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TonyTheRed Archive

View 2 posts and 134 comments by TonyTheRed on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

TonyTheRed/r/askMRP23/10/18 09:13 PM
0

TonyTheRed/r/askMRP20/05/18 06:37 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Thanks. Going to stick to the game plan.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/19 09:29 PM
1

I need a mission. For me. I’m not convinced that finding a mission will magically make her put the phone down. Anyhow, I’m not doing any of this to change her behaviour. I’m doing it for me. We shall see if she comes along for the ride or gets left behind.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/19 02:36 PM
1

OYS #14 Me: 41 Wife: 42 Kids: 6 yo boy, 4 yo girl Married 7 years, together for 12 Stats: 5’8, 149 lbs 10ish bf% An alcoholic Bench Press 140x10 3 sets Seated DB Overhead Press 47.5lbX10 3 Sets Chin Ups Weighted 10lbs 3 sets Haven’t been making much MRP progress the last month. I’m more or less just maintaining the status quo. I don’t feel too bad about this, because I’m still hitting the gym, I dress well, my hygiene is on point, I’m at 10% bf with six pack, I’m disciplined about diet, making t…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/19 01:54 PM
1

Do you have a link to this program? Or is it a program you made for yourself?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/19 02:53 PM
3

Sounds like Pavel Tsatsoulin’s « Greasing the Groove » technique. www.artofmanliness.com/articles/get-stronger-by-greasing-the-groove/
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/19 02:50 PM
1

I’ve still got the training wheels on when it comes to this kind of shit. I need to suck it in and pretend to actually give a fuck every now when she talks to me about random tragedies. Let her have her feels and move on.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/19 06:23 PM
1

Good advice I like it. I used to be the guy who would apologize because I couldn’t stand to have her mad at me. Since finding this sub though I haven’t been apologizing, and this has led to drawn out multi day periods where she freezes me out. She eventually tells me she stayed mad because I didn’t apologize. As per your advice in a previous OYS, I now try to take a leadership role and attempt to lead her out of these “moods”, but she can be really stubborn.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/19 12:15 AM
1

Ya you're right that flew right over my head. I tested it out a little while ago and told her "You know that if anything happened to you or the kids, I'd be devastated right? There's a difference between some random stranger and people that are close to me." She refuses to listen to reason of course, and literally says to me "no, when I die you are going to say <when it's your time it's your time." She remains upset. ​ Thanks for the insight, that's what I come here for. I'll have to remember th…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/19 10:54 PM
1

OYS #13 Me: 41 Wife: 42 Kids: 6 yo boy, 4 yo girl Married 7 years, together for 12 Stats: 5’8, 150 lbs 11ish bf% An alcoholic After cutting for a couple months, I am finally back to bulking. I am on a beginner linear progression program for the next few months to get my strength up. I am pretty slim now and feel pretty damn good. My six pack is visible. All I need now is to pack on the muscle. I don't want to make the mistake I made last bulk and put on weight too fast. I am at 2300 calories dai…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/19 07:00 PM
1

Glad you got it under control. I know how tough it is.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/19 02:36 PM
2

High quality post. These are definitely lessons we should all ponder.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/19 01:40 PM
2

I hear you dude. I always convince myself that I can moderate myself, but I never can. Not drinking is the only option. For me.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/19 01:19 PM
1

This post is just a reflection on my disappointment in myself, and a milestone marker to look back on. As well as a reminder as to what happens when I drink. A few days later I’m in a much better place mentally and getting my shit back on track.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/19 01:17 PM
1

OYS #12 Me: 41 Wife: 42 Kids: 6 yo boy, 4 yo girl Married 7 years, together for 12 Stats: 5’8, 153 lbs 12ish bf% An alcoholic Haven’t posted in a few weeks. Basically took a break from MRP and fell back into some old bad habits. First of all, went away with family and some friends for a weeklong vacation. Was planning to go alcohol free but couldn’t resist the temptation. Drank every night. Got into some bad fights with wife. I engaged. I acted unattractively. Started thinking about divorce as t…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/19 02:25 AM
1

I second this. Fasting is the simplest idiotproof way to lose weight. I’ve fooled around with counting my calories for a while and although it works, it’s a pain in the ass. I prefer to fast for 24 hours a few times a week. Good for mental discipline, good for your health, and on the days you don’t fast you eat like normal, so you don’t feel like you’re depriving yourself EVERY day.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/19 12:49 PM
1

OYS #11 ​ Me: 41 Wife: 42 Kids: 6 yo boy, 4 yo girl Married 7 years, together for 12 Stats: 5’8, 153 lbs 12ish bf% A recovering alcoholic ​ Yes I’m lifting. Currently on a cut, aiming to lose another 5-6 pounds. ​ Haven’t had a drink in 31 days. Have had a few temptations but managed to move past them. This is the longest I’ve gone without a drink in 21 years. ​ Got wife a gift card at Victoria’s Secret for Valentine’s day and a couple chocolates. We’ve had an arrangement where we don’t get each…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/19 02:58 PM
1

Good question. Not much. Other than generally acting less like a bitch, improving physically and leading more, I am still slowly working on the desire part. I’ve tried adding a little kino here and there and some flirting, but my wife can see me coming a mile away. She equates these things with me wanting sex. She is also pretty unreceptive. Any tips or resources to share?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/19 10:51 PM
1

can you make her laugh during sex? I’ve thought about this, and it’s a great idea. I think laughter should definitely be part of sex at times. I’d love for our lovemaking to be light hearted and fun. I have a feeling that there isn’t anything I can do in the sack right now or the near future that will improve make her enjoy sex more. I’m still going to try though and give it an honest shot, but I think her attraction for me, if anything, will be rekindled outside the bedroom ( through increased …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/19 04:59 AM
1

Right now I would settle for her just being aroused with me.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/19 02:00 AM
1

What’s funny is that if I were to become single tomorrow, and started banging some new women, I think I’d have a lot more success implementing DEVI. Having an unenthusiastic wife who just wants to get it over with makes for a frustrating process to say the least.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/19 11:57 PM
2

Have you tried fucking the bitchiness outta her Actually yes. I spoke about this in my post. Picked her up and told her enough is enough, let’s fuck. She didn’t go for it. Another thing to consider here is if that's the "kind of person" you wanna stick your dick in in the first place. That shit can be a real desire killer. I hear you man. I have to admit that I entered this marriage in blue pill mode and chose the first hot girl willing to marry me. She isn’t a terrible person by any means, but …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/19 11:49 PM
1

Once again some great advice here. ​ My attempts at emotion were completely inauthentic and impersonal. I kind of followed some lines I read in the SGM and instead of coming up with my own. But you know what? I don't think there's any harm done here, and in a way its a victory for me. I knew that calling her a "naughty little girl" would elicit a negative reaction from her, and I pushed myself to say it knowing this because I was scared. Gives me confidence. ​ However, you're correct that I need…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/19 02:59 PM
2

Also - I can feel the lack of congruence just reading this. ​ I cringe when I re-read the part about sex. I completely agree with you that I lack congruence. Hopefully this is one of those posts where year from now I can look back on and see how far I've come. ​ Thoughts on the actual situation - "Truth is when you're acting like a cunt, I don't like you much either. Either you want to deal with it, or you don't. But that's on you. I know what I prefer. BUT, if you want me to help, I'm more than…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/19 02:50 PM
1

Alright the damn thing is going back. Next time we're at the mall I'll give her my credit card and send her on a mission to pick something nice and sexy for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/19 02:25 PM
1

Interesting. I didn’t see it as being a beta move. I don’t have any covert contracts regarding the lingerie. I was approaching this more from a leadership point of view. Our sex life is vanilla as fuck and this was my way of adding a little variety ( as per SGM ), and also some dominance ( telling her at some point something like “i want you in our bed in 15 mins wearing your outfit”. At this point in our relationship I don’t see my wife going out on her own to buy some; she is as uninterested i…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/19 08:40 PM
3

OYS #10 Me: 40 Wife: 42 Kids: 6 yo boy, 4 yo girl Married 7 years, together for 12 Stats: 5’8, 154 lbs 13ish bf% A recovering alcoholic Been two weeks since my last OYS. My focus lately has been just focusing on the basics. Passing shit tests, working on being in my frame, resetting every day, etc. Been on a pretty deep cut, looking to get down to 10% body fat, before slowly bulking again. Losing two lbs per week on average. Doing 24 hours fasts a few times a week. Should be where I want to be i…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/19 03:06 PM
1

all the other things you mentioned you are responsible for are things that in her eyes you should be doing anyway. You don't get extra points for them, she sees that as the baseline. She’s never been put in a position where she had to step up and steer the ship so ya for her it’s the baseline. You’re probably correct that having the talk is a bad idea. Would come off as me asking for her permission to be the leader as opposed to it happening organically.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/19 02:24 PM
1

Do you mean that eventually it’s a good idea to overtly discuss the dynamic ie captain/FO? I remember reading a post about this. At this point I’m trying to build a bit of momentum MRP so not ready for the talk yet, but eventually I think it may be beneficial. Currently my wife thinks we’re equals in our marriage. But in reality I manage pretty much everything of import, mostly things she has no clue about ( ie investments, retirement planning, car maintenance, dental appointments, insurance, gr…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/19 01:37 PM
1

I learned years ago that she really does not want to be anywhere near responsibility, but she definitely wants to feel like she is at least involved in the decision making. I think this is my wife as well. She is fine living in her little world doing her little thing. Like you stated I think she wants to FEEL like she’s involved, and that’s probably why I’m getting some pushback when I don’t consult her. But ultimately I think she’d rather I make the big decisions.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/19 01:28 PM
1

The question will inevitably come up. Knowing my wife she’ll ask me if I’ve read a book or something.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/19 01:23 PM
1

Thanks for writing! Great stuff. I’ve already become more assertive the last couple months by not asking for sex anymore, but instead confidently telling her I want to fuck. Same thing while in the sack, I’ve been been directing her and telling her what to do next, albeit with little variety. I’m relieved to here that the hair pulling and ass slapping is not the starting point. They are something I’d like to build up to eventually for when she’s really riled up. For now I’ll focus on slowly addi…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/19 01:21 PM
1

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I’d love if my wife responded positively. I’ll start slow and see what happens.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/19 05:22 PM
1

Right now, no. Plan is just not to drink. Not interested in AA. Also considering Naltrexone if I really need it. Have you struggled with booze as well?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/19 05:21 PM
1

I think you’re on point here. That all makes sense to me and I agree.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/19 05:19 PM
1

By using it as ammunition , I mean she shit tests me about making decisions without consulting her. Is it not in a woman’s nature to do so?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/19 05:04 PM
1

Ok thanks much better. I think I actually replied to her “I’m an adult, I don’t need your permission, I can make decisions on my own,” to which she replied, “you wouldn’t want me to make big decisions like that without consulting you first right” to which I didn’t know what to say. You may be right that she is trying to remind me who’s boss, or put her beta in his place for trying to make decisions. I think if I asked her if I need permission she would say “no but you have to consult me.” Which …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/19 01:26 AM
1

What I do know is that what I’ve been doing hasn’t been working for years. Time to go out out of my comfort zone and try some new things. Gonna ease into slowly and have some fun with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/19 01:07 AM
1

Hey man I’m sure there’s a great message in there but for some reason, I can’t make it out, and I’ve read it ten times. Do you think you could paraphrase it?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/19 01:01 AM
3

OYS #9 Me: 41 Wife: 42 Kids: 6 yo boy, 4 yo girl Married 7 years, together for 12 Stats: 5’8, 160 lbs 16ish bf% A recovering alcoholic Physical This is the one area I feel has been going well the past 2 weeks. Currently on a cut, hoping to get down to around 10% bf. Then slow bulk. Emotional/Relationship The last two weeks have been a train wreck for me. My intention was to really focus on getting the basics right. Recognize and react appropriately to shit tests. Lead the family. Get shit done. …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/19 03:29 PM
1

My kids argue about who will get to press the red button to end the call.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/19 06:50 PM
3

Framing it as "me putting up with bad sex" means that you are the follower in bed, not the leader you should be. That's why your sex is bad. Yup I have lacked leadership in this area. Going to work on that. I havent read the SGM yet It's the next book I will read Stop being afraid to act without "signals" and validation from your wife. Your need for that shit is why she's not attracted to you, you know. I'm overcoming this mental obstacle in other areas of my life in just not giving a fuck what …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/19 02:44 PM
1

Which part of my post makes you think I’m seeking validation? I’m genuinely curious. I think in the past I may have done this, and may still be doing it but I’m having a hard time seeing it myself. I’ve read all of MiTWs recent series of posts on sex. And I need to reread them.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/19 07:21 PM
3

OYS #8 Me: 41 Wife: 42 Kids: 6 yo boy, 4 yo girl Married 7 years, together for 12 Stats: 5’8, 162 lbs 18ish A recovering alcoholic Back after 3 weeks or so of not posting anything. Was banned for two weeks and rightfully so for acting like a bitch and for pity seeking behaviour. My apologies to those who spent their precious time reading and replying to my cringe worthy posts; 2019 is a new year and I intend to make some real progress this year. Lifting is going well. Only missed one workout ove…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/19 05:43 PM
2

I think I made it pretty clear how disappointed in myself I am. No need to keep kicking me while I’m down. I know I fucked up.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/18 01:35 PM
1

I’ve read that post before and I understand the message. You’ve rammed that message into my head. What I meant about point 4 was not that I felt guilty about it or that I was doing something I knew was wrong. To the contrary I was going into those lessons with the genuine desire to just challenge myself, get out of my comfort zone with people and socialize, flirt with some women perhaps and just have fun. Checked all the boxes for me. Was trying to make some steps towards reestablishing a social…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/18 02:41 AM
1

please, you were scared to have the conversation. Ya spot on in retrospect she sees through this weasel communication; and that's the part that disgust her not you dancing with other women. I think you’re right here as well. If I had taken a more direct approach things may have played out differently. stop hiding and start leading I’m trying man. Gonna keep trying. But I’m finding this shit tougher than I thought it would be. Hopefully one day it will fucking click for me. Thanks for taking time…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/18 07:15 PM
1

Points 1 and 4 are pretty much on the ball. I think I knew inside that if I brought it up, she wouldn’t agree/try to convince me not to and I wouldn’t be able to defend my decision because of point 4. Man, I’m feeling lost in this process. I don’t know where to fucking focus my efforts.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/18 07:05 PM
1

Interesting. Thanks for sharing. Going to have to let this blow over for now, but if I still have an interest in the future might broach the subject again. There is no way we could do lessons together for logistical reasons ( babysitter ) for now. When I get my confidence back and get my head straight I’ll have a better chance of pulling this off.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/18 03:41 PM
1

Salsa lessons were probably a poor choice of hobby. Too much dread too soon. Didn’t tell her. Didn’t hide it, but didn’t consult, which still made it seem like I was trying to hide it. I don’t think I had a choice but to back down. Don’t think she was manipulating but rather was purely disgusted/surprised/confused. I put myself in a situation where I couldn’t win. Very bad decisions on my part, but need to learn from this and move forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/18 02:37 PM
1

That would make sense.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/18 02:32 PM
1

Ya, I unintentionally went with active dread I guess. Like I said poor decision in my part. Wasn’t trying to prove anything though.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/18 02:30 PM
1

I didn’t hide the lessons per se. Just didn’t consult her first. I put them in the family agenda knowing she would find out. I honestly underestimated her reaction. That’s what I meant about making bad decisions sometimes. I do want to take salsa classes and I definitely would if I was single. I wasn’t doing it with the intention of meeting women necessarily, although it would have been an opportunity to socialize and practice flirting a little. What would i do differently? Pick a different hobb…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/18 02:26 PM
1

Fucking isn’t the problem. We fuck plenty. I just know that I could be more attractive, and I don’t like the bitch that I am. I want better sex, but I don’t deserve it the way I’m acting. Working to unfuck myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/18 02:22 PM
2

OYS #7 2018-12-11 Sorry about formatting don’t know how to fix this on mobile Physical Nothing to report here. Getting stronger, slowly but surely. Relationship The last two weeks were a fucking disaster. Feels like I wiped out months of MRP progress. I feel like I am beginning to actually understand I need to do now after almost awhat year of lurking and now a few months of owning my shit. But my frame is still shit. And I make bad fucking decisions. I feel like a fuck up. I thought about not p…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/18 12:40 PM
1

I’m in Canada, and my doctor refused to even test my T levels. I’d love to get tested but I haven’t found any clinics in my area.
/r/askMRP07/12/18 06:12 PM
1

I’ve also got the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck on my nightstand. I’ve been giving too many of those lately.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/18 11:58 PM
2

Awesome man. Really grateful for your insight.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/18 11:53 PM
1

Work on killing your ego. Not sure how to actually do this. Is this where stoicism comes in? I’ve been meaning to read a couple books about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/18 11:44 PM
1

She got what she wanted: an admission that you were wrong. That's why you got the silent treatment. Lesson learned. Ignore it next time and play your nice card instead, every day, until she breaks. Damn right. I fucked up. Definitely lesson learned. I am aware of my difficulty with resetting each day. Even though I know I need to sometimes I can’t. Will have to work on this. Thanks for pointing out my failure to lead; I hadn’t seen this as a lack of leadership but it clearly was. This is the mot…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/18 10:17 PM
1

Ya that was a short lived experiment that led to me not having sex last night. Lesson learned.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/18 06:43 PM
2

Sorry to hear about your father in law; hope he pulls through ok. ​ One thing I am cognoscente of is when I have amazing sex, I want more amazing sex. I am not sure what to make of that. Seems like a logical thing but a lot of it is sex drive but part of me thinks its some weird internal validation ​ I'm the same way when I get sex frequently. I want more. I think you're right when you say it's probably about validation. I'm struggling with separating sex with validation myself. You got a taste …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/18 06:07 PM
1

OYS #5 2018 12 04 40 yo 5’8 158 lbs 15%ish bf Married 7 years, 2 kids, 4 and 6 Physical Workouts are progressing well. Nothing to report here. Social This is an area that I am really focusing on but haven’t made much progress yet. I don’t have any close friends or people that I can just call to go out and do stuff. I am looking for a hobby or two that I can do that will have me socializing, especially with women. I actually found a dance school nearby that teaches Latin dancing. Looks like a lot…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/18 02:35 PM
9

This is a good reminder. STFU, apply principles learned from WISNIFG if necessary and don’t engage shitty behaviour.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/18 11:23 AM
1

Thanks dude glad to have you in my corner.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/18 09:56 AM
1

Even after reading this countless times I needed to hear this again. I doubt my ability to do this to be honest. Although I’ve had a really faggoty week which I’m not proud of and feeling weak as fuck right now. Tomorrow is a new day and I’ll get back on the horse. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/18 01:53 AM
1

I hear what you’re saying. However my wife was never a good cook, even when I met her. And to be honest she’s lazy. The plan is to inspire her to add more value by being more valuable myself.
/r/askMRP02/12/18 12:23 AM
1

Ya that’s kind of the conclusion that I had come to myself, that my blindly applying kino and gaming was unattractive and needy behaviour. As you suggested I am going to pull back and let her come to me.... or not, we shall see. Either way it shall be an interesting experiment. Thanks for taking the time to reply.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/18 12:54 PM
2

If I don’t cook my wife ends up making Kraft dinner for the kids every night or waits until 6pm and asks what are we eating. My family eating well is part of my mission. I try to live as if I was alone. If this is a DLV to her then fuck her.
/r/askMRP01/12/18 02:19 AM
2

He would probably forget his wallet AND his card by doing it this way
/r/askMRP01/12/18 02:16 AM
2

Buy an investment property as a backup residence if you split you live in one of the units. That way you don’t have to scramble to look for a new place. As for your side gig, get paid in cash that way won’t affect alimony.
/r/askMRP30/11/18 11:37 PM
1

Thanks dude
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/18 10:48 PM
1

I totally understand the theory, I’ve been lifting and reading the sidebar. Hell I’ve been doing too much reading. Not looking for any shortcuts here, I’m willing to put in the work. But it’s one thing to say I want to be IDGAF and OI and actually be it. What was your process for making the mental change to actually internalize this stuff? Any tips or tools you can offer? This is really abstract stuff and it’s hard for me to wrap my head around.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/18 09:47 AM
2

Care to elaborate?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/18 10:59 PM
1

Here’s the thing. The line about her not getting uncontrollably horny and not reacting wasn’t meant to read “hey I tried this and it didn’t work now what?” Just basically saying I’ve been practicing some kino and light gaming( hug from behind, brushing her arm lights, telling her she looks nice ) a few times throughout the day, and trying to do it daily AND not just when I want sex, otherwise she knows what I want. In the past I’ve always ONLY kinoed when I was in the mood, so she could see me c…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/18 08:03 PM
1

Found the problem. Another member of the ["Dancing Monkey" Attraction Improvement Programme I’m focusing on improving my frame, my mission, and my leadership.I don’t agree this applies to me. I will take your advice and let her come to me. Stay tuned for the results...
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 10:23 PM
1

I’m still trying to find my own balls, l doubt anyone is going to be able to find them for me. But ya, I hear what you’re saying. I’ve actually been initiating more frequently as a result of a drastic reduction in fapping, and she confronted me about it ( talked about it in my last oys) and I basically told her that I’m a man, i have needs and I’m going to keep initiating, you can always say no. Now I see that probably won’t work with her and will probably make sex feel like even more of an obli…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 08:20 PM
4

So you’re saying I should take up golf?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 07:14 PM
2

I appreciate your input. I’ve been suffering from a pain syndrome called TMS for the last 16 years. I’ve learned to overcome the pain, but every now and then it pops up again, and it did so in a big way 6 months ago while deadlifting. Then again over a month ago squatting. Then again with a v squat machine. So I’ve basically eliminated those exercises that trigger the pain episodes and have found substitutes that don’t hurt my back. If you want to learn more about TMS I highly recommend checking…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 07:11 PM
1

I hit the gym 3 times a week now on current program. Because of recurring low back injury I don’t squat or deadlift. And my bench is a hammer strength machine so I don’t have to chase after a spotter. I don’t have anything against posting my numbers, and I will if you think it will make a difference. Im progressing and adding weight or reps every workout and push myself hard. Working out for me is easy. The mental game is where I’m struggling and prioritizing.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 05:10 PM
1

First of all thanks for your thoughtful response. I highly value the feedback. be a social person instead. Get out of your comfort zone. Put yourself in situations where you have to talk to people you don't know. Join Toastmasters and learn how to speak to groups of people. Ya I didn’t mention but I’m trying to be a more social person overall and trying to talk to random people. It doesn’t come naturally to me, which means that I need to do it. I googled toastmasters because I didn’t know what i…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 01:35 PM
1

There is a great hobby called "fix shit around the house." I think I should be doing this in addition to my hobbies. I guess you can say I’m still working on finding my mission. My passions. You know, the things in the long term that make me an interesting person. Activities that take me out of the house meeting other people who share my passions.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 09:56 AM
1

It doesn't sound like your wife is mothering you (basing this on you doing most of the housework, tell me if I'm wrong) but maybe she still feels that way sometimes Not at all. Don’t think she feels this way. why not try reducing contact a bit next week and see what happens? Try not to be autistic about it -- think "distracted" rather than "silent treatment". Yeah thanks for the suggestion. Has been easy to do the last couple days as wife is still not talking to me lol. Was planning on doing thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/18 09:52 AM
2

Quit doing that shit if you're doing it to get pussy, it doesn't work. If you're doing it because your mission requires you to - do it. Not doing any of this shit for her; doing it because it needs to get done. I pull more than my weight around as she spends a fuckton of time on Facebook. When my wife has shitty behavior related to sex/affection, I withdraw my time and attention and go do awesome shit, even if it's in another room in the same fucking house. I am still looking for a hobby I can d…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/18 08:19 PM
1

Touché. Reading Models now by Mark Manson. Goes into depth about neediness. Hopefully I’ll learn a thing or two.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/18 08:12 PM
7

OYS #4 40 yo 5’8 158 lbs 15% bf ish Married 7 years, 2 kids 4 and 6 Physical Workouts are consistent and are progressing. Been at it for 3 months now with proper diet ( well could be cleaner, but getting over 120g protein per day and calorie surplus.) Hard to tell when looking in the mirror if I actually look any better or if I've gained any actual muscle mass, but I'll have to trust the process. In terms of body composition I am in better shape now than I've ever been in my entire life, and mil…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/18 01:47 PM
3

Great to hear sir, I for one care and enjoy reading your posts. Puts into perspective how some people have some real problems to deal with yet still manage to own their shit. You are an inspiration.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/18 09:57 AM
1

That’s the plan.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/18 05:46 PM
1

I want to sincerely thank you for your reply and for sharing that post with me. MRP was a real eye opener and game changer about how to improve myself in general terms, but now I understand that learning ‘game’ is what I personally need. I’ve been an AFC for as long as I can remember. Ive always been in LTRs because it took the pressure off of having to go out there and risk rejection. I’ve always just hooked up with girls who had an interest in me first, as opposed to choosing girls who were a …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/18 04:34 PM
1

While I was planning and executing the date, I wasn’t thinking YES I will do all this and she will fuck me. I’m aware of covert contracts and while the date was happening, I reminded myself about not slipping in that trap. But I was STILL butt hurt. Hence why I need to better mentally prepare before initiating. Last night as per my second scenario I wasn’t butt hurt when she said no. I had mentally prepared and I thought I handled it ok. Now I think I just need to get a good streak going to buil…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 06:27 PM
2

You’re right I could have handled that better. She usually puts out without any resistance, albeit unenthusiastically. I don’t think she was flirting with me, I think she’s starting to push back as I’m initiating more and acting more confident and idgaf, but I probably could have fucked her if I hadn’t been a butt hurt fag. Fucked her the next day. Becoming OI is what I’m ultimately striving for.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 06:19 PM
2

OYS #3 40 yo 5’8 158 lbs 15% bf ish Married 7 years, 2 kids 4 and 6 Workouts going well, though could be better. Had another setback with my back doing v squat machine. Thought I would use that instead of squatting but fucked up my back again for a good 4-5 days. Still nursing it. Will be using leg press machine as my main quad exercise and some accessories. Working on dread level 3, however putting a particular emphasis right now on developing frame and passing shit tests. Some victories and so…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 02:45 PM
1

Thanks!!!! Saved instantly.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/18 01:03 PM
1

I’m reading a book that explains that often when kids misbehave it’s because they are looking for attention, whether it’s good or bad. Even you yelling at them is attention and it’s better than no attention at all. All about operant conditioning. They act a certain way=you respond to them=they learn to keep doing it because it got attention. Some behaviour needs to be ignored. As for getting your wife on board, have her read the book too and explain that yelling is counterproductive and actually…
/r/askMRP06/11/18 12:56 PM
3

Join a sports team or a club for an interest or hobby you have. Meetup.com is a good place to start. Also on Facebook there are a million groups for different interests. For example this summer I took up mountain biking. There is a Facebook group for a trail system nearby. I asked a couple questions about the trails and I had 10 people offer to show me around. Another example is local hiking Facebook group. People regularly post in there asking for people to hike with. Extrapolate that for a mil…
/r/askMRP05/11/18 02:19 PM
3

I think context matters. An athlete shedding tears after dedicating 15 years to a sport and winning a gold medal is very different from some beta bitch crying begging his wife to give him another chance. Crying at a loved ones funeral is not the same as crying because your dungeons and dragons character of 5 years is killed. I don’t think things need to be black and white. Ultimately we are our own judges either way. Sure people may judge you; fuck them. Grief is a part of life. There are going …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/18 03:07 PM
1

OYS #2 40 yo 5’8 160 lbs 15% bf ish Married 7 years, 2 kids 4 and 6 Quiet week for me. Haven’t had as much free time as I’d like as my son has been home with a fever for 5 days. Wife was away for the weekend so I was parenting full time. No issues here. Would have liked to do more fun interesting things but the sick one had to stay home. Relationship wise not much to report. Wife was gone for 4 days so not many interactions to report. Overall though it was a good week. Minimal shit testing so no…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/18 12:15 AM
1

I got teary eyed at the end of Rudy. Does that make me gay?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/18 05:21 PM
2

Small price to pay to get my wife to fuck me
/r/askMRP24/10/18 05:08 PM
3

Good for you man. I credit the MRP with getting my drinking under control. It’s given me a purpose and a brighter future to strive for. If I hadn’t I would probably be slowly spiralling to my death one drink after another....
/r/askMRP24/10/18 01:30 PM
2

Shit sign me up
/r/askMRP24/10/18 04:35 AM
16

She leaves for one weekend, you apply dread and when you pick her up at the end of the weekend she notices you are a changed man and is begging for you to come to bed? Please teach me your ways.
/r/askMRP24/10/18 02:54 AM
1

I appreciate your reply. I haven’t signed up, and was curious what other people here thought about it, especially those who are members. I suppose I should have prefaced my post by saying that I lift, I’ve read the side bar, and I OYS.
/r/askMRP23/10/18 10:50 PM
3

I actually get this quote.
/r/askMRP23/10/18 10:03 PM
2

Post it in oys
/r/askMRP23/10/18 04:16 PM
1

You’re right in that I spend a lot of time in my head. One of the reasons I meditate. Be more present and mindful. And you’re totally correct that I need to get out and do guy shit with other guys. This is one of my biggest challenges right now and one of my priorities. I work shifts so I’m often off work during the day time, and often work when normal people are off such as evenings and weekends. Not an excuse, just something I am working on. And I don’t really have any friends locally that I c…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/18 10:16 PM
1

It's called a feedback cycle. You're being a cunt so she reflects it back to you and you get cuntier and she gets more pissed. The only part of the cycle you control is your own damn self, so stop that shit. Yep, I knew I was being a cunt as I was being a cunt. I know I have to reset, just couldn’t do it. All the power is in your head, and any power she has is because you gave it to her. The Dude wrote: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/18 03:26 AM
1

Haven't written an OYS in a few months, and I deleted my first 3 because I put a little too much info in there and want to remain more anonymous. I still consider myself a newbie, so this may as well be my first one. Age: 40, wife 41 Weight: 155 BF%: 15ish Married: 7 years, 2 kids 4 and 6 YO ​ I'm here because I am want to improve as a man, plain and simple. I am unsatisfied with my current self. My relationship is fine but could be better. I am not coming from a dead bedroom, but wife has been …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/10/18 12:56 PM
1

Really. What happened when you refused duty sex? I’m thinking I’ll have to do that at one point to increase the quality. Quantity isn’t an issue at this point.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/18 06:53 PM
2

How did you know I’m bottom heavy? At this point I am more interested in aesthetics. I still workout legs... just because. But ideally I need to build up my upper body to be more proportional. I’m doing this program right now. https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/the-muscle-building-workout-routine/
/r/askMRP18/10/18 01:03 PM
1

What to you is the difference between training for strength and aesthetics? How would the plans differ?
/r/askMRP18/10/18 01:40 AM
1

+1. I posted above about how Sarno saved my life. So happy to see he’s helped other people around here. I told my doctor about him last month and about how I cured myself of crippling pain and he just blinked at me a few times and ignored what I said. Amazing how mainstream medicine is so focused on fixing the body when sometimes it’s the mind that needs work.
/r/askMRP16/10/18 02:01 AM
6

That book was instrumental in saving my life. And I’m not exaggerating one bit. When I was in my 20s I had debilitating chronic back pain, knee pain and wrist pain for years. I was depressed and had dropped out of school. The book explains how a lot of pain ( I would argue MOST chronic pain ) is psychosomatic meaning there is no physical cause for the pain but rather the pain signal is caused your brain. The why is complicated but stress, anxiety, repressed psychological trauma, unhappy marriage…
/r/askMRP16/10/18 01:56 AM
2

Consult a lawyer. Laws differ from place to place. Definitely don't spend it on anything that would be considered a marital asset such as house or car.
/r/askMRP07/06/18 12:51 PM
1

Thanks. Didn't realize my post looked like shit. I had copy and pasted from another word processor. I've considered getting a consultation with a powerlifting coach just to get some form checks. I don't trust just any personal trainer. I think I've got the basics though.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/18 10:55 AM
1

In this particular situation, she was stressed out because she was going back to work after a 3 week absence and was overwhelmed about work she would have to catch up on. Oh boy. I think I may not have been clear in my post. I said that I am clearly the leader in the couple. But I think that is because she never stepped up as captain. Maybe she didn't want to or didn't need to. But that doesn't mean I've been a good leader. I haven't. I have a lot of work to do in this department. It's one of my…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 04:47 PM
1

OYS #2 2018-06-06 Stats: 40 years old Married 6 years, together for 10 2 kids, a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl 5'8 159 lbs BF 15% Lifts Starting lifts on May 4 2018 Squats 95lbs 3*10 Bench Press 115lbs 3*10 Seated Cable Row 110lbs 3*10 Deadlift 95lbs 3*8 Lat Pull Downs 121 3*10 Shoulder Press 65 3*10 Current Lifts Squats 125 3*10 Bench Press 135 10-10-9 Seated Cable Row 135 10-10-8 Deadlifts 130 8-8-8 Shoulder Press 75 10-8-8 So, this is my second check in. It's been about over a month si…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 03:26 PM
4

It’s the idea that you’re working to improve yourself for you. If your marriage improves great, if not you’re in a good position to move on and find something better.
/r/askMRP03/06/18 09:38 PM
0

Hmmmmm, thanks for this comment. I’ve always been the one to do more house work and meal prep in our household, while wife does very little and finger fucks her phone 5 hours a day. I’ve noticed myself becoming passive aggressive telling myself fuck this shit why should I do more than my share and started slacking off and spending more time doing shit I want to do. Maybe I need to rethink this.
/r/askMRP03/06/18 09:35 PM
1

Hey I know I fuck around too much, optimizing my time is part of my MAP. I've been drunk and hungover the past ten years so my days off have been filled with lots of wasted time for lack of energy or motivation. I've stopped drinking so now I have the motivation and the energy; I just need to decide how I want to fill that time now. Thanks for the reply.
/r/askMRP22/05/18 03:36 PM
1

I don't need your permission, just your advice, so thanks for that. I like the part where you're fucked either way, which sounds about right to me.
/r/askMRP22/05/18 03:33 PM
1

Thanks! Lots of good info in there. I don't need help choosing hobbies; in fact I just bought a mountain bike and hit the trails today. My confusion or question really was if thought was to be put into hobbies for causing dread. And you and many others set me straight on that. It's pretty simple really. Do shit that I like in my spare time, lots of it, because doing fun shit is fun, I'll be happy, wife may pick up on fact and as a byproduct dread may be generated, but should not be an expected r…
/r/askMRP22/05/18 03:31 PM
1

I think this reply resonates with me the most; I think prioritizing family is important in my case as it is limited compared to a lot of other people who work normal jobs, and I've got lots of free time to get my own shit done. However, if something came up on a weekend that I am off that I really want to do then I'll just do it. Wife bitching or not.
/r/askMRP22/05/18 03:27 PM
1

Ya I do fuck around too much, and one of my short term priorities now is getting my shit organized and planning my day better to be more productive and get shit done
/r/askMRP22/05/18 03:22 PM
1

You sound very busy indeed. Makes me feel ashamed for how much time I waste. I can only get better from here. Thanks for the post.
/r/askMRP21/05/18 11:40 AM
1

I have read the sidebar, and all of the required reading as well. I admit I'm a little confused as to the purpose of pursuing hobbies, which is why I made this post. I suppose my question is more about should I strategically choose my hobbies and the times I do them in order to maximize dread? For example. One man plays video games and has hobby train sets in his basement. Both are hobbies that relax him and he feels fulfilled. However, they don't take him out of the house. His wife is upstairs,…
/r/askMRP21/05/18 11:36 AM
1

Here are my numbers. I intend on posting them in my next OYS post as my lifting numbers didn't seem too relevant to this question :P 40 yo 5'8 159 lbs BF 15-20% just quesstimating. These are last workouts numbers BP: 125lbs 3x10 Squats: 105 3x10 Deadlift: 115 3x8 OHP: 70 3x10 Strict pull ups: 15. Yes I know they are low, but I started with lower weights so I can keep progressing weekly. I am also eating at a surplus as I've gained a couple lbs since beginning this program. You're totally right t…
/r/askMRP21/05/18 11:16 AM
1

10 hour shifts, days and evenings no nights. Work one weekend on two
/r/askMRP20/05/18 10:03 PM
1

I’ve realized that I don’t want to moderate any more. I can’t. Need to quit for good.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/18 11:51 AM
1

Thanks for your post. Lots of great tips. I’d love to be able to deal with this in my own but may need to seek help. Will reread the Naked Mind and hopefully the message will sink in. I’d love to be able use weed as an alternative but it’s still criminal here in Canada so, but the good news is it’s on its way to being legalized. That said, I am not looking for another crutch, but an occasional puff here or there we’ll see.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/18 02:09 AM
1

> You need help with the alcohol problem - paging MERP's with experience on this problem. I agree. This is priority number one for me. I've been pretty good the last few weeks only drinking once a week as opposed to 3 or 4, and it's getting easier. It is still going to be a challenge. Sorry, but who or what is a MERP? > STFU. In particular, no more fucking conversations about sex or your feelz. Fucking zero . . . full stop. Search the term "verbal intercourse is optional" I agree that this is on…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/18 04:34 PM
2

I like this Instagram account for inspiration. Nice looking outfit ideas that would look good in today’s society https://www.instagram.com/capsulewardrobemen Also this post from MFA subreddit is what I based my current wardrobe on as it’s idiot proof, and is somewhat of a capsule wardrobe. Every item pretty much goes with everything else. https://www.google.ca/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice/comments/5da1dc/the_basic_bastard_basic_wardrobe_and_inspiration/
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/18 05:28 AM
1

Thanks for the heads up about leangains. That site was what actually turned me on to IF. For the moment I'm still trying to cut down to a lower BF% before I start a slow bulk. This weekend will definitely be a challenge. It's not really a question of craving the drink, but facing the weekend sober. I'll have to prove to myself that I can have fun and BE fun, like you said, without the booze. With some proof under my belt, it should get easier in the future. I'm going to look up Psycho-Cybernetic…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/18 01:29 AM
2

Thanks! I’ve already read that book about a year ago, but the message hasn’t sunk in yet. I needed to find MRP to really find the motivation to stop. Before I didn’t have a good enough reason. Now I have a mission and I won’t be able to accomplish it unless I overcome this addiction. It is priority #1 on my MAP. It won’t be easy.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/18 10:07 PM
1

​ First OYS Post, Been lurking for about 5 months Stats: 40 years old Married 6 years, together for 10 2 kids, a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl 5'8 156 lbs BF 15-20% My marriage isn't so bad, or so I kept telling myself for years. Couples fight. Of course sexual frequency and quality goes down. That's only normal and inevitable. Everyone says so. My wife tells me even her friends say so. Sex was frequent at the beginning. But it quickly died down as we moved in together after a long distan…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/18 01:34 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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