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15

DiscussionThisBoringLife/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 09:20 PM
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

If you are doing group purchases, you'd be buying for yourself and your partner (because if you live together, why the hell are you buying groceries just for yourself?). It's mutual aid, and again, doesn't matter if it's a chore if it needs to be done regardless. Your privilege here is that you have some say as the one doing the purchasing (if not explicitly agreed upon prior), to address the chore as you wish. Other chores lack that flexibility. My point has been the same since the beginning: T…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:35 PM
2

Sure, but if you don’t stay on top of purchases, you risk people not having enough stuff and having to pay more for it. Good purchasing takes planning While I get what you're saying, I don't see it being something that I haven't mentioned in my comment. Gotta communicate on what's needed, and manage your purchases based on your budget.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:30 PM
-1

It may be a chore, but it's still something in which you have choice on how you decide to manage. Even now, your complaints here are simply lack of options (it's shopping for groceries; how many options do you need for potatoes?), time consumption (still needs to be done, and as mentioned by the other guy, you can expedite it through online ordering), and boredom (god forbid someone is bored doing something during their day). Barring external context, these are not issues at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 05:26 PM
1

I'm gonna have to agree with LopsidedPen9859 here. This is a non-issue imo. If you have the choice of purchasing goods, then you get to choose. Hell, even I don't like shopping, but it's not that big a deal. Get what's needed, sometimes you can go a little pricier if the budget allows, and then wait in line to pay for stuff. It doesn't torture me to cycle around a supermarket for fifteen minutes, then wait twenty more standing in line. If there's a communication issue about what to buy, then tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 03:38 PM
–

I think part of the issue of course is how advice is applied personally to one's own dating situation, and its effectiveness. I'm sure generic advice like "just be yourself" has been mentioned throughout history, even if it was worded differently. I just think that for those here, who feel such words don't help them, also look towards who is saying such things and come to the conclusion that age is the problem. For your third point, I don't disagree with your last statement, however I do think o…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:04 PM
–

There's certainly a shift in culture imo that makes it so that older folks who haven't had to engage in dating for a while may not have the most appropriate advice to give younger people. Some things can certainly still apply, but it's not something that can be relied on as readily.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:58 PM
1

Ultimately, unless people actually know you, I certainly don't think people have these superhuman abilities of spotting "fake" despite what people say online and in the media. As for too much effort, sure. Some folks don't have the "battery" to continuously act in such a manner just for a chance of social success. That may take some training to build, but that requires people to want it. Sometimes it's hard to justify that effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 08:34 PM
7

I think to an extent, especially for the introverted folks, "just be yourself" is just poisonous advice that'll do more harm than good. I don't think you need to adopt a completely different persona just to socialize, but adjust parts of yourself that makes the social arena difficult for you: If you're someone who doesn't really talk, make it a more dedicated effort to talk. If your responses are normally short two-word quips, make an effort to be more open. I don't think one needs to go from wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 09:18 PM
1

I'd like to also assume to not everyone, men and women included, are deeply caring about the hobby/volunteer group they're in. Some, sure. But if it's a open group, outside of core members there's an expectation of a rotating cast of people that come in and out. That'll also run the spectrum of deep care and something to pass the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 09:13 PM
–

depends what you prefer for yourself. Of course, it's quite possible to be fake and still disliked, or authentic and liked. I think there's some folks who want to be liked, and will tolerate being fake for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 06:29 PM
2

It works for who it works for. No, it's not needed in modern day due to shift in culture and opportunities provided to both genders. However, if men and women are still expecting their partners to adhere to gender roles, it's only fine if their partners are fine with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 07:59 PM
3

Eh. Maybe it's me, but that doesn't sound like "gender roles and expectations", and more like "sometimes responsibilities need to be swapped". I'll assume your parents weren't pushing each other to do things they're not good at simply due to their gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 06:56 PM
–

But what you said here certainly doesn't imply that RP doesn't consider women as people with thoughts or feelings. Maybe they're listed as people that are not "special", but that's different from "not people".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 06:26 PM
2

To be silly here, that's why it's called a "man's world", and not "men's world".
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 08:57 PM
1

Other post is still up, at least not locked or removed. This user's account is one month old compared to the other's 11 years. Curious timing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 08:19 PM
1

Ain't this the same topic as mentioned before? Saying it's "easier than before" is to ignore cultural context of then and now simply due to amount of access.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 08:15 PM
0

As a young person? Not sure. It's not like they can turn back the hands of time and talk about dating as a 25 year old in 2026. What they can do, like many here, is listen to anecdotes of 25 year olds and compare it to their own personal experiences. But given they're telling me of their current dating experiences, and they're able to recognize a shift in the culture, I think they'd be more qualified to say if things are "more difficult" compared to just "difficult". I can also respect there's d…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 04:58 PM
3

It certainly doesn't put dude in a positive light, I'll say that. Hard to disagree with your opinion on this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 12:58 PM
8

Eh. Sex work is fast money, particularly when women are strapped for cash, and getting the equivalent in more sensible ways are outside their means to get. I think it the same way as when people talked about selling drugs: When selling drugs earns them more money than working at McDonald's, it makes an enticing option.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 03:01 AM
1

From those who are older than me, they've told me that dating is more difficult than it was in the past. So I'm inclined to believe so. My experience is shorter in scope.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 02:44 AM
6

Yep. Problems don't disappear; they just become unspoken, for people to pretend it doesn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 02:25 AM
2

It certainly justifies bigotry of all kinds.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 02:21 AM
1

Two ways to look at this: From a dating perspective and from society. From society, I think incentivizing good actions is what helps keep people moving in a way society would want its people to act. It's basically the flipside of punishing bad actions; you want to reduce the occurrence of people doing bad things? Sufficiently punish them for it, and it may surprise you to see those things be done less. From a dating perspective, it's hard to tell people to "incentivize good actions", because how…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 05:12 PM
3

Proportionality of deed to reward: If you're doing something small for someone, the expected reward would also be something small. If you hold the door open for a woman, you wouldn't expect her to want to have sex with you for that. If the "better treatment" is deemed a small improvement, the expected reward wouldn't be valued so high to put sex on the table. But that's more on what you and that particular woman consider "appropriate compensation".
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 04:59 PM
0

Not gonna lie, I've seen the opposite. When I've gone to bars, the women who weren't talking to their friends or partners were glued to their phones. Maybe the point was to approach in such a way she'd focus on me instead of her phone, but it certainly is a obstacle to overcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 07:22 PM
1

The issue is, is that the shift in culture has made certain dynamics impossible. As an example, applying for jobs; in the time of my parents, applying for work was as direct as going to a local shop and asking the manager for a position. That's not possible, as the majority of the time you'd be pushed over to apply online. So any advice about heading to a store, giving the manager a firm handshake and looking them in the eye doesn't apply these days. It's easier to relate when the relationship s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 07:19 PM
2

You may want to ask OP about that. I certainly didn't mention a series of tests.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 06:37 PM
1

Which is why I said earlier "attraction makes the option available, but game secures it". It's unlikely this King Clav dude you're talking about would've had the opportunity to fumble if he wasn't attractive. But, since he had the opportunity, it means he needs to learn game from that point on. Personally, I think there's diminishing returns focusing on looks once you look good enough to get opportunity. Issue is, many dudes don't recognize that point for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 06:36 PM
2

Depends on how you're doing so, no? In general, dating is your chance to vet potential partners. Do they maintain conversation? Are they focused on you or somewhere/something else? Do they hold the door open for you? That and other details is part of that process. Some things for that person might be a red flag, like inquiring about their financials, or talking about politics or religion.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 06:31 PM
1

Even then, pen pals required a bunch of effort that I personally haven't seen applied to dating apps. Think about the effort to writing multiple paragraphs about yourself and inquiring about your pen pal, then going to put the money down on the stamps to ship it out to wherever they live. Way beyond what you'd get in a standard match on Tinder and the like. Plus the fact that it simply was not common. Certainly not at the rate that people use dating apps these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 06:26 PM
2

Eh. Do anything? No. It does generally get you farther than not being hot when it comes to dating, though. However, that's because I personally haven't seen dudes who genuinely look atrocious get the ladies over dudes who look like models.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 06:24 PM
1

Long distance relationships aren't new, but unless it was common to start such relationships with pen pals they've never met before, it's not the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:48 PM
5

That's basically it, no? Attraction makes the option available, but game secures it. Need one before the other, but they're both required.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 05:43 PM
1

Sure. That piece of trivia doesn't change the fact that it is not critical to anybody's health, and that I do not believe it should be covered by the government.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 05:30 PM
2

I've always wondered: How else are people expected to know anything about you beyond the visual at first sight? Wouldn't it be more creepy to have someone recognize you have a particular hobby, when you're showing nothing that expresses it? How about your favorite music artist? They'd have to be uncomfortably close to you to notice the music you're listening to (unless you play music very loudly in public). Same with any other personal detail. I dunno, approaching with anything beyond appearance…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 09:48 PM
5

I've heard of women having balding issues as well. I see them manage with hats and wigs. Even if we can agree there is insecurity in baldness, it is not a societal issue that needs the government to cover what's essentially medically unnecessary treatment.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 09:38 PM
1

Here's the issue I see: For the sake of socializing and dating, you need to care about who you're trying to be with. You're not going to not care about people you're friends with, or people you're trying to date. Simply dismissing everyone won't get you that friendship you desire, or partner you want. It's easier if you are truly antisocial and have no need for socializing. However, that's a very limited amount of individuals compared to society at large.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 10:03 PM
2

There are people out there who don’t have a problem with me just for existing, but it’s not worth digging through the pile of shit just to find them. I need to find a place that isn’t a pile of shit. Work in progress. From the perspective of race and sexual marketplace, the issue here is that vacating your current living area to move elsewhere where you'd be accepted isn't a cheap endeavor, and it's certainly one not everyone can engage in. Some dudes can't just be a passport bro, like some blac…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 08:06 PM
3

I recall back in college a gay dude telling me (and a group of others) that he started going out with dudes because he was tired of dealing with women. I can either assume dude gave some cop-out reason as to why he's gay, or some folks do have more agency in their sexuality than what may be commonly accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 03:58 AM
1

Eh. Sure, who you may have an immediate crush on may not be something you have a choice in, but as others have said, you do have the agency to choose who you spend your time with, and analyze to see if they'd be someone you ultimately want. Dating apps: You have the choice to swipe on those you see as attractive to you, along with the choice to follow up on potential matches, go on dates, consider follow up dates, etc. The choice exists. Just depends on you to recognize the choices available and…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 03:56 AM
3

Part of the issue, I think: you can have people be outliers or "above the norm" and think their experience is the standard when the opposite is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 03:28 AM
2

Personally, it would work towards their own worldview if this sub gets banned due to inactivity. Proves that this topic is minor.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 02:59 AM
2

Love to hear what exactly your definition of blue pill is then. All I've been told so far is "blue pill is not red pill". At this point, I'm wondering what the response would be if I said red pill is against pedophilia.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 09:17 PM
5

Yep. SNL, and also has done movies. That's a tier of celebrity many would die for. Hell, he's higher profile imo than other dudes on SNL like Keenan Thompson.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 09:13 PM
3

the advice is used to help people find a better healthier relationship than average, but men don't care about this and only chase sex. Seems like half the issue is people not getting into relationships at all. No reason to find "better" when finding "any" is the priority.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 09:01 PM
3

You're right. The problem is trying to create content for everyone when most of the time, the answer is tailored to one's specific situation. And you can hardly make content on that. From what I see on youtube, I'm going to disagree with you heavily here. Many channels are niche channels. They have their particular type of content, and they attract the audience that's into that. I'm not saying every niche channel is going to blow up into the biggest thing out there, but it'll certainly gain popu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 04:29 PM
3

I suppose it's about appearances, but I think it's fair to say what's more important is beyond winning internet arguments with individuals we don't and won't know personally. It's quite possible those who report being happier single after relationships/marriages were quite displeased with them for various reasons, and are now allergic to the idea of being in another one. I also think in general many (if not most people) are reluctant to speak on their own flaws and fears online if they do not se…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 04:21 PM
2

Sure, but I think it's almost the equivalent of venting in front of a mirror or an empty space. While those strangers under ideal conditions may be empathetic to you, they're not going to be those who will follow up with you, or be a continuous source of connection to update about your life. All that to say I think it's not the ideal, but it's something.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 04:12 PM
1

I don’t see you being interested in cooperation. I'm curious: What would that "cooperation" look like, in your eyes? Does it require men to condemn every perceived negative interaction with women since the dawn of civilization? Or is it something more severe? The above is an exaggeration for flair, but it does come with a question of how to bridge this divide. If the intention is to reduce conflict between genders, how can that be done? Your earlier comment implies it's impossible, but I don't t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 04:05 PM
6

I think there's mainly manosphere content that tries to address this is because there's no real answer to "Why can't I find a woman?". Part of it is sociological. Part of it is luck. Some part of it may be the guy himself but it varies from person to person. I think of it like this: Imagine telling a kid in high school who struggles with not having a girlfriend (or worse, struggles with making friends) what you just said: "Who knows. It's luck, it's sociological. It varies from person to person.…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 01:07 PM
2

Birds of a Feather flock together. Nice, outgoing, happy people are still meeting each other and pairing off. There's not really an easy solution for antisocial grumps who don't like to talk to people. That's still ducking the question, as much as victim blaming. "If you can't get it, it's your fault. You need help? Well, too bad." Yet somehow there's surprise when people look towards folks online for some degree of guidance? Worse yet, campaign to remove that source of assistance, and leave no …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 01:01 PM
2

Even so, you'd think there would be an attempt to artificially place some dude in that role, and that never really happened. This might explain a lot of the "do it for yourself" mantra I hear, as there's no mentor figure to point the youth towards.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 12:57 PM
4

Why would I think there's a rising popularity of "women are trash" posts from a time period far before the current day? That's like saying people think slavery is okay because it was done long ago, which, unless you're looking in darker corners of the internet than I have, is far from a common consensus in any group. As for retaliation, there is no reason to believe it is some part of inevitable cycle. Society has gone well enough without too many cases of spouses killing each other or Jack the …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 12:49 AM
–

Having a hopeless outlook doesn't change the core ideology. What is the core ideology of black pill and red pill? At this point, it just sounds like "whatever I don't like is red pill" from your comments, which is why it helps to define what your side is, instead of saying " it's just not that". There is no data to support the 80/20 rule. Didn't this come out from OkCupid and Tinder data?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 12:41 AM
6

"Just not red pill" would include black pill, and whatever other variants that are out there. As for "nothing scientific", how are you defining this? Is this excluding those who experiment on their own and come to their conclusions? When data points like 80/20 come out, is that also excluded? Because the implication still exists here that blue pill is all scientific, and "just be yourself" would also fit under blue pill. Words like that certainly isn't scientific.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 08:04 PM
1

I mean, there's also the fact that there's successful individuals that say similar, if not the same exact thing despite not being someone who looks at that content.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 07:55 PM
4

I'd say a lot of "pill" talk is based on vibes. Maybe some data points here and there. Otherwise that implies blue pill is purely scientific. Which given the arguments here over the years, I'd say is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 07:53 PM
2

Any content creator targets middle school kids. Say something funny or controversial, have a wacky personality, and that's already aiming towards kids. Bonus points for streaming video games.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 07:50 PM
8

Don’t forget that red pill content also commonly blows “men are amazing” smoke up men’s asses. There’s just endless posts in red pill about how men are superior to women, how men built civilization all on their own while woke are just hypergamous leeching whores that exist to drain men of their resources. I've always wondered if this is just the response to what men saw in social media previously; the "men are trash" posts, the boss babes, etc. Even the very framework of hypergamy is: “all you h…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 07:47 PM
39

Here is the part people keep avoiding. Men are already looking for solutions to problems they're having that cause them to stumble into Red Pill and other manosphere content. And so long as those are the only groups offering any type of actionable solution, men will keep ending up watching content from those communities. I've always asked one question when it came to red pill/manosphere criticism: "If men shouldn't be listening to red pill or manosphere people, then who should they listen to?" U…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 07:38 PM
2

Do y’all ever strike up convos with men? Are you owed conversations with them? If you ask this question, you care enough to attempt to make a point. Do recognize this is what you asked, by the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 07:27 PM
1

It puts a sexual viewpoint on all actions, which is strange. Imagine declaring someone gay or bisexual because they happened to make small talk with someone of the same gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 07:26 PM
1

I don't really get OP's line of thought given escort services still exist, along with prostitution being a popular black market item (outside of specific locations). If constant sex was the issue, there's certainly spaces that exist where women will commit to doing something strange for some change.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:16 PM
5

"A lot" is a dumb initial statement. It makes for zero debate, it's the coward's choice, because it's completely unfalsifiable. It's also stupidly vague. "A lot of men" can be a handful of married men in a room, to a substantial percentage of the overall population. Of course, you mentioned this already. Of course, there's also no line of argument that leads to the conclusion that marriage is solely for constant access to sex, outside of just claiming it again at the end, with again no proof out…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:14 PM
1

Eh. Depends on how valued that friendship is, on both ends.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:11 PM
1

It's the same reason why cheaters can prosper: It's a system where honesty and integrity is proclaimed to be the default. Easier to get ahead when most folks follow the regular path and few take shortcuts. If everyone takes shortcuts, then that becomes the regular path. Also the interesting bit that individual focus for all can be ruinous for society. There needs sufficient buy in to be cohesive, and it's hard to have that when everybody is solely focused on getting theirs and that's it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 05:07 PM
1

No it can't. Modern society where the absolute majority of people don't know any sort of maintenance, going so far as people unable to cook for themselves? Yeah I'm gonna agree to disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 06:58 PM
3

That can be said of everyone at this point: On an individual level, all are self-sufficient for daily life: Able to have their own bank accounts, work for themselves, and do what they need to do. On a societal level? We'd be fucked. On a hypothetical that women sequestered themselves into some enclave away from men? They're taking a heavy hit to regular life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:11 PM
1

I can understand context matters, however I'd think if someone finds themselves in a social location (a bar, for example), they'd be more open to approach than a place like the middle of an empty street in the middle of the night (hyperbole, but an example for comparison). I think it should be fair to recommend times and places where it's more likely than not for approach. I'm certainly sure people can end up with a bad mood in a bar sometimes, but that shouldn't be the case the majority of the …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 04:26 PM
1

In terms of economics, "losing" can be mitigated with policies to help support the poor, elderly, and disabled. That at least should ensure they won't end up starving and homeless. In terms of dating, there's nothing of that sort. Usually community can mitigate "losses", but with an eroded community, people lack all support and end up on their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 04:20 PM
1

Sorry, but I don't understand "insecure" in this context. Are we talking people fearful of their current situation using that as justification to deny climate change? People burned by academia, and thus denying their findings as some strange method of revenge? Or are talking some random topic of "insecurity", like balding, and pointing that to denying climate change?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 07:21 PM
1

News propaganda points to immigrants, or men in women's bathrooms, or rising gas prices, or people getting laid off, or greedy companies raising costs. People see that. Either way, being "insecure" doesn't deny or approve of what someone considers an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 04:37 PM
1

When i debate with right wing people (lets be real, mostly men), they have a lot of fear. Climate change is real for example, but i truly believe a lot of men dont believe in it for reasons like "thats caring about flowers and trees and thats gay" type shit. I think it's one of those situations where the effects aren't immediate, and other things can be pointed to in their eyes. Even when we see things like insurance companies leaving certain areas as an example, other sources will be pointed to…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 03:58 PM
3

And even if you do have good social skills they're still not a guarantee you'll get the girl because dating is one of those things for men that is just that difficult and chaotic and what I mean by that is you could do everything you perceive to be right and still get perceived the wrong way As it has been said before: "You can make all the right moves and still lose". Not a bad lesson to learn from, if men weren't so heavily chastised for losing. I suppose my own personal issue with this is tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 03:35 PM
1

The Amish isn't a population that'll effectively cover the decline in population, given their fertility rate in comparison to the country's fertility rate, and that's before talking about the cultural clash between the Amish and everybody else living in modern society. Passing the buck off to another group isn't going to make the situation better
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 03:31 PM
6

I don't know if poor social skills is the main reason, but it sure adds to the list. I think the irony of "self-improvement" is that for social skills you'd still have to actively talk and interact with people. There is no void people can disappear to and return as social savants.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 05:58 PM
1

Vaguely interesting are for elective courses, not whole majors imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 09:59 PM
3

The question is rate. Same deal when mentioning the economy. There will be folks who'll get good jobs and can support increasing costs of living. Will there be more people that can support themselves, or less? Back to reproduction; will the percentage of people reproducing increase over time, or decrease? If the total population percentage is dropping, then those who are able to reproduce would need to do so in huge numbers to maintain population. Otherwise population drops over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 09:57 PM
3

It's less a threat and more a line of logic: If you don't see the value of putting in additional effort or have the need to engage in heavy labor, you won't. Stretch that to other men, and I could see it fitting. But given I've seen this line of logic in birth rate discussions, I'd say as a response that countries will try to supplement that with AI dreams and immigration, which will only work for so long.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 09:53 PM
9

It's the reason I'd say someone's past matters: There are things that someone may have done previously that would make you reconsider wanting to be with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 07:33 PM
4

But unless you know that for sure (and let's be honest, how would you know if someone is shitty for sure without being with them for any period of time?), it's just a guess that they're less shitty. Still, it points to attractiveness overtaking "shittiness/niceness" as a priority.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 07:24 PM
6

I suppose the confusing part is that even if we accept the hypothetical "nice guy" is also shitty as well, why wouldn't a less shitty person be considered an upgrade? Especially if genuinely shitty men are allowed a pass, it seems confusing that potentially shitty men are denied.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 07:04 PM
1

Some of our issues is that "legal" in some locations is younger than in other places (some places are 16, others are 18).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 07:52 PM
1

I think the issue is that people see enough examples themselves of individuals on social media being hypocrites and making double standards based on "us vs. them". Doesn't help when an individual labels themselves as whatever and act in such a way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 07:49 PM
2

I dunno. I think many are practical about their own circumstances, where they can't get the ideal, and thus go for an alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 07:33 PM
1

Huh. Weird question: How much physical attraction is sufficient physical attraction for that initial spark? I assume for everyone there is a baseline of physical features that is enough to qualify someone as attractive. If we're to take the common blue pill argument that "X person manages to pull frequently, and his looks are completely average!", then the threshold has to be low, even if it still exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 06:15 PM
2

Do you think attraction builds over time, or it's fully known at the first moment?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 04:18 PM
12

Sure, but at least said methodologies would be visible to people.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 09:38 PM
1

Running for president requires you to appeal to the majority of the population and not just a small social circle. So if anything, it should prove that people (in the USA at least) care a lot more about good social skills and charisma than they care about someone being a nice guy. I even presenting an everyday example of how women date/hookup with guys they self admit to not being nice then complain about later. I'd say still running for political office puts one far and away from where the comm…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:18 PM
2

I think there's a difference between particular personalities at high positions and day to day interactions between common men and women, the same idea that there's particular qualities that constitute a healthy long-lasting relationship that doesn't mesh with being a attractive individual. People get told being nice is valued to get by in day to day situations, which tends to be the case. However, dating isn't the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 06:42 PM
2

Thing is, becoming good at flirting and pickup doesn't depend on being nice or not. Attraction is generally amoral in practice. That may be so, but general social interactions in society is primarily based on being nice or not. The difference isn't something commonly preached.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 06:31 PM
3

The issue of being "nice" is that people are generally "nice" in society, and switching over to a persona that is not that takes a great deal of effort. Many aren't learning how to engage with flirting or handling the dating market at the same time they're learning to make friends or how to engage with strangers and elders. Being an asshole in regards to dating is a different look from being an asshole in regards to day to day living.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 04:41 PM
1

In terms of how I see society put it, people should be very self-sufficient. This is particularly so in today's society. Due to this, people aren't told to seek bonds with others, and thus "cope" with pets and hobbies of various kinds.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 05:13 PM
1

I dunno about that second point. I've had older coworkers point out the same issues that's normally discussed here. I do get the issue that older folks don't have the same exposure/experience of the dating culture now, but some do, and they recognize it personally in their own experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 07:29 PM
2

If she was "preserving evidence", it would make more sense to create a duplicate of the video on another device/cloud platform, present it to a lawyer to verify the lawfulness of her action, and then proceed from there? She did a very stupid thing, and those who agree with the stupidity certainly are displaying their intelligence in this situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 06:18 PM
1

Given the porn market, I certainly wouldn't say it's "devalued", although it's certainly not valued in the same way you may consider. Although it's quite a leap to start calling men who consume pornography misogynist.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 03:27 AM
2

A side note here: I do think there's a difference between what's legal and what's stigmatized. Take "snitching" for example. At least culturally in the US a while back, it was looked down upon to speak to the police, particularly reporting any crimes that take place. The power of community was strong then, so snitching was a good way to become ostracized, along with just being targeted by those same people who you reported on. That's the same case here: It's legal, sure, but it's incredibly look…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 05:02 PM
3

Ain't that part of the stigma though? How accepting is it if we are to say we view those who engage in it negatively?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 04:47 PM
1

The issues I still have about all this is that there is a lack of consistency with how we view the issue. If we want to stigmatize sex, then all of it should be stigmatized, including sex work in all its forms. However, things like OF is defended and justified despite the common knowledge of the sort of content those content creators on the platform make. So it seems to be okay for some. In short, there's a lack of consistency: Either say it's okay for such content creators to do their thing, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 04:45 PM
2

I'd still say OP has a point that the clientele of sex workers are still stigmatized, even if it is as you say, and the work itself has lost that stigma. However, given some responses here in the past, particularly for porn usage, I wouldn't say that men are more concerned than women about sex work.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 04:38 PM
1

I think a lot of men don't appreciate the amount of fear women are in just living their daily lives. It's an unfortunate bias of mine, because I do think if women were so crippled by fear to the level you are implying, they'd be the ones advocating for open carry in the US, or risk breaking the law elsewhere to carry knives or other such weapons. Simply put, the actions they perform while under such a fear doesn't match. There is nowhere you can migrate to where you can avoid all men, so "doing …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:03 PM
3

Then why did you say: Sexlessness is a good thing honestly. Can't say it's a good thing than say those who do it have a bad life. It's a contradiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 05:33 PM
3

Didn't answer my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:29 PM
2

Honestly, just sounds like someone who is scared with interacting with society in general. Whether or not the paranoia is founded on personal experience, it wouldn't be something that would be called "healthy" by current societal standards. However, if such fears do exist, it would make someone wonder why someone so fearful of their current environment hasn't done everything possible to escape it. I'd certainly think those with a similar mindset as to your comment would want to migrate away from…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:28 PM
1

If we're doing this again, may as well revisit the logic I have. There's four possibilities in the scenario: a non-hostile bear, a hostile bear, a non-hostile man, and a hostile man. So one case each where even in the worst aspect of it, they won't kill or harm you, and one case each where they will attempt to harm or kill you. The man wins out in the non-hostile cases, because at best you have someone who can actively help you either with supplies, or get to safety. At worst in non-hostile case…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:42 PM
6

Wait... sexlessness is good, but if they're a 40 year old virgin that's ultimately because they're an incel. But they're sexless their whole life. So is sexlessness good or bad?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:34 PM
1

We don’t have a lot of third spaces. I wonder about this statement. Really? I know my bias is based on my location, but I still don't think that makes much of a difference; Bars still exist, and so do community centers of various kinds (this includes churches). Websites like meetup show local groups and their particular interests, and there's always the ability to start an interest group of your own. I do think with the rise of smartphone apps and such, we all have this concept that everything s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:32 PM
5

Freedom to experiment requires less of a social punishment on failure. Sure, some folks may internalize their personal failures beyond what anyone else considers, but given social media's ability to amplify little things into bigger messes, I can see why people can feel cautious about it. Not sure what is possible to resolve this, but on an individual level it does require some degree of bravery.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:27 PM
2

Ultimately though, a sex doll is still just masturbation with fancy equipment. Enough people around say that actual sex with a person is a different experience from just masturbation, so unless these men are just looking to bust a nut in the most convenient way, they'd still look for women. As for actual socializing and intimacy, an actual woman would be preferred.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:22 PM
3

Eh. I think any group being radicalized is dangerous, honestly. Particularly when their ire is towards a particular group, and they are encouraged to act against that group. While I get covid, I'm just surprised about the cost of living. I would assume more people would look to live together to reduce costs, as pooling resources tends to be the most reasonable way to address high costs (like multiple people sharing the same Netflix account).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:10 PM
4

In this scenario, why do you fear the bear less?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:06 PM
3

Depends on what you want. Unfortunately, people take their own desires and project it to others. You'll have folks who say not having an intimate partner is soul-crushing, and others who'll say life is fine with their friends and/or occasional fling. Some can have a good life without relationships. Others can't.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 03:46 PM
2

"realistic" in the sense it's technically possible. If we're using "realistic" as it being a common and frequent experience...not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:58 AM
2

Those with the ability to consent must be responsible with the potential outcomes with what they consent to.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 02:00 AM
1

There's also the difference between asking about virginity, and sexlessness.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 07:20 PM
1

Don't be foolish. It's all on who is currently present raising the child. A "fairy" isn't teaching a child poor behavior, nor are they the ones responsible for discouraging it. It's the parents present. If a single mother is in this situation, there is nobody else to shoulder that blame with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:59 PM
8

For the parents that's about, yeah. If it's a single mom, then there's only one left to point the blame finger to.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 03:00 AM
3

If morals should override desires, then who's morals get to define what is and isn't acceptable? In practice, whoever has the most power to enforce the rule. Culture stemming from decades to generations usually push certain values that are agreed upon within a particular group, either through region or religion. Part of why homogenous countries are generally unified on what is moral and what isn't. Only those that the clear majority of society agree on, such as don't kill or assault people, whic…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 02:55 AM
3

Degradation of sperm quality has been known about for a long time. There's a reason sperm banks don't take sperm from dudes over 35, and that was long before this study. This isn't new information, and it doesn't mean men are "cooked." If I recall correctly, sperm banks also have a time limit on how long they hold sperm. Those things don't hold forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 05:05 PM
2

Gonna copy-paste another comment of mine: Hypothetical, again pointing to my claim of "mismatch of values". I could easily flip the genders to get the same result. Enough ladies and fellas can testify to such a mismatch in their own experiences. I can throw the asterisk and say "not all women/not all men", but I'm hoping the idea that there is a mismatch in values, my main point, sticks out to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 05:01 PM
4

Hypothetical, again pointing to my claim of "mismatch of values". I could easily flip the genders to get the same result. Enough ladies and fellas can testify to such a mismatch in their own experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 04:58 PM
6

I think that one problem a lot of women have with this dynamic (apart from the defacto exclusion from economic power) is the fact that it doesn’t really have any strong guarantees. In general, life doesn't come packed with guarantees of any kind. Enough stories abound of the people who played it safe, took next to no risks, yet still got burned. We've also seen scenarios of "million to one" risks win out; the half-court/full-court shots in basketball make a great analogy I think. As you also poi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 04:56 PM
2

The issue here is if we're all saying "do what you want when you want", then it would make sense that things will crumple at a moment's inconvenience. After all, when morals run contrary to what you want, what do you expect to still stand? Particularly in a society that prioritizes desires over morals?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 04:45 PM
3

If "free society" is being defined as "free to choose what others do", then no. You're free to choose what you want, and others can't stop you. On the flip side, they're free to do what they want, and you can't stop them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 04:42 PM
11

I'd say still it's a mismatch of values. If women are focusing on flings and such in their earlier years, where men are looking for relationships, and it flips later on, then you're still with people who don't see eye to eye on what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 04:41 PM
–

For sure, the first time you see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 06:53 PM
–

Not gonna lie, it's a riddle I've heard in the past, back in grade school. It's not a bad one though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 06:39 PM
1

The disagreement goes two ways: Personal preference. Some folks like it, or at least say they do. Ultimately, their personal preference speaks to what they like, and shouldn't be applied to all. Social conditioning. This is just something that runs deep over the years.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 06:38 PM
–

e
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 06:25 PM
–

I like my job environment, so no.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 06:24 PM
1

Seems silly imo to go to a beginner class and be heavily judged by other people who are also studying at that level. I've taken beginner gymnastics courses before, where there were people who did cheerleading or gymnastics back in high school and clearly knew all the moves, warmups, and routines. Some people will know more than others, but the point of a beginner course is to start from ground zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 11:24 PM
1

Seems silly imo to go to a beginner class and be heavily judged by other people who are also studying at that level. I've taken beginner gymnastics courses before, where there were people who did cheerleading or gymnastics back in high school and clearly knew all the moves, warmups, and routines. Some people will know more than others, but the point of a beginner course is to start from ground zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 11:24 PM
1

Seems silly imo to go to a beginner class and be heavily judged by other people who are also studying at that level. I've taken beginner gymnastics courses before, where there were people who did cheerleading or gymnastics back in high school and clearly knew all the moves, warmups, and routines. Some people will know more than others, but the point of a beginner course is to start from ground zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 11:24 PM
7

Seems silly imo to go to a beginner class and be heavily judged by other people who are also studying at that level. I've taken beginner gymnastics courses before, where there were people who did cheerleading or gymnastics back in high school and clearly knew all the moves, warmups, and routines. Some people will know more than others, but the point of a beginner course is to start from ground zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 11:23 PM
2

Perhaps there is some benefit to a communist society after all? It has it's fare share of problems but the idea of being trained to do something early on would've helped me so damn much in life I feel. Instead I was free to do nothing and here we are. Unfortunately, without guidance the kids growing up in the world have to figure out how to make the right choice, which may not even be a priority to them compared to the things they like to do. And we expect those same kids to take responsibility …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 04:19 AM
1

Generally responsibility includes doing stuff that you don't actually want to do. Telling everyone to do whatever they want in society comes with the naive assumption that all needed roles will fill themselves out because there's gotta be someone that wants to do that thing. We're starting to see that's not really the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 04:04 AM
–

My fault for not catching it then. A lot of sarcasm here reads as genuine mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 01:33 AM
2

I'd say that's a bad idea in general. You certainly don't want to privatize everything. Hell, even concepts like pensions and social security (in the US) work because the collective pitches in. That's not a gendered thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 04:54 PM
1

Depends on your morals, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 03:39 PM
3

I wouldn't even say "seems", because it is. What major figure is out here preaching for men to get sex just because they work a job? This is one of those cases where they read a few comments online somewhere and somehow that turns into the majority opinion. If that was the case, there's a lot more vile opinions that would be considered mainstream.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 03:35 PM
2

The other one is women being more prominent in the workforce meaning that they are no longer dependant on a provider due to having easy access to financial independence. I'd make a minor edit and say less dependent. Given rising costs, and obviously unemployment affects both genders, it means women are more capable than in the past, but not completely free from requiring aid.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 03:31 PM
5

I mean, at that point abolish taxes entirely and make everyone pay up for all that they use.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 03:26 PM
1

The issue with "average" is that most of the time we relate ourselves to what we notice around us. Take income for example, since I saw someone mention it elsewhere: Average income in the US is $40k from the quick search I did. Some places the cost of living is so high you need significantly more to live there. So the "average" is insufficient in all cases. Socially, not everybody has the same friend groups or notice the same scenarios. The "average guy" in some friend groups is hooking up with …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 04:30 PM
0

I'll take your word for it, but I truly have my doubts on this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 07:18 PM
13

This is basically it. When women say "good/bad personality", men hear "moral/immoral", but women usually mean something more like "fun and charming/boring or unpleasant." From conversations I've seen here, I've seen the opposite. When they speak on "personality", it's not about whether someone is charming or not, but if they're morally righteous. But that always seems to be the disconnect I see in conversations here.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 04:38 AM
2

I could see someone stuck with an abusive partner for a long period of time, potentially never leaving until someone ends up dead. I could also see, just based on probability, someone having the bad luck to go into a relationship with another abusive partner after the first one. What I can't see is the cycle happening a third time onwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 04:33 AM
1

Lots of men on this sub only care about the dynamics surrounding the initial attraction, since they hold sex in high regard and care for little else. Personally, I just think it's hard to think about a long term relationship, or simply a relationship at all if sex wasn't included. Not to say other aspects of a relationship aren't important, just that a proper relationship for a couple that didn't include sex at all...sounds strange.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 04:17 AM
4

I'd say there's also a shortage of both good men and women who'll speak out about bad behavior. There will always be sycophants to someone who is hot/rich/popular enough to acquire them. The rest of the people need to point out how bad behavior, both of the women doing it and the men simping for the women with bad behavior, is wrong and must be stopped.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 09:08 PM
3

So...prostitution. Just of another kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 06:36 PM
1

I'm not going to ask people for personal information to validate stories they tell on the internet. You're free to believe he's a liar, but if you're going to say their tale is false you need some basis of evidence to declare that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 01:48 PM
1

And what proof do you have of this? Do you know these 12 executives by name? Who they're dating? Who is in their social network? I get sometimes we want to deny a person's story, but unless you got solid proof it's hard to outright deny them. Well, you can, but you'd be foolish to readily dismiss it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 05:49 PM
2

Eh. Plausible to know someone making big money like that if you're talking finance in NYC. That's executive level right there.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 01:11 AM
1

True. Even if you dislike your current job, the same system exists in any other job chosen.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 12:22 AM
–

No, because men and women are different. Women are more in demand sexually by men than men are by women. Women can be happier going without sex if their high standards in men are not met. You're going around my previous point. This isn't about the individual, it's about the company they keep. It's also not about "being happy alone". It's about whether the same-sex people they hang around with diminish their chances. Which is why I asked if a man's male friends can cockblock (or negatively affect…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 05:10 PM
1

I’m not sure that I completely follow the argument as presented and I’m not about to watch this entire podcast, but I was thinking that the idea would be either that men who associate themselves with unsuccessful men are making themselves more unattractive to women by doing so, or perhaps that the bad attitude of these men will rub off on the men who already have the ability to be successful. To be fair, I'm only using what was said in OP and our conversation here, so we're on the same base of i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 03:15 PM
1

There is arguably a need for men to distance themselves from struggling men if it will improve their own chances with women, though. Are these struggling men suddenly becoming cockblocks to other men? I don't understand this mentality. There is no need for women to disassociate themselves from women who choose to go their own way from men, though. Are we assuming that women couldn't sabotage other women's dating efforts? There seems to be a double standard here, and the logic doesn't really hold…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 02:59 PM
–

I'd say a mix of media and commentary on forums like these where people would say something along the lines of "looks don't matter". Enough times I've seen comments and arguments of how the ugliest guy ever is getting women left and right. Unless the expectation is to think everybody else is lying, it's no surprise that some comments will be taken to heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 02:36 PM
–

Such advice is usually given to young men as well, so it's likely going to target the naive and inexperienced. I don't see relationship advice like this aimed at older men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 02:22 PM
1

From the OP, Iliza supposedly stated that men should distance themselves from other men who are struggling and don't have a partner. This is a generalized statement, with no exceptions given. Following that logic, then women should do the same to other women who dissociate themselves from men, and thus relationships. I'm not against your statement that women are generally more in demand than men, but simply that if women disavow relationships, it can also be seen as "natural selection" and women…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:37 PM
1

There's a reason we have a difference between terms like "natural selection" and "artificial selection". The distinction is the difference, and I think it's fair to point out that appropriate verbiage should be used. Might be too late for me to criticize the comedian live, who cares more about making a joke than discussing the topic in depth, but at least here we can be more accurate with our analysis. The "desirable" folks are forced through a cultural system in society that pushes mates. That …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 04:07 AM
1

How so? It's fair to say expectations have raised, and culture shifted since the past. The conditions that exist today that created said dating struggle didn't exist back then. The avenues that people had to meet others were limited, and thus expectations of potential partners were different. Remember, it's not to say the person struggling now would suddenly flip who they are at a different point in history. It's to say the conditions back then wouldn't allow the person struggling today to exist…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 03:59 AM
3

Then women would also have to distance themselves from misandrists.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 09:07 PM
7

People I assume have a mindset that comedians are now the beacons of wisdom.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 09:05 PM
5

I'd argue it's not "natural". To state natural selection would be conditions set by nature, where the most physically "fit" were not just the ones able to reproduce, but outright survive. This is artificial selection, made by social conditions set by a group of people. The "unfit" aren't killed off or exiled, they're just shunned. Although this can also be stated to anyone who struggles with dating, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 09:04 PM
–

Given what I see of police bodycam videos, they also say female when identifying women. Just to say it's not placed simply on race.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 12:05 AM
–

Sounds like bait. But also, are we going to stretch that logic to everyone and everything? Are women with dating failures also in the wrong for not putting in 100%? What about people who can't afford a house? It's because you're lazy. Get another job and cut down on the avocado toast.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 06:28 PM
2

The ideal I would think for a relationship is that it is of a mutual long-lasting benefit. As you've said, it's not the "use" that's the issue, and more the perception of "abuse", an overly one-sided benefit with no trade off.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 04:11 PM
1

You weren't the person I had in mind with my comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 11:40 AM
–

...relative to what, exactly? To the other half? This implies the women were "better" than their partners, such that having sex with a man downgrades them. If you're talking just sex as a whole, then neither look better. No person with a Sydney Sweeney (or pornstar in general) amount of body count looks "better" for it, especially not due to whatever assumption there is about their partners. As for perception of who looks worse, to my knowledge female porn stars have more media recognition than …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 07:24 PM
–

I don't think so. If it was viewed so negatively for women to have sex with men, then any man, including the "good ones" would be seen as bad to be with. The flip side would exist for men to women, which would make even "undesirable" women still a viable partner for any man, which from commentary here alone proves that's not the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 07:10 PM
–

Might be my lack of imagination, I can't think of any context where a woman sexually active with a whole bunch of different men is seen positively, regardless of who those men were. Again, I'm talking about the perception of these people having high body counts, not whether I think it's okay for one gender to have it over the other, as I've already said it's a bad look on both ends.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 07:07 PM
–

The argument you should be having is not whether or not it's okay, but whether or not those undertaking the actions are okay with the value judgments of others. Wouldn't this only be tested against negative judgements? It's one thing to enjoy positive encouragement for actions taken, but a different mindset to tolerate neutral to negative judgements.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 06:40 PM
–

This is one of those gender differences that can somewhat be seen in media. It's notable if a (straight) guy is seen with many sexual partners, and is seen less positively if a (straight) woman is seen with many sexual partners. Ultimately I also agree it's bad for both in equal amounts, but the common perception of it differs between the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 06:37 PM
3

Hell, I don't think it's equipped to handle cases of social isolation effectively.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 01:19 PM
4

I've seen at least one person in this sub I can recall switching their flair. Personally I haven't.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 01:17 PM
1

You are, but you can deny it. Translating a phrase like "be yourself" to hold some definition beyond those two words is to imply a hidden intent. And again, it's enforcing an apex fallacy: "Only the good and righteous truly get what was meant." Because if they don't, they're autistic. Probably autistic, to be more accurate to your words.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 03:25 AM
1

Huh? I simply meant that I think when people say “be yourself” most people who orient toward good outcomes interpret it as “be my best self and be generally likable without losing myself.” Again, you're implying hidden intent in words from people you don't know being said to people you also don't know outside of bits of internet conversation you get in comments here. It's a roundabout way of enforcing an apex fallacy: "Only the good and righteous truly get what was meant."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 11:47 PM
1

I think most advice makes sense. I think the people who struggle to read between the lines that most find obvious are people who are probably neurodivergent, specifically autistic, in some way. Maybe it's me, but I'd think that those who give advice aren't doing so with the intention that what they really meant to say was hidden within their words, as if there was a tiny asterisk right afterwards that needed to be seen to understand the true intent.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 06:26 PM
4

I think the unfortunate part of the "self-improvement" saga that I've seen here is that it went between "just lift bro" to a checklist of items, then finally nuance, and back to the start as others joined in the conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 06:18 PM
3

In terms of willpower, but not in material investment. You can get shredded with a calisthenics-based workout plan and a good diet that doesn't require you to spend a ridiculous amount on groceries. The knowledge for the majority of what you need is on youtube and thus free.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 06:14 PM
1

It's not being Chad, it's being respected and considered attractive by your partner. I would presume your partner wouldn't be paying you millions of dollars to show your ta-tas, despite desiring to be with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 05:34 PM
2

Even if you are living well above your means, sometimes you just don't have the free time still. Dunno how any one person should adjust themselves for such an environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 06:24 PM
2

Still, people have pointed out that there's a difference between wanting to work a job and having some choice over your hours and occupation versus having to work a job that you hate. The nuance here is wanting to work when it's not needed. Lots of folks, myself included, would prefer the choice of what work I do and my schedule compared to having a job that I dislike that doesn't give me said choice. However, the common man has to worry about their regular expenses that their job pays for, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 05:49 PM
3

Having a respectable career field has always been important to women, but it doesn't mean you are shit out of luck without it. Sometimes the guarantee of financially stability is enough whether its due to being a nepo baby, inheriting old money, or in my case getting lucky and investing in property when the housing market exploded and now owns more money than I can burn. Sounds like you don't fit in that group that stay-mad mentioned above: the part-time pizza delivery guy to the career woman. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 05:23 PM
2

Not knowing either person, one is actually smiling at the camera, which would make them more pleasant-appearing already. If I'm told to pick A or B and I can't be funny and choose neither or both, I'll go with B.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 05:07 PM
1

To add to the nuance, depends on the work schedules. It's an ideal if both parents are working same shifts, but if not, one parent will do more work at a particular time than another.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 04:39 PM
4

I also think it's relatively unfair to mark that as a sign of bad parenting, particularly if one parent has the work schedule that allows them to go to the school more frequently than the other. Or having a child open up about their friends and all their teachers.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 04:34 PM
–

You two are both right in that regard: Men can tell women they're hot, either paying her a genuine compliment or to the end of trying to have sex with that woman. However, despite the ego inflation, it shouldn't be confused with men wanting to do anything with that woman outside of sex. Some women get that confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 05:52 PM
3

Then we're at an impasse. We see what the guests say as the issue here, and you say it's the behavior of the hosts that's the issue. Although, after a certain point of the show's existence you'd expect guests to know what they're walking into, rudeness or no.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 07:57 PM
1

Good point. Miami is still a tourist destination, and many go there for spring break or summer vacation.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:19 PM
6

Doesn't answer his question: Do you have an example of what the "articulate educated women" could say that is different from what the of models have said?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:17 PM
4

Even then, the person that's a whistleblower or in witness protection is credible with what they say (likely has receipts), and has justified concerns of someone attacking them for speaking out. The overwhelming folks online and in social media don't have that concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 06:09 PM
1

Are we trying to equate nudity for modeling/film to pornography?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 06:35 PM
7

That "good" men don't think that social media distorts expectations from a potential partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 08:59 PM
3

If you disagree if what was said, you'd say so. Especially in a penalty-free environment that is the internet, where there's no risk to state disagreement. When people vocalize their agreement with comments through replies or upvotes, it validates for others. Be part of the group. Personal experience here, but I don't see women in these discussions actively disagreeing with each other on their statements (at least in any degree close to where men will disagree with each other). If we were to bel…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 08:08 PM
7

Difference here is that you notice there's men who disagree with the original statement. So your entire "whatabout" scenario is already faulty. But hey, whatever you wanna say to trash on men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 08:03 PM
3

I believe a woman is attempting to do so, and the majority of time when that's been done, there's silence from other women, which implies agreement.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 07:50 PM
11

How many times have individuals here spoke generally for their respective and the opposite gender? Women do speak for other women. You'd be silly to think that doesn't happen. It's not like other women are stopping every instance of general speaking to say "you don't speak for me".
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:36 PM
7

Individual women having different preferences doesn’t control your behaviour. The issue here is two-fold: This isn't stated as individual preference, like a "I personally would prefer to get to know someone first" or "I personally wouldn't mind being approached by a stranger". It's stated as objective. Hence, why OP made this post in the first place. If a person cares to be decent, they would care about what another person says, especially if that person is within the pool of potential candidate…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:29 PM
–

Sure. It's just to counter what was originally said by attendquoi. If dudes are getting friendzoned, it shows they're good enough to be friends, but not enough to build into a relationship. So either the social skills don't match what's needed to build into a relationship, or these friendzoned guys are insufficient in some other way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:23 PM
–

Women can get friendzoned as well. I think it's just fair to say the social skills utilized for a friendship don't fully match what's used for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 06:16 PM
1

"More traumatizing" does not and should not negate the trauma of the other event. At this point it's just a competition of who/what is worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 03:16 PM
–

Really interesting conversations...about what? Some topics just won't interest you as a person. It's not your scene, it's not your vibe.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 03:32 PM
–

Eh. I think also it depends on the level of interest in anime in general. I know some ladies who say they like "anime", but only have a passing interest in a few characters and Hello Kitty. That's like saying I have an interest in economics because I glanced through the business section of a newspaper a few times in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 03:30 PM
–

Not just that, but "boring" is also dependent on time and place. Expecting excitement every single day with not a moment's pause is unreasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 03:25 PM
4

It's like saying a physically weak man that doesn't exercise is "crippled-adjacent". The man isn't injured or suffer a disability. Just a result of their own upbringing and actions. I agree with the latter statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 03:14 PM
8

In that framing, it is strange to be mad at these "fuckbois". If you want to have sex, and he wants to have sex, it's casual. The worst thing happening is not being aligned in desire for a relationship beyond fucking, but that's no crime. It's the same tier as saying "she's not that into you." In personal experience, women lead men on with promise of something more, but they don't put out (either in presence or sex). So just having sex is an upgrade.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 09:53 PM
7

Men wouldn't have relationships if they could get sex consistently without them. At the very least, the desire for one would be less.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 09:49 PM
3

Given OP's title pointing to "complaining their way to sex", I think there's a misunderstanding. Even if there is an issue to be solved, the solution isn't always "get sex", which seems to be the focus of OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 04:37 PM
10

I think there's a difference between saying this is exactly what they want, compared to what they'll accept if the opportunity arose. Given some of the comments here, unless the guy is explicitly looking for a relationship, being with a "fuckgirl" is an acceptable alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 04:29 PM
7

For me, I'd say sex within a relationship is the ideal. But if the relationship isn't available, then sex is acceptable on its own.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 04:23 PM
0

There's also that bar of what a "good man" is. You'll have some chuckleheads going "A good man isn't abusive, duh", but that makes an assumption that the majority of men out there are abusive (with no stats to prove it).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 02:48 PM
4

I do believe some people expect an "ideal" to happen that us simply unrealistic, or cannot be maintained for a long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:26 AM
5

Maybe it’s just me but I’m firmly in the “romantic love exists and is achievable for most” camp. That’s what I’ve experienced and seen so. Whether it’s maintainable I guess is a more nuanced question. Hard to agree with that statement sometimes, given the visage of the dating scene at times. As for maintainable, I think it's on the same odds as romantic love; possible with some luck and a lot of effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 04:24 AM
3

I can understand that that would be frustrating for someone who is sincerely trying, but it's also important to acknowledge that therapy doesn't work well if you don't actually want to get better. That's a hell of an assumption on your part, which leads to that "you didn't try hard enough in therapy" narrative. Like the other guy said, it's a bit of a stretch to hold that take if someone has been going to therapy for a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 05:53 PM
2

Yeah, I can't think it remains at peak difficulty once the kids are going to school, and taught enough responsibility to manage their own messes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 02:16 PM
1

Can't really read your comment on the thread, so I'm wondering if mods are messing around. But if you can read this, let's look at the positions you have labeled under emotional intelligence: A number of these positions today aren't as highly valued as the other group; at least under Reddit, which usually goes between apathy and hostility towards religion, religious leaders and therapists are less valued compared to comedians, coaches, and military commanders. Not to say therapists or religious …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 06:10 PM
2

How valued is that in society, in your opinion?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 08:59 PM
2

It still makes the idea of intelligence broad, and not strictly defined. Are only dumb people insecure?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 08:37 PM
1

not sure why you struggled to decouple opinion from fact. It's not whether it is opinion or fact, but whether you consider it opinion or fact, which you declared is the former. Enough folks here speak with no statistics or study as if their opinion is fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 08:04 PM
1

Sounds like you're a creative one. What doors are we talking about here?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 07:45 PM
2

Hard to tell at times the personal opinion from the declaration of fact. Either way, that's weighing some facets of intelligence heavier than others. All that to say, "I disagree".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 07:44 PM
1

Speaking of D&D, sounds like how anybody would try to tackle a scenario would do: Use their strengths as much as possible to handle a situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 05:52 PM
2

Makes the question of how visible is emotional intelligence. If someone is a great athlete, that would make them a "kinetic" genius. Very visible. Intelligence in arts and creativity is visible through their works. Intelligence in logic and calculation is visible through their profession and works. What would someone with genius-level emotional intelligence look like? What professions would they excel in?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 05:50 PM
1

Some forms of intelligence is more valued in society over others. Emotional intelligence rarely shows itself in a way that is valued socially.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 05:47 PM
2

Smart people are self-aware. Not necessarily. That's making an assumption that "smarts" and ego are combined, when there's enough cases of that being separate.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 05:46 PM
3

I thought this was more common knowledge. A "genius" in one aspect may not be so in all areas.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 02:37 PM
2

Just how culture is. It's seen as more difficult for men to have lots of sex partners, and less dignified for women to have lots of sex partners. So a "fuckboy" is looked at differently from a "slut" just on basis of bodycount alone under the general eyes of society, even if you personally don't view it that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:31 PM
4

Why can't we work together to deal with reality in the most fair way possible for both genders? People are selfish. There's pretty words now that can justify their selfishness, and also present them as righteous.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:21 PM
1

The fact that so many think it is the misogyny that is attractive is telling. From what I'm aware of the conversation between here and what I've gathered elsewhere, it's the "masculinity" that's paired with it. Same reason why people ask "why can't masculine men also be feminist?". The only answer that seems to come to mind is "They can, but a notable number of them are not." Personally, I think a man deemed very attractive or masculine could pull off whatever and have similar results.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:17 PM
2

Believe me as someone with a hypermasculine Father AND Mother I am fully prepared to admit that masculinity is very likely a genetic trait and not a social one Eh. I'd say it's a mix; traits considered masculine are both of the physical and social kind. Behaviors are social. Height and things of that nature are genetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:09 PM
1

I think we're looking at the wrong thing: Problem is that introverts regard all loud and outgoing people as bad, and the most inexperienced introverts believe that emulating the worst traits is how to succeed. It's not that all those people are bad, it's simply that those who they see that are bad and successful mostly have those traits. If there are "good traits" that these bad people don't have that'll aid them in being successful, it needs to be pointed out.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 07:11 PM
2

That may be true, but it doesn't deny that DumbWordsmith said. Particularly so when you have users who claim they are "helping", but do the same (if not worse) than the trolls here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 07:03 PM
2

It is also quite ridiculous to be expected to police all who happen to identify the same way you do, or abandon that identifier altogether. Whether that identifier is based on race, sexuality, gender, hobby, location, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 06:14 PM
1

It just feels surreal. It's like a guy learning how to tie his shoes and thinking this knowledge elevates him above regular people when from the outside looking in he seems to have simply gotten a bit more like a regular person. Eh. I just think advice on dating and relationships isn't as uniform as we'd all like it to be, and thus one man's "eye opening moment" is another's "everybody and their dog knew this". Given some conversations here, it also seems like some folks grew up being told contr…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 05:55 PM
–

The unfortunate bit is that some activities are better for meeting people/hooking up than others, but lies contrary to who you are. One of those balancing acts to determine whether it's worth one's time or not. Thankfully you figured this out.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 05:33 PM
2

All I can say is that many folks live their experience, whether that experience is called redpill or otherwise. It's hard to genuinely deny one's personal experiences, since nobody here has proof to reject it but would make you look bad to go that route. I suppose it can be silly when taken to extremes, but that's the nature of this sub and the internet, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 05:28 PM
0

What don't you believe? That claims have been made of "I personally know absolutely ugly men who are slaying it with women, and thus it's evidence that looks don't matter", or that when I said moral failures you jumped right to social-conservative regressive views? Do you say this as the only form of moral failure? All this to say that words are not taken in a vacuum. It's always held to context, historical or situational.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 05:19 PM
2

What context here is unique enough to state this post can be taken solely on its own? I'm not talking to OP, I'm talking to you. If I were to address OP, I wouldn't be speaking of other discussions. If your message is: "success in dating is not indicative of your moral character, despite what others say", then what is unique about that compared to conversations in the past?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 05:13 PM
1

I don't catalogue every conversation for potential future use. Take my words as an anecdote, if nothing else. Whether you believe I'm lying or not is up to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 05:10 PM
3

That feels like someone's grandma trying to cheer them up. Possibly, but none in this sub have admitted to being a grandmother, so I can't make that claim. Moral character is simply one piece of the comparability puzzle; you'll probably do fine without if you date people with similar moral character. If lack of compatibility is the issue, then the source is mutual; the person themself, and the person they're currently trying to get with. That isn't to say it's a genuine issue that must be resolv…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 05:08 PM
1

I'm speaking of similar conversations in this sub, as this is not a unique topic of discussion. As for what he said: I was listening to the redditonwiki podcast, which I enjoy, but I was immediately pissed off when they insinuated the idea that if you can’t get a girlfriend, “it says more about you,” as well as other segments that mock virgins as woman-hating basement dwellers. And it’s not just this podcast. I see this attitude all over the place, online and IRL. I won’t go on the whole “nice g…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 05:03 PM
9

I've dealt with enough arguments on this sub that argue the latter point. The former isn't specified to "social-conservatives' regressive views", but it certainly fits the box of the narrative of some here when they speak.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:58 PM
2

“It says more about you” to a binary thinker is “oh that means I must be bad”. When it really means “take a hard look at yourself and see what you can do to be dateble” From conversations here, the quote rarely intends to speak on anything other than one's character, or whether they are "good" or not. I don't see folks here saying "it's more about you" and do any followup in regards on how to improve that doesn't involve "don't give the ick" and "read feminist literature". Self improvement is ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:23 PM
16

From my understanding, it's the "blue pill", or folks who claim to adhere to it, that states one's success in dating is not based on looks or status, but on one's moral character. This is why that group of people also claim that one's failures in the dating market speaks more towards their character than it does looks any other factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 04:15 PM
–

I'm not sure one is "better" than the other, at least on any objective scale. I do think one is more effective for some people, compared to others. In addition, I do think there's some spontaneity involved even with planned dates, so one can have a mixture of the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:08 PM
0

Maybe some of us actually give a damn. Maybe, but I doubt. Call me a pessimist.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 03:10 PM
0

Sounds like you don't, which is fine. Whatever works for one may not work for another. I already made my initial point and you didn't argue against it, so I'm done here.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:54 PM
2

Isn't that the point of the overall conversation on this post? Unfortunately, while morals are what determine if a person is good or not, it doesn't play heavily into a person's attractiveness, and it especially pales compared to a person's physical features. Success only entices people to continue to succeed, and those lacking moral character won't suddenly develop morals to continue their success. I do think people who fail constantly can become bitter about it, but unless they see their moral…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:52 PM
1

Didn't say they were relying on TRP. Just said they were looking for a partner. Given some flairs use have on this sub also mention red pill men that are married, sounds like TRP has some benefit. Exactly how much is up for debate I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:47 PM
2

For some, I'm sure that's the case. However, I believe there are others who are simply looking for a partner. I'm sure you've seen enough media to recognize "the one" in context of relationships. Either which way, not accomplishing one's "win" condition would be seen as a "loss". This applies to beyond ppd stuff as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:38 PM
15

Yeah, not sure why that doesn't make sense. If one constantly has their pick of options because of their looks, not because of their personality, anything they do, bad or good, is positive reinforcement. An abusive jerk getting women will see his ways being good if he continues to get women. Means OP is relying on their bias of a just world to believe attractive men continue to remain attractive due to their morality.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:28 PM
4

Eh. "Win" conditions always vary for folks. Doesn't mean the game ends once that condition has been met. Same idea with "lose" conditions.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:23 PM
1

Eh, just sounds like for a society that preaches to "be better", they're fine with offering shit solutions to others. And then there's surprise when mental health crises come up.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 03:09 PM
3

You mean sedation. May as well legalize heroin at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 02:55 PM
2

I guess there's that as well. What a fine mess this place is, sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 08:54 PM
1

Unfortunately. I do think some percentage of folks come here to make sense of dating these days. I guess the shenanigans makes cheap thrills for a few here.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 08:22 PM
2

Well that's funny. Even when being clearly labeled as not redpill, you get that accusation thrown at you. Seems like people make up whatever they want of someone sometimes, just to have a target to punch at.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 06:53 PM
1

I suppose that's the point here, no? It's reasonable to expect within a committed relationship that some behaviors will change, compared to being single.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 06:15 PM
1

While I don't disagree with your experience, you gotta understand that unfortunately you have men that have experienced this. It's one of the primary topics that end up here regularly: Just because your experiences go one way, doesn't mean the opposite doesn't exist. I'm not here to understand the mindset of folks here, because that's a academic endeavor that will puzzle the finest psychologists. All I can say is that unless everyone you meet irl is 100% forthcoming with their inner thoughts wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 06:05 PM
3

If a woman thinks that men aren't or can't be valued in society or are "useless", then her opinions don't mean much to me, and I see on reason to interact or converse with her in any way. If she would automatically view me as having no worth as a human simply because I'm a man, then there's no point in even giving her any thought. However, when women say things like "Women don't need men" that's different. It means that they are on longer DEPENDENT on men to live a fulfilled and happy life, the …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 06:31 PM
1

Even the majority of stats given in marketing, it's never 100%. It may make some rate that's close like 99.9%, or 98.5%, but never 100%.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 06:22 PM
4

Eh. Even to compare to times past, it's not like being a single parent was an expected standard (I will concede income from a single parent, but not the entirety of parenting falling under one person). Only the people with lots of money (then, and now) has the resources to be a single parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 06:20 PM
1

If the topic turns to sex and/or relationships, sure. But that's not usually the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 05:49 PM
8

I think there's a confusion sometimes between being someone in a position of authority, and having a persona that's simply grating to others. Someone can be both, but one of those aspects is an objective problem, the other is preferential.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 03:10 PM
1

To me, it's like announcing your primary/only value is your income. On the flipside, it's like a woman announcing her primary/only value is her body measurements. I suppose some folks are fine with that, but many aren't.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 02:41 PM
3

Birth rate issue is something I think that'll become more of an issue over the coming decades if it doesn't rise back up to replacement rate (IIRC, that's 2.1). We benefit from scale of economy far more than many would give credit for. Without that, we have less space for specialized roles. It'll be a slow decline.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 05:50 PM
1

Forget infrastructure, the human species would outright die out.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 04:25 PM
2

Lack of depth is expected.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 06:18 PM
3

The question then is, how does "male loneliness epidemic" benefit them? There is no wide-scale effort to address this for men, so this is simply stating an issue with no solution attached.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 03:11 PM
1

Which to me seems that the issue is simply misattributing flaws of the "nice guys" and incels. More likely than not those folks aren't waiting on the sidelines to be abusive to women, or engaging in such behavior. If we were to tell them instead to work on their social skills to be less awkward and such, it would be far more effective than claiming them as potential criminals. As for being clingy, that's something that could be addressed after they get the girl. Still, that's something that can …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:27 PM
5

I can agree with this, but to me the scenario isn't that the "nice guys" are awkward shy dorks. They're told they're secret predators masking their true intentions underneath their "niceness", which is more condemning than being told they're awkward shy dorks, and far more infuriating as they're basically being called criminals in hiding. At least telling them they're awkward and shy is something they can work on improving, not sure about being a dork.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:05 PM
1

Eh. The "nice men" accusation is less about being unattractive, and more about being a creep/predator masking under "nice" behavior. There'd be less issue with "nice guys" if ultimately they were simply unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 03:22 PM
3

Depends on the confidence, imo. One can display confidence joking around with friends, and be less so with others. Confidence can be "practiced", in the same way a salesman familiar with a pitch and its variants can be confident.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 03:18 PM
1

Anyone can be convinced. Now what I mean by this is that if you find someone you want to smash or date (I know it's a combination on here), if you are at a bar or something and you just strike up a conversation with someone, it'll come. Once you stop going out just to find a sexual partner, the next one will come I promise. Another way to say it I think is "attraction builds over time", which is something I've seen mentioned by another person's anecdote on reddit. This requires some degree of mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 06:04 PM
1

Me neither. Even when talking "standards", I can't recall anybody (men or women) stating the "moral" choice is to have no standards and to be indiscriminate.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 11:07 AM
-1

What do they call that, survivorship bias? Always silly to me when people write this stuff, true or not, with the obliviousness that such tales are more the exception than the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 11:04 AM
10

I understand your viewpoint. However, I think folks need to be able to step back sometimes and not internalize or rush to judgement all that is said or seen online.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 02:30 PM
3

At least this sub. You get more positive stuff looking at the sub where people staple bread to trees.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 05:40 PM
2

As I've been told growing up, you are always responsible for your actions. You can feel bad, or sick, or whatever, but that doesn't excuse bad behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 05:39 PM
11

Certainly doesn't sound like "tolerance".
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 05:33 PM
0

Sounds like you're better off talking to the LGBT crowd about that. I presume the vast majority of this sub are straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 05:32 PM
1

Is confusion an emotional reaction?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 07:29 PM
1

I suppose, although from my experience it's not something I've noticed others do , and certainly not something I do or have been the recipient of in recent memory.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 07:28 PM
1

Sure, but I stand by my statement that there's more folks that'll act hostile online in ways they wouldn't IRL, especially compared to the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 07:13 PM
2

Welcome to 2025, everyone talks shit, and then they hate it when they are confronted with their own words, decisions, actions, behaviors. Also, it's the damn internet. Lots of folks get bold when not having to be confronted with someone else directly.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 05:51 PM
1

She did have a choice: If she kissed Lord Farquaad, she would've remained human and lived like a princess. She didn't, because she came to like Shrek, and thus remained an ogre. Shrek was a popular kids movie long ago. It's a bit silly to proclaim men didn't watch the film.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:45 PM
–

Try to approach women IRL as a male will always be more successful. More variables come into play IRL that aren't seen over an app, so sure. For example a huge debate on this subreddit and on the internet has always been does the size of a penis matter? Most men will say yes and will take any women saying yes as validation that it’s how all women think instead of just the minority. Eh. I think it's due to women using penis size as an insult or compliment that makes men respond to it. I've scroun…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:43 PM
1

I disagree. Plotwise, the character wasn't humbled. And she certainly wouldn't have been made to appeal to ugly men staying an ogre. Appealing to ugly men would've been keeping her human form and staying with Shrek.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:32 PM
3

The more dangerous thing, is that given how much of people's lives get pushed onto social media, the internet may be more accurate to the lives of younger generations than the older folks may care to admit. This makes the "touch grass" quips nullified as the digital grass through people's screens matches the grass people see outside.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:44 PM
3

Fiona wasn't ugly before the curse. The curse made her ugly. When the curse broke, she took the form of who found her attractive (and she actually liked), which happened to be Shrek. It's a flip of Beauty and the Beast in a way, and Shrek certainly didn't set a blueprint for Disney to follow (after all, the attractive "hero" guy in Gaston was rejected for Beast).
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:36 PM
–

Hasn't there been multiple cases of gender flipping the scenario in other subs and having those responses recorded? Even when people noticed, behavior didn't change significantly to push "equality" amongst the sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:19 PM
2

Yeah, best not to do so. Some stuff will have you scratching your head with the craziness that's said.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 12:07 AM
2

I think the first issue is not getting to the end point in the first place. If you want to get in shape just to say you're in shape, you're fine as long as you can meet that image of "in shape". If you want to get in shape to ultimately attract a woman, you can consider the value once you have a partner. If you don't even get there, you're bound to question your path.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 12:00 AM
0

It's very important to try to sus out if someone is telling you the truth if they are trying to get something out of you, it is of zero importance if they are simply making a statement about their own personal happiness. If that was the case, there'd be a lot less pushback within discussions here simply because there was no skin in the game either way. Ultimately, we're all anonymous users of an online forum. What is OP attempting to get from anyone here? What am I trying to get from you persona…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:20 PM
2

Could be. But if it doesn't matter to you, why defend it either way? After all, someone's happiness doesn't affect you, and someone's else's reaction doesn't affect you. Unless...it does somehow?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:11 PM
5

Eh. I think the conditions on a relationship just cannot wholly be better than single, simply due to the fact you're with someone. It's like between living alone and with someone; there's elements of living alone that cannot be replicated once you live with someone. All that to say I hope there isn't any expectation that being in a relationship should be exactly like being alone, but better.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:32 PM
1

If this person is telling the truth it doesn't affect anyone else, if they are lying it also doesn't affect anyone else. If someone tells you something, you either believe them or you don't. What they tell you may influence your beliefs or adjust your judgement. Even to discard what's said requires the effort to listen in the first place. The effect of what's told is based on whether you listen to them or not. If you don't listen to them, it doesn't affect you at all, because it never registered…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:26 PM
0

I would say being truthful matters. If the truth doesn't matter, then lies don't either. And if you don't care about the truth or a lie because you'll end up believing what you want to believe, why should what you believe matter?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:10 PM
4

Some folks tie their identity to things and groups in ways that's surprising sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:08 PM
4

I think there's good material here to supplement psychology classes in regards to the human ego.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:15 PM
3

Eh. Hard to say one way or another. As OP said, anybody can declare whatever they want online, truthfully or not. The issue is less on whether one is happy in their current situation, and more if they're telling the truth about it online.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:10 PM
1

I recall there once being an ad somewhere at a bus stop at how one man's "assertive" behavior can be one woman's "bitchy" behavior. I think what gets lost is that there's a difference in tone and "vibes" that makes the judgement different.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 05:07 PM
1

Personally, I think what's more important is getting more men into the field, over who respects what. For that, I think different incentives are needed. Leaning on a financial bias just puts you in a bad situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 04:33 PM
1

I don't go around insulting people so I don't see how it's hypocritical for me to say that's a shitty thing to do. If you are chastising one side for insults, and not doing so to another, it's safe to say something is wrong with that behavior. Figuratively shrugging your shoulders when a particular side flings insults and saying "well both sides do it" harms your integrity.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 04:30 PM
4

Eh. I think truth, no matter how bitter, is still better.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 08:37 PM
1

...I'm sorry, which points in particular are you stating most women here disagree with? Just seems like you replied to the wrong comment here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 08:34 PM
2

If your whole point is "insults are shitty and unhelpful", sure. If you are only saying this to guys, that is hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 06:53 PM
1

I respect representation. I just disagree that OP's solution is the ideal for getting more men into the field.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 04:41 PM
2

Question: Men in the teaching field, to my limited knowledge, are under the same curriculum to teach lessons as women. So what exactly makes men better teachers? Wouldn't improving teacher salaries overall, along with the work environment, be a better boon to teaching than just paying one group of teachers more?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:47 PM
1

Could say the same for any woman who uses terms like incel, says a guy gave them the ick, or ghosts. If that stuff is okay, then this might as well be too. Yeah, I agree. If it's fine for one group to use demeaning language and insult, then it's fine for the other. Either insults are fine or they're not. Allowances for one group is hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:37 PM
2

Forgive me for sidelining your question, but I think this is important for me to say so at least you understand me here. As others have pointed out here, this is a man who is an exception, not the norm. It's quite likely his ugliness affected him socially in his youth. However, this is also a man who is a celebrity and is paid better than the average Ugandan. Culture aside, celebrity and money is still celebrity and money. Being an exception likely afforded him opportunities he would not have ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 11:34 PM
3

Then that's a failure on my part for speaking on your behalf, and I apologize for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 11:08 PM
3

No. A cultural lens is how we see the world. Culture shock is a thing. Even simple experiences on which side you walk down the sidewalk can be quite different in other countries. For me to think otherwise (if you were to attempt to convince me), I'd need to see these same cultural issues that affect those here apply the same way in Uganda. Maybe it's me and my arrogance, but I don't think that even if there is some equivalent of the "manosphere" in Uganda, they speak on the exact same topics.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 11:08 PM
3

May be a reach, but it seems for each of those broke and ugly men who don't succeed and die alone would be considered failures in OP's eyes for not "making it work".
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 10:40 PM
4

Now, I won't say that I'm knowledgeable at all of culture in Uganda, but unless you can tell me with certainty their culture matches anything in Western countries, I'm going to say whatever commonalities you are looking at are still going to be altered by the cultural lens. Religion, dating, families, those things are not seen the same between the US/UK and Uganda.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 10:38 PM
11

I don't think embracing the decline means one enjoys the decline happening, either to themselves or to the world. I think again it may be an underreported issue because not everyone who considers it a problem will state online that it's a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 02:36 PM
1

Given the Weinstein photo in the archive link, it definitely shows its age. Makes me wonder: Did OP look through years of articles just to find this one?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 09:14 PM
4

I do agree it's a bit silly: If that line of logic can be used to defend one side, then there's no reason it cannot apply to the other side as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 09:11 PM
1

Once again I asked who taught you that this valve and validation comes from other people’s opinions You are expecting me to tell you something else which is not the truth, which basically means you want me to lie to push whatever narrative you desire. You're not being honest in this discussion. So let me ask you. Who taught you your values? Sounds like you learned the opposite, so whose knee did you sit upon and get told that your value comes strictly from within and nowhere else? Why do you bel…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 07:31 PM
1

At no point in any of that did you actually answer who why that validation needs to come from the opinions of others. The question is who or what makes value valid? Humans are social creatures in general, and thus we all require our value to some extent to be validated by others. I already said this. You repeat your question, I repeat my answer: visually obvious, not directly stated. If you don't understand this, ask, and I'll try to explain it further. No person is sitting there in the high cha…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 07:26 PM
4

As I said, visually obvious, not directly stated. or is what being implied “these other people have someone and that’s why they are happy.” And some people take that as “If I don’t have it then I can’t be happy till I have it” Whatever it is. Validation comes in various forms. Like a parent to a child, a star athlete to a team, a politician to their represented area, etc. Some folks focus on an area of validation that holds weight to them, and sometimes that validation cannot be replaced by anot…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:33 PM
2

On paper, MGTOW does. Incels, not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:26 PM
10

Real honest question: Who taught you that your value as a person has to come from someone else’s opinion? It's always been visually obvious, although never directly stated. Whether it's from parents, people around you, or the world as a whole. Few people ever grow up so socially isolated such that they only recognize their worth in how long they are able to stay alive.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:02 PM
0

The ironic thing about sense of "self-worth" is that it usually has some affirmation from others. Very rare does someone with high "self-worth" have zero support with the world hating them. If it's in their abilities, it's through success. If it's in attractiveness, it's through others being attracted to them. If one recognizes they have high worth in one area, they can back away from another area with little consequence. To relate that to PPD, as women have many affirmations in their worth thro…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:00 PM
0

Partly. On a political note, I get the intention: If a notable person who claims to be a representative of a political party says something controversial, and it goes unchallenged in the public sphere, the implication is that those of that party accept it. Say the phrase "kill all men" or "I choose the bear". To my knowledge, this was not actively fought back against by notable feminists to say "this is divisive and toxic, and this mindset must stop".
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:05 PM
2

Though, I can see the argument that redpill/right wingers are proactive about denouncing trolls because they are already in the state of getting significant push back. Wouldn't this make OP's point more significant? When the so-called "villainous" group can call out their own when things are wrong, and the view is that the other side cannot, it makes the villains look to have more integrity then the other side.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 03:26 PM
2

See now, you're already operating under the assumption that I care a great deal about physical attractiveness. I don't. Nope. I asked you a question, and you refused to answer. You're free to respond in that way, but it's hard to talk of "agreement" when you wish to withhold information. You said personality, so define said personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:36 PM
1

Doesn't matter the reasoning, honestly, as the conclusion is the same: a once-recognized pillar of communities and widely used third space is far less used than they used to be, with a lack of proper replacement for it. Same deal with bars. Doesn't matter what hidden truth is to why people are going to bars less, but they are going to bars less, and no proper space is rising to replace it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:33 PM
3

I just recall during the height of the manosphere craze and Andrew Tate and his ilk people being so against him, but I had one question that was never really answered: "If not Andrew Tate, or Kevin Samuels, or any of these other guys, then who?" Most answers I recall were dismissive of the question, which I think illustrates the point: They don't care of the issues these men have, just that there's people they don't like with a voice to speak on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 06:13 PM
1

Eh. I think amongst the men who are single and struggling to date, they just want to know how to make themselves more successful in that regard. To go from 0 to 1, so to speak. I believe part of the vitriol is resentment, but being "uppity" just masks what's truly desired, which is why they go towards redpill.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 06:09 PM
3

The trouble is that nobody quite agrees on what "being better" entails. I think the best framing is, what do you define as attractive in terms of a potential partner? If you never met that person before, and you saw them across the room, would you be able to label them as attractive or not? What factors would lead you to that decision? Many say it's these "superficial elements" that you speak of. After all, you're not recognizing one's core character walking down the street.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 06:06 PM
4

That's their prerogative. Both viewpoints, mines and yours (well, the assumption you mentioned) could be either right or wrong on how one's actions offline is represented by what is said online. I have no concrete data to point towards one way or the other, and I'm not sure if there's anything truly conclusive on that matter. However, I just want people to be aware enough that such dating woes for struggling men cannot be pinpointed towards one cause, particularly one where notable exceptions ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:50 PM
3

This also points towards another thing: If individuals were entitled to safety, there'd be less use for self-defense techniques/weapons, as others would readily be available to provide aid. If safety was entitled, phrases like "fuck around and find out" would hold less weight, as there would be no significant consequence awaiting those on the "find out" portion of that phrase.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:44 PM
4

On the same end of "nobody is entitled to anything", can't think of anything outside of the air you breathe that is handed to you without efforts to reach out. People use the "You aren't entitled to X" as a thinly veiled insult from how I see it here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:41 PM
2

There's that. From demonizing social outlets (religion/going to church, and alcohol/going to bars), and the rise of more individual activities (smartphones, video game consoles vs arcades), people were leaned towards being solitary.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:33 PM
1

I understand getting hot under the collar when speaking about certain topics. Goodness knows I've done so in the heat of the moment. However, especially for those who jump into these discussions more than just once in their lives, you'd have to think these people recognize their own positions. I'm not here expecting folks to proclaim apologies and state they have changed their minds. Just sing a different tune after a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:23 PM
15

This subreddit at times falls prey to the just world fallacy, as if only the people who are failing and struggling are those who are morally bankrupt. It is a hypocrisy from those that demand empathy, yet don't provide.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:20 PM
4

Eh. I'm one to believe most individuals don't share their same personality in online forums as they do online. If I, ThisBoringLife, were to slander you with all swear words I knew, that behavior doesn't reflect who I am away from the computer/phone/etc. I believe that to be true of many of the people on the internet, not just this subreddit. Because of that, to speak with such confidence that one's online personality is what they show IRL when they're on a date or trying to present themselves o…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:16 PM
1

It's definitely possible such preferences are subconscious, however you'd think for anyone who engages in these sorts of discussions, they're at least aware enough of the decisions they make to recognize how important certain factors are to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:02 PM
27

I think the issue here is the assumption that struggling men are generally pieces of shit. The narrative that all men need to do is "just be nice" to succeed in dating flies contrary to the lived experiences of many who clear that line yet are still unsuccessful. Seems a bit silly to portray such men as cartoon villains every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 04:57 PM
–

Not saying it's you, just a general observation I'm making.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 05:50 PM
2

Also, it's not like all these cases are well-researched to the point everything will have notable case studies and surveys to refer to. In addition to potential misinformation, a lot of arguments here are off anecdotes and "vibes"
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 05:05 PM
–

"no true good guy" in action, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 04:53 PM
–

Definitely get the feeling that men today are being accused and paying for the sins of the elite Similar to conversations I see of justifying hate/disdain for white people in the US from black groups. But, whatever justifies bigotry and discrimination I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 04:49 PM
–

Eh. Hard to say. I recall friends I've had who doesn't know any of these people or terminologies, but speaks about similar scenarios. I think stuff like this tends to be dismissed as "chronically online" takes, but it's more like it's not part of regular conversation culturally, for a variety of reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 04:43 PM
4

Trying something again doesn't mean it's being done exactly the same way. There's a variety of combinations when it comes to dating: Who you date, where and when the date takes place, the activities done, etc. To my knowledge, most people date their partners before entering into a relationship with them. It doesn't make it insanity to attempt dating. Sure, if one is consistently failing, maybe a break and reassessment is in order. However, to label it as insanity is ill-fitting.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 08:59 PM
1

A universal tool is amazing, as it could be applied for a wide variety of situations. However, a specific tool for one job is also useful, especially if there is a lack of other tools that is effective, or as effective. I think people desire the universal tool (the generic "blue pill" advice), and discard the niche tool in this analogy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 05:30 PM
11

I would take a long, deep, honest look at myself and ask why I thought I needed a manual to learn basic human interaction in the first place. To me, that signifies a fundamental problem of some sort that needs actual work, possibly with a professional, to address. Between the rising awareness of autistic individuals who tend to have difficulties with socialization, and others who struggle in the dating field despite no apparent issues, it would seem that yes, some degree of a manual is required.…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:55 PM
6

Some people only see value in themselves in whether people want to have sex with them. It is what it is, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 02:40 PM
5

I heard years ago it was good. Last I went, it wasn't so.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 02:37 PM
1

If you are to claim the user's data and point is lacking critical context, would make better sense for you to back up your own counter-claim with data yourself, no? Your opening text has no data, and your comment to me only shows "nuh uh" as evidence. Unless you want people to believe you with no evidence to support that, you'll need to get your data ready.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 02:36 PM
1

Yet, none of what you said goes against what I'm saying: Judges aren't making their decisions against a lot of evidence. Based on your words, judges are making their decisions in spite of lack of evidence. Civil cases are usually messier because of this (I doubt most divorce cases are going to have either side fully prepared to defend themselves), but it is important to point out the issue here is that judgements have to be made even with lack of evidence on both sides. There'd be some strength …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 02:33 PM
0

It's like a man in a fursuit. If people just think it's a doggy, then they might like it because people like cute dogs. Like the Japanese guy with the $15,700 dog suit that he can hide in. I don't think anybody looks at a college mascot and immediately thinks the person inside is a furry. But even in your words, it's still a case of trying, but not being seen trying. So either naturally be that way, or be so good at masking that people won't notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 02:27 PM
1

The argument is that it's not what's applied in practice, although the theory is sound. Sure, you aren't focused on relationships. It allows you to spend time and resources on improving yourself instead of pursing others. What it ultimately comes to is numbing any feeling of disappointment and falling back to what's comfortable. No expansion of self. Just being stuck in place.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 06:41 AM
1

"beyond a reasonable doubt" is a fairly high bar in the US justice system. For non-criminal cases where the bar for evidence is lower, you're still in a better position having evidence and stats in your favor. Are you to imply a significant percentage of cases have negligent judges that make a ruling contrary to significant evidence?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 06:36 AM
1

I appreciate the details. Definitely better effort than the rants given.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 06:31 AM
1

Figurative card, or actual credit/debit card? Because it sounds like you're implying the way to go is to just pay for the date entirely. I won't argue against you if that has worked for you. It just makes it a a bit harder to think splitting the tab goes well with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 06:29 AM
3

I didn't. Just think it's a lie folks tell themselves because it sounds good.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 06:25 AM
17

I just find it ironic this same user who says complains of statistics doesn't provide links to studies and data. A number of this user's arguments are either circular (linking to to other posts they made), or linking to social media posts of random individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 09:02 PM
1

Sounds antisocial to me, but whatever works for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 08:57 PM
3

There's also that. I've had women in the past tell me they view it negatively if they have to split the bill. So there's also that wrinkle of whether it damages your chances of continuing to date someone if you decide to split the bill with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 07:18 PM
1

People can ignore stats, especially in a casual space like this one where it's not a requirement. People can make declarations without stats, and that's been seen here from folks on both sides of the gender fence. It comes down to the stats and figures used to push a point. One person's social media post used to push a point has as much weight as an anecdote from a relative's friend that I was told about back in grade school. If the data acquired and presented is valid, studies and surveys can d…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:23 PM
8

Whenever I see points like yours, the question I tend to have is "what percentage of women are actually doing this?" This isn't to disregard what you've said or done, it's solely to point out that not all women do what you do, with the main question now being how common is this behavior seen amongst all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:18 PM
1

Sure. That's on stats. Given the user ohio here is mentioning the legal system and judges in courts, there's less focus on statistics and the methodology of things like surveys and scientific experiments, and more legal evidence. So in that case, video recordings, audio recordings, social media posts, and even witness testimony helps in that regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:04 PM
15

People don't realize that with statistics, data figures very rarely hits 0%. Even with statistics, given how it's recorded, margin of error still puts folks in statistical possibility, even if considered rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:33 PM
24

Statistics helps provide an objective ground to stand on. Some information to work with. It's rare to see judges make a ruling against overwhelming evidence pointing in another direction. Court of law, even when made with emotional creatures such as humans, still requires some basis of objective standing, whether it's a trial by judge or jury.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:29 PM
1

Because you guys think correlation equals causation and assuming all households are good just because two people are in there. The only person making that assumption in this conversation is you, unfortunately. Terms like "better" and "good" are not to be treated equally. A two-person household usually does better than a one-person household due to more members in the house able to provide support. Both can be good, neither can be good. However, statistically, one has a higher chance of being goo…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 01:59 PM
6

You're hyper focused for some reason on two-parent households, as if it's not the default. It has to do with two parent households because when looking at single parents, those support systems are lacking. Two-parent households are an improvement. If the majority, or the entirety of single-parents were so well supported with friends and family, it wouldn't be seen as an issue as there are sufficient support sources around. We know that's not the norm with single parents, and thus the alternative…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:24 AM
8

I didn't assume that. You did. However, since we're speaking on assumptions, a single parent household with no external support on average will do worse than a two-parent household with no external support. Folks tend to do better when there's more support systems in place. And, I dunno about you, but I believe it's fair to say the majority of single mothers aren't out here with plentiful family support to rely on to raise their child well.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 10:45 PM
1

I won't be so callous as to imply desperation on the individuals who build attraction to someone over time. Hell, even with the OP of this thread, attraction has been built with someone who didn't even pair up with them in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 07:32 PM
1

In theory. However, like anything in regards to one's own psychology or personality traits, it's not that easy to change over time. Culturally, the local environment of liberal and conservative men are different (either local neighborhood or regional area), and that leads to different outcomes in types of personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 06:10 PM
0

From what I recall of it, it's due to conservative men showing traits that are deemed more attractive. As for women, that may be.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:56 PM
1

I recall commenting in the past that I've spotted comments of folks who've said they went through situations like yours, becoming attracted to people they weren't attracted to in the first place. I think attraction can develop over time, but I think some folks are a bit impatient for finding love within someone and thus try to find those unicorn picks where both sides are madly in love with each other at first sight.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:54 PM
0

Sure, but we know that some folks aren't necessarily interested in a relationship when they go out to look for someone. Sometimes it's just sex. However, it still makes sense for women to have more initiative, as it at least ensures they're making an effort for themselves to find a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:32 PM
0

Most data I've seen doesn't point to it, although social media chatter seems to point towards the narrative of "conservative men do better than liberal men".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:21 PM
10

I agree. More family support generally trends towards better results than less family support, and thus that additional support from a father in the child's life will usually do better than a single-mother household. Not sure if OP is expecting a two-parent household is supposed to be a great barrier from all of the world's ills.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:20 PM
3

Given the conversations here about guys looking "desperate" when approaching, I get the idea of "maintaining frame" or acting nonchalant. It just sounds like an oxymoron still.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 01:06 AM
2

The better question would be what history would be relevant to OP's argument. If the argument is history of sexual violence justifies behavior from women that OP states, then any history of "injustices" justifies men's behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:10 PM
1

Not sure where OP is from, but those two men you listed have been dead for quite a while. They wouldn't be used as a basis for current politics, and the current world leaders in office at this time.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:06 PM
1

I agree with this, but at the same time, if an individual is struggling in dating, it is to imply something about them, or what they're doing, is failing them in their efforts. If one is incredibly shy and awkward around other people, "being yourself" isn't going to help. Usually aspects of personality or social skill isn't looked at when it comes to conversations of self-improvement. If someone isn't that good with conversation, or that witty, and that's failing them in their dating efforts, "j…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:07 PM
8

I've been told in the past "try, but don't make it look like you're trying" I've failed college courses that left me less confused than that phrase.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:02 PM
1

To me, advice is useful only if it aids you in getting towards the desired result. In the case of weightlifting, it depends on the goal: Is it to get bigger and stronger, or just more attractive to women? A guy who sees relatively slim men pull women may not see weightlifting as useful advice. Same for the guy that's already engaged in it for a while (as you've said). I think that's why there's confusion even on aspects like this, because sometimes folks aren't sure if they're doing enough, or i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:59 PM
1

But how do you explain how to get confident? What's the path? Also, I don't think incel types like the idea much. If you're poor, you know a)it's down to your circumstances, like growing up in a poor household, and b) its down to personal choices, like not studying hard enough. The internal and external barriers are clear. I think the issue with confidence and whatever path to achieve it is that it's a particular path. Usually success of some kind opens up towards more success, and you have to t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:55 PM
13

The issue is, even if random internet stranger did have all the relevant data (I'll specify that the data is accurate as well), doesn't mean the analysis will be effective or actionable. So yes, do something, but whatever that something is, may not be the ideal action to take.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 06:19 PM
1

Personally, if an individual finds themselves in a similar scenario a multiple of times, I think it's fair to point out they're doing something, or failing to do something, that puts them in a repeat scenario. A woman says she's been beaten by an abusive boyfriend? That sucks. A woman says she's been beaten by her fourth consecutive boyfriend? She may or may not be aware she's putting herself in the same position a number of times.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 05:53 PM
1

It always comes down to standards. If you're still able to find a man attracted to you with whatever standards you hold, hooray. If not, adjust standards, stay searching or learn to enjoy solitude. Those are the options of all single people.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 05:39 PM
7

"Incel" is the new insult to men that's effectively a catch-all, like "small dick energy". Doesn't matter the penis size, doesn't matter the body count, doesn't matter if actually in a happy relationship. Incel. IRL it's not as easy to make those claims. After all, a married man with kids being called an incel is to indirectly insult the woman married to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 05:33 PM
1

It's not rare. But dating is different for folks.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 02:36 AM
1

Then it's simply a case of differing perspectives unable to reach a consensus. If you don't care for that, then there's no need for further discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:56 PM
1

From my viewpoint, I haven't had women make such complaints about their workplace or health. Might be dependent on the type of industry you work on. As for privilege, it's just a give and take. Some folks see better privileges as a woman in certain aspects. Some areas, it's better to be a woman. Other areas, a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:01 PM
1

My own social network puts me in major cities. Not sure how it looks like in suburban or rural regions.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:54 PM
1

Well that's my point: I've never "tried" to date. Then it leads to my previously made point: If attractive individuals are coming to you without you "trying" to date, then you are living in a different universe from those who have to make an effort. I've always had more important things to worry about: housing, healthcare, etc. Those matter far more to me than my ability to get laid (especially since most men suck at that anyway). Which is fine, if you don't care for such things. Lots of things …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:52 PM
1

Sure. Still, in context of dating, if you're trying to date or have sex with someone attractive, those factors you listed earlier is going to be less important than your social life, which puts you in that position to meet that person. If you're so fortunate that said individuals are coming to you, then I'd agree you're in a different universe.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:39 PM
1

Eh. There's strength in relationships. I think many are enamored with the idea of the "lone wolf" fantasy of working solo and doing better than the plebs who have to be grouped together. Same idea as individuals "pulling themselves up by their bootstraps". I think it's silly to believe one can thrive alone. We utilize groups to push for group benefits: political parties, unions, fraternities/sororities, special interest groups, armies, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:32 PM
2

On the flipside, the men who want to be with you for companionship wouldn't want to have sex with you ever?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:15 PM
1

In context of dating...I'd say it is. Lots of things fall to the wayside once you compare them to essential things to life like oxygen.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:11 PM
1

There's a difference between learning to use a technology and having harmony in society. Social cohesion doesn't break because people are driving, typing, or using digital banking. Social cohesion breaks when all want things their way with no compromise. People accepted not riding horses anymore due to accessibility of horses, and the overall improved speed and convenience of the automobile. People accepted typing over cursive due to it being an overall improvement as documents can be made quick…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 06:25 PM
5

I think that's a damn shame, really. Compromise is what keeps societies together. That requires both sides to give in. Assuming one can keep balance when all is on one side just sets people up for failure.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 06:18 PM
4

No point in creating your own suffering by desiring something you can never have. ...a relationship? I would be inclined to agree if it was something fantastical or exclusive, like great riches or fame, but a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 04:26 PM
1

Hard for an individual to fix something on a societal scale. We could issue the obvious: Meet people in person, spend less time on social media and apps, be willing to approach, but it needs to be reciprocated for it to feel like worthwhile advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 04:17 PM
6

Don't think that's gonna happen. Dating and romantic actions is different from just hanging out with friends, which seems to be what the woman above is alluding to. You don't marry your friends and/or have kids with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 12:09 PM
1

When you make generalized statements, you have to expect all cases. Saying "attraction doesn't have a negotiation component" means the guy who dresses badly pulls as much as the guy that dresses well, all else equal. It means the guy who's obese pulls as much as the guy that's jacked, all else equal. Minor variances won't do much; one guy in business clothing isn't going to be far more successful than another guy in business clothing just because his shirt is freshly ironed.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 12:04 PM
1

Attraction doesn't have any negotiation component. Diet, exercise and a solid outfit barely move the needle. Are we to say that fat slobs are pulling at the same frequency as fit men that dress properly? That's like saying you can get by with a high school diploma instead of a Master's degree because you can negotiate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 06:38 PM
1

Improving your looks is far harder than improving your resume. Yet, is still possible. You can improve your resume with wording to improve your presentation, like you can improve your looks with a solid outfit. You can improve your resume with education (like a certificate or degree), and you can improve your looks with diet and exercise. Both take a while to get results. I get the difficulty, however it should be emphasized it's possible to do both.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 05:47 PM
1

Couldn't you do something about both? For the job market, you can improve your resume. For the dating market, you can improve your looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 04:46 PM
1

Part of me thinks lots of folks here are incredibly antisocial.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 04:42 PM
–

Not sure how many other politicians out there people would outright say looks hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 07:14 PM
–

To be fair... any politician going to the Met Gala in a nightgown and a slogan on their ass will be more memorable than anything they're doing on Capitol Hill.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 07:13 PM
1

For sure. If the worst that happens is being downvoted in a Reddit post like this one, I think anybody who puts much stock in it is being ridiculous. Granted, I do think for most cases, that is what happens. The more serious results of "cancellation" happens, with the only argument being how frequent it happens. I think of it in the same way being a victim of a crime in a relatively safe city; it can happen, but usually it won't. Explains why some pessimists put more stock on it possibly happeni…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 04:50 PM
1

It's just that most of your average folks don't really have enough clout to even cancel. I've seen some cases of apparent job loss, but the person in question has to say some really out of pocket stuff for that. That line of what is "really out of pocket" doesn't seem to be consistent, at least in all cases where cancellation has been attempted. As for clout, I think it's not at the level of fame of some of these social media guys, but simply whatever reputation one has in their local community.…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 04:02 PM
1

Social credit is a hell of a thing. I think there is fear on being on the wrong end of cyberbullying or being "cancelled". Social media makes the general sentiment of a random person far more valuable than it would have been decades ago. I can see those factors playing into why such considerations are made. Older folks didn't have to concern themselves with such issues when they were young.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 04:18 AM
2

Forget media. Enough individuals irl and online indirectly and directly state it. Judgement for struggling in dating also pushes the notion that dating is something that one "should" be successful at, and is expected to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 04:07 AM
0

Eh. That's to argue dating and relationships are exactly the same, and I'd argue they are not. You can genuinely be someone who's great at dating and be a bad partner. While some factors are the same in both arenas, apathy towards dating results doesn't immediately translate into being an apathetic partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 06:15 PM
5

I always think there is a difference between factors that apply for dating and factors that apply for a relationship. Becoming apathetic to the results of dating doesn't mean one becomes apathetic to their partner while in a relationship. I think we've seen enough discussions where what some factors apply to the dating process doesn't apply to a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 02:38 PM
2

you'd have to show that there are plenty of "good enough" options for most women in order for this to be true Most women are average. Most dudes are average. Looking on any regular town or city street is a myriad of average individuals out there. as a non-porn watcher, a guy has to AT THE VERY LEAST be against porn for me to consider him Decent standard if you can find men you're attracted to enough to date and get to asking them about their opinion regarding porn. I think it's fair to assume yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 03:18 AM
1

Your words imply people don't have a relatively consistent value of attractiveness per person. It may vary, but it is rare to see individuals score be completely opposed to each other given a number of people rating. Example: a woman rated a 10 by one man would very likely maintain high ratings throughout. This applies on the flipside (a man rated a 10 by one woman would very likely maintain high ratings). Believing yourself to be a 10 with no validation from potential suitors, is delusion. Nice…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 03:07 AM
2

yeah but men aren't only complaining about women who literally say "i can't find a good man" The complaints about said women are valid when said women reveal they hold very high standards which eliminate the overwhelming majority of the dating pool. also its entirely true that she is right. perhaps she is too fat and ugly to attract a man of high moral character. Perhaps. No evidence to state one way or another. does that mean she isn't allowed to complain? All are free to do what they want. Thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:41 PM
4

If it reaches the point where a woman complains she is unable to find a "good man", it would be that she has raised her standards too high.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:33 PM
9

The issue wouldn't exist if some woman has decided she will close herself off from the world and won't engage socially. However, the issue exists because a woman's desire for a man whose "value" in the dating/sexual marketplace doesn't match hers. It's more of an issue when she is trying to get with someone "above her league", so to speak.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:31 PM
3

If any person living has to consider all the criminals that have harmed others before socializing, the world is fucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:26 PM
2

It's an option, although "good" may not always apply.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 08:10 PM
1

Never implied that they didn't, and certainly didn't state that explicitly. Simply that if one side doesn't show effort towards commitment while the other does, it is a problem. This can happen between hetero or homosexual relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 07:51 PM
1

Eh, I don't think the potential to easily leave is an issue. I think being with someone who doesn't reciprocate effort towards commitment is an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 07:11 PM
5

I wonder what sci-fi dystopia the world will fall in for men to stop such behavior. Sounds the same as killing libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 06:33 PM
2

I would think so. I dunno if this is a sign of a rise in some kind of antisocial behavior on both ends, but it certainly doesn't help either side.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 06:08 PM
3

In the scenario with the right, politically they're good. They don't need to shut up, because elections have been won. This puts the onus on the left to conduct damage control. I personally don't like it, but I can see who has a greater obligation to get their ducks in a row.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 06:53 PM
3

Feminists, like Democrats IMO, has the unfortunate issue where a possible fringe sub-group say toxic things that is alienating, but the majority don't fight that off. It's the same way how some random "feminist" on social media will say genuinely toxic things about men, but no major feminist is shouting that down (at best, and at worst actively encourages it). We can say "random person isn't the lead of this group/true member of this group", but most folks are going to see all of a group as bein…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 06:04 PM
7

I think that makes a good example of irony.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 06:54 PM
3

I simp-ly say that to be a simp your efforts aren't reciprocated. Doesn't matter if the lady an ogre or the most beautiful woman alive. If she don't give love back to the love that you show, and you continue to give love, it makes you a simp.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 03:29 PM
–

Wait...where did the slander towards pitbulls come from?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 05:40 PM
2

I think when you get older you'll realize that a good life can be very boring at times, life is generally boring and things that are constant excitements in life are generally bad things happening to you. But hopefully you'll also find the joy in the boring times of a good life and you won't ruin a good thing by chasing excitement. My name exists for a reason. The majority of people live lives that are repetitive for the most part. It's mostly boring. It doesn't make it bad. Just...boring. Excit…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 04:12 AM
1

I hold no assumptions on how long people are looking for searching for someone to fit their standards, or how active they are in their efforts. My statement is as plain as it is written. After all, I already stated you can hang on to your standards and see what happens. It is an option.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 06:43 PM
1

In terms of wording, yes you are correct. However, even with our shared understanding, I hold by my message and add to it: If you are unable to find someone with the standards that you hold, you're stuck waiting until someone meets, or you're forced to adjust your standards. Being more specific (in this case, going from "bisexual men" to "bisexual nerds", with the implication said bisexual nerds are also male) while still failing to find someone from the previous filter, while also expecting res…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:53 PM
1

I always say it like this: If you are unable to date/partner/fuck individuals within your standards, you must either continue to wait until someone does, or you must lower your standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:19 PM
3

Eh. Sex imo is still one of the greater factors to demonstrate interest (and attraction) in someone. You want to wait to give it up? That's acceptable. Just gotta show an appreciable alternative. If that interest isn't in display, men won't stick around as much for the full validation process.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:02 PM
8

What I'd want to know from the data folks, is whether or not paying for premium truly helped their rates. If you're paying that much on a dating app, the match rate better jump significantly to justify the price.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:57 PM
2

Hasn't there been enough cases within reddit already of posts gender-flipping a scenario and noting wildly different results?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:48 PM
5

I will agree with you here. I hold no argument against telling men to improve themselves (although I have argued on reasons why resistance to it exists), and ultimately each man is simply one half of a relationship. Even amongst the manosphere, I don't see resistance to telling men to hit the gym, dress well, and to not be broke (aka get a job). However, I don't see content from women telling women similar things (although the reframing of such things as "do it for you" may qualify).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:40 PM
1

It's a debate sub, to discuss sex and gender issues. If we aren't willing to do that, why be on the sub? To get on a personal soapbox and shout down whatever conflicts with our personal beliefs. Jokes aside, I do agree that data is helpful where it can be collected. Otherwise we're fully reliant on anecdotes and lies, fully shaped by one's perspective. Enough arguments had where one's perspective doesn't match another's lived experience, which led to denial.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 03:06 PM
1

I believe Spike Lee made a modern film on this: Chi-raq. I think the main issue is that both men and women, particularly the attractive ones, can gatekeep sex. However, I think the "war" here couldn't be resolved by abstaining from sex. As for actual wars now, I highly doubt women on both sides would agree to hold off from sex to coerce their men to stop fighting.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 04:13 PM
2

If Stacy is "a woman they consider as attractive as they'll get", then wouldn't it make sense that going for these men would make you Stacy?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 04:05 PM
5

Also maybe. There's also the factor of queer relationships, which is "same, but different" from straight relationships. But my previous comment is my general 2 cents on the matter. Value it as much as you value 2 cents, I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 07:40 PM
13

Possibly. But given the wording, it sounds like this wasn't something that OP understood prior. So, if one women didn't get that about their fellow women, I'd imagine more women (queer and straight) don't understand these troubles either. Which makes them blind to the disconnect between the genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 07:35 PM
11

Also the part about women flirting without actually meaning it idk…. I feel like you might just not be great at reading queer flirting signs over hetero signs? As a straight guy...is there a difference between these flirting signs?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 07:32 PM
28

I suppose the issue is that (straight) women don't understand the difficulties of dating themselves, and the challenges that come up during the dating phase. Even if agreed "men and women aren't the same", that doesn't imply understanding the challenges of dating between the genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 07:29 PM
–

Are you telling me you don't compromise when you decide to stay alone?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:52 PM
9

It's possible you don't see this, but there's sufficient media discourse (on top of personal experience) over the years of abusive behaviors by women either played for laughs or downplayed in how serious it is. Enough scenarios where the men facing such abuse is laughed off or downplayed. Enough social context of "women can't abuse men, they're too weak to do so", which leaves men to be silent on their situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 08:51 PM
–

Well, I’ll just disagree. I can complain about not getting what I want, and that doesn’t mean I’ll be happy with something else. That is possible, yes. Although I'd inquire why "something else" wouldn't do for you. If it's simply "I want this thing and nothing else will do", the frame of mind is wrong imo. Reminds me of folks who want brand name items only when other brands fit are just as good. The whole “pumped and dumped” thing is gross and ridiculous. It’s called dating and involves having s…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:33 PM
–

No, but it’s kind of silly to criticize people for their preferences or what they’re attracted to. Depends. Some preferences are silly to enforce, others less so. As for women not wanting to, it comes down to not moralizing it. Sure, go for what you want, wait for it even. However, if the result of doing so is negative (waiting excessively, being pumped and dumped by the guys who fit your preference, etc), complaining about it online seems silly. Don't justify one's choices with whatever mumbo j…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:14 PM
–

Again, who lives and succeeds without compromise? People can risk and fail, or compromise and be taken advantage of. However, to assume all who succeed don't compromise at all (not even a little bit) is silly. This isn't about morality, this is practicality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:55 PM
–

How many folks find success (especially in the long term) without compromise?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:43 PM
–

Sure, but being free to do what you want doesn't mean your actions are free from criticism, or it bans others from speaking on it. If a woman is looking for a relationship, and their standards limits their field of options of otherwise good partners, adjustment is an option. If they're fine waiting for someone to fit their standards to fall into their arms, that's fine. Although, remaining single and complaining about one's woes finding a partner while having such high standards is silly to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:32 PM
15

I suppose the point that enforces OP's argument is that society doesn't see female abusers as abusers, same way society doesn't see male domestic violence victims as victims. Most criminals see their actions as justified in one way or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:25 PM
–

I'm not sure who here truly believes they're going to get a woman here, or is actively making an intention to do so. All I can say is that if someone is failing to acquire the people they want, adjusting their standards may help.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 03:17 PM
1

Sure, but unless we're equating these small percentage of nice guys capable of causing a huge deal of damage to something ridiculously significant like holding nukes, it's overblown imo. Are we to say that small percentage of nice guys also vastly outnumber the bad boys who can cause not just a huge deal of damage, but damage at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 04:40 PM
1

I think the issue, whether asserted by one side, the other, or both, is that these two extremes exist. Can you have someone who is the "best of both worlds"? Sure, same way you can have the opposite. On top of those extremes existing, is the declaration that one is genuinely better (and thus "good") over the other (and thus "evil"). That's why we have comments sprinkled throughout this sub and its history that declares the bad boys to be "ultimately good", and the nice guys "ultimately evil". Is…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 04:36 PM
1

The idea of incentives is to push people to change their behavior to fit the incentive. Sure, it may benefit people who already fit that mold, but they don't need convincing. It's those who are on the fence and on the other side. Disincentives work the other way; it punishes those who don't fit the mold, which again isn't for those who don't have to worry about that, but for those who are on the fence and on the other side.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 04:14 PM
4

Or going so far as to say "looks don't matter".
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 04:09 PM
2

IMO, love and attraction are independent to morality since morality is for the group's survival strategy and attraction act on an individual basis. That's fine, and I can agree with this, however that looks to contradict OP's viewpoint, which is a foundation of their argument. I could still argue that we are the sum of the people we frequent the most, so a man/woman who choose and spend time with the wrong people will build a certain history. What do you think ? I also agree with this. I believe…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 04:07 PM
3

Agreed. Yes, there are times in which a decision made long ago ultimately didn't work out. However, at the time, it looked good with no genuine warning signs. Telling someone "choose better" in that scenario is unhelpful and petty. However, if it is obvious a potential partner is disrespectful, or it is made plainly clear of their history, and to ignore those signs, "choose better" is applicable when things fail in predictable ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 03:05 PM
2

From what I readed, OP isn't saying good men are sexless but have self control. To do an analogy it's like we are allowed to be angry but know how to act nevertheless🤔 Given OP's past activity in comments, it's enforcing a halo effect; good people will be attractive to and sexually active with good people. Bad people get either the rest of the trash or nothing at all. If this was a simple case of "just have self control, you guys", there'd be less issue in regards to who the men actually were wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 02:59 PM
5

"good men" listed by OP is vague, held by a standard of not having lust for women, which is damn near the base for attraction. Hell, it puts even the implication that "good men" are sexless, chaste men. Placing that qualification on what is "good" may as well disqualify every man with functional libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:09 PM
4

I think ultimately one's judgement is always going to be weighted by the past, regardless of how much effort is made to liberate themselves from it. As for guys who rage over women's bad choices, I think it's the same case of "complaining about complaints"; women complain about their scenario, men point out it's the result of their choices, and now there's complaints of those who point out the folks who're living through the result of their choices. However, this topic has been done by OP in the…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 09:48 PM
1

I guess the question then is, what don't you "get"? Is it how women present themselves in ways to be objectified? Is it the response these women get from presenting themselves in such ways? I just find it a bit surprising if you believe women who post sexually provocative content on social media intentionally are not desiring to be objectified by their audience. It's more than just the strippers, prostitutes and porn stars.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 09:22 PM
1

You get both. Which, given I'm the type to read comment sections, is what strippers and porn actresses gets on their videos.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 07:12 PM
1

I don't go on Instagram, but I assume men aren't making lewd comments to them all the time, otherwise they would probably be banned. Sure, for women who don't present themselves in sexually provocative ways. A nurse who is posting thirst trap pics on her lunch break or posing next to a patient with her butt in focus is certainly not getting compliments on her commitment to patient care. They're getting objectified, just that one can "play dumb" about the intent of the compliments, and thus "look…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 06:42 PM
–

I think for private companies, censorship is their tool to cultivate the experience that will garner the most users. To speak as an example of this, think of post/comment guidelines in some subs. It would make sense for a sub fully focused on cars, to ban posts about trains. While not genuinely harmful, it does go against the cultivated experience the sub's moderators want to encourage. I think we focus on significant things when we consider censorship for spaces, and not more practical cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 06:19 PM
1

I'm blending statements from OP and mydragonurdungeon to make the previous conclusion: The assumption then, is that based on the OP, all women have a preference to load a dishwasher in a suboptimal way. As for the cups, it seems the other user puts it down to "preference", which seems to imply it doesn't matter if upside down or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 06:10 PM
2

If that's the case, then we wouldn't be discussing incompetence with these women in this scenario, would we?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 04:51 PM
7

So, someone who is "morally challenged". Enough conversations here how the criminal-types or genuine assholes can also be sexually successful or have girlfriends/wives. Not sure if that affects his actual physical attractiveness, but it seems from your comment it's safe to say so.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 04:50 PM
6

The assumption then, is that based on the OP, all women have a preference to load a dishwasher in a suboptimal way. Because it would be silly to believe the entirety of a group habitually prefer to handle their chores in a way that leads to the job not being done right, or having to take longer than needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 04:47 PM
8

Best I can say is that if you're trying to efficiently load a dishwasher, you need to be able to orient the dishes properly. And if a dishwasher isn't in the best condition, someone may notice a certain position is ideal for washing dishes. At least, that's my assumption here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 03:41 PM
2

I'm assuming someone who would be called unattractive by most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 03:28 PM
6

Eh. Maybe it's my bias, but from all the places I've worked, I don't see young attractive women cleaning office buildings and scrubbing toilets, at least not in ratio of the amount of women posting thirst trap pics that I see passively scrolling through Instagram.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 03:34 PM
1

I think the solution is how things are handled within the relationship itself: I think ultimately, if women "settled" for their man, but still loved them and treated them like their primary choice, it wouldn't be much of an issue. Obviously, this is a gender-neutral mindset, and thus would apply if the roles were reversed. But this requires the alleged "settler" to treat the relationship with love and care. Do I think some folks would truly get hung up on this regardless? I think so, but giving …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 09:07 PM
8

I can imagine so. What woman wants to feel like the "good enough" choice to their husband or boyfriend?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:46 PM
–

Well, I do appreciate the consideration to reply later on. As for your comment: If your hobbies don't make you particularly social, you would have to find outlets to specifically find a way to date not very sociable people (either apps or someone who also happens to enjoy that particular hobby) Which means ultimately an individual has to make the additional effort to seek these communities of individuals with similar hobbies to socialize in. Hopefully there's single women in said communities to …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:44 PM
3

Bad food will kill you, fast. Holding out for food that doesn’t is safer. The mentality is that you can maintain this mindset when dealing with starvation, which is difficult already for many. And you won’t die without sex. It's romantic intimacy that's lacking, not necessarily sex. It's the reason many men (given a previous post on this sub) wouldn't be satisfied through having sex with a prostitute. If the toxic women are showing the men affection, these same men that they lacked for very long…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 03:10 PM
6

I think what's worse is that, given some of the "nice guy" conversations here, those good people are gaslit into believing they're not actually good people at all, simply for desiring a good outcome from their efforts.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 03:04 PM
3

Not just that, but LTRs and marriage doesn't exactly mean one is fully committed to them. After all, sudden breakups and divorces happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 02:54 PM
3

The issue is "nobody is entitled to anything" quote-sayers usually still expect some degree of morality, which is why things like cheating still won't be justified in their eyes. Personally, I think relationships do have "responsibilities", and not "entitlements". The difference is that failure to heed these responsibilities will cause the relationship to suffer. You don't need to acknowledge or utilize an entitlement. You do need to acknowledge and fulfill a responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 02:53 PM
3

Eh, a bit late for me to be honest. I've wrapped myself in these discussions for quite a while. There is nuance to this self-improvement thing, but it's rarely approached in that manner.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 06:52 PM
17

I find it quite interesting that there are individuals here, especially among the regulars, that can't believe things outside of their own perspective reality. And then there's astonishment that there's a lack of empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 02:59 PM
2

The thing is, developing a lifestyle that you are confident and satisfied about will change the way people react when you approach. This comes with the implication that the lifestyle you enjoy and are comfortable with will have you socialize with others, along with finding women to casually approach with your interests. The truth of the matter is that certain interests are more sociable than others, as well as certain lifestyle aspects. If you can't find a partner in these areas, you have to go …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 02:57 PM
44

Which usually gets countered with "You didn't try long/hard enough." It ends up with people getting put in a cycle of having to self-improve just to get to a point that may not come.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 01:03 PM
2

Eh. Confidence requires success in whatever one does, along with reps. Hard to be confident if all previous attempts were failures. Easy enough to build confidence in your body from exercise because you can make modular improvements (You were able to bicep curl 5 pounds before, and now you're able to curl 7.5, for example). For dudes who haven't had success in dating or being shown attraction (at least in recognizable ways), it's a major gap to jump.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 01:01 PM
2

Would be an actual adult with what would be considered a very high interest in Disney products. Usually involving their animated films, and the Disney theme parks.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:31 PM
2

Your history unfortunately means I can't give you benefit of the doubt, so you'll need to bring your own receipts this time. If you're unwilling to do so, then there's not much else for us to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:28 PM
2

Who are "they" in this regard? There's a lot of grouping in your statements and claims, with no evidence on this, outside of you again stating there's this "they" making these claims. Shouldn't be hard for you to drop links to offending statements.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:07 PM
1

Then it definitely sounds like a lack of initiative and appreciation on their part. But also, would it be fair to say that because those past relationships were stale and boring for you, it ended up ultimately "unhealthy"?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:05 PM
–

"Hope it works out for her, I guess." As for the practical bit, I do expect to pay when asking women out on dates, which is why I choose my spots accordingly. However to me, while paying for the date may look like just courtesy, asking out is a sign of interest. Gotta reciprocate that interest if dating is to continue.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:01 PM
1

While I do think the standard day to day for the majority of people end up the same, I also think people can switch it up for themselves. Takes two to tango in that regard; gotta offer up spontaneous actions and plans, gotta bring some humor and randomness, etc. If one person declines all the invitations to switch it up, or if neither initiates for some reason, things will get stale.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:56 PM
1

I think then people confuse "healthy" with "lack of excitement". It would be fair to presume here that in your example, varied and frequent sex brings excitement to your relationship. I'm not sure if "sexless" would be the case for these relationships, but definitely things getting stale.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:52 PM
6

So would it be safer to state that the term is used excessively in an incorrect context, which makes the term less potent than it would normally be.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:46 PM
2

I think anybody can agree on that, although like factors for attraction, there's a lot of common factors to look at. However, I don't think any man here has outright stated (and especially in any notable numbers) that creeps of any kind don't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:44 PM
1

A lot of OP's "I got proof people think this" ends up being links to their previous posts, in which they again say other people say this, without linking to someone else actually saying that. Basically, strawmen arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 10:11 PM
1

Hold on. By "the blue pill is a system designed to keep men and women apart.", it sounds like you're going for the charitable opinion, which is what you said: I think the most charitable construction is that it's only designed to keep less socially competent men away from women, since it's assumed that only men with significant mental health problems would have significant deficits... And not what would be the extreme, which is rejecting heterosexual relationships. I don't exactly think even tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 08:01 PM
8

Eh. It's seen well enough within media, both in generations past and present. If that's not enough, between personal experiences and tales of others speak to this same narrative. It may not be something that you personally subscribe to, but then we're arguing who's point of view is more visible.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:50 PM
2

Eh. That's PPD for ya.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 04:27 PM
4

People need others. After all, humans are a social species. Social services are funded through the efforts of others. Even fulfillment of mental health needs through therapy, still requires a human therapist. I think these conversations like to minimize the importance of others by emphasizing what is a "biological need".
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 04:22 PM
–

I'd be interested in reading it, if you can find it. Psychologically, it makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 04:15 PM
–

Sure, and you're not entitled to have your desires met. It's the same end point, from my point of view. It's still justifying a reduction in quality of life for everybody under the statement that it is not a "need".
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 04:14 PM
1

Your line of logic is the same as the previous "sex is a need" post, in which OP of that post states that being tube fed in a vegetable state meets your needs, and thus one shouldn't ask for me than that. It is a slippery slope to basically state that as long as one isn't immediately dying from a lack of it nothing else is required, which also justifies others even giving the bare minimum from things (as you've mentioned it).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 04:09 PM
1

Well, this argument is on the nuance of what is considered a "want" and "need", along with methods to acquire them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 03:54 PM
–

The implication imo is that it is a critical component for someone's mental health (sex is deemed a critical component of intimacy within a relationship, and a dead bedroom is a sign of a relationship going wrong), along with social status (because society definitely doesn't look well upon virgins after a certain age).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 03:50 PM
–

I think the side-stepping is either going for a limited interpretation of the term "need", or for justifying an anti-social existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 03:47 PM
–

I think this is the same line of logic to say that nothing beyond the bare essentials (food, water, shelter) is required to live, and thus shouldn't even be desired. The implication being that whatever isn't needed is something not to strive towards. Same idea how self-actualization isn't something anyone died from, and thus striving for it shouldn't be done. Nobody died specifically from loneliness, and thus why try to make friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 03:44 PM
5

The issue here is that generations ago the qualities considered attractive, from the limited perspectives of parents and grandparents, being likable was enough. That is why parents speak with no hidden subtext or lines to read between. What they did worked for them, what they saw that worked was enough. Given the culture shift and rise of social media, I think we have better evidence to say such personality traits aren't enough. Looks matter more than personality, and both have to be exceptional…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 02:23 AM
12

whatever OP likes is what is "normal"
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 02:13 AM
1

Same way how I've told older relatives how the job market works. Can't just walk into a store, ask for a job, and give a firm handshake.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 05:49 PM
1

I guess the general question to ask is: Would training one's boxing skills directly be more effective in becoming a better boxer than training it indirectly through these other skills?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 03:42 PM
2

I agree. I think the issue with social media (not just here) is that it'll make you pause too much looking for an ideal that won't arrive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 07:03 PM
2

Other countries with dating woes for men and women don't have the level of obesity that the US has.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 06:42 PM
2

In general, advice for dating and advice for relationships aren't 1-to-1. Utilizing TRP for one's relationship imo is like using the wrong size wrench for the job. It just don't fit right.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 06:41 PM
3

Generally I agree with this, I think people are told online that if you have to get literally everything together which I have also learned to be a load of shit. It was a narrative spread here once upon a time. I do agree that socializing, both in being friendly and being romantic, is part of that self-improvement process, and thus you need to be out in the field and trying it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 06:34 PM
5

Every now and then I think some ladies here take their ideals from Lifetime movies and spew them here.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 06:28 PM
2

Well, part of that improvement process includes talking to people they're attracted to, imo. It's both, in that one includes the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 06:26 PM
6

Yes, but... There is some weight to what paramedico said in regards to "a bitter woman who will try to go after you." Having someone throw accusations of you on social media or report it to your job is a bit more serious with greater repercussions than being called ugly when shooting your shot. Because then it's not about your self-esteem or opinion of yourself. It's your reputation, and possibly livelihood that is threatened.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 03:11 PM
–

Sure, but I'd be more interested in your opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 03:04 PM
0

I think some folks really don't get how much value there is in that intimacy. Friendly social connection is fine, and family is great, but that level of intimacy is something wholly desired by many.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 05:50 PM
6

How I see it, if women wanted only the top tier men to approach them, they would have to recognize that won't always be the case. Only so many Middle Eastern princes willing to fly women overseas to be with him. So we get now women complaining about men not approaching, which is the effect of their collective efforts. If this continues and in greater numbers, it'll be on their hands to reverse messaging...or start to approach themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 06:05 PM
8

Might qualify as organic these days, so it definitely adds up.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 04:50 PM
4

Rare that I hear that "common sense" and logic contradict each other. Would you like to explain that?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 04:39 PM
17

So either be an all star, or risk accusations.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 04:37 PM
15

The issue is this: I get OP's third point in which after all that effort to get to the end goal, the prize isn't worth it. It's just that it's a tough break on what to ask of folks individually. If men feel resentment for making this effort to become "dateable" and don't find a good partner afterwards, what can any one woman do about that individually? I suppose the answer would be "lower standards", but that leaves women with men who don't go through that improvement process, which may be men t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 10:26 PM
1

Eh. Enough "bear vs man" discussions left the internet that I've overheard.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:57 PM
–

Which sucks, because then on both sides, attacking one thing means attacking both, and same with defense. It's easy to duck and hide from attacks. Easy to criticize TRP because Andrew Tate is red pill, and he does bad things. Easy to defend TRP because an ideology isn't centered on one man, and people can agree on things like self-improvement being good.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:35 PM
2

Hmm... Seems like the problem is exactly that, no? If folks can't reach a consensus either due to misunderstanding or refusing to listen to others, it's hard to be at a middle ground where solutions can be talked on. Basically, it leads to more division. Which, if you're someone who prizes division or profits from it, I guess is not a problem. However, if you are not, it can be viewed as an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 07:54 PM
2

So, it's safe to say that it means both. Your phrasing goes back to OP's bullet point of "doing it for yourself". I understand the perspective that "Well, if you're doing well for yourself, you'll do well in the dating world". This perspective I think gets challenged every now and again with individuals who overall are doing well for themselves, yet don't have success. You point to this being survivorship bias, and I agree with that. However, it still leaves one who put in all that effort for no…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 07:24 PM
–

I don't have such stats to provide you. You'd have to dig around or ask to see if you can get that information.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 07:16 PM
29

This might be against the post rules, but given some of the responses here, it seems the consensus is this: "Yes, that may be true, but so what? What's the proper alternative to this?" In which such responses have a point. Self-improvement still will do you better in the dating market than not, and if you drop out of the market, you'll just be resentful for others being able to succeed, and you missing out on your opportunities to succeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 06:08 PM
1

Sorry, I'm a bit confused here. Is "successfully cross the chasm" in terms of simply continuing the self-improvement, or is that finding success in dating from the self-improvement?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 06:04 PM
5

I believe "self-improvement", in the context it's primarily used here, it's focused mainly with the end goal of being able to be more successful in the dating market. It's why "do it for yourself" can be seen as contradictory when told to folks who are initially told to "self-improve".
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 06:02 PM
5

I agree that "other people have it better" is a bad argument for not trying to improve yourself, but I can see "I've made genuine effort to improve, to achieve no results" raise a bit of resentment.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:59 PM
–

I think it's because collectively people also don't like to talk nuance. I'll get to your point in a sec. For TRP, it's very rare we get folks that say "Andrew Tate, for all his flaws, is able to address a glaring flaw in our current societal fabric that many either haven't noticed or care to address." So we get a lot of babies being thrown out with the bathwater, in the rush to deny all that gets said and mentioned. For the UK, I assume it's the same bit: more men being sentenced and serving lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:56 PM
3

I get that part, which is a shame. "My way or the highway" mentality when it comes to discussions about societal issues will get people to start considering the highway as a really good idea. Same vibe happens with a lot of the "Why Kamala Harris lost" post-election discussions. There's less understanding of the flaws of her campaign, and more "why didn't people just take what was graciously given to them!?" with no hindsight as to why that candidate has soured the taste people had for that poli…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:49 PM
2

As another person said here, if comprehension genuinely isn't the issue, then it's that we have too many folks here that pretend not to understand, or forgo said understanding to pursue whatever narrative they want to speak on.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:24 PM
3

Oh, I'm sure. But like I told another dude here before, if folks want to be considered authentic in their help they have to give a damn and give an effort in their conversations to connect with others. Immediately vilifying others just because you want someone to punch down on helps nobody, not even yourself. If the traumatized women learned that, I think we'd be slightly better. Can't do nothing about trolls, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:21 PM
–

I think it's a mix; I think what is considered harmful is the presentation of it, and that said presentation is given far more weight than the content of the words. Main reason why people who are against said men's issues or trp point to manosphere guys that are deemed a target such as Andrew Tate (safer to point to him since he's got a court case now), and less on the details of what TRP is.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:18 PM
–

From how I've had others mention it here and comment to me about it, it's that red pill is ineffective at best, and toxic at worst. Most discussions don't go into the nitty-gritty of the tenets of red pill and its individual efficacy. It's usually nitpicking if such things are truly red pill, and what other people do that they don't like.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:15 PM
3

I think the proper term of that is apathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:12 PM
4

I think it's worse. Attempting to "mic drop" as if this isn't an ongoing situation and there will be no further discussion on it. If someone wants to say their piece and leave, that's perfectly fine. However, it's the same mentality as wanting to "win" an argument in which there's no winners.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 05:08 PM
2

The issue is not just the accusation of what the other side does, but also when individuals do the same to themselves. Something along the lines of "I'm a woman, I do X, so all women do X", and the same line for men. I argue against it from time to time, but I will say I have seen individuals claim hivemind for themselves and their gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 03:38 PM
–

I still stand by my statement made earlier. If these dog whistles were enough, then it meant the Democrats failed in presenting themselves as a group most effectively delivering support for men, and continuing to be that best group for men. Politics is presentation. Just like marketing. There's enough old dogs on the left that should be able to understand they need to look as good as their actions do, if not better. To lose the popular vote after this many elections, even when losing elections b…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 09:57 PM
–

I've always said it like this: If they truly cared, then their failure is effectively showing they cared. And if perception of you can be viewed so negatively as to negate your works, you have to wonder why that is. I am not here to say that you, nor your organization do not care about men. I am here to say the political party at large did a horrid job presenting itself as caring about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:15 PM
2

Agreed. Enough League of Legends games promoted the idea of snappy communication.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 09:07 PM
4

I understand that perspective. And I think, for both our sakes for now and into the future, it is far more productive to be explicit on these things. I've seen defeatist folks take genuinely good-intentioned (from myself and others) advice and twist it into self-flagellation. Unfortunately, I've also seen folks here and elsewhere who aren't good-intentioned and use such words. Will it work? Definitely not all the time. However, I think for those who need that validation that their concerns aren'…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 09:06 PM
2

In the context of many conversations they don't. Because incels and random loney fucks on the internet value looks way too highly. You don't have to be "chad" to get dates, if you are an average looking dude you look more then good enough to get with girls. Hence why people say looks don't matter. Mild disagreement, only because I've been unfortunate enough to have folks not use that context and say "looks don't matter". Of course, that does little to dissuade those who have absolute zero in suc…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:47 PM
4

Eh. Seen enough discussion here and elsewhere where individuals outright state "looks don't matter" that I can see why it gets chucked into being a red pill position, despite it being "common knowledge". This contention with looks within this subreddit itself (not to mention elsewhere) is why I even start to question how common this "common knowledge" is.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:27 PM
5

I think even with digital communities like Discord, some folks don't have the courage/willpower to interact with other individuals though voice chat.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:21 PM
4

but I do think the red pill's rise points to a real problem that shouldn't just be ignored (a lack of personal economic agency on an individual basis, decaying social empathy for others, and decaying community values as a whole driven by work addiction, narcissism, and hyper-individualism). I guess the issue as well is that it should be obvious enough through social media such things are valued, and attempts to behave contrary to this is ridiculed.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:17 PM
5

Given how much I spent on dating before, a 4% chance of success from 4 easy payments of 9.99 is higher than the lotto's odds, and the rewards might be just as worth. I'm sure that number was pulled from thin air, but from my perspective dudes who have no clue how to improve their rates of success in the dating market are willing to put money down to figure out what to do. This should be considered the same as buying a textbook or a workout plan; it won't translate into immediate results, but acc…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:12 PM
1

There are parts which red pill "teaches" that indeed work, but these aren't exclusive to the red pill. Even if it doesn't apply exclusively to red pill, how do these factors not count? If OP's claim is that people spend money and invest their time into doing things these red pill folks say to do, and those things include factors non-red pill people say, then those people are paying money to do those things too.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:07 PM
2

At least, it shouldn't be thought of that this information hasn't been communicated and provided for free on YouTube and other sites, even by the ones accused of being grifters. Even if money is given to a content creator, it shouldn't be under the assumption they wouldn't have listened to them otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:03 PM
5

Nah, I get it. Certain interests, especially if limited, can be seen as bland (or will become so over time). Heck, some women might not display a great level of interest (or ability) in socializing, and thus conversations are bland. Which is a shame, because I think they can push themselves to improve on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 07:31 PM
4

I always found that ironic. While the journey of losing weight can be difficult, it's also fairly straightforward on how to do so, and that it's usually seen as a good way to improve your looks. Anyone who disregards that but has the gall to tell others how to improve is silly in my book.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 07:04 PM
9

So, we either have to believe the "fuckboys" and abusive boyfriends are demonstrably more caring, sacrificial, and selfless than the "nice guys", or that the physical attraction blinds women who are with these guys to the lack of those traits mentioned. The last bit I agree on, but the other stuff? Eh...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:46 PM
1

Only thing I'd disagree with is that with hot individuals, any personality trait can be seen as attractive. It's the same way that any hobby said attractive man engages in also looks attractive, simply by them engaging in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:40 PM
2

Given what's looked at for attractiveness, the 6'0 clone is likely going to be deemed more attractive than the 5'6 original.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:38 PM
16

For me, the boring part is less of an issue as it is the incompatibility and lack of mutual effort to do good for each other. Most folks have standard boring 9-5 jobs, and I certainly qualify as being boring myself. However, I think if both parties try to enrich each other's lives, then it's worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 06:31 PM
1

Eh, I can't think of many folks who push just for bodybuilding; after all, enough fighters and cross-fit folks can rock a six pack and be jacked. Even amongst the manosphere, I don't recall seeing the push specifically for bodybuilding (hell, even Andrew Tate was a former kickboxer). Some folks might go that route because that's where their interest lies. All in all, these guys you're speaking about are at the same level of the "nice guys", solely because they're unsuccessful. That is, assuming …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 08:18 PM
1

I assume the basket here would be their personality?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 08:13 PM
–

Given the complaints, probably avoiding all social media would help OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 04:43 PM
–

Many places just cares to see you got a Master's, and doesn't really qualify the school you go to.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:13 PM
–

Cosmic karma? Who knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:12 PM
3

Hookups, in place of social connection, is more like eating a bag of chips and thinking that is proper nutrition. All that to say, a bag of chips to eat is still better than eating nothing at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:09 PM
3

"Confidence" can be attractive. "Smart" can be attractive. Being annoying isn't. Being fat doesn't help either.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 03:52 PM
2

My words don't contradict my comment history, if that's your implication here. There's folks who develop parasocial relationships with actors they see on tv, or even news anchors. That's not to say that everyone who watches TV is toxic, but simply that an excess (to the point it damages everyday relationships and interactions) is no good. Because we surely aren't going to say that every man who's seen porn at some point is now some toxic misogynist. Like we're not going to say every woman who sc…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 04:52 PM
1

This is one of those cases that just because you're willingly complicit in an action, doesn't make it a good one. Many folks get shitfaced drunk and are fine getting to that point. Doesn't make excessively drinking good. Some baby mothers are fine being a single parent and may even maintain a good relationship with the baby's father. Doesn't make being a single parent a good idea. Sure, someone in a handicap can do better than those under base circumstances. Still doesn't make it a situation peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 03:00 PM
0

I'll agree with you on that one. Hypocrisy on the topic is worse than the porn consumption itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 02:56 PM
7

To me, the porn one is a bit strange, because some folks can accept porn as porn, and others can't. I don't think any married man who watches porn would actively compare their wives to porn stars (at least, they shouldn't). If it doesn't break the bank or strain the relationship, I think it's manageable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 10:07 PM
1

I think for at least some individuals, they want to know there's some level of "end goal" for the fight. If you're fighting with life's struggles and pains, there would have to be a point to it, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 05:12 PM
1

I think at the same time, even if society failed, it would make sense for men and women to try their best to group together. Professionally, networking is always useful, and personally, a good friend group can help you through conflict.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 05:10 PM
1

Maybe it's a stretch, but from how I'm reading the comment, it sounds more as "any woman (even those not considered to be candidates as partners, so they'd be treated at the same tier as a friend or acquaintance) shows less support than the few men I've come to know".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 05:08 PM
1

It's asking social creatures to live an isolated life. It's possible, but that comes with it's own set of traumas that seems to get overlooked.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 05:04 PM
2

I think some men hold the same sentiment as you, but like all on the internet, I'm sure there's some amount of men that fits the complaint.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:23 PM
13

You're forgetting the other message: Greek organizations are also important for networking.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 04:04 PM
10

OP really doesn't seem to understand this. Young women like to party with young men. It's not predatory. I suppose the issue from the audience here at times is that there is the perception, either through unfortunate IRL circumstance or social media, that women view men as an bother or a danger. Granted, this is more a case where looking in the wrong spaces can lead to that perception.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 04:01 PM
1

I get it...sorta. What happened to them is bad. The person that abused them aren't in the right, and I highly doubt anyone here would say that they actually were. But it has to be recognized that certain traits they didn't pay attention to before would tip them off to who their abuser really is. As that one phrase goes: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Or unless you're Bush: "You fool me, I can't get fooled again."
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:06 PM
1

Well, same idea as for those who been a victim of a crime: Be more mindful of the conditions that got you victimized, and learn to avoid it. Even those who are cautious can get caught with their guard down.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:02 PM
1

Is being "voluntarily single" part of the 99%, or the 1%? Because that would label those individuals who don't care for relationships losers as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 04:06 PM
1

"Not everyone" may as well apply to lottery tickets. Not everyone loses if there is a winner. If it doesn't apply to a significant percentage of men who have succeeded with women, it's not exactly advice worth following. Given this post holds comments where one man's hobby was deemed as "boring", I think OP has a point.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 06:36 PM
1

Not the case. I just think in context of the dating market and attraction, men don't see their hobbies and interests being able to make them attractive. And joining women's hobbies, even if said man was interested in it, is viewed negatively (either secretly trying to hit on women, or just gay).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 05:08 PM
2

Not to an incel. For them, a hobby, like everything else, is a tool to increase their likelihood of getting access to sex. So...you're agreeing with the person above you, who's agreeing with Mongo's comment. That being: When people say “have a hobby” they mean “do something that makes you cool in some way.”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 05:01 PM
13

The issue with "working on yourself" as a mantra that many hold is that relationship skills are very difficult, if not impossible to cultivate on your own. Any "independent boss babe" sort of woman could in general work on their body and their finances, and thus become an accomplished professional in their field and look like a fitness model. However, that doesn't translate to identifying not only what they want in a relationship, but working with their partner to work towards individual and mut…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 04:52 PM
5

Maybe it's me, but the assumption here is that if you have a husband, this is a person you've been with for some time (safe to say some years). Your second paragraph would be more applicable. However, I also think that just chasing that high constantly doesn't work out in the long run. What are we defining as "boring" here? Can we say an effort has been made to rectify that situation? Just to put all that weight on one individual seems insincere in complaining about relationship woes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:20 PM
1

I assume this is a resurgence of YOLO mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:06 PM
1

Yep. People want excitement in their lives to put a twist to their regular daily lives of work and commute. The reason people seek media as escapism. Also the reason people are so drawn to travel.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 07:24 PM
1

Humans are social creatures, and the overwhelming majority of humans live in a society of some kind. We do for ourselves (primarily survival) and for others. Like other animals, we do what we can to succeed in the mating process. Unlike other animals, we told ourselves what we do for the mating process is wrong, and must be changed. More confusing, are the mixed signals stating the old ways are still effective and successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 05:50 PM
5

It's one of those cases where many men were making similar statements where being emotionally open was damaging to a relationship. I could say it's just an individual that is toxic, but with many different individuals this is happening to in different areas, there was likely a bit of truth to the situation beyond an exception.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 05:42 PM
1

It would be interesting to tell my partner to stop smoking, and yet just expect a cold turkey move and then do nothing to help mitigate that change. From anecdotes IRL and online, it seems that habitual activities tend to get replaced with another. If it's not smoking, it's gum chewing, for example. So I do agree that there needs to be a proper replacement to whatever negative activity there is. If it's porn, it would make sense to replace it with sex with your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 05:13 PM
1

That is what I think Red Pill discussion points to for the most part: What things individual men can do that usually improves one's chances of success. Of course, I think since we're likely dealing with men and women who aren't always socially in-tune, it's hard to determine the "wrong" move at times.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 09:59 PM
6

It's one of those cases where I think, like some card games, there's nothing you could do to best the situation. You could luck out and get a 21 hand, and the dealer has blackjack. Or in poker, where you could have nothing and you try to bluff your way through, but your opponent just naturally has a better hand than you. Sticking to poker, it's fair to either "push your luck", and make the best of a bad hand, or recognize the long shot odds and fold, hoping for a better scenario later on.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 09:36 PM
1

Never visited an all-boys or all-girls school, so I don't know if that experience you had is the norm (amongst single-gender schools) or not. Within the school it makes sense everything is all-girls, but between schools I can see the two mixing. So I guess it's not just me that doesn't see OP's case here.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 07:15 PM
1

Sharpshooting is dexterity, and would be considered physical. Same with Darts.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 07:12 PM
2

Yeah, I'm gonna have to rely on you and other women here for some examples, because I don't recall gendered competitions outside of sports either. Especially in grade school, where you see more unisex competitions.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 03:59 PM
2

Umm, maybe I'm a bit lost here, but unless it's a physical sport, competitions are unisex. Unless you're looking at competitions sponsored by a single-gender organization (say, Boys' Scouts from years ago, and Girls' Scouts), where it makes sense the competitors would mainly be of one gender. However, for a case to disagree, even brain development for children start to differ as they enter puberty, so even a factor like "brain power" can be considered gendered.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 03:57 PM
1

Best I can say is that some folks do change their mind over time. If both parties are into each other to consider hooking up, they can consider each other a potential partner in the long run. I don't necessarily think every long-married couple fully came in with the mindset of staying together from the first moment. After all, if either party is free to back out at any point, there's less risk to consider starting in.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:14 AM
4

Similar line of logic as standards, since it's close enough in topic: If you can't find someone that meets your standards, widen your search range or keep looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:58 AM
6

And that implies the ugly women will somehow lust for any man. Which, given experiences stated on Reddit and elsewhere, doesn't track well.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:57 AM
6

Put another way, socializing and being flirtatious/romantic are two distinct skillsets. You can be a dude who can talk all day with any woman, but that doesn't mean you're someone who can be romantic or flirty.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:54 AM
1

Morally, you could say the "right thing" was done by being upfront about wanting to keep things casual. However, it is possible that some who may ultimately be fine with casual gets an "ick" from someone who is upfront about it. Granted, it really comes down to if that matters to you personally. It's no crime to not be upfront with what you want in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:53 AM
1

My assumption is that women believe men online speak on the same topics IRL with other women they'd consider dating, and that the discussions alone are why they are cockblocked. Of course, I'm not sure even the worst here have these same discussions with people they know IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:48 AM
2

They got a binary view. Same mindset as wanting the death penalty for murderers and rapists and jaywalkers and loiterers.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 05:26 PM
1

Dependent on your location, imo. If you're dating in a big city where most folks use public transportation, quite unlikely you'd be judged for not driving. But ultimately, car is also used as a status symbol of wealth, so a car that looks new and shiny (or a known luxury brand) would aid in dating over something cheap.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 05:04 PM
2

Lip fillers and stuff...yeah it's somewhat interesting that outside of a niche aesthetic that I'd only find in porn, I personally haven't heard of men or media really push for that in particular.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 09:15 PM
1

I suppose, but I think it's just that many women look just fine without having to engage in makeup or plastic surgery. How I've heard it said in the past in reference to makeup, it should enhance your features, not overtake it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 09:11 PM
3

He never said that hat implication of learning to be happy when you are alone is to avoid relationships and live like a hermit. This is something that you completely made up in your head and bears no basis in reality. You know what an implication is, correct? A conclusion drawn from what's said, despite it not being stated explicitly. As for basis in reality, given some of the discourse here on this sub, I'd say it's certainly what some individuals would believe. As for your analogy, it's incorr…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 09:08 PM
4

You would never guess it, but it is very counterintuitive. His solution is to actually learn how to be HAPPY alone, because if you are unhappy/afraid of being alone, you will be needy and you will always force others to reject you. Isn’t this an interesting concept? I suppose if you never thought of it before. However, the implication is to not pursue a relationship and be a hermit. Another thing he suggest is to practice getting rejected. You heard this right! Actually walking up to people and …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 07:09 PM
9

I always felt that was the issue here; it's an expectation that family/friends/pets replaces having a romantic partner in its entirety. I feel like there's greater implications with statements like that, but overall lack of social connection is shown to be damaging.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:25 PM
2

It's possible you may be correct that statistically the majority of women in any given region does not engage in such behavior. However, as a blanket statement, can you really say that confidently with no proof? It goes back to my previous comment, just to a lesser degree; have you met the majority of women in your area, if not the country? Can you confidently speak on behalf of the majority of women? We've gone from "women aren't a monolith" to "women mostly are a monolith".
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:03 PM
2

Perspective, success in this scenario is whatever both parties agreed to, the problem presented by OP is the complaint of one party being disingenuous and complaining for lack of communication to reach their perceived success(sex).. hence why this exists.. kinda meta. Depends. Some could solely view success as acquiring what they want in a situation. Whether that's through mutual agreement or subterfuge, so be it. I suppose the only problem then here is complaining about failure, as OP states.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 06:10 PM
1

Then ultimately, what "should" be done only matters if it immediately translates to success, morals be damned. Stretch that line, legality be damned.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 05:47 PM
0

Eh. Anybody and everybody wants to be validated. Having that validation from women I'd argue more rewarding for men, given that validation makes other women (who are open to having sex with the man) open to doing so. But also, nobody wants to be paired with anything negative. Women would prefer to be validated as beautiful over ugly, and it counts more when the gender she's attracted to (men, if assumed straight) validate her as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 05:44 PM
3

Isn't that a bit of a issue? If both sides are switching their narrative and arguments for whatever benefits them most at the moment, neither hold a moral leg to stand on, even when calling the other side out on doing the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 05:39 PM
3

Agree to disagree, I suppose; You as a person don't drastically shift who you are depending on who you're with. It's odd to see someone who's personality generally be so fluid such that they're completely different with every other person and every other time of day.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 05:32 PM
6

Simple truth is no 2 relationships are the same, and when you want to fuck someone the first time isn’t the same - whether the reason is weeding someone out due to your own hesitancy to trust or you simply aren’t feeling the person, but think they could grow on you, it truly doesn’t matter if they fucked your on the 5th vs someone else on the 1st Sure, but the common factor of all relationships an individual has is the individual themself. One's mindset, personal philosophy, ethos, etc doesn't c…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 04:15 PM
4

To add to that, given even for some women sometimes they're focused solely on having sex, being able to get sex is the priority. If a choice was given, I'd think most men would prefer to be called a fuckboy over an incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 04:06 PM
2

The strawman OP put up seems to be a case of inconsistency (man notices woman has sex with other men 1-2 dates on, makes him wait multiple dates/months). If you're consistent about wanting to wait such a time period, then OP's strawman wouldn't even exist. Hell, I'd go so far as to say if every woman were as consistent as you claim you are, OP's strawman wouldn't exist, because they all would know the courting period would take time.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 04:04 PM
3

Very easy to talk shit online, that is true. Many would sing a different tune having the same conversations IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 03:59 PM
9

Problem with that logic is that you couldn't possibly have met every woman in your local area (say, the city if you're in one or every local town within 50 miles/kilometers of your if you're not). If you can agree that women aren't a monolith, then you'd see the flaw in your thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 03:57 PM
3

For sure, and please don't take my disagreement as a judgement on the way you do things.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:07 PM
4

Even if true that nobody thinks about it because it's normalized, that doesn't negate that the effects of what is normalized effects people. Good point. We can look at different social structures or toxic home situations and realized what is considered normalized for some can be quite detrimental.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:02 PM
4

I disagree; While I have fully paid for dates in the past, I see putting into a date, or at least the intention of paying a part of the cost, as being more active and wanting to be there. For social functions, unless my friends explicitly state they're short on funds, we split. For family, more leniency.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 10:01 PM
6

Honestly, "everyone does it" sounds like a roundabout way of dismissing it when it comes their way.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 09:40 PM
2

As I've heard it elsewhere, "the girlfriend experience". Seen enough content about sugar babies and escort services, so I get you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 07:33 PM
2

I understand your viewpoint on this. My point simply is that ultimately it's on the individual to do so, support or no. It helps, but it's not needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 07:31 PM
1

That may be true, but that doesn't overlook that ultimately it is still your responsibility to do, partner or no. If maintaining your health is vital, you don't get a pass because your partner isn't joining you to the gym, or ate out while you make a healthy meal. All that to say "yes, but still".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:21 PM
5

On a petty note: Prostitutes can enjoy their job/being with a particular client, but also realize they're getting paid to have sex. Johns can enjoy being with a particular prostitute, but also realize he's paying to have sex. All in all, prostitution in a good work environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:16 PM
1

It's a incentive, but not needed. If my lover is greatly overweight/obese, I'd insist they would lose weight. Ultimately, they'd have to care enough to do it themselves. I can provide support, but they need to try on their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 04:21 PM
3

Eh. I don't know if there's data on this really, so it's more wishful thinking than anything else imo. I've had a similar conversation in the past with someone else here, and my point remains that morality doesn't exactly contribute to good results: Being good at sex doesn't require you to be a good person, and enough folks have stuck around a toxic relationship solely for good sex. While being good can contribute to being likable, I wouldn't list it as a major contributor (especially if one is …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 04:13 PM
6

That still implies you personally have a moral code that you wish to uphold, and that in being rotten you dislike what you see in yourself. Enough folks lack that who can do horrid things, love their reflection, and sleep soundly.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 03:45 PM
6

Funny thing about the Streisand effect, especially in regards to Reddit posts, is that "sort by controversial" is also a mode of mentality people have when they don't trust the mainstream, or just wants to read all comments. It makes also the hidden comments more interesting when they're the ones that are hidden, with 10+ replies to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 03:43 PM
7

It's always frustrating when I see arguments from men either speak in generalities (which at least avoids the "all women are like that" pitfall) or their own anecdotes, and a woman responds with "Nuh uh, not me", as if that's a counter-argument. But also, more proof the downvote button is used more as a "I disagree" button than a statement on the comment's quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 03:01 PM
1

Agreed. Random anecdote: I went to a theme park with friends one time. Everybody paid for their own ticket, and spotted me gas money (I drove everyone). Imagine being the one to invite your friend group to a theme park, and then also pay for their tickets. That shit is insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 05:19 AM
6

"Having boundaries" is fine, but not when it means that one's boundaries are so strict that they can't take into account the different perspectives of other people and then adapt somewhat to those perspectives. Not just that, but the nuance of a current situation that would require adjusting of boundaries. After all, the world isn't black and white.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 05:05 AM
4

Sure, there's far more people dating around than marriages that stick, but to leap to the conclusion like OP has that such relationships are wrong in some way is a bit much.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 05:03 AM
3

If the issue was genuinely solely about sex, we'd have prostitution legalized and prescribed with therapy. I think enough people understand that the issue many men face isn't rooted solely in a lack of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 10:14 PM
1

From my perspective, the women I've gone on dates with were perfectly fine going 50/50 in some form (either split the bill there and then, or I pay for one date and she pays for another). Some of the culture shift puts that onus on women not wanting to feel obligated for something, and men not to be taken advantage of. Going 50/50 prevents that. I've also paid fully for dates, and I have seen entitlement from a few of those that I have done so before. For that, it makes those dates annoying. I'v…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/24 10:12 PM
2

I don't exactly know how this "intelligence" looks like. If it's supposed to mean "emotional intelligence", even that is questionable as to how to qualify that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 05:42 PM
4

Problems compounded by shifting cultures which makes approaching them different. If not more complex, then at the very least different enough such that prior advice isn't as applicable as it was before. We can generalize enough if we zoom out enough to label the issues in the abstract, but it makes us miss the conditions that these issues reside in, and made prescribing solutions more a negative than a positive. Basically, it's like saying in the utmost abstract, depression is about being sad, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 05:33 PM
6

I don't think the general populace makes a distinction between each wave of feminism. They just label it as feminism and leave it there.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 05:24 PM
6

Given the conversation, it either means that women who end up pumped and dumped either wanted it and lie about not wanting it, or failed in their intuition.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 05:23 PM
4

It makes sense that it is important, but it seems to assume that the priority is to pump and dump. I'd say that's not so, at least not in significant enough numbers to say the overwhelming majority of red pill folks adhere to that mentality. However, I do think that regardless of the end goal, "getting your foot in the door" is still the critical first step. Nothing else matters if this step is failed, because the rest won't be accomplished.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 05:20 PM
3

I suppose the issue is that those rates of meeting your potential partner is more and more based over online (dating apps) than it has been in the past. At least, that's according to this handy chart video, references listed: https://np.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/1g0bgzd/how_couples_met_trend_from_1930_to_2024/ While the process is the same, how folks meet have switched.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 05:17 PM
2

Reminds me of the African Shao Khan meme: "I don't want peace. I want problems, always."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 04:53 PM
2

Hard to think differently when one is forced to play a role and is dissuaded for outright being different. Easier to swap when you're applauded for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 04:52 PM
3

I think the main point to it is the first, in my opinion: Is it really talking about a proper balanced fitness and nutrition program, or is it just a roundabout way of having a camera focused on their ass while doing squats and kickbacks? I know in the past folks like Joey Swoll would point out women who have women falsely accuse men of leering at them for committing the crime of glancing in their general direction while on camera or worse, walking in front of the camera. No, I don't think it's …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/24 08:42 PM
1

I'm not sure RP would even endorse the idea of trolling. Especially since the practical end of that ideology would be to become more successful at dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 05:49 PM
2

You can make fun of whoever you want, absolutely. Most bullies tend to have a preferred "target" demographic, and yeah, awkward, insecure, weak, stupid, isolated, poorly socialized and otherwise "weird" people tend to be a favored target for bullies, because no one bothers to defend them. But it doesn't change the fact that the motive is to do harm to someone for entertainment, which I personally am opposed to. I think it's more annoying when such folks moralize their actions, as if they're the …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 05:45 PM
3

The issue I think is that if true, the mindset is still ridiculous. We can accept the backstory is true. However, that leads to OP's handling of the situation silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 05:39 PM
3

i think female advice on how to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship once you're already with someone is good but when it comes to attracting women to begin with, it's a different story a lot of the time and that includes LTRs as well as short-term arrangements. This is a fault I see often with criticism of red pill or manosphere; some folks don't realize that the dating phase and maintaining the relationship are two different things, and require two different mindsets, and not all skills …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 03:42 PM
3

If people are seeking advice, they're looking for things they haven't done that will aid in their success. Why would people ask about things they already know? People know already to dress well for the job interview to get the job. People know already to show up on time for the job interview to get the job. That's why mentioning those things is useless.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 03:24 PM
2

My point still is this has been a conversation that has been done constantly here, and done enough times you can figure out the stances which group will take based on prior discussions about body count. Your personal stance on bodycount in this instance is irrelevant because we're talking about Red Pill, and the observation of others' opinion on the topic (I do respect your stance, but I try to stay on point here). Those who simply desire to have a bunch of casual sex isn't worried about the bod…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 05:24 PM
3

I meant more that woman can easily get a sperm doner, birth a child, have a supporting network of other women to help care take, and breastfeed the child. I suppose, but how many women (as a percentage) of the population actually want to go that route instead of having a husband and going the standard route of having a child? As you've said, it's possible for a man to not have a wife and still get a child. But how many men actually want to go that route? All I can tell you with certainty is that…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 04:07 PM
2

Same way that a good basketball coach can teach someone how to dribble or shoot, but someone who isn't constantly working out or isn't already athletic coming in will still struggle in games.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 04:02 PM
2

Instead, TRP should be focusing on slut shaming and anti-casual sex messaging if they want average women to “behave” and start dating average men while they are still young. How many discussions here existed in regards to body count? How many times have people in this sub here have defended body count, or declare it "doesn't matter"? Since I recognize your name here, I think it's fair to say you are aware those on the RP side speak negatively on high body counts. Even those men who do desire to …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 04:00 PM
3

Pretty much it. Same reason why talks about "role models" and such ends up in a tough spot for some.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:47 PM
6

They forget that they need a wife to have a family, much more than a woman needs husband. Eh, the need on both ends is about the same. If you don't want to get with guys telling you your youth is the best time for you in regards to dating, that's your prerogative. However, if you are trying to get a husband yourself (and have kids), it would help you to start early to search in earnest.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:46 PM
5

I do agree that those who misrepresent TRP for their own financial benefit can do a damage to young people but where were the parents of those young people to teach them about adulthood first. What lessons are you expecting parents to teach young people about adulthood? Personally, dating wasn't mentioned much if at all. Getting a good job was, however. Building independence was, among others. However, those lessons don't aid in socialization.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:40 PM
7

I'd think the apps would also be more effective for people if socialization was high.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:37 PM
–

Which is why I'm cautious with "jokes" online. Sometimes, the one telling the joke ain't laughing about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 03:17 PM
1

So the question those groups would have, is how do you separate those who are grouped under the same banner you are, but hold different beliefs? Think the "feminazi" types that are absolutely about misandry, but label themselves as feminists. You can keep yourself grouped with them and alienate others, try to force them out, or bring like-minded folks under a new banner. Because ultimately, if those who are under the same banner you are, hold philosophies that are considered toxic, you'll be lab…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 04:25 AM
–

It's like when a comedian makes an offensive joke. When it doesn't affect you or your group, then "it's just jokes". It gets more serious when it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 01:02 AM
1

Isn't it normal and good for opinions to evolve over time? And we're talking about generations here. Partly. What's good for an individual isn't so much for a group. I see "feminism" and "progressives" have the same issue, where two factions, two time periods, two schools of thought under the same banner get confused for one another, and critics of one subsection are pointing to the whole thing. Sure, it could be argued they're looking at the wrong group, but to the general public they'd see the…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 12:53 AM
4

I've always felt the best way to describe Red Pill was both a philosophy and social theory, and the moral integrity of it was basically in the eye of the beholder.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 09:25 PM
5

You deny my personal experience, and question about reality? Interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 09:41 PM
4

Potential clients? No. Actual clients? Yes. There's a difference between saying an actual client (regardless of age) and a potential client.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 09:17 PM
4

Like how a sales person treats a client they are wooing. Treat...how? I've worked alongside sales folks before. It's usually the clients they already have that they treat well. Potential clients they might make a good showing for, but they're not going the full monte for potential clients compared to clients they have. As for dating, imo both sides need to show interest. If you don't want to date someone anymore you can just tell them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 08:13 PM
–

Honestly, whatever works for you. If you are already successful enough that you do not have to pursue any and every woman coming your way, you can allow yourself to be particular. As for boring...well, life is boring. Most folks aren't going to have interesting lives, and aren't going to show great enthusiasm at everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:58 PM
1

At the same time though, people aren’t owed relationships — and they can have whatever preferences they like, even for immutable characteristics. Which makes dating all the more difficult. Relationships are hard. To that first point, people aren't "owed" anything, even life. We devolve into who is owed what and we're digging beneath the ground on how people treat each other. Secondly, yes, I agree. However, this still dances around my point, that we're placing all the responsibility on an indivi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 05:16 PM
2

I suppose the idea is that in this case, to those who are struggling in dating they see that the most critical factors of success (which is, attraction from the opposite sex) is outside of their control. Waking up on time and getting to class/work is fully in one's control (I didn't specify getting there on time, because outside factors can influence one's commute), so it's reasonable to expect people to manage actions they have full agency over. But when it comes to things that's not fully in o…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:47 PM
2

I suppose, but it's usually easier financially to accumulate resources and share financial burdens as a group over handling everything solo. Isn't that a benefit of taxes? The money you pay the government to keep the streetlights on at night (even if just the few in front of your door) is far cheaper than having to support that cost yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 04:39 PM
1

Men fail because they think they can tick a bunch of boxes and then they're attractive. Well...kinda. If being attractive falls into categories they have agency over, it makes sense to believe that adjusting those things correctly would make them so. Of course, when mixed with talk about both genders being equal (which has been done before in the past here at least), they'd look at their opposite-sex counterpart who they see and believe don't apply an equal amount of work on themselves and get s…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 10:35 PM
1

If they want a solution that works then they need to walk away from the RP. Sure. Just tell them what to look at as an alternative. Cause it’s been long enough to be able to see that it’s lack of success speaks for itself Hard to claim that. I know enough folks that are successful, that upon asking tell me they've never heard of the manosphere, and still repeat similar points they do. The ideology doesn't have a patent on it, and enough people say similar things even if not phrased the exact sam…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 10:13 PM
1

The people that go for RP are looking for easy answered for what they want cause they want “the secret” Minor disagreement. I see it as people want a solution that works. Something that they do, that they didn't do before, that gets them better results than before. Maybe, like the book of the same name, all that's needed was a change in mindset. Either way, it's not a shortcut or a cheat code desired, just a solution. As for its origins, the only way you're making anybody believe RP is irrelevan…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 09:35 PM
0

And now we're back to OP's question. People go towards these red pill folks because they don't have those mentors or anybody like that irl to follow. So who are they supposed to receive guidance from at a time when they're looking for it? Telling these guys "figure it out yourself" ain't working, and generally is just a bad response when people are asking for help. So telling them to connect with someone is a bit ridiculous given what I said earlier (people search online when irl is unavailable)…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 08:39 PM
6

You have to understand that even leaders get instruction on how to lead. Some level of direction that steers one towards success is expected. Whether that's talking about business, education, health, and yes, dating and relationships. When following advice doesn't lead to success, one can only follow intuition unsuccessfully until they're completely lost.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 07:34 PM
4

That would be the same for me. And of course, "just be yourself" being told to kids/teens who were not focused on exercise/money/success/stoic masculinity and presuming they'll get that's what's expected is just a recipe for failure.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 07:30 PM
8

It's funny just how much this mirrors the election. A lot of RP figures and grifters may be completely full of shit, but they are the ones reaching out to young impressionable boys and men and giving them an alternative besides calling them toxic problematic future rapists. It's been a constant question that I don't ever see properly answered when asked who to replace the RP guys. Usually a variation of "Idk, not my problem" or "Just touch grass" when asked who should young men look at as an exa…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 07:18 PM
5

Sure, but that's where we are and why some of these conversations run in circles. Telling people to just touch grass and talk to others present in their life comes with the implication that the solution is out there somewhere. There's a good chunk of guys who don't find solutions touching grass, and they don't have people they know that can help. Which is why they rely on online spaces for assistance.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 07:12 PM
3

True, but what are we taking as proof you have guys successfully sleeping around? The detail in how they recall their adventures? Some type of "trophy" they show off? Or the amount of explicit photos and videos they keep on their devices?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/24 07:09 PM
–

I won't point straight to feminism, but I will say that Democrats still failed in messaging correctly (somehow, despite all these years), while still having good policy here and there.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 07:57 PM
–

Eh. How I see it, the multiple schools of feminism means people generally take any one group of feminism as all of feminism. So when the extremists showed up, the rest of the feminists weren't trying to push that away or denounce them. I don't think all aspects are toxic, but it's hard to keep the good away from the bad at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 07:54 PM
–

I was thinking Harris was sus, honestly. People were talking about how she was someone people were voting for, yet what I've seen was the opposite. I didn't see that personality shift soon enough in great enough force.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 07:51 PM
–

This time or last time? I haven't checked the stats yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 07:49 PM
4

I don't think it has to be zero sum with the advice; you can provide effective advice for men to be more attractive in the dating market without dooming women to be victims of abuse or crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 06:23 PM
–

Here's the thing when you mention "immediately die": The only thing that would kill you if you where fully deprived of it in short order is air. You can starve for days and still live, and you can at least go 24 hours under harsher conditions without water. This means you can technically stay alive on little, but that ensures a very bad quality of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 03:51 PM
3

Some, for the sake of argument want to treat "need" as "your life will immediately cease to exist without this", which leaves a limited amount of things that fill this definition. However, the more tolerable definition would be "critical for maintaining quality of life", which allows for things like even the internet to be allowed as a need.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 11:55 PM
1

I think of it like this: I think people would commonly accept that good health is a need, in such that if someone is ill or injured, we would do what we can to help alleviate symptoms, or cure the person entirely. Speaking on health, mental health would also be a need, and we speak more on the end of sympathy when someone is afflicted by a mental condition, such as suicidal inclinations, high anxiety, schizophrenia, etc. We would do what we can to ensure someone can be rid of negative affliction…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 05:07 PM
-1

I think ultimately a relationship requires the ability to work efficiently as part of a team. When you act the role of "independent" too much, you lack some of those skills on how to work as a efficient team member. Tradwife would be more attuned to working as part of that team, but less so independently, and modern is the opposite, based on what OP listed as each category. The ideal is a bit of both, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 03:50 PM
2

Hard to talk about dating and relationships as a heterosexual man without mentioning women, imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 03:47 PM
-1

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't necessarily think one needs to completely forego work or a career to be a tradwife, especially in an age where WFH positions are possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 03:45 PM
2

I'd take it as a compliment, someone that is indirectly saying they're attracted to me by approaching first. But like any of my dates, I treat them as a person. I'd give dating a shot, and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 06:09 PM
0

I respect it, but it has to be recognized why some men see value in being able to frequently have casual sex with many women, compared to the alternative. We can say it's mostly idealized by virgins or those who has only had one or two partners, but we're not going have guys who have slept around have "fucker's remorse" giving value to the virgins and those with limited partners. As for the preference of quality over quantity, that's ultimately subjective. Some folks are dedicated to trying ever…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 06:26 PM
0

I'm not shaming them I just know it's not really fulfilling... The question you have to ask yourself is whether you're saying that it's not really fulfilling for you, or as a whole. If we're to say we should all do what benefits or pleases us the most, then it's hard to disagree when some folks decide to rack up their n-count, because that's what they most desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:23 PM
–

What I guess needs to be understood is that part of science is observing and trying to understand the world around us, something that still hasn't been done (otherwise every medical condition would be fully understood with preventatives and/or cures available). I think what's also looked into is that a number of men are just failing in the dating market, and part of their solution process to be successful is to acquire a better understanding of women. Difficult to be sure, especially given some …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 03:59 PM
1

Eh. A lot of this conflict in mindset is that it's socially acceptable to just say "I'll do what I want". If a guy just wants to have sex with a bunch of different women, it doesn't do much to disagree or attempt to shame them for it. Same deal with women who just wants to have sex with a bunch of different men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 02:58 PM
3

And while you may be a straight-up net positive.... some women just aren't interested in dating at all. Full stop. And that would be fine, if women just stated this. Personally, from those that have mentioned it, the reasons weren't simply a disinterest in dating, but lack of "good men" to be with. It's quite possible your friends say what you do, but then we're at a crossroads, where either we both concede that a significant number of women (if not the majority) have expectations too high for m…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:49 PM
2

I think the issue is a mix; We tell folks to do things for themselves. Which means someone finds great value in just doing these things. There's folks that actively dislike grooming, as an example. They see no value in it. Then there's the benefit of being more attractive. I guess the question ends up being "how much is enough?" And if said "self-improvement" that they dislike is required to be deemed attractive, it's a balancing act. Too much may end in success, but is disliked and undesired by…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:43 PM
1

I don't see how weight and height aren't part of looks... They are, but they're in the two separate groups for a reason: Weight is acquired and can be managed, and height cannot. ...but I also don't dissect people's appearance too much when rating whether they're attractive. They're either hot, or not. Not sure then how you'd determine attractiveness. What factors do you use to say whether someone is "hot" or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 02:47 PM
2

I recall a clip of him referring to it before. But, the truth is folks are motivated by what they want to get. If any guy just wants to get women, they don't need to do much more if they're able to get attention easily without effort. Same idea with women; if they're focused on getting a man, being able to attract men easily means self-improvement won't be much of a focus. But ultimately, what is the ideal isn't always what matches reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:54 PM
1

Sure, we can say "all is shit", but if we're to be honest in discussion, it helps to identify the issues that exist, the common ones, and the unique ones on either side. If we're also to discuss potential solutions, we have to acknowledge that the exact solution will likely look different between men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:19 PM
0

Honestly I'd be confused. Enough crazy folks out there that I wouldn't take it serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:19 AM
0

If someone wants to rant about it, they're free to do so. I'm not going to treat it with the same severity as murder, but a valid inconvenience is still valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:19 AM
9

While I lack the sentiment that you do, I always felt at the very least, sharing financial resources (especially of two adults with good income) is beneficial. Cheaper to share an apartment and split living costs than live separately in two apartments, for example. One Netflix subscription over two.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 03:14 AM
2

Not so. Even if you prioritize particular values yourself, if one side on average can be viewed as acquiring particular results (in this case, attraction from potential partners) far more frequently, being in that group can be seen as privilege. Looking at a niche subgroups doesn't eliminate that privilege from the group as a whole. It's like saying there's one high school dropout from a rich family, and thus privilege doesn't exist. That line of thinking is foolish.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:46 AM
6

Depends what you value more. What I value and what you value likely aren't 100% the same thing, in the same amount.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:51 AM
1

And any one man might do that, or might not. You don't have the power to change one's intentions. The best you can do is enforce your standards to limit exposure to such kinds of partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:50 AM
11

There is something shameful about that, but the question still ends up how many tales are we hearing of the genders reversed? I know it sounds wrong to say "this particular woman's only value is for sex and nothing else", but the flipside are men who don't even get that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:46 AM
7

That's pretty much it. If we're talking conventionally unattractive women, then in my mind the comparison is conventionally unattractive men, and the ultimate question of who gets more attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:43 AM
1

I can't make a claim either way; I don't tour subs focused on sex work, and the primary complaints I see on this sub do not focus on prices of sex workers. Given direct sex work is mostly illegal at least in the US, and the perception of OF, cam girls, and porn stars, I'd agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 05:27 PM
1

In terms of prices? Not sure I'd be able to find a data source on that; not like people were openly advertising their rates prior to legalization in any country. I could only think of a logical track of reasoning for prices: Lack of legalization limits supply (amount of sex workers), which would raise prices. Legalizing would increase supply, and thus would lower prices. In theory. This definitely doesn't speak towards women's desire towards men or sex work in itself. But, I presume enough folks…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 02:12 PM
1

At least in the US, prostitution is outright illegal (with the exception of one area). I'm not sure how it's formally handled in other countries. I think the legality of prostitution affects prices more. More women would be out in the open offering sex if they knew they wouldn't get arrested. And of course, this is outside of the discussion of the morality of it. Just trying to think of the economics.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 01:57 PM
1

I assume the benefit, given the OP, is that it pays above the Walmart rate at such an amount it justifies the work put in. But the second part of your comment I think goes between the idea of what you (general you, not you specifically) like less. Some folks might see it as an advantage that being able to earn well through porn shows there's marketable qualities about yourself, compared to not being able to do so, and you're stuck stocking shelves.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 08:07 PM
3

Given the issues listed earlier, I'd think adding the qualification of attractiveness would hurt an already underwhelming list of viable actors. If you can get a guy who can do the job properly, but he looks like Ron Jeremy, it's better than looking for someone else that may or may not be able to do the job.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 08:01 PM
0

How I see it, if women want their men to be masculine, they'd need to provide the opportunity for them to be. Personally, I just need my partner to complement me in personality. That doesn't mean completely submissive and agreeable, as I don't think those are the dominant traits in femininity.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 05:14 PM
1

Another dude said this, but if we're talking about this hypothetical happening right now, I'd only be focused on finding an LTR, so one person. If I grew up like that, hard to say. It is possible I'd be numb to the attention and wouldn't sleep around (assuming I kept the same interests), or I'd be having a male ho-phase.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 05:10 PM
1

I agree with you on that. I have seen some women on the apps as well put only group pics before, which isn't helpful. Should be a guideline in place to tell folks not to do that...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:39 PM
0

There's a big difference between saying "Most relationship start online as in getting their Insta from a mutual friend, then starting to get to know each other there." and "The vast majority of relationships start with some kind of second degree of separation." That's a double-kind of "citation needed". Current data off a basic google search says half of singles under 30 use dating apps, which already puts your second point into question. As for your first, again, given the current data I'm seei…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:20 PM
3

Someone else mentioned it's seen as a good thing to have multiple people in a photo, as "proof you have friends". Is it actually a negative for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:16 PM
6

Eh. I think the cookie cutter extrovert position might be just what's attractive, honestly. Although, and this is just a personal bit with me and dating app pics, I'm not caring if you have friends in your pic, if I'm focused on you. Might help to emphasize some regular activities that are mentioned on your profile (say, playing sports or some DND campaign), but otherwise it's just visual data that's gonna be filtered out anyway. That's my 2-cent rant on group pics in dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:14 PM
2

Sure, but AFAIK the majority of folks who do match up online are doing so from the dating apps (or at least starting there and moving to other apps like Snapchat, Insta, etc). Now, if it is true that the majority of online relationships are initiated off not-dating apps like Insta or Snapchat, then the current data doesn't reflect that. Although it could be said that would apply for those who already knew each other offline, like in school.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:07 PM
3

That's pretty much the case, imo. Hell, I even agree that having a double standard is fine for self, as long as you're honest about it. However, like all other standards discussions, if it doesn't work out the way you want it to, you're stuck either waiting for someone to meet those standards, or you change up your own. Just know I'm saying that in general, not to you in particular.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 08:30 PM
-2

Honestly been the sticking point of my frustration with that question. Even if you lack trust in both the man and bear, you have a better chance surviving the man in a hostile conflict, either through escape or a fight. If you do have trust, the man is ultimately more useful for cooperation. A bear just won't hurt you. And for neutral, both bear and man leave you alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 05:46 AM
-1

AFAIK, you agree with her or you're an "asshole".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 05:34 AM
4

I get anybody wanting to protect themselves from potential harm, but to me it sounds like perpetual paranoia your partner will do you harm. IMO, at least with a paternity test all suspicions die off the moment the test is taken.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 12:37 AM
–

I'd figure as mainstream as Star Wars is, people understand that it's nerdy to an extent, and they're fine with it. And for folks like yourself that's still there, they don't need it to turn into some romance story or some days of our lives soap opera to be more into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 04:51 PM
–

Was the option available for big titty gf, or was the student body flat?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 04:49 PM
1

Maybe it's me, and my apologies if I'm overstepping in my assumptions, but don't we already advise people about bad and/or risky actions? Military enlistment aside (at least in the US as that also serves as employment with its own benefits), there already exists marketing on being responsible (either with driving, financial, consuming alcohol, etc), as well as legal barriers in place to protect people from joining in on stuff if they're too young. As for raising age limits, it doesn't seem neede…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 04:47 PM
2

That's on me. Didn't see the joke. My bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 02:52 PM
2

Again, if the treatment is the same (big if, but that's the point of the hypothetical), then it honestly wouldn't matter if picked or settled for. "Women not a monolith" and all that, I'll have to go under the assumption there is one woman that treat both settled for and picked the same. Despite saying that, I do agree with your choice and reasoning.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 02:51 PM
1

At times it seems like their opinion is subject to change depending on who they're arguing against.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 02:46 PM
2

Legally adult != mature person Given OP here states the age of 25, would you consider that age to be mature? And if being "mature" is independent of age, then how would you define it, when one can undergo risky and harmful actions by themselves under 25 (enter the military, smoke, drink, etc)?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 02:45 PM
3

Teaching kids that sex work was unacceptable, given queen_bw's words here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 02:37 PM
4

Ultimately, I think guys would accept either if the relationship was fully treated with respect. If a woman could treat a man the same way regardless of whether he was picked or settled for, then it's fine. But, it seems that's not the case, and thus being picked is better than settled for.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 02:33 PM
–

For example, you and I and probably most people can agree that maybe murder is the worst of the crimes. Doesn't change that it happens and there are even cases of like minded people banding together such as gangs. I'm not getting the connection here. Yes, crime is illegal and is considered a bad thing. Also yes, people (as a whole) still commit crime. Unless we're connecting a lack of authenticity to crime, I don't get it. Also when you take it into your own personal level perspective, can you h…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 08:31 PM
5

I'm telling you how society views it. ...in your opinion. Which is fine if that doesn't work for you, but let's please not make another lap around this.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 03:31 PM
4

...Do you just ignore comments made and focus on your own points? Let me put a previous comment in: binge-drinking can be paired with thrill-seeking in this regard. Thrill-seeking is the focus here, because: ...one factor is more attractive than the opposite Whether you find a person that is not thrill-seeking attractive is not important. AFAIK, women not a monolith and all that. It's seen as more attractive, in general, to be that thrill seeker than not, with binge-drinking seen as an example o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 03:21 PM
5

...in your opinion. Whether or not your personally agree with said behavior doesn't dispute whether or not other women deem it attractive, in particular that it is attractive enough to determine it a factor in a man's success with dating or sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 03:01 PM
5

Let's just say one factor is more attractive than the opposite; binge-drinking can be paired with thrill-seeking in this regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 02:46 PM
5

And this is why I say sarcasm is hard to detect on the internet. It sounds silly, but there is a chance the dude is completely serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 02:42 PM
1

Sure, I get it, and I agree. Like I mentioned it to someone else in this post, it's a failure of communicating what is actually wanted. If a "nice guy" is what is desired, then it makes sense that people would approach with that advertised. If it's "a nice guy, and...", then it's not just a nice guy that is desired, if that's desired at all. We can blame the guy for not reading into it correctly in time, but I think that forgives the dishonesty in the lady for not saying what she's looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 02:24 PM
3

1) why should men be required to "open themselves to rejection" if they don't want to? Why shouldn't women do it? Lmao Unfortunately, current society allows women to fall back and be the recipient of approaches, so men have to engage or receive nothing. 2)If these are attractive traits, then women should approach First to rip the benefits of it. Lol. Allegedly, gender roles are being dismissed so your point stands. But, that isn't the case yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 02:05 PM
5

I think the issue now is that men find greater risk than just rejection for approaching. Whether it's a fear (justified or not) in women's minds, such actions does make it a more hostile environment to justify. If it was like applying for a job, then it would be on top of being rejected, you'd have the police called on you along with that employer calling others to blacklist you from future interviews. Would it happen all the time? No. However, it'll happen enough such that fewer applicants woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 02:02 PM
1

Hmm...on the subject of authenticity, couldn't it be said that even folks who pretend and lie are able to be successful? I'd assume if that was the most critical factor, then it would be more unlikely to see these liars or frauds be successful. As for lived experiences, sure, everyone has something different. But that's then to say everything and nothing works.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 01:53 PM
1

Since I've seen it elsewhere, it seems the sticking point to you is the specific value of being a "nice guy". Other folks see it as a "failure in marketing oneself", or some other moral flaw to claim yourself as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 01:48 PM
1

I think we're looking at it from two different lenses: It's one thing to look at the "nice guy" scenario from the viewpoint of society, and another from the lens of the dating market. It may be deemed "immoral", but ultimately it's not illegal to not be a "nice guy".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 01:46 PM
1

And there's the failure of messaging. If one wishes to say "here's the ideal path, but success isn't guaranteed either way.", it's far better than to state anything implying "being nice will make you successful in dating." Conflating being morally virtuous with dating success seems to be the basis of many discussions on this sub. Both on the men's side and women's side, with some folks who point out there's factors outside of that, which affects whether one is successful or not. And while I can …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 06:27 PM
1

Some people will eat anything but MOST people will go “what kind of food” and is it any good” If the answer to those questions affects whether they will eat there, then they failed to articulate what they actually wanted, simply put. Your example is off. It’s more like taking a girl to a bar and going “what?! You expected food?? I bet you’d let a hot guy just give you drinks!! “ When it’s 6:30 and you asked her to dinner Nah. Your point here is stupid. If I ask a girl out to dinner, meal and dri…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 06:19 PM
1

Being nice is generally a better way to be more liked. Issue it seems in this post, is that "nice" doesn't equate to being "more attractive to women" for men. Given OP's words, being the opposite of nice is more seen amongst successful men. If you want to try that then you’re always welcome to, but at the end of the day failure to connect with the opposite sex for relationships or even the same sex for friendships or vice versa, has to do with you as a person. Sure, but when advertised one aspec…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 06:10 PM
1

And then there's people who say they'll eat anything. So on paper, "we serve food" is enough. That's the disconnect: People advertise one thing, then behave differently when that's presented. It's on the customer for stating "they'll eat anything" and deciding they don't want a BLT from a diner actually, and instead wants lobster. If you want specific kinds of food, or if you want good food, that's what you should be asking for directly. That's not even adding the nuance of "good" is subjective,…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 06:04 PM
5

Emulate is just another word for posing. And posers don’t last long before people spot them. Citation needed. Enough "posers" exist that benefit from doing so before being spotted, if spotted at all. Then there's those who receive no severe consequence for being spotted. Again, if it works for some, it's not a surprise others try it. "Keeping it real" is only beneficial as long as both that statement remains rewarded and the opposite is punished, which isn't all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 05:58 PM
1

Depends on what's advertised. We can assume delusions of grandeur or assume there's a difference between what's stated and what the reality of the situation. If that disconnect didn't exist, this post/discussion wouldn't either. For the former...well, your comment would still exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 04:55 PM
13

Eh. People are motivated to act a certain way if it works. If being an asshole works, people will emulate that behavior to achieve results. It's only cringe if it fails.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 04:50 PM
14

The theory is that guys and gals should just "naturally be" these desired traits, without having to fake it. Anybody that has to put on any degree of effort to act differently is "manipulative". Unfortunately, it comes to the point where the default personalities that's expected is "simp" or "asshole".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 04:46 PM
4

If you consider having such a trait that some women say they want "special", then sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 04:43 PM
4

It's the dishonesty of it that's annoying. I think there'd be a lot less issue if the majority of women here stated they want their man to be hot (to them), and that they figure it out after. There's so much argument on almost every aspect of dating here it makes it seem like there's an entire disconnect between the genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 03:44 PM
–

Heck, even a luxury brand like Rolls Royce counts, and IIRC it's not that high of a price. Even lambos and bughattis aren't that pricey. Hyper cars for racing, maybe.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 03:02 PM
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The perception that you're doing FAR better than those around them is what's expected, I think at times. Problem is, a couple investment accounts and a fully matched 401k doesn't look flashy. Designer clothing, exotic sports cars, and jewellery looks flashy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:54 PM
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Issue is, that some morals are more tied to laws, so it's less "be good for goodness sake" and more "be good so you don't go to jail". I think "Ethics" is where this applies more, because it allows more freedom to act badly without listed penalty.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:40 PM
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Thing is, that even some religions (say Christianity), expect a degree of "end times" for peace to come again. Less so nihilism (where absolutely nothing matters), but probably fatalism.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:38 PM
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I'd say it did a better job than what we got now.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:33 AM
–

Eh. Self-identity still gets molded around expectations of the culture they live in, because few (if any) people are just going to become a monk and live in the wilderness somewhere. If that culture says you failed in your role because you're single and sexless, it's hard to shake that. Even here, pill colors aside, there aren't many people here who I'd say treat the concept of remaining single and sexless with dignity, so imagine those who that applies to.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 09:13 PM
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It seems sex/marriage/legacy is the main way to get men at large to buy into society. Now, given religion and nationalism/tribalism has been demonized. If they can't rely on a higher power, and they can't rely on pride of their tribe, it would be sex/marriage/legacy, unless the expectation that "morals" will be the savior.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 09:09 PM
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Not sure if that's the case. Enough scenarios of people who don't have high standards, and men who simp for women, and other such acts of white knighting.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 01:48 PM
1

New level of trolling. Wanna mess with somebody with no consequence? RedditCares message is the way. Spam it with no issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 02:16 PM
1

Can someone point me any other reason to add this feature? If it's like Facebook, then storage would be on the servers itself. Auto-deleting chat messages would free up space for itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 02:14 PM
1

Maybe, if you want to try that. Don't mean they will.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 02:07 PM
1

Enemy of my enemy is just the enemy of my enemy. Don't have to play nice with them either, just don't give them a reason to focus on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 01:50 PM
1

Unfortunately, some folks are serious when they say some silliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 01:48 PM
2

That's more along the line of pensions, not 401k.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 01:46 PM
–

Bravado and "false" confidence can definitely be seen as attractive. Of course people want to see it only done in the best of scenarios, but the rate of that is far less than what people desire it to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 05:35 PM
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The general idea I think some came to the consensus of, is "You're okay if your standards get you the person you want. If it doesn't, you have to loosen your standards." Generally, I wouldn't tell anyone to adjust, but if they're not willing to wait it out, a lowering of standards is more realistic than wishing for someone that meets them to come your way.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 01:50 PM
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Eh, I've seen enough to say that both (somewhat) are true: There's natural big-dick dudes out there, and there's guys who use cock sleeves or other such things to give the perception of a big dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 01:42 PM
2

Life happens, having an emergency fund is smart Sure, for a fire, a burglary, a medical event. But chances are you'd tell your partner about it. That's not telling them "hey, just in the case you become abusive, I'm saving money to gtfo." Personally, do what you want with your money. However, I just think such a fund is just implicit admission of not trusting your partner. May as well say you always carry a gun on you with one in the chamber, even when you're alone with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 08:30 PM
2

Seems this will just end in "agree to disagree", but I'll try to stress my perspective here: There is a difference between spending on random material things and secretly saving "just in case" a relationship turns bad. The implication here was that you never trusted your partner. The love and affection wasn't really there, because there was always a suspicion that your partner will turn abusive, and that will never go away until the relationship ends. Your boyfriend buying films or whatever isn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 08:14 PM
2

The point of "escape fund", at least from OP's definition, is that this is a stash of money one's partner doesn't know about, in case the relationship turns abusive. Difference between spending money on taquitos and hiding money in case a partner turns abusive. Personally, don't know any couple in which any individual member would openly claim to have one. One is more damaging to the relationship than the other, is all I'm saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 08:02 PM
5

Depends on the scenario. I've seen "entitled" used a few times with men as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 07:54 PM
2

I should also add one more factor: paternity test needs to be done once. All suspicion ends in the maternity ward if paternity test is done there. Escape fund holds for as long as the relationship lasts. Holding that suspicion or caution over a partner I think will lead to rise of distrust in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 07:50 PM
2

Proof of this is that the number of people with girlfriends who they are having sex with is way higher than the match rate on apps. Citation please. Also, you're comparing a rate of all men on dating apps matching, to a group of men already with girlfriends having sex. A biased group if I ever seen one. Of course the people paired up are having sex more frequently on average than the single guy using apps to match and find someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 07:48 PM
2

does your partner approve of how you spend every dollar? Irrelevant to hiding a stash of funds solely for the purpose of lifelong suspicion of potential abuse. Approving or not isn't the same as hiding away funds.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 07:44 PM
1

Eh. At best, a paternity test can be excused as a potential hospital mistake ("hospital staff might accidentally give the wrong baby from the nursery") to be sure of and prevented. Hard to imagine a reasonable excuse to have a secret stash of funds your partner doesn't know about. More so if both partners already have their own bank account or stash of funds.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 08:18 PM
7

I'd say dating apps are a good indicator of this; One source here says that men have a .6% match rate on Tinder, as an example: https://www.crossrivertherapy.com/research/tinder-statistics#:~:text=Women%20on%20Tinder%20have%20a,a%20match%20rate%20of%200.6%25. Assuming this is right, lots of guys are locked out of showing their social ability because they lack the looks. Not sure how this applies to IRL studies, if there are any.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 06:04 PM
3

Hell, put in that context, many more people are flirting without knowing that's what they're doing. Granted, I'm not in the same situation as you, but that definition sounds about the same as "being friendly".
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 05:53 PM
3

Sure, but adultery and siring illegitimate children is a result of sex is different from saying he's having sex without consent of whichever woman he's having sex with, or "doing anything to get their dicks wet", by your words. I don't equate the two things.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:29 PM
4

Good for you, I suppose. Send him my regards. However, not all women with male relatives hold such fortune. In those instances, it's best for them to say what they mean, to not put themselves at odds with their own family.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:20 PM
6

Given the added detail of their personal success and condition, I'd say it's a bit more than just sex. Especially since "anything" in your comment implies acts like rape is permissible, which the OP doesn't allude to at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:16 PM
2

So you won't even wonder why she says it. Weird to say when my current, unaltered comment says: We can talk nuance, but if my daughter posts such a thing, I'd have to wonder if she applies that to her own family. So we're already on a bad start. You are her PARENT. Why not feel bad for your little baby, maybe she met some violent bad men? You as a man know how men are right? Men's intentions how men can lie and cheat and pump and dump. How men can be predatory. Since you went on a tangent withou…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:12 PM
8

This is quite possible this hypothetical is done with the assumption this is in a "Western" country (UK, US, Canada, etc). It's possible communities within other countries would view this situation quite differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 03:04 PM
9

We can talk nuance, but if my daughter posts such a thing, I'd have to wonder if she applies that to her own family. Because "all men are trash" applies to one's own family; father, brothers, uncles, cousins, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 02:54 PM
2

This was already tried with "everybody's a winner/participation trophy" narratives in the past. So I agree, society doesn't work like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 03:29 PM
–

Dumb idea to reject free time to rest, but that's me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 05:21 PM
–

Are these seniors lying about their lifts to people? Other guy has a point about context of who's doing the lift and the type of lift, so a college wrestler would likely be lifting more than a HS senior.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 05:19 PM
1

A lot? No. A good amount of acquaintances though. Some have girlfriends/wives. Yes. Yes. Not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 05:45 PM
3

Probably.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/24 05:44 PM
1

I'm not fully comfortable with his business model, which seems to be making views and money by inviting on so many academics, whom I'm sure he doesn't pay....it really rubs me the wrong way. Depending on who you say this to here, not paying his guests is actually a good thing. Either/or, I don't think that damages his reputation.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 06:18 PM
2

I listen to a number of his podcast interviews, and it seems more focused on the interviewer than his own personal views. For that reason alone, I think he's alright.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 06:05 PM
2

It seems the hole being left is the lonely man not having a girlfriend. The "self-improvement" cycle doesn't fulfill that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 05:18 PM
3

Weird to me, personally. I'm perfectly fine with T-shirts and souvenir knick-knacks on my birthday and holidays. Not what I specifically want, but many things don't fit that mold.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 08:34 PM
5

I like when my partner does what I ask because it shows he took feedback on board and understands what’s important to me. Is it submissive? To be honest I don’t know. It is strange to me the idea that someone paying attention to what you say and acting on it is deemed "submissive". Personally, it's almost like there needs to be a song and dance of reluctance before doing something, based on what was said in the OP. I do agree with you that relationships are a mix of both dominant and submissive,…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 08:25 PM
3

I think people hold that same mindset now: Early 20s, many guys are just fresh out of college, not much money to themselves, and are now out in a world where they compete with guys who have more. By their 30s, they have some money now, which they can utilize to help with how they look (gym stuff, clothes, car, etc), which makes them more attractive. Of course, if said 30 year old is socializing far less compared to the broke 20 year old, then they're not going to have much going for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 03:45 PM
6

At least those guys got it half right that effort needs to be made to get what you want (regardless on value of prayer). If those Republican boomers were blue pillers, they'd say "You should be fine living in that cramped apartment, actually."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 03:40 PM
3

I can recall similar comments in the past as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 03:37 PM
10

Also possible. Clubs use marketing tactics like "ladies night" and "ladies in free until [insert time here]", and men do use tactics like buying women drinks, so I see this. But if the mentality of women at clubs saying "I came here to dance", they'd be the ones paying their own gate, and buying their own drinks, in sufficient numbers to hold a club open.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 03:11 PM
3

Dunno how well that's been taking over the years.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 02:46 PM
–

So if nothing else, sounds like equal exchange in effort and reward for lower tier relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 02:33 PM
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Dude wants to not be bitter at women. Saying "don't be" certainly doesn't aid in that process. He already explained why he feels that way, so the implication there is that OP doesn't feel great about it. On top of that, "do something about it", when someone is already asking "how" is also unhelpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 02:27 PM
–

This sounds positive, but ultimately unhelpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 02:09 PM
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It is quite a commitment to plan that out with someone you barely know. But if you like her enough, that's on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 02:07 PM
–

Eh. Tourism is a thing, and there will be folks from other countries that just don't know the language. As for potential residents, they can learn over time. Helps to know from the jump, but assimilation can take course.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 02:06 PM
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Can't you just tell your classmate/professor that you'll be late? As for airpods, I normally don't listen to music on a commute, so I can't relate.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 02:04 PM
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That takes at least GF/"best friend" titles off the table, at least due to, what I think is your time, energy and emotional investment. Where does that leave friends and casual acquaintances? It would be less on your end, but is that just not rewarding enough?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 02:03 PM
9

Sounds like they have the same issue that men had before: Many men chased one lady, so they had to compete for the honor of putting a ring on her finger. If it's just a race to who gets to fuck her first, there's less a care on being first, as long as they get to finish (pun intended).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 02:00 PM
3

Which means the culture needs to be shifted again into that paradigm, or at least one that focuses on one man/one woman (LGBT+ notwithstanding, because fertility is less an issue on their part).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:58 PM
21

I wonder if that mentality is the reason why women-only clubs fail.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:55 PM
–

I've seen a man call himself a simp for being a good husband. So yeah, the bar has shifted pretty far.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:52 PM
–

Is the value of intimacy and companionship that low now for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:50 PM
3

Backup funds is whatever, but effectively stealing from mutual funds for this purpose ain't cool. Support circle and financial documentation is alright enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 07:33 PM
1

Hold on... If you're considering a stay at home parent position, you should at least be well trusting of the partner you're with to be able to support you financially during that time (especially if you're not working from home). If you're not, don't go that route. And if your lack of trust in being a stay at home parent is based on more than just financial responsibilities, the relationship is suspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 07:31 PM
4

As for what percentage, any amount would be pure conjecture beyond the one you gave that said even if it was a time travel or mind wipe, I would still think it would be a minority like ~30%. I'd think so. Most grow up with some sense of morality instilled by their local cultures, enough to say that doing certain things is outright wrong, and should not be done. And it would still be a minority I'd think that would truly follow through if they could commit a major crime and know they'd get away w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 03:20 AM
3

Not to speak of the cam girls and OF models, who don't go through that standard model of pornography production, yet still put themselves online in the nude.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 08:55 PM
1

Agree to disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 11:46 PM
1

And enough tales of folks who won the lottery yet ended up broke. You can be lucky, but what you do with it is what will carry you. To worship luck, or speak fate, is simply cope.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 11:41 PM
1

I think of it like this: While luck can provide the opportunity and even the backbone, it's still on one to act on it. It's not as if the lucky ones do absolutely nothing and still succeed. Best athletes in the world may have been granted opportunities through said luck, but they had to provide an active effort to reach their success. To say luck is the same as genetics cope for looks, except now the mythical Chad isn't just absurdly attractive, but also tied to five different creatures of luck.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 11:21 PM
1

I think, while luck is quite a factor, I don't think it overtakes other factors (looks, social skills, etc). And since luck isn't much of a tangible factor one can genuinely influence, it's hard sometimes to note luck when it stares you in the face, especially in dating discourse when other factors exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 05:53 PM
1

To speak on it more, did those guys have prostitutes offered to them by their parents, or did they go about finding one themselves?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 06:35 PM
2

As a parent? Nah. Would I speak with my son about such an option? Sure. But that would be if my son was old enough (let's say 25+ in age). Before then, play the field.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 06:33 PM
3

That's a bit of the problem, isn't it? Comparing ourselves today to time periods where only a sliver of modern technology existed in some form, if that, would always make us look like the height of opulence. Using that to excuse issues today also helps nobody; I'm sure ancient Rome would look a bit different if smartphones and Tinder existed then.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 05:01 PM
7

I always say as long as there's a solid balance on both ends, it's fine. But that still requires trust and respect on both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 04:55 PM
2

Yep. Agreed. The physical presence portion I place as "looks", which I agree has factors that cannot be changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:10 PM
2

I meant to say that talent aside, developing one's social skill wouldn't be possible on their own. Compared to developing "looks", such as weight, usage of makeup, knowledge of fashionable outfits, practice of hygiene, etc, which one can build at home. I do agree that one can have talent or natural ability with socializing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:42 PM
–

Okay... "Oh yeah, that's messed up." Am I holding men accountable now?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:28 PM
–

Good is me shaking my head and leaving it alone. I'm not sure what you consider "perfect" in this situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 08:26 PM
–

I dunno... Unless you're a very secretive person and don't ever share much details about yourself with a friend, I think they would be able to put the pieces together. That is, if said friend isn't a complete idiot. A lot of variables to your hoe-phase scheme, which I'm confident enough next to no woman at the time is considering.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:47 PM
–

So, lie, but lie really good? Well, as long as said friend doesn't snitch to your partner at any time, I guess it's a perfect crime. Or, if you don't tell on yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:41 PM
–

Assuming you have some female friends that can withstand a bad joke or five, I say: Fuck it, why not? You can make up for it with pumpkin spice lattes or something, I dunno.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:37 PM
–

Dude's IQ is money.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:35 PM
–

In practice, it just looks dumb to play the social referee all the time. Personally, I think a lot of folks say stuff they don't really mean, just to say it. I find just playing the "autist", or overly-curious-podcaster makes you figure out what most people think about. Like a JRE Podcast, "Tell me more".
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:33 PM
–

Well, if it helps you practice, find a woman you know, tell her you gonna say a joke, then ask "You tryna fuck?" I say this as a joke itself, but who knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:30 PM
–

I find it to be bullshit personally, but since we already got a woman commenting, may as well dig into the weeds a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:27 PM
–

Here's the question: If I find the action of such a shitty man repugnant, what is it that you expect me to do about it at that time? What do you believe is an appropriate action to take that will "hold him accountable"?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:26 PM
–

This is one of those "agree to disagree" bits. I'm not saying what you're stating here is illogical or "wrong" in any way, but I just can't vibe with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:24 PM
–

Or...I could just not agree with what they do. Although, I don't think shaking my head and leaving it alone is what qualifies as "hold each other accountable" in others eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:22 PM
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I dunno. I get the struggle, but also I just don't think giving up is right. Although ultimately, whatever works for people is fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:02 PM
–

The question is "Hold each other accountable how?" Is the expectation for men to glare at other men who are on a date to see if they commit any mistakes, and pull them aside?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 06:58 PM
1

I get talent, but if we were to look at it as a pure skill, it's just not doable solo.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 06:55 PM
3

Personally, I think social skills are harder to develop compared to looks for the simple reason that you absolutely need someone else to work with. You can look up makeup videos, hygiene, and start to exercise by yourself. Even run around a bit, and learn proper nutrition. Learn a bit of how to dress, and you can order proper fitting outfits that emphasize your style and looks. All this without talking to anyone. For socializing, particularly for the sake of dating (so, flirting, picking up mino…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 06:54 PM
1

Personally, I was trying to avoid factors like money and status, as that would muddy up the conversation with other variables, especially since the post is just about looks and social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 06:47 PM
3

This link to a 2024 study provides the following: 37% of US adults have used dating apps. -56% of 18-29 adults have used dating apps. -47% of 30-49 adults have used apps. If nothing else, more data that states that newer generations are increasingly using dating apps, more so than meeting in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 06:41 PM
3

The funny thing, is that I do believe social skills matter. OP is just so hellbent that it goes from "social skills are the most important" to "ONLY social skills matter" based on the comments. It's annoying really, because it makes reaching the middle ground impossible (middle ground being both matter, with "agree to disagree" discourse on how much is needed of each)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 06:37 PM
1

One is a fantasy everyone recognizes is fantasy, but some join in because they've been slighted in the past. One is a fantasy you think applies to real life, because you seen it fictional media. If you're trying to argue one is valid and the other isn't, the answer is both aren't, and that doesn't aid your argument. Remember what I said: Don't provide a bad argument just because someone else did in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 06:24 PM
1

Eh. Personally, I see such analogies as insufficient, but if it's worked for you in the past, go ahead I suppose. But, talking romance storylines from a TV show I just don't think aids your point. Yes, in my fictional realm all the autists get supermodels as loyal girlfriends. Doesn't make it reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:49 PM
2

It's more like you're telling me not to believe my own eyes, so it makes sense for me to assume you're the one lying. And can you believe that two people can have two objectively different experiences? Because I certainly never said that your experiences never happened. Just buy a plane ticket to Eastern Europe and I can fix that for you. Don't live in Eastern Europe, and I don't date there. This is irrelevant. The main reason is because they intentionally boxed themselves into a garbage way of …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:43 PM
2

Women don't date men based on looks alone, so your comment is irrelevant. Most men are ugly to most women until they open their mouth. Just proves even more that social skills matter. "Social skills matter", and "social skills matter the most" are two different concepts. Please focus on the one you care to discuss. I already said that social skills matter, and disagree that they matter the most. There's always places to talk to people unless you're some NEET locked in your basement. People to ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:32 PM
4

Ah yes, the "my views don't match theirs, so of course they must be lying!" approach. Here's the issue: If you cannot believe, even for a hypothetical, that there are men who attempt to put themselves out there and get zero results, then it would be nigh impossible for us to see eye to eye. Because to me, I don't see these "pretty ugly guys" who get attention with strong social skills. I see that none of the time. And if you are to call me a liar on my own personal experience, there's no way we …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:26 PM
2

That's fine. But you now have a better idea on why we disagree. Opinions and reasonings have been stated.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:15 PM
8

It's not 5 interviews, it's 0. Zero, zip, zilch. That's the issue here; when chances are not provided, how are you supposed to show you're so socially adept?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:05 PM
2

You should aspire to be better than that, then. Don't provide a bad argument just because someone else did in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:03 PM
3

Eh. I think you're putting your vision of what constitutes "ugly enough" compared to what is seen as "ugly enough" in the dating market. In short, the question would be this: If you showed a woman a photo of a man, and simply asked her if she would consider dating this man based on the photo alone, any photo that woman said "no" to is "ugly enough". If photos and dating apps aren't enough evidence, ask a woman the same thing but at a busy club or bar. With no other information but what they see …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:02 PM
3

And again, that's the issue. Glossing over "minimal attractiveness" still doesn't mean that social skills are the most important. Physical attractiveness IS the most important. Now, if you wish to emphasize that social skills is also required, I won't disagree. But if we're to emphasize priority, if we had to apply the hypothetical of "all of one and none of the other", it would point to physical attractiveness being the most important for social success, with social skills being after.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:56 PM
3

And looking at a sitcom looking at Hollywood nerds is to somehow replicate real life? Yeesh, I'd be more accepting of an anecdote on the personal end, but to rely on fiction is ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:52 PM
5

But when the contrary is "I'd totally nail the interview if I got the chance, yet I never do", we could see where the issue lies. The guy getting interviews are getting chances, and can see where he can improve. The guy not getting interviews doesn't even know if he has to improve, and what to improve if so.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:46 PM
6

But you already stated that: You just have to be physically attractive enough Which is counter to OP's argument that social skills are the most important thing. If it was the most important thing, than being physically attractive would be secondary to this.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:11 PM
16

The issue is, from how I've seen arguments in the past here, "social skills don't matter when you don't have opportunities to be social." This is likely why folks emphasize looks, because looks will give you the shots.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:08 PM
–

It's possible, but at the same time I don't wish to dismiss such actions as the actions of a hostile force solely intending to cause discord, and not an individual, deranged as they might be, speaking honestly about their beliefs. I think to deny that as the honest opinion of someone, is to invalidate the reaction people have to it (in turn, invalidating Reasonable_Style's comment above)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 01:35 AM
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Unfortunately, I have seen such things here in the past on multiple posts. Granted, such comments I only notice in online discourse, but it's enough to say people do bring up morality and sexual success together.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 08:21 PM
1

I was like '...and you're suffering from too many meals syndrome'. Unrelated, but solid comeback. I'm keeping that in my lineup for the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:14 PM
1

I think it just looks different outside of the US, honestly. UK, France, Sweden, Norway, etc. In the US they're all just white, in their respective countries they're not. Although, the UK may treat it similar to the US at this point...
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 09:12 PM
1

Easier to be technically correct that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 08:21 PM
5

I get it, especially if both of you earn a very good amount of money. Like anything, the extra money spent is for convenience, and if you got the funds for it, why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 03:22 PM
5

I would say it depends on the type of cleaning. If we're talking deep cleaning carpets or cleaning vents, I'd hire a service. Everything else I can do myself (especially if I have a dishwasher). Cooking, well I don't need a professional chef to make a decent meal.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 03:19 PM
2

Standard one people point to is the "just be yourself" mantra. My point is that those who label themselves as such, but don't really follow it themselves. Not saying all blue pill folks are man-hating hypocrites, but the comments I see here makes me think some are for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 02:52 PM
2

Eh. If apps weren't so picky about phone OS (and sometimes the phone model itself), older phones wouldn't be so bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 12:55 PM
1

Blue pill refers to a "classic" ideology in regards to dating and relationships. The issue is, some of those folks don't hold such an ideology in mind, but they attribute themselves to blue pill, just to be against men.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 12:53 PM
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Eh. It hasn't been that long, but last time I attended a singles event, it was primarily dudes, and the women that came through basically stayed huddled together, if not attending with (male) friends. So, my only opinion is "depends on the event you go to"
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 09:21 PM
7

Damn shame, really. If people consider society to have gender wars going on, behavior like that just aggravates the situation. Certainly moves contrary to equality, that's for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 09:19 PM
35

"Unworthy men" end up being a safer punching bag, just like how "white people" are in some circles. Easier to spew pure vitriol at those groups, and less chance of people reacting negatively to you for saying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 08:50 PM
17

Sometimes I feel those folks aren't even blue-pilled, but truly just hold hatred to some dudes, and use blue pill as an excuse to justify being that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 08:47 PM
16

Eh. You can be fine with yourself and still point out when people attempt to pull some bullshit on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 08:46 PM
5

People online do say the wildest things.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 08:44 PM
11

Sometimes I hear these tales of the PPD women here being absolute saints to society and I wonder if it's just a case of fortune being unkind to me. Or if they're bullshitting out the wazoo.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 02:28 AM
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Hormonal imbalances can mess you up. I think even in men, have too low estrogen is a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:58 PM
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Back to the same question: How do you determine what such a thug or criminal looks like? If given a lineup of headshots, could you pick out the criminal? How would you make that decision? To hopefully make it make more sense to you and relate it to the other guy, let's go with this: You say all men are a physical threat to you. Would you say all men are criminals, or evil? Would you feel justified in clutching your purse, or pulling out a weapon to defend yourself, every time a man gets close to…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:43 PM
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I used that analogy because it was one that held in my area growing up. Also, how do you determine what a thug or criminal looks like? If I gave you a set of headshots to look at, who would you choose? How would you come to that decision? According to the guy above me, because black people and other POCs were predominantly in the news being arrested for committing crime, it's fair to think all of them are thugs and criminals until they prove themselves not to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:18 PM
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If you wish to use whatever statistics, real or false, to justify your biases and prejudices, that's fine. Although in a sub like this, it's the same kind of logic as believing women are whores who use men for money and free stuff on dates, just because more women do so to men, than the flip side. It's unacceptable. Even if you are "being cautious", holding such prejudice, and putting the challenge on women to break away from your notion that they are whores by doing whatever justifies it in you…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:14 PM
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Usually tough with stuff like that. Either the bullied turns it completely around to avoid it (like the fat kid that gets absolutely jacked in the gym), or double down on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:53 PM
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Had a lady on a dating app unmatch me for not having an Insta (honestly, it's just unused, but same deal). Personally, if you want to know me, just ask me what you want to know. Having to play amateur detective with my social media account is stupid to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:52 PM
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Still bugs me she got the nod without going through the primaries. Had she campaigned and won in that manner, I wouldn't be as bothered about her.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:50 PM
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It's more frustrating. Can't have honest conversations if the ones in charge of such spaces only cater to those pushing their echo chamber views. So I guess the issue is less actually being banned and more why I got banned in the first place. Easy enough to go back in with an alt, but when that happens I think the whole community is just poisoned.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:48 PM
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It's online. I assume most folks don't see others as human beings.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:44 PM
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Dunno about tattoos or smoking, but drugs can help, given how many people take them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:43 PM
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Sucks, and I do wonder what it would take for that couple to turn things around. Not right to allow yourself to get that way, nor your partner to push you in that direction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:42 PM
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I am aware both of what women say and do, I don't need to choose either/or. Yes, none of the women I know IRL who've talked about this and chose the bear are outdoors types. No, I don't think had the situation really come up, they'd turn down the assistance of a man. At least the ones who have stated it's not about trusting the bear are honest enough to state they're not taking the scenario seriously, and it's about something else. I don't have to call a bluff with those women. If a woman is goo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:38 PM
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Yeah, this is one of those fetishes I'm wary of. Even in fantasy it don't look right.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:16 PM
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Prejudice is necessary for safety. It’s a lot of virtue signaling to say one shouldn’t be cautious. It's hypocritical for one to say it's wrong to have prejudices on people based on immutable factors like gender, skin color, sexual identity, etc, and still place prejudices on a group regardless. There are poor neighborhoods in every country with people of every race. I am cautious in all of them. Is it bad that I’m discriminating against the poor? I don’t care as long as I’m safer as a result. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:09 PM
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Personally, I think that would absolutely screw up society, and could irreparably damage relations within the family, and between genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 02:59 PM
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I will agree on the current dating culture damaging expectations. Less expectation on having that life partner, and more a "right now" partner. As a dude, I can only speak on my experiences with the women I dated. If you're having similar experiences as a woman, I can only point to the culture of dating and dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 02:58 PM
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The idea is that immigration is a band-aid of a solution. It can supplement other countries that are lagging, but overall that doesn't help raise the fertility rate (as later generations of those same immigrants adopt their current country's culture and don't have kids), and ultimately that will run dry as well, as those other countries will run dry on people over the next generations.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 02:54 PM
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Nah, some straight up said that. No need to assume. Not all (some stated it as their "piss off men" action or "protest" choice), but enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 02:48 PM
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To make an analogy of race, I don't think it makes a black man comfortable for others to state black men are thugs and criminals in general, and they're an exception. It's just allowing prejudice simply because you're "one of the good ones." We can all acknowledge that there's good people and bad people, without painting all of a group with the same brush.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 02:43 PM
2

Not sure what you're asking here. If you're asking what's done after, then it's to be the one that hangs around, tolerated for their use.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 02:31 PM
6

Won't respect them, at least. People still buy and use literal doormats. Figurative ones aren't fully rejected, just not actively pushed away.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 02:30 PM
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assuming the matches are active, easiest way to game it is to have 4 maybes, and one active slot of matches to reject/accept. Would help if accounts kept those match records on both ends as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 07:42 PM
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Assuming this behavior is legit and also done off the camera, this is something that's done and not visible (unless we're to assume every single action and reaction is recorded and posted online). Hard to say what's the baseline for "statistical significance", but I take it like rare diseases; not enough for the majority of society to care for and be cautious about, but enough to recognize it's existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 07:39 PM
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Extra proof that men and women look at things differently. Dudes are less likely to look "desperate" if they approach, and the expectation for them to approach in the first place means it's still fine for them to approach in the first place, even if the cringe of failure is a result of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 06:12 PM
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If the guy ain't trying to play therapist, no. But again, if it's the workspace, probably.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 05:58 PM
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I will say this from personal experience; I never had a date mention it, but I did feel personal discomfort trying to work around removing the invisalign braces when I went on a date to get drinks/eat. It's more of a thing to you if you're trying to be discreet about wearing/removing them. As for finance, I was told they're the same price as regular braces, so no reason to not get Invisalign at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 04:33 PM
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It's the politically correct way of saying you're a bitch. I can call you insecure in public or the workplace, and people won't say I'm actively antagonizing you. Now, if I call you a bitch, people think I'm trying to start something, and feel you're more justified in punching me for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 04:29 PM
1

One's based on a Stephen King novel, so you'd be right still for it being fictional.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 09:06 PM
3

And what are you talking about by saying the red pill is a manual for women but only has standards for men? From what I'm reading here, red pill's primary demographic is (straight) men, and the main objective of it is to become more successful at dating. To that end, red pill only has standards for men, because that's who was looked at; what men need to do to improve their chances, be it physically, mentally, or emotionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 09:05 PM
2

Well, when the subreddit is called PurplePillDebate, I don't think "Don't Debate" will be done here. And it may as well be followed outside of this subreddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 07:03 PM
1

Closest I had was a lady who broke up with me after a bad date. I figured even on my end it was a dud since that date, but I was more willing to do so in person, so she had the initiative in that regard. My only insistence was in asking if she was fine being friends, since I thought bad date otherwise, she was a good person. She said all or nothing, so I went with nothing. I don't think this is a gender exclusive thing, but people who don't want to let go are reluctant to do so easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 01:56 PM
5

Nope. But ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 07:44 PM
1

I’ve never implied looks don’t matter. Emphasis on one without preface to the other is implication. Adding "well looks matter too, duh" afterwards doesn't eliminate the implication of your words. AFAIK, your OP doesn't state "Looks matter as well, but...", so the implication is available. Whether you edit it afterwards to be more direct doesn't eliminate my point at the time of this comment. You can deep dive my account if you like. Already said I won't. The issue is you all keep hearing the bol…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 07:42 PM
2

Seems more the presentation of your original comment, then, which by what I linked earlier, wasn't the implication of what you're stating now. And even then, men still want women to be traditional. Blame the western world for merging so many cultures together "traditional" means different things to different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 07:26 PM
2

And given a number of comments and discussion in the past, that "physical attraction" portion of your equation tends to get left out, by a number of folks. May have been you in the past as well. Don't care to deep dive for it. There is no misinterpretation of personality here.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 07:03 PM
2

You said: Because men aren't pushed to participate in any of these behaviours, in fact they're the ones pushing for and wanting it. So yes, you mentioned men being traditional. Remember this post in reference to "traditional" behaviors, hence "tradwives". Saying women don't like tradwives because men don't ask for it, and now saying they're not "traditional enough", while trying to connect it to men not liking simps, is ridiculous. Because it would mean that men do want women to be traditional. …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 07:01 PM
2

Personality matters...when the physical attraction is there. That's usually beyond the stage of meeting someone and is a good bit into the dating or relationship stage. No physical attraction, personality don't mean a thing. How I've heard it here, being attractive enough can overcome personality quirks or flaws, which would point to looks being weighted more than personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 06:54 PM
1

I do think culture and technology changes made prior methods of dealing with personal issues either immoral, or just plain unavailable. But I also think with the current switch in culture it's become a bit of a morality flag for themselves, in the same way people blacked out their Twitter pic or put up a post of #BLM. It's seen as the cool and right thing to do, so you can have people that like you. That's not to say I think therapy is useless, as I do know folks who used it and state it has hel…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 06:36 PM
2

According to some conversations I've seen here and elsewhere, the perspective is the opposite: Men are expected to be traditional while women aren't. So I guess the question I have is: What behavior(s) do you believe are considered "traditional" in men, that they're not participating in? Because when you mentioned the "simp" case, the issue with that is simply it's seen as a high-risk, high-investment method with low chance of attraction success.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:42 PM
0

Eh, there's also just playing the slots again until it works out, but if you're at a point of frustration with the system, I get wanting to bow out.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:11 PM
5

The problem with the karma system is that some people look at it like a "highest number wins" sort of competition that most didn't realize are taking place, and some communities do look at karma count (basically, low or negative karma accounts can't interact with some communities). It was supposed to, at one point in the past, be used to point out who had good discussion in good faith, and the trolls who antagonized folks.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:09 PM
0

Why is the idea that many men are better off and happier without women react such a strong emotional response from you? Not the same dude you replied to, but the only thing that irks me is that it leads to an isolated society. That people won't value wanting to be with each other as much. I still wouldn't say to start putting women on a pedestal, but I do worry about society sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:53 PM
1

I can understand the feeling, and while I agree that you can't blame anyone for how you felt then, and you shouldn't get resentful (simply due to it being counter-productive), it is interesting that you can see in real-time not a hint of irony in their words.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:39 PM
1

It seems the answer is to extract the attractive elements of abusive behaviors and emulate that without the abuse. Which is very difficult, if not impossible, when the actual abusive action is what is desired.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:36 PM
2

Why do they link their own dating anger to these women they don't want merely existing? Given conversations here, best I can say is that men notice when women say they hold a preference to a certain type of man, yet their actions have them dating the opposite. So those men who take their words at value, go the self-improvement cycle, and realize that was either ineffective or harmful towards their dating success. In short, hypocrisy. They are very mad that some women they find young and sexually…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 04:06 PM
1

It's crazy to me, to read your experiences here, and to have others comment in the past that such things don't happen (or they do because of highly evil and manipulative behaviors).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 03:58 PM
2

Sounds like a personal displeasure to a particular podcast, honestly. However, they're still providing actionable steps, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 04:49 PM
4

I don't even consider Myron to be actual red pill, he's just running a grift game on YouTube selling bullshit content of drunk Miami girls being baited into saying the stupidest shit on camera. Opinion of Myron aside, there seems to be more than enough clips and content around of women saying similar if not the exact same things, without having to bait them into it. So unless these grifters all happen to be based out of Miami, it's hard for me to just dismiss it as a ultra-narrow demographic tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 10:36 AM
7

According to OP, they didn't meet him on the 4th meeting. They learned he's loaded on their 4th meeting. Those people knew each other before Chad. So unless you know more context about OP than is provided, it seems like you didn't read the details provided.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 09:45 PM
14

Depends on how long this group has known each other (which apparently is long enough for said person to sleep through 11 women), it would be enough time for such information to come out through conversation. Whether or not that's something you or your peer group does would be irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 07:05 PM
13

Make sure they actually have said boyfriend, instead of throw out such a comment for moral posturing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 06:58 PM
1

I got blocked for not having an active insta. Sometimes it's just that petty.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 03:04 PM
1

Basically.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 03:03 PM
13

Matched with one on an app. I remember simply asking "what are you looking for in a partner?" and she rattled off a whole list like a couple lifetime Christmas lists that Santa didn't bring years prior.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 06:46 AM
17

Be yourself in a way that is attractive, duh.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 06:43 AM
1

Depends on how said insecurities express themselves. I've dated women who would be outright hostile if it got brought up. For me, it was like verbally stepping on a landmine, with no way to see it coming.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 06:42 AM
6

The best I can attempt to do is be a good conversationalist. I don't have The World's Most Interesting Man sort of lifestyle, and that doesn't bother me (my username explains enough about me). What does, is the expectation for some reason that I must.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 06:34 AM
1

I think the fact that men are compared to bears and women are compared to trees kind of inadvertently confesses that women enmasse don't pose a physical threat to you the way men do to women. The question is different, though: It's not being asked if lost in the woods, would you prefer to deal with a person or tree. It's who/what would you prefer to be emotionally open with. Women weren't asked if they'd prefer to be emotionally open with a bear. As for physical threat, weapons usually diminish …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 04:12 PM
26

That's effectively the case. Same idea about a pet; Your pet can't talk to someone else and tell them every detail of what you said to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:34 PM
2

Like I've seen with other things in life, there's a lot of conflicting information out there. If advice such as "treat women as people" or "just be yourself" is given to men, they're going to feel a sort of way when that is followed to no success. Even with things that are practical and helpful, like hygiene or self improvement. Are there some who are genuinely passive and/or lazy and have done absolutely nothing while expecting results? Sure. But I think we have far more men than not that do fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:22 PM
7

I remember an old Fresh and Fit clip that put it in that perspective: If women were offering a dude flights to other countries, adoration and such online in the comments of their social media, and inviting them to their VIP section in nightclubs, they'd hold an inflated ego as well. Sure, may be an exaggeration and not representative of the average woman, but even a watered down version of that holds the same perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:13 PM
2

Then the follow up would be how easy is it to get a relationship/sex. If they consider it far more difficult to get a relationship/sex compared to being an alpha, then we know how people move and why.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 02:55 PM
2

It’s why being a beta is the easier route for many men. Easier to attain, not easier to find success in. The relative question is how much more difficult is it to "become an alpha" to consider the alternative. If it's far more difficult to become an alpha compared to getting success as a beta, then I can see why one can advise being a beta. Because the ultimate goal is getting sexual success for many here (with a proper relationship being for many others), either path is reasonable, with the arg…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 02:36 PM
3

I understand that the qualities of being attractive and getting sex/relationships aren't the same as being able to maintain relationships or being a good parent if children come into play. The issue here that I see consistently in conversations here and elsewhere is the confusion that relationship qualities are valued over sex qualities, or that they're both the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 02:04 PM
5

Personally, it sounds like being the "Alpha" type has a greater rate of return, compared to being the beta. So even if it doesn't apply to all women, it's reliable enough to be the path forward for many. To me, it sounds like this: You don't need to get a college degree to make a good living, but most people do, so it makes sense to go for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 01:54 PM
4

What is wrong with less attractive men being upset at unfairness? I assume the thought that these men must accept their fate without complaint. Sorta like how the problem isn't the actual issue, but that someone is talking about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 01:51 PM
18

True. Being the fuckboy sounds better in relation to being the guy who rarely gets a match on a dating app, and no attention irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 01:49 PM
13

Eh. From what I see in the manosphere, nobody hates on the guy who is getting women/has money/is jacked/etc. In short, someone who meets the markers for success isn't rejected, at least, not for acquiring them. Might be for other reasons, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 01:48 PM
2

Sounds like a soap opera issue. I only like watching that on TV. I'd rather not live it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 04:51 PM
2

I always consider the question of "Why is it important this person needs to fit this quality?" If the answer is trash, it ain't worth holding to.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 04:50 PM
1

Just a difference in opinion, then. Congrats to you on that, but I don't see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 12:03 PM
1

The more accurate way to word it would be "Stop trying to get a person you like to like you back. It's almost impossible and actually worse than doing nothing." Maybe there's some folks here who've experienced this, but again, it's just contrary to my personal experience. If you want someone you like to like you, it still requires an effort; effort to get them to notice you, and effort to recognize you like them. I apologize if it makes me seem like I'm trying to be combative on this, but for me…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 02:25 AM
3

I guess that could be considered a privilege of sorts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 03:41 PM
4

That still requires effort. Which I'm not against, let me emphasize that. Someone tells me a surefire way to succeed, I'd follow that path because I want to succeed. If that requires a degree of "leveling up", I'd do that as well. So when I read your comment, I see nothing here that I do by accident. Being noticed "at my best" means I'd have to prepare myself to be that, whether through grooming, fitness, practiced charisma, etc. Me recognizing it is still a social skill that needs to be practic…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 03:41 PM
2

Sure, like picking up a winning lotto ticket off the ground. Can happen, but very unlikely.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 03:31 PM
12

I never understood this one, personally. Success from not trying? Just contrary to my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 06:28 PM
0

I think the belief here is that there should be no need to shift the face you have by default. The face used when there is no obligation to anyone or anything. One can change, but if one must shift their face to be with someone, they are "not themself".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 05:05 PM
1

At this point, I think it's turned into lols.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 05:02 PM
1

The problem with this question is the part where she'd shoot you if she felt threatened by you in any way. That's a hell of a twist, especially if you don't know what actions (outside of the obvious) would make her think of you like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 05:01 PM
1

When I thought of the original question, I thought that either way you'd have a 50/50 on whether the man or bear would be hostile. In that case, it was taking the chances of which one could you handle in the woods (stumble upon a good sharp stick or a rock, and you have a handy weapon against a man). On the opposite end, you have the case where they aren't hostile. The jackpot, like you mentioned, is that the man (woman in this post) would be able to lead you to civilization. Bear can't do that.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 04:58 PM
5

When you can get a better conversation from ChatGPT than a real person, it's quite telling who's messed up.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 04:53 PM
–

Eh. I just find the decision stupid, personally. Fueled by paranoia, trauma, and hate. If someone discriminates against me due to those factors, I'm supposed to sympathize with them? That's like feeling sorry for Nazis that think my bloodline too impure to continue in this world. Not gonna happen. Although, as a man, I do inquire: Do you argue with these men in your bar, telling them they're wrong for thinking in such a way? Do you convince them that women choose the bear because of their action…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 04:45 PM
–

Great, now people are calling other types of content creators grifters. As an aside, I think the term is overused, supposed to vilify people for commercializing something or themselves. Ultimately, if it's that much an issue, just buy a textbook. ...sorry for the rant.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 03:48 PM
–

So...your daughter is now asking men at bars "man or bear"? Is this the key factor in choosing a partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 03:44 PM
1

I have female members of my family that I admire and respect for their character and actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 10:58 PM
–

I think that's where the "totally acceptable to society part" is emphasized. There's been enough calls on major newspapers to shut down the manosphere folks on youtube and other stream sites, which was highly noticed when they focused on Andrew Tate before the charges and sex case came up.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 09:12 PM
–

I'm hoping that 99% genuinely are just trolls in this case. Although...may be able to tell who's who by how they phrase their response and explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 09:07 PM
–

The funny shit I recall in a conversation with someone, was that they felt they could survive a bear encounter with deterrents or weapons like a spray or a high powered shotgun. In which the consensus was "Wouldn't you fare better against a man with that?" Well, all that to say that regardless of your dating preferences and such, thank you for not being an idiot here.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 09:05 PM
–

Both silly and hateful. Silly to the point of abstract parody, honestly. I've mentioned it in other conversations with people elsewhere, that it makes women who answered Bear sound incredibly ignorant about bears, and arrogant on their ignorance. Not to mention hateful and paranoid.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 09:02 PM
–

It's just being shortsighted and stupid. Maybe they wanted to say something like "I don't have to ever deal with a bear, but I have to deal with men who frighten me." In which case, they never should've answered the damn question how they did.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 08:59 PM
–

Might be a bit of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 06:17 PM
–

Solid show
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 06:16 PM
3

Don't agree. No matter how you slice it, crime would occur because shit happens, and some people end up in that frame of mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 02:16 PM
1

Ultimately, just a way to shut down discussion of topics they're against.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 02:05 PM
–

Like anything, some lies are harder to forgive than others. One so critical that it adjusts your life and your relationship as you understand it with a child, yeah that one is hard to swallow down, because it's a lie that swaps you from father to step-father, and while some folks are open minded enough for that to not matter, for some it still does.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 02:32 PM
3

I have. But unless you're going to tell me that humor and wit are definitions of each other, I'm going to keep telling you they're not the same. You looked at the same site I did for wit's definition, so please, give it a go.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 12:07 PM
2

Humor and wit ain't the same. It's quite presumptuous of you to believe such a thing or throw any qualities about my life in there. I will chalk it up to you not being from the same country though. Cultural context and all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 11:53 AM
2

a natural aptitude for using words and ideas in a quick and inventive way to create humour. AKA "shit talking" but hey, whatever floats your boat.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 11:42 AM
3

When I hear "wit", I hear "ability to constantly talk and talk back to someone". Being a shit-talker may make you a decent conversationalist, but I wouldn't call that intelligent.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 11:33 AM
–

Eh. Depends on your friend groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 05:50 PM
–

Theres no way they used all available avenues. There's a bit of context you're ignoring; they think they did. On top of that, there's also the part of not knowing what to do next, in which they're looking for a solution. Your "common sense" leaves them still in a state of failure, as it resolves nothing. Not knowing something is impossible doesn't make it possible for them. Just means they don't know it's impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 04:07 PM
–

Again, they see no way out, and thus cynical pessimism. To look at one example in dating, it's possible they believe they used all available avenues in making themselves as good a person as possible, and that they cannot improve themselves more in any notable way to get better results. Despite this, their results are still slim to none. So it's either stay the course and deal with constant failure and rejection, or give up. Telling those folks it's "not over" implies you know how to resolve thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 03:09 PM
–

Part of the culture is cynical pessimism. Some of it is justified in that there's notable issues in their own lives or the world that they don't see a resolution to. Some might be looking for the fairytale, others something they believe is more reasonable to achieve, yet they can't get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 02:37 PM
–

Most of the time I see the question asked of "If these manosphere folks are so toxic, who should young men listen to instead?" And all I see in comment form are shoulders being shrugged, going "I dunno, but not those guys." Which to me, from the amount of time being on these subs, is a lot of platitudes which equate to "sit down and shut up" to me. It's tough trying to be reasonable at times when men's issues are faced with apathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 08:33 PM
4

The "intimidated" part is what gets me honestly. Can't think of a single guy (single or not) who would say their education and career status "intimidates" whoever they're dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 06:24 PM
3

Seems to come down more to whether or not you believe they're lying. Which is tough to say on the internet; no way to prove it either way, so at most you take their words and weigh it against your own perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 03:01 PM
4

Assuming a sub based on relationships and dating is more focused on topics like sex, it would make sense the group you're looking at is more focused on such things like orgasms. It's like a cooking sub having folks that are more involved making food outside of microwaving TV dinners than the average.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 02:56 PM
6

The unfortunate issue is that you're also assuming a uniform distribution on the 60/40, for both women in general and the women here. It's quite likely you're dealing with a biased audience that don't have such experiences. It's like talking about crime statistics in the town where crime is at a minimum.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 02:47 PM
5

I assume there's conditions where both partners in a relationship have been around each other long enough for consent is implied, instead of requiring it be explicit (nonverbal communication or cues). That doesn't represent all scenarios, though, especially in the dating market.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 05:57 PM
1

I get what you're saying, and that's acceptable. I have no qualms with that. My thing is, if all things being equal, consent must still be requested. On that one scenario an act was initiated on you by a woman (hypothetically speaking), consent should be requested. An exception cannot be made on your part, if you agree that all parties should agree to consent, just because the current entirety of your experiences had you as the initiator.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 04:53 PM
3

But also if you look at stats women in relationships coerce men into sex almost as much as men coerce women, it just isn’t accounted as sexual harrasment/rape because I guess societal views and in some countries that is hardcoded into law (women are almost virtually incapable of committing rape unless they shove something up a man’s ass). And even that may not be counted as rape depending who you ask. In short, if we're to respect the "no means no" rule of consent, and that consent must be provi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 04:21 PM
–

Yes, she would argue with any man on virtually any topic because she is not agreeable. As soon as that man stepped outside of her very narrow worldview, that “agreeableness” would vanish like a mirage Hard to say. How someone is on a show with a camera in their face and how someone is in their private life doesn't have to be the same, especially if said show fits the similar format of political pundits arguing over each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 02:59 PM
–

Is a Big 5 personality trait and goes FAR beyond simply “well she says a few things some guys may like” Definitions people use I for it may differ, but I tend to go with "minimizes conflict". Also content creators with obsessed with them bases cannot date or marry without torpedoing their sub counts Eh. I'd say in particular for Pearl's case she looks more weird not having a man, compared to having a boyfriend or a husband. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt in thinking she's not looking for…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 02:54 PM
4

Some folks like to hold their position as a sort of permit to harm others. It's weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 02:20 PM
6

Is it possible to abuse an animal that can rip your throat out? Yeah. Do you think it's okay to harm others just because you're smaller or physically weaker than them?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 02:18 PM
7

It's one of those social issues where what's practiced isn't what's preached. Shouldn't matter how often men engage to women, if the rule is "consent must be requested".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 02:14 PM
2

Looking at just the title: This is a question of "standards". And the answer is, you're free to establish whatever standard you want. However, you may find yourself with less options than you'd like in your local dating pool if that's the case. In terms of salary, sure, find any man that matches what you make. However, you trim your dating pool as your salary climbs up.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 02:10 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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