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Tines0 Archive

View 0 posts and 420 comments by Tines0 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Don’t torture yourself. Think with the big brain less and the little brain between your legs more.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/25 08:55 PM
3

Realized that I was obsessed with sex' Reading: sex god method Working to apply what I’m learning in the sex god method. Might be a good idea to pick up a different book until you've sorted this out.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/25 04:55 AM
1

This matches my experience also.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/25 04:44 AM
1

It's simple numbers, they don't lie - make sure you don't lie to yourself. I struggled with calorie restriction until I worked out to just do it my own way, not what was popular or spruiked on the internet. Turns out I function better on two breakfasts and a really protein heavy late lunch with a healthy snack sized dinner and I can easily fit it into the calory targets. Everyone's different.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/25 04:38 AM
3

I just have so much love to give.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/25 04:39 AM
1

Opportunity to stay sharp and get out of my comfort zone. Went well overall and gave me confidence seeing that I could figure it out and perform at an appropriate level in a short timespan. Keep pushing into discomfort/fears and you'll be surprised how much your competence will grow along with your confidence. It's like a cheat code for life. If you can commit to continuously doing this while staying disciplined with diet, STFU and lifting - you'll be a different person in 12 months. I would bet…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/25 10:27 PM
1

What does successful sex mean? How do you know it was of interest to her? Is her interest levels your measurement for success? Your whole post reeks of low standards. “Small progress is better than no progress” is a fine statement if you’re killing it in all the other areas. Not when you’re overweight, consuming porn, making excuses about missing lifting sessions and measuring success on your perception of her enjoyment levels.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/25 06:35 AM
–

And no matter how much this place tries to help people realise this, some still struggle. It can’t be highlighted enough.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 07:18 AM
3

These are great notes. I especially like the lack of focus on your ex wife. How did your learning from MRP help you navigate this phase? Did it help shape the current outcome in a way that is different to what would have happened if you didn’t come across this place?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/25 10:35 PM
1

Yep. Great post. Very true for my experience also.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 02:27 AM
3

I could write at length about this but essentially it comes down to whether or not you need your wife's income to pursue your mission? As a former SAHD with a wife that earns a lot, I realised that I needed financial freedom to pursue the life I want. That freedom provides abundance, allows me to make choices and enforce boundaries.
/r/askMRP12/04/24 11:42 PM
1

This has been my experience as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/24 01:02 AM
2

Build up meaningful reference experiences from real world interactions, understanding your own value in the context of the world, is important. No deluding yourself and not participating in self congratulatory wank, is vital. This is the work and cannot be emphasised enough.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/24 12:00 AM
3

You have the right to change your mind
/r/askMRP08/03/24 10:38 PM
5

Here we go. Can’t wait for the field report of some guy injecting it into his wife’s burger patties.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/24 02:36 AM
2

That’s 2 more paragraphs of wasted effort on this. Contradictory statements made to justify your thoughts to me, a stranger on the internet. I can’t speak from experience here. I would suggest though that you assume the worst and leave it to Ambitious Buddy 2025 to sort out - if you do this right he will know how to handle it much better. In the meantime stop worrying about your wife and start living for yourself. You’ve got a good sparring partner in the meantime to practice on.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/24 11:52 PM
2

I am making progress by writing out the thoughts when they get into my head and then writing out actual events that contradict my irrational thoughts. Periodically I reread them and pray/meditate. It just takes time. This sounds like you’re putting a lot of time and effort into living in a world of irrational fear and misery. Why you would want to spend any amount of time in this state I’m unsure. You need to stop dwelling on your stupid thoughts and move on. Accept that she cheated and work out…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/24 10:45 PM
2

My downs have been having paranoia about infidelity, previous partners etc. it's stupid, emotional, and a waste of energy. The advice for this that I have seen here is to be more selfish when this stuff creeps in. I have value Tell me, what makes you valuable? completely adrift right now in finding my purpose Then start with what you want. Can you tell me what you want? Or, if you were magic, how would your life be?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/24 09:36 AM
8

Great. Now we’re going to have the Compounding Creampie Covert Contract phenomenon in here.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/24 08:49 AM
5

Glad to see you're being social and enjoying being a present father. I hope you've done your divorce prep and are using this situation (testing as you call it) to put yourself in a better position. I'm not a lawyer but try and get any crazy manipulative shit she's doing in writing somehow. but I would never accept that her anxiety/ocd/feelz get in the way of me and my daughters lives and that was non-negotiable. How are you going to enforce this boundary the next time? That’s understandable. Sur…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/24 09:51 AM
3

The more in touch I am with what I want and the less affected I am by others actually improves the the behaviors I appreciate from my family. Nice. The quantity of my time and quality my attention shared are the stick and carrot. Except you’re still thinking of this in the wrong way. What is the stick and carrot and to whom? I decided to flipped the script on my initiations for sex; no pre-made plans Blurring the lines between sex and intimacy. I pulled my attention back without completely disen…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/24 04:42 AM
3

I had a few more conflicts with my partner. There is no need for "conflicts" when you have frame. I realized I had returned to my covert contracts and made her needs a priority. I also talked way too much. Field report it. Hard to tell otherwise but usually its some form of making your wife your judge and/or validator. Daily would help my ADHD brain. It's amazing how many people all of a sudden find comfort in this diagnosis. It's no excuse, don't limit yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/24 10:30 AM
3

My Vday gift was more a calculated and gamified framework I had been thinking about for a while. Was there any element of a covert contract in your thinking here? Hint: Why was it tied into “Vday”? There's a nuance to being considerate of my circumstances If it quacks like a duck it’s still a duck. You can call it whatever you want but your just deluding yourself. to invest in a first officer that is struggling to keep up or just keep going forward indifferently. I am better fulfilled when I am …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/24 07:15 PM
3

gives me someone to compete against, which is what I need Why? Are you incapable of self motivation? You're limiting yourself. Any advice on this? https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/f05hs9/how_to_fuck_your_wifes_friends/ I haven't really put any thought into my relationship and it's been awesome Great. This is building frame and pursuing your vision. My wife has been way more suggestive and sexual towards me Funny that. "Do you love me for more than my body" This one and variations…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/24 10:14 AM
4

Reading your post feels like it is processed entirely through your wife's frame. The things you do that are working seem like tricks to get sex. The things you are concerned about revolve around how they may affect her. The things that aren't working are all about how you feel about your wife. It could just be the writing style, but often that itself gives people away.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/24 10:02 AM
2

Working more on STFU Work harder. STFU. complained that I don’t give clear verbal acknowledgement on whether I am hearing her when she talks to me https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3qm961/verbal_intercourse_is_optional/ STFU She accepts that I am doing a self-help regimen Glad you got permission from mummy. Now you have it STFU.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/24 03:38 AM
2

I am a bit confused with this because I will feel guilty when I withhold my attention. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/6wafgm/you_can_not_fear_her_emotions/ "When you change your behavior to avoid her emotions, she's controlling you." Get busy, build your life and lead. Prioritising myself felt very uncomfortable to me, you just have to push through that discomfort. Until you do, you won't know what it looks like on the other side. Re-read NMMNG.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/24 10:26 AM
2

I care in a sense that I want her to move towards the standard I have set in my mind. What does this standard look like? AND if her behaviour starts to meet that standard how do you think you would react?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/24 10:12 AM
3

At this stage what does your day to day interaction with your wife look like? To what degree do you care about her actions towards you?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/24 03:13 AM
3

Buy land out west, retire early, and spend my time hiking and skiing. Sounds like you know what you want. Focus on this. Read Psycho Cybernetics and use visualisation to really picture this, who you are when you're there and how the world looks for a day in your life at this place. Then just go and make that happen one action at a time. The path will slowly become more clear and you'll naturally "stop making decisions based on how I think other people will feel" as well as build that frame. It m…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 11:04 PM
3

I want to be congruent in what and how I communicate on multiple levels. Being brief and succient reduces my likelihood to DEER, If this method of conceptualisation helps you STFU, then good. it's handling feelings instead of problems This is the default way to deal with women. overusing sexualised remarks or seductive kino What is the problem in the way you have done it in the past? Be careful you don't become Mr SeriousMystic after reading TWOTSM, unless that's what you want. my wife has a pla…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 09:12 PM
4

Pook says change your mental model from “damn, she’s hot” to “she seems like she might be interesting”. Models is a good book for this. Though with your reading list I'd put several before it. “increase her enjoyment = she will want it more often” Been there. Terrible covert contract, especially when you work out that: focusing on yourself and your own enjoyment = she will want it more often. It doesn't work to just think in that order though. There's some good posts on this here, use the search…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 09:42 AM
2

That’s a good mission for OYS 2. You need to remember it and push through the fear with initiations. You can just go for whatever you want and embrace the rejection as a learning experience if it comes. If you’re taking clothes off and pushing through shit tests then she’s DTF - don’t overthink it.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 08:33 AM
3

I want to say less and communicate more. I want to collectively hone my body language, tone, cadence, emotions and intention to singularly convey my desires in as few words as is necessary. Why? And what actions are you taking to achieve this. Penetrating moods from a calm, centered, and positive perspective requires full-time application. Sounds like a lot of work. How does this look like to you in practice? my wife has her sisters' grief circle-jerk chat group lighting up her phone at all hour…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/24 04:50 AM
1

Sounds boring.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/24 11:01 AM
2

Good. Why did you deliberately avoid the issue of frequency?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/24 08:02 AM
2

I can understand guys who are having trouble working out why they feel the way they do talking so much about their feelings. I can’t understand why a man who is driven to tears by his shortcomings can also say at the same time that it’s hard to do the work to fix it. For me it would be much harder to live with myself if I didn’t. Everyone’s different though. I just hope you’re not using this group for some sort of therapy where you get your feelz from talking about what you’re going to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/24 08:06 PM
4

Nice. You might have an easy run as far as the wife is concerned. Be wary of dancing monkey success and walking away prematurely.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/24 10:09 AM
5

Your wife got wet over another man and she wasn’t attracted to you because you were a drunk captain. That’s why you cried. What would you say about a man that cares enough to cry about something but not enough to put the effort he knows is required into fixing it?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/24 10:06 AM
2

I did NOT take it well. What are you going to do next time this happens? At your stage here I'd have a backup plan for any failed initiation. Get out and use that anger on something productive. Don't sit around wallowing in it. viscerally envision how being your own mental point of origin or really putting myself first could feel. Then don't. Work on implementing one thing at a time and leave the lightbulb moment for later. I recommend STFU and managing feelz to start - Practical Female Psycholo…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/24 08:40 AM
2

Over the past few days I've been having victim pukes with her she's been sharing things with me that she's never shared before including some past sexual trauma that I never knew about. Holy shit, STFU. You have a woman here who has seemingly chosen to put her past trauma behind her and forget about it rather than play into the victim role that many do. I'm going to hazard a guess that you are dredging this shit up to satisfy your own ego. If she's broken it's not your fault you suck so much. I …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/24 05:36 AM
3

to suspend the rules What rules? behaviors are typically aimed at pulling her into my frame fear of triggering her strong negative emotions It sounds like you think that MRP is a punishment to your wife, when in fact it should be hugely beneficial for her, especially at the moment. A woman loves a strong frame in which to fall into when things are uncertain or emotional. Your frame should be a source of stability, escape and strength for her. Rather than thinking about how her mood should determ…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/24 07:41 AM
2

Read the sidebar. Especially the post on STFU, it is essential. I have no problem with it reading like a New Years resolution, It's easy to write a bunch of shit on a page. It's harder to actually do something. Do something.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/24 07:29 AM
3

I'm a bitch. I'm not comfortable mindset of mediocrity and complacency I was SCARED not a leader I'm not a man who just "gets it" and instead I'm this autist that needs everything spelled out for him. The language you use here says a lot. This internal negative self talk demonstrates what you think of yourself. Look into re-shaping this, I recommend the book Psycho Cybernetics at leas to highlight the importance of the way you talk to yourself. Also, you really need to work through NMMNG slowly …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/24 11:18 PM
2

Yep. Might be worth trying to ditch condoms too.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/24 10:56 PM
3

This sounds like a lot of altering your behaviour based on your wife’s feelings. Whose frame is that? Ask yourself why you apply non-judgemental comfort, light game and banter. These are great. Then ask yourself why you first examine how your wife is feeling before applying what you think is the appropriate technique. You are the container. How does attachment theory apply here?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/24 10:53 PM
3

This reads like a New Year’s resolution. At least you lifted. Did you STFU? Next week tell us about the things you’re applying and what results you’re getting. Keep lifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/24 10:44 PM
2

Your what I have done section is just you talking about your thoughts. The only section you talk about meaningful action you put 80% effort into. No wonder you have no abundance. Next week talk about the things you did and the results you got from doing those things. Not your thoughts and ruminations, they’re stupid.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/24 09:56 PM
9

I would guess that 90% of the guys in here pick up SGM before WISNIFG or NMMNG or start lifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/24 05:37 AM
1

Outside of physical looks, my SMV is considerably higher than hers, Physical looks are 90% of a girls SMV.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/24 09:51 AM
1

So long as you're doing what you want why not. Next week tell us what you actually did, not what you need to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/24 09:46 AM
1

Learn to whack a space in between paragraphs for next week. Reddit editing takes a bit to get used to.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/24 09:43 AM
1

Learn to whack a space in between paragraphs for next week. Reddit editing takes a bit to get used to.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/24 09:43 AM
1

the other half initiates communication. Game and engage with your wife first. I'm curious about this. What does it look like in practice for you? It sounds like a lot of work, but most of the time I do love my silence and half listening.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/24 09:42 AM
1

I can't explain how I did it, but I just make the feeling go away (it feels like I literally drop the feeling from my mind) I had a similar experience when I started evaluating my feelings rather than just letting them control me. By recognising where they came from and what was causing them it was a lot easier to let them go and identify what to work on. It looks like you've identified where your issues stem from. It's likely that just by lifting, some discipline, STFU and reading you'll work o…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/24 09:38 AM
2

I have listened to and followed Abraham Hicks for a long time I have no idea who that is but when you "follow" something for a long time and aren't getting the results you're after perhaps it's time to look for something else. Even if something makes sense to you and you like it, sometimes the way someone else lays it out can be useful for actually getting traction. We all work differently. I sometimes have moods Firstly, you should examine whether your overall trajectory is upward towards where…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/24 12:13 AM
2

This won't be me... for now. You swallowed the pill? Even if you decide to get married for some reason, there's no reason to be lifeless, unexcited and going through any motions. There's always another option.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/23 02:11 AM
1

This is a shitty response from your wife dude, I'm sorry. He's over 300lbs. Fix that before you worry about reactions to trying to create intimacy.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/23 02:09 AM
2

slapped her arse then went into comfort mode I like that you're prioritising the neediness and shame here but it is worth mentioning that you may be rewarding bad behaviour. You can illustrate a lack of butthurt through aloofness and going to be productive. Be careful responding to rejections with so much determination to be anti-butthurt you end up encouraging that behaviour through rewards such as cuddles. A good method is to have a fallback plan b, for example, you're going to the gym and dec…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/23 01:18 AM
1

It’s not that they don’t want to get together. They just don’t want to put in the effort to plan or coordinate. I am happy to put effort and energy in here. Will see how it goes. What time do you go to bed and why are you getting up so early if you’re having sleep problems? The sun is up here very early and the kids wake up by 5 each morning. We don't do daylight savings. I get to bed at 8:30 lately.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/23 01:11 AM
1

I had a small detail delivered to her per amazon (content unrelated to anything she mentioned) and she was giddy about it. Don’t reward bad behaviour. I'm noticing an internal expectation of sex for the day of my return growing. Curious to see how I'll react if it ends up not happening. Covert contract.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/23 08:50 PM
2

Another way you could look at it is not so much about what do you want to do but rather who do you want to be.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/23 08:56 AM
1

I look forward to your anger phase if you start getting your shit together.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/23 08:53 AM
3

I need to figure out what the fuck I want out of life. Probably best not to make any life altering decisions while you get this right. Patience is underrated. I'd recommend Psycho Cybernetics if you haven't read it yet.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 02:04 AM
1

At first I was trying to console her (thinking it was a comfort test) but later that night I started thinking about how I felt at the time and how I didn't get any support from her and wtf, it was 20 years ago. That's not how solipsism works. Stop thinking it's about the nail.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 01:59 AM
8

OYS 6’1 | 83kg | 36 | 2 Kids | M 10 Yrs Been a while. Things are trending nicely for me. Life isn’t problem free and there’s still a number of things to work on but I keep plugging away. Had some health issues. Still trying to get to the bottom of everything, though at this stage I think it’s either sleep related or just something that’s too complicated to pick up on given my history. I started tracking my sleep and usually get 0-10 minutes Deep Sleep per night (occasionally 30-40 mins), while R…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 01:47 AM
6

I feel like I’m back to the beginning. I’m angry again all the time. You are. All this has been a dancing monkey program. You need to STFU. Stop negotiating. Please stop with the ultimatums. Ban yourself from talking about the relationship. I would recommend a new mental model of going about things like she isn’t in your life anymore. Seperate yourself mentally. Be selfish. Read MMSLP and maybe practical female psychology. Go back to the basics of NMMNG and WISNIFG. You needing her to be present…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 11:05 AM
4

Why are you buggering around with covert contracts calendars while you can’t get your habits under control? Your “why am I here” section is basically a guide to DLV, yet you do nothing about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 10:52 AM
2

Sounds like you’re not living the life you want and you’re doing it for your wife. What frame was that you thought you had?
/r/askMRP02/12/23 12:56 PM
2

Ultimately I like to take responsibility for everything that matters to me. That doesn't mean that I do it myself but I do make sure it gets done. Most of the time I just do the shit that matters to me on my terms to my standard, sometimes I pay someone else to do them and sometimes I recruit my wife and delegate responsibility. If she isn't up to the task, that's not her fault, it's mine for trusting her with something she isn't capable of or not providing the guidance/resources needed to do it…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/23 02:44 AM
1

I said I was going to go Asks if I'm coming home early. I responded, "I don't know I don't know what happened 3 weeks ago but that's not leadership or boundary enforcement. This sort of shit is probably provoking a lot of anxiety in your wife. You could probably do with reading some J10 posts and stuff on leadership, the oak, captain first officer etc. Found reports. however, as I improve, the marriage decay's So its your wife's fault. How exactly have you improved? My head is so full of shit fr…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/23 12:05 AM
5

This is probably the real key. Criticism builds resentment. Chicks hate it because it infers they're responsible and failed.Practical Female Psychology and MMSLP are good reads for this. Lead, delegate and praise.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/23 11:52 PM
2

Adult ADHD is the new buzz condition in psychiatry. Drug companies making a fortune. Some psychiatrists just treat their patients like customers and dole it out to make money and move on. Most people come into mental health assessments with their own diagnosis nowdays anyway and if you don’t agree they go elsewhere or argue and take up time. Funnily I haven’t found a single psychiatrist who has a family member or friend with adult ADHD diagnosis. 3 years ago it wasn’t a thing. The next one will …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/23 01:40 AM
1

Bingo
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/23 01:34 AM
1

I don’t let people I don’t know stay in my house with my kids. Especially men. More especially men from a 3rd world culture.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/23 01:32 AM
2

Obsession would be the one word answer in a partner or a plate that I'm looking for. You want a woman to be obsessed with you? Why?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/23 12:19 AM
1

Fit is everything. If you can’t get tailored, I recommend https://propercloth.com especially if you’re in or visiting NY and can get measured. Or get one tailored shirt elsewhere and use the measurements to create a profile.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/23 10:21 PM
12

Good Post. Do you move quickly and nervously or confidently and intentionally. I'm glad you put this in there. You know how all the best sportsmen even at the highest level look like they have more time than anyone else, it's as though they're playing the game in slow motion. The same goes for most things in life. If you speak fast it portrays a lack of confidence in what you're saying, as though you're rushing to get it in to be heard. If you walk around fast it looks as though you're nervous, …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/23 11:13 PM
2

First I have to understand why she did what she did. Because of you. Plenty of advice in the sidebar and by using the search function. Getting another women will just end up the same if I dont understand what I did to fuck it up. Yep. OYS is a good place to start. Second, how do I be smart about it? Read the divorce advice section on the sidebar. Don't act out of anger, don't go Rambo. Workout what you want, make a plan and execute. Plenty of examples of guys getting it right and wrong on here.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 11:24 PM
2

I would recommend making it a win-win. Either you get to fuck her exactly the way you want and imagine. OR You get to train outcome independence, sexual leadership and not settling for anything other than what you want. You can even frame it with some model of rejections allowing you to save energy for something else productive by not fucking. Just make sure you actually know what you want.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 08:26 PM
2

She chose him over you. She would still do the same and has even said so. She has so little respect for you she is not even trying to hide it. Kill the puppy and move on, just be smart about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 08:19 PM
1

Cheers. Have a link to the band stuff?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 08:12 PM
1

The push-ups and pull ups in your spare time on top of lifting program.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 04:10 AM
1

Been meaning to ask how you found the "greasing the groove" stuff you were doing. Did it bring about any results or just wear your joints out?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 01:36 AM
2

I find it difficult to see that version of me clearly. Start being a bit disciplined and you might. As long as you sit on the couch prioritising your video games and TikTok videos over the gym you'll never see yourself as "dominant". Your feelings and thoughts are stupid. STFU and lift.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 01:29 AM
2

Almost immediately I was asked to come back. So I did and we fucked. It was pretty average You hesitated and then got pulled into her frame. One thing that helped me for a while was being strict on following through with my decisions. I realised my wife was testing me by seeing how resolute I was in my decision making. I wouldn't let my wife change my plans once I had made a decision, even if she tried to lure me with some sort of reward. I needed to change that feedback loop/dynamic. Part of th…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 01:26 AM
2

Rumors of layoffs on the horizon. it's out of my control what happens What is in your control? Might be time to make some decisions and put yourself out there to find another job. Wife still in hospital. Proud of this. Great. This is an amazing opportunity to actually run with the often used mindset of what would I do if my wife were dead. I did fuck up twice and ended up flooding/victim puking bad. WISNIFG might be worth another read. Your anger here is just a reaction to your inability to be a…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 01:17 AM
5

At 5'7 with those numbers you need to lift. Travel is no excuse.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/23 01:04 AM
1

Obviously not well. Hope you've got a copy of WISNIFG for this week.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/23 01:46 AM
1

This shit is the easiest to get right and makes a huge difference. Even a fat guy can get girls tingles if he's well groomed, looks clean and presentable and has an attractive frame. One thing I will say is make sure your hair isn't greasy looking. I have a great head of hair and get complimented all the time. I've had several discussions with good looking chicks about what a turn off greasy hair is. YMMV depending on ethnicity though.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/23 01:44 AM
1

To do this week: Just do week 3 of the training cycle and stay on the diet plan. This is fine. Seems like you've been lifting prior to MRP. To Do This week: pray for help. Talk to my therapist about it. Passive. Relying on other people/your god. To do this week: read books. STFU. This is the worst part. The books you're reading aren't MRP material and are probably actually the opposite. You're applying shit that is working against you. STFU is good though. To Do For this week: Audit expenses as …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/23 07:17 PM
1

to take Right there. 7 hers 5 she’s 8 my wife
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/23 03:40 AM
1

Maybe if you read some of the actual sidebar material you wouldn’t be just talking about your wife and might be talking about some actions you’re taking. Probably not though, keep looking for the cheat codes elsewhere.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/23 12:52 AM
3

Well no one can say you didn’t give yourself time. Good luck with it all mate. Don’t come back in 6 months with stories of some single mum giving you grief.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/23 12:48 AM
1

Sounds like you need to do more. Push yourself into doing something really uncomfortable that offers some opportunity to grow. The more you push your fears, the more your boundaries expand.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/23 11:00 PM
1

It's an often mentioned phenomenon. I did a quick search and found a good description: Corollary 1: Watch what they DO, not what they SAY. The men of the manosphere are in overwhelming agreement that you are a fool if you believe what a women tells you without verifying it by observing her behavior. This is especially true about anything related to sex. Women are mostly unaware of their sexual attraction cues and will at a minimum mislead you about this verbally. If you observe behavior this wil…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/23 10:51 PM
1

I am accused of being selfish and not thinking about her as not caring for her She's probably not attracted to you. You care far too much about what she says. Watch what she does instead. The rest is just shit testing. Sidebar.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/23 05:53 AM
1

I tried being subtle about it, making myself available to watch the kids if needed but not being decisive about it Failure of leadership. If she fails to use the time, I'm done and won't put anymore effort into it. Covert Contract. I have the kids for the next two hours, go exercise/do your hobby/whatever I do this all the time because I want to do it. It's great. I plan something fun and go do it. Keep the phone away and engage with the kids, usually in nature. I let the wife know that she can …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/23 12:25 AM
1

he can change her mood anytime and say anything anytime and expect me to oblige and not feel bad. Stop wasting time with other books and get through WISNIFG and then NMMNG. Read Chapter 9 WISNIFG now and then re-read it when you get back to it. Caveman is the way to success What did success look like? You need to sort out your diet with a clear plan and execute it.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/23 12:11 AM
2

I know nothing is going to change Not by opening your mouth and discussing things.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 11:36 PM
1

a future filled with remorse over missed opportunities due to my reluctance to pursue them. Why are you missing opportunities? What is that reluctance?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 11:35 PM
2

Are you actually leading here? Unless you know exactly what you want and you're after how is she supposed to work it out? Once you realise what you want and what you're after it's on you to train her. Or not. I imagine it's easier to train a new girl. I have been utilising an improvement loop with my wife where I push things towards what I want sexually by praising the effort that I'm after or walking away without butthurt when the effort is lacking. It is only possible because I am attractive, …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 11:23 PM
3

I want to be the beast I worship. What does this mean? It was a pathetic display in a lack of control If you stay disciplined and controlled with lifting and diet you are likely to find it seep out into other areas of your life. Eventually through this process you'll find FRAME. I owned my fuck up there and then by apologising to both my wife and kid and said I was wrong for acting like that. This is well handled and what's important in the meantime. And STFU obviously. Your goals should include…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 11:14 PM
2

The reason I didn’t have an answer is that I failed to invest in my lived experiences I had the same realisation not too long ago. I was focused on my attachments and not on my experiences. It was actually an old article on being a man which does that helped me work this out along with some prodding from RPeed and Ragnar. I wrote down a list of the things I could do in a day that would make me happy and fulfilled. Since then, every day I have been fortunate enough to be able to do most of that s…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/23 11:06 PM
2

Most of the time it's 15 minutes after the conversation that I realize fogging would have helped. Nothing wrong with STFU in this time and letting the mood wash over her. Way better than DEERing or trying to communicate.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 01:56 AM
2

I will probably post a FR about this soon. A few months back I started implementing a sexual improvement loop based on Sepean's posts. The first night I zipped up and didn't cum she lost the plot. Instant anxiety, comfort tests and 24 hours of looking for validation. When I finally gave it to her the session was mind blowing. Haven't looked back since. At the start of all this I was a slave to getting my dick wet, now the role is reversed.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 01:51 AM
4

Don’t worry about being alpha, can you be attractive?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/23 12:35 AM
1

That last sentence is key. Managing her feelz is exactly what she needs and doing that for her on your terms is a gift.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/23 07:49 PM
1

WISNIFG. NMMNG was an eye opener too. It could be that you needed to work on your sex game but most guys who come in here generally need to focus on some other areas. I have noticed how many fat nice guys come in prioritising TSGM.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/23 07:52 PM
3

Once you get older and especially nowdays it’s hard to make friends everywhere. I made a similar statement in an OYS and RPeed pointed out that I was most likely projecting my judgement onto those around me. I resisted at first but realised on examination that the way I was approaching the world had changed and I needed to drop the judgement. This all hit me pretty hard when I realised who I had become. I stopped projecting judgement. I have taken this further to being more kind and giving my lo…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/23 04:30 AM
1

Funny how so many new guys go to TSGM first.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/23 04:24 AM
3

lot of subtle jabs and darts These may not be "challenges" to your frame, rather, checking to see if you have one. every conversation we have has some shit in it. I noticed this too. I turned it into a game for my own amusement and it became quite fun.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 04:09 AM
1

Your reading is two posts, which should take 10 minutes of your time. One of these posts most certainly doesn't apply to you where you're at yet. What have you read?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 04:04 AM
2

So very true. Been a lot of "fucking the bitchiness out of her" going on for me lately. I've never had her initiate so often or heard her vocalise how much she enjoys sex. Once you flip that switch the world opens up.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 04:01 AM
1

Let's see if you report on any actual actions you took next week.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/10/23 03:56 AM
3

The fact is that whenever I am with international people, I become a better, funnier, cooler, more relaxed version of myself. Why is this? Especially focus on the relaxed part. I discovered a covert contract along the way: Nice work catching it and adjusting. Predictable results.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/23 09:47 AM
2

Should you actively attempt to provoke shit tests Frame isn't about defeating your wife. edit: Make sure you're doing stuff for yourself for now and to the standards you set for yourself and it will come.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/23 09:42 AM
5

That's a nice Purpose, one of the better ones I've seen. Have you read Models? Seems like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself with gaming women. You've got to work out how to be the prize mentally, not just verbally.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/23 09:37 AM
1

WISNIFG-type assertiveness The best bits of this book for me were in the chapter regarding responding to criticism. STFU should be the default when you can't control your own emotions or are unable to detect testing and see it for what it is. WISNIFG should be applied when there's a need to be assertive and you aren't buying into her frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/23 12:14 AM
1

Don't get in her head. Check to make sure you're not in the "good lover validation" category. It's interesting that you're reluctant to fuck her even when you feel like it because you're worried about her moods. Why is that?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/23 12:10 AM
2

A lot of bitchy behaviour gets solved by a good fucking. When you both realise and accept this you’ll be a lot better off. Let her have her anxiety then provide comfort in a good session. Good times.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/23 04:47 AM
1

My wife asks if I hate her. I ended up telling her I didn't feel like a priority to her, that she didn't trust me or respect me. Maybe your wife’s question should be telling you something. What behaviours (other than the victim puke) exhibited your butthurt to make her ask this question? Why do you want her to prioritise, trust and respect you? Are you worthy of her prioritising you, trusting and respecting you? How would that look like if it did happen? how to encourage her to keep going Praise…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/23 04:41 AM
1

That was a big dear diary. Next week tell us what you did during this week. Make sure that involves lifting, STFU and reading, which there is nothing about here.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/23 04:27 AM
1

Sepean is a great example to read from. When I find a good post by a user with a field report or explanation of what has worked for them I have found that by going through their history I can see clearer how they arrived at that point and assess whether the initial theory post is useful and why. From this I have gone down some rabbit holes with certain users picking up nuances of certain elements. Equally I have seen some users with a great theory end up spinning their wheels as mentioned and di…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/23 03:39 AM
1

There are some users in MRP who have been able to get so good at certain elements that it has provided them with tremendous results and they continually focus on these areas as an answer to a lot of problems, as it was for them. There can be a lot of value in further examination of these users approach to gain perspective. Of course the key is to realise that this is a simplification and that someone else's approach will not be congruent with your own. Always ask yourself what you're trying to t…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/23 02:27 AM
3

I didn't ask the question but I found your answers interesting. I want to pass down a legacy to my child(ren) Legacy is a very interesting choice of words, especially when associated solely with money. Does it matter if your children squander the money you leave them? looking for Genuine Desire What if it doesn't exist and you spent your life chasing after it? who can challenge me to be better I've never been unhappy when my dick is inside of a woman. I don't want to shit all over your answers b…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/23 02:15 AM
1

You could probably benefit from reading up on some stoic philosophy and practices. Can really help deal with health related issues. I'm not the same guy I was before I went through everything I did, I'm better. It would have been very easy for me to identify as a victim, feel sorry for myself and become much, much worse.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/23 10:36 PM
2

I think I had a similar experience to the OP but I don't wish to talk for him. When I started at my core I was very happy with my wife, loved her, appreciated what she had done for me and realised how much of a fuckup I had been. From those emotions it was very hard to implement MRP; OI, develop frame, etc without tapping into some anger, which on reflection was mostly manufactured to allow me to grasp these concepts and prioritise myself to reach of a point of "self validation". For me it allow…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/23 03:09 AM
1

Reed's post from a recent OYS pretty much summed up where I'm at with MRP: All women want to be fucked hard by someone better than them. A lot of Beta Comfort stuff is basically just showing that you're at best their equal.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/10/23 01:23 AM
1

Learn to love the stir fry. Get those frozen vegetable packets if you are time poor and buy a bunch of proteins. Learn a few stir fry sauces or buy them: Chinese, Thai, Malaysian, Indonesian, Vietnamese, Korean. Sardines / Ground Meat / Thinly Cut Meat / Prawns + Veggies + Stir Fry Sauce + Small Serving Rice/Noodles depending on how fat you are. Takes 10 minutes, can do portions ahead of time. Make sure your pan is hot. I have learned to love cottage cheese, but I whack Vegemite in that shit and…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/23 11:05 PM
1

I think I have processed a lot of this but am still interested in your take.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/23 10:55 PM
2

All women want to be fucked hard by someone better than them So true. You're on fire lately. Be the man that does that and you're ahead of 95% of the rest of the field.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/23 10:52 PM
2

notice the useless bag of rocks I'm carrying around on my back and drop it. This is a great realisation. Now you've realised that it was holding you back, have you dropped it properly. If I was to ask you who you are, would that bag of rocks factor into your thoughts? what the fuck I want, just sitting with it while I re-evaluate This is probably a good thing, being able to sit in that discomfort and work out a path forward. This is a good OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/23 10:47 PM
3

This OYS and the comments are a perfect example of effort -> results. You only get out what you put in.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/23 05:18 AM
1

I don’t know. What are you seeing?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/23 07:58 PM
1

I can only speak from and try to explain my experience. When I changed my intention and began initiating only when I felt raw desire to fuck it was a game changer for me. For months my wife and I had been playing a game of shooting down my initiation and then coming to me later and initiating herself. When I had the realisation mentioned in the post, the game stopped, my initiations were no longer shot down and the sex was much better. It worked for me. Would definitely recommend for someone goi…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/23 07:52 PM
1

About taking ownership and responsibility for yourself, your wants, your needs in an outcome independent manner. Yes. If you don't want to fuck then you need to ask yourself what are you trying to achieve by trying to fuck. If you do want to fuck and you're avoiding initiating, then you need to ask yourself what you're afraid of and why.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/23 01:46 AM
1

I am certainly frustrated. When I look at it though I have used this time to set things up in a way that has pretty much guaranteed profitability from February next year. There's not really any further actions that I need to take to get where I will end up. Realising I can "be productive" doing whatever I want to make me happy in the meantime has dealt with my discontent. I've been here before though and perhaps that's what I'm looking to get out of OYS, a check to see if there's holes I am not …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/23 12:24 AM
2

Firstly I want to be clear that I agree that for the OP, avoiding initiations is the wrong tool to solve the problem he is facing. getting faggoty on rejection. For those playing along at home though, there's a whole host of tools on this subreddit to address a whole bunch of problems that people encounter. Before someone goes rubbing their wife’s butthole with their fat digits while angrily thinking about what a bitch she is for rejecting them, they should consider what their real problems are.…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/23 08:44 PM
2

I will remind you. Have been thinking about it and there’s a lot of things going on. It could be applied to me in a number of ways, which is probably the value of working out what it means to me. I think I’m putting energy into searching for solutions that don’t address a real problem, but rather one I have created for myself instead of finding equilibrium with my current circumstances.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/23 08:55 AM
1

if I tried to push a bit more. What's stopping you?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/23 12:42 AM
1

overwhelmed with all of the things I need to improve on Make sure you STFU while you do this and keep lifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/23 12:40 AM
2

overwhelmed with all of the things I need to improve on Make sure you STFU while you do this and keep lifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/23 12:40 AM
1

If this is the model you have created you need to create a new one. I would start with answering honestly: why is your wife rejecting your initiations? and then why do you care?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/23 07:11 AM
1

Authentic desire is wanting to have sex. Sometimes wanting to have sex is seeking validation. There's a big difference IMO. you initiated because you wanted sex. Sometimes I personally initiated because I wanted to feel desired or attractive, sometimes for an indication of my "progress". But you don’t fix it by avoiding rejection. Agreed. Different goals for different problems.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/23 07:07 AM
3

You’re going to have to deal with getting upset and your faggoty reaction before your initiations are going to get anywhere anyway. I would suggest initiating hard and often knowing your after the validation and going to get rejected. It’s an opportunity to practice demonstrating outcome independence. Make it a win win. Work on your validation needs separately - really drill down into them to understand them and where they come from. Check what your focusing on during the sex and interaction sur…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/23 06:10 AM
2

This is excellent. I do see the 'make sure you're fucking roaring to go' as a cope. My 2c worth. I had a lot more success with initiations when I was roaring to go. I do think this strategy is applicable to those who need to work out the difference between validation seeking and "authentic" desire. Equally, I think initiating often in the face of rejection may be good for those who need to workout their outcome independence. The question I think worth asking is, why is someone thirsty?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/23 01:42 AM
1

Always ask who is trying to gain whose approval. Girls are experts at sniffing out neediness, the hot ones can care more about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/23 01:36 AM
1

“Fake work” Yep, that's how it feels and its dragged on 8 months longer than it was meant to. cause a loss of perspective How did this manifest for you?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/23 08:22 PM
2

I'm not sure I get this one. Is it saying that no matter what a man will find a way to fill his time with a sense of purpose even if it is not the most effective way of doing things?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/23 08:20 PM
1

I haven't posted stats or lifts in a while. Lifting 2 days per week with 1 bodyweight/machine day at the moment and 1 day cardio grind with accessories. Plan to get back to GSLP when I can do upper body properly. 35YO Married 9Y 2 Kids| 6'1 81kg | Not sure of BF but pretty ripped - chest is lagging at the moment. Recent lifts (3x8): 105kg Back Squat, 135kg Deadlift (1x10), 40kg Bench @ 3/4 range of motion, No OHP, 73kg BO Row. Reading: Lots. Currently: Crucial Conversations. Recently finished Mo…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/23 08:18 PM
2

OYS Shoulder continues to improve. Had a bit of pain last week after overdoing it but I just need to be patient and ride that fine line between strengthening and damaging. Added some pushing movements. Hip and ITB have been playing up now, mostly at the bottom of the back squat and when running. Stretching it out and adding some Bulgarian Split Squats to help balance both sides out (hopefully). Most of my routine is basically physio recommended exercises along with whatever strength stuff I am a…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/23 11:02 AM
2

I struggled with praise for a while, almost acting like a retarded dog trainer "that's a good girl." I now mostly give praise in two ways. If she puts in effort and does something that makes me feel good I let her know. For example I've recently been training my wife on better blowjobs, after she followed some instructions the next day I texted her "that blowjob you gave last night was amazing". I'm letting her know that what she did makes me feel good. Always focused on how it delighted me - I …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/23 08:45 PM
1

The most common and (when you recognise it) easiest shit test is the one where they try to get you to change your plans. Even if you fuck up, so long as you're not putting anyone in danger just stick with your guns. Have a frame of you know best and you can make anything fun.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/23 09:55 AM
2

It's fine to enjoy the validation. Just be aware of seeking it out and reacting to it. Really examine yourself to figure out if you need the validation.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/23 09:49 AM
1

You probably reeked of neediness or looked awkward walking funny. Re: Anger. You need to work through it. It's great fuel as you break free but you're going to need to get through it eventually. I would recommend doing some mission stuff and start thinking about who you are, what you value and what you want. Then go and get it. Don't waste another 14 years rationalising and making excuses buying into the crap society is selling you. Your wife might respect seeing the man she married go after it …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/23 09:48 AM
2

This is fantastic, thanks. Should be a post if you have the time. When someone told me to keep pushing after I “found my frame” I suspect this is what they meant.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/23 09:39 AM
1

I think I have moved from Communication Preference #2 – Open & Honest Communication (Expressive Emotional) to something more like Communication Preference #1 – Overt Communication (Direct Physical) in order to get my needs met. Allowing my wife to interpret too much just wasn't working and that's fine so long as my needs are met. I am interested in what you outlined Communication Preference #3 – Hybrid Cerebral (Direct Physical and Expressive Emotional). Makes sense with a few things, will consi…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/23 08:18 AM
1

I thought it was in regards to people being defensive on MRP. A bit off. You don’t wave your gun at people telling them what to do. Agreed, but I believe there's some value in establishing expectations based on your values, people can do as they please with that information. announcing to people you’re now going to be selfish Of course, the only reason someone would do that is for seeking attention or validation. You wait (Indifferently!), and ideally DHV, until people lower theirs (Inception) a…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/23 08:09 AM
1

Indifference and Control. Interesting. I suppose this is what I was getting at. When I am indifferent instead of looking for direction, the wife's hamster can automatically go to "he's going to leave me" (I assume) "because I am not good." On the other hand my wife is hypervigilant about being controlled. I was aware of this, but had rationalised it as a behaviour I couldn't overcome and even convinced myself it was something I shouldn't want to overcome because it shouldn't matter to me. There'…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/23 12:17 AM
1

You are soooo close here. Why do you think it's important to DEER this instead of simply demonstrating it? I was trying to lead with actions alone and in some areas was getting nowhere. I had made a decision to only communicate on hard boundaries that I was prepared to enforce by ending the relationship or in the case of friends just to write them off without communicating at all. Perhaps this was an autistic interpretation of acta non verba. I realised that there is space to make expectations k…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/23 11:53 PM
1

until you have frame I was still using STFU as a default, autistically following acta non verba and expecting my wife to just figure it out. You are right. how to communicate without words Will revisit this. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/23 11:33 PM
1

likely rooted in basics you simply didn't grasp as you say here Perhaps. It's still applying MRP principles, just in a different way. Perhaps that was the "ideal" way to begin with and I just had my interpretation of it off. It's all calibration, and you likely just sucked at it. Definitely. But for curiosity, how was your approach "different"? I got a lot out of reading u/Sepean's posts and history. A lot of things resonated with me and made sense based on the background. I had been ignoring al…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/23 08:51 PM
4

OYS Shoulder rehab going well. Told this morning to start adding pushing exercises slowly. Be nice to mix up the “rows, curls and legs” workouts I’ve been doing. Hopefully get back to 3 days lifting + 1 day cardio + yoga workout schedule. Plan to eat more when I can do a full program to bulk harder and maintain energy levels. Went for a few surfs, felt great to be in the water again. The weather is beautiful here at the moment and the surf has been good. Really cleared my mind getting out in nat…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/08/23 10:55 AM
1

So your actions are guided by the values of a woman who has shown she doesn't have the integrity or self control to keep herself out of situations where an emotional affair is allowed to develop?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/23 10:53 AM
3

I just stumbled across this post, the following quote is relevant here: Women know themselves to be emotional impulsive and a danger to themselves. They know that without a man holding them accountable they are capable of anything from binging uncontrollably like a wild dog to giving themselves a Britney Spears haircut. The problem is that a Beta Turd can't tell a woman no. Like a child he is powerless to stop a woman from doing anything that she wants because he needs her approval to function. …
/r/askMRP21/08/23 01:22 AM
1

I have been reflecting on your comments regarding Judgement and Denigration. I think you may be onto something. I'm a critical fucker. Can you explain how you reflected on this yourself (and then practiced it) or perhaps have a link to a post that was insightful?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/23 01:02 AM
1

In my experience comfort is only beneficial when it comes from strength.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/23 01:09 PM
4

This is a great post. It demonstrates so much of MRP - frame - not adhering to societal expectations - being your own judge - shitty behaviours of “nice guys”
/r/askMRP19/08/23 03:42 AM
3

I got a lot out of it, changed my life much for the better. I could fill a book. The biggest thing I realised is that I had been living a comfortable life focused on fun and good times because I didn't want to face my fears and overcome them to fulfil my potential. I'm part of a Facebook group of members who have had the same rare cancer I got. Most of the people there play the victim, focus on how shit their lives are and wish this never happened to them. There's a few though who are just grate…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/23 02:55 AM
2

Similar to you I prioritised adventure, comfort and hedonism above building a meaningful career or life. It took me almost dying at 33 to realise this. There's no point in ruminating about the past, whatever you've done as brought you to this point. You're 30 and have found the keys to building a better life, far better than the masses of men who work a job they hate to please a wife they resent and buy shit that they don't need. Figure out what you're capable of and go after it. Or don't and be…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/23 01:36 AM
2

That’s just about the weakest answer you could have given. I didn’t ask what your son and wife were capable of. It doesn’t matter anyway you’re looking for excuses. If you don’t find them your mind will invent them because your weak.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 06:53 PM
1

This is a mess. When I see the guys who can't cut out basic things like eating too much or drinking I don't hold much hope for them. Get your shit together. Get disciplined. What are you capable of? Do you really want to get there? This is mostly about your wife. Concentrate on losing the fat. And STFU. A lot of fighting this week Just STFU.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 06:52 AM
3

being amused Great mental approach to have. I finished WISNIFG I reccomend TWOTSM next considering you're doing all the mission stuff. This is not cool to me and I need to figure out how to settle this down. Just lead. Don't worry about what she is doing. It is a start, but also I can see the dancing monkey routine at play. You handled this well for where you are at. If you keep working on this you'll continue to improve. Remember to push into the discomfort, she will test you but she wants you …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/23 06:47 AM
1

I can't get out of it so I can change her mood You need to read the other 80% of WISNIFG. Chapter 9 IIRC is the most applicable. Learn to enjoy the moods and see them for what they are - picture the hamster if it helps. That said, reflect on the information you got here on your own terms. Don't be boring, it will be the death of attraction. I have PE problem There's a bunch of things you can try to overcome this. Check here and there's some stuff on reddit - but the forum linked there has a big …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/23 09:17 AM
3

so I didn’t really initiate anyway Did you want to fuck? If you want to fuck, like really want to fuck, not just for validation, initiate. Either you get what you want or to practice handling rejection. still is. You need to make the mental realisation here that winning an argument against the oldest kid in the house means nothing.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/23 01:05 AM
10

It’s not time for attaboys. It serves no one. He’s fat, addicted to porn, coasting in his career and seeking the validation you just gave him from everyone. Lots of work ahead.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/23 10:02 PM
2

Nails – This has been the biggest improvement in my life the past few weeiks That says a lot. What are you capable of?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/23 09:25 PM
2

Just be honest, succinct and direct. Only works if he's not looking for validation or the sweet hit of accomplishment for saying he is doing something. "Gaming is harmful to me, I'm not doing that to myself anymore so I have packed them away." Shrug and move on with your day. It isn't some "sacrifice" for her.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/08/23 12:07 AM
1

Do you respect yourself? How completely? As I mentioned in the OYS "Until I achieve some professional success I don’t think I can fully respect myself." What are you chomping at the bit to do or accomplish that has nothing to do with your relationship or sex? What skills are you developing? What challenges are you pursuing? This is what I identified in the OYS. A lack of other pursuits and a failure to push into discomfort to develop my skills. ​ I had a surf and came to some realisations (thank…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/23 10:34 PM
1

So this post is about all the problems your wife has and justifying your shitty behaviour to avert responsibility. 10 months ago and no details of lifts. You're prepping for the next divorce, you just don't realise it.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/23 07:46 AM
1

OYS I wasn’t going to write an OYS this week. I had no intention of writing one again until I realised how much I am still failing myself. My wife came back from the gym this morning while I was getting the kids ready and pulled me away for a quicky in the bedroom. After I dropped the kids off she joined me to go to the local coffee shop and we both worked together. Then we came back home and she cooked me an awesome brunch. Sex is frequent and enthusiastic, our relationship is calm. Pretty idea…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/23 08:36 AM
1

Her behavior is better but I'm not doing enough o create a connection. For you or for her? What does connection look like and how does it benefit you? Deleted the app. This is good awareness and a good strong response. I'm increasingly viewing her as a failing employee or a bad investment. Time for some leadership. You need to show her how you expect your wife to add value to your life with OI, its either her or the next chick who will be younger, hotter and earning her keep. I was weak. It soun…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/23 07:50 AM
1

I practiced the art of STFU I stopped and avoided an argument. Great. That's exactly what you should be doing for quite a while. I may need to start tracking calories. No reason not to at 19-20% BF, especially if your getting fatigue.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/23 07:44 AM
1

"fuck this" and went to go surf. Going forward I'm going to lean into this direction of commands. Nice.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/23 07:39 AM
1

Yes. Always wanting to help then disgusted to find out your human or stressed to find the problems affect them. I’m usually just honest “somethings annoying me but I am dealing with it.” Turning that into “somethings annoying me, I can handle it myself but a blowjob would really help” seems like a better approach.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/23 07:12 AM
2

‘throwing out the scoreboard’ That's not what I am talking about here. It's the understanding that a woman's shit tests are driven by irrational emotion and aren't logical. The hamster is entertaining, their expression of it is beautiful. ‘what do I actually want right now?’ Do this constantly. If I don’t respect myself why bother with any of the rest of this shit? Guess what happens when you respect yourself? Your need for external validation goes away. You're no longer concerned about others (…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/23 03:47 AM
1

“I can support myself but I can’t suck my own dick” I like this. Going to use it when I'm trying to sort something out and she gets worked up about me not wanting to discuss it with her. Give her something productive to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/23 12:50 AM
1

to not be losing It's not a competition. When you can appreciate the challenge and be amused by the hamster it all becomes a lot easier, less confrontational and even if you do fail the test - its not a big deal because you see it for what it is. getting comfortable without validation. I get a chance to work on it How exactly? What work are you putting in here and to what end? I have any alcohol using porn 60% decided It should be 100% decided. You drink, relax, load up the porn and then feel li…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/23 12:43 AM
2

Be healthy, be happy, become +100yo This is a terrible goal. Living to over 100 is mostly outside your control and determined largely by environment and genetics. Sure you can live a healthy life, but if your goal is to live past 100 there are sacrifices you are making in terms of quality of life for the sake of longevity. In which case the lack of stress relief will probably get ya. Bugger that. The rest of your post is about your wife and your dancing monkey program. You're just playing games …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/23 09:10 AM
2

I think you have it around the wrong way. The future self doesn't matter if it's in Australia or Hawaii. One environment will be more conducive to the end result, but once you know the end result the decision will be clear.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 02:42 AM
2

I often feel the urge to defer decisions to my wife Be the man that makes decisions, your judgement is far less affected by emotions. Don't worry about being perfect or even being right, just worry about making decisions. When considering options, give yourself 7 seconds max and make a decision and just go with it. Stop deferring unless it is something that is both actually important and is more suited to her skill set.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 02:41 AM
1

Use the financial success to find solutions that allow you to spend time at the gym and prioritise yourself. I've read some articles about your wife/LTR becoming your mommy, and I identified with that. Make sure you follow a strict program of STFU while you get your shit together.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 02:32 AM
1

Interesting how a confident approach makes all the difference. In one case you were feeling her out to see if she was interested. In the other you were direct and made her feel desired. In the former were you initiating out of pure desire or for some validation? I told her that her lying and crossing a boundary was disrespectful. That's not boundary enforcement. She has been an ice queen since. I feel like a huge pussy She broke your boundary, lied about it and you're worried about her acting co…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/23 02:30 AM
2

The language used in your response suggests to me you’re stuck in your head grasping at theoretical structures and beliefs. Or I just don’t understand it because I conceptualise life differently. I think (given my understanding) it would be beneficial to get back to basics, away from the big picture and come up with some concrete actions you can take. So how do you build self esteem? Where do you need to get to? I recommend using some visualisation of the end result and working back from there. …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/23 04:34 AM
2

Anyone have any ideas on how to balance a full weight lifting program with surfing? If its rib pain from laying on the board it will only take like 2 surfs to get over. Surf in the morning and workout after. Have a rest day if you need to, it's worth it for good waves. If you have DOMS in the legs, stretch a bit before you go out and ride a wider fishy type board to draw out your turns more than snapping them. rebuilding an inner aesthetic of personal integrity by doing the things I love and enj…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/23 10:18 AM
2

game -> DTF wife You're thinking about things in the wrong order. I think there might be too much emphasis around here on gaming and interacting with your wife. I don't think there's ever a guy who would look back and think "I shouldn't have STFU so much." It's nice to understand how women think, what shit tests are and what comfort tests are but that's about it. That knowledge should just be there in the background, not something you're actively thinking about. When you're acting in a way that …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/23 11:30 PM
1

I still have a covert contract in there How did you notice that your wife submitted to your frame? If you have covert contracts you don't have a frame worth submitting to. I deal with my scoreboard related anger appropriately. You haven't dealt with your anger until you've let it go. When you realise all the anger is with yourself then you can go through that shit piece by piece and take accountability. Then you can decide to move on and you can drop it all. OR you can get stuck in the loop of e…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/23 08:57 AM
9

I was recently thinking about this. I like cuddles. I like embracing my wife and tickling her scalp while I watch football or whatever and she falls asleep. I like giving her massages. I like making her feel good. It makes me feel good. Why? Because I like her and I value her. She adds value to my life. When she feels good because of something I am doing it makes me happy. I finally understand how this is me giving my gifts to the world. I think of it like two cups and a liquid - lets call it lo…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/23 10:59 PM
1

Its a lot easier when you have a semi and actually want to fuck rather than just feeling her out for a validation hit. My wife is very busy with work always pending. All my problems with initiations were solved when I worked out the above.
/r/askMRP13/07/23 04:39 AM
2

This is a great OYS. Lots of following through and actually doing stuff. Most of it seems to be working and the stuff that isn't you're recognising and sorting out. Continue the grind.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/23 08:34 AM
5

OYS Checking in to share some notes. Been Lifting as a priority with CF and Yoga thrown in on days off. My shoulder is getting worse. It’s MRI time but I’m leaving it until I get back from overseas. Can’t even do a proper golf backswing. Have had to make significant substitutions and reductions in weight. DL and SQ still progressing well. I’ve had some success with re-thinking initiations worth noting. I went on a deep dive into the past posts on this forum and things sort of clicked for me. I w…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/23 10:43 AM
2

My pre-marriage body count 20+. Why is this in your OYS?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/23 06:22 AM
1

I asked what was up Never a good idea. I asked what else I could get Why? I got conflict over the lack of cuddles, but I think the hamster This is what happens after you enter her frame and activate the hamster. Either anticipate her needs or let her express them overtly unprompted. Don't go looking for issues. I don't want duty sex because it comes with a covert contract Her covert contracts are not your problem. If you want to make her aware of them you can use negative enquiry but don't expec…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/23 06:20 AM
1

These are valuable notes. There's still a lot of material here for you with this understanding. NMMNG and WOTSM could be worth the read with a new perspective.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 09:08 PM
4

Sex is easier to turn around than a wife you don't like.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 09:19 AM
1

Except when you're 25% BF, constantly validation seeking and codependent.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 07:37 AM
1

She shifted the conversation about what she needs to do for me to love her again, to which I answered “I don’t know”, but gave her few ideas about being more present in my life. “I’m weak, I need your support” Time to think about whether you actually like this woman and if so what your vision for the future is. Then communicate it. Or keep punishing her.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 07:35 AM
2

I'm not impressed with her level of effort and contributions. Suggestions welcome. You've been at this impasse for a while. I know that you've tried a lot of things and have probably covered the basics. You said you have you laid out your vision for yourself, your wife and your family's future? Does she want to actually be a part of that? It seems like she does to some extent but either wants to be dragged along with minimal effort or just doesn't understand her role. For most women you would th…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 07:29 AM
2

but still plenty of possibilities to improve here The Way of the Superior Man should be next after you get through WISNIFG. Also look at the posts here on managing feelz. You want to enjoy the chaotic feminine energy for what it is rather than losing your head. Overallmuch better vibe at home. Mainly because my mood has gone up. You are the "container". Lead.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 07:14 AM
2

You've outlined your problems and summarised your situation. What is your plan for doing something about it? It looks like confronting your fears and pushing into them to maximise your potential will give you results. If you can make an intelligent plan (MAP) and actually follow through things may start coming to you fairly easily. Be prepared for this though, there's likely a lot more work to do and things to unravel than it seems. Next week come in with a report on the things you actually did.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 07:10 AM
2

Did you read the first book on the sidebar last time you were here?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 04:08 AM
1

What's motivating you to go through the process? Think hard about it and be honest with yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/23 12:29 AM
2

Sounds like things are progressing well for you. Might want to look at work life balance to see if there's something you can do here. I still fail small tests of frame/determination What did you really want to do here, go to the gym or eat breakfast with her? Or maybe not, they are fucking fun. Sounds fun. Do what you want. Just make sure you're continuing to make steady progress with lifting/fitness over time. It's not like you spent the weekend at a gaming convention sitting on your ass.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/23 02:30 AM
2

I am starting to get off my ass and go do some things that I know need to happen. Good but what are you working on? Have you tackled the low hanging fruit of your plan yet? Energy sucking habits like porn and drinking. Are you going to be the man who fucks his hand to porn and drinks or the man who doesn't? If its the latter, how long until that starts? My wife seems to follow suit You are the container. If anything, it's a slight motivator to continue the path I'm headed down. Good. I still cat…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 07:07 AM
2

Have you ever considered that they are the type of men who are not worth fucking? Nah, it's all just HL/LL, asexuals and not enough chore play. Their wives agreed to love them always for better or worse when they married.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 06:58 AM
2

I said "No, I told you what would happen". (In reference to my previously established boundaries). Look at you enforcing your boundaries. Need to work on this: Oh wait. So you've packed your bags and moved out of your house leaving your wife who is obviously struggling with your son and a drug habit that you believe puts him in danger? I have decided we will alternate taking care of him weekly. I think you need to do some thinking about what is and isn't acceptable behaviour. As a result you nee…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 06:54 AM
2

I think we should start giving people a pat on the back and a lot more credit for being brave enough to post their victim pukes. It takes a lot of courage to come out and tell a bunch of internet strangers what a bitch their wife is for not fucking them. More field reports would be good but there’s a lot going on in OYS. When someone has some new notes that add value and have been tested I’m sure they will post them. There’s a lot of tools there for just about any situation in the sidebar,, sear…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/23 03:28 AM
1

My goals with her involve being more dominant and more compassionate. What happens if you don't get the response you're after?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/23 08:53 PM
5

I could easily go to my Doc and get some Ambien and Restoril, but I’d rather not get into that cycle Try and sort it out naturally. It may be harder to work out but in the long run much more beneficial to be able to regulate your sleep yourself. Sleeping drugs are usually terrible unless absolutely necessary short term. 3 tools in combination with any interaction: Fogging, Negative Inquiry, and STFU in that particular order. when things go off the rails STFU. Brilliant. It's a great idea to simp…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/23 08:49 PM
1

To live a life of adventure, shared with people who make it better, pursuing new experiences, and increasing my competence as I work toward my goals. A bunch of buzz words about what everyone is or should be doing (to different degrees as defined by yourself). What is a life of adventure? For some guy with social anxiety who has played boardgames with his nerd friends in his dungeon all his life this looks vastly different to a guy who has explored the world in a dingy. There's nothing wrong wit…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/23 01:25 AM
2

She (and/or the nanny) have gotten a lot better about the kids’ toys and picking up, but if the nanny isn’t cleaning the kitchen / doing the dishes, then they’ll be a mess. If you're paying for a nanny you shouldn't have to deal with that shit UNLESS you're the one leaving dirty dishes and pans around after cooking. Mise en place is essential. So you could either manage the nanny to make sure she's on top of that shit OR you could put your wife in charge of managing the nanny and making it clear…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 11:02 PM
2

I really got a lot out of Psycho Cybernetics and the visualisation exercises for really seeing what I wanted in life. I'm not sure if it will tell you too much about what you want in a woman. I want mine to take care of the shit I don't want to, to challenge me and to bring energy into my life.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 08:19 PM
2

Sex sounds good, the rest sounds shit but you can probably lead her out of it and get to a good point here. You're probably aware of and have tried the suggestions I have but I'll shoot anyway. Some people are just slobs. A lot of this has to do with the standards set of the household they were raised in. The thing is you need to take care of the stuff that bothers you and takes your energy away. Maybe you can identify those things and take responsibility for them, while leaving the shit you don…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 09:15 AM
1

Doctors said no PIV due to a specific preterm birth risk during pregnancy and I am now finishing up the general 6 weeks of no PIV after birth. I was getting incredible BJ’s part of me wonders if she would be willing to suck Harry Style’s cock. Real medical issues can be a legitimate reason for lack of sex. This includes pregnancy and hormones. Pregnant women are generally in comfort mode, I don't think they're too worried about Harry Style's cock. If it is still a not go, I guess that means I ne…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/23 09:51 AM
2

now quality is really starting to improve as my wife's inhibitions are starting to fall away. Is this at the place you wanted it to be? Are you still questioning the motivations behind it? Other than the threat of divorce, what do you think has contributed to this? I find myself having to enforce boundaries and expectations constantly. Is this the laziness issue continuing? Is there a way to lead here without boundaries?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/23 09:33 AM
1

I never bothered to write one out. I figured my mission is whatever I put my time and energy towards, which aligns with my current goals, which are in congruence with my long term goals. Spending the time to make that look pretty never felt worthwhile. I believe there's a danger in defining your purpose and who you are with the limited language we have available to us, but that's getting a bit hippy.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/23 09:27 AM
2

should I be open about how I feel Probably not that one. A good rule is to never communicate from a place of insecurity, weakness or neediness. Think about it, process the thoughts, identify what bothers you and come up with a plan. Either leadership or boundaries. I kept my self respect and felt good about how I responded. I minimized deer and unattractive replies. Great. It felt good to recognize and handle this form of manipulation. Good. Remember shit tests are about you and comfort tests ar…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/23 09:21 AM
3

I think a well worded mission is highly overrated. 90% of the ones I see, especially for the guys who aren't a good slog in, are full of bullshit.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/23 08:43 AM
2

She has my phone's location This doesn't make sense. Even if she has your phones location, how did she work out you were driving recklessly? Profuse apologizing led to hours-long verbal intercourse the following day, interrupting sleep (muscle growth) and work time. And you want to sleep with this woman? A lot of what you have written suggests that you're looking for a mother not a woman to fuck.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/23 08:26 AM
8

Averaged 1,890 calories. Not at the 1,750 target but a deficit at least. You're at 25% bodyweight. This "I did good enough" attitude is pathetic. Now I notice it myself and care about hygiene, so I keep it clean. I could shower more often, like a man who actually fucks. Again this is pathetic. This is low hanging fruit and you can't even get on top of it. My style has improved, largely due to SO's advice. It's good someone finally nailed something in this OYS. Shame it was your SO. Why did you s…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/23 10:05 AM
2

Time for some more FR stuff in your next OYS to explain how this is working for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/23 09:31 AM
3

Maybe you are trying to convince yourself. If so it's worth some thought. The main purpose of OYS is to trade notes and get other's perspectives on things you may be overlooking. It's an opportunity to learn. In that case getting defensive and trying to convince someone of your point of view makes no sense. That's all ego. If you want to learn, drop the ego. In my opinion there are three main ways to respond that are useful. - to decide that you understand what they are saying and that it doesn'…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/23 09:27 AM
1

Why are you trying to convince someone? Why are you framing this as a debate? Think hard about this. Then look back at your answer to FF and read it as impartially as possible.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/23 11:59 PM
2

Can you assertively communicate without the DEER? What’s all this got to do with feminism? I sense your ego is protecting you here from facing your past neediness/validation and excusing it with some bullshit about women being bad.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/23 03:35 AM
2

DEER This shouldn’t be work for you, it should be living by the standards you set for yourself. Also less suffering more fucking.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/23 03:30 AM
3

It looks like things are settling down and falling into place for you. One thing to be wary of is overuse injuries on your joints from that many pushups. You might be better off transitioning to some different pushup variations. There was a bit of discussion on this in the tiger droppings forum.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/23 01:12 AM
1

OYS I wasn’t going to post this week but writing this shit out seems to help me process things. Lifting has been good. Constantly 3 days GSLP + 2 days CF + 1 day Yoga. Also doing GSLP Homework: Pushups, Pullups. End each workout with a core finisher. Good results, I look great and am progressing on each lift. I had a check up appointment with my surgeon a few days ago to review my most recent MRI. I went into the appointment not even considering the potential for bad news. I was told that there …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/23 02:40 AM
8

So you spent the week realising you need to get a job but didn't actually do anything about it? 4 paragraphs on that? Seriously. Your post could just be: I have to get a job to support myself. I didn't drink coffee, drink or smoke weed.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/23 10:15 AM
1

This is probably all coming from resentment. Some of it is likely from having to take leadership while you were suffering and you needing her during that time. This was starting to rear its head in my relationship towards the end of my recovery from cancer treatment. Sex was daily, I enjoyed it but it feels more like manipulation, to keep me in the relationship. Sex is moslty just quickies, and she has no interest in engaging. Search for the every unhappy wife is a rape victim post. I have tried…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/23 12:03 AM
2

I definitely need to work on myself, no doubt. So long as we agree on that the rest is semantics. I will get into it a bit further, not necessarily for your sake but for anyone who reads these notes and may be in a similar situation. According to the official diagnostic criteria for the DSM (Box 2): I see what you are getting at, and I agree that a lot of people inappropriately diagnose themselves with illnesses they don't have to create labels or make excuses. What I am getting at is that you a…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/23 02:42 AM
1

I hope the future me is a better version and is changing it for a better future for him. It's the same person though. You can't predict how you will behave and feel in 6 weeks time? Why? Perhaps this fluidity and floating between approaches is just an attempt to find a state in which you feel comfortable and you can remain. In that state you are adopting someone else's frame. There may be nothing wrong with that, but I would challenge you to think further about what is the oobertas approach, it …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 10:46 PM
1

Re leadership - an example is meal prep / cooking. I ask her to cook 2x a week and otherwise have things available for me to eat for dinner (leftovers, etc). I know you said this is just an example but is it the only example? It could be more about a block for her cooking if it is. When you delegate to her and she puts effort in are you rewarding/acknowledging that effort (not the result)?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 10:39 PM
2

She fits the minimum 5/9 traits for BPD, but all of the ones for Fearful-Avoidant attachment. According to who? People demonstrate all sorts of traits to suit all sorts of labels all the fucking time. Have a read of the Psychiatry DSM books and you'll diagnose yourself with at least half a dozen "disorders". What if all this mental health shit is completely wrong, just like the stuff we look back on from 10, 20, 30 years ago? Especially the "psychologist who wrote a book" stuff. Within the profe…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 10:35 PM
1

"what does the textbook say?" which makes things incongruent rather than natural. I did this too. Eventually I worked out that I needed to think of things more like "what does the textbook say that I can apply to my life and situation to shape it into the existence I want." I also got stuck for a while on initiations and sexual dynamics thinking that I should try to achieve what I thought was this super red pill HoA-esque sex life. Some of that shit sounds appealing and effective, but in reality…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 10:28 PM
2

I have been sidebarring and applying for almost 5 years, 3 in earnest. I consciously focus on what I'm working on when interacting here. I work on it like a pyramid. Perhaps this approach is contributing to the length of time that you've been dedicating. Everyone is different and maybe this is the way you need to learn and apply but from my perspective it seems more like you're focusing on the flavour of the week before hopping to the next. A lot of the stuff here (especially some of the reading…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 08:55 PM
2

I've noticed with your OYS and replies that whatever work your currently focusing on dominates the tone of your messages. Are you able to internalise the lessons you learn along the way or do you feel like you jump from concept to concept?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 08:43 AM
3

How is the reaction to shit tests: I just remove myself and start studying the onboarding stuff for my job. I’ve got bigger fish to fry and a world to build for myself Different from failed initiations? staying around her when she turns me down so there isn’t a ‘consequence’ when she turns me down (not in like an autistic, reactionary way).
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 08:07 AM
2

My BF% hasn’t changed much according to my scale, but I am noticeably more muscular. Fixing the fridge is great but do you have an actual diet plan? I have been with (diagnosed) BPD women before, and this feels eerily similar. So you married this chick without working that out? Are you sure you're not using that label as an excuse for your shitty behaviour/leadership. I have been soft, agreeable, lazy, gossipy, indecisive, self-sabotaging, and weak. When I fail to be authentic, she becomes anxio…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 05:49 AM
2

What I learned by not being defensive This is great. It shows you can consider your wife's point of view and whether she is raising a legitimate issue while still not engaging her hamster. spending more time doing things with the kids. Try and get them outside the house if you can. For me, a lot of kids aren't active enough these days and don't see their dads being superstars in the natural environment. YMMV. Also, a good tip I heard is to have a seperate activity/hobby with each kid that you ca…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 05:24 AM
1

It’s not an on-going discussion. This could be exhausting. effort flagging Check to make sure that you've provided the leadership here and check that her excuses aren't valid (or to what extent). Make sure you're not expecting her to captain. Something to keep an eye on for sure as it's important to you.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/23 05:06 AM
1

Whack out the old fella every time you talk to a hot chick. Bonus competition points if you've got a semi.
/r/askMRP06/05/23 09:04 AM
2

I feel like you're leaving out part of the story. This is not normal behaviour for a LTR of 2 years in response to you taking a day out. You're obviously very angry. You've read a bunch of red pill stuff, the post on saving the best and you're losing your shit over it. That reaction is indicative of you having some issues you need to work through. The first point is working out where all this anger is coming from? What's going to make you think the next girl is going to give you her best? Why do…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/23 09:02 AM
1

In what way are you working hard to overcome these issues?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/23 08:42 AM
1

​ me being the "victim" Take some responsibility. I recommend finding the post on drunk captains. I haven't because and because Bullshit excuses. Take responsibility. She manages it all, and "decides" who should be using what credit card, etc She's the captain. She hates it. I know I won't get any gift and I bought her something. Covert Contract. You're a man, if you want something go and buy it. I told her I wanted us to go out on a date that day. She flat-out said NO, but she would be willing …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/23 09:36 AM
1

One was a girl where I am still a bit shocked as to how well it went. Think about this reaction and what it says about: approach with conviction. Then find the block there and develop a plan to overcome it. From what you write it feels like you both give way too many fucks about what people think of you and are sensitive. I could be wrong, but if that's the case you'll need to work through it.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/23 09:23 AM
1

i think it’s a dislike of the awkward silence or lull in conversation and what their opinion is. Make it your mission to sit there and live in that discomfort over the next few weeks. You don't need to be autistic about it, but try to get comfortable in the silence.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/23 09:18 AM
2

because in three months I can get fluent, and when I’ll reach the job seeking stage I can aim at Barcelona and Madrid areas. be careful this doesn't become: because in three months I can get fluent and aim for a job in Spain where I get to go and be the same weak man and repeat the same mistakes. If you're not living in a Spanish speaking country, being surrounded by and practicing the language it is way harder to learn, especially at almost 30. Get the job, go there and do an intensive course a…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/23 09:16 AM
2

There's a lot of waffle here based on your thoughts. None of it really means much. Lots of talk and little (relevant) action. older guy, better financial stability, and he listened to her which I hadn’t for long. Did his semen also taste better than yours when you kissed her? You're devoting all this time to bro-science, your ex and a language you can't speak consistently to learn properly. Yet you don't have time for the sidebar and materials? Looking at your post its pretty obvious you need to…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/23 01:56 AM
1

Whats the six? edit: NVM googled it.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/23 04:12 AM
1

work daily to move past it. How are you working to move past it? And why? What are you trying to achieve? Maybe you have shiity genetics and you're an ugly bastard, but you can't use that as an excuse for being fat. If you're ugly, you better put effort into being fit, well groomed, dressing sharp and having game. I've met lots of ugly bastards who pull hot chicks. Skillsets, timelines are only limited by what I put into them. Exactly, so you have an inbuilt excuse for not performing in your vis…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/23 02:11 AM
2

So long as you're not trying to find the narrative of women being evil so you can shift the blame to them, take no responsibility and fall into the trap of hating women for how they operate. For me, now that I can see how they operate and understand why - I love and appreciate women and femininity more than ever.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/23 02:04 AM
1

I'm not sure what it was. There's no CC's or need for validation that I can pinpoint at the moment. I've thought hard about it and decided to just let it go but keep a mental note of it.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/23 01:58 AM
5

KPIs I define for myself are: Not being fat should be 1-7.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 10:17 AM
7

I glanced at her and commented that she was wearing a nice dress and that I liked how her butt looked. There are men and women who cross my path everyday, and I'm going to look at them; I want to look at people and there's nothing wrong with that for me. I continued talking You didn't just look though, you felt the need to make a comment. Then you DEER'ed. Why did you make that comment? I might be wrong but it feels like you did it in order to make a point that you're a man with frame now. She g…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 10:09 AM
1

Lifting Did you actually do any lifting? Called a friend to chat. Planned to play games online this week. Reached out to a new friend to hang out as soon as he can. Reached out to a work friend to climb together. It's good you're putting in some effort here but it also says a lot that the only thing that you actually planned and committed to is to play online games. To analyze and filter, and ultimately say some badass line that you deem “right,” is still failing because you’re so invested in he…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 08:33 AM
1

more frustrated with how i handle my situations. It's good that you're frustrated with yourself. Use that anger to make some changes. Or, maybe I'm too much of a pussy and dont have a backbone. I'm leaning towards the latter. Is this how you want to talk about yourself? I'm angry. Its my response. And its a bad one. It's just an emotion. You can use it productively.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 08:05 AM
2

still starting the new role. Just need to stay consistent, show up every day, and do what I say I’m going to do. Why are you even saying this? You've started a new job, this shit shouldn't even be in question. sometimes extremely enthusiastic. This may be a timing thing more than anything you're doing. lots of time with her even when we aren’t doing anything that aligns with my interests. What are you going to do about this? Do you have anything fun or productive to do with that time instead? Yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 07:56 AM
2

(This sums up what had been major dysfunction in my relationship.) Who's fault is this? What does this understanding do for you?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 07:44 AM
2

stop looking at others genetics, gains, transitions, etc. Why is this an issue? Focus on what I can achieve with my current and future skillsets, genetics, and timelines. In your mind are these limiting factors for you? no I'm good I don't need anything from you", I STFU, went on about my evening, got my lift and cardio on. Great. You can see the results of this over the next few days. Discussions on how the future is shaping up with regard to employment, outside opportunities This will become a…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/23 07:35 AM
1

OYS 18 35 |Married 9 Y | 2 Kids | 6'1 | 82 kg | 14% BF I am really enjoying this foray into the GSLP. I am much more focused on the program and continue to meet the targets and move the weights. I have started trying to work on technique more after Dunlops comment last week about using the legs in the BP made me realise I know nothing about what I’m doing. Had a breakthrough with back squat mobility by learning to roll out the hip flexor. Parts of my chest and shoulders have already gotten notic…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/23 10:04 AM
2

I imagine not being fat is the first step. Getting that weight down will solve a lot of issues and provide the opportunity to see things from a way different perspective. For most people, what you think your capable of at 25% BF and what you think your capable of at 15% BF is vastly different, especially once you start moving some weights.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/23 11:06 PM
2

It's really easy to get OI about it when you're having a good time no matter what. BAM. Haven't seen it summarised so nicely.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/23 03:32 AM
2

There's a post somewhere on MRP about playing with the hamster while it's in the maze rather than letting it escape. I can't find it right now, but if you're not familiar with it I will dig it up for you. It feels like your shifting the goal posts. When asked what you want in the past you haven't been able to give a really clear answer, just some vague suggestions about sex not living up to the standard you're after and her being lazy/entitled. Getting the sex you're after is your responsibility…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/23 03:25 AM
3

There is still anger down there Sort that out as a priority. Dig deep into it and find the source. when I drink If you can't control yourself when you drink, cut it out. butthurt passive-aggressive snipes at my wife saying things like “oh come on” Sounds like you're needy. Are you using kino as an element of gaming your wife or are you trying to get a response? As much as I want to believe I’m making progress, Progress in the eyes of your wife? Maybe as determined to her response to your Kino? K…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/23 04:11 AM
3

I think it can be beneficial to stop looking at other's behaviour in terms of "good" or "bad" and making judgements on "punishments" and "rewards" to suit. Dropping this allows you to stop trying to train your wife, focusing on her behaviour and instead to just please and focus on yourself. But your punishment (removing time, attention, affection, commitment - taac) only works if you're attractive. A nice guy can "punish" but still don't get a desired outcome because his punishment is useless (i…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/23 04:02 AM
6

I've been doing RP about a month now. Wife is still super distant. I've also been ignoring her more so I can own my shit. Frankly so much of her complaints are legit. I want her to get all that shit out on me. You should ask her how attractive she finds you each day out of 10 and just recalibrate based on her answers. You're doing this for her anyway. I've been a faggot beta nice guy for years. She isn't going to buy some overnight transformation and I'm saying fuck it. Then why are you asking t…
/r/askMRP24/04/23 01:24 AM
1

Manning the walls you talk about takes energy and requires maintenence. Can you, now having made them effective and discerning, recoup some of that energy for other means? I think I know what you're saying here. When I first started operating in this way I felt the need to conceptualise it to ensure I could return to this state if I slipped up, but I haven't felt the need to revisit it. I think the visualisation exercises I do really helps set things on autopilot to a degree though I wouldn't sa…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/23 01:14 AM
1

Your biggest challenge will be making sure to not backslide. Spot on. I can sense the temptation to fall back into some beta behaviours as a "reward" based on my previous programming. Luckily I know that this is a trap, especially on the back of Perseus experimentation. Also, storms will come you just have to make sure you know how to properly handle the weather when it turns. Yep. Perhaps the biggest lesson my readings in MRP have taught me is an understanding of human behaviour and motivations…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/23 11:58 PM
2

I didn't think that this spark and a fostering career are incompatible with each other. Nice. Some people get stuck in this or that. You may encounter a lot of judgement about taking the elements you like from each lifestyle but if you remain congruent and within your frame there is potential for a well calibrated existence here. Thanks for your view, and I hope you may reconsider the issue for yourself and maybe give a shot at these two methods that started to have substantial scientific founda…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/23 11:38 PM
1

Get out and make a new friend to hang around and do activities with Do you have any concrete plans here? lucid dreaming Breathwork, cold showers/ice baths and gratefulness meditation When I was hanging around a lot of surfers I met a lot of people who lived in this hippyish new age world. Life was all about creating time and space to surf, looking after the environment and being kind/woke. At the time, I liked the idea of living to surf. A few of them were good blokes and I still call them frien…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/23 10:29 AM
1

what should be running in the background as you are holding a conversation. ooh la la
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/23 10:06 AM
1

I am not answering on behalf of Blarg, but I am interested in this conversation. It was also a bit of an acknowledgment that I’m “happy” with the improvement but wondering if I’m just happy it’s better even though I don’t think it’s great. Do you know what you want? What does "great" look like? What do you want that you're not currently seeing? I think my wife is a taker (tendency to be more selfish & lazy than usual). Why does this matter? I’d still rather be evaluating and deciding Be careful …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/23 09:36 AM
1

(3) you get the treatment you deserve and/or allow. The more you deserve the less poor treatment you will allow. In terms of marriages there's a few problems that seem to pop up here for people: - Communicating these expectations in a way that is understood and believed by a woman. That woman also has to be ready to receive the message. Knowing what you want, knowing how to communicate/lead. - In order for a woman to receive the message, they need to believe your worth it. Your wife is often the…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 11:57 PM
2

Suggestions for handling physical aggression are welcome. Like a lot of stuff here - hard boundary.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 07:50 AM
2

finding my real mission Don't stress too much about this right now. It's not worth the time and energy to try and put together a nicely worded mission statement when you don't really know what you want yet. You've had some good realisations, it looks like your focus at the moment is on becoming the MAN you want to be. Put your time into that. Nice work starting lifting. What other actions are you going to take this week?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 04:09 AM
1

Thanks for highlighting this. I don't believe the two paragraphs are linked. I thought it was useful to point out the anger to those who are able to turn things around as something to watch out for. I was able to observe the anger and process it without expressing it. Since I've done so, I've let it go and in fact found gratitude. but these are at least the ingredients for some covert contracts. I did feel the need to mention the resistance to initiations. In the past it has bothered me at times…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/23 03:46 AM
15

OYS 17 35 |Married 9 Y | 2 Kids | 6'1 | 82 kg | 14% BF I got crook with the flu for a few days and made the decision to go back to GSLP. I realised that I have been stuck at 15%ish body fat for a long while and although I was more muscular, lean and generally bigger there is room for improvement given the amount of work I put in. I have ab definition but I want that six pack. I used the time I was sick to plan a better schedule and program for me this time around. I have purchased the Perseus ap…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/23 10:24 AM
2

You need to Lift, STFU and Read. You need to revisit NMMNG if you have already read it. Then WISNIFG. I would also recommend going through J10's posts given your situation. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/88mbvb/quick_links_for_all_of_jacktenofhearts_posts/ https://archive.is/rZ7DN I am taking the baby when my wife feels overwhelmed. I went to check on her the other yesterday and ask what was going on and could I do anything I asked "Has my being here thrown it all (the house) o…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/23 04:47 AM
2

I let myself feel guilty There's a book about this. ask if she was okay when I answer a phone call, etc. What you're really compromising here is your ability to be your own judge. You're asking her permission to do a very basic thing. Not only are you giving her all the power over your actions, but in doing so she will resent you for it - she doesn't want this power and she certainly won't respect you for giving it to her. No matter what her hamster says. If you think her response to your answer…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/23 09:36 PM
1

He said he chose me the moment he entered the room. He might be interested in more than being a role model.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/23 03:29 AM
1

It wasn't my wrist, but the base of my palm that felt that pressure/weakness. Maybe try some grip strength stuff? push further with negative assertion, and don't offer a compromise too soon Why do you have to compromise? Did you do something wrong? It worked so well, especially when I just acted (head kiss, hug) and said nothing. This is good, her "problems" aren't yours to solve. When you try and problem solve you become associated with those "problems". This was a reminder to me that 24/7, eve…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/23 03:28 AM
1

I honestly think the relationship is unlikely savable. I think I have received my ILYBINILWY talk more than once. I should plan on a new living situation, but first step is to change my needy mindset. The first step is taking care of myself Yep, its likely gone. She's probably fucking someone else. Time to build your life. You've come to some good realisations in this post and your planned actions are good. Make sure you read up on and are counting calories with a meal plan to maximise protein a…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/23 01:26 AM
1

I'll send you a PM.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/23 01:18 AM
2

On the other hand, when I do like my wife's behavior I play the "nice card." My "playing the nice card" doesn't seem to be done out of genuine goodness, but out of laziness. Your actions and mindset are still reactive to your wife. Are you running the dancing monkey program so your wife can desire you and you can have your Disney fairy-tail marriage? Swallow the pill. 1.) I don't initiate because I don't like her 2.) When I finally do like her How does this work? What changes that makes you like…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/23 10:01 PM
1

While I still assume the increased effort is some version of hysterical bonding, it doesn't really matter. now I'm evaluating the new status quo against the alternatives. Your measured planning and thought out approach has provided this to you. You can equally take the time here to see where things end up and go through the mental process of examining what you want while experiencing the relationship dynamics you're after. I've also added some "conditioning" that I picked up from reading about G…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/23 09:51 PM
2

his time I am doing the activities in the book as well as involving my partner. This is a mistake and the worst advice given in that book (along with the sex moratorium).
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 10:57 PM
2

In reality, I also developed slower than I could have. Realistically, based on where I was when I met my wife, I could have been close to where I am now 3 years earlier and missed out on around 500k in earnings by not being more focused. Things are coming together now, but I can't forget that it's recent and overdue What is productive about this line of thinking? Especially when you've realised: no one is responsible for my results but me. ​ 2) getting better anyways just by virtue of me living …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 10:56 PM
2

I love my “kids in the car” playlist.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 10:30 PM
2

What do these plans/structure look like?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 10:28 PM
3

So you've spent the week thinking and planning what you're going to do instead of actually doing anything? I have also realized that the biggest hurdle for me initially will be carving out time for myself Last week you didn't sound very busy. It was totally unstructured. I did whatever I felt in the moment, no plans for the future, and sometimes when I didn't know what to do with myself, or if it was just easier than whatever I was going to do, I would just attach to people around me and do what…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 08:58 AM
1

Does it feel exhausting?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 04:28 AM
1

Reading this got exhausting. It feels like you're over analysing every little interaction in your life through the perspective of several tools and techniques you're trying to both balance and master at the same time. All the while it seems like you're often missing the point of why these tools and techniques are recommended. Continue to find what I see I agree with in the criticism I see and move from there to something I also agree with that surprises me or reminds me of what I wasn't seeing. …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 02:48 AM
2

But how does one lead the relationship in a fun direction when they're feeling more and more depressed about it from day to day? I'll fake the kino and flirting but I feel artificial about it. Kino and flirting are meant to be fun.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 02:19 AM
4

Fucking back to square one, or worse. Failure is a great opportunity to reflect and learn. The process is non-linear. I slammed a car door shut, and threw a small fit like a child. This made me cringe. You should examine why anyone would get this reaction out of you. Next time a hot young chick in a skimpy outfit catches your eye, be sure to tell her to buy an outfit just like that.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 02:07 AM
5

I am trying to be much more fun/cocky at all times. Even when rejected. This is good. The way I look at initiations now is as an invitation into my awesome little world to have some fun together. If she doesn't accept, there's a list of other fun stuff I can always do, so I move on to that. I'll echo the experience of 3KL above.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 01:45 AM
2

oh DEER.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 01:23 AM
24

Silk robes, always untied.
/r/askMRP03/04/23 11:36 PM
2

I'm keeping with my program. Sure. But why not post about it? With writing my own, I try to control how readers will take it. I recognize limiting my self-disclosure to projection in criticism and advice is a key factor in how I'm limiting myself. If you're happy with your program, why not post about it in your OYS' anyway? Especially when you're trying to: This allows me to get better at judging myself and finding ways in which I can agree with and explore the criticism I receive from others an…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/23 09:12 PM
2

I had a hand callus rip and so I modified my lifts to reduce irritation I bet that really hurt. I eventually gave in and apologized Why? I was asked for an apology but it could have been an ask for me to dance in a banana suit. No. Beyond failing the shit test, you also showed that she is the judge of your actions, thoughts and values. Far worse. Instead of not apologising because you knew you hadn't done something deliberately wrong - you were focused on not apologising because: RP material on …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/23 03:36 AM
2

I've been setting aside time to think about what it is that I want, and who I am, but it's difficult. I have trouble connecting with myself, or even imagining myself going off and doing whatever I want. It feels like the world is out of focus. I can sense that there is something else going on out there beyond my current existence, but I cant quite see it. This is sad. Stop thinking about shit and start doing shit. Start with one thing: something new to try (you don't even have to like it), a ski…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/23 03:27 AM
3

on paper it represents a potentially huge opportunity, but it would mean a title downgrade in the short term. What's the downside of the title downgrade?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/23 03:16 AM
2

Start lifting already, even if you start with an empty barbell you've made the first step. Don't get too hung up on a perfectly worded mission. It will evolve and isn't worth agonising over. Goals should be SMART (google it). Be careful you're not being gaming and flirty as a covert contract. It should be because its fun. I am, however, feeling good about my interactions with strangers Good. Keep doing this, its a good step in developing frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/23 03:00 AM
7

I found your post hard to read, especially the start where you are arguing with yourself. So I ended up skipping a lot of it. But I did pick up on a lot of anger, it's everywhere. I have not been happy with myself and where I am with my life; I have been taking this out on my partner. You need to figure this out. In the meantime Lift, STFU and read. You should be going hard with the lifting given your anger, its a good opportunity to use it productively. Don't expect the world to do you any favo…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/23 02:52 AM
1

How did these nice guy behaviours manifest?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/23 02:44 AM
1

That's a good way of describing what happened. I will make a FR. At the moment I am wary of things falling back, especially given other's experiences in the past.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/23 03:38 AM
2

Thanks. You're posts have been very helpful along the way, especially recently the one about choosing to communicate. I would warn others that for me though, because you speak very metaphorically, often I can't really work out the line of thinking you are trying to provoke until I have reached the point at which it applies to me and then it all makes sense. I put a few of your posts on the back burner and revisited them later as the lightbulb switched.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/23 03:35 AM
2

Other Stuff My business preparation is going well. Car University has been amazingly helpful, especially during my errands. I have a new lead which could turn things quite profitable right from the start and allow me to hire staff to begin with. I have been researching and planning out my business wardrobe. I plan on getting a bunch of business shirts and trousers made to measure along with some sports jackets and a few pairs of nice shoes. As the boss I want to set the tone for professionalism …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/23 10:26 AM
28

OYS 16 This is more field report than OYS but there’s nothing new here that others haven’t experienced. It has also turned out quite long. I thought it was worth sharing my notes in case they are useful to someone or if there’s something I am overlooking that I should be aware of (as always). The Lead Up Shortly after my last OYS I felt as though I fully realised my frame. I felt truly confident and sure of myself. I was acting congruently exactly in the way that I wanted. I can’t really describ…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/23 10:26 AM
2

It’s the new trendy mental illness. Sign up for your amphetamines today!
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/23 07:59 PM
11

This is a great post, especially in terms of giving an insight to the process of working out what you want. The MRP journey is indeed lonely. I suspect that it has to be until you get somewhere near the point that you did. I believe most men want that intimacy you described. Unlike sex, intimacy is harder to fake - there is no starfish and their partner has to not only want to go to that place with them but to trust that they can handle it. I hope new people don't go looking for intimacy without…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/23 12:47 AM
1

When I do chores, she often follows me around the house and talks, intermittently fingering her phone. What about just gaming her the whole time. Enjoy fucking with, kino'ing and annoying her until she either gets her tingles and you can fuck or she leaves you alone. Win win.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/23 09:36 AM
4

I get anxious, I still think it's an important thing to do each year. So I do it. This is good, it is what growth is all about. This is in TWOTSM, pushing against your comfort level and into your fears. If you do this continuously in life you will continue to push your own limits to the point where you become far more capable than what you would have imagined to begin with. "Whatever, maybe you're just not this perfectly poised master orator that you think you are. Just get on with it." Nice.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/23 09:30 AM
1

For a mission it sounds like someone who is letting life happen to them.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/23 09:25 AM
1

I might reach out once I've filed, but I'm more focused on divorcing well than dating. Good discipline. Like Red Letter's post above, you might be one of the guys not to LTR the first chick who touches you after you get your freedom.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/23 09:22 AM
1

doesn’t go to the root of the problem that would be instead to change the way I work, to enforce boundaries or not to live together at all, since I am also living in a different city from my workplace (just for her and coziness). Yep those actions will solve all your problems, you don't need to deal with: Anger, I attached myself to her frame, I started to be less interesting and shit tests impacted my self esteem. But you know; change the woman, move, get a desk and you'll be sweet.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/23 02:57 AM
2

Though the initial mistake comes much earlier: where I lost my independence and spaces. Too late for that now. Get over it and move on. I want to regain my right to be sad and angry at my work You have that right. Expecting your partner to take on that burden, comfort and support you is another thing. You're living a fantasy if you expect that. It's all in the sidebar. everyone is sad or angry sometimes he just deal with it Some more so than others, some deal with it better than others. own spac…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/23 02:55 AM
2

have a couple of DLVs I still get very pissed off I am wondering if it’s too early for fuck me or fuck you So you got sad about work, let your bad mood affect her, showed weakness, failed to lead and dried her right up. Of course she then rejected you. You're also going through an anger phase and despite not having a clear view on what you want, where you're going or how to get there you're considering an ultimatum and attempting to negotiate desire? At least you recognised the initial mistake. …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/23 06:42 AM
2

I am done with enervating people, whingers and fragile people where I feel like I have to hide myself or bring myself down to their level to engage. It's draining and I've done my share of it. I've found smart, successful people are generally confident enough to engage in meaningful exchanges. Btw, another way to demonstrate high value is lifting up those that are low self-esteem, etc. or bringing them into the fold. This is fine in a group setting, especially to include them and try to bring th…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/23 08:40 PM
2

Thanks. Re reading that post has some different meaning to me at this stage.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/23 08:11 PM
1

One trick is to approach chicks with a different mindset. Instead of having the goal of getting 5 chicks numbers, try and find out 3 things about 5 different girls - the more interesting the better. Make that your goal for the first night. It may change the way you approach the interaction.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/23 08:04 AM
1

Definitely not sweet and enjoyable. Usually something along the line of "I made a commitment to you when I married you to stay with you no matter what while you're so shallow/onlythinkofsex/somethingelse, I don't feel secure in this relationship, what if Igetfat/stopfuckingyou/something else." Thinking now it's probably just a frame test.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/23 01:37 AM
1

If I show her how prepared I am to divorce then she will... Yep I was thinking this as well. FF make sure that you think very hard on this to detect any potentially hidden CC.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 09:42 PM
2

The high value man who rocks the boat for fun gets a smiling, half-assed protest and generates tingles. Bang on. This is game 101. FTFY. Alternatively, don't let someone else bring you down (frame). Yes but retarded me interpreted the remove time/attention as be grumpy and distant (in order to condition those around me). Now I just remove myself and stay happy. FYI, this has a whiff of people pleasing. Yep, my upbringing was all about people pleasing. My father was a bloke who would give people …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 09:38 PM
3

coupled with my discontinuation of masturbation, Why have you ceased masturbation? Is this an issue for you? If so, allowing yourself to masturbate as a relief can be liberating, taking the pressure off the need to have sex. Especially as you seem so frustrated and in your wife's frame. Just don't do it with porn or too frequently. trying to logically argue At least you recognised the mistake. Just state what you want in the future and let her react however she wants. She will probably whinge an…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 01:32 AM
1

While I've been tracking macros for a while now, I was off give or take several hundred calories and usually way under on protein. This is not doing it well. I had been seeing a therapist for about five years now, but I'm at a point in my MAP where it's no longer useful. A lot of therapists and psychologists in the mental health space are more worried about making their patients co-dependent friends than actually helping them resolve their issues. I'm now treating it as an emergency. WTF does th…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 01:17 AM
2

Agree this seems terrible. If you're ready to walk, issue the papers and follow through. There shouldn't be anything left at this stage. Leaving the door open to work it out will just come off as weak to her, at best you might get some hysterical bonding and then a return to normal. I believe there was someone who left the papers with their wife along with a seperate document outlining exactly what they want from their relationship. They put both papers on the table, told the wife to choose one …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 01:13 AM
1

It infuriated her (and still does), but I didn’t back down… This is a fine response. Along the lines of what I've been trotting out, some variation of "love for me is choosing you every day" where I'm basically saying keep adding value and you don't have to worry. The conversation doesn't end well as she still wants the "no matter what" commitment. I feel like there's space to turn this interaction more favourably, where she can get her feelz and I can get a nice blowjob. You could also try to m…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/23 01:02 AM
9

OYS 15 6'1 | 84 kg Did 3 lifting sessions on top of 4 CrossFit sessions last week. Im doing 3x5 with an AMRAP at the end like in GSLP, then most of the time take some weight off and do another AMRAP at a lighter weight. Bench, Front Squat and Back Squat. Been maintaining my once a week yoga class and stretching for 20+ minutes each day - making a huge difference. Played golf with a buddy once. So last week I had a minor breakthrough to get back to what was working - see my previous OYS if you’re…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 10:56 AM
1

The sex is what I was working on but was using the wrong tools. She is putting out but there’s still resistance on her part in this area - to give herself up completely. She’s not my slut. Dread alone is not enough. As I mentioned I was trying to overcome this using all the wrong tools. I need to work on being a man she can consistently depend on outside the bedroom before she is going to submit in it.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/23 01:19 AM
1

We then had a disagreement, details are long and not important but long story short, she said something and then another. I call her out on it and we are both stubborn. My mistake. I shouldn't had argued. Fixes nothing.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/23 12:10 AM
1

How is her laziness affecting you?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 08:01 PM
1

Is that because you enjoy the challenge or the need to continually progress or something else?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 07:59 PM
3

Woke up the next day, talked, and she said that she doesnt know who I am anymore, that I've changed, and she wants to change to, but im too overt with the changes. We fucked later in the day. Don't listen to the words. Actions are what count. If you want to stop the star fish have a plan on how to do it without acting butthurt. Progress isn't linear. ​ Assignment for next couple weeks: fuck without climax for about 3 weeks. Sounds shit. Hope that's not all your focusing on.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 08:17 AM
1

It was just a shit test which he dealt with then moved on and lead them to having a good night out. Assuming he likes his LTR, the loop of her wanting to spend time with him and expressing it isn't something to punish, especially when she's receptive to having a good time on the other side.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 06:12 AM
1

Cut out the porn and weed - you're not going to achieve anything while they are in your life. Looks like you know this but are trying to justify it and make excuses. I cannot tell if/when I’m being shit or comfort tested vs just talking. I believe shit tests are when she brings up a problem about you, comfort tests when she expresses a concern about her. Talking is when you're both making mouth noises without bringing up problems. You need to read the sidebar. if it's what I want, and I don't en…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 05:30 AM
2

Be an uplifting force for positive change WTF does this mean? You sound like a real uplifting force: I have found the negativity and shitty attitude unacceptable. I have communicated this to her to basically no effect. I can’t fix her attitude I can only fix myself. when 2 kids - toddler and baby Her hormones are still out of whack, when normal is probably bad enough and your kids have only just become "sleep trained". ​ meanwhile we get our food catered, have a cleaning person in every two week…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 05:16 AM
1

Why do you care about getting a valentines day present? I don't know many blokes that do and I don't think any of them care. If you want something go and buy it. Same goes with the goodnight kiss. It seems like you're hanging out waiting for your wife to show she cares. and obviously acting butthurt when she doesn't. "it's within your right" The correct answer was AM or AA or some cocky funny shit but at least you STFU. Need to kill the ego and covert contracts but you know that. You need to wor…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 05:03 AM
1

OYS 14 6’1 | 83 kgs | 13% Navy | 2 kids w/ wife of 9 years Dedicated BP, BS, FS sessions on top of 4/5 Crossfit sessions per week. Lifts progressing but still no superstar. Proper injured shoulder. Lots of pull ups and cleans to compensate for lack of overhead push. Look better than ever, aerobic capacity great. Just when I thought I had it all under control I got thrown a curve ball this week. I was dragged into a “conversation about our relationship” during which I was accused of cheating with…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/23 01:33 AM
2

What if you offered one or two clients a discounted price to be your guinea pig? That way you work out the kinks, get a use case, and maybe a reference. This is actually a fantastic idea. I can use a trial phase / introductory pricing as part of my pitch and it will take some of the pressure off needing to be perfect. To sell it as though I am expecting a few minor issues but they get a reduced initial fee period should work well and establish realistic expectations as I get going. With what I'm…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/23 01:25 AM
1

This OYS feels a bit long on words & feelings and short on actions. Yep, you're right. To be honest with a lot of this stuff, especially the relationship everything is running smoothly, so at this stage I'm just experimenting with minor things and feel I have the major stuff down. I don't always get it right, but when shit isn't working I can trace it back to the problem. My life is mostly consumed by my business, working out, spending time with the kids, looking after my health and recreation. …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 10:41 PM
1

Despite it not making sense, I compromised between actual reality and her contrived perception of reality. This is the fun part though right? Observing their perception of reality and being comfortable in your own.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 10:15 AM
1

OYS 13 Have turned another corner on the back of the appointment with my specialist after getting the mostly clear bill of health. I didn’t realise how much my anxiety had been weighing on me regarding some potentially scary possibilities that could explain my recent symptoms, mostly the potential of another tumour to deal with. The clarity has revealed to me that I had slipped into a victims mindset, feeling sorry for myself, weak and worried about having to take on another challenge in this ar…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 01:16 AM
2

https://thebiohacker.com/forums/forums/premature-ejaculation-forum.32/ Not sure if I'm allowed to link outside forums but this place was the best resource I could find when I went through it. I'm not sure if any of it actually helped in my case or it was just a chemical adjustment following some treatments I was going through, but I am cured. There's some wild shit on there though and some sad sacks, especially in the other areas of the forum.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 01:04 AM
1

It's nice to see you're already taking some action but I know more about your wife than I do about you. Are you following any workout/lifting programs? Do you have any goals for bodyweight composition or strength? Do you have any interests outside your wife? due to boxes taking over many of the rooms in the house. It was agreed when she started the company that it would stay in one room. This would drive me crazy. A cluttered environment leads to a cluttered mind. It looks like you have let your…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/23 10:34 AM
1

I have no issues with divorce as an option. Given FF's considered approach I am interested in his thoughts on the process. Firstly, I would want to be sure that I am top tier and can attract these younger and hotter girls. I would like to make sure I have my shit together to not fall into the same patterns that presumably led me down this path to begin with. Then, giving consideration to the values I am after, whatever they may be is the step a lot of guys stuff up. Personally, I would like to m…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/23 02:12 AM
1

Nope. Agnostic if it matters for context.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/23 07:06 AM
3

I had the same opinion. Since incorporating lifting into my life my surfing has improved. It is very hard to get your leg muscles going properly with body weight. Look at Italo’s training. You’re not likely to get too big for mobility unless you start also eating a shit load. I can also handle the bigger days easier with way better duck diving.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 10:44 PM
1

I was getting tight on money around the end of the week.That made me realize I'm more dependent on money, I already know the raise I'm getting, it's 9.5%, but, Im from a country that heavily taxes work, so, the real raise isn't yet known. Do you have a plan on how to get yourself above the level of living week to week (even if it's just January)? Especially when This house belongs to my wife. ​ I didn't talk about quitting cigarettes Good. Are you doing it for a pat on the back and more sex (Cov…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 05:33 AM
4

bailing because MRP is hard mode (and dooming myself to repeat the pattern)? Do you know why you're bailing exactly. What does your life look like after you're clear? How is it better, how is it worse? My wife is fundamentally selfish and lazy. Most women are. Is your plan to find another one who is the same and handling it better? Vetting better to find one who isn't now that you know what to look out for? Or to not get into a LTR so it doesn't matter? That's on me, but that doesn't mean I can'…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 05:22 AM
1

There's not much here to go on. Make sure the kids yours and you've sorted out any issues from the time spent seperate. That all has to be clear first. Going to also make an effort to go get a gym membership today so I can start lifting, I mountain bike 2-3 a week to get my workout in and now want to add atleast 2 days of lifting. This takes less than 30 minutes. Do it instead of talking about it for next time. I do carry shame that I'm currently on Lexapro because of my anxiety. I hope one day …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 04:20 AM
1

I find myself Deering and then I'm like WTF just happened from pleasant conversation to this. There's the lesson right there. You'll make mistakes with this but slowly progress as you notice it, analyse where you went wrong and stop making that mistake. DEERing is hard to stamp out. She makes a route suggestion. I say this is the way that I'm going. Why even reply? It's a form of DEERing. Either don't say anything or say "thanks for the suggestion" or something more fun/teasing. I will make some…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 04:17 AM
2

I arranged a trip for my wife and I to get away Best case, that includes lots of sex. Worst case, I'll do a lot of skiing and reading. Be careful there isn't a covert contract here.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/23 01:09 AM
1

This is useful for me, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/23 08:48 PM
2

You got a lot of she's in your post. Yep, you're right. I recognised this as I was writing and rationalised it as just trying to understand her reaction. keeping your phone away when you're with your kids I discovered this and mentioned in a recent OYS, that I enjoy myself more with my kids when I give myself space to enter their world and block out the outside noise. I think it has been valuable and could be to others. Prior to this I was getting frustrated and bored/distracted spending time wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/23 02:22 AM
2

This is great material and should be a main post.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/23 02:10 AM
1

Instead, do some preventative maintenance on yourself to get to a point where you dont have to worry about holes on your ship I'm not sure how to go about this if I'm honest. There are two major sources of my anxiety here. The first and most prevalent is related to my health - due to the treatments I have had at some point I may experience some pretty serious side effects. As a result I am hyper vigilant about identifying new symptoms and interpreting anything as an indication of a major issue. …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/23 02:08 AM
1

if things are mobile and pain free after warning up, I would think there's something wrong with the supporting muscles and tendons. I would guess high reps which will wear out the main muscle and direct the last few reps directly at those support structures would wreck them from too much strain. Id go same weight, slow movements I know bugger all about this stuff. This echos the thoughts of a trainer at the gym who thinks it may be a result of disproportionate development in my upper body, which…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/23 02:17 AM
1

OYS 12 Been about a month since I wrote my last OYS. Things are mostly travelling well and continuing to improve, though I have a few hangups. Just after Christmas I got Vertigo pretty bad which really got me worried given the history of radiation in my skull. I got a bit of anxiety over the fear of the lack of balance becoming “the new normal” for me. This put me in a shitty mood and made me pretty useless during what would have been an otherwise exciting time. Figured out I had COVID just afte…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/23 04:43 AM
3

I’m curious on how you give praise. Sometimes when I give praise i think I come off as a puppy school teacher trying to condition a dog through conditioning. Cuddles seem to work best but sometimes we don’t have time and I want to give that reward.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/23 03:42 AM
4

There isn't a huge gap in the difference between this sort of thing and the every unhappy wife is a rape victim post. This "authentic desire" thing (or the perception of) that everyone wants seems to be tough to work out. Sometimes my wife puts out to keep me happy, requiring me to lead her into "enjoyment/immersion/orgasm" (sometimes I don't get her there) other times she's super into it from the start - this can be within the same week. I've worked out that it doesn't really matter that much. …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/22 01:36 AM
2

OYS 11 Mid 30s | 6'1 ~81 kgs | Married 9 Y | 2 Kids | Not Fat Writing an update to avoid doing course work, its bloody boring. Been CF'ing 4-6 times a week consistently. Finally went to the physio for my shoulder issue the other day and it's buggered. Something about the nerves shooting off and degenerating my muscles. I don't really understand it all but I should be able to sort it out by Easter. In the meantime I'm doing whatever I can that doesn't cause pain, which means going light on the LH…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/22 01:57 AM
32

What about the other neighbour who spends all night "recognising why" the fridge is empty and crafting the perfect list of steps he has to take to fill the fridge. Leaving it at that he feels satisfied the work is done and the problem is solved.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 12:35 AM
1

While you’re down you’re better off being upfront and telling your wife in a matter of fact way “hey I’ve got depression, I’m going through a bit of a down phase and I might be a bit useless over the next few days but I’m working to pull myself out of it.” Something like that. You can let them know. You can even ask them for practical help. Own it and be overt. Try not to be emotionally needy or have any covert contracts expecting them to do anything for you without asking. Don’t make it her job…
/r/askMRP02/11/22 08:07 PM
1

It's double pluggers or nothing where I came from.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/22 10:35 PM
2

You might need some professional help, perhaps see a psychiatrist if possible. Some short term intervention may get you through the rut. Another possibility is to look for a new passion/hobby/challenge to inspire you and bring some energy into your life. It's super hard to get started with something like this when you're down but if you can manage to find something it might help.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/22 10:34 PM
1

The other biggest breakthrough recently was the application of WISNIFG, especially in stopping DEERing. I'm not interested in arguments, trying to prove myself right or getting people to understand my logic. So long as I understand what I'm doing and why that's all that matters. I refuse to offer justifications or explanations, even if they are perfectly reasonable. I have realised in my relationship that no matter how clearly "right" I am my wife will always find a way for me to be wrong and tr…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/22 10:26 PM
1

OYS 10 Mid 30s | 6’1” ~80kg | Married 9Y | 2 Kids (6 & 2) | 14-15% Navy. Haven't posted in a while. Things have been going pretty nicely so haven't felt the need. Too much hanging around here after some point was just keeping me in my head too much with a tendency to measure "my progress" against others or to identify in other's issues. For me, the consumption of the material here has given me a greater understanding of the how and why things work in my relationships and life. This has allowed m…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/22 10:26 PM
1

You’re off to a decent start. Keep reading. Keep STFU, don’t talk about your feelings or any of this shit. Go and start lifting - it will get you out of the house as well. If you don’t have a side hobby find something or start trying shit. Work at becoming better at everything and take the focus away from your wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/22 04:34 AM
2

What’s the end goal? Or are you just going to persevere in this relationship as it is?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/22 10:00 PM
3

My reply wasn't specific to your situation. I know that in many heavily religious societies they put things down to "god's will" and stop believing their inputs have any affect on their lives . This is dangerous thinking in my opinion. Your situation is an interesting one. I hope that one day you come back to look at your initial OYS while either enjoying other fruits of a successful divorce or while getting action from a few hot 20 somethings on the side having used the time you bought with thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/22 05:24 AM
3

I’m no expert on the philosophy of stoicism but if you recognise you can’t control a woman you need to recognise that you can control a bunch of other things including whether you choose to stay in their company.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/22 04:41 AM
21

You could be in a car accident tomorrow. By the time you’re 50 there could be a cure. You have 20+ years until you need to worry about all that and at least you will get good times and a chance to spend quality time with your family now. I was diagnosed with skull cancer last year. It was a shock and I was prepared to die before my kids would be old enough to remember me. After surgery and radiation it’s not going to be that bad. I might have 2 years, I might have 10, the radiation might have cu…
/r/askMRP15/09/22 04:35 AM
1

OYS 10 Mid 30s | 6'1 78kg 15%BF | 2 Kids | Married 9Y Been audio booking WISNIFG. Read the sidebar and some other stuff. Been lifting, maintaining steady progress according to program. The injuries I was whinging about in my last OYS have mostly healed. Overall things have been mostly good since my last OYS. I slipped up last week acting butthurt over something trivial, opening my mouth about it and then trying to DEER my way out of it. As these things always go it was a disaster. Eventually I S…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/22 01:12 AM
3

STFU stop talking about anything to do with sex for 3 months. Stop being needy.
/r/askMRP28/08/22 01:28 AM
4

I think I just fully grasped the concept of abundance mentality.
/r/askMRP27/08/22 06:56 AM
1

With stuff like the laundry you have to take leadership if it’s bothering you. Nagging and becoming a harpy won’t likely work. You can delegate the task to her but then she is responsible for how it is done (overtly). You can do just your own washing of your own clothes for yourself if smelling like mildew bothers you. Or you can take over the entire task and be responsible for how it is done. Do it properly yourself to your standards without being passive aggressive or looking for validation. I…
/r/askMRP25/08/22 08:44 AM
1

I want to take the easy option and stay in my comfort zone. It’s in my nature. I need to challenge myself more and live on the edge to get where I need to, even if it’s tough.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/22 04:31 AM
1

Yep. The value of the mission is keeping these priorities in order, even when it’s hard.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/22 04:29 AM
1

She was fantasising about that real man she’s going to be fucking in January. Could be you. Doesn’t matter.
/r/askMRP25/08/22 04:21 AM
1

Geez this is a rabbit hole for me. By denying what one really wants they are working against themselves. This makes sense. But what if I don’t like what I want and would like to change that? What if I want to change my wants? Or should we all just follow our nature (as it is now)? This is all probably why I can’t pinpoint exactly what I want.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/22 07:44 AM
4

Are you hoping to save the relationship? If you improve yourself and your wife starts to value you what then? Does it matter?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/22 06:24 AM
1

Nothing major really just keep plugging along. Continue to work out and get stronger. Things are settling nicely and continue to improve as everyone relaxes into the new normal. I don’t see the need to try anything major. I would like to work on my ability to bring a variety of emotional experiences sexually but I’m a bit lost to be honest. One thing I am hoping to get my first post surgery surf in hopefully tomorrow if there’s swell. It will be the test of whether I can surf in the future or no…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/22 07:35 AM
1

This post came at a good time for me, thanks. As mentioned in my OYS I have been enjoying sex when I am bringing the emotion to the table but I struggle to do it consistently. I don't know if its laziness, the overall vibes, my lack of imagination or not wanting to play the same card repeatedly risking spoiling it (lack of Variety). ​ Try, for once, having sex without expectations. FWIW I have been doing this for the past few months to great success. I don't talk about sex, rehash what happened …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/22 02:30 AM
4

OYS 9 Mid 30s | 6’1” ~78kg | Married 9Y | 2 Kids (6 & 2) | 14-17% Navy. Read: Sidebar x2, lots of posts, NMMG, Pook (audio), WOTSM (audio), SGM. Reading: WISNIFG (audio) , The unchained man (audio on hold) GSLP x2 | CrossFit x2 | Surf x0 | Yoga x0 | Golf x2 This weeks results: Back Squat 95kg Deadlift 131kg BP 7x54kg OHP 55kg Did an extra CF session as it was testing week. Fighting crook shoulder, sore wrist and tweaked what I think is my ITB. These held me back, especially in my squat depth and…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/22 11:35 AM
8

Yep. She likely feels responsible for him like he’s a child she has to look after and fuck. Maybe she holds out hope that one day he will get it, maybe even because he has the potential. Time to grow up and become a man. Work out what that looks like and then start working towards it. Don’t be a needy child while you do it.
/r/askMRP05/08/22 03:40 AM
3

You need to find your frame and part of that is establishing self respect. I don't see how you can do that while with a woman you know is or has cheated on you. Unless you've explored the situation, accepted it and have formulated a plan which makes sense to stay in the relationship for the short term for a better outcome for yourself. Then I'd say you would probably be disconnecting from the wife anyway and using her for some benefit while you're out working towards spinning plates or a good di…
/r/askMRP02/08/22 03:18 AM
2

Thanks you've certainly got me thinking about feelings of guilt. Sometimes I certainly fall into the guilt trap imposed on me by societal norms or the opinions of others. An example of this recently occurred when we were applying for finance and the broker made comments on discretionary spending. Sometimes though in other cases I think it's useful to hold myself to high standards and being disappointed/feeling guilty when I don't reach/maintain them. That said, the negativity it brings into my l…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/22 02:39 AM
4

I keep forgetting that the tagline of this place is based on sexual strategies for men, it's a nice way to pull them in with the old bait and switch to self improvement. For those that end up getting it anyway. Ironically I think if sex is the focus for someone then it is going to become the hardest element to improve. It also brings out the dancing monkeys who depend on the actions of another to get what they think that want. The point reiterated by most of the guys who successfully get to a ce…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/22 01:40 AM
1

OYS 8 Mid 30s | 6’1” ~76kg | Married 9Y | 2 Kids (6 & 2) | 14-17% Navy. Read: Sidebar x2, lots of posts, NMMG, Pook (audio), WOTSM (audio). Reading: WISNIFG (audio) , The unchained man (audio on hold) This weeks results: GSLP x3 | CrossFit x1 | Surf x0 | Yoga x0 | Golf x1 Back Squat 6x75kg Front Squat 8x60kg Deadlift 10x70kg BP 5x50kg* OHP 8x30kg* ​ Started GSLP. Been enjoying it so far but have hurt my wrist/forearm which is impacting my OHP and BP. If I keep it straight I can do them with some…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/22 04:21 AM
2

What are the 4 stretches?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/22 09:32 PM
1

OYS 7 Mid 30s | 6’1” ~78kg | Married 9Y | 2 Kids (6 & 2) | 14-17% Navy. Read: Sidebar x2, lots of posts, NMMG, Pook (audio), WOTSM (audio). Reading: WISNIFG (audio) , The unchained man (audio on hold) Stats/Goal stuff CrossFit x4 | Surf x0 | Yoga x0 | Golf x0 This weeks results: Back Squat - 2x90kg, 5x80kg OHP 2x55kg Deadlift 4x100kg, 2x115 Still have a minor infection but have been able to get to the gym and show up. Had a weights testing day which was pretty useful as I’m trying to play my tra…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/22 02:45 AM
1

I recommend looking into managing personality disorders if that has been diagnosed. It’s a battle but with the right tools it can be got on top of. Not a doctor so don’t take my advice, seek out a good psychiatrist.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/22 05:44 AM
1

Is the last set still an AMRAP just at lower weight?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/22 04:42 AM
1

Thanks for the reply. That thread has a tonne of information - very useful. At this stage it may as well be written in another language but I'll get there with it. Just wondering how long each session takes (including the accessory/homework stuff) at the gym once you start? Can I get in and out in an hour and knock it all out properly?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/22 09:49 PM
3

OYS 6 Mid 30s | 6’1” ~78kg | Married 9Y | 2 Kids (6 & 2) | 14-17% Navy. Read: Sidebar x2, lots of posts, NMMG, Pook (audio), WOTSM (audio). Reading: WISNIFG, The unchained man (audio) Stats/Goal stuff CrossFit x2 | Surf x0 | Yoga x0 | Golf x1 This weeks results: Got proper crook after my last OYS with an infection from the surgery along with a sinus issue. Both may have been linked. Was pretty painful and left me out of action for a period. So not much to report on. Started attending the gym aga…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/22 08:55 PM
3

"I'm a needy baby who was entitled to something because we had a fun day. I don't care if she hit a wall, it's MINE and I've EARNED IT because I'm the MAN!" I had a realisation a few weeks ago that I was feeling entitled because of the changes I was making and the successful reports I had read from others on these forums. I have taken a similar approach to you in terms of mental adjustments. I realised that I hadn't put in the time to establish these mental adjustments as consistent over a perio…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/22 08:48 PM
2

Righto. I'll see what all the fuss is about, people are certainly getting something from lifting. I'll look around for a gym next week when we return from holidays. doing shit ON YOUR OWN is the quintessential part of lifting you don't understand. It's required work for here. You lift. And you STFU. And you LIFT. STFU. And in that loneliness you'll grind your own skin (and ego) to the bone. Alone. And you learn what that feels like. Where YOU are the only one who can celebrate your wins. This is…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/22 10:51 PM
1

Safety Bars are exactly the answer, thanks. The gym I go to is 180m from my front door and scheduling wise it locks me in twice per week (Mon+Thurs plus Saturday if I want to go in the morning) without making some sacrifices elsewhere. I like that I'm told what to do and how to do it, I push myself hard and am making social/business connections. So I do want to keep it for now. That said I'm not one of those cultists and have no experience with anything else non-sports. They release the workout …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/22 01:57 AM
2

Thanks I’ll take a look.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/22 09:09 PM
1

Yep I have no idea. Never set foot in a gym until this year. I’m getting some results from CrossFit in terms of appearance and strength. My numbers are improving but the variety in movements probably makes it hard to track properly compared to purely lifting. Since my first OYS I have been adding in some strength based accessories but I am especially nervous about benching by myself alone and to a lesser extent back squats from fear of injury. I think I need to figure out how to fail reps safely…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/22 08:52 PM
1

OYS 5 Mid 30s | 6’1” ~78kg | Married 9Y | 2 Kids (6 & 2) | 14-17% Navy. Read: Sidebar x2, lots of posts, NMMG, Pook (audio), WOTSM (audio). Reading: WISNIFG, The unchained man (audio) Stats/Goal stuff CrossFit x2 | Surf x0 | Yoga x0 | Stretching x2 | Golf x2 This weeks results: Nothing worth reporting. Had a minor surgery and then got the flu which made it pretty tough to go hard at the gym on the sessions I attended. What’s going right I showed up despite feeling crook to the gym over the last …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/22 11:19 AM
2

Get that shit sorted and get to the bottom of it. I was getting feinting like symptoms for years and no one could work it out so I just left it. GPS are useless most of the time so ask to be referred to someone who knows their shit. As others have said it could be anything. I was lucky they found the cause for me by a fluke before it was too late.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/22 10:37 AM
1

Yep this is something I’ve become aware of since coming here and makes complete sense. I’m working on getting out of the SAHD position but am trying to cover all these bases in the meantime perhaps with the exception of 2 as my kids aren’t at the age of much organised stuff yet. That said I can explore this and see if there’s an opportunity somewhere outside my household. This is also why I am striving to improve myself as a parent and struggling to sort out my frustration issues with the kids. …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/22 03:52 AM
1

This post and subsequent conversation was linked at the right time for me. Exactly what I’m working through at the moment. Don’t know if the exploration of this is a post but it should be one. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/22 03:59 AM
1

OYS 4 Mid 30s | 6’1” ~78kg | Married 9Y | 2 Kids (6 & 2) | 14-17% Navy. Read: Sidebar x2, lots of posts, NMMG, Pook (audio), WOTSM (audio). Reading: WISNIFG, The unchained man (audio) CrossFit x5 | Surf x1 | Yoga x1 | Stretching x1 | Golf x2 This weeks results: bench press 1x75 (disappointed my left shoulder wouldn’t cooperate) Clean and jerk 70kg What’s going right My body continues to improve and I look good, especially as I have been more mindful of unnecessary carbs and sugar. I am still per…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/22 09:05 PM
1

OYS 3 Stats: Mid 30s | 6’1” ~78kg | Married 9Y | 2 Kids (6 & 2) | 14-17% Navy. Fitness: Crossfit x9 | Stretching x4 | Yoga x2 | Surf x2 [was banned last week]This weeks results: Back Squat 6x90 | OHP 1x58 | DL 1x125Newbie gains phase still. Progressing pretty sharply as I gain confidence in lifting technique. Did a bunch of heavy cardio workouts that I went well at. Have started adding some accessories focused on weights when the workout doesn’t smash me. Have made an effort to incorporate more …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/22 02:52 AM
1

OYS 2 Stats: Mid 30s | 6’1” ~78kg | Married 9Y | 2 Kids (6 & 2) Fitness: Crossfit x5 | Stretching x4 This weeks results:Front Squat Complex: 73kgPower Snatch: 57kgPower Clean: 70kgLunge: 8x50kgI’m still in the newbie gains territory here. I looked into lifting programs to run alongside Crossfit after RPeed’s comments last week. I expect at some stage I will plateau and when it happens I’ll either try out a lifting program to see what happens or alternate between the two. I have no idea about any…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/22 08:57 PM
1

runs a lifting program in parallel. I'm not that familiar with Crossfit other than the gym I go to, but the program we use generally has a weightlifting piece each workout. I'm not sure if this is enough and I'm certainly open to some additional lifting, especially on days where there is none programmed. being a better beta. Yep, this is the balance that's hard to strike. Sometimes her mess annoys me so I deal with it for me, but if it doesn't I try and leave it until she works it out. you are t…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/22 03:59 AM
1

OYS 1 Stats: Mid 30s | 6’1” ~78kg | Married 9Y | 2 Kids (6 & 2) Background: Lazy/Drunk Captain. Wife earns significantly higher income -> became SAHD. Resentment grew in marriage. My mission was surfing, kids and leisure. Found out I had cancer -> realisation I was wasting my life and my marriage was in trouble. Wife was good during this time -> regained appreciation, overcorrected and developed Oneitis. Poor health killed my self confidence and amplified the importance of sex (for validation) -…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/22 06:00 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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