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ThrowRA_forfreedom Archive

View 11 posts and 154 comments by ThrowRA_forfreedom on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Men are driven by beauty as a primary motivator, and high value men who are kind, competent, ambitious, and hygienic know they're in high demand and can get what they want. So, your options for avoiding "shallow" men are blind and low value (unattractive, abusive, sloppy). I'm saying this as someone who struggled through what you're going through for ten years until I got surgical correction. I wouldn't recommend it.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/25 03:16 PM
4

This happened to me, but it was because I had super high RMV and sadly low SMV (not fat, just a flat chested butterface lol). Men love a great personality and heart and will stick with you and play the lead, but unless you hit their minimum looks threshold, they won't commit. So it could be low RMV high SMV or high RMV and low SMV causing things to be imbalanced. You're good enough to keep around until the better thing comes along.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/25 07:05 AM
7

Yeah, no eye contact at all is weird and awkward. Making a little less eye contact on average could mean he's thinking or a bit autistic, but very little to none at all is off. In general, powerful and high-value men are charismatic and have great body language. They know when/how to make eye contact. If they're doing less than average, it makes sense, but I'd expect it to be a bit more subtle. Pay more attention to where a man goes in a first principles kind of discussion. If they're parroting …
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/25 10:38 AM
35

Oohhh girl, none of those things he said is alpha language at all. Those all say "weird and desperate," not "I'm a competent and trustworthy leader." Men in the latter category are capable of taking care of themselves (which makes taking care of them all the more endearing), have emotional intelligence (not emotional stunting, he works through things not against them), and don't need to posture around it (no real alpha male would feel inclined to discuss status, it's below him by nature.) Glad y…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/25 10:13 AM
2

Agreed!! People get so focused on RMV, but that was never where I was weak. You can have all the RMV in the world, but if you're below the SMV threshold for most men, they'll NEVER consider committing.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/25 05:47 PM
6

I had orthodontics and jaw surgery, which made the biggest difference, as well as a few other minor procedures like co2 laser for acne scarring and sculptra injections for collagen development.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/25 06:23 PM
6

I had the same problem, too. Big time butterface. Had to have surgery before anyone committed to me. Immediate shift in how men responded to me and I'm so mad I waited 10 years to do it because if I'd just gotten it done in my early 20s I could have been married and have kids in my 20s when I wanted to instead of hassling with fertility and health challenges now. I'd also have way less of a "history" with multiple men who strung me along and left me with baggage. It's not ALL looks, but unfortun…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/25 12:00 AM
3

It's the bee's knees!! My husband is my best friend and I can't recommend it enough with the right person!
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/24 07:20 AM
3

Being a wife and mother was my lifelong dream, and I didn't want to give up. Every guy was slightly different and seemed honest at the start. Besides, everyone talks about "kissing a few frogs," so I figured they just weren't the right guy for me. I'm not omnipotent, you know? I thought it was just a bad egg or two, and that's what I was told when it happened (women lie to each other so much about this stuff it's honestly insane), I didn't know that this was just the nature of eggs in general, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 10:06 AM
3

Those were the men that were available to me, and I hoped love/attraction would form over time. Of course, it took a few tries to realize love can never flourish in the perfume cloud of bad hygiene and remarks about how you're a placeholder for a hotter girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 09:48 AM
3

I wanted to get married and have a family. I dated within my "league" hoping to achieve that and acknowledged what was realistic for me at the time to find that commitment. I was not the kind of girl who was going to get Chad or even regular-old Andrew. That's like the top 60-70% of men who know they can land a hottie, and I had a facial deformity, I had to be realistic and knew I could be attracted to a man through love over time instead of just initial lust. Men taking advantage of you for sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 09:37 AM
3

Yeah, when I was younger I definitely dated men I wasn't attracted to or felt like weren't quality partners when I was insecure. Bad hygiene, no education, abusive/mean spirited, divorced, unhealthy, unemployed or barely employed, etc you name it. I think it's also that men approach unattractive women less often in general, too, and we have to kind of put ourselves out there more and approach first. Which is daunting when even low quality men see you as a bangmaid and not partner material. I sto…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 10:01 PM
2

I was definitely lucky they kicked in some help, especially with recovery stuff. Though I'm a bit bitter that they paid in full for my sisters' braces when they were teens. I assume they'd help a son if he were earlier in the birth order.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 05:54 AM
1

A ton of time, money, and energy. I had invasive orthodontics and everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 05:01 AM
5

I don't think I even registered as a human to most men before I glowed up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 02:53 PM
20

It depends so much on how well you take care of yourself! I get more attention, respect, and graciousness from men now in my 30s than I did in my 20s. That said, I've always been fit and active but also invested in orthodontic care as well as anti-aging and beautification/femininity through my late 20s. The wall is, in reality, different for everyone. It seems like it's more of a point where you stop taking care of yourself than a specific age. Most men don't care about your numerical age, just …
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/24 10:25 AM
1

It seems you're misconstruing what I've said and are making up a complete fantasy yourself of my mindset and that of others as always chasing a new high. That's not how it works. Every relationship settles down eventually, but the men I dated before didn't really love me either. Some of them were using me. There was no real connection because there couldn't be without something mutual. I apologize that learning about my experience has wounded you and caused you to fear being abandoned for a fant…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 04:04 PM
1

I think it's rare enough for it to happen once. The hunting buddy never became a relationship or turned physical. It was when I was in my early 20s, and it's hard to explain, but I know the depth of my feelings for that guy were more than anyone I'd met until my husband. For a long time, I thought it was just an intense crush. I really didn't think I'd encounter it again, and now that I have, AND I've had a full relationship and commitment with it I just can't reconcile the idea of trying to do …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:00 AM
1

I'm so sorry. That's really tough and totally understandable. If my husband passes, I don't think I'll ever date again. It feels irreplaceable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 05:04 AM
1

I think most people are. Even men. I've had exes that didn't show me off on social media or didn't really invest in the relationship, but when they met someone they were more interested in, they went full send. Men falsify love and pretend to be in a fulfilling relationship for easy sex all the time. It's happened to everyone I know of all genders. You meet your person, and it just hits different. You respond and act completely different compared to other people you care for and are attracted to…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 04:51 AM
2

Agreed. Looking back, I've only been in love twice. My husband and a guy I used to go hunting with. Everything else was like... various shades of "just not wanting to be alone" and friendship. Actual love is so different when it comes to sex. I couldn't finish with other men most of the time until I learned a trick where I started looking away and thinking of romance novels and eventually learning to tune out a little and pretending to be engaged and maintaining eye contact while my mind was els…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 08:05 PM
–

Two. One high-school classmate and an acquaintence from volunteering. I don't know all the details, but I know one was due to a complication after delivery that caused her to contract sepsis. Both were perfectly healthy prior to giving birth. However, I'm in the US, where care for maternity is weirdly really sketchy, and we're obsessed with inducing labor. I know way more people with near misses and lifelong complications, though, some of which they feel ruined their marriages or daily lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 10:12 AM
2

Literally every time we went out he had some kind of stain or smudge on his clothing or even holes, his beard was almost never trimmed, and he bragged about cutting his own hair like he was accomplishing something incredible (it was not good, y'all). He just didn't take care of himself, like, at all. Edit: this was a well-paid professional. Like doctor or lawyer well paid. He could afford laundry detergent and a haircut. And he was so funny and cool aside, I just couldn't get over the sloppy-nes…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 07:02 PM
3

Competence for sure. If I had to be with someone humorless, they had better have their act together.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 05:34 PM
5

Humor and competence are way up there for me. I'd say those outweigh good looks in value. Ambition and passion are also super charismatic, but only if that competence pre-requisite is met. So, competence, I guess, is the most important one.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 05:29 PM
1

Purple pill. Love is conditional (red pill), but achievable and worthwhile (blue pill).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 04:54 PM
2

Yeah, I mean it's unrealistic and disingenuous, and we see through the grift. It's annoying and, at times, spreading scientific misinformation. I think men aren't upset because it's like looking at VS models for them. They're not held to that standard and can consune it any way they want. He might not know what it takes to realistically achieve that kind of body but he's going to hold his partner to that standard subconsciously without kicking in the necessary support for her to take all her tim…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 11:27 AM
13

It seems unrealistic and disingenuous most of the time. There's so much of it where it's so obviously clickbait content or just trying to be contrarion. Kind of like the boujie stay at home girlfriend stuff tries to create the implication that women can just be catered to 24/7 by professional home service providers and be spoiled with tropical vacations and designers bags just for existing. Just reads as fake, silly, and unrelatable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:12 PM
1

For learning theory, there are books and other media like youtube. For theory and practice, there are organizations like Toastmasters and improv groups. There's even personal coaches for social and leadership skills. I do agree that a toxic childhood is radically stunting, but I think it's what makes it so important to get socially fit since we're at higher risk of attracting psychos. Kinda like being born with a heart condition makes eating healthy and being fit more important.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 03:25 PM
3

Haha, that's actually super cute. Also informative, I had no idea they do it by percentage like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 03:09 PM
3

Lol, see, anyone can learn the skills to make people irritated while still being polite! Just kidding. In all seriousness, though, I'm super glad it's informative. I really want to help cut through the dismissive, stupid, placative, and otherwise bad advice people receive in terms of dating and life skills. It really just does more harm than good and causes people to be more upset and extreme. It's like those people who go 5 mph under the speed limit thinking they're the safest and best drivers …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 08:46 PM
2

I mean, I taught myself better charisma and social skills. I'm not the life of the party, but people still make a point to invite me now. It's no tougher than working out, eating right, having a hair and skin care routine, keeping a clean house, and taking care of or improving ourselves in other ways. Here's some good starting points: Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards, Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards, How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dael Carnegie, 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, Art of …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:09 PM
4

Oh man, that's a bummer. I'm sorry to hear about those experiences. It's a tough and unforgiving market for sure. Especially the shallowness factor. I was going to do this whole gambling metaphor, but I got kinda lost in it. So I'll just condense it to the end: The options are to change your bet to something with better odds (change the self), let it ride for a smaller chance of a bigger win (keep trying), or walk away from the table knowing the game favors the house. Frankly, I don't even know …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:52 AM
7

This is purely personal experience, but I went from a socially anxious wreck to a social leader in my personal and professional life. I also had to learn to flirt and present myself in a way to "be lovable" to men. Long story, but I was missing the mark disastrously. It was hard work, and it was filled with sucky advice to wade through, but there's absolutely hope for change if social anxiety is a limiting factor. I do agree, though, that you should never date anyone who doesn't fully accept and…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:23 AM
6

Intuition is definitely tough to develop, but the rest of these seem like things that can be mastered sufficiently with practice. I'm genuinely not trying to be rude, but what kinds of challenges do you think men have as far as barriers to learning charisma and social skills? Edit: I don't personally see these traits as super essential. My husband and I are homebodies, but we both definitely know how to turn on the charm for career stuff sometimes. I can see it being a desire for super hot women…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 04:43 AM
2

Not always. That quality over quantity theory is so valid. If your social circle is harmful to you or reflects poorly on you, it's definitely a -100. A good one is a big plus, though. It's appealing when you know someone likes people and treats them well enough to be liked in turn. Definite green flag. Getting involved with non-profits and volunteering is great for finding quality friendships with uplifting people after college. There are so many organizations that had a dearth of volunteers aft…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 12:08 AM
0

What are some examples of desirability gaps you've seen in older women that are keeping them single? I was super grateful to have someone point out mine, so some insight might help some readers realize what they can work on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:34 PM
–

Maxillofacial surgery and orthodontics!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 01:43 AM
–

(Former) ugly woman here. The only "cure" is plastic surgery. If you get a banging bod you MIGHT be string-along material but definitely not anything anyone takes seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 11:36 PM
6

Agreed. Half of these are experienced by ugly women, too. Often more severely. Sexual Harassment which we're expected to be grateful for because "no one would want us" is the bees knees.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 05:43 AM
9

I want to verbalize major support for this phenomenon. I don't see a lot of men that wow me or make me weak in the knees on looks around. But I see plenty more less heart-throb looking guys with good grooming and style doing something hot like playing with a puppy, being charismatic/funny, or chopping wood that could have caught my attention when I was single. Aside from my husband, the biggest crush I ever had was on a 5'9" chubby half-japanese dude with a wild beard who was passionate about ke…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 06:15 AM
2

Oh, it would be like... 2 hours of will they won't they with an easy self insert female lead who is described as "average" but is actually just naturally hot with no-makeup makeup, and a tall dark and broody yet powerful male lead, all wrapped up with maybe 10 minutes of steamy explicit scenes. Or just a buff guy chopping wood without a top on. Female gaze is more like... story and dynamic driven. Less of a gaze and more of a mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 08:57 AM
9

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2014/12/04/tying-the-knot-again-chances-are-theres-a-bigger-age-gap-than-the-first-time-around/ Bummer that people are getting the impression that men are totally trashed after divorce. Though I definitely get it feeling that way, there's absolutely hope! Statistically -- in the US -- men are more likely to remarry, and remarry faster than women, often to a younger partner! The article above is specific to the age gap study, but it links to the other data …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 09:24 PM
1

Everyone has different challenges. For me, my mountain was primarily a minor deformation of my maxilla and the adjacent areas (teeth, jaw, nose) that were afflicted. I'm sorry news of my journey has been so disturbing to you! My inner journey was already well underway by the time I realized what my deficit was that was lowering my ability to inspire commitment. I was very much all about inner beauty and thought outer beauty wouldn't matter. I was completely convinced if I was just good enough in…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/24 06:16 PM
13

I definitely see not wanting to date/marry now that you say it that way. Why bother if a spouse is just going to think you're ugly and gross after 10 years together? What's going to happen if you get pregnant and don't bounce back in your body right away or have complications? Getting cheated on for a 22 year old and having to file for divorce sounds way more painful than just hanging out with your pets and staying away from dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 01:24 AM
3

Kind of. I'm FIRE'd and have guaranteed future income increases. However, I'm a very active volunteer with a lot of hobbies, and I travel and still dabble in business opportunities. I'd want someone equally invested in doing things and being a leader in the community, not just melting into the sofa. One of my other friends who's FIRE has a day job that they do for fun three days a week on a flexible schedule.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 03:30 PM
5

I was in this boat for a long time, too. LTRs with guys who were unattractive physically and/or emotionally or even made me feel uncomfortable or grossed out at times. Weirdly ended up marrying the one guy I dated who more than met my basic needs and would even meet some of the crazier dating standards I've seen. He also makes me soup when I'm sick and has great hygiene. I don't know what I did to get him, but I love him to bits.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 08:15 AM
4

I agree big time on spending habits over actual income. A guy could have it made with inherited wealth but be completely irresponsible or unethical and lacking ambition. Alternatively, a man could be making 65k as an entry-level tradesman with a solid plan to start his own company and the savvy ambition to make it happen. The latter is usually a safer bet in terms of longterm security and financial health.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/24 11:38 PM
–

I'm in my villain era so take what I have to say with a grain of salt, but, get him to pay for a mommy makeover so you can reconnect with your body and feel confident, then probably end up leaving because I don't think I could forgive that behavior. RPW is built for connecting with whole, authentic, and competent high-value men. He isn't demonstrating those traits. If he wants a wife with a certain body type it's on him to pony up and make it happen. I'd bail anyway on the premise that he never …
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/24 09:19 AM
25

As someone with bad facial structure, no amount of makeup is going to change that I'm not a 10. When all of us wear makeup to an event or outing, I'm going to fall into the same "position" as I always would in comparison to other women. So will they. It really doesn't make THAT much of a difference. Plastic surgery took me from a 3 to a 5, though, so I'd go after those guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 04:31 PM
8

Some behaviors are legit predatory. E.g. waiting in the wings for a girl they personally know to turn 18 or only dating younger women to "shape them," which is pretty creepy. There are other scenarios that I think are straight up disgusting and, in many cases, illegal that young people shouldn't ever be subjected to. E.g. scrubs dating younger because the girl will be too naive to realize he has major issues that could ruin her life (previous divorce, extreme debt, criminal record, bad credit, m…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 07:02 PM
1

I think I value education in the sense that someone is pursuing something to enrich themselves and their life and can work with others to achieve that. I don't think it's the particular college degree for me so much as like, "he's invested in himself and his life," and that's sexy. I think it's also why I connected most with physicians, engineers, and attorneys as friends or lovers because the effort and focus they put into their achievements is really inspiring. I dated a few guys without colle…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 04:41 PM
1

Ugly girl solidarity here. I went through the same thing. Always knew I wanted to be a wife and mother, but my outer beauty just didn't make the cut despite being lean and fit. My face was busted. It seems like the ugly girl experience is exactly like the mid guy experience, except you can get used as a placeholder, but you'll never actually be wanted or loved. So there's sex if you like casual sex, I personally don't. It's not for everyone, but plastic surgery has changed my life. I was propose…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 12:51 PM
1

To preface: I've always been skinny and fit. 5'0" My first boyfriend was 6'6" The guy I wanted to marry in my early 20s was 5'4". I'm married to someone almost 6'4" I would have married the shorter guy, and wanted to, all but begged. If I had to guess he thought he could get better and didn't. He's still single, and his sister is the attorney that wrote my prenup.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 06:09 PM
1

Maybe not regular porn per se, but I could see romance novels and movies doing that, and also social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 07:28 AM
3

This is so interesting to see that first one. I was always taught that it's extremely poor taste to divulge a lot about a breakup and can put people -- including men -- off.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 05:06 AM
–

No kidding. Being large-nosed and flat-chested with mild acne took me completely out of the commitment market most of my 20s even if I was doing great everywhere else that I know of for male interest. Wasn't even overweight. I was only good enough as a placeholder until I got plastic surgery recently. Seems like the same way only the top tiers of men get constant sex, only the top tiers of women get commitment beyond placeholder bangmaid. Which makes sense why so many women are opting for promis…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 10:58 AM
2

Both men and women are already getting their emotional and sexual needs fulfilled by apps like Replika.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 02:49 AM
2

This is too real and from personal experience seems to have been my plight. But I feel like it was mostly because all the hotter chicks were locked down young?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/23 05:03 AM
3

Controversial move but I wholeheartedly agree with this as the girl who wasted her 20s being settled for. I stopped making excuses for men's behavior and now I'm engaged and treated incredibly well.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 10:34 AM
8

She's living the dream, honestly! Hope she finds it fulfilling whether she decides to pursue working or not!
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 04:24 AM
8

Too real. Before I met my fiance I went on some dates with a dude and every time we went out his tshirt had pit stains and there was always a smidgen of something on his pants like mustard or w/e. Sweet guy but I couldn't get over the lack of basic hygiene. Had to set that one free.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 09:23 AM
2

Oh man, a lot. The full list is in my comment history someplace but the biggest impact were jaw surgery and orthodontics followed by subtle filler and microneedling. I'm currently on the roster for a rhinoplasty and lip lift.
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/23 08:24 PM
12

Marketing has a ton of sub fields and specializations you could try out. If you take some time to study up on ChatGPT that's a BIG skill right now. You can also go into sales, realestate, programming, fitness instruction, bookkeeping, medical billing, phlebotomy, hair dressing, and a few other jobs with little more than a 6 month certificate or training. If it makes you feel any better; wanted to be married by 22 and my dream job is still SAHM and active volunteer in my community. I got messed a…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/23 08:07 PM
16

I think it's more "become the equivalent" more so than "become the exact match" So in areas where there needs to be polarity, emphasize that!
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/23 09:35 AM
1

My actual standards are apparently 2/5 for unmarried men 25 to 50, any height over 5'4" with no modifiers for weight, and income at least 65k. Putting in my actual fiance's data lands me 5/5, don't belong on this planet 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 07:05 PM
2

Girl I feel you. Unfortunately for me the answer was investing in my outer appearance more than that specific list implies. I don't know you well enough to give hyper-specific advice but I can tell you that I got proposed to by a high value and traditional man after getting plastic surgery where before I was a placeholder despite being a RPW. :(
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/23 06:43 PM
1

Around my area it seems like if you have great hygiene, do your hair, and dress even remotely nicely you can land yourself in the top 20% of men looks-wise. For some reason men around my area think shirts with obvious holes and discoloration in the pits and the same pair of stained jeans worn three days in a row is reasonable and women -- who collectively have notoriously low disgust thresholds -- should want to be all up on them and they act like it's a major imposition with women being shallow…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/23 09:09 AM
13

This is the answer. I think we also need to consider that attractiveness is a spectrum. Just because early 20s are MOST attractive, does not mean that other ages are completely unattractive and forfeit, just that there's a peak data point.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 06:49 PM
5

I think it's less that it's hard to understand and more that it's hard to swallow that we're doing the same thing to each other because we have different goals. I know men who slay pussy left and right without being a total chad because they; -wear button up shirts and decently fashionable shoes -do their hair nice -have ambition/passion in their career -imply they're looking to settle down A friend's ex got her to stick around by writing "buy engagement ring for [gf's name]?" In his annual goal…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 10:03 PM
8

Same. Most women I know are looking for a lifelong partner, so when people say "they have so many options! They can sleep with whomever! Easy mode!" It seems awkward because I personally only know a handful of women who enjoy casual sex, uncommitted sex, or even dead-end relationships. The rest would rather hold out for real commitment and connection. Meanwhile I know a swath of varying qualities of women in dead-end relationships with varying qualities of men who aren't popping the question or …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 02:42 PM
1

Didn't much bother with Tinder since it seemed to be designed for pretty women anyway. Until I went through a glow up I always had to take the low and slow approach nwith dating and be a friend first to get men to warm up to me based on character. Can't do that on a visual yes/no system
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/23 05:37 AM
6

I feel like it's kind of taboo to announce you're giving up on men. People perceive it as negative and dramatic, so even when you make the call you kinda want to keep it to yourself and move forward so as not to create the image of some kind of moral shortcoming in any social circles. Not dwelling on the things that lead to the choice (men w/ super high standards, lack of options, bad experiences, etc) also helps you move forward and truly be more positive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 09:11 PM
2

Red flag. Clear the couple either doesn't actually like each other or one of them is hiding something major (cheating, debt, etc.). I do think there are people who opt out of marriage willingly and just stay forever committed. I considered it a long time for financial protection reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 04:57 AM
2

I can only provide my own experience and the answer for me was a resounding yes. My only recommendation would be fat transfer instead of implants.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/23 09:29 AM
8

Yes! I'm engaged!
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/23 08:46 PM
1

Agreed. However, that wasn't the limiting factor with the individual's desire to commit. He was engaged shortly after we broke up. He's now divorced.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/23 03:29 PM
5

Microneedling, sculptra (a subdermal collagen stimulant, different from HA filler), peels/laser, botox/filler, and laser hair removal (which I recommend to any woman, just on the basis that it reduces your personal maintenance load so much and the longterm savings is superb). I also started using minoxidil and rosemary oil in my hair and my goodness the results are gorgeous. Invisalign and bonding, and I guess some dental treatments for whitening/filing. I have a decent paying job with great den…
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/22 09:07 PM
2

Plastic surgery (specifically to correct a recessed jaw and a bulbous nose), some aggressive medspa treatments, and orthodontics.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/22 08:06 PM
13

This might cause some people here to get up at arms but it was twofold; I was physically unattractive,and I was having trouble accepting that it mattered. I was fit, healthy, playful, friendly, warmhearted, and an amazing domestic asset etc. Unfortunately my face wasn't as pleasant as most other women's. It took a lot to accept that I needed intervention and to stop trying to force my perspective of "only inner beauty matters" on an entire sect of people who intrinsically value physical beauty.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/22 07:41 PM
8

In addition to finding guys that see you as type 4 wife material, I personally found that I needed to do some work on myself for men to perceive me as type 4. I was healthy and fit while dating average guys with average incomes, average lifestyles, average looks, and average heights but still couldn't inspire commitment. I even dated an enlisted military guy and didn't inspire a proposal. These men weren't commitmentphobic, they would later happily commit to other women who weren't much differen…
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/22 07:26 PM
11

I was tired of not being able to keep men or inspire commitment.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/22 07:13 PM
2

Not gonna lie, I feel the same. If you're a woman and you take remotely good care of yourself it really increases your odds of being and staying attractive to a good partner. My personal limiting factor though was butterface until recently lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/22 11:01 PM
7

Femcels. Usually it's just the misfortune of not being very cute.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/22 02:16 PM
12

Vindicta is still extremely soft and leans heavily into placations and subjectivity compared to male oriented looksmaxxing communities. Browse the sub and you'll find most comments and top posts are about self confidence and self love or are even straight up copium compared to being actual glow up advice. Compare vindicta to groups like looksmaxxing.org or blackpill communities and it's just another kumbaya drum circle. It's honestly a very frustrating community to be in if you actually need hel…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 01:32 PM
2

I love this perspective on making it about your experience and feelings instead of a correction or advisement.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/22 12:19 PM
1

My life was actually radically changed for the better by cosmetic surgery. I had a great body and healthy lifestyle, but lackluster face that I was able to address it thanks to some great medical and aesthetics professionals. Personally I'm supportive of most subtle modifications for people genuinely struggling at the hands of a well trained and certified board professional. There's such a thing as overboard, especially if someone is already generally attractive. Implants aren't my thing though.…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/22 07:04 AM
–

Opinion 1. Men and women are both hypergamous and only target/value the highest tiers of the opposite gender. Men only really want and value attractive women, and will use less attractive women for sex. They'll also leave one woman for a more attractive woman given a good opportunity. Women only have high interest in and pursue the most high value men, and will use lower value men for food/support. Then they'll bail for a more appealing dude given an opportunity. Everyone's threshold for what th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 05:12 PM
–

Agreed regarding negging. It's always off putting and causes me to think you're not going to be into me anyway so why entertain you?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 04:35 PM
4

Yeah it's kinda awkward not gonna lie! But you get used to it and if you're extroverted it can be really fun if you come at it with curiosity and excitement to meet new people. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/22 01:05 AM
3

I used to date one guy at a time, and I would take breaks between relationships. I switched to multidating and monkeybranching (going straight from one relationship to the next) Not behavior I'm proud of, but it works. Met the love of my life and never have to do it again!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 11:51 PM
14

I was a butterface with a great booty and friendly personality that went from a 3/4 in the face to a 7 with plastic surgery and comprehensive medspa treatments. I went from being used as a placeholder by lower quality men to getting engaged in a little over a year to a super awesome guy I adore. I did also change my dating tactic though, so that could be part of it, too! Edit: not offended by being called ugly at this point now that I've taken action to grow past it and I know I'm more than just…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 04:26 PM
1

I had the same forever girlfriend mindset. I would get locked down and stay in a crummy relationship hoping for things to improve. If/when things finally dissolved I took several year+ long breaks between relationships. RP actually introduced me to monkeybranching/hypergamy and I thought maybe that's what other women do that works for their longterm relationship success finding marital partners. It's not like anyone would ever admit to that behavior. I was anxious as heck at first but monkeybran…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 04:44 PM
3

Bail.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 08:31 PM
1

This is a great way of putting it!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 09:41 PM
1

I've dated almost exclusively blue collar guys, enlisted military, and guys with no degree until my current SO. My tastes tend to be very traditional though (looking for a leader, masculine, handy, down to earth, similar interests/values, capable, etc) Honestly for my part I just needed to invest in a glow up and change careers to something a little more in-line with "feminine energy" haha. I'm sure there are a lot of scenarios out there in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 07:16 PM
7

I'm really happy to hear I'm not the only woman who desperately and honestly wished she was dumb and hot. "Omg but you could do anythiiing" Except the one thing I want; get married, have babies, stay at home and love my family to bits. :')
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 02:40 PM
11

There was a user here who openly requested attractiveness ratings in user tags because, "obviously only the opinions of attractive women matter." That was also eye opening. Facially average and unattractive women are not women to a lot of men. They're not even people. I think most men's idea of average is significantly more facially and physically attractive than the term, "average" would imply from a full population sample.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/22 12:22 PM
6

I think drama would definitely qualify as exhausting lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 04:14 AM
8

Another aspect of this is "reading between the lines" and inferring things. When a neurotypical person says, "I don't want anymore games" what they actually mean is, "I want games (a playful push and pull courtship), that end in my favor and don't exhaust me." There is so, so much of that in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 02:14 AM
5

Love and devotion (lots of affection, cooperative life building, commitment, good communication, etc) from a mentally stable man with access to, and more importantly, fluency with resources (money, talent, interest/adventure, property, social skills, etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 06:19 PM
14

Engineering Physics with a Chem minor. In true STEM fashion though I struggled with dating and it took ten years to finally get engaged lol
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 03:22 AM
10

Agree with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 01:10 AM
3

High SMV escalates RMV. Consider SMV as comprising 1/2 of your RMV. It sounds like you're demoing the wrong behaviors and your high SMV may be colored as a result of male gaz vs female gaze. What women find attractive (generally low trust with some masculine accents e.g. Gisele Bundchen, Gigi Hadid, etc.) vs. What men find attractive (high trust features with neotenous accents e.g. that one tiktok girl that always does the hentai face. Forgot her name) are wildly different
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/22 01:49 AM
6

I'm not going to give you performative feel-good "everyone is beautiful don't be sad" advice. I think you're young enough and value your future enough to take action. Keep up with the gym. Bust your butt. Perfect your skincare, haircare, fashion, and makeup routines. After that if you feel your facial features are hindering you, save up for intervention and talk to a licensed cosmetic medicine professional. It. Is. Worth it. Society will pressure you to conform and stay "natural", but the choice…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 04:27 AM
16

This. There's been plenty of good advice here about value and finding the right men, but my guess is you could have turned some of these prospects into buyers with the right delivery. "I don't have sex before commitment" and other iterations reads as, "tit for tat dude, now fork over that tat." It's aggressive and transactional. Get in touch with your femininity! What is it you want to FEEL in a commitment that makes it feel good to have sex at that stage? "I want things like that to feel specia…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/22 07:22 AM
1

You will never get constructive feedback or actionable advice from platforms like these or even Reddit rating subs (vindicta included). You'd be hard pressed to get honesty to begin with. These are laymen with untrained eyes and no understanding of musculoskeletal function or facial development let alone the distinct categories that contribute to beauty (health, development, neoteny, koinophilia, dimorphism) or how to evaluate as a whole. If you get advice it will primarily be recommending a las…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/22 11:05 AM
5

The myth of beauty being universal is so damaging. There have got to be better ways to acknowledge the amalgamation of good, bad, and plain physical qualities in individuals instead of automatically saying everyone is maximum good/beautiful. The majority of people have great qualities physical and psychological. Most will pass the threshold of stimulating physical arousal. A handful will struggle. So, no, not everyone is beautiful. And I get to say that as someone who used to make people cringe …
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/22 03:49 AM
2

The glow may be directly related to orbital and malar fat loss. I've noticed when women age in these areas people begin to attribute words like "tired" and "mature" to a woman. Also, hydration.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/22 11:04 AM
9

As you age the fat pads in your face start to thin out, shift, and drift apart. The collagen in the upper layers of your skin starts to break down and the upper layers lose hydration from oil production. Entire muscle groups begin to sag and fatty deposits expand. This happens for everyone at different points and can be especially dependent on self care. You can't stop aging but with enough money, free time, and discipline you can delay it.
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 11:34 PM
41

Can you describe the men you're getting ghosted by a bit more? I suspect you're picking guys just interested in sex, but it could also be value demonstration related!
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/22 03:56 AM
1

Been waiting to get wild for my future husband. I always felt like real commitment would help me feel at ease and amorous enough to up the intensity but I'm getting tired of waiting 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/22 02:47 PM
1

I think they don't come into play for generating initial attraction, just making it easier to maintain it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/22 12:51 AM
2

Yes! That's the plan! Right now I'm just trying to get everything down, then break it into categories (Appearance/SMV, personality, relationship skills, and life skills.) After that I'm going to put in what good indicators of each trait look like in real life, or the 'ideal' (not that it's perfectly achievable), then actions I can take to improve each trait as I continue on my journey.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/22 08:40 PM
3

This is what I have so far! Playful Kind Responsible Funny Loyal Honest Confident Intelligent Outgoing Supportive Passionate Nurturing Vulnerable Tactful Disciplined Stable Collaborative Easygoing Accountable Organized Clean Quirky Creative Affectionate Receptive Classy Polite Ethical Optimistic Friendly Listener Diplomatic Compassionate Frugal Engaging Fashionable Hardworking Independent Ambitious Reasonable Calm Humble Tasteful Empathetic Curious Warm Adventurous Open-Minded Sociable Driven Se…
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/22 07:52 PM
0

My best friend is a 5'10" amazon babe -- especially in heels -- so we also look super weird. I guess I'm used to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 09:03 PM
11

We met, got along really well, laughed a lot, discovered we had similar interests, goals and values. The usual.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 08:59 PM
15

Yes. My SO's have ranged from 6'8" to 5'4". Current bf is 6'4" Granted, I'm 5'0" . Everyone is taller than me and I always get to feel petite and cute, so I've never even thought about height. I'm sure this is different for taller ladies. Edit: there seems to be some confusion. By 'yes'I mean, I would contently date any height because there's not that big of a difference from my POV. Down here, everyone is tall. A height requirement on my part would be ridiculous. Besides that, people don't choo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/22 02:32 PM
2

I dress and behave very "preppy," but my interests tend to lean nerd and jock/outdoor enthusiast.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 08:22 PM
2

Exactly! There are so many possibilities for this but it's one of the reasons -- including cost of 0.5 ml filler (~ $350) vs 4 units of botox (~ $75) every six months -- that I think for some people the lip flip can be a better option. It really depends on underlying structure, how much tension the individual puts in their upper lip, tendency to perse, etc. though. So mileage will vary.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/22 10:26 PM
1

After several rounds of use, filler in the upper lip can be aging as the weight of additional material drags down the upper lip and extends the philtrum. This happens naturally as we age even without filler, and it might be what you're seeing. This is why the lip flip (releasing the muscle and allowing the natural structure to fill out,) is becoming more popular. I'm not sure about nasolabial folds. I suspect there are a few possibilities: thin lips can coincide with thin facial fat pads overall…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/22 09:55 AM
10

I know a lady lawyer (partner, even!) who dated a fire extinguisher technician. Evidently er dream since she was young was to marry a firefighter and he used to do wildland firefighting. He wasn't rolling in it, but she was still extremely happy with him and always giddy about his background and job. So "down" in terms of income/education was never a concern of hers from her frame of wanting a particular type of partner.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/22 10:55 PM
10

For Cleaning: Honestly, investing in technology has made the biggest difference for me. I have a Dyson V8 Animal+ and it's made vacuuming an absolute pleasure. I will never go back. A Roomba and a Braava can keep things LOOKING clean until you can deep clean them. ESPECIALLY if you have very active furry friends. The Roomba claims you can empty it every 60 days but with a farm dog it's more like every week. A sonic cleaning brush. One for the kitchen, one for the bathrooms. They are life changin…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/22 05:35 PM
3

Find ways to keep my focus on my femininity. I've found myself slipping into critical, masculine mindsets a lot lately and I think a big part of it is my job. Keep up on my new Olaplex and moisture regimens weekly. 50 squats every morning Have more fun and philosophical conversations with loved ones. At least twice a week.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/22 06:37 PM
1

This. I would love to be dedicated to my home and family, but the financial burden it might put on my SO would be less than ideal.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 03:54 AM
4

My current Lineup: Wonderful! - wholesome, uplifting content Life Kit - good info Freakonomics Radio - good info, not often personally applicable Awesome Etiquette - etiquette and behavior Charisma Quotient - charisma, personal conduct No Such Thing As A Fish - science and fun uplifting material Speaking of Psychology - interesting tidbits Laura Doyle - relationships Esther Perel - relationships Glowing Up - beauty The Simple Sophisticate - lifestyle info Philosophize This! - good info Can I Pet…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/21 04:12 PM
4

I had a time period where I wasn't into anyone. For almost a year I had no desire to date at all so even if someone was amazing and interested, I was inaccessible. I may have missed out on some great potential partners, but once I was ready I found my next steady partner pretty quickly. I'm happy where I ended up.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:30 PM
9

I've had feet in both camps and discovered both around the same time but gravitated towards RPW because I prefer a more traditional family structure. FDS also had a lot less actual relationship information? A great resource for vetting advice but not much for when you're actually with someone or how to deal with bumps in the road other than, "dump the scrote." I've dumped a lot of guys, for sometimes silly reasons. I'm currently wrestling with the reality that I might be a commitmentphobe and my…
/r/RedPillWives10/09/21 06:33 AM
2

Food is my biggest sin right now. I cook at home mostly but I'm also part of a big volunteer group and we eat out together a lot and go to little game night fundraisers at local breweries. Food... and books, but I'm trying to patron my city library more.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/21 03:38 PM
2

I'm using the snowball method! I'm two months away from getting one of my payments completed and am weirdly excited to see that money go towards the next big payment!
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/21 03:34 PM
5

This is awesome insight! I really like the categorization, too. I think I can cut it in half in under a year at this point but it's still really frustrating to be putting so much of my income towards it instead of saving and building. I told him about it straight up when he wanted to have the exclusivity talk because I would hope for the same transparency it if were me. Everything I've dealt with, and everything I've been doing to reconcile it.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/21 05:17 AM
2

I utilized the original Vindicta because I REALLY have to invest in my SMV as much as possible if I intend to marry and start a family. It's been extraordinarily motivating and helpful,though I wouldn't say it's an honest rating because it's still prone to softening the blow and avoiding any genuine criticism unless there's a REALLY blatant issue. I honestly went with a Qoves analysis because people are restrained by guilt and most don't have enough experience with human aesthetics to know what …
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/21 06:01 AM
0

Would love to learn more about vetting.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 01:50 AM
2

That's pretty much what I'm looking for since it's not helpful to just hear folks like Mrs Midwest just talk about being feminine. I'd rather be exposed to more practical, realtime behavior
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/21 06:41 AM
13

These are all lovely people, but I feel like these are better resources for learning the how/why about feminine behavior; they're not really observed interacting with others or going about their days very often. When they are, it's usually an interview style thing making very specific points. The majority of their interactions are with a camera, just talking at it and about themselves/their ideas. All good content, for sure! Personally I'm looking for more dynamic examples of day to day interact…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/21 08:47 PM
3

Agreed! I think my job makes me a bit jaded, too. I can't leave right now but I'm really trying to focus on feeling good! I'm just very stilted and reserved.
/r/RedPillWives15/07/21 04:11 AM
1

I really want to be more playful and expressive but I'm not sure how to learn that.
/r/RedPillWives15/07/21 02:02 AM
7

Everyone is unique and has a lot to offer, and so, so much potential! And that IS beautiful, but there are aspects to physical beauty that are objective and have a direct impact on a persons romantic desirability and experiences. It sucks but I think it's worth admitting and facing so we can uplift each other and help improve those experiences for all of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 04:10 AM
18

I don't understand why female oriented subs promote so much toxic positivity. It only hurts us in the long run,and if we can't help and uplift each other by admitting thay we can do better to meet our goals and even possibly excel beyond them, what is the actual point of "female positive spaces"? They aren't female positive. They're blindly, falsely, and toxically positive at the expense of real growth and wellbeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 04:00 AM
2

Oh my goodness I was just browsing this thread casually but reading this made me smile so much and my heart swell. Being the kind of warm and lovely presence in the world that makes people feel good is amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 03:53 AM
1

I attract a lot of potential partners but they tend to string me along and my relationships never lead to the kind of commitment I value. I usually get sidelined for a more attractive opportunity. I've been picking myself apart and improving physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, and financially every way I possibly can to be more appealing and better at dating. We'll see how it goes! Edit: before I get hit with "standards too high" my exes were definitely not Chads.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/21 10:20 PM
2

I see! This gives me hope. I've always had a RPW mindset -- or something close to it -- but of four serious relationships, I've never inspired a commitment. So clearly something is up and I'm really struggling to identify if the problem is my behavior or if I'm picking the wrong men. I don't think it's the latter since they'll clearly commit to other women. There has to be something I'm doing wrong and no one has been able to help me pinpoint it yet. :(
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 05:54 PM
1

I would definitely say it's some insecurity and uncertainty on my part.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 05:01 PM
2

Yes! We talk about it pretty often.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 07:09 AM
3

I see! I figured it was more of a, "let a man lead" kind of thing in my mind, but this makes sense, too.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 05:50 AM
0

Nope. I planned on waiting for him to say it first.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 05:07 AM
1

Yes, and it scares the snot out of me.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 05:02 AM
3

Dating (super liked me on app and initiated convo then went on to set up first date), first kiss, exclusivity, sex, sexting, etc. All initiated by him. He met my mother briefly by chance because she came to check on me the night my car broke down. He's talked about taking me to meet his family but has not specified when. When he asked about exclusivity I did inform him that I'm pretty freaked out by the idea by being tethered to anyone that wasn't going to be my last relationship. He assured me …
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 04:45 AM
2

What's a reasonable time frame for 28 and 31? Both financially stable and socially established.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 04:32 AM
0

I think he's had his fun and is ready. He is LEGITIMATELY excited to be a dad. Literally offhanded remark when we were laying in bed one evening talking about nicknames was, "if I have a daughter, I'm going to call her my sunshine." But I've heard that when men get to this stage there's usually a girl they practice on first? Then they marry the next woman. I'm sure it's different for everyone so I want to make sure it's not happening to me.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 04:04 AM
2

I absolutely agree that one cannot make someone marry them! I'm a big believer though that the only common denominator in ones problems is themselves. I've had three LTRs, and none of them resulted in marriage. Meanwhile people I know are getting married left and right, so logically, there is something missing in my mindset or behavior, no?
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 03:50 AM
3

Women, mostly.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 03:46 AM
7

I know it doesn't determine my worth but all I've ever wanted to be is a wife and mother. I'm sort of invested in achieving this goal. Especially since it doesn't seem all that unrealistic.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 02:36 AM
5

I think I'm willing to bring it up but if I can figure it out for myself without bringing up emotionally intense topics out of the blue with him I think it would be healthier.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 02:34 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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