her the real truth. If you don’t like this behaviour then be congrue…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/21 02:16 PM
3

32 | 5’10” | 175lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 160 OHP 90 SQ170 DL 220 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. Mental: About three years ago I wrote out some goals for my future self. Some of them felt impossible at the time. I realized this week I’ve accomplished nearly all of them. I’ve been feeling a bit listless lately and I think it’s because I’ve arrived at the destination id set out for and hadn’t planned for the next one yet. Th…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/21 12:39 PM
8

This is great. I’ve read a ton of Carl Jung (hear me out) and he has a similar technique called active imagination that can be done through meditation writing like this or even artwork. His idea is that it’s a sort of loose structure to help you commune with the unconscious. notice too that you feel like you're learning something new, but also that it feels very familiar (an extremely satisfying sensation, I think). This reminds me a lot of the revelations I’ve had from active imagination. These…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/21 10:46 PM
3

I get the feeling you’re making a mountain out of a dog turd to avoid actually owning some shit in your life. There is no way your neighbour’s leaf blower is the most serious thing wrong with your life. Take an honest account of your life and write about something that matters. Better yet, do something.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/21 04:05 PM
1

Relationships I've been caught in this cycle. Get shit together -> Get satisfied in relationships and self improvement -> Get bored and look for more satisfaction through drugs, alcohol and videogames -> Get devoured in a Hell of my own creation -> Get sober and start over again Couple things here. Your relationship shouldn’t be the measure of your whole life. This cycle is based on your relationship which means it’s based on how your woman thinks/feels about you. You need to get out of her fram…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/21 01:23 PM
2

You sound like every other 19 year old in a relationship but with more jargon. u/threekindsoflucky summed it up perfectly. Either it's a deal breaker for you, or it isn't. You get to decide that, not us. That’s truly the only thing worth thinking about here.
/r/askMRP21/10/21 01:08 PM
6

I tried to write up a thread about it with some pretty disastrous results. Lesson learned, don't go into this shit half-cocked. You can't provide value if you don't even really understand what you're trying to tell others about. You’ve got to understand, this community has been around for years. There are guys posting here that have been thinking about the concepts, working on them, applying, adjusting and sharing for years. It’s pretty egotistical to think that after a couple of months you’ll b…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/21 03:51 AM
1

Thank you. I’ve taken a lot of notes from this place to clear out the negative. Now I get to look inward to build the positive and find my own way forward using that as the foundation. Grateful to everyone who’s taken the time to call me on my shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 05:57 PM
3

I nuked her test and told her i dont think I should spend that much on a wife who isnt even willing to give me a back massage. “If I spend lots of money on you, you should rub my back.” This is a covert contract. One has nothing to do with the other until you link them in your mind. i said it was time consuming and i would need some love every night while i was working on it. How’s negotiating desire been working for you so far? If you don’t want to do those things for your wife that’s fine but …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/21 05:39 PM
1

I thought “all right then, that’s it”, and headed to the meetup thinking we would be breaking up. Turns out breaking up hadn’t even crossed her mind, so when we eventually met up and I suggested that ending the relationship was probably the best solution for both of us, she stared at me in disbelief and got angry. I got her to calm down more easily than usual and explained how I had been feeling lately. Apparently, “she didn’t know”. She cried and apologized. You sort of accidentally backed into…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 10:02 PM
1

it's hard for me to get it up the first time I'm with them, I don't like her face enough to hit her up and try again. Must be a testosterone thing. Hopefully some good vitamin supplements and more squats will help treat it. I mean it sounds to me like you’re fucking girls you’re not even into for some reason. Rather than vitamins it might be worth looking at why.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 09:13 PM
1

her intention was to offer a free HJ. I’m not sure why she needs to tell you it’s free but we’ll leave that one alone for now. I rationalized by saying to myself it was not enough engagement from her side ... Enough engagement for what? For you to cum? Or for you to get the sweet validation that you crave? I think we both know it’s the second. You are using sex to get validation. Read this then get to work
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 05:29 PM
1

Well said. I feel like that’s exactly where I’m at. I spend a lot of time stepping on my own dick. Now that I’ve finally got both feet off my dick I’m realizing I can walk wherever the hell I want to.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 03:44 PM
1

Good to hear. I’ll share once it’s done. I too spend a very long time trying to fix her and make her happy.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 01:41 PM
2

As long as your reason for being here is to make her act differently it’s not going to work. The point of all of this is to make yourself better. You’ll end up as a man with options and abundance as a result. If she takes notice and wants to keep you around, great. If not, that’s on her. Until you get to this point mentally you’ll continue doing gymnastics.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 01:40 PM
3

I refused sex again. I was passive, she initiated. She touched me, then I moved to touch her and she shut down. Fine. This is the second time I do it and I am getting the fun of it. Something is off here. If she initiated why would she shut down when you touch her? It sounds a bit like you’re trying to get revenge on her by shutting down sex to make her feel bad. That’s the opposite of OI or DGAF. There’s a change she didn’t shut down she just went submissive waiting for you to lead and take con…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 01:06 PM
3

Career Following up on this post I realized that I’m not owning my shit at work. I’m achieving some goals, but I’m late on a lot of deliverables, sometimes by a few days, other times by droppping completely some commitments I made. The single biggest competitive advantage I’ve found since starting my business is being reliable. Some people might be capable of more flashy work but I always deliver when I said I would. When clients think of working with other guys they think of the anxiety of wait…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 12:57 PM
2

OYS 17 32 | 5’10” | 175lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 160 OHP 90 SQ170 DL 220 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. I started reading My Secret Garden. I don’t find any of the specifics of the book particularly useful. More talk of dog fucking than I needed in ten lifetimes. I’m going to keep reading though. I grew up in a fundamentalist church being told women are sexless and fucking is bad. This feels like a good way to reprogram th…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/21 12:07 PM
2

Good on you for admitting that. I think u/oobertas had a great advice for an action plan. I’d also spend some time thinking about why you need approval like this. Then work on finding ways to give it to yourself that don’t involve other people.
/r/askMRP18/10/21 12:29 PM
19

Why do you think you feel the need to correct people? You say yourself you know that micromanaging isn’t a good way to lead. So you must get something else out of it. My guess is it’s ego. You see correcting people as a way to prove how smart or good or ____ you are. If it was really about the tile floor you’d say “painting can get kind of messy, I’m going to grab a drop cloth for you so you don’t have to worry about it.” but it isn’t about the floor is it? Build a more solid confidence and appr…
/r/askMRP18/10/21 04:14 AM
1

I think of frame as an understanding of what I want and where I’m going. An understanding that’s been internalized to a deep enough level that it’s resistant to being rattled or swayed by the people or circumstances around me. You got rattled by needing to poop so, no I don’t think that’s frame you’re feeling.
/r/askMRP13/10/21 07:36 PM
1

I realized I was using withdrawal of my time/affection as a way to punish my wife. I would hold a boundary and withdraw, but when my wife came around I wouldn’t reward the good behaviour, I would not reset. I had a hard time calibrating this too. It’s like the act of withdrawing automatically put me in a punishing revenge mindset. I think it was a new behaviour for me to do one without the other. Was a conscious effort to reset and avoid the revenge bitterness at first but like any muscle it gro…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 02:54 AM
1

You start your post with ‘About me’ and then just describe various situations with your ex and very little about you. What do you want? Start there.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/21 01:55 AM
2

Post your current lifts. No one expects them to be good when you’re just getting started. Mine suck. You’ve got goals which is good but you need to own where you’re at too. I’d leave sex god method alone and focus on NNMNG, WISNIFG and MMSLP + sidebar for now. If you’re still jacking to porn and telling your wife to go fuck herself because you’re emotional, you’ve got lots of work to do before you worry about fucking better.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 06:53 PM
5

I kept going back and forth in my mind "would a guy who is high value's girl do something like this? She could have said no." Careful. This is a covert contract. If I level up to ‘x’ she’ll do ‘Y’ It’s the wrong reason to do anything. You viewed it as her not giving you the ‘high value man’ approval you are looking for from her. The only thing that matters is if you are okay with this behaviour and if not, why? If it’s an ego thing, you’ve got work to do. If it’s something you never want your wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 03:51 PM
3

You leave a lot of your OYS the same week to week, copy and pasted. Write it out each week, even if it feels like nothing has changed. This will force you to think it through each week and might lead to some new thoughts. More importantly it will drive home the things that haven’t changed and spur you to action. If you want things to change, do something different. Don’t copy and paste; that’s how you stay where you are.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 02:04 PM
2

OYS 16 32 | 5’10” | 170lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 140 OHP 80 SQ155 DL 210 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. Mission: To live and give from a place of complete freedom and self-determination. To grow daily and multiply my gifts to myself and the world. To notice the things that make me burn a little brighter and fill my life with them. To maximize my living while I’m on the earth and take life for all of its joys and pleasures …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 12:57 PM
1

I’m glad it’s helpful. It makes you anxious because a lot of your self worth is tied up in her approval. Have you read No More Mr. Nice Guy yet? If not, read it now. If you have, read it again. Boys are largely raised by women from infancy to adulthood. Their ability to tolerate the tension of conflict with mother is labeled as bad. In school most teachers are women and their ability to stand strong in conflict with them is once again labeled bad. This forms a pattern of avoiding tension with wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/21 12:16 AM
1

inner child I realized that I didn’t love my inner child, that I thought him ugly and a little cunt. I had this exact same experience. I loathed myself and my inner child. Changing that was absolutely critical in turning myself around. Until you love and approve of yourself you’ll never find it important enough to stand up for yourself or make sure you get what you want. no sex unless you get me horny » policy. This is solidly in her frame. Try ‘no sex unless I want it.’ Or even better ‘sex if I…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/21 02:20 PM
1

Maybe I could. In the past 14 years, with my thoughts, I have visualized it and imagined cutting her out. I have even tried it before. The thoughts make me angry and needier. This is not a good route for me. Don’t imagine yourself cutting her out to get back at her and even the score. Visualize yourself as so abundant and attractive that if someone crosses a boundary you remove them from your life for you. You do it to free yourself up to pursue one of your many better options. That’s the key to…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/21 02:35 AM
2

Focus on yourself. Ignore her. Ignore all women for a while if you need to. Lift, read the sidebar, write daily to clarify your thinking. As you improve yourself you’ll realize that beautiful women are not rare. They are one of the most abundant and common things on earth. The woman you’re stuck on now is not special. There are millions of others like her. The more you improve the more options will be available to you. Eventually, you’ll have so many options that you won’t even want to focus on …
/r/askMRP06/10/21 03:23 PM
1

I need to get out of the validation mental model where I care about her orgasm and use it to validate myself. When I become attractive, she will fucking come for me. This is still in her frame. You set up becoming attractive as a way to meet your ultimate goal of making her come. You need to do this for you. life as a more attractive version of yourself is a better life. If she comes as a result, cool. If not, fine. Fuck the world. I validate me. My accomplishments and wins are mine. I take the …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/21 05:00 PM
1

This week was the first time that became crystal clear to me. I had to watch it play out in real time to get it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/21 02:06 PM
1

OYS 15 32 | 5’10” | 170lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 160 OHP 90 SQ170 DL 220 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSMX2, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. Mission: To live and give from a place of complete freedom and self-determination. To grow daily and multiply my gifts to myself and the world. To notice the things that make me burn a little brighter and fill my life with them. To maximize my living while I’m on the earth and take life for all of its joys and pleasures …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/21 12:36 PM
2

Vision: I light up a room with energy and fun, be it family, friends, strangers or work setting. Why do you want this? This might seem like nitpicking but I think it’s important. Is it because your deepest desire is to lift others up? Or is it because it will feel good to have others perceive you as fun and energetic? The first is good. The second means that your ultimate vision is to get approval from friends and family. Not good.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/21 03:16 PM
2

Last week I went Rambo, trying too many things at the same time, trying to act as if I was already a high value man. When you’re a mess it can be hard to know where to spend your energy. When I started here I’d read everything and everything applied because I had so many weak spots. It’s hard to make progress on 100 fronts at once. Once you’re done reading the sidebar material I’d recommend breaking yourself down into a few ‘topics’ that need attention and focus on them for a week or two at a ti…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/21 04:02 AM
2

My wife and I both work from home. I joined a coworking space a while back so I can be gone during the day when I choose to be. It’s a minimal cost, helps me concentrate on work, gets me around other people, builds my network and gives me some space. Being around your woman all day is an easy way to lose polarity. I’d recommend looking for something similar.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/21 01:55 AM
3

I was just making fun of myself a bit to make light of it. I agree completely, it doesn’t matter at all and I plan to keep doing it because it’s been working for me. I appreciate your point though. If I’m trying to get comfortable with myself hiding behind jokes is a defence mechanism I can do without. Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/21 10:17 PM
2

If I were more attractive, this wouldn’t be an issue. I’ve been given a dose of reality. Careful with this. I understand what you mean. Being attractive is the variable you can control. Expecting a specific outcome from that is a covert contract. True OI is “I’m going to become more attractive and she can decide if she wants to fall in line or not. If not, no problem, I’ll move on to XYZ”
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/21 08:39 PM
2

You’re not owning anything here. You’re blaming and giving this no effort. Take a look at everyone else’s posts, then look at yours. Notice anything? Spend the day figuring out what the fuck you’re doing and write a meaningful post about what’s wrong and how you’re planning to fix it. Then you’ll get some meaningful feedback and might stand a chance of improving. Or fuck off if that’s too much work.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/21 03:24 PM
1

You’ll need to put in more effort than this to get anywhere. What sucks? How is it your fault? What are you doing to fix it.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/21 03:07 PM
2

OYS 14 31 | 5’10” | 170lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 160 OHP 90 SQ170 DL 220 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. Mission: To live and give from a place of complete freedom and self-determination. To grow daily and multiply my gifts to myself and the world. To notice the things that make me burn a little brighter and fill my life with them. To maximize my living while I’m on the earth and take life for all of its joys and pleasures it…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/09/21 12:55 PM
2

Relationship: Girlfriend has always suffered from depression and anxiety. read this Health: I regularly suffer from bouts of insomnia which derail all of the above. I also struggle with this. Best I’ve found for me was supplementing Magnesium and being strict about no coffee after noon. Probably different for everyone but that has made a huge difference for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/21 02:22 PM
3

OYS 13 31 | 5’10” | 170lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 160 OHP 90 SQ170 DL 220 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. Mission: To live and give from a place of complete freedom and self-determination. To grow daily and multiply my gifts to myself and the world. To notice the things that make me burn a little brighter and fill my life with them. To maximize my living while I’m on the earth and take life for all of its joys and pleasures it…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/21 01:45 PM
3

I get it. Having someone bitching at you sucks. The amount you care about her bitching is directly proportional to the amount you’re dependant on her validation. It’s harder while she’s bitching? That’s sucks but it doesn’t change what you need to do.
/r/askMRP15/09/21 12:14 AM
6

You’re using your wife’s behaviour as the measure of if you’re succeeding or not. This isn’t about her, it’s about you. Get yourself in order. She’ll either follow or she won’t. At the end of the day you can’t control that. As long as you’re doing all of this with the goal of making your wife nicer you will fail every time.
/r/askMRP14/09/21 11:53 PM
1

Having a successful and generous father is nothing to be ashamed of. What you do, or don’t do, with that opportunity is what counts. Squandering it on becoming a man child is pathetic. Using it as the foundation to begin building a life of your own vision or a safety net to take a big swing in life without being reckless, that’s something to be proud of. Opportunity doesn’t mean much, it’s what you make of it. Take some time to think about the life you truly want in more detail. You need a prett…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/21 11:10 PM
3

OYS 12 31 | 5’10” | 170lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 160 OHP 90 SQ170 DL 220 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. Mission: To live and give from a place of complete freedom and self-determination. To grow daily and multiply my gifts to myself and the world. To notice the things that make me burn a little brighter and fill my life with them. To maximize my living while I’m on the earth and take life for all of its joys and pleasures it…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/21 12:50 PM
2

paternity test
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/21 03:07 AM
3

I had a lot of repressed emotions and would shut down in emotionally intense situations. Here’s what worked for me: You need to reprogram the significance of these emotions. When you were a kid an emotionally volatile parents was a big deal because that parent was your lifeline. Without them you die. Now you are an adult and that is no longer the case. Others emotions typically mean very little to you in real terms. But you’re stuck having the same reaction you had as a kid because it worked the…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/21 01:48 PM
1

You are trying really hard to always do the red pill thing in every situation. Chill out a bit and reframe your thinking. It’s about doing what YOU want, not redpilling the hardest. What do you want? When you say you’ll break up if you go long distance is that because you think that’s the right answer, or because that’s something you’re not willing to do? Is it actually a personal value of yours? I doubt it because you crumbled the second when she called your bluff. I do not show her my emotions…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/21 01:42 PM
5

Thank you. Your advice played a big role in getting me to this point.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 05:57 PM
3

You’re going to have to check your ego before you’ll find any help on this sub. A few guys have done you the favour of pointing out some uncomfortable truths. Instead of accepting or even considering them you’re making excuses or arguing. Your ego is a bit out of control. Check yourself. Stop with the excuses. Listen. Reflect.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 05:52 PM
2

You have an unavailable wife and your fantasies are an expression of what you think the solution looks like. I’m telling you they’re wrong. Do you think a man with abundant options would beg, plead, convince, manipulate, trick or otherwise convince a woman to fuck him? No. What does that say about the man who watches another man do those things?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 04:58 PM
5

The porn in your post history is full of women being talked into sex, worn down or convinced. This is extremely illustrative of your mental model around sex and it’s all fucked up. Literally the exact opposite to an abundance mindset. My guess is you posting here is part of the search for the magic phrase, technique or cheat code that’s going to make your wife fuck you. That will never work.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 04:00 PM
4

I think it’s telling that you start your OYS by describing yourself as a mid 30’s couple. The way you talk about sex is 100% in your wife’s frame. It’s all about her getting off, her having a good time and her not initiating. There are a ton of ‘we’ ‘her’ and ‘she’ in your OYS. Your preferred pronouns should be I and Me, not She/Us/We
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 03:51 PM
2

I’m at a very similar place. The things you wrote remind me a lot of myself. Before I can do any of the more advanced work there’s a necessary foundation of self discovery to build. One thing I found helpful was to identify buffers I use to keep me from knowing myself. For instance I would keep a fairly constant stream of podcasts, audiobooks, music and shows on to keep me from confronting my own thoughts. I cut that out cold turkey for a few weeks to give my mind room to explore and process. Fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 02:26 PM
2

OYS 11 31 | 5’10” | 170lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 160 OHP 90 SQ170 DL 220 Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, TWOM, WISNIFG, Rational Male and sidebar. Depressive and anxious wife: how’s it’s all my fault. This has become crystal clear to me this past week. My wife’s issues with depression and anxiety are my fault. I have been a people pleasing nice guy with secret resentment for years. Women aren’t stupid. They can see those hidden emotions and resentment a mile away. Th…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 01:31 PM
1

OYS WEEK 10 31 | 5’10” | 170lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids OHP 75 SQ135 DL 185 Back after rule 9 violation. Glad this happened. There is a difference between understanding a concept and actually internalizing it. I have become wholeheartedly focused on myself and improving for me. My relationship is entirely beside the point and if it dies as a consequence of this process, that is a price I am willing to pay to become who I am. Reading: NMMNGx3, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, TWOM, WISNIFG, …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/21 12:08 PM
6

My goal: Have a submissive wife. I think this is going to be a problem for you. Having your wife’s state of being as a goal is going to have you acting all sorts of ways to try and change her which isn’t much different from just being in her frame. Why do you want this? Is it because you have a specific vision for your life and you want to build that life and invite her along? If so, start building. Focus on that work because there’s heaps to do before you even worry about her. There’s also a pr…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/21 10:55 PM
3

She absolutely is a great first mate. The only reason we don’t have that dynamic set in stone already is me. I swear to god she’s spit red pill concepts at me almost word for word in an effort to get me to take control. I had/have a lot of fears and self doubt to overcome so I can trust myself before she can also trust me. Im lucky in that things never got terrible between us but I also realize I’m definitely the weak link in this situation. That’s great news because that’s the only person I am …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/21 03:59 PM
1

I did self authoring about 5 years back. I found it very helpful in a sort of, state of the union / cards on the table kind of way. As someone who’s done it I’d say keep at it, it’s worth it. I think it’s worth doing every few years honestly. I’m pretty confident the things that consumed my writing in it last time wouldn’t even register as things I’m concerned with now.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/21 12:56 PM
8

OYS 3 31 | 5’10” | 167lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 160 OHP 90 SQ165 DL 220 Reading: NMMNGx2, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, TWOM, WISNIFG and sidebar. Currently reading Rational Male Mission: To live and give from a place of complete freedom and self determination. To grow daily and multiply my gifts to myself and the world. Mental: It’s clear to me now that the only reason I’ve ever fucked before was validation. It’s been a little harder than expected to get past that and reform my men…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/21 12:22 PM
7

You have decided that every time your wife rejects you, you’ll have a specific reaction to it. (Move forward with dating others) Sort of like you have a contract with her. Thing is… she doesn’t know about the contract. So you’ve formed a covert contract. So either tell her that’s what’s happening, or take responsibility and choose. Either date others or don’t. Don’t make her make this decision without knowing. You’re doing this to save yourself from feeling guilty about it by making yourself bel…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/21 01:30 PM
2

decided to have options and will look at dating apps. Every hard no I get I do one step forward (download, create account, …). This is a pretty glaring covert contract. Do you want to use a dating app or not? That’s the only question to ask yourself in this situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/21 08:15 PM
2

OYS 2 31 | 5’10” | 165lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 160 OHP 80 SQ160 DL 220 Reading: NMMNGx2, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, TWOM and sidebar. Currently reading Rational Male & WISNIFG. Mental: I can feel myself becoming more assertive and paying better attention to my true desires every day. It’s still a conscious effort but it’s progress. Last week I realized I need to figure out what I really want in life. This is a disorganized list. Next week I will try and distill this into a more …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/21 12:19 PM
1

OYS 1 31 | 5’10” | 165lbs - 19% BF (navy) Married 2 years - no kids Bp 160 OHP 80 SQ160 DL 220 Reading: NMMNGx2, MMSLP, MAP, TWOTSM, TWOM and sidebar. Currently reading Rational Male & WISNIFG. Mental: Despite lots of work my mental models are still pretty fucked up. I was raised in a fundamentalist religion that blasted oneitis and sexual toxic shame so deep into my psyche it’s been a motherfucker to get rid of. I’ve been working on building my own sense of self worth and identity, keeping and …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/21 01:08 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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