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Throwaway230306 Archive

View 3 posts and 397 comments by Throwaway230306 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
88

FIELD REPORTThrowaway230306/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 06:11 PM
23

DISCUSSIONThrowaway230306/r/RedPillWomen20/08/21 05:48 PM
12

DISCUSSIONThrowaway230306/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 08:14 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

I've never dated a guy who played video games and I still instinctively hate gaming. 😀 I think women feel that gaming is a hobby that doesn't make a man "better" physically, socially or intellectually, except in maybe fairly unusual circumstances (pro gamer, etc). Burden of performance.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 04:44 PM
5

Thanks, I appreciate your comment. Yeah, I was trying to apply the advice over on RPW to my own situation, and I know RP types get super excited about weight loss and lifting, but not sure how you can "have" a man do this or that, especially if he doesn't really want to do it. I'm not nearly as well versed in weight loss as a lot of people here, but I can't help but suspect that there's a genetic component to how easily someone can keep weight off, plus a psychological aspect. Re the latter: my …
/r/RedPillWives18/05/22 04:19 PM
8

Minor vent: I'm seeing posts on RPW about how to encourage men to lose weight, with a lot of well- meaning advice along the lines of have him do this and have him do that (eat healthy, fast, exercise, etc.) But unless he wants to do this stuff, it's all no good, and you can inspire man only up to a point. My husband isn't quite fat but definitely gained weight in the time we've been together. He's well aware of it and doesn't like it. It probably stung when one of our kids said "daddy, you have …
/r/RedPillWives18/05/22 02:44 PM
2

We learn a bit about Karenin"s background and how he came to be married to Anna at some point in the novel, I think it's in the next section. I have a lot of sympathy for Karenin, I think he's the most morally pure and righteous character in the entire book. I'd rather be married to a guy like him than to Levin, who carries a whiff of self-righteous moralism. I think Tolstoy's wife said that Levin is an idealized version of Tolstoy himself. And while I very much admire Tolstoy as a literary geni…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/22 04:36 PM
3

I read Anna Karenina a few years ago and feel kind of distant from it now, but I'm enjoying these writeups. Thanks for doing this. All he asked way for her to be discreet, and that’s a pretty generous offer from a man who is busy professionally. It wouldn’t take much for her to carry on the affair, especially with her friend Betsy’s enabling of the situation. But that’s not good enough. She just keeps pushing it further. My cynical opinion is that if Anna had kept to the unspoken rules of her so…
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/22 03:10 PM
4

I think it's a more-or-less accurate description of gender/sex dynamics. Even when RP is wrong, it's still closer to being right than anything else out there in the mainstream right now.
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/22 08:04 PM
3

It's finally hot and sunny here in the Midwest...and it's putting me in a meh mood. I guess I prefer a gray landscape, a bit of rain and cooler temperatures. There's an obnoxious energy to hot, bright weather. I didn't feel like this when I was younger. Sunny days, get off my lawn.
/r/RedPillWives12/05/22 02:48 AM
2

After my first child, more, a lot more, anti-abortion. For the first time, I felt some understanding and sympathy for the Catholic case against abortion and birth control. But after 3 kids, I went back to my usual neutral attitude/soft pro-choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 04:32 PM
3

Thanks for writing about this issue without sanctimony. Seriously, I've been reading red pill stuff for close to 14 years now (😱), and there's not a lot of women with both life experience and the ability to talk to women peer-to-peer instead of from above. So, thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/22 06:02 PM
2

What I tried to achieve with these posts is to strip the underlying principles from my specific family heritage. Because you don't have my upbringing, it isn't actionable advice for me to suggest that you act like me. But hopefully, there can be some lessons that you can derive and apply the parts you like, to your own life. Yes, I think that's a good approach!
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 07:36 PM
7

I personally, don't have to be the norm. OP, if you're comfortable talking about it, I'm curious about your background and how you came to get married at 22/23 as a virgin. Did you grow up in a religious or a traditional community where couples did not have sex before marriage? In that case, the land where you built your house came with a solid picket fence, a gate, and a town hall that that gave you boundaries and a clear path. If, however, you grew up in mainstream western culture where even m…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/22 02:06 PM
5

Sounds like the manic pixie dream girl feminine persona--the pixie dream girl part with the smallest dash of the manic. 😃 https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/rktdrk/the_power_of_the_manic_pixie_dream_girl/
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/22 02:08 AM
12

I've been trying to put a finger on why you're getting pushback on this post and some of your other writing, even though the points you're making are totally valid. A few thoughts: -More examples from your personal life would be great. Your tea example, and Sunshine's hypothetical about homework are really good and add color to the theory. -You don't address the issue of what a woman should do if she doesn't really like spending time with her husband. I mean, if he's that great, shouldn't she wa…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/22 10:29 PM
4

I've been to several mom/baby groups in my area that are specifically for moms of infants. Your child doesn't need to be ready to play with other kids, these groups are great for meeting other new moms, chatting about postpartum issues, etc. If you're interested in breastfeeding, La Leche League would for sure welcome an expectant mom, and a lot of its members seem to be sahms. MOPS International might be up your alley, it's a Christian based network of mom groups.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/22 07:15 PM
1

Well, this is a spicy post! Some shower thoughts... I mean, de Beauvoir is kind of right when she says women shouldn't have a choice because they'll make the wrong one. She's just incorrect about what the real wrong choice is. 😃 If pushing women into sexual liberation and high-status careers is socially harmful, as antifeminists, argue, why should women have that choice? They shouldn't. Too many women will make the choice to pursue hard power and sexual freedom instead of marriage and motherhood…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/22 01:00 AM
3

My mom complained for years that my dad wasn't emotional enough. "It's like living with a stone statue!" And it's true that he comes off as a very aloof, closed off person, who shows emotion mostly when he's arguing--and he loves to argue and prove his opponent wrong. When my mom talks about men who do show emotion (husbands of a few of her girlfriend, her own father), the traits these guys have are: easy-going, good-natured, warm and open personality, quick to laugh and smile (as opposed to my …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 01:39 PM
2

Motherhood gives women moral righteousness and a perception of saintliness that's entirely unavailable to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 06:16 PM
1

This is excellent, here's the answer. The stuff about the toolbox--to me, that applies to this sub avoiding one specific lifestyle recommendation. Do you need to be a church-going sahm or some such to benefit from RPW? No.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/22 01:36 PM
2

"Nowadays"! Never, never marry, my dear fellow! That's my advice: never marry till you can say to yourself that you have done all you are capable of, and until you have ceased to love the woman of your choice and have seen her plainly as she is, or else you will make a cruel and irrevocable mistake. Marry when you are old and good for nothing- or all that is good and noble in you will be lost. It will all be wasted on trifles. Yes! Yes! Yes! Don't look at me with such surprise. If you marry expe…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 08:33 PM
3

I dislike how feminism pushes women into activism and hard power. I don't think OP's example is feminism, though. It's women being women, the eternal female social matrix with modern lingo.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/22 12:36 AM
1

Totally okay, assuming it's prior to 1900: "Out of the thousands of men who marry, not only among us, but also among the people, scarcely will you find a single one who has not previously married at least ten times... “And all know it, and pretend not to know it. In all the novels are described down to the smallest details the feelings of the characters, the lakes and brambles around which they walk; but, when it comes to describing their great love, not a word is breathed of what He, the intere…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 04:20 PM
1

There are plenty of polygamous societies in the world that are peaceful and wealthy. Why? They follow principles that reap benefits for years to come. Men having multiple WIVES in other cultures has been proven to be successful for them. How? Just look at the richest people in the world. THEY practice polygamy and build huge, strong families with wealth and power ready to pass on to their children. Could you list some societies and people or families that follow this model? I'd like to learn mor…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/22 03:47 PM
9

Here ya go! https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/rktdrk/the_power_of_the_manic_pixie_dream_girl/
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/22 01:37 PM
19

I think this is part of an overall late 20th century social trend to shine a light on the vagaries of all aspects of life, including motherhood. Where in the past women would try to put on a good face and a public appearance of happy motherhood, they now feel free to be "real." In addition, I think the hot mess mom stuff is partly a backlash against the mommy influencer culture of the past decade where you see a very glossy and idealistic version of motherhood (e.g. Instagram). Finally, all this…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/22 01:15 AM
39

I don't think this is right. Men are far more idealistic and romantic than women, that includes red pill men. (Scratch a red pill man's crusty shell and you'll often find a soft blue center.) I think men generally marry for love, or what they perceive as love. They might be sadly mistaken, but that's a different issue. Some men might marry a forever girlfriend who js nagging for marriage, and marrying her is less of a hassle than looking for a new lover. I can't imagine that Western men face any…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/22 04:54 AM
13

In the Western, post-sexual revolution world, compatibility includes sexual and emotional chemistry, aka love.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/22 04:21 AM
2

Yeah. I've been reading the news a lot for the past three weeks and I certainly have a sense of doom, depression, and a general WTF?? :/
/r/RedPillWives15/03/22 12:03 AM
6

I make big batches of everything. I freeze leftovers. We eat the same thing for days straight. I made bone broth yesterday, so I cooked a TON of rice in bone broth. Then I braised some beef. Lunch for both of us the next 4 days or so is rice and beef. Which is fine, we like being healthy and we don't mind it being boring. Lots of good advice here, and I want to call out this tip in particular. As much as foodie culture taught people to cook fresh, healthy and varied food, it also set up unreason…
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/22 04:39 AM
1

If you feel that being alone is great or desirable, please indicate your age. I will disregard all responses from people under 50. Thx.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/22 01:51 PM
2

Well, I have three and we're done (age, money). If we had started earlier and had more money, maaaybe we'd consider four, but probably not. We're middle-middle class in the Midwest, and at three kids people start raising their eyebrows. Like, Oh...you're having a...third?" When my husband and I told our parents about pregnancy #3, the moms were all smiles but our dads were grim, shocked. My FIL didn't say anything for 30 minutes and then told my husband he needs a second job. (They've come aroun…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 03:17 PM
1

I agree, and this is an argument that comes up a lot on all the normie parenting and mommy subs. ("Where is the village???") But then, those same people will write stuff like "My mom/MIL said she wants to come and stay for a month after I give birth and I said No Waaaaaaaay!!!! Boundaries!!!!!!" I would say that not only do we need the community, but people must be willing to share their kids and home to some extent with that community, and that's a big no-go in Western cultures. My mom grew up …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 03:46 PM
1

Something seems seriously wrong in all this. If we want women to have more kids, we can't make it this hard. There's a book by French feminist Elisabeth Badinter (can't recall the name offhand) that makes this argument, more or less. Argues for women to take less interest in children and reject the culture of intense middle class mommy-ing, to raise birthrates and encourage motherhood. It's been a while since I read it so I might be foggy on her exact thesis, but it's an interesting argument for…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 03:19 PM
5

I'm married now and not looking for male attention, but when I was younger I didn't get it due to: Very average looks, extreme shyness and social awkwardness, no social circle, fear of showing IOIs to men, rarely going places where men hit on women (bars, clubs, parties). Social media was still in its early stages and I rarely shared selfies anyway because I was self conscious about my looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 03:36 PM
10

For the first time since spring 2013, I'm not pregnant or breastfeeding. I don't want any more babies but I'm a bit sad that this part of my life is over.
/r/RedPillWives23/02/22 02:47 PM
4

He feels like you are important, like you have a place in his life. He feels like he doesn't want to be with anyone else. He feels like he wants to protect you and ensure the best for you and your shared life together. This is our target, we want to inspire him to FEEL like you are THE woman for him. That's a lot of feelz, where are the realz? 🤪 Snark aside, this is a good post and I keep coming back to this paragraph. In my LTRs, when my boyfriends intended to take the relationship to the next …
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 01:46 AM
1

Yes, she wrote a book about it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sexual_Life_of_Catherine_M.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/22 08:14 PM
1

I've been reading pill stuff since 2007/2008 (God help me) when I found the Roissy in DC blog. I've lurked on various blogs/forums since then, ppd is the latest stop. Maybe the last! I like reading about gender dynamics from a red or purple perspective. Even before getting into the pills, the two books that really fascinated me were Camille Paglia's Sexual Personae and Laclos' Dangerous Liaisons, which cover this territory.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 10:03 PM
2

There's r/redpillparenting, two of the mods seem familiar, I believe they're trp biggies. But it's a pretty dead sub.
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/22 03:52 PM
0

Michel Houellebecq, Elementary Particles: "n reality, men don’t give a damn about their kids, they never really love them.... There used to be a time when, late in life, a man would come to feel a certain affection for his spouse—though not before she’d borne his children, made a home for them, cooked, cleaned and proved herself in the bedroom... It was probably not what the women were looking for, and it might even have been a delusion—but it could be a powerful feeling. Strong enough that even…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 02:54 PM
6

I have an easy corporate job (let's be honest, kind of a bs job) and three kids. I've pretty much mommy tracked myself. I won't be getting any promotions, but I don't want them. I want a steady salary, decent health insurance, and a good work-life balance, all of which my job provides. My husband works for himself and has a lot of flexibility in his schedule, and for a long time my parents and mother in law watched the kids during the day, especially when the first two were babies. This was supe…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/22 10:31 PM
3

I highly recommend the book A Farewell to Alms: An Economic History of the World by Gregory Clark. He cites various sources and records re: marital ages since the 17th century in northwestern Europe, and the average age for women was surprisingly high throughout the centuries. Also, sizeable number of women didn't marry at all and remained celibate, judging by records on illegitimacy. Cc u/baresquad
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 04:23 PM
1

Maybe women were always like that. 1840, 2022, what's the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 06:36 PM
3

Hey, want to trade based observations by old-timers? I got a good one, from Hero of our Time, Lermontov, 1840: I remember that once a woman loved me simply because I was in love with another woman. There is nothing more paradoxical than the female mind; it is difficult to convince a woman of anything; they have to be led into convincing themselves. The order of the proofs by which they demolish their prejudices is most original; to learn their dialectic it is necessary to overthrow in your own m…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 06:05 PM
8

Let's have a laugh: Why can't a woman be more like a man?/ Men are so honest, so thoroughly square;/ Eternally noble, historically fair./ Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat./ Why can't a woman be like that? http://www.reelclassics.com/Musicals/Fairlady/lyrics/fairlady-whycantawoman.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 09:33 PM
4

Sentimentality about the past and namalt (overcorrecting feminism's men=bad with men=honey bunnies).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 08:14 PM
-3

For me personally, because I acknowledge male nature I practice gender segregation in my life. I don’t have male friends, I don’t end up alone with men, I don’t make physical contact except a hand shake, I definitely don’t drink with men because I acknowledge that men will seek sex in any situation including a non consensual one. This was standard, traditional behavior for respectable women before 1900. I don't quite understand the vitriol against OP. Now, a single woman today who's trying to me…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/22 06:30 PM
–

Heard in the French tv show Call My Agent (Netflix): A relationship that's shorter than three years is not yet a relationship. It's a romantic comedy. True?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/22 03:12 PM
2

Married for a decade, three kids. I'm very happy. I think my husband and I are very well matched, we both enjoy family life, and we've been fortunate not to experience any major relationship stressors. Even with kids and parenting, things just kind of fell into place for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 03:25 PM
2

Hey there Vladimir Mayakovsky https://images.app.goo.gl/r9DPBaJfx6nnsvnP6
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 10:18 PM
2

But it's kind of ironic because Kitty's mom was pushing Kitty toward Vronsky who had no intention of marrying... So if Kitty's mom had more of a say would it have really ended much differently? Yes, that's a fair point! I guess Vronsky never gave the impression that he would not marry, so the default for courting a young girl is that he would. I guess you could ask if Vronsky was wrong to do so (there's a passage, I think, on this but I can't dig it up now). It's still a relevant issue--is it wr…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/22 05:10 PM
2

I think everyone is play-acting with this traditional business. There's no being traditional in mainstream western society, unless you're part of some extremely religious group. Traditionally, the woman stays home so she can help the husband work the family farm. Or work alongside the husband, under his supervision, in his trade (done at or near the home, the factory/office is not traditional). In addition, she will care for the home (which traditionally, before labor saving devices and electric…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 02:57 PM
2

Take it away, Michel Houellebecq (from Elementary Particles): In reality, men don’t give a damn about their kids, they never really love them... There used to be a time when... Children existed solely to inherit a man’s trade, his moral code and his property. This was taken for granted among the aristocracy, but merchants, craftsmen and peasants also bought into the idea, so it became the norm at every level of society. That’s all gone now: I work for someone else, I rent my apartment from someo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 08:11 PM
1

We have to recall that in this time period and Christian culture, infidelity or even divorce were strictly frowned upon and maybe even forbidden in some respects I agree with most of your comments, especially re: Oblonsky. He's a very funny character and people just like him. Like, the servants are on his side after news of his affair with the governess comes out! He's a bad husband and father, but he's a fun, affable guy. Regarding infidelity, I think divorce was almost a bigger issue than adul…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 07:40 PM
4

Nice writeup! I was struck by how confusing and difficult it was to date/court/marry. We have this perception that back in the day, it was easy for earnest betas like Levin and nice girls like Kitty. And what happens? Levin is friend zoned by Kitty, she is turn attempts to get commitment from Vronsky, who is out of her league, and is rejected...dare I say...alpha widowed? Wow, sounds familiar. (Like someone else noted, these days Kitty would get pumped and dumped by Vronsky, so at least she's pr…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/22 06:51 PM
1

"Women ought to wish that all men knew them as well as I because I have loved them a hundred times better since I have ceased to be afraid of them and have comprehended their little weaknesses." Hero of our Time, Lermontov, 1840
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 06:39 PM
–

Do you think Shalamov's observations about criminals apply to male behavior as a whole?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 07:47 PM
–

Yeah, lots of fascinating stuff in his stories about criminals. According to Shalamov, criminals and camp management were in cahoots against the political prisoners, both informally and formally.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 06:38 PM
–

Ah ha, I was waiting for the first "based!" comment, there it is! Shalamov was writing about Russian criminals nearly a century ago, but I suspect that most of his observations about criminals and women are universal and timeless.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 06:34 PM
–

I've been reading Varlam Shalamov, a Russian author who spent nearly two decades in Gulag camps as a political prisoner in the 1930s and 40s. I thought his essay on women of the criminal world (emphasis on career criminals, not fellow political prisoners) was pretty interesting, some highlights below. -The criminal attitude toward women is extremely cynical, crude, and unsentimental. -For criminals, women are whores (temporary girlfriends) or sidekicks. The first group is by far the largest. The…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 05:11 PM
4

If you're talking about women, specifically...Was there ever a time when women told each other the truth? What was that time? A woman who "tells it like it is" will be considered caustic and has to take whatever social consequences come along with that. A mother can tell her daughter the truth, which the daughter will ignore. Or, a woman can be beyond caring about social consequences, in which case she usually needs to be old and have social clout that she built up in her younger decades. The no…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/22 04:33 PM
3

Wasn't BB marriage / AF adultery a thing before 1900, but done really quietly and discreetly? The discretion and hypocrisy are key to this arrangement, they are the glue that holds civilization together. Get rid of them and you get what we have now! Let's hear some advice to a rich young woman who's pining for a working class Chad in a story by TRP endorsed contributor Anton Chekhov. From A Woman's Kingdom, 1894. Marriage to some dumbo gives the cover of respectability, but after that, a woman g…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 03:15 PM
5

In my teens and until my late 20s, I was a super shy, bookish, socially awkward weirdo. Now I'm a normie suburban Midwestern wife and mom. I'm very happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 07:45 PM
11

I thought it was more like pretty young women without a dowry, bohemian women like actresses, dancers, singers, etc., or "professional" women like governesses, nannies, domestic servants, who could also fall into the first group. Lady Emma Hamilton is a good historical example of a very successful mistress, the equivalent of a top OF creator of her day. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma,_Lady_Hamilton
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 04:41 PM
2

I think this is a very realistic comment. In general, men aren't interested in the minutiae of housekeeping and childcare--good men, bad men, it doesn't matter. I'd add that in my own family, my husband does all the traditional "man" chores--yard, car, handyman stuff, lawn, snow plowing, etc. I don't touch that stuff, ever, and he doesn't ask me to, he just does it. I'm very grateful for that. Also, I'd encourage women to simply do less, unless you like a particular task (I will make homemade st…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:09 PM
7

When I was single I thought dating was chaotic and confusing, so it gives me comfort that Tolstoy was saying pretty much the same thing in Anna Karenina about the courtship scene. 😊 She saw that girls of Kitty’s age formed some sort of clubs, went to some sort of lectures, mixed freely in men’s society; drove about the streets alone....and, what was the most important thing, all the girls were firmly convinced that to choose their husbands was their own affair, and not their parents’.... But how…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:45 AM
2

"....Those comforting, long-winded laments in which women use words rather like cigarettes to allay life’s little miseries...." Honore de Balzac, Cousin Bette, 1846
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:19 AM
–

I have three, and the first two are 20 months apart. Once they turned 4 and 5, life got easier. Then we had a third... though life is still way easier with two older kids and a toddler than a baby and a toddler. But, yeah, there's still some stuff that's hard to do with all the kids and a decade devoted to early childhood stuff seems pretty accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 05:01 PM
–

Picked up some of my old hobbies once the kids turned 4 or 5.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 04:50 PM
7

My first boyfriend was from a former USSR "Stan" country and insisted on paying (edit: this "stan" has a patriarchal culture). He felt very strongly about the man paying for everything in dating. But there was a flip side: he also refused to reveal anything about his finances to me even when we were living together and talking about marriage, and he wouldn't have lifted a finger in the home had we married and had kids. I don't think that paying for dates, especially in the early stages, is a goo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/22 04:48 PM
2

I think this is an excellent comment! It very nicely explains why rpw doesn't seem to "work" for women who apply it to bad or badly chosen men. And, yes, for all its focus on femininity, I've often felt that rpw is a masculine space because of the actionable nature of the advice. And you explain why that is!
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/22 02:27 PM
1

He has that masculine je ne sais quoi that is hard to describe but women know it when they see it. It's a combo of a masculine build, height, frame, where an ugly face almost enhances the overall impression. In fiction, it's the Mr. Rochester type man, who's described as ugly throughout Jane Eyre but still remains a dark romantic heartthrob.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/22 12:29 AM
3

It's TRP sidebar material and also very funny!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 03:14 PM
2

"What is the meanest way you could break up with a girl after you’ve had sex with her." One tires of every thing, my angel! It is a law of nature; it is not my fault. If, for example, I had just as much love as you had virtue, and that's saying a great deal, it is not at all surprising that one should end with the other; it is not my fault. Take my advice, choose another lover, as I have another mistress—The advice is good; if you think otherwise, it is not my fault. Farewell, my angel! I took y…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 02:52 AM
2

Well, I don't disagree. I expect that my husband will cry when our beloved, aging dog dies (like he says, she's his first bitch 🤪) It will not kill my attraction and you bet I will show empathy. But to me, there's a huuge difference between that and a man crying over a sad movie on a second date. I gotta say, I'm in my late 30s, and I have never seen a grown man cry besides the second date man and my dad the day his mother died. So women sharing these examples of their men literally crying about…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 06:27 PM
2

I wonder if someone with a background in literature or art can weigh in on the social acceptance of male tears during the Romanticism movement. u/smurfeamurferson, maybe? I answered my own question: https://aeon.co/essays/whatever-happened-to-the-noble-art-of-the-manly-weep Tldr: the industrial revolution killed male tears.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 04:34 PM
14

I don't typically answer Q4W for this very reason, but the responses show me, yet again, that men really don't like it when women are honest about their attraction and that men are, like, 1000x more sentimental, idealistic, and romantic than women. (At least middle class educated men who hang out in internet forums like this one.) There's a Rollo Tomassi aphorism about women being pragmatists disguised as romantics and men being romantics disguised as pragmatists, and it's the stone cold truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 04:10 PM
5

You are correct that I wasn't into him. But, my husband, who I am very much into, is an emotional guy, far more than me, and I've never seen him cry. Why does male emotion have to equal male tears?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 03:35 PM
5

It was so rude of me that I dated him for three years!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 03:16 PM
12

A man once cried on a second date with me after we watched a movie where the main character's dad died. We walked out of the theater and I was thinking the movie was pretty meh and he was wiping his eyes. (He hadn't experienced a death in his family, btw, he just thought the movie was sad. His own dad was alive and well.) The crying definitely weirded me out. We dated for three years, it was a disaster of a relationship. He was the bluest, most beta man I've ever met (and to this day I think it'…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/22 03:05 PM
1

The story Family Happiness is a good example (80 pages or so). It's a look at a young woman's courtship and marriage from the initial infatuation, honeymoon period, disillusionment with married life, and finally, coming to terms with true family happiness. It's Tolstoy's answer to people who feel their relationship is getting boring. I don't know if I like his solution, but he makes a good argument. In general, though, I think the Death of Ivan Ilyich is considered the best intro to Tolstoy (100…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/22 03:57 AM
5

"Indeed, if first loves appear in general more virtuous and, as they say, more chaste; if they are at least slower in their progress; it is not, as people think, from delicacy or timidity, but because the heart, surprised by an unknown sentiment, hesitates as it were at every step to enjoy the charm it feels, and because this charm is so powerful upon a fresh heart that it forgets every other pleasure." Dangerous Liaisons, Laclos, 1780
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 10:21 PM
1

Sounds pretty cool. Related visual (nsfw-ish): https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Boilly_La_Toilette_intime_ou_la_Rose_effeuill%C3%A9e.jpg
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/22 01:28 AM
11

Take the Pechorin pill! "However passionately I love a woman, if she only gives me to feel that I have to marry her—then farewell, love! My heart is turned to stone, and nothing will warm it anew. I am prepared for any other sacrifice but that; my life twenty times over, nay, my honour I would stake on the fortune of a card... but my freedom I will never sell." Hero of our Time, 1840
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/22 05:02 PM
8

I'll put in a plug for the Anna Karenina read along that u/JanuaryArya is hosting (can you tell I'm excited about it?). Since you started with classic lit, thhere are some good examples of what you're looking for in Tolstoy. The example of Kitty and her arc in Anna Karenina is one, and an even better one is princess Marya in War and Peace. She's a great example of Tolstoy's idealized woman and she's a very well-written character.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/22 12:32 AM
2

Aw, thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/22 08:54 PM
35

let me make i clear that arranged marriages are not forced marriages. You get to decide what type of partner you want and it's the people getting married that get to decide if they want to go ahead with the wedding. That sounds like Western middle class courtship before 1900, when a young woman would socialize (chaperoned, of course) with appropriate men from her class/mileu. Pros: Family helps you find and vet a partner, no pressure to do anything sexual, and the end game is crystal clear: marr…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/22 05:14 PM
5

OP is a great example of a modern-day Mr Collins looking for his Charlotte Lucas, who, unfortunately, doesn't exist anymore. And I do think it's unfortunate that a sexually unappealing but respectable man like OP can't find long term romantic companionship, it's very hard for them. A good dose of TRP would help this man.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/22 06:08 PM
2

I don't worry about my daughter (8), she's pretty, naturally outgoing, social, and is already starting to get giggly about boys. If anything, I will encourage her not to start her sexual life too early. My son, 6, is a quieter, shyer kid, and is one of the smaller kids in his class. My husband and I have tried to get him into various sports but the one he really seems to take to is hockey. We're pretty excited about this (husband has played all his life). I think playing a tough team sport and l…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 11:21 PM
3

It's available on Gutenberg, though I don't know if it's in a reader-friendly format: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/1399
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/22 05:50 PM
1

In classic literature, maybe Jane Eyre.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/22 02:01 PM
3

Thanks for doing this, I loved Anna Karenina! Happy to follow along. No one in Anna Karenina is really a role model for how to be an RP man or woman, they're all messed up in their own way. 😀 All my favorite RP-themed classic novels are examples of what not to do rather than what to do, probably because flawed people create more interesting conflict and drama.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/22 03:11 AM
5

Yeah, I think it's easy to get way off track about the red pill if you start assigning a specific lifestyle to the rpw (although I do recognize that a lot of women here are aiming for the sahm life with a traditional-ish man). A woman who's a childfree tattoo artist, for example, can use the tools we talk about here in her relationship just as well as anyone else. And I also think that all successful, sexually charged hetero relationships are red pilled to some extent, even if the people in them…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/22 05:48 AM
1

My husband has a relative who was a competitive gymnast as a teen. Then he quit and got into mountain climbing. He seems to have one cute girlfriend after another but dumps them when they want to get serious because a man's gotta climb. Outwardly, he's a friendly, progressive, good natured guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/22 09:34 PM
21

I think the red pill accurately (more or less) describes gender and sexual dynamics.
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/22 04:00 PM
2

Men, please deliver this monologue with the panache of Adam Scott in The Vicious Kind: https://youtu.be/uhs6giNfvmY (OP's post starts at 0:55)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/21 11:09 PM
5

"The female body’s unbearable hiddenness applies to all aspects men’s dealings with women. What does it look like in there? Did she have an orgasm? Is it really my child? Who was my real father? Mystery surrounds women’s sexuality. This mystery is the main reason for the imprisonment man has imposed on women. Only by confining his wife in a locked harem guarded by eunuchs could he be certain that her son was also his." Camille Paglia, Sexual Personae
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/21 10:59 PM
1

OP, I recommend reading Tolstoy's Kreutzer Sonata (1889). You'll find all your arguments and counterarguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 09:15 PM
3

It's observing that people who raise kids with middle class western expectations (few kids, a ton of investment in each one) will produce a lot fewer kids than people who raise kids with third-world expectations (lots of kids, little investment in each one). BTW, babies are indeed cheap but children get more expensive with every passing year, unless, of course, you (the middle class western woman reader of this sub) take the third world approach for some inexplicable reason.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/21 06:23 PM
3

I think this happens a lot, especially with young and inexperienced women. I also think that's just the nature of things when women find themselves in a chaotic sexual environment. I see some men here saying "well, that's dumb, why can't they say no?" Here's a similar comment from 250 years ago: "I don't know anything so insipid as the complaisance of stupid women who surrender, knowing neither how nor why, simply because they are attacked and cannot resist." Dangerous Liaisons, Laclos, 1782
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 03:43 AM
3

Men under age 35 who claim to be against marriage are like under-35 women who say they're childfree. I don't put a lot of stock in either claim. Show me a 35+ man (with a girlfriend he likes) who is still against marriage--now, that's a man of principle!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/21 12:49 AM
6

Lol. From a Reddit AMA with the guitarist from The Doors: "I don't think Jim [Morrison] had a job...Jim didn't need money, he would live at different girls' houses every night."
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/21 10:01 PM
3

Men are merely fashion accessories and status symbols for women "In the first place, pleasure is nothing but mere pleasure with a great number of women, and never any thing else; with them, whatever titles they think proper to adorn us [men] with, we are never but... simple commissioners...and he who performs most is always esteemed the best. "In another class, the most numerous now-a-days, the celebrity of the lover, the pleasure of carrying him from a rival, the dread of a reprisal again, tota…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 06:06 PM
8

Late 30s, leaning red pill, middle class Midwest (middle middle). I grew up in a stable, educated Soviet immigrant family. My parents have been unhappily married for nearly 40 years and will be married until the end. My grandparents were unhappily married for 40 years until my grandmother's death. Those are the two marriages I saw up close. I always wanted to get married and just assumed I could do better with my own marriage--and did. I've been happily married for nearly a decade. I never devel…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/21 07:28 PM
5

When this movie came out my Russian immigrant mom kept asking me what the heck it was about and laughing because in Russian the word for male virgin has its root in the word for female virgin, or maiden (девственник). I guess it'd be like saying maiden-man or something in English. It just sounds funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/21 03:04 AM
1

Lol, thanks. 😊 I used to be big on cute doodles and scribbles, and I'd leave them around my husband's apartment when we were dating. I created a few scavenger hunts where he had to follow clues to find his birthday or Valentine's Day gift, and I've done homemade coupons for acts of service type stuff. He and I banter a lot, and it's a lot of sexual "that's what she said!" jokes. That's what works for our dynamic, I guess!
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/21 02:55 AM
1

Wow, this is remarkably frank. It must be the male equivalent of that Sheryl Sandberg quote!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/21 11:32 PM
2

Teasing/negging is meant to facilitate sex or romantic attraction...so if you're not feeling it for this guy, I'd say he failed.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/21 08:48 PM
3

Successful negging is teasing (sometimes--often?-- teasing with an edge). It should make you laugh, or laugh despite yourself. Here's the OG game guru Roissy in DC on teasing: https://heartiste.org/2011/05/18/the-fine-art-of-teasing/
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/21 08:41 PM
1

Cool, and looks like it's also on YouTube now. It's a fun mix of historical stuff and sexy stuff about mistresses, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/21 05:31 PM
1

If you'd be okay with an entertaining documentary, there's a series on Prime called the Rise and Fall of Versailles, about the French monarchy from Louis XIV to Louis XVI.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/21 04:46 PM
1

Thanks for reading, this is a great perspective. I had been thinking about the male version of the mpdg and decided it was the bohemian free spirit/artist/musician type. Yes, I agree with your warning. I think women can seek inspiration or borrow elements of the mpdg, but use them mindfully. It won't work for some, and that's okay. Having fun and being goofy and playful when the timing is right is what I'm driving at.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 03:54 PM
1

I dunno I'm just riffing, it's important to be the sexy girl of his dream but you have to inspire respect as well Yes, absolutely! I'm not suggesting that a woman should make herself into an actual mpdg, just borrow the best parts and use them in her romantic life when the occasion is right. I've struggled with the whole "childlike" thing that's suggested on RPW, and prefer terms like "playful." Play-acting the mpdg is one way to do it.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/21 03:32 PM
2

It's not quite conservative, but it is traditional in spirit about a woman's sexual imperative, minus the real talk about the importance of a woman's youth and beauty on the dating market. Here's what old school FDS would sound like. From Anton Chekhov's story A Woman's Kingdom, 1894. Advice to a rich young twenty-something woman who's into a working class man: There is no need for you to get married really like every one else. You’re rich and free, you are your own mistress; but yet, my child, …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/21 10:57 PM
6

Haha! I mean, I kind of feel the same! I don't think anyone would describe me as a sunny, bubbly type, not even my husband most of the time. I think it's more about occasionally being playful or whimsical when the timing is right, like my bit of fun with bar doodles. Before my husband and I moved in together, I would leave little post-it drawings of us as stick figures around his apartment. Whatever makes sense in your relationship--and I do think there are men who might find the whole playful t…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 09:35 PM
11

Yeah, there's a ton of hate out there for the manic pixie dream girl! Sure, she can be badly written, but so can the strong independent woman archetype And, she is a male fantasy, though one that women can occasionally fulfill to good effect. A real life full time MPDG would be a real hassle--the dream traits would come along with the unpleasant manic traits. And yeah, I'm also not on board with the childlike stuff. It always need to come with disclaimers and it especially grosses out the newbie…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 08:54 PM
11

From https://voxatl.org/spot-manic-pixie-dream-girl/: "She’s bubbly and bouncy, full of hope and romanticism. She lives her life in the sunlight, finding beauty unconventionally, artfully, and insists often that your boring, normal self do the same.... Manic Pixie Dream girls are deceptively beautiful, but it’s a good kind of deception — sort of like the illusion of a magic trick. Colors and lights are brighter, and the people around them become something more than who they are for a moment... I…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 08:41 PM
9

Thanks! Yeah, Zooey Deschanel! I actually haven't seen a ton of her stuff, but my husband has a thing for her and once said that if he was ever going to cheat on me, it would only be with Zooey! That earned him a playful swat on the arm from me. 🤪 So, yes, she (or more likely the characters she plays) appeals to men in that crazy romantic way.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 07:25 PM
3

Absolutely--you can tailor childlike or mpdg acts to fit your preferences and those of your partner! I don't usually like bars or loud music, but we happened to be there, it was an acoustic set, and the stars just aligned! I'm also a very quiet, serious and shy person. That's how friends/coworkers have described me all my life. Absolutely no one that I know would say I have manic pixie dream girl potential. Turns out I save that stuff for my husband! :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/21 07:00 PM
1

I work full time and have three kids 8 and under. My job is WFH right now and it's a pretty easy make work office job. I can do some chores during work breaks. We live in a smallish one level house and have a dog. That said, here's my best estimate: Cooking and kitchen cleanup: I probably spend at least an hour on this daily, maybe more like 90 mins. This is by far the most time consuming chore. Food prep, cooking, loading/unloading dishwasher, making school lunches and snacks, cleaning the kitc…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/21 08:14 PM
1

But in reality, “fair” matters less than efficient, effective, and practical. It may seem like men have the better deal because traditionally masculine chores are “once a week” chores, but I think a lot of us forget that they also come with more strenuous and dangerous work than the traditionally feminine chores that have to be done daily. I kind of hate agreeing here, but I agree. 😛 I work full time and do much of the cooking/cleaning/laundry/grocery shopping and about 60 percent of the childca…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/21 02:38 PM
1

There was a time when I read a lot of guys from the Roissy/Roosh/Rollo/Athol Kay/Dalrock/Red Pill Room generation of bloggers. I thought RP theory more or less accurately described gender dynamics, or at least was less wrong than mainstream liberal feminism. It helped me understand what went wrong with my first two boyfriends and what went right with my now husband. It also reflected the two marriages I've seen up close, my parents' and my grandparents'. I don't follow men's RP stuff anymore but…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 05:48 AM
1

Children of the Arbat is great! This article from the 70s by a U.S. journalist matches 100% what my parents have told me about sexual mores and birth control in the USSR. My mom told me that condoms from some of the Soviet bloc countries were occasionally available, but "tore if you put them on your finger." Lol. And if the pill was available, it was only on the black market to those who had connections and other desirable goods to barter. https://www.thecrimson.com/article/1972/7/18/living-marr…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 06:29 PM
1

I'm from a Soviet immigrant family and my parents are part of the post-WWII generation. They say abortion wasn't just the primary form of birth control, it was the only available form of birth control.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 05:47 PM
1

Yeah, I think it should be essential PPD reading! Fussel confirmed all my biases and explained my middle class insecurity. 😛
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 06:27 PM
10

It's a matter of social class. A Waffle House waitress is probably working class or even underclass, while a barista or waitress at a high end restaurant is likely middle class or UMC and shares middle class values that are essential for marriage to a white collar man. I highly recommend Paul Fussel's book Class to PPD. Fussel explains the American class hierarchy in a really sharp and funny way. Money is not always class, and class doesn't always mean money.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 06:02 PM
3

I like the Christmas season with the kids but I hate hate hate gifts. Breakfast with Santa, the Nutcracker, seeing holiday lights, decorating the tree, cookies, family get together (my parents and in laws host, which works great for me), that's all great. Gifts are a major hassle and I'd be happy never to give or receive one again. The kids have way too much stuff as it is, everything my husband likes is super specialized and expensive, and then there's the awkwardness of getting appropriate gif…
/r/RedPillWives24/11/21 07:12 PM
1

The Monk, The Story of O, Fanny Hill, Lady Chatterly’s Lover, Pamela (and it’s satire Shamela), Moll Flanders, and the Earl of Rochester for racy, sexually charged classic lit Wooo, Pamela! It's so wrong by today's standards but so entertaining and (unintentionally) funny... At least that's how I remember from college forever ago. Richardson was hugely influential, wasn't he? Everyone read him. And I Iove the concept of Shamela, though I never actually read it. I did try to read Fanny Hill recen…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 05:02 AM
2

Dangerous Liaisons by de Laclos if you want a literary classic with a boatload of PPD themes (like Anna Karenina). I can't recommend it enough--every day I'm tempted to pluck and post a passage that reflects something I see on PPD. And since you know Russian, Chekhov is excellent. I don't really have favorite authors, I just read everyone's greatest hits, but if I absolutely had to pick one, it'd be him. I thought Doctor Zhivago was very mediocre. On a different note, everyone seems to love Shir…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 04:52 AM
2

The First Circle & Cancer Ward, A.I. Solzhenitsyn What are the red pill lessons from Cancer Ward? I actually read it a few years ago, curious about your take.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/21 11:47 PM
1

Yep...though Cruel Intentions itself is based on Dangerous Liaisons.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/21 04:26 PM
2

I watched Lady J on Netflix, which seemed like a straight up imitation of Dangerous Liaisons but is based on a different 18th century novel. Both center on a worldly man and woman, former lovers, now friends, whose friendship revolves around advising one another on sex stuff. Does this kind of friendship exist irl or is it something from 18th century fiction? Anyway, I recommend Madame J if you like talky French movies or aristocrats of yore playing 4D sexual chess.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/21 04:50 AM
5

Yeah, me too, and it changes over the years as well! Before having kids I thought we'd have one, maybe two kids, and anything over two kids was for insane people...until I pulled the old "honey I think I'd like another baby" and now we have three. There are things I felt super strongly about when I first became a mom vs. now, eight years later. And I expect that my perspective will change again when I have teenagers! 😱
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 11:15 PM
12

One thing I learned during my almost 8 years of parenting is that all those earnest plans and goals and conversations about family life that we are supposed to have with our partners long before having kids can go out the window once we actually have kids. And one universal I noticed is that few women want to work just as much or more after having kids.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/21 09:51 PM
3

I love this passage about traditional reasons for marriage, from Alexander Kuprin's story the Garnet Bracelet, 1911. "But why do people generally get married? "Let's take the woman. She's ashamed of remaining single, especially after all her friends have married. It's unbearable to be a burden on the family. She wants to be mistress of the house, mother of a family, enjoy independence. Then there's the need — the outright physical need — for motherhood, and for making a nest of her own. "Men's m…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/21 05:46 PM
3

A few months ago I watched Shame, the 2011 movie where Michael Fassbender plays a sex addict. I thought Shame was okay (though great at setting a mood), but it got very positive and sympathetic reviews...and I suspect that's largely because Fassbender is so incredibly handsome. Anyone see it, what did you think?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/21 05:30 PM
1

I don't know about other places, but in the midwest bowling is a legit grownup activity. Not uncommon for people in their 20s to bowl. There's usually a lot of drinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/21 02:24 AM
2

Well, I don't think their marriage brought them a lot of emotional or sexual satisfaction, but they did raise a successful child (me) and built a nice middle class life after immigrating to the US I their 30s with almost nothing. I don't think they could have done that if they split up. And there's companionship in their old age when they're not fighting. That counts for something, doesn't it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 11:01 PM
1

I don't know if my parents would have married now...though their dynamic isn't unheard of today, typically with a 30+ woman seeking marriage and kids They married in the USSR in 1980, my dad was a shy Soviet STEM nerd and my mom was beautiful but emotionally volatile. He was infatuated and persistent and she told me she eventually gave in and married him because she was 25 and had no other prospects. 25 was old for a first marriage at that time. She generally felt meh about him. They've been unh…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 05:37 PM
3

Yes, it was with a man who was great on paper in every way except the physical part. It was not a good relationship. He was confused about why I didn't want him (I think Rollo Tomassi had a good article at some point on how blue pill men have this logical approach to desire..like I do what she wants and I am what she says she wants, so why isn't 1 and 1 adding up to sex??) And for my part, I believed that I just wasn't a very sexual person and sex wasn't that important me...and with him, it wasn…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/21 08:25 PM
3

He just laughed. I don't want to push for a vasectomy because the IUD works and I've read about vasectomy side effects like pain that a few people mentioned in this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/21 05:28 PM
5

For much of our relationship until we were done having kids, he pulled out. I know, I know, but it worked 100% for us and was preferable to condoms for him and hormonal bc for me. After the third kid, I got a copper IUD. Insertion was mildly uncomfortable, but no other issues, works great. My obgyn used to ask when my husband would get a vasectomy because I've already suffered a lot with pregnancy/labor and now it's his turn, lol. Maybe someday, we'll see.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/21 03:39 PM
3

Your man doesn’t care for a muffin? Mine is keto most days of the year so baked goods don’t do much for him either, As an aside, this made me laugh because women here are always talking about baking while RP guys all do intermittent fasting and treat sugar like poison. 😆 Who's supposed to eat all these muffins? Yet another reason why RP men and women are mismatched!
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 11:24 PM
2

We want to build traditional, healthy, fulfilling relationships and a harmonious environment for possible offspring, that means being frugal, modest and smart with money, being appreciative of not just materialistic things but also effort that your SO brings. I fully agree with this. I do find that the expensive things that women in my social circle value (30s, middle-middle class, married with young kids, Midwest) are not designer purses, diamonds, or fancy restaurants, but houses in nice subur…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 10:57 PM
16

This is the standard middle class path in the U.S. Don't see anything strange about it.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/21 03:20 PM
3

For example: The depressive has a day or two every few months where he doesn't want to do anything except lie in bed. The anxiety sufferer always has to have everything planned out with an itinerary or he can't go. The OCD sufferer spends half an hour checking the doors and windows before bed each night. If I never wanted children, this sort of thing wouldn't be a deal breaker, although it also wouldn't be attractive. But other qualities could balance it out. But since I did want children and, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 02:34 PM
1

I remember you from way back when! Glad you're back. :)
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/21 06:00 PM
1

I think that's Gogol's Nevsky Prospect. A work that should be on the TRP sidebar!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 02:19 PM
1

Yeah, I thought it was bizarre and cringed at the sad sack narrator and the way he lets the chick play him.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 02:18 PM
2

This guy comes off as a dick, of course, but there's some truth in what he said. I think man who's home for a full six months post baby can become bored, restless, lose his purpose and just not have all that much to do compared to the mother, especially if she's breastfeeding. (This is assuming a healthy mom and baby, circumstances are different with an ill or special needs infant, or lots of complications for the mother...or twins+.) I liked having my husband home for a few weeks post-baby, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 02:14 PM
1

I generally agree with you, I think the past is very romanticized in red/trad pulled spaces. However, I do think that in the past dull but respectable men could have a regular duty sex with their wives, and for many men, especially less sensitive men, that's more than enough. I'm trying to think of examples from literature...for example, both Charles Bovary from Mme Bovary and Mr Collins in Pride and Prejudice are really oblivious to the contempt or indifference of their wives. But what about th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 01:46 AM
1

I WOULD like girls who like to cook and bake but we're still going through the whole "I ain't no housewife" movement of the past 50 years It's so odd to me when people say this. Cooking, baking, crafting, gardening, backyard chickens, hobby farming, canning, DIY, etc. made a major comeback among young middle class women in the last two decades, the whole "new domesticity" movement. Or is this just a social media driven thing that doesn't occur irl? Here's a pretty good overview of new domesticit…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/21 03:21 PM
32

Shortly after we got married, my husband told me that he now felt responsible for my safety and well-being in a way that he'd never really thought about prior to getting married. This hit him hard when we found ourselves in a few mildly sketchy situations on our honeymoon in Asia. He also said he felt responsible to my parents if anything happened to me. For example, prior to marriage he'd give me rides on his motorcycle. After marriage, he stopped because now that we were all in, he didn't want…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/21 04:55 PM
2

Was that the party where Gus showed up right on time and was the first one there, so the hosts roped him into cleaning and setting up? Lots of funny cringe in that show. My husband had to stop watching it because he felt too embarrassed for the guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 02:05 PM
2

I liked season one, it had a lot of PPD tropes. Wasn't Mickey supposed to be a 30+ cock carouseller with a truck load of baggage who wanted to give a nice guy a shot for the first time in her life?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 01:59 PM
1

Laporello, lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 01:38 PM
3

Yes, that's a good observation. He hates soy boy simps, too. And now, instead of mounting barded steeds To fright the souls of fearful adversaries, He capers nimbly in a lady’s chamber, To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.... But I, that am not shap’d for sportive tricks, Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass; I, that am rudely stamp’d, and want love’s majesty To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 02:55 PM
3

Before kids, maybe 15%. After kids, 60%? I still want to satisfy my husband, I have no qualms about having sex when I myself am not aroused. I don't see how you can have a sex life in a marriage/LTR with kids if a woman refuses to have "duty" sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 01:41 PM
4

It’s a discussion of how do you realistically meet men’s desires throughout a lifelong relationship. “No duty sex” is insufficient for many, many marriages. That isn’t arguing against men’s desires- it’s reality. I think you and u/wewearmirrors are making some good points... there's really no one good answer here that will satisfy everyone or provide a solution that can be applied en masse. It's another example of how love marriage is a double-edged sword...marrying your lover...great! But then …
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 04:03 AM
10

Thanks, u/girlwithasidecar! I asked and you delivered ! My own Kaos, Maehem plus Dee-struction have me too busy to write anything too thoughtful tonight, but I'll add that in my relationship (10+ years together, 3 smallish kids, not ovulating for 6+ years of marriage--pregnant or breastfeeding)...sometimes we kind of accept that we're going to have bad sex because it's better than no sex ...and that's okay. For my husband, sex is like pizza, even when it's bad it's still kind of good. I'm quotin…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 03:12 AM
6

Most men would rather do onerous tasks than have sex with a woman who is responding out of duty Can someone write a post on sex and passion for the old(er) married/LTRed women with kids? I'm hearing don't do detached duty sex (yes, of course) but also don't fake passion/desire (I mean...never ever... really?)
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/21 02:14 AM
3

Thanks for taking the time to explain, I appreciate it. I mean, I kind of get it, I did 1, 2, 4, 3, and it got me marriage with a man I love. But I'd hate to be out there trying to figure this out...and obviously I will never date again, but my daughter will face this in about a decade. 😱 When I was a teenager I'd read Jane Austen and the like and envied women who lived in a time with very clear rules for courtship and only one acceptable answer for when to have sex. (Of course, in those times t…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/21 12:42 AM
4

This ancient post-wall hag thanks you for this post and your dose of good sense!
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/21 11:02 PM
3

When RP types say they'd love to marry a sweet, chaste, unambitious waitress/cashier, I always think of quirky romantic comedies, namely the woman in Secretary and the cutie pie waitress in It Could Happen to You.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 04:39 PM
3

Can you speak to how this advice aligns or jives with The Final Exam post that I often see shared around here to answer the question: when should I sleep with a man? https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4gfzqa/the_final_exam/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share I think this is the top issue that women are confused about. (My theory is that other popular Reddit dating strategies for women get traction partly because they give extremely clear guidelines on how to act with a man, like…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/21 01:51 PM
1

Thanks for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it. You wouldn't happen to be girlwithabike from a few years back? She rocked. :) For my part, I will tell him if I disagree. Then I will tell him that I'll yield to his decision. I ask questions to understand his perspective. And I don't hide my feelings when I'm upset. Yes, I do everything that you mentioned (which is kind of a relief to me!). Often I'm satisfied with the result, occasionally I'm not. Like, I'm good with like 85% of the calls t…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/21 07:09 PM
3

I like your comment, and have the same (mild) reservations about submission. Most criticism of submission is along the lines of, what if you submit to a bad or abusive or incompetent man? But even a good man can be tempted to push it when a woman makes it easy. I'm married to a very good man and he flat out told me once that it was easy to spend too much time/money on a hobby of his because I was yielding and accepting. He actually said that being blunt with him if I didn't like his decisions wo…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/21 11:50 PM
2

I think you're correct on both points, and especially on #1. The trope about women not being into homemaking activities is so odd to me--maybe it was more accurate before the whole "new domesticity" thing in the last two decades. (Ian Ironwood appears to be older GenX, he met his wife in 1991 according to his blog). I remember following the early food blogs, starting in 2003 (and blogged myself for a while) and there were so many women into cooking from scratch, making artisanal this or that, gr…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/21 10:53 PM
1

No, I found FDS long after the red pill via subs like PPD, and most of it is nuts. I do think FDS is popular partly because it gives very clear rules and guidelines in a dating culture where there are no rules and guidelines for questions like when should we have sex, who pays, what's the goal of a relationship, should we live together before marriage, etc. Navigating these questions is confusing as hell for a lot of women (assuming you're not dating in a highly religious or traditional culture)…
/r/RedPillWives10/09/21 04:16 PM
1

He is looking for a wife, here's his personal ad: https://graymirror.substack.com/p/uncle-yarv-0-dating-call
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 02:26 PM
10

He told my SO that for the entirety of his marriage, his wife had nagged him about his car hobby. She always complained about how pointless it was, and one time even made him resell a restoration project he did for her birthday that took him MONTHS to complete. Am I reading this right? This guy's wife hated his car restoration hobby, so for her birthday...he restored a car for her? Lolololol! 😂This is a stone cold, alpha Chad move, this man deserves more credit than he's getting! Seriously, I'd …
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 06:59 PM
4

Yes, I feel the same way about WFH as you, and for the same reasons! The only downside, maybe, is not ever dressing up in something nice, it's leggings and tank tops every day for me. I have a whole closet of business casual that may never be worn again, especially since my company went to a jeans ok every day dress code even before the pandemic. I also loved listening to podcasts and audiobooks on my way to work, I don't do that anymore. My company is considering a hybrid arrangement for when t…
/r/RedPillWives09/09/21 01:07 PM
2

Yes, I think you're right. The more I read the responses here the more I think the desire for control and risk reduction are at the root of nagging.
/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 07:09 PM
-1

I do think feminist ideas and expectations can contribute to nagging, but I don't feminism is the cause of it. One of the most famous examples of a nagging wife in western entertainment is Mrs. Bennett in Pride and Prejudice, and her era wasn't the most feminist one! I think nagging is innate to women in their relationships with men. I just googled "why do women nag" and the first result was a Wall Street Journal article that says: "But women are more likely to nag, experts say, largely because …
/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 06:09 PM
1

This is a great question! I'm going to toss out a guess, though I'm not satisfied with it. I think nagging is rooted in the minutiae of domestic and family life, which matter a lot more to women than to men. I would guess there's minimal nagging in new, sexually charged relationships where a couple lives apart. But should they share a household and have a mutual stake in running it, the nagging is almost guaranteed to increase! Nagging comes with time and domesticity (so, I suppose with marriage…
/r/RedPillWives07/09/21 05:04 PM
1

Here's a passage that nicely expands on Wilde's quite and explains what men were tired of and what women were curious about. From Alexander Kuprin's story The Garnet Bracelet, 1911. "But why do people generally get married? " Let's take the woman. She's ashamed of remaining single, especially after all her friends have married. It's unbearable to be a burden on the family. She wants to be mistress of the house, mother of a family, enjoy independence. Then there's the need — the outright physical…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 04:56 PM
1

Married middle class and lower middle class Midwesterners. Not UMС, though. My husband and I don't have any lawyers, doctors or executives in our families or social circles, and I don't think anyone we personally know earns six figures.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 03:51 PM
0

Who's read Michel Houellebecq? I just finished Submission and thought it was highly entertaining and trollishly funny.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 03:48 PM
18

Besides the obvious, looks, I think young women are attractive because they can match (for a very short time) male romantic idealism. Young(er) women tend to be less practical, less pragmatic, more likely to want to have fun and go with the flow. Once a woman gets older, practicality kicks in and she sheds whatever remnants of idealism and romanticism she had in the first place.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 03:38 PM
14

I think this sort of thing would attract male tourists from all corners of the reddit redpillosohere who would quite enjoy having their worst suspicions about women confirmed while offering no tangible advice. "And you call yourselves red pill women, what a joke!!" etc.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 02:46 PM
1

Yes, the soundtrack is awesome, I listened to it for days after I watched the movie. As for the guy, he was intended to be a tortured Byronic artiste, yes! But I do have a soft spot for this type, as did Swinton's character. 😍
/r/RedPillWives01/09/21 02:02 PM
1

I haven't listened to a ton of her music, but the Voz d'Amor album is one of my favorites!
/r/RedPillWives01/09/21 01:59 PM
2

Watching: I randomly found a great vampire movie, Only Lovers Left Alive, on Prime. If a movie about an arty, hipster vampire couple sounds interesting, you'll enjoy this one. Not much of a plot and delightfully pretentious, but really sets a mood. Tilda Swinton does a great job playing a very RPW vampire lady (no, really)...an unexpected but very nice example of a woman being a soft place to fall. Edit: How could I forget, I also read Submission by Michel Houellebecq, an alternative universe no…
/r/RedPillWives31/08/21 04:13 AM
–

My 5 year old son is very skinny and light on his feet, and I I once joked with my homophobic Soviet immigrant parents about putting him in ballet class. Well, they loved the idea! To my parents, ballet is associated with being cultured and male dancers are highly masculine hetero sex symbols like Baryshnikov. Then I talked about this with my liberal American husband who's cool with lgbt folks and he was like, nope, my son is not doing ballet. He actually cringed at the idea of his son doing som…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 11:48 PM
1

"Ask an experienced coquette, who has undertaken to seduce a man, which she would prefer,—to be convicted, in presence of the man whom she is engaged in conquering, of falsehood, perversity, cruelty, or to appear before him in an ill-fitting dress, or a dress of an unbecoming color. She will prefer the first alternative. She knows very well that we... will not forgive her a costume of an ugly shade, without taste or fit..... And these things she knows by reason, where as the maiden knows them on…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 03:10 PM
3

In some of the novels I read from this period it seems like being a wealthy widow was a pretty good deal--they ended up with more freedom, including sexual freedom, than married or young single women. You see this dynamic in Dangerous Liaisons (granted, different century and era), Fathers and Sons, Anna Karenina, etc. Edit: A great literary example of a young single woman toying with multiple men is Turgenev's novella First Love. If you're familiar with RP, it's impossible to read it from any ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 08:19 PM
2

Thanks, I appreciate your response! In the grand scheme, I of course work to protect my kids, but on a daily basis, I honestly don't feel like a protectress! I feel more like a chaos tamer, a cat herder, a drill sargeant. And I surprise myself by how assertive I can (have to!) be. I've never experienced this feeling until I had kids. But it's the way it should be--as you said, you really cannot submit to your kids. Anyway, tonight I actually asked my 7 year old if I'm protective and she said, "y…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/21 06:19 AM
6

Thanks for your reply, you're exactly the kind of woman I was hoping to hear from! And I'm sorry to hear about your husband's illness, I wish him the best. Casual RPW readers and observers think this is a "trad" sub, but I think RPW is extremely untraditional in that it encourages women to be the loyal helpmate and the sexy mistress. Here's a great quote from more traditional times on this topic: "To be an upright and virtuous woman to the outside world, and to turn herself into a courtesan for …
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/21 06:07 AM
3

My oldest is only 7, but I found it gets easier once kids turn 4-5! My 5 year old can entertain himself for a while and the 7-year-old already would rather hang out with the neighbor kids than with us.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/21 05:52 AM
7

Submission is not a personality trait or something intrinsic in you. It’s just a behavior directed towards a person who you respect and look up to. Thanks for taking the time to respond, you always have good stuff to say! On this, I'm not sure I agree, or maybe I'm misunderstanding. Yes, submission is a behavior in romantic relationships with desirable man, but surely there are women who are inherently submissive? Women who tend to be submissive in all aspects of their lives, even where it's rea…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/21 01:25 AM
3

Congratulations! So I hope you don't mind that I took a peek at your posting history where you wrote about your man not wanting marriage or biological kids. If you don't mind sharing-- what made him change his mind?
/r/RedPillWives20/08/21 02:46 PM
1

That we work 8-hour days or less now is more due to efficiency and technology. THOSE have given everybody more time- too much time in some respects. So the root cause of our feminist social ills is technology? (And technology is almost entirely developed by men--stop it, men, you're just too good at what you do! I know, you will say that men are stopping it by dropping out.)
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 03:39 PM
1

Why do women have too much time on their hands?
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 03:28 PM
9

Why do you think former communist countries are more averse to western-style feminism and are more "trad" on gender roles, even today? I was born in the Soviet Union and can confirm that the housewife was not a thing, at least in urban areas. However, women remained solely responsible for housework and childcare in the hours that they were not at work. I'm seen this dynamic play out with my parents (post WWII generation), whose views on gender roles are more aligned with RP than not.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 03:47 AM
2

Thanks so much, I love reading about women's domestic lives in past centuries.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 03:11 AM
1

I'd like to hear u/softrevolution_'s take, but I understood it as the pre-industrial revolution household as being the center or production and economic activity (so, the wife's work in the home contributes to the family's income... for example, the work done by a farmer's wife, etc). Whereas, post industrial revolution, the work done by a housewife in the home rarely contributes to the family's income (the office and the factory is where economic activity takes place).
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 02:56 AM
3

What the Ulrich source? It's funny you mention the age thing because it's the one passage in the essay that struck me as a bit off. I happen to be reading A Farewell to Alms: Economic History of the World by Gregory Clark, where he talks quite a bit about the relatively high ages at first marriage for women in northwestern Europe going back centuries. Prior to 1790s, mean ages ranged from 24-26 (kind of old even by current standards!) ( I believe it all ties into Clark's thesis of why the indust…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 02:44 AM
8

Oooh, this is finally my opportunity to cite this great article I randomly found in the wiki of this very sub: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4nsl0r/who_killed_marriage_10_trigger_warning_dry_theory/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share ( from TRP, so you know, trigger warning). It's on the causes of the decline of marriage, which is just somewhat related to your post, but marriage is being mentioned in the responses. Tldr: Marriage was killed by technological advancement long b…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/21 01:44 AM
5

He is a modern-day Mr. Collins--as are most of Dalrock's readers. Unfortunately there is no longer a Charlotte Lucas willing to marry him and perform her wifely duties through gritted teeth for life. Edit: Even the sensible and rational Jane Austen made fun of dudes like this. Here's poor Mr Collins, miffed that the slutty Bennet sister interrupted his reading of sermons on female virtue to gossip about hot guys: "Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but Mr. Collins, much …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/21 03:07 PM
3

Yeah, this is good advice. I'm not an academic, but I really like classic literature and weird foreign movies. I have my internet book/movie subs and forums to ramble about this stuff with other geeks. I also chat with my dad about books, we both like Russian lit. If I read or watch something I'm really excited about I might mention it to my husband, but I'll usually break it down so it's interesting or relevant to him. It is nice to have something you can talk to your partner about that's align…
/r/RedPillWives13/08/21 01:43 AM
1

I agree with you. I dislike the term HVM...high value to whom? HVM is often used to define men who're high value to upper middle class, white collar late 20s/early 30s women looking for marriage. Back when I started reading the "manosphere" in its they used the term alpha to define a man who is sexually appealing to women--a man who can inspire unnegotiated desire in women... and I think it's a better definition. In your SATC example, Aidan was great husband/dad material but he didn't get Carrie…
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 05:34 PM
2

don't see why the wife wouldn't have to respect his diversity needs, ie being open to the possibility under certain conditions, even if it never happens. I'm honestly curious about what "certain conditions" you would consider reasonable. In theory, I'm not automatically opposed to sharing, but I can't help being stuck on the practicalities that u/santarosa2020 mentions. (As you surely know, women are extremely practical when they need to be!) 😊 I'm thinking about stuff like STDs, a potential uni…
/r/RedPillWives04/08/21 02:21 PM
2

Many blue collar women have to be bolder and on par with men in order to fit in, in a rural setting. I like your answer, and I especially like this part. I think this is really more of a class issue than anything to do with feminism or masculization of women. Blue collar, working class or rural women have always had to be rougher and may have disdain for what they perceive as delicate middle class femininity. (And I don't think this is some new feminist phenomenon either. Here's one example... H…
/r/RedPillWives02/08/21 04:10 AM
7

You bring up some interesting questions. :) I think according to the red pill, men and women have different and competing sexual strategies. Men try "get" sex with a variety of women while women try to obtain commitment from the best man they can. Hence the popular RP saying that men are the gatekeepers of commitment and women are the gatekeepers of sex. For one strategy to succeed, the other has to give something up. Red pill women focus on commitment with a good man but also sweetening the dea…
/r/RedPillWives29/07/21 09:04 PM
21

"Red pill" anything is a trigger for people. And to be fair, red pillers are often intentionally rude, crude, harsh, etc. toward women. I remember the TRP founder said on RPW this is necessary to get men out of their blue pill beta stage. Apparently someone tried to start a "nice" red pill sub for men but it failed. People who're not involved in these communities (various iterations of the red pill for different audiences) don't care about the tone, nuances, and ideological differences of each o…
/r/RedPillWives29/07/21 02:26 PM
2

I have recommendations, though they depend on your specific interests. And most of them are "don't be like this woman!" books instead of "here's a great example of a feminine woman!" I'll save my theory that women weren't all that different in the past for a different thread. :)
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 11:50 PM
1

Ooooh, how do you like Germinal? I love classics, especially ones that explore gender dynamics. I read some Zola a loooooong time ago, would like to read more French classics in the future.
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 06:37 PM
5

Yes! It drives me nuts when people say that women didn't work in the past or when their idea of tradition doesn't extend past the American middle classes of 1946-1968 (an extremely untraditional era by historical standards). I could rant some more but I'll stop here. :) The big difference is that now (some) women work outside the home to achieve personal success and self actualization, where in the past women generally worked alongside the husband/father to help support the entire family, or, if…
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 03:46 PM
5

Longbourn sounds interesting! I like learning about how different social classes lived in the past, I think we default too much to the upper middle classes as the "back in the day" norm.
/r/RedPillWives26/07/21 02:29 PM
7

I think PPD and RPW is the best that we can do. :/ ...I guess because men and women have different (competing) sexual goals and strategies and life experiences. I mean, I try to be empathetic to the struggles men face but some dudes on these subs come off like they're from a whole different world!
/r/RedPillWives21/07/21 03:47 PM
2

Haha, it's a good question! I'm only through a third of the book so I don't have a definitive answer for you, but I personally think that both of your responses are fine (saying nothing or very casually bringing up the lawsuit thing). Class is a weird book because some of it is very tongue in cheek and funny (there are scenarios where you try to guess a person's class based on hints provided) but then there's also a lot of thoughtful insight on the American class system.
/r/RedPillWives08/07/21 06:53 PM
3

I started Paul Fussel's Class, which is a kind of pop sociology book about the American class system. It's very entertaining and biting. Parts of it are a bit dated ( published 1983), but other parts are very prescient. Fussel talks about the fear of being cancelled by ones corporate employer for the wrong ideological opinion as a very middle class phenomenon, since this class (unlike the lower classes) wants to be seen as good and righteous but also (unlike the rich) doesn't have fuck you money…
/r/RedPillWives08/07/21 02:50 PM
3

There is nothing traditional about dating. Traditional people have arranged marriages. Omg, I agree with this lady. 😱 There it is. Dating itself is a wildly untraditional activity, no "traditional" rules can apply to it. Traditional dating is courtship overseen by parents or chaperones, and if an unmarried woman is alone with man, he's trusted and approved by her family, not some stranger she met in the street. No one practices this type of courtship anymore besides super religious people like t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/21 08:05 PM
8

It's an interesting sub. Some of it is just venting, because women bond when they vent. Some of it is women in really difficult situations, often involving ill children or husbands. "There but for the grace of God go I" kinda stuff. And some is women making bad life decisions--namely, having kids with an incompetent man (ruinous for the woman, her kids and possibly grandkids) or becoming a sahm to an incompetent man. The red pill says these women vetted badly and ignored obvious red flags, which…
/r/RedPillWives07/07/21 02:52 AM
2

According to the red pill, a woman's value in the sexual marketplace lies in her beauty, youth, and pleasant personality, not social class or status. But, yes, people do tend to date in their own class. However, a wealthy man is more likely to consider pairing with a woman from a lower social class if she's beautiful (and can get into his orbit thanks to her beauty). It's the classic rich guy/model pairing. But a wealthy woman is less likely to pair up with a man below her on the social scale. S…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/21 07:10 PM
3

I don't have any advice, but I'm sorry you're going through this, it's a lot. I remember and admire your posts from RPW, you made lots of solid points.
/r/RedPillWives01/07/21 04:56 AM
8

HVM: A man who's both sexually attractive and dependable (alpha bucks), in a woman's social class or above. HVW: A woman who is consistently cute, nice and not crazy, in a man's social class or below.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/21 10:54 PM
–

Interesting, must be this: https://abcnews.go.com/Health/victorian-women-sex-americas-dr-ruth/story?id=10334865. Thx.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 03:02 PM
–

What are some examples of this kind of popular literature? I love reading about the SMP/gender relations of the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:23 PM
6

"This is a textbook definition of manipulative behavior. Bashfulness isn't something that can be called up like part of a repertoire. Either a person truly feels shy, or they don't. Pretending to feel shy as a means of increasing one's appeal by seeming overwhelmed isn't only manipulative though, it's dishonest." I think u/SunshineSundress is inadvertently encouraging coquetry and a bit of feminine wiles here. It's really an age old approach where a woman playfully pretends to be chaste and mode…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/21 03:01 PM
2

So, I've only read about a third of the book so far and she hasn't really covered pro/cons of monogamy specifically. But.. I have some thoughts! My initial perception is that it's the red pill for normies. 😊 Red pill lite. Perel hits on a lot of RP beliefs about desire--namely, that contrary to popular belief, communication, intimacy and comfort decrease desire, not increase it. In one case study, she even advices the husband to essentially do dread game and spend less time with his wife because…
/r/RedPillWives27/06/21 03:50 PM
2

I liked Tolstoy's Family Happiness, lots of RP food for thought there!
/r/RedPillWives26/06/21 03:19 PM
3

I'm been really into Russian lit, reading a lot of Chekhov, he is fantastic. His stories cover so many themes that we talk about on the RP subs. Chekhov was a proto TRP man in his personal life, and writes about women from a kind of RP perspective but with empathy. It's actually kind of stunning to see themes like alpha widows, settling, upper middle class feminism, female education, party girls, pumps and dumps, the female hamster, SJWs, where are all the good men, incels, simps, etc. discussed…
/r/RedPillWives26/06/21 04:18 AM
3

I'm going to butcher Camille Paglia's theories a bit, but I think that according to her, singers, actors and performers are Dionysian...they appeal to ecstasy, pleasure, drunkenness, emotion, excess, abandon, nature (nature is woman). Writers, politicians, businessmen, etc are Appolonian, builders, promoters of order, rules and civilization, the tamers of nature/women. I could swear Paglia has written a lot about the appeal of Dionysian men, but can't remember specific stuff besides her book Sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 04:41 PM
5

Yes. 🙂
/r/RedPillWives25/06/21 03:51 PM
17

🙏 This can also apply to women. In the baby/mommy subs I often see some variant of "I was really ambitious and into my career before I had a baby but now that I have a baby I just want to coast at work or not work at all, does anyone feel that way?" And a bunch of women say YES! In the middle classes, and especially the upper middles, I think people just kind of stumble into sahm after having a baby, it's usually not the intention from the start for either men or women.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/21 02:23 PM
2

I'm really interested in what makes women gravitate to RP spaces online. I mean, there are plenty of conservative and religious women who would be completely grossed out by RP stuff. What is it about women who can stomach this stuff and stick around? Anyway, I suspect that RPW gets a lot of traffic from the first group, some from the second (maybe more aspiring trad wives than actual ones), but a lot of the RPW "canon" is created by women in the third group. (Which I fall into as well 🙂)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 03:39 AM
19

A red pill woman is a woman who agrees with the red pill's take on gender dynamics and masculine and feminine nature. I'm going to repurpose a comment I left on the RPWi sub a few weeks ago about the types of women I see in RP spaces. -Very young women who latch in to RP as a kind of rebellion against feminist culture or their feminist family. These girls are 15-20, and you see them regurgitating RP talking points or casting their equally young boyfriend into a "captain" role. They spend a lot o…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 01:22 AM
49

I don't think that degrees are important to men, exactly, I suspect it's a mix of: -Women are expected to support themselves prior to marriage (a job that can cover the minimum-- rent, food, car payment/insurance, phone, utilities, small entertainment budget might require a degree, depending on where you live). And a degree might help contribute to the household after she's married. Despite all the talk about men wanting housewives or being sole providers, I think a lot of men (unless religious …
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/21 12:20 AM
3

Yes, I think this is it. Women are sort of okay with sluts being used as sluts, wham bam thank you ma'am. But to follow a porn star beyond that, to form any additional interest and attachment is far less acceptable to women. It screams simp or beta, which to women is less forgiveable than disrespect or perviness.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/21 09:54 PM
1

I mean, everyone is focused on the woman's role as the supporter, and they're right, but in OP's particular case, every single woman in her boyfriend's master's program will have advantage over her simply due to daily proximity to the guy. He sounds like a desirable dude, and if OP were ten years younger it might be okay to gamble on him cause she'd have time in case it didn't work out. But by the mid 30s, she doesn't have much time, and I'm having trouble with the advice to get into an LDR (whi…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/21 12:09 AM
1

If you're in your mid-30's already, OP, I would be cautious about waiting another year for someone. Now "Mid-30s" could mean 33, or it could mean 37. Very different ages for women. This is a very good point. Honestly, I'm puzzled why a mid-30s woman who wants marriage and children is being encouraged to get into a LDR with a very high value man man who hasn't given tangible commitment.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/21 03:30 PM
9

Camille Paglia's Sexual Personae goes into this in a lot of detail--how the male and female is represented in mythology, literary and artistic archetypes, etc. Highly recommended if you're interested. I read it a while ago, but I do remember it talks about women being associated with the sea, as u/happilymrs mentions.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/21 10:30 PM
1

Lol! Tolstoy, is that you? "Tolstoy was a rich young man, he liked to gamble, drink, and spend lots of time in the company of beautiful women, including prostitutes. However, while his sexual appetite never vanished, Tolstoy started to become bothered by his own womanizing behavior and decided to make a change. He courted a lovely young woman named Sophia, but before they wedded he wanted to be totally up front with her, so he showed her a diary explaining all of his past sexual encounters, incl…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 05:42 PM
6

So, I think u/pearlsandstilettos hits on all the stereotypes that mainstream people have about RPWs, but I have some of my own. I think red pill women tend to fall into these three groups: -Very young women who latch in to RP as a kind of rebellion against feminist culture or their feminist family. These girls are 15-20, and you see them regurgitating RP talking points or casting their equally young boyfriend into a captain role. Will these girls be RP in 10 or 20 years? Maybe, maybe not. -Actua…
/r/RedPillWives11/06/21 02:53 PM
30

I was raised in a culture where grandparents played a similar role (Soviet Russia). Helping raise grandchildren was considered the grandmother's downright duty. I'm in the US now but my parents also offered (sometimes insisted) to help raise my kids. My mom watched all three of my kids to some extent for the first few years of their lives. Pros: Free childcare from someone you know and trust, kids develop a relationship with grandma. Cons: You pay your mother with deference and emotional labor. …
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/21 07:58 PM
5

The article recommends men doing more in the home to balance it, but I wonder if women doing less in the workplace would actually be better. The problem is, to do that in this day and age couples would need to be willing to live much simpler, cheaper lives. We've become so consumption-driven that most wouldn't be willing or able to do it. Plus, cost of living is a challenge for many. I think this is key to the whole thing. And in addition to cost of living/consumption, there's the issue of telli…
/r/RedPillWives09/06/21 04:45 PM
15

I had a real "are you me?" vibe reading your post and also u/planterkitty's assessment. At my shyest, I absolutely thought I was better than everyone else and they just couldn't see it but in reality I came off as completely standoffish and unfriendly. I found myself in your position at 28 and worked a lot on just being more friendly and outgoing. I joined Toastmasters, went to meetups, networking events, volunteered with organizations that attract younger people (for example, a local film festi…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/21 05:18 PM
7

You got some good tangible advice and I have none to offer, but I do have a few ramblings on this topic. :) I think modern women feel unprecedented pressure to build an independent career outside the home (feminist pressure) but also to cultivate relationships that remain romantic and sexual long-term (pressure from the sexual revolution and the shift to love marriage). So women are free to earn their own money and are also compelled to earn their own money. And, women are free to seek exciting …
/r/RedPillWives28/05/21 04:01 PM
7

Ha, I recently watched Disney's Beauty and the Beast with my kids, which I hadn't seen in decades, and the whole time I was thinking, "wow, Belle's kind of a bitch?" She's singing about wanting more than a provincial life and is all stuck up about reading books...But the books she's reading sound like dumb romance novels, it's not like she's poring over Diderot or Locke or something! Get over yourself, Belle! (In contrast, The Lion King has some conservative lessons about family and duty and ari…
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/21 05:41 AM
8

This is a very thought provoking post! Do you think there were more or better virgin archetypes in modern show business in past decades (let's say 1946 to 1980) ? Who were they? Was it an act? I'm thinking of an anecdote I read where some Hollywood executive said he knew Sandra Dee (an actress famous for her virgin image) before she became a virgin. I think dancers, singers, and entertainers have been notorious for their sluttiness for centuries, maybe it's just the nature of entertainment...lik…
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/21 03:33 AM
1

I've seen TRP men on RPW maligning us ladies for not producing content. I think that women are a lot less confident about theorizing in the rough and tumble RP space (I sure am). And, also, experienced women tend to be married/partnered, often with children... And husbands and kids take up time, oh boy do they ever....not complaining, it's just facts :). The priority is family. In contrast, a lot of trp content seems to be written by single, childless men.
/r/RedPillWives20/05/21 08:40 PM
1

I think this comment gets at the heart of the issue of posts about boyfriends liking Instagram models. Lusting after women online--women that a man will never meet, let alone have--is perceived by girlfriends as simpy, cringy, "low value" behavior. I think if these dudes were getting IOIs, phone numbers or even sex from actual desirable women, their girlfriends would be less grossed out by their behavior. Not the these behaviors would help a relationship, but the guys would be perceived as "the …
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/21 09:39 PM
14

I have a master's that's entirely useless. It depends on your field, of course, but I've observed that it's making connections prior to leaving the workforce that really matters. Be in good standing with managers and coworkers, get involved in a trade association for your field, maintain contact with former colleagues (just taking them out for a coffee and chat works), volunteer with some well known group in your area. I really wish I had done more of this before I had kids because it's way hard…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/21 03:24 PM
3

Making your peace with your man pursuing his dreams, especially if they're risky or dangerous in any way, is one of the harder things for a woman to do in marriage. My husband took up an extreme sport at some point after we got married, and there were days when I thought I'd have an easier time dealing with an affair. One of the most accurate RP aphorisms is that it's men who are the idealists and romantics (in the literary sense), and it's women who're pragmatic.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/21 03:39 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/21 02:20 AM
4

I think all of Anna Karenina and Kreutzer Sonata and some parts of War and Peace and the Death of Ivan Ilyich really lend themselves to a red pill analysis. Tolstoy covers so many themes and concepts that we talk about here. I just began his novella Family Happiness, about the marriage of an 18 year old woman to a 36 year old man, I'm sure there's interesting stuff there as well . I'd love a monthly pinned post where we can talk about RP concepts in fiction (books, movies, etc.) since that's nor…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/21 01:38 AM
2

Good comment. It made me think of a French movie called The Closet in which a schlubby beta office worker pretends to be gay in a last ditch effort to save his job at an LGBT friendly company. There's a convoluted plot that boils down to him becoming confident and self-assured by ignoring women. At the end he says something like "Not caring about women helped me become a man!" The movie ends with him getting a hot young girlfriend.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/21 07:42 PM
24

I grew up in a Soviet immigrant family with similar guidance. Doing well in school and getting a college education and career was absolutely expected. But my parents also thought women should be feminine, pretty, slim, cook and clean well, and avoid being shrews. (When I was dating, my dad once asked me once how I expected to get a boyfriend if I didn't wear heels or makeup.) It was also assumed that all normal women want marry a successful, masculine man and have children eventually, and should…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/21 11:18 PM
2

The best RPW advice (and RP advice for women in general) is to consider what qualities you can offer a man in a relationship. Can you offer the qualities that men value?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/21 05:39 PM
11

I've thought about how to best describe femininity and the best I can come up with is traits and behaviors that appeal to male idealism and romanticism about women. Traits that make men feel affection for women and invoke a sense of protectiveness. For many women, these traits come naturally. Others do not have them, but can develop them with time if they're interested. There are women who're very good at performing feminine traits in a strategic way (the old phrase "feminine wiles" evokes this …
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/21 05:38 PM
4

Late 30s F, married, purple leaning red. My fav is Atlas.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/21 11:08 PM
3

I think there are three different ideas here: Modern marriage culture is cheesy and cringy (agreed, and I don't think you need to be RP or conservative to have this view, plenty of liberals/feminists dislike it as well). Marriage makes people let themselves go (agreed, marriage is a psychological end game, both men and women feel like they can now relax, to the detriment of their marriage). Being lovers, sensuality, and sexiness in marriage is a component of traditional values/marriage (disagree…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/21 07:59 PM
5

Motherhood is bittersweet. It can be both fulfilling and frustrating. Women who dedicate themselves to their families understand this and probably don't idealize motherhood the way some trad-leaning but childless people do. Do sahms encourage their daughters to pursue important careers or just to get some sort of an education/job? Hardly anyone in mainstream western culture aims to start a family at 18, there's no path for it. Sahm doesn't equal religious trad wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/21 04:30 PM
2

One thing that's helped me be more emotive is participating in Toastmasters, which is kind of like a support group for people who want to get better at public speaking. An acting or improv class can help as well, it's a similar type of exercise. And also, having kids (not that it's any kind of a simple solution, obviously!) Interacting with young kids really pushed me out of my shell and helped me become more expressive. Not always in a good way, kids can be frustrating. But I'm definitely more …
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/21 04:51 PM
5

I have the same personality and I feel that all in all, it's been more of an asset than a detriment. Can you include some examples of how your personality is stopping you from achieving the things that you want?
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/21 02:35 PM
20

Well, if you want the time-tested RP quotes and aphorisms, I highly recommend the novel Dangerous Liaisons! It's a story of sexual intrigue and seduction among the 18th century Parisian aristocrats, published in the 1780s but still very readable today. Lots of observations on sex, love, and gender relations that wouldn't be out of place in the various RP subs.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/21 04:18 PM
4

Yes, I'm talking solely about how difficult and time consuming work was in the home before the Industrial revolution made it much easier...giving housewives more time to ponder issues that Friedan brings up. But, sure, women have worked outside of the home for a long time. They worked as domestic servants, farmhands, assistants to their husband in whatever business he was in, in female-led trades like dressmaker or seamstress and so on. (And of course in the 19th century women went to work in fa…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/21 02:07 PM
26

Hey, idle hands are the devil's playground. I mean, having a life that's way too comfortable and leisurely is a problem, too. What's there for a woman to do in the home if she is surrounded by labor- saving devices, has 1-3 kids tops, and takes advantage of universal schooling for those kids? (Yes, the women here who're passionate about being housewives and rebels against mainstream culture would find plenty to do in the home, but most women are not like that.) There's a reason that the idle bou…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/21 05:46 AM
2

It's in Anna Karenina, where Levin gives his bride a written account of his sexual past. But as I said in my other comment, this seemed to be an...unusual practice, more based on more on Tolstoy's own weirdness than something that men routinely did.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 05:02 PM
8

The only example in 19th century literature (if we interpret "Victorian" as 19th century Europe, I think Russian aristos can fall in that category) I can think of where a man is open about his use of prostitutes to his wife is in fact Anna Karenina, where a male character gives his bride a written account of all the women he's slept with. The bride is disgusted, in tears! (I think this is based on Tolstoy's own confessions to his wife prior to their marriage, she had the same reaction. This seem…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/21 04:55 PM
2

I lurk a lot on PPD, and I gotta say I love Atlas' comments. I think she gets it right most of the time. And I get a kick out of how she calls out both RP and BP folks on their nonsense.
/r/RedPillWives17/12/20 05:01 AM
30

I was exactly the same way before I had kids. Felt uncomfortable around kids, especially young kids. When co-workers brought in their kids or babies, I made myself scarce. Didn't find them cute and certainly didn't want to hold them. Thought babies were kind of terrifying. Anyway, it all changed after I had my first baby. I liked my own baby and thought she was fascinating! When I was pregnant, I took a labor/baby class and read a few books about how to take care of a baby, but that was my only …
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/20 09:35 PM
1

A practical "business" type marriage can work if upheld by social structures/pressure. Without that social pressure, there's plenty of incentive to flounce. A woman can deeply love a man deeply if he has at least some attractive masculine qualities, strong frame, etc., and can more or less maintain them. That may seem unfair, but I think it's been that way since time immemorial. It's not something caused by feminism, it's the way of the world. But feminism did help to destroy the practical marri…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/20 05:59 PM
4

One downside of the Western culture of romantic love is that people form unreasonable and hyper earnest ideas about love, among which is "unconditional" love in long-term romantic relationships. I see this expectation and subsequent dissappointment even in RP circles. For much of recent history, marriage was first about mutual duty, obligation, and need, held in check by social expectations and consequences. Your grandparents' marriage seems to be a great example of this. Loving acts may have be…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/20 04:28 PM
4

I have three, and we're very done! I'm in my late 30s, my husband is in his 40s. We were really on the fence about having a third, and ultimately pulled the trigger (heh). It was probably not the most rational decision my husband and I made, we'd definitely have more money and a bit more capacity if we stuck with two. But I don't regret it, and it helps that kid #3 is adorable and easy going, and his siblings love him. I do find that going beyond two kids makes people raise their eyebrows, like,…
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/20 02:49 AM
5

A man's personality/charisma/intellect/talent/etc. can certainly spark physical attraction, where without these qualities a man would seem physically unattractive. Physical attraction early on is very important if you're aiming for a successful romantic relationship, it's the source of a woman's organic (as opposed to dutiful) submission and respect for a man. Edit: "Early on" doesn't necessarily mean at first sight, but in the early stages (months, even 1-2 years) of the relationship, which is …
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/20 06:32 PM
6

If you live in a culture where people marry for stability instead of love, I think you can make that sort of marriage work. Everyone around you will have married for stability and people will go into marriage expecting stability first, not romantic love. And, I'd guess that in these cultures men tend to socialize with men, and women with women, in large extended families, so there's less of an expectation of a spouse as lover, best friend, and confidant, like in the West. If, however, you live i…
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/20 02:05 PM
2

Look into joining Toastmasters. It's a very useful, albeit quirky, organization where you can work on refining your speech and getting rid of filler words in a friendly setting.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/20 04:37 PM
7

Truth be told, I think many red pill and the various "trad" people have a very idealized and sentimental view of traditional marriage, motherhood and homemaking--and only a minority of women really excel in traditional relationships with traditional responsibilities. Maybe a large minority, but far from all women. Those women who long for a more conservative sexual culture or traditional lifestyle are shortchanged by mainstream Western culture, and they resent it the most.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/20 06:47 PM
3

If you're talking about traditionally feminine hobbies like crafting, cooking, makeup, etc., I agree there's no mainstream objection to these interests. Plenty of liberal feminists are into this stuff. Cooking and crafting are particularly "woke" and progressive. (In my midwestern city, many vendors at craft fairs are tattooed hipster chicks with Bettie Page bangs and Planned Parenthood bumper stickers on their cars.) I do think red pill women have some legitimate complaints about bigger life ch…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/20 03:32 PM
9

Despite all the talk about how SATC showed empowered, strong, sexually liberated women, I though it often humiliated and degraded its female characters for laughs, especially in the earlier seasons. They're always in some ridiculous situation with a smug or useless dude who leaves with a shrug while the women stumble around befuddled or devastated. I mean, look at the opening credits--Carrie is jaunting down the street in her silly tutu, which gets splatted by a bus and the sequence ends with Ca…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/20 03:46 AM
1

Unless there was abuse, addiction or maybe terrible blowout fights that scared the kids, I would most certainly stay for their sake. Actually, it would also be for my sake, because the logistics of raising kids, especially small kids, especially multiple kids, on one's own, are nightmarish. Trying to get three kids ready and into the car on a weekday morning alone would make me stay. A typical evening of cooking and feeding everyone dinner, cleaning the kitchen, packing lunches, helping with hom…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/20 06:35 PM
2

You know, I was specifically thinking of 18th century French aristocracy because it's an example of a culture of arranged marriage and also adultery. The 18th century novel Dangerous Liaisons gives a really great inside look at this arrangement, and the idea of love, even "real" love, that's in no way connected to marriage. It's an extremely red pilled book, too. It's hard for women to find a man who brings both sexual passion and the qualities of a good husband/father. The eternal feminine dile…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/20 04:51 PM
6

A man who says this might mean that he is sexually or even emotionally infatuated with a woman, and wants to enjoy this infatuation through a fling or an affair for as long as the passion might last, but cannot picture this infatuation happening in a committed relationship. A serious relationship or marriage will often dampen sexual/emotional infatuation over time. I think we have a hard time imagining this kind of "love" because in mainstream Western culture starting sometime in the 20th centur…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/20 03:54 PM
12

I think some women continue to work because it can be very challenging to rejoin the workforce after leaving for some number of years--and it's not uncommon for women to plan to go back to work at some point once the kids are older. Many employers, especially in white collar, corporate jobs, will not look past a resume gap.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/20 05:50 PM
76

I think it's a combination of: -The immense needs of a baby in its first year, especially if it's the first child and the mom has a lot of self doubt or insecurity about how to best take care of it. -Physical exhaustion, lack of sleep. -Lack of desire caused by breastfeeding and/or postpartum recovery. -Infatuation with the baby, because as difficult as babies can be, they're also delightful and endlessly fascinating. When I had my first...it was almost like falling in love. -For women who weren…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/20 04:48 AM
10

I have three--had them at 31, 33 and 36. We're now done having kids!
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/20 05:44 PM
3

So as a disclaimer, I'm older than you, so social media isn't as important in my circles, but most people I know have at least one social profile, usually Facebook or LinkedIn. May I suggest having a bare bones profile but not posting anything proactively? Being on Facebook does help me keep up with family and acquaintances, and find events and groups that are useful. However, I don't post anything besides basic info on my own profile, and I use FB to keep tabs on what others are up to and to li…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/20 06:58 PM
9

I think the idea is that if you can patiently and calmly wait for a man to commit to you, you're not that excited to have sex with him in the first place. If he's not sexually exciting, you'll find it harder to respect him, happily submit to him, or enjoy sex with him when you do eventually end up sleeping together. Conversely, a man who calmly and patiently waits for whatever you may define as commitment also might tend to be sexually boring, passive, or "beta." Obviously, there can exceptions …
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/20 07:22 PM
1

I have mixed feelings about these types of posts. Your advice isn't wrong! However, I think it's easier to mind over matter when you have a reasonably easy pregnancy, and that is often a matter of luck. I mean, I've been pregnant or breastfeeding nonstop since spring 2013. I'm 10 pounds lighter now than I was when I first got pregnant. I found it pretty easy to control my cravings and work out mainly because I was blessed with easy pregnancies--very mild morning sickness, good energy, felt good …
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/20 04:33 AM
2

Pride and Prejudice also has an excellent example of what probably 90% of marriages were like prior to love marriage and female financial independence becoming a universal standard in the West: the marriage of Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins. Charlotte is offering virginity and dutiful but uninspired obedience, while Mr. Collins is offering financial support and social respectability. Both are totally indifferent to each other!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/20 07:36 PM
8

Well, that's standard advice for RP men, it's good advice for fulfilling the male imperative: https://medium.com/@RationalMale/wait-for-it-b66c9880d096 "Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It’s sex first, then relationship, not the other way around." Is it good advice for women? I think it can be, but only if he's a good man, you play your cards right with great "girl game" post-sex, AND, frankly, luck is on your side. Proceed with extrem…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/20 02:39 PM
3

My father in law and brother in law both advised my husband to sit back and let me make all the decisions. :) My brother in law half jokes that he got married so he wouldn't need to think--his wife handles all the thinking/planning/decision making in the marriage. I think it's bad advice for obvious reasons. My FIL and BIL are very nice people and seem to be reasonably content in their own marriages, but I'd take anything they say with a pile of salt.
/r/RedPillWives05/10/20 02:33 PM
2

Someone on the RedPillWomen sub did a chapter by chapter review of FW. I think it's linked to in their sidebar/wiki. The username was something like January Arya.
/r/RedPillWives04/10/20 02:51 PM
3

Shrimp stir fry (frozen shrimp defrosts in 15 mins, don't need to plan ahead). Tacos (cook some ground beef or whatever meat you like, the rest is tortillas and toppings, which you can buy). I always have frozen meatballs on hand. They cook very quickly in the oven. Also, salmon and fish in general can be prepared very quickly. I like to use the oven on weekdays because it's hands-off and there's less cleaning (no oil splatters on the stove).
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/20 03:45 AM
10

I think the term homemaking can sound kind of daunting or ambitious! It may help to think about it as basic tasks you need to do to keep your home reasonably clean and orderly while still making time for fun and relaxation. I work and we have young kids. Some stuff I try to do: -Make very simple meals on weekdays with minimal prep or hands-on work. Baked boneless, skinless chicken thighs and steamed rice, that kind of thing. I find this more efficient than elaborate meal planning/prep on weekend…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/20 09:25 PM
3

You're right, Princess Marya is kind of crazy religious. Natasha is too flawed as both a single and married woman to qualify for this thread. Kitty was my second choice because....... potential spoiler alert....she got all awalty by originally rejecting super duper nice guy Levin and falling for chad cad Vronsky! But I suppose Tolstoy gave her what he considered a redemption arc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/20 03:11 AM
6

Kitty from Anna Karenina and Princess Marya are Tolstoy's examples of what good women "should" be like, very aligned with RP and trad values. Tolstoy's talent as a writer makes these characters believable, they're not caricatures or pure fantasies.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 06:40 PM
5

I can think of a fictional character that fits the description above! You want Princess Marya from War and Peace. Edit: ok, maybe not so much physically attractive...but she's everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 06:17 PM
4

Years ago, the "game" blogger Roissy in DC (anyone remember that guy?) advised men to avoid talking a lot on dates and put the burden of keeping up a conversation on women! According to Roissy, a man of few words was more attractive to women than a chatty guy, and silence flipped the typical script and forced the woman to entertain and try to please the man. Anyway, Laura Doyle's advice here strays too much into overthinking for me. I dunno, it seems too cerebral and self consciously strategic. …
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 06:07 PM
3

Your dad's statement is not incorrect...but I'd add that regardless of youth, couples stay together because they can't afford not to (this is usually due to financial cost or the complicated logistics of post divorce life. Traditionally, social condemnation of divorce played a part in keeping couples together). Couples stay together because their past binds them, true... but also because it gets harder to start your life over as you get older. Source: my own parents' mostly unhappy marriage of 4…
/r/RedPillWives29/09/20 02:21 PM
4

This is the reply that made the "ding ding ding" sound for me. One of the downsides of the move to love marriage in the 19th/20th centuries is the expectation of life-long emotional and sexual passion, which few couples can sustain, even those who have passionate relationships early on (before kids, the responsibilities of family life, aging, declining health, etc.). I would guess that in the past married couples simply didn't expect exciting sex throughout their entire marriage ( sex doled out …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 07:04 PM
1

I think AWALT is a thing for TRP guys because Western mainstream culture tends to encourage womens' "bad" tendencies (let's say open hypergamy, solipsism) while the negative traits that are more common in men (like violence, aggression) are very actively discouraged and shamed. For example, there's endless talk in the media and pop culture about toxic masculinity, but there's no female equivalent term or concept.
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 11:34 PM
5

I don't know much about Dr. Laura specifically. I do think if the ideas you're publicly endorsing are considered highly offensive and contrary to mainstream thinking--like anti feminist or RP stuff--it really helps to consistently follow your own advice in your private life so that no one can accuse you of hypocrisy--even if your ideas are essentially true and stand on their own. A countercultural thought leader doesn't have a lot of wiggle room to make mistakes. I mean, your ideological enemies…
/r/RedPillWives24/09/20 02:30 PM
30

Re: your unpopular opinion....there's a very controversial (and generally hyper liberal) career coach called Penelope Trunk who endorses just that! Specifically, she tells women who're really serious about their careers to marry successful older men whose own careers are winding down and who're willing to retire or semi retire to focus on the kids and the household.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/20 03:25 PM
7

Re: regarding your second paragraph, Roosh V, of all people, said the same thing once, and caused quite a stir! As much as the concept of the Wall is generally correct, I think there is a bit of a just world fallacy where some guys expect that wicked slutty women are ultimately punished for their ways while scorned men eventually prosper...which is only sometimes true. https://www.rooshv.com/the-wall-is-softer-than-we-think
/r/RedPillWives21/09/20 02:50 PM
11

My husband and I have an 8 year gap-- was 28 and my husband was 36 when we met. While I was open to dating men my age when we met, I really liked the idea of dating a somewhat older guy because they were more likely to get serious and, frankly, I also liked the idea of always seeming younger looking to my partner. I liked that my husband was more than ready for a serious LTR when we met--we went from first date to wedding in 19 months. There was no dithering about "where is this going?" The slig…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/20 02:11 PM
10

I mostly lurk here and at rpw and occasionally chime in. I'm in my late 30s, married 8 years, three kids, 7, 5, 1. We live in the U.S., flyover country. 😁 I have an office job (working from home since covid-19 hit). I like to read about RP from a secular or evolutionary psychology perspective.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/20 03:46 PM
5

You know, I think that all successful, sexually charged hetero relationships follow a red pill dynamic to some extent--even if the participants are not RP aware and have impeccable feminist credentials and would be quite shocked and outraged to be described as RP. As for women who've found and "bought" the red pill ...I suspect--and I could be totally off base here-- that a lot of us are oddballs or misfits in some way. I certainly was! I mean, RP is a niche online social movement for men. It's …
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 07:06 AM
3

I think there's something to this. I have a naturally submissive personality. In most aspects of my life, I've preferred to follow and play a support role. I don't love having to make major decisions. Very mild sub kink, too. I think the red pill is a more or less accurate overview of male/female dynamics, but on a purely personal level, RP appealed because of my personality. It told me it way okay to be submissive and to defer to a (good) man. I'm not sure exactly how family plays into this, bu…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/20 05:31 AM
3

Based on personal experience, I would say splitting the work of childcare is not incompatible with the RPW. How you split childcare and who does what tasks might be different from what you imagine, and as others have mentioned, you'll rarely have a perfect 50/50 split. My husband and I both work full time, but his job is more stressful and complicated than mine. Childcare is split 60% me, 40% him (his words just now--and I happen to agree!). I breastfed all three of our kids, so I handled pretty…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/20 05:56 PM
2

I can't answer this question at all, but I also wonder about pair bonding because it's by far the murkiest RP concept for me. I have questions like: -How does pair bonding account for the difference in sex with beta and alpha men? If a woman has 6 unexciting shlubby beta partners and then finds her 5 mins of alpha guy, does she still pair bond less with him although he's the most (or only) exciting sex partner she's had? -What's the explanation for pair bonding if, until the last 150 years, most…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/20 01:24 AM
2

In general, I think pregnancy/motherhood is one of the riskiest things women can embark on. We talk so much about vetting our men, but you can't vet your pregnancy or childbirth experience...or your children, for that matter! You get what you get. I often think it's so extremely weird that as a very risk-averse person, I had somehow still had three kids! I was also extremely afraid of pain, got sick looking at needles, etc. I think what helped me is thinking about how this is really the safest t…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/20 04:01 PM
7

I broke up with my first and second boyfriends because I sensed some serious red flags/incompatibility...and then got back together with them because they very earnestly and eloquently told me they would change...and because I was afraid of being alone and "wasting" the effort and time I had put into those relationships. (And also because I just felt bad for these guys...they weren't terrible men.) In both cases, going back was a big mistake that caused me to waste an even bigger chunk of my 20s…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/20 04:11 PM
2

I very much agree that most women work for practical reasons, not because they're striving to be boss babes. However, I'd argue that the boss babe narrative is pushed loudly and incessantly by all media and entertainment geared toward women. It's especially pernicious because it glamorizes only white-collar, corporate career women (CEOs and various corporate execs, academics, maybe a handful of women in STEM) who have the resources and time to pursue self actualization through a career.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/20 03:02 AM
6

This is a pretty awesome post. I'd add that before the Industrial Revolution, women worked in the home/farm ( as u/hammocknapping describes) and even sometimes outside the home--for example, single women working as live-in domestic servants or farmhands. In the home, it seems like the focus was on labor, not so much on cozy domesticity or super attentive motherhood, in contrast to today's homemakers. What different and probably unprecedented about the work women are encouraged to do today is tha…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/20 10:26 PM
6

Endless and aimless dating--the social shift from seeing dating as something that should naturally lead to marriage within a reasonable amount of time to dating for years (decades?) for the sake of dating/hooking up. Also add to this endless and aimless cohabitation. In the past, for better or worse, society (parents, church, social opinion) helped push men and women toward commitment, with obligations and duties clearly spelled out for each side. Now, women are on their own trying to secure com…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/20 02:57 PM
6

Wake up. Snuggle with kids, they find their way into our bed in the morning. Husband and I get the kids ready for preschool/camp. Drop off kids. Shower, put on a bra, tank top, yoga pants. Work day starts! Work from home, squeezing in home making in between work tasks. Vacuum or do laundry or start dinner, etc. At first working from home felt extremely weird, now I like it. Eat a late breakfast and an early dinner. Maybe walk the dog or go for a bike ride. After work, kids have tball or swim cla…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/20 09:52 PM
26

Well, I don't know if I'm a "high value woman," but.... I was horribly shy and awkward most of life and had very few friends. I spent most of my 20s in two relationships that had red flags from the start, which I ignored because it seems better to be with someone than to be completely lonely. Finally, at 28, I ended a dead-end relationship and started working on my social skills. Joined Toastmasters, went to Meetups and networking events, started speaking up in social settings. Also joined an on…
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/20 05:58 PM
3

I second the recommendation for I Capture the Castle. It's little known but totally charming, set in the era of Downtown Abbey. It goes into a lot of RP concepts (in a very lighthearted, thoughtful way)--especially settling, beta orbiters, and the friend zone.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/20 06:33 PM
13

I completely agree about the value of RPW and the falsehoods and lies of a lot of BP messaging. There's no convincing BP people--either life experience and time will lead them to accept at least some RP truths...or it won't (most likely the latter). I do think women who may be open to some RPW messages--and if they're on PPD, they're at least willing to debate RP--will stumble over the following on this sub: -The debate over how a woman should communicate that she wants commitment before sex, an…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/20 05:49 PM
2

I'm all for it, but I think we'd need mod approval for an RPW book club because of the general no examples from fiction rule. :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/20 06:47 PM
9

The comment about Tolstoy is the most triggering thing I've ever read on RPW! Kara_El, you break my heart! (In all seriousness, I would so love to have a book club on RPW where we talk about novels, including classic lit, from the RP perspective. Tolstoy describes so many RP concepts.)
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/20 05:49 PM
15

I think Mrs Midwest is an interesting case study in being a red pill influencer. Personally, I find her content pretty bland. There's more actionable advice and inspiration during an average week at RPW than in her blogs and videos That said, Mrs Midwest is interesting because: -She claims to be a housewife while growing a online business. Shooting and editing videos, blogging, instagramming, dealing with sponsors, etc. doesn't happen on its own. She's really running at least a part time small b…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/20 08:23 PM
29

I always had trouble making female friends, not really because of political differences, but because I was extremely shy and socially awkward most of my life. It bothered me a lot until I got married and had kids. Family keeps me so busy that I don't really think about making new friends or investing time into maintaining awkward friendships. When I do meet up with female acquaintances, they all have young kids, so that's a natural topic of conversation that rarely becomes political. Unfortunate…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/20 03:24 PM
1

That’s not man or woman’s fault, just a product of modern comfort. I think this is the money quote in this thread and I'd love to read more of your thoughts on this. Would we even have feminism in its current form without modernity? Without the technology that sprung from the Industrial Revolution?
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/20 07:58 PM
4

Preach! Caring for your home and family is far more important and enduring than what most people do in the workforce. But--once you add kids to the mix (especially young kids, or multiple kids)--it's not always relaxing or enjoyable or leisurely. It's often the opposite! I say this as a woman who was born to be a middle aged mom and wife. 😁 I do think that various trad and RP spaces sugarcoat the effort that goes into successful sahm-ing. It's the most important work that many of us will do. But…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/20 10:07 PM
4

I like catchy indie rock and classical music. As for feminine and beautiful, I especially like indie bands like Camera Obscura and Alvvays.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/20 05:04 PM
5

I personally don't like the term career. It implies (and people use it to mean) commitment to a long-term path, something you're constantly developing or growing. I prefer the word job--something you do primarily for money/benefits--not self actualization, pleasure or ambition (but if you're lucky, you may enjoy or at least not mind doing this work). I've never been an ambitious person, hated the idea of being a leader or taking charge. I'm good in a support role. 60 years ago, I would have happ…
/r/RedPillWomen12/05/20 07:20 PM
17

When we met, my husband owned a dog that was very loyal to him but unfriendly to everyone else--a difficult dog that needed a lot of training. I was really impressed by the sheer patience and the combo of affection and discipline that my husband showed when working with the dog. These traits convinced me that he'd be a good father, since kids can really try your patience and do tons of unpredictable and irrational stuff. And now we have three kids and still have the dog, who really mellowed out …
/r/RedPillWomen11/05/20 04:44 PM
2

No prob! I don't really have all-purpose advice but I do like the RPW sub and this one for women who're open to exploring the red pill from a mostly non religious perspective. As you hint, it's not easy to warm someone up to this stuff! Wait, I guess I would recommend that the husband and wife think of themselves as a team in parenting instead of playing the suffering Olympics, arguing about who does more or gets less sleep. It's all easier if they have a successful, happy relationship before th…
/r/RedPillWives07/05/20 06:21 PM
1

I don't think we're very "trad" at all besides our commitment to our marriage and choosing to have to three kids, which is kind of a lot of kids in our circles! (Edited to add: I was probably a lot more conservative and "trad" when I was single and younger! ) I just think the red pill accurately describes sexual dynamics and provides good tools for successful heterosexual romantic relationship. I treat my husband like the leader of the family and he makes the final call on big decisions. I try t…
/r/RedPillWives06/05/20 07:41 PM
2

You're welcome! There was a time in my life when the "trad" life really appealed and I ended up going to a very conservative Baptist church with a religious friend-- not because I was into religion but because I was hoping to find people who practiced a conservative trad lifestyle. In the end, though, I don't think I could have been with someone who was earnestly religious. The man I ultimately married is a total atheist! Also agree with you about social cohesion--this is hardly an original insi…
/r/RedPillWives06/05/20 06:20 PM
3

Hey, I have the same cultural background! Anyway, while religion is also not my thing, I generally think that religious beliefs codify things that "work" or make society function. OP, you might like the book the Faith Instinct by NYT reporter Nicholas Wade. He argues that religious beliefs evolve through natural selection and enforce rules that benefit groups as a whole. It's written for a nonreligious audience by a nonreligious (I think) man, so it's a very accessible read.
/r/RedPillWives06/05/20 05:38 PM
1

I don't, but I did read a lot of red pill stuff written for men long before I discovered this space--especially Rollo Tomassi and Athol Kay. I think reading higher quality male bloggers or writers can be helpful for women to better understand and appreciate men. At some point though, I do think you need to take what you've learned, put it into practice, and disconnect from these spaces entirely. I found that with time, stuff like Rollo's blog and especially his commenters made me more cynical an…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/20 07:36 PM
8

I'm not too familiar Laura Doyle, but as a "thought leader" in this space, she'd have to say her techniques generally work, wouldn't she? It's her brand and livelihood. It would be ackward to give examples of women for whom her advice didn't work! All self help experts should be taken with a grain (bag?) of salt. In any case, the previous commenter makes a good case for vetting. I think Athol Kay (former RP blogger for men) wrote that a man's goal when picking a wife should be having the happies…
/r/RedPillWives21/04/20 03:40 PM
2

I'm lucky enough to have an 8-5 job corporate job that isn't terribly stressful, with lots of flexibility on hours and no to minimal work on evenings or weekends. Truth be told, there's not all that much work to do--much of it is a BS office job that RP men love to mock women for having. However, it's provided a decent salary and benefits for nearly a decade and helps supplement my husband's small business income, while allowing me to focus mental effort on our family life and kids instead of th…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/20 06:50 PM
3

The two eras most often considered "traditional" in RP/trad realms are the 1950s and the 1850s--but both are extremely, radically untraditional! The 1950s for reasons you pointed out, and the 1850s for enabling some middle-class women to care solely for children and the comforts of the home, thanks to goods being produced outside the home due to the Industrial Revolution. Previously, these women would have needed to produce goods in the home, which would leave a lot less time to focus on the wel…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/20 04:30 PM
3

My husband is calm and very distracted by work right now. He works from home anyway and has been swamped by assignments lately. He doesn't read the news besides a daily glance at the headlines. He doesn't read think pieces about covid. We are financially stable for now. So he's in a good headspace. I'm the one getting anxious and honestly spending waaay too much time looking at the news and social media and this or that pundit. My husband threatened to cut me off! Sometimes I feel like I'm in a …
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 10:45 PM
19

I wish these articles differentiated more between "careerist" feminist women, whose main reason for working outside the house is self-actualization, and women who work mainly because they need money (or health insurance).
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 08:21 PM
16

About three weeks (3 dates). I don't know if I'd necessarily recommend that, but it worked out for me. I'll concede that I was just lucky. Everything felt right, there was attraction, no red flags. We moved in together after 9 months of dating, engaged 6 months later, and married 4 months after the engagement. Together for 9 years now. Probably helped that my husband was 36 when we met and ready for something serious. In contrast, in my two previous LTRs, we waited for months...and both of those…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/20 02:22 PM
1

These aren't RP in the sense of how to be a good RPW, but good movies that tackle RP concepts in general: Force Majeure: A husband fails to protect his wife and children during a minor, and ultimately, inconsequential, natural disaster, leading to the breakup of his marriage because the wife can't respect him anymore. RP theme: burden of performance. Pauline at the Beach: A sly and chatty French movie. A nice, young, good looking man is baffled that his girlfriend falls for an old, balding, mora…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/20 09:03 PM
68

Having kids with a good guy is great. Having kids with a subpar man is, I imagine, among the worst things a woman can do with her life. No life decision is more important for a woman than picking a man who'd be a good father for their children. My biggest fear in life, after something happening to my children, is losing my husband.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/20 12:40 AM
4

Who is pressuring you to do it all? Is it you? I suspect people who're naturally driven feel pressure to do it all, but that pressure is often internal. While I get what you're saying--I have a husband, 3 kids, a job, a dog and a house--I'm not sure your life would that much easier if you played only the role of the woman. It's funny to me that people insist that managing a household and raising multiple kids while keeping yourself fit and attractive and also making time for your husband, your h…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/20 09:09 PM
1

I think it's fascinating and honestly hard to believe that men these days marry primarily for steady sex. Not challenging you, just expressing surprise. I could easily believe it in previous centuries, when "nice" women were off limits until marriage and men had to pay for sex in brothels (and risk STDs) or be bold or rich enough to seduce a woman. But these days, especially for young college guys, I'd think sex with a college girlfriend who's not yet fretting about commitment or her biological …
/r/RedPillWives05/03/20 03:43 PM
1

And not incidentally, children are also now a lifestyle choice made to experience the (sometimes dubious) joys of parenting! No one needs children to work the family farm anymore. Is there a red pill for human behavior? It should hold that no one does anything unless you need to do it to eat or there are harsh and immediate social consequences for not doing it. On a different note, are single parent households caused by divorce or choice (single moms) worse than widowed households in past centur…
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/20 05:49 PM
3

Why just a passing mention of the Industrial Revolution? It was a big fat wrecking ball for the traditional lifestyle, including gender roles. Could anything that feminists promoted be possible on a mass scale without industrialization (and advances in science/medicine)? Edit: To answer the questions, marriage is now a lifestyle choice because you no longer need a partner to run a pre-Industrial household. Marriage is now based on the perceived emotional and sexual satisfaction of both parties. …
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/20 09:49 PM
0

When I was single, I would have felt less attracted to a man who admitted to being a virgin or had a very low n count. I once briefly dated a guy who was raised in a religious family and, in his mid 20s, had been with just one woman. When we talked about having sex, I found myself feeling like I would be corrupting him! It made me feel like I was being placed in the man's role in the relationship. As a kind of shy and sexually unsure person when I was dating, I preferred to be led by a more expe…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/20 07:51 PM
8

Interesting! I did some math and found that in my seven years of marriage, I had a period for a total of maybe 18 months, tops. I had three kids in six-ish years and breastfed them all, so no period from conception to more than a year postpartum for each kid. I wonder if women traditionally were less influenced or aware of changes in mood brought on by their cycles because they spent a lot more time being pregnant and breastfeeding than modern women. While I love not having to deal with a period…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/20 05:49 PM
14

While this article wasn't for me in the practical sense, I got a kick out of the endorsement of good, old-fashioned coquetry. We don't talk much on RPW about using feminine wiles--should we?
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/20 03:25 PM
8

As they say, the man is the head but the woman is the neck! Traditionally, I think men were expected to be leaders of their household, whether they were worthy or not. But, also traditionally, women usurped their husbands' authority when they needed to (married to an incompetent man) or wanted to (married to a weak man).
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 03:46 PM
13

To me, submission means my husband has the final say on major family/life decisions--like when to buy house, our kids' education, what kind of car to get and so on. This include him owning those decisions (doing home maintenance, researching cars, etc.). There's plenty of day to day family stuff where my husband doesn't get involved--I make all the decisions. It's like he's the CEO and I'm the COO. I'll add that these things make submission easy/easier: -Being a naturally submissive person in ge…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 03:36 PM
8

I left work early so my husband and I could have sex while the kids were at school. 😁 (He works from home.) He bought me flowers and strawberries earlier in the day and I got him a photo card with cute pix of the kids and a little rhyme about how much we love him. Tonite we're having pizza with the kids and eating their Valentine's candy.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/20 12:44 AM
2

There a couple of approaches to the red pill as I see it. The big one is that red pill ideas, which tend to be unpleasant "truths" about the differences between men and women, are rooted in evolutionary biology. This approach is generally amoral and not prescriptive (like, here's the truth, use it in whatever way benefits your life). There's also the more "traditional conservative" (trad con) faction that accepts a lot of red pill ideas, but roots them in religion, conservative philosophy, or "t…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/20 03:47 PM
2

This is an excellent comment. Being a homemaker or sahm is a great thing with a capable, dedicated man...but the same situation with a lacking man can do a number on a woman's life. Careerism (especially careerism in the education field, ugh) is bad for women..but relying on a potentially unstable man for the financial security of your family isn't a recipe for a happy life, either.
/r/RedPillWives11/02/20 03:40 PM
1

I haven't listened to the Red Scare podcast, but it sounds kind of awesome: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thecut.com/amp/2018/10/profile-red-scare-podcast.html It seems to have a hipster milleneal conservative vibe....kind of like the old Vice magazine or Quilette.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/20 03:42 PM
1

I asked my husband how he feels about me versus our daughter and he said, "I dunno, you're both kind of a hassle!" 😂 But seriously, he added that there's not much difference in me vs our daughter vs our sons--he feels responsible for the safety and well-being of the entire family. Maybe even less so for me, because I'm an adult and can take care of myself, but the kids can't. I personally suspect that his feelings may change to become more protective our our daughter as she gets into her teens. …
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/20 10:44 PM
20

Continue your informal education--this could include reading, taking classes, developing skill at hobbies. This is good to do at any age, but you will never have as much time to commit as when you're single in your 20s. If possible, pay down debt or build up savings. For me, it worked out to live at home for part of my 20s while saving up money that l later brought to my marriage to help with our down payment on a house and emergency savings fund. In traditional terms, think of it as a dowry! If…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/20 09:43 PM
4

This is excellent advice, hitting all the key points! I would add that while you're getting ready for marriage/babies, use this time to build up your savings so you're better prepared for the expenses of family life ( wedding, house, babies, etc.) and develop a professional network that you can reach out to if you ever start your own business or try to get back into the workforce after staying home with kids.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/20 02:28 AM
6

Hey, are you me(ish) at 20? -You should definitely get a summer job; doing nothing or relaxing all summer isn't a thing when you're pretty much an adult, unless you're super rich. Even then, loafing for three months is bad for your soul and social skills. -Being sheltered has a certain charm, but can also make you come off as weird or awkward. Getting a job will help "get you out there," interacting with people and learning more about how the world works. -I think from the RPW perspective, havin…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/20 03:47 PM
10

Hey, I struggle with this too. This "soft place to land" stuff is tricky. Some random thoughts: You say you want to be "perfect"--do you have to be perfect? Is there an area where you can slack because your boyfriend doesn't care as much? (Like cooking and cleaning-- I suspect women care about this stuff far more than men do.) Here's a silly example: I went out of my way to make homemade meatballs, and while they were good, my husband was fine with frozen store-bought meatballs. He definitely ap…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/20 10:09 PM
16

To me, I guess it was always self evident that men and women are different, and have different sexual strategies and goals. Discovering RP theory just confirmed what I suspected and observed. Also, I'm from Eastern Europe, and some red pill ideas seemed to be common wisdom when I was growing up. So RP stuff wasn't new or outrageous to me. Finally my personality just jives better with RP than mainstream feminism. I'm not a go-getter leader type. I don't want to one-up men. The over the top, Ameri…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 09:26 PM
17

No, let it go. Even if guy #2 is interested, he's likely to carry a rejection grudge for the course of the entire relationship. It's something he could keep in his back pocket and use during fights or rough times. And he wouldn't be entirely wrong. Also, if you were reaaaally into him, you could probably overlook his lack of career and marriage plans and roll with the punches just to be with him. Finally, you're only 18, it's not like he's your last chance for marriage and children.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/20 03:53 PM
–

I love listening to audio books in the car. Before having kids, I used to read a lot of classic fiction, but now there's really no time to sit down at home with a book. This year I'm also trying to improve my written Russian by reading more in my native language. Given my time constraints, I'm doing this by following a lot of pretty Russian influencers on Instagram. Reading is reading, right? :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/20 05:14 PM
15

The theory is right but the case study is dubious. This guy has no manners! When you're changing plans made ahead of time, whether with an SO or anyone else, a quick heads up is just basic courtesy unless you're in a coma at the hospital or something.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/20 07:38 PM
29

Looking at her post history, advice must be in the context of Jewish Orthodox faith and community to be helpful. What are the expectations around birth control, family size and the man's role in family planning/providing in that community? Edit: Not sure why OP didn't mention this... The family's faith is a big deal. Of course having five kids, some of them them "unplanned," sounds crazy to secular people. But I doubt it's out of the norm in her circles.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/20 01:59 PM
17

Okay, I'll add that I was pretty miffed when I was first banned from that sub. I do find it valuable, in that: a) It's a place to vent freely--I'm mostly interested in the kid rants, nice to know that it's not just my kids who turned into ungrateful demons over Christmas break. b) When I do feel ranty, reading some of the horror stories about husbands and difficult kids makes me feel so grateful for how EASY I have it and how lucky I am. c) There are lots of life lessons on that sub that hopeful…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/20 09:45 PM
8

Ha, same! Banned because I subscribe to RPW. Oh well. This account is now for RPW stuff only. I think that's the only way to do it on Reddit.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/20 08:47 PM
3

I dunno. Holidays are partly about social obligations and duties, and giving gifts or attending social activities are things that people do because it's just social tact, and gives others pleasure. I fully agree that it's unreasonable to expect fancy gifts (I'd do away with gifts for adults completely if I had my way) and make a martyr out of yourself for holiday trappings that no one wants...but, man, this post is cold.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/19 08:02 PM
2

This is very helpful, not just in romantic relationships, but in helping develop social tact overall. It confirms my belief that a rpw should be a bit of an actress when needed. You can say "I like the pink rug more" calmly and indifferently (even when you really like it more) or you could bring a shade of irritation or sarcasm to the same words. The delivery matters.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/19 05:48 PM
3

I'm a fan of small, goofy touches like this. I used to do silly little stick person drawings of myself and my husband leave them on the fridge or text them. Pro tip: instead of sending nudies ( never ever), send slightly obscene doodles or poems, the funnier the better. 😁
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/19 10:12 PM
3

Boneless chicken thighs are delicious and cook fast. I coat them in mayo and grainy German mustard and bake at 425.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/19 09:42 PM
1

How's your relationship with your husband? I mean, how into him are you? It seems odd that a young, newly married rpw isn't feeling inspired to make a nice home, be a good wife, etc. Maybe it's worth focusing your efforts on your relationship with your husband. What's missing? The everything sucks comment is disturbing, too. Do you have a history of depression or anxiety? That may be something else to consider and treat.
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/19 03:27 PM
2

Yep... In developed Western nations, personal happiness is the purpose of life. So we all have outsized expectations of happiness, plus the modern media machine (social and otherwise) creating false perceptions of happiness. Would we be more happy without feminism? I don't know...there are plenty of reasons to rag on feminism, but I'm not sure that reducing "happiness" is one of them. This assumes there's some kind of happiness baseline and that feminism wrecked it. I personally suspect that wom…
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/19 10:49 PM
7

Yeah, that's true. But I think it's an interesting parlor game anyway, at least in attempting to compare women's happiness in industralized nations. And it's more interesting than OP's low-effort dig at feminism. (As if patriarchy and its restraints on women's behavior existed primarily to make women "happy"!)
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/19 05:36 PM
39

I think in the end women want to be with a man who is, above all, sexually arousing. The natural desire to please, satisfy and sacrifice for a man is rooted in how much a woman wants sleep with that man. For you, that was the NEET (who sounds like a classic sexy jerk). As for hypergamy, from the red pill perspective, the AF/BB theory best explains what's going on here.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/19 03:08 PM
45

I'd love to see some happiness studies from the past (like way before 1970) to compare to present day. Or happiness studies from countries that really limit feminism (like Saudi Arabia) or don't accept Western feminist ideals as much (like Russia). What are the self-reported levels of happiness there, if you control for other factors that contribute toward happiness, like financial security, marital status, etc. Anyway, my take is that in developed countries our expectations of happiness have si…
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/19 02:58 PM
10

I have a theory that a lot of successful, sexually charged heterosexual relationships quietly follow a red pill dynamic, even if the people in those relationships would be quite horrified to be called "red pilled." If your relationship is satisfying, I'm not sure you need to specify to your boyfriend exactly what makes it work on your end. (The exception, of course, is if disagreements over gender roles leads you two to different life goals--like you want to be a sahm/homemaker and he expects yo…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/19 08:39 PM
3

I suppose this is being downvoted because of the remark about pets, but the first part of the comment is astute.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/19 02:44 PM
5

Can you bring the kids' diet up at your next well child doctor's visit and come with your husband? I wouldn't frame it as as a "who's right?" issue, but a question about how to encourage kids to be less picky and eat more protein (and how much/what kind of protein).
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/19 11:19 PM
2

I drape my scarves infinity style...here's a nice little asmr scarf tying tutorial: https://youtu.be/R0hSDEW-Akw.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/19 01:50 AM
10

I was a bookish nerd in high school and college and dressed the part. After college, when I started working in an office, I got into wearing heels, nice dress pants, and dresses, stuff from Banana Republic, thanks to an employee discount. I had a lot of heels at that time--wedges, platforms, strappy sandals. My off-duty style was generic hipster. When I met my husband, he thought heels and the associated blisters were ridiculous, and I gradually phased heels out of my wardrobe, except at the off…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/19 10:35 PM
4

I think mgtow can be a healthy stage for a man to go through. Maybe not the online version of mgtow, but the core of it: following a personal mission without the distraction of women, sex, and romantic love. Long term mgtow... I don't know. No man is an island, and all that.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/19 05:52 PM
2

A minority of people will seriously think about their actions, long term consequences, virtue, truth, justice, all that good stuff. But most do and say virtuous things out of social convention and practicality. As for sex, even today, risky sex has some physical and emotional consequences, so there are practical reasons to avoid it, even when there's no social stigma.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/19 01:23 AM
25

I get and appreciate what this post is saying and it's good to inspire women to be great, but... People (men and women) are generally about as virtuous as they need to be. If women were more virtuous or noble in the past, it's because there were massive social consequences for not being virtuous. Today, there are no social consequences for not being virtuous, so women (in the eyes of red pill moralists) are not virtuous. If the scary patriarchy that feminists are always warning us about came bac…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/19 03:38 PM
4

I highly recommend Cooks Illustrated cookbooks--they explain why a recipe works and take you through the recipe development process. Their recipes are very thoroughly tested. What you really want to learn is not how to follow a recipe, but how to master basic cooking techniques--how to braise, make soups, make stir fries, cook meat, select ingredients that go together, etc. When you're comfortable with techniques, you don't need to rely on recipes as much, or at all. It takes some times to gain …
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/19 03:57 AM
6

I think that's a sensible approach to approach modern parenting (within reason--there's probably no perfect time to have kids if you really want them, so don't wait too long). That said, people have always considered the economic, tangible impact of kids. I wouldn't say it's purely selfish. In the not too distant past, children were expected to work or contribute to a household at a pretty early age, offsetting the expense of raising them. For the rich, kids were a way to pass down inheritance, …
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/19 05:04 PM
7

For me, motherhood is both extremely gratifying and also not all it's cracked up to be! For comparison, you could say that for men, working to support or protect their dependents (e.g. historically, going to war) can be extremely gratifying. But it can also be hard, frustrating, not all it's cracked up to be, not worth it.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/19 02:49 PM
3

You can't change her, but she may change as she gets older and wiser. Have you heard of Emma Sulkowitz, infamous feminist sjw, aka "mattress girl"? She's become sort of "redpilled," according to this interview with The Cut. So there's some hope, albeit not a ton. https://www.thecut.com/2019/10/did-emma-sulkowicz-mattress-performance-get-redpilled.html
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/19 02:01 AM
2

You know, this sub can really sway both ways. And "attracted to" vs "care about" are two very different things. Which one do you actually have in mind? Attracted to a job, as in physically attracted in a way a woman would be to a man's high-status career: Nope. Care about a job: Judging by the recent post where the woman was concerned that her boyfriend didn't want her to be a SAHM....oh, yes, men do seem think about what a woman can contribute to household finances.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/19 03:48 PM
5

My husband was awesome during all three of my labors/deliveries. (And to think, before I had kids I didn't like the idea of him seeing me in labor!) The memory that stands out the most is our second night in the hospital after I had my first child. I had a csection and couldn't really get out of bed, the baby was crying and having trouble nursing, my milk hadn't come in, no one was sleeping--it sucked and I cried. I remember telling my husband that I'm not cut out for this. He calmed me down and…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/19 03:02 PM
3

Also, I'll add: How old are you? How soon do you and your boyfriend plan to have kids? If it's within the next few years, then yes, all this should be top of mind. But if it's sometime in the distant future, is he just not up to dealing with these issues because your plans are up in the air? If you're talking about babies and daycare while he's thinking about career/travel/hobbies, etc.--that may point to the bigger problem.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/19 04:49 PM
3

How much do you love your boyfriend despite different opinions about working vs sahm? If you're in love with him, and there are no other red flags in the relationship, I'd advise caution before ending it. Unless you've spent a lot of time working with young children or grew up with young siblings, at this point kids and the sahm lifestyle are theoretical for you both. Consider that everything might change once you have kids. You might have a rough time being home all day with a baby (let alone m…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/19 04:25 PM
2

Your post caught my eye because I was once in a similar situation (great-on-paper boyfriend who became permanently unmotivated and unemployed after losing a plum job). You're in a really difficult situation with lackluster options: Proceed with a marriage despite some giant red flags (and I believe that red flags/problems rarely get better with marriage, they generally plateau or get worse with time) or face the single life at 32, knowing that what you really want is a husband and family. That s…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/19 04:02 PM
11

Met my husband on eharmony (hey, remember eharmony?) at 28. He also lived about an hour away, I wouldn't have met him without the internet. We took turns driving to see each other a few times a week until we moved in together. He was the first guy with whom I never felt lonely. Also the first guy who had a good time with me on a date to the local art museum, we liked similar things. I supposed we broke some RPW "rules" in the course of our relationship, but when there are no red flags or doubts …
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/19 07:22 PM
4

Rollo/Rational Male classic essays are excellent-- a lot of the RP concepts and terms used here either originate with or are best explained by Rollo. I owe the success of my marriage, especially in the early LTR stages, to what I learned reading the Rational Male. That said, I quit reading Rational Male a few years ago because the essays were getting repetitive and depressing, and the comments, beyond depressing. I also liked Athol Kay when he was blogging at Married Man Sex Life. I think he wro…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/19 03:58 AM
7

To me, a red pill woman is simply one who understands that men and women have different, and often conflicting, sexual strategies, probably rooted in biology, and knows how to best leverage those strategies to maximize happiness for herself and the man in her life. I feel this sub leans toward the traditional homemaker wife as the ideal red pill woman, which is a perfectly good thing to be, but not the only way to be a red pill woman. If you read 19th century French novels by Balzac or Collette,…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/19 04:06 PM
1

RP echo chamber boilerplate (admittedly with hints of truth in it). Dude, there are marriage material men who can still generate "tingles." I've been married to one for the better part of the decade.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 05:52 PM
9

That's why I question RP advice to women to "settle" for a man who holds no sexual appeal despite other virtues. Both the man and the woman will end up dissatisfied for reasons they'll have trouble explaining. Maybe in the past, when there was more sexual repression/reticence, people didn't feel like they were missing out. But I think it'd be really tough maintaining this kind of marriage/LTR today.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 02:41 AM
37

Don't get involved with a man you are not sexually attracted to in the early stages of dating, even if he seems great on paper. You can't will yourself to desire (and he can't negotiate it with you). A LTR/marriage without some spark of sexual attraction early on is a bad thing for all involved.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 02:14 PM
10

You make an interesting point--the not living together until marriage advice may be wise in theory, but it's similar to staying a virgin until marriage--very difficult to do in the Western, secular world. You will not find a lot of secular guys who'll take you up on that. I live in the Midwest (middle of the road conservative/moderate environment), and nearly everyone I know who's married lived together before marriage/engagement. The only exception I'm aware of is a conservative Jewish couple i…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 02:02 PM
3

First, congrats on your pregnancy! I work ('cause we can use the money and my benefits package), not because I'm into my "career," and I struggle with these emotions. I would suggest is waiting until you're fully immersed in motherhood (like, at least 3 months postpartum) before making big decisions about job vs sahm. The stuff you may be thinking and feeling post-baby can be unpredictable--you may love motherhood, or you may struggle with it. You may want a "break" from the baby, or you may nev…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/19 02:57 PM
4

Adrian in the Rocky movies, of course! My husband always brings her up (jokingly, we kid about it) as an example of a good wife when I give him the gimlet eye for taking part in a dangerous sport.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/19 01:55 PM
2

I'm a big fan of Toastmasters, an organization that helps you develop public speaking skills. There are clubs all over the world. Toastmasters helped me get over crippling shyness. It's a quirky organization, to be sure, but many clubs have a very informal, friendly feel, so it can be a good way for shy and quiet people to learn how to speak in front of groups.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/19 03:26 PM
3

The list of your "offenses" (minus the reckless driving, that's bad) is so odd--is something being left out? -Tracking baby care--Why? Did your pediatrician instruct you to do this? Is the baby medically fragile or having trouble gaining weight? New parent anxiety? Assuming the baby is healthy, why is all this tracking needed? -Same thing about the diapers. Do you live in a climate where a baby can dangerously overheat if dressed in clothing? If not, why doesn't he let you troubleshoot and figur…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/19 06:39 PM
3

A lot of these discussions about working women fall into a media-fueled "career porn" fantasy: that women who're working are aspiring to be self-actualized corporate boss babes like Sheryl Sandberg and Melissa Myer. If you have a huge career, csuite position, serve on boards, speak and travel....then, yes, some of Andelin's points might hold, especially if the husband or boyfriend is less ambitious or makes a lot less. But I bet a tiny minority of women have that kind of career. Most women work …
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/19 03:53 AM
1

This is a good comment. While RP folks are probably correct about the downsides of women entering the workforce, they gloss over what happened in the past when women couldn't enter the workforce outside the home in case of a husband's unexpected death, illness or job loss (note that vetting a man won't prevent these three disasters). If a woman wasn't wealthy, she faced a far less comfortable lifestyle for herself and her children....unless there was an option of a quick and practical remarriage…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/19 09:04 PM
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