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View 3 posts and 102 comments by TopJunket7249 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
146

LEVEL UPTopJunket7249/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 04:51 PM
1

DISCUSSIONTopJunket7249/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 12:43 AM
1

NICE FOR WHAT?TopJunket7249/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:22 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
111

Huge red flag. I should have been more perceptive when my ex mother in law asked me the first time I met her if my ex husband was acting jealous and controlling. I laughed about it because he would show small things here and there, it came out more and more with time. You don’t need to be perceptive in your situation, his family are flat out telling you they wish they could leave him if he wasn’t family. Additionally, you have been conditioned to be yelled at by your father, do you really feel y…
/r/askFDS29/09/21 10:20 AM
95

My ex husband. Looks like a model and has an amazing career—but NVM through and through. His insecurity destroyed our marriage and I personally don’t think he will ever have a very deep relationship with anybody.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 11:41 PM
92

This needs to be higher up. As a petite woman, height isn’t a huge issue for me because I’m mini. But looks and hygiene are totally within the mans control. Dress nice, wash and comb your hair, take care of your teeth, work out and get a healthy looking body. But they would rather not invest in either their mental or physical health and want the world to be given to them on a silver plate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 11:21 PM
237

I remind myself of this constantly. I am lucky to have been able to leave my abusive NVX, I am grateful to be able to unmatch with guys on dating apps, and I am blessed to have choice. Whenever I get frustrated, I check my privilege for living in a western country in a liberal city. That said, the fact that I consider the aforementioned as privilege is sad and needs to change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 12:51 PM
81

Grandma knows what’s up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 11:27 PM
4

Just downloaded it. Thank you! Knowing that something like this exists and being able to use it is awesome and makes me feel safer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:00 PM
13

So have I! I just don’t get it. What am I too much of? Sorry for having a personality and my own thoughts and being excited about life?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 06:17 PM
16

Russian here. Same. My dad has my mom on a leash, and if I say anything bad try to wake her up, she blames me saying I should be helping them get closer and be happier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:40 PM
6

My ex husband would this all the time. His sisters and mother and really all the women of his large extended family are angels and would never do the things I do, nor act the way I do because they are better. Well reality check, they aren’t and have done worse. It’s called triangulation, he just wants to put you down and if you want a place in his family you must act like the fantasy version of his female family members.
/r/askFDS01/06/21 12:58 PM
66

I saw the cake video and thought the same thing. While I totally understand financial difficulty, coming from a very, very poor immigrant family and having nothing when I was growing-up, it doesn’t cost much to google a cake recipe and buy some ingredients, or go to the supermarket and buy a small cake for $10. If it mattered to the father to get a cake, he would have thought ahead and budgeted for it. Also, I only ever see videos with men and their kids, predominately daughters and how the fath…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:10 PM
7

Totally agree on the Christian mindset and family structure. My ex is from RS and his family is super Lutheran, church every week. Yet all of his sisters were 6 months+ pregnant at their wedding. One of his sisters got pregnant at 17 by her older boyfriend and they only got married when the child was 3. It was just something I continuously saw, not so much as shying away from the responsibility of marrying the woman they got pregnant—but trapping her with pregnancy and dangling marriage in front…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 10:24 AM
47

Ex husband is Brazilian and when I went to Brazil on multiple occasions, I saw this. The mothers would say “I love all my children equally, but my son is my favorite,” in front of the whole family. Visiting brothels is considered normal for guys. My ex husband literally told me that people should have children first and then see if they want to get married (happened to all of his sisters). Women need be perfect virgins, while all the guys are addicted to porn and have these large WhatsApp groups…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 12:15 AM
25

Thank you! Happy Mother’s Day!! Just me and my LO today, but feels nice as there are no expectations, no let downs, and no drama. I even got a little flower when we went to the park today. My mom sent me gifts (even though I should be the one sending her stuff, and I did) and my dad is taking me to lunch tomorrow. The friends that are actually friends sent me messages first thing in the morning. Family beers tonight. Overall, really good day so far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 07:03 PM
3

I don’t think we can name other subs. Somebody correct me if I am wrong please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 12:13 PM
22

This. If you are going to be a single mother, you NEED to be able to either afford a competent infant nanny or a relative to take your small child while you rest or even need to go to the doctor. You will get frustrated and need help and support, postpartum is no joke. You will have friends that will disappear after saying they will help you with everything and anything. You need to be able to take care of yourself first before taking care of your baby, or you both will suffer. I could not have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 12:37 AM
15

I saw this post, I was honestly flabbergasted. He knows, she knows. What does she get from this relationship except a man that co plains and then ignores her when she points out all of the contributions she makes, while he plays video games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 11:17 PM
5

I can totally see that perspective. That you have to fit into a certain Madonna box, otherwise you are a whore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 12:49 PM
37

This is why I love this sub, it has women that can put into words what I couldn’t truly put my finger on for so long. I though I loved quickies, that we have a few minutes of fun and he finishes and then we move on with our day. It was always about the guys, it was never about me. It was about them getting satisfaction and me being the warm flesh light. How often I was in bed with my ex (almost all of them) and I wanted them to just finish faster and get it over with. Because 1. I wasn’t truly e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 12:04 AM
22

Wowza “love and abuse cannot coexist” That hit me hard because it is the absolute truth. It is so easy to make excuses and think that they love me, but it is “I” who didn’t setup boundaries, etc. No, we need to stop coddling adult humans that just happen to have boy parts and giving them the benefit of the doubt. It’s like saying. “I’m smarter and stronger and have to help him see that him treating me like a mommy bangmaid he can abuse is not good—i will help him see the light and he is a logica…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 11:45 PM
17

I could just take a photo of the Polaroid and then share it if I really wanted to. I personally don’t think there is any safe option. I have no tattoos, I didn’t put my face in the photo, near blank wall so they can’t see my room, no jewelry that is visible—so there may not be a concrete way to pin me as being the person in the photo, but the fact is that you are still being violated by the photos potentially being shared and the person saying it is you. I remember how when all of those naked ph…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:33 PM
61

Interestingly enough, my NVM ex husband refused to ever have me send him any nudes/sexy photos. He got so angry if I sent him a sexy photo, even with my head cropped out. He made me delete them off my phone and messaging apps and deleted the photos on his side as well. I was so confused by this and he told me it is so that my photos never get into the wrong hands. If somebody hacks my phone or steals my phone. He said that guys WILL ruin my life if they get the chance. He was an awful human bein…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:47 PM
31

I just got my certificate and applying for one. I also do 1-1 training with a former law enforcement official on how best to handle situations. It helps me get through the motions, work for speed and precision, and not get anxious if a situation occurs in the future. I will be prepared. Edit- misspelling
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 07:31 PM
29

I love this! I do like skinny jeans and heels, but I very consciously dress in them for myself. I do it because I love the way I look in them and feel frumpy and not me if I wear something flowy. I do my nails every week at home because I love my nail health and love designs. But the makeup, the heels, the nails, the skinny jeans—they are all designs that are funky and fun and not Smokey eye neutral sexiness. I dress and take care of me for myself. Some of my stuff overlaps with what is in style…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 03:01 PM
14

Oh gosh, my dad was just talking about this. He is so confused by American movies and how they paint a loser as a hero. Whether he is saving the day, getting the girl, making some discovery. He literally said, “how are they painting some alcoholic, drug addicted, no job boy as the hero—this is not real life! And now guys like this have an attitude and think that they can be a hero in real life!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 07:36 PM
19

I moved to another state during the pandemic with my child, but my company restructured and I lost my job late last year; after a good rest i am now only looking for jobs that I can do remotely moving forward. I work in a very corporate and archaic industry that is only present in major cities, not where I am now. I am very happy to see more roles opening up in my industry that are 100% remote. Allowing me a big city salary, with small town expenses. My child still goes to daycare, and has the o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 12:05 PM
30

I wish I had this sub when I was a young and super impressionable woman. I would have learned to stand up for myself and live for myself. That said, I am so grateful to have found it in my 30s, it has changed my life—literally. I am still retraining my mental pathways and haven’t been this happy or fulfilled in years. To all the women who are just discovering this sub, I am so happy for you. If you follow the handbook and learn from the strong and powerful women contributing, you will avoid so m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 02:04 AM
9

I KNOW! One time out of anger I asked him, “Do you want to fuck your sisters? Is that why you are always comparing me to them?” He was silent! They were lovely ladies and I to this day have no issue with them, but him comparing me to older married female family members does not make sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 12:48 PM
67

Ex husband would triangulate me with his sisters and mother. “They would never do what you do; they deserve to be treated amazing because they are good girls!” PS-they aren’t at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 02:30 AM
10

I went to work and then at lunch time went to the hospital because my water broke! I was ready to stop going to work when I was 6 weeks pregnant because the pain, fatigue, fainting, constant vomiting was awful. I was even looking for ways to stay home from work but couldn’t without using my maternity leave benefits. I was not a happy camper.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:21 PM
5

Ex husband gave me his phone password and card pin second time I met him, so I could change music/answer texts/pay for stuff while he was driving and couldn’t use his hands. Yeah...he ended up being an abusive, paranoid guy who used this as a sign of how “open” and “trustworthy” he was, when in reality he was isolating me from my friends and family and creating a narrative that he is the only one I could trust and who loves me and is there for me. At the end of the day, so many seemingly HV acti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:04 PM
57

When my ex saw I was losing the pregnancy weight and looking good, first thing he said to me was, “don’t lose too much weight, not all guys like such skinny girls!” Welllllllll, first off, my body is not any of your business—even if we were together; second, don’t try to cut short my goals because you are insecure. To hell with all that noise!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:26 AM
22

I couldn’t finish the video. I just cringed sooo hard and felt so bad for this dude. He is creepy and thinks he is getting somewhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:23 AM
6

How many guys have told me “I like you like this, when you are humble.” AKA when I am crying and deflated and trying to be small and nice. How many men have told me that I am “to much,” “intimidating,” and have “too strong of a personality—like a guy.” I listened to those guys, it impacted me and I put myself into cruel situations that I will pay for the rest of my life. I am so over it. To hell with the N/LVM and the pick me girls that don’t avoid me because they don’t like me, but actively try…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:19 AM
166

This! I suffered 10 hours unmedicated induced labor—not fun! I finally decided that I am done with the pain as I didn’t dilate at all during those 10 hours and got an epidural. My first words to the doctor were, “omg, this is amazing—why doesn’t everybody do this????” My doctor later came in and said to me, “why suffer? You still get the prize in the end—your healthy baby!” So true. If I ever have anymore children, I am totally getting an epidural and not waiting—being in monstrous pain is not a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:02 AM
14

That is awesome, I am so happy you met a guy like this! I have never met a guy who truly tried and put in the work with internal drive, but I don’t think it is unique in any way, because I have met dozens of girls with this mindset.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 07:02 PM
91

My dad told me to play dumb and even not answer when my ex would say things to try to instigate. To play his own game against him and be perpetually lost. My dad said that the ex knows exactly what is is doing—he is an adult— and wants to trap me into explaining things like an adult, only to shut me down and waste my energy and make me feel bad. He doesn’t need to be spoon fed and he will never understand me, because he just doesn’t care. So much of “you need to communicate with him” is garbage,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 06:56 PM
5

My parents do this and I will definitely do this if I ever live with a man again. I snore, I kick, I like to sleep diagonally. I have a king size bed and it is still too small for me, and I am a small lady! I have always hated sharing a bed, sleep is not supposed to be romantic or sweet—it is supposed to re-energize you and heal you for the next day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 02:50 AM
30

“It is impossible to make you happy!” “Your standards are too high!” “I can never do anything right for you!” “Everybody hates you and you don’t deserve love!” “Not everybody can put in as much effort as you!” Sure thing bro, thanks for the projection of your insecurities on to me and showing me how lazy you are. NEXT. That is what I wish I said to all the guys that have said these things to me. But instead, I thought something was wrong with me. How come I can be nice, kind, supportive, put so …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 12:35 PM
23

Allowance? That is something my dad gave me when I was a kid for cleaning the house and to not complain at him to buy me stuff all the time. He doesn’t view her differently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 10:16 PM
30

Burn his castle down! Where are the siege weapons?! But in all seriousness, i really like this story. I wish I learned these lessons when I was younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 06:23 PM
56

Pedo ex got a vasectomy and only told me two years in when he had a breakdown. Yay! He knew full well I wanted a family and only after did he start looking at reversals and ivf etc. he told me that he didn’t tell me because he was afraid I would leave him. Hell yeah, why you wasting my time?? Oh yeah, because you are selfish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 06:17 PM
6

I understand. Sadly, common sense isn’t so common. When I was going through this, I spoke to my attorney and had him guide me, in addition to scouring the internet on custody agreements with narcissists. Right of refusal was not something I knew either, because you would think that the father would want to be with his own kids and not just pawn them off on somebody else. Once my ex started talking about new girlfriends and family watching the kids, I knew I needed to make things ironclad. It’s n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 06:01 PM
15

In my divorce agreement, I wrote down the hours he can call the children and how often per day. With guys like this, you need to be specific or they will make life difficult. I hope you are writing down everything that is happening and noting how it is causing distress for your children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 02:55 PM
445

This is awesome, but it is Reddit, not the real world. He needs to actually say the things he is writing to these people. If he doesn’t, then it doesn’t matter THAT much to him. Feelings are great, but actions is where it is at.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 02:52 PM
28

I read an interview of hers that she didn’t want children and how he convinced her it was the next stage of her “evolution.” Like wtf. I found her to be super free spirited and creative, and he tried to trap her, as she had broken up with him multiple times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 02:45 PM
3

That is so wonderful to hear! I feel the same way. I feel as though I uncovered so much more much quicker on FDS. I’m still healing, but it is so good to know I have a horde of my sisters, as opposed to just one therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 08:07 PM
43

I agree with you. As an immigrant who came here as a child. I grew up on the American dream and Disney. I remember when I was a teenager I would tell my dad, “when I will be a millionaire/ when I will be rich...” and my dad asked me one time, “who ever told you that you will be rich? You need to work hard every day, be consistent, and be lucky—you aren’t the only one who wants to be rich!” That really got to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:51 PM
61

This seems like he is giving himself a giant pat on the back. He doesn’t need to connect with you in any way. You are writing for yourself and for your sisters, why does he need to insert himself into the conversation? He is making your suffering about him. How he is changing and improving and he hopes you meet a good man (like he will be/is).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:48 PM
90

Truth. If I have always followed my gut feeling, I would be in a much better situation and not have been caught up in 99% of shit in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:32 PM
26

Gosh, a therapist is $160 an hour in my area, and this guy is getting one for free! I feel bad for the girl. I have been there. But we can’t fix people and their problems. It is better to cut your losses. This guy is an adult, he knows what he is doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 07:22 PM
158

Awwwww, this makes me sad that he ended up being a POS. From the outside, he looked like a caring and supportive partner. I love her and listen to her music all the time. She hypes me up into feeling stronger. I am glad she kicked him to the curb, she deserves somebody that respects her. Also, I suggest reading her whole tweet, she is strong and fierce and said something so true: love isn’t real when the intimacy is shared with other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:53 PM
8

Are you me? I was just thinking about this book yesterday and literally gagged when I remembered certain aspects of it. That said, I am wayyyy into historical fiction and currently reading “shogun” and learning more about Japanese society, from the 1600s, as opposed to the memoirs of a geisha time period. I was shocked to learn how if a husband told his wife to kill herself, for whatever reason, she had to do it. How nobody cares how many concubines and courtesans a man had, how women were essen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:02 PM
11

I used to be like this hardcore. Every time I would go out, there was an underlying agenda of how awesome it would be to meet a cute guy, get attention, etc. I began to battle this ulterior motives of my subconscious by taking myself out of dates, prepping myself to look beautiful FOR ME. And the most important and most vital part was that whenever I would catch myself thinking or feeling (however your brain processes) a desire for make attention or anything other besides my own happiness, I wou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:51 PM
7

Same. I know we all have responsibilities and are in the middle of a pandemic and whatnot. But filtering through female friends is so hard as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:44 PM
40

This is horrifying. Imagine, dude does all this research, scheming and plotting to get his way, instead of just being a better person to his partner. Like wtf??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:19 PM
15

Omg yessssssss. Honestly, the average guy barely has anything and think that the woman that agreed to marry them is after their money. The men that do truly require prenups before marriage, who have a lot of money and property on the line, they always have solid financial agreements and payments setup within the prenup. So the woman doesn’t get 50%, but is fairly compensated if things go south. I know a couple where the guy wrote in 500k for every year married and 1mil for every child she bore h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 10:57 PM
15

My mother told me from a young age to always accept gifts form men, always allows them to pay, never feel bad for their son stories how they “forgot” an important day, or don’t have enough money to take you out, or splurge on you. To always have high expectations of men from the beginning. Because if they get a whiff that they can get by for less, they would. My dad told me never trust a guy who is a show off from the beginning, and fawning over you and treating you to expensive dinners and trip…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:40 PM
9

This. Give me a few years and I will just have a child by choice. Less drama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:29 PM
31

The fucking gall. Honestly, does he not feel any shame for the POS he is??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 10:25 PM
5

Snorted my drink. Hahahaha love this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 12:38 PM
3

Exactly! Me and my horde of cats are snuggling all the time. Extra fur, but I don’t mind! Ahhahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:03 PM
8

Yeah, you don’t need a man to hike with. You can just as well find a group of women/mixed gender. I would be terrified to go to a remote place with a random guy. I suggest finding a like minded woman with similar interests and refocus on yourself. I get the touch and attention starved, I’m the same way. But don’t get sidetracked by a guy who is on the hunt for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:31 PM
6

Single mama here. As soon as he quite literally fled the country after being served divorce papers, I felt such a huge relief. My life is so much easier and happier. I sleep better. My depression had lifted. I didn’t feel constant anxiety. No more fighting. I could create a beautiful home for me and my son. The only thing my ex contributed, was problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:22 PM
36

This is crazy true, both for fresh breakups as well as old ones. My ex is coming to town to see our child and already there are comments of “we can have dinner after baby goes to sleep,” “we can take a trip together,” “we are friends and coparents,” “help me find a hotel, I would appreciate it.” When I was facilitating a video chat with our child, he saw I was wearing makeup and looked FINE and was super hostile until I just let up and told him that my dad took me to lunch. Then he calmed down, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:48 AM
199

I did not know I needed this dude laying it down like this. Loving this tough truth. Unless a guy is actually committing and putting himself into a situation where there is real risk (dividng assets in divorce), then it isn’t true commitment. “Wifey” nicknames aren’t cute in reality. It is just to placate. Get all the reward without any of the risk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 02:39 AM
76

Damn, lady—give us some more truth!!! She is bang on, so many excuses girls accept from guys who are not into them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 02:48 PM
3

Hahaha, what I meant was that watching somebody read was my jam, it was exactly what I liked and no more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 01:15 AM
17

I am a single mom to a boy and I think it is going to be much harder to raise him as opposed to a girl. I say this because I feel as though he can’t exclusively look up to me on how to treat women and how to act, no matter how well I try to raise him—all because he will be looking at the actions of the majority of men. And the majority of men aren’t HVM. His father is not HV. When I was younger I did not want to have a daughter because I saw how difficult it was for me. What I didn’t consider at…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:27 PM
26

This is me. I tried all the crazy, degrading stuff and realized that I enjoy it the most when it is super vanilla. Pedo ex was there to push me to the limit and was pornsick and just ughhhh. NVEx husband was vanilla but the sex was good because he never pushed me to try things I didn’t want, he understood no, he tried to please me, and it was loving. It may be the equivalent of watching somebody read, but I didn’t need the whole cirque du soleil act and felt like he was excited for sex with ME, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 11:08 PM
12

God I couldn’t even get a bike rack without my neighbor making some nasty comment about it “hey, like your rack....bike rack that is” :laughs like he made the most clever joke in all existence: Like ewwww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:25 PM
2

I am so so so sorry you had to go through this—happy that these crazy relationships are behind us now! At the end of the day, I just felt like a punching bag for all of his life’s stresses. And so much emotional abuse was normalized that I have to still unpick. So many men say that women are hysterical and emotional, when in my life, the most emotional, snowflake, hysterical, irrational individuals were men. Never again!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:17 PM
34

Yay to fur babies! My ex hated my cats and I told him multiple times that it was a dealbreaker, but he kept changing his answers to show “flexibility” to keep me, all the while trying to push my cats out of my life. Ex is now gone, I am cuddling in bed with the cats and am so happy. What the hell was I thinking marrying an animal hater????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:50 PM
43

:Raise hand: right here with you. So much was engrained in me that I am taking my time to figure myself out. It is crazy hard, and I am lonely, and I get sad, but then I come here and read and realize that I want to be a Queen. In order for me to get there, I have to help myself first. I have a history of codependency and low self esteem, hence why I go from one monotonous relationship to another. This is the longest I have ever been single. It is so lonely, but I have grown more during this per…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 10:16 PM
39

Exactly. When you meet the person you want to be with, you want to commit, you want to “lock it down.” While many of us, me included, may have moved too fast and did not properly vet the HVM guy who turned into a LVM quickly after marriage, if a guy wants you, he will do whatever it takes to get you committed to him. If he is busy, he will make time for you; if he wants to text you, he will; if he wants to impress you, he will try; if he wants to marry you, he will propose; if he wants to be rom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 03:11 AM
22

I love this. Yes, we are the main characters of our lives—and I do not view that as being self-centered. My life on this planet is not to service others nonstop and get married and have babies and be a wage slave. It is about carving out a pocket of happiness in this world and trying bee things and figuring out what it means to be ME. All the while, leaving a positive impact on other people’s lives, and not allowing people to take advantage of me. Wether it be a man, job, or friend, you don’t ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:44 AM
89

Forever girlfriend, I am not, and never will be. My dad said that any man that waits more than a year to propose, or at least talk very very seriously about marriage and start actively taking steps to go ring shopping etc., is not serious about you. While not everybody is built the same, this has been very consistent with my own experience, as well as with the experience of women I know. I once had a friend who was a forever girlfriend for 10 years. TEN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:40 AM
8

Bookmarked!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:36 AM
13

I am so happy for you. Kick him to the curb. And you are right, he isn’t crying for you—he is crying for himself. Ex husband was crying and using me as his therapist when I left him stating how he is so embarrassed and his family must hate him because he is getting a divorce and none of them are divorced. Literally nothing about losing me and not seeing our child often, etc. it’s all about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:33 AM
149

I thought I had a drug, alcohol problem and depression—walking to work and crying each morning. Nope, I was just in a 4-year relationship with an emotionally unavailable pedo to whom I gave my youth and who strung me along for years. Once we broke up, hell yeah life!!! Another ex made me feel like everything I did was wrong and that I was too much. I had to walk on eggshells and watch every single movement. Once he got angry that I didn’t smile “right” at a couple he barely knew and invited with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:31 AM
45

I hate birth control pills. None of them mesh with my body. Why do I need to get hormonal, achey breasts, bloating, depression, acne, random bleeding, messed up cycles? Why? All because a guy doesn’t want to buy and wear a condom? Fuck that, no sex is good enough for me to sacrifice my body and comfort for. I know for many women birth control actually helps them with regulating their hormones, and that is awesome—but it doesn’t work for me. Plus, why do I have to pay for the pills and keep track…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:05 AM
20

The craziest thing that ever happened to me was when I was a personal trainer in my early 20s, a guy at a bar approached me and stated I had a rocking body and if I worked out. I told him I was a personal trainer and he asked if I was interested in training his girlfriend. Me, being naive and poor, said yes—thinking I was so lucky. She was awesome and we hit it off. After a few months, she invited me out for drinks and then her boyfriend joined us. They were super nice, but we kept drinking and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 11:58 PM
3

100% I was happy with who I was for so long, until my ex started nitpicking and having “serious conversations about how I act” all because he didn’t like how outgoing and talkative and confident I was. He always phrased it how he was helping me and how I wasn’t noticing how it bothers other people, etc. over time my friends all began to notice how worn away I became, a husk of my former self. There is nothing wrong with taking feedback and mulling it over to see if it really is true or not and h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 08:11 PM
71

Exactly! Solidarity!!! I am not aware of your situation, but my parents didn’t invest in me because they were trying to survive (immigrants), while their friends were employed and well paid and had the time to take care of their children and not be in a stressful mindset. This is not to excuse them in any way—because these comments were just not needed and impacted my friendships with these girls, turned me against other girls, made me anxious just being in the same room as other girls when my p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:41 PM
25

Love this guy. Very introspective comedy shows—his whole “jigsaw puzzle love” piece really helped me take a look at myself and learn to focus on myself and what makes me whole—which isn’t men. Regardless of gender, I always admire people who call themselves out and take responsibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:22 PM
58

This. I was always so surprised how my ex husband would say cheating is wrong, but still remain friends with a guy who cheated on his pregnant wife. Just shows your values. Looking back at this, I am surprised that I even had to have a conversation like this. Not something that I will ever allow myself to repeat in the future. If this is who you surround yourself by, then you are just the same. My father always said that silence is agreement. Truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:19 PM
8

This is not funny. His reaction at the end makes me sick, he thinks it is a game. I am impressed by the baby not making loud sounds for so long though! Mine at that age was always cooing or making some sort of sound.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:16 PM
12

I am so so happy for you and your mother. My father had talks with my ex boyfriends by telling them that I am uppity and need controlling. That is not true parental love, and I will never tolerate that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:12 PM
334

I have always felt as though I was in competition with the daughters of my mother’s friends. “Oh, XX takes such good care of herself, oh she is such a good dancer, oh she dresses so nice, oh she is so smart!” Instead of my parents focusing on me and helping me improve myself as a child, they expected me to just figure it out on my own. I always felt triangulated by family members, by the boys in school. It really made me grow up with feelings of jealously over other women. It wasn’t until my lat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:07 PM
88

THIS! I love the good men in my life. I sincerely want them to be happy, healthy, prosperous, and would help them (but they do not lean on me to do any work for them, and do not use me as a free therapist). BUT they did the work themselves to be good PEOPLE that actually ADD POSITIVE things to my life, they don’t expect me to build them up or be their mother. They focus their energy on improving themselves instead of scheming on how to take advantage of women for their personal gain. If a guy wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 01:59 PM
15

Thanks for sharing, it is amazing to hear your story. It really is a wonder how guys only change when they realize that they are going to lose you, and even then—they change for such a short period of time before reverting back to their old selves. Guys like that don’t actually care about you, they care more about their own comfort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:04 PM
4

I Am
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 10:25 PM
82

I love this so much. A place for US LADIES with STANDARDS and SELF LOVE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 07:24 PM
10

I have the same app! I love it, it really does prompt me to say my affirmations and has at times actually pulled me out of “negative thought” moments. I am still weak, but getting stronger, so I do need these gentle reminders. Get the app!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 06:31 PM
31

Truth, thank you for phrasing it this way. At the end of the day, call me selfish, but I want to have moments where I am super happy and celebrating “me!” While I also do want a HVM in my life and for him to be a best friend etc., I realize that I already have been living too much for other people, and my life has been dedicating to making others happy. Now it’s time for me to feel the same dedication and love, and honestly—the only person that can give it to me is ME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 06:30 PM
10

I think that is an awesome idea! How can we spread the word?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 02:10 PM
205

It is very hard to find like-minded lady friends. All of my old friends are no longer in my life because they are too busy chasing men who use and abuse them, and they tolerate it and find excuses for the, just so that they can get married and have kids! I wish there was a way more direct way to meet and connect IRL with FDS-minded women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 12:44 AM
5

Wow, she is amazing. I am going to walk that walk one day, still working on shedding some of my pickme habits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 02:39 AM
3

Power to you! I am actually looking into getting mine as well. I hate the fact that I have to get it to protect myself against men, not animals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 12:19 AM
1

Damn, this hit hard. The past still hurts at times, but I know I am on the right path for me. I’m not second rate, I am not used up, I deserve and will have more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 03:33 AM
3

I really enjoy this guy. Always makes me laugh, happy he is helping get the message out there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 03:52 AM
6

I vote for “under the Tuscan sun” with Diane Lane. It isn’t a comedy, but follows the path of a woman finding herself after her divorce from a NVM, and how she regained her sense of self. I have watched it every single time after my breakups and it showed me that life is about the journey and the new experiences and that I deserve to love myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 11:37 PM
5

I only recently found this sub and what you wrote really resonates with me. Thank you. I agree that it has saved me years of misery. Hard habits to break at times, but I love myself and have done more for myself than any man has ever done for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 04:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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