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TopShelfSnipes Archive

View 2 posts and 4,710 comments by TopShelfSnipes on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

IMO urbanization exacerbates all of that. There is more space to socialize in suburbs...space that doesn't require monetization to access. Plus crime is more of a risk in cities, which contributes to overparenting. Tons of free suburban festivals and concerts up this way (not a city), and it's super common for parents to drop off kids, let them hang out for a few hours with their friends, and say meet back at the car after. Plus unsupervized time with their friends at each other's houses which c…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 07:43 AM
–

Ah, yes...the classic "every incel is just a level 3 autistic weirdo so women should pity fuck him" argument again. Really? Do better. Majority of incels are perfectly normal looking, not autistic AF, and if they'd shut off social media ragebait and their video games and other addiction-adjacent habits that suck up all their free time and nerve endings, they might actually have a shot at socializing because they don't have some debilitating disability.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 02:13 PM
–

Both. I care that they're good at things I esteem, even if I myself am not good at those things. I have a great ear for music but I can't really play, I appreciate musical skill (and really all classic artistic ability). I'm a hockey player who's not very good at basketball, who was born with tight hamstrings, and can't do a lot of gymnastics adjacent stuff...nonetheless I value all forms of athleticism, so I'd still be impressed by athletic ability. OTOH I give exactly zero fucks about competit…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 02:11 PM
1

Some people have developmental disabilities that limit their ability and speed of growth in certain fields. It's not always a matter of choice. There are late bloomers, socializing is not easy-peasy past education. The majority of incels do not. This is a strawman. We are not talking about people with legit genetic/birth defects and major disabilities. We are talking about the average socially stunted chud who complains about "struggling". They likely knew they were struggling in middle school, …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 08:36 PM
5

It does not take months and months to realize there might be something more there, and to actually make a move. If a guy is having that problem, sounds like a skill/confidence issue. You're usually still "getting to know" people for several months after you first meet them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 08:32 PM
11

100% this. Stop "confessing"...just say you're enjoying getting to know her and open to seeing if there's something more there, and that she doesn't need to decide right away. Make it fun and exploratory not serious and pressured.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:46 PM
2

Biggest thing that helped me when I was a clueless teen: STOP TRYING to "get" a woman. I did this intuitively at times when I was younger...middle school, I never really tried to "get" anyone (wasn't really attracted to most of the girls in my school, until like 8th grade when I got interested in a couple), and when I was attracted, I'd just spend time around them, tease them, joke around a lot...it worked well. I put my best foot forward, bantered, flirted, and girls liked me. In high school, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 03:43 AM
7

It used to be about understanding attraction so that AFCs who wanted hookups could learn how to socialize in the spaces hookups happened, or AFCs who wanted relationships to understand why being nice and offering to help women they wanted to date with errands and homework and spending hours on the phone as her listening ear bestie when they first met wasn't ever gonna get her attracted to him, particularly if his self-esteem was low and he never bantered or flirted, and only came clean with his …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 03:08 PM
–

I don't have much idea about specifics of video game culture as I simply do not GAF but there is strong evidence to suggest that many Vtuber "women" are actually men appealing to other men by using an avatar. And to suggest that the ones that are women are just doing it to take advantage of desperate paypig types, which is why they go to such great lengths to hide their identity. Most women aren't doing any of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:14 PM
-1

Yes, because pretty sure they knew they were missing the boat in their teens and 20s and they still chose to not fix it. I mean, what would the world say to a 45 year old who had never played sports AT ALL who decided he wanted to become a high school college or pro athlete at 45?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 02:12 PM
5

Well said.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 04:11 AM
0

The wild thing about the "bad boy" narrative is how much it's pushed by socially stunted weirdos: Has a social life where he jokes around occasionally about doing something well, even if it's ironically = "he's cocky" Has no problem introducing himself or talking to women = "he's a player" Flirts with women, smiles and laughs with them, touches them with consent = "he's pushy and manipulative" Despite treating his friends and women well, he's curt or terse with the inhibited weirdos when he meet…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 02:43 PM
1

So, logically, from that it follows that women should be the ones choosing and approaching the man. If the choice of the man is so important to get right, shouldn't they take a more active approach? No, because some men will take anything without genuine interest in her because sex is harder for them to obtain so when handed a golden opportunity, they'll take it even if they're not enthused about it. And extremely passive men often make poor partners. They don't go out and form friendships, they…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 02:34 PM
–

This is the crux of most struggling guys' confidence issues on here. A rejection isn't a referendum on your sexuality. Onto the next one. Similarly, when they view dating as some moral competition where women should do no wrong and ought to choose only the most virtuous suitors, they also come to see rejections as moral failings, and it becomes self-soothing to view her rejections of others in a similar light so that, having "not tried" he hasn't been rejected in that way and can self-soothe wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 02:15 PM
1

Good women bring: beauty, energy, flirtatiousness, good company, diverse perspectives, exposure to new interests/hobbies, social networks, contributions to combined income, contributions to the household, economies of scale, a teammate to work towards common goals with, the ability to gestate life when coupled with a man, friendship, and great sex. Not all women offer each of these though. 2) what do you wish women start to bring to the table I wish that the women who offered less than the full …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 10:09 PM
3

Why does one side get to sit back, do zero initiation, filter through a pile of options they didn't work for, and still get framed as the selective ones? And the side doing all the approaching, all the risk taking, all the emotional labor of rejection after rejection is told that if they're struggling it's a them problem? Because biologically there are higher costs to women of reproduction with the wrong man. Because socially, men are less selective with female partners than women are with male …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 09:55 PM
3

The good news is that you've acknowledged the pattern, and that's the first step towards consciously moving past that sort of outlook...even though it will undoubtedly take work.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 08:09 PM
10

It really is something else. OP, effectively: "They should be like incels" ☑️Incels don't have male friends, because other men can't stand their whining, doomerism, and constant need to either put down other men, pedestalize celebrity or criminal men, or complain about not being able to get a woman. ☑️Incels don't have female friends, for obvious reasons. ☑️Incels often hate kids and don't actually want anything to do with them. ☑️Incels hate pets because they consider them inanimate objects tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 03:09 PM
3

Not RP so answering under automod: One thing I've never understood is this: if you believe average men are being excluded from dating because a small number of high-status men get all the women, why don't Red Pill influencers spend more time asking why so many of their followers aren't attracted to women who are also routinely excluded from conventional dating standards? Because RP believes that attraction isn't negotiable. It's not something you can pivot towards people you aren't attracted to,…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 02:57 PM
18

IMO most "struggles" guys have boil down to one of a few categories: -Extremely unattractive. Can be fixed through gym, grooming, and personal style to at least get to a benchmark of average (unless they have genetic/birth defects/severe disability). The goal is to get to a healthy weight and reasonable strength, not to become a body builder. -Don't meet enough women. Fixed through building and maintaining a social circle, getting out of the house more, diversifying hobbies away from predominant…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 02:37 PM
–

No one is "auditioning" on a date. That entire approach is repulsive AF. Automatic nope. And I'm not the only one who would say that. Only the desperate would stick around for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 02:30 PM
–

That's an extremely neuroduvergent or religious approach to dating and A LOT of good men who are not dating religiously will walk away from that. There is a reason that women who date that way often end up with liars and manipulators...because those are the types of guys who will go along with that approach. I am married over a decade to my attractive, fun, best friend... have always treated my exes before her well, and only had casual fun outside of expectations for a relationship and never by …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 01:41 PM
1

I would like to live in a world that acknowledges the reality and permanence of biological sex, and lets people pursue whatever interests and "roles" (within reason) they want without gendering behaviors, while providing equivalent opportunities in each arena to both men and women. Because Tomboys are still women and girls at the end of the day. Such a world would still have to acknowledge that certain traits stemming from sexual dimorphism predispose one biological sex to be better at some thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 10:50 PM
1

Some men are obsessed with validation from other men, usually because they have very rigid hierarchical views of human interactions, and are dead set on being validated in a strong position in that hierarchy. Usually these guys are tryhards, however, and rarely have actual power. So much of their behavior comes off as posturing. Picture every low-level middle manager who bullies the people who work for him (women can fall into these traps too, in hierarchical structures), but immediately softens…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 10:48 PM
–

That's not an early relationship question though. Attraction was a prerequisite for a first date. Enjoying her company and the sexual/romantic energy was a prerequisite to be exclusive. Trusting her was a prerequisite for sex. Being able to spend long periods of time together in mutual enjoyment, and having similar values around home life, was a prerequisite to living together. Wanting the same things out of life, compatible enough families and values, and believing we had a reasonable plan to g…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 09:59 PM
2

Except that's not how most people work. I was looking for a wife "someday." That would evolve over time after spending time with a woman. It's not something I say up front, because the reality is I wasn't looking for "a wife" I was looking to get to know a woman and deepen that relationship gradually, and I would consider marriage only after several other things had been met. Saying "I want a wife" early on implies, "I want you to be my wife" at a point when I hadn't made that determination. Mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:53 PM
2

100% this. Idiots come in all genders and ages, and I don't want to tie my fortunes to their decisions or whims. Judge everyone as an individual and react accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:33 PM
4

I'm disagreeing that #2 maturity = AF/BB. Those are 2 separate things. I also don't think these ideas are borne of putting women on a pedestal necessarily, more the mental gymnastics of undesirables in trying to explain away their undesirability and reframe it as a different paradigm that "should" exist that would result in women choosing them because the default paradigm "rewards" attractive and fun men with women's attention more than asocial loners.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:23 PM
3

Can we use HGTV as a realistic barometer for the housing market? "I'm a kindergarten teacher, and my wife sells homemade friendship bracelets on Etsy." (dramatic pause) "The budget is 4.6 million." ???
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:19 PM
5

"ER" also taught me that the most dangerous part of being a surgeon is...helicopters. So, yeah, ladies. That's (the only reason) why I never became a doctor. I mean, have you seen Black Hawk Down? No thanks. also /s
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:18 PM
12

They are for some reason venomous when women are not mind readers and have bad experience with men. They bitterly say that women supposed to have intuition and x-ray vision to see who is good who is bad. The other option is that we're all liars who promised good prizes women but in reality it's damaged goods. It's impossible to make a point that this "intuition" it's just emotional intelligence with pattern recognition, that women need experience, but still they are not completely brind. The men…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:13 PM
5

I don't have firsthand experience of Western culture, but there is an entire industry built around it, from pickup artists to shows like Friends, How I Met Your Mother, and Sex and the City, all of which either portray or comment on this dating culture. ...You do realize that all of those shows are supposed to be comedies, right? The irony is that most struggling types will focus on all the comedy while ignoring the fact that Ted comes off weird and creepy in HIMYM all the time, and that Barney'…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 01:45 PM
3

This. For most of us, we agree to date because we like each other, and want to see where things go. I cannot for the life of me imagine trying to agree on the end point, then agreeing to date someone solely because we have common aims. That doesn't mean we're compatible, won't guarantee we like each other, and it's skipping several steps in the relationship to declare that the end. Most of us like/liked (in my case, since I'm out of the game now) to take things one step at a time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:21 AM
1

And how many people know this? More importantly how much women are applying this more compared to men? I'd say a fair amount. Women do tend to drive more "practical" cars than guys, on average, however. <image> That's what hobbies are for, you don't do hobbies to be productive (that's what jobs are for) A hobby is not supposed to replace core aspects of a functional human experience like socialization.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 09:41 PM
2

This is Reddit. Everything needs a definition sourced by at least 3 peer reviewed studies that have colons in the title and a minimum of one (1) random Youtube video to prove that the conclusions are relatable in a pop-culture adjacent way.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 09:36 PM
1

A leased car is the worst decision since you own nothing at the end of it, which is why dealers promote leases...they sell you 60% of a car, get a whole car back in 3 years, and then turn around and sell the whole car "used" at 2/3 of original value financed at favorable terms with the interest rate marked up to a buyer. Seeing as fewer women tend to live at home than men at, say, 24 years old, and more women are getting college educations these days (and student loans factor into "debt") - both…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:22 PM
3

Nowhere did I say any of this applies to me. Reading comprehension is not most Redditors strong suits, clearly. I've been having enjoyable sex with women for a long time, and have never had issues with not being able to "last." My wife was the one I wanted to build a life with. I don't know why you can't take a comment about the OP's personal circumstance and not attempt to make it into some sort of personal statement (people can discuss issues without needing firsthand experience with that spec…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 04:22 PM
1

Not necessarily in my experience. The women usually have cars, can get around, have jobs, own equipment (I play hockey). Some of the younger guys have to borrow equipment, need rides, and don't really have jobs, and some game a lot in their spare time. The women don't really play video games and have a stated preference to not date gamers because of everything that comes along with that. The women are also generally much more knowledgeable about life and how things work. Everything from credit, …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 03:54 PM
10

Actually the best method of creating offspring is mutual climax. The vagina becomes more receptive to sperm with orgasm. If you're going to make this argument, you need to make it correctly. Some guy spurting because he can't contain himself in a barely expanded vagina isn't "optimal procreation." Besides, unless you're a religious fundy, sex is also for pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 02:24 PM
3

Outercourse is non penetrative. Fingering is penetrative. Do I seriously have to explain this to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 02:22 PM
2

Literally just fingering her well, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 12:56 PM
4

IDK, usually it's easy to make a woman cum first...especially with great foreplay. Them being able to have multiple orgasms usually solves being premature if my fingers do the job before my dick even goes in. Unless you're literally cumming from foreplay? Save for a couple times when I was young, my partner always cums first. And then we go again. If I came first, I finish the job with my hands or we wait maybe 20 mins and go again. Opposite situation: a woman was sore, so we stopped before I ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 09:06 AM
3

Your orgasm is your responsibility but your consenting partner is obligated to help. "Inability to perform" = your problem if its your problem, their problem if its their problem. "Premature" = you are reasonably obligated to help your partner reach theirs, and if you don't make a serious attempt with an appropriate skill, you're a bad lover. The best sex follows a simple rule: we are not done until we are both done. Anyone who can't do that whether it's selfishness or their own performance issu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:11 AM
–

Good men's value has not decreased. Good men remain in strong demand and dating has never been easier in that respect FOR THEM. The problem is largely threefold, because there are fewer of "them" these days due to: 1-"Masculinity" influencers continue to peddle unrealistic, stereotypical versions of masculinity as THE ONE AND ONLY WAY TO ACQUIRE A WOMAN, which imbues inexperienced and struggling men with inferiority complexes which are woman-repellent, AND causes them to either give up or waste …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:44 AM
1

"Free play" doesn't happen with parents controlling everything. Children in daycare learn how to form their own friendships, see the same kids, navigate social dynamics, deal with social consequences, and recover from mistakes in situations where other kids owe them nothing. They don't get that playing with their parents or with family friends who they are forced to socialize with on terms dictated by parents. "Education" is multifactorial and not just lessons. Proprioceptive input from games, e…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 10:44 AM
1

"Oh well, her loss" -Should be your mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 04:00 AM
8

It's slso good for kids' social development, esp in a world where tons of parents don't even have friends with kids for their kids to play with.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:48 PM
–

Other kids' parties are important bc that's your kid's life and social circle. Both parents should be invested in it because they want their kid to grow up socially skilled and, especially if they have a son, not turn into an incel chud who expects women to manage his social calendar because Mommy did it growing up. Eventually you hand that off to your kid when they become a teen while still offering support if they get in over their head and screening the parties for reasonableness so your kid …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:26 PM
–

Women select off a mix of ATTRACTION and PERSONALITY, and - for long term - DESIRED LIFESTYLE and FEASIBILITY OF GETTING IT TOGETHER. Where "nice guys" loudly and incessantly get it wrong is thinking "personality" = "people pleasing niceness and simping" and "verbally stated willingness to do chores or work super duper extra hard to 'provide'" where it really just means be fun to be around and flirty with her. NOTHING matters if you are boring or an insecure bundle of nerves; you are undateable …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:20 PM
1

Women who behave like this on dates ALSO repel good men. There's a reason the "job interview" date is a hated trope. Leaving only desperate men who will partake in her "interview process" and causing the femcel "there are no good men" narrative when her approach screens out the good ones. The only difference is there are fewer desperate women than desperate men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 03:29 PM
–

Also a lot of millenials have single friends they still go out with, including women, so we know what's up. Some people do and some people don't. And some of us still get interest when we go out even if we don't act on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:20 PM
0

Humans have evolved out of cavemen and hunter gatherer days. Women are not looking for "big strong man to subdue wild boars and big tall men to pick high berries." They are looking for someone they enjoy looking at, enjoy spending time with, who wants the same things out of a relationship and lifestyle that they do, and has a reasonable path to get it. There is scientifically much more data that shows greater "variability" in men to obtain those things - hence higher rates of homelessness and ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:17 PM
3

Your argument is that there is more variability in men than in women. And while that may be true from a data point, the point isn't the data, but what men who find themselves as outliers do with the data. My comment is regarding what men do with this analysis, not about the analysis itself. Analysis without action is ultimately academic drudgery.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:05 PM
0

That is sexual socialism and inhibits freedom. People will never go for it en masse for the same reasons they oppose it economically. Hence it requires force to implement, hence such threats will always be perceived as violent, and people will fight to the death to avoid such a "system." Fuck socialism.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:03 PM
4

The problem with analyzing "data" is that women are humans with individual preferences. Lonely guys attempt to appeal to everyone, and accordingly appeal to no one, because "everyone" is not a real person. And the attributes that have some correlation with "everyone" - like being capable of a certain lifestyle - will get him targeted by gold diggers because "resource," in the absence of anything else, will ONLY attract gold diggers. The other things that would help him - such as improving his lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:00 PM
5

The way that incels and extreme pill poppers here talk should be proof positive of that. Scorekeeping spending and activities during dates. Making demands. Whining jealously about her exes after questioning her incessantly to "screen" her. Do you think most normal people think those are fun activities? Normal guys go out, don't really give a shit about $30 on food on a night out because they'd probably spend just as much hanging with their buddies if they didn't have a date, try to have a good t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:54 PM
12

You honestly don't even need to say all that to refute the OP's silly point. The simplest counterpoint is there are plenty of awkward weirdos who are into gaming and anime to the exclusion of all else who manage to convince a woman to go out with them when she's young and inexperienced, have a relationship that lasts a few months, until she gets tired of his shtick and then they break up. That guy then goes on to struggle to date mightily, often for many years. Tons of Reddit posts in the dating…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:48 PM
8

It has nothing to do with lack of experience, otherwise, attractive/socially competent sixth and seventh graders would struggle mightily to be wanted by the girls in their class...but we know that isn't the case since little girls develop crushes, date boys, etc. This is yet another "give undesirable guys a chance please" post that somehow claims that guys who - not just some women - but most women overlook, are some hidden gem just because they self define as "nice." The baseline attraction com…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:43 PM
7

It's not that women can't love, it's that women can't love them, so they assume their experiences are universal. All this when they can't manage the baseline behavior they erroneously assume is the exclusive domain of "Chads" of being openminded, fun, positive, and enjoyable to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:44 PM
2

Most people's politics can't easily be boiled down into "conservative" and "liberal" and those who make politics their whole identity while attempting to do so often repel people from their lives, and end up in bad partnerships because someone's national politics tell very little about how they'd actually behave in a relationship or how they treat partners. There are a lot of "politically left" people with some very backwards attitudes that leftists would call "conservatives" (including leftists…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 06:16 PM
4

Most young PEOPLE are more "progressive" but become more conservative as they age. Political preferences and "hot button" issues often have little relevance in most people's day to day lives, and most people grow up and eventually realize that 1)making politics your whole personality annoys the fuck out of people and will leave you alone or surrounded only by those who also behave in cult-like ways about politics. 2)the system (in the West) may not be perfect but you can do quite well for yourse…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 05:56 PM
–

Friendships can cure general loneliness...but if someone envisions having a family, that's never going to approximate it. The problem is that people who lack both often attempt to find the second without having the first, which makes them undesirable (and severely limits their ability to find a partner)...and also puts undue pressure on anyone willing to consider them as a partner because they often tend to realize once they get a romantic partner that they also need friends, and then they tend …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 04:49 PM
7

So then you explain how that's shitty, and they either stop bringing it up or you break up w them. If they're not getting it, and youve had wild experiences of your own, you could start doing it to them to try and make them understand how it feels, but the relationship sounds like it's dying anyway so I wouldn't expect them to have a lightbulb moment and suddenly stop. Granted, this is also something I've only read about online and has happened in exactly 0 scenarios I or my friends have been in…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:06 PM
5

This mindset is depressing and explains why people who struggle to have sex have such trouble getting others to want sex when this is how they view it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:05 PM
6

Also different people have different dynamics. The person neurotically questioning her and comparing himself to his perception of the ghosts of her exes inherently gives off less sexy energy than the guy who has fun and flirts with her, even teases her sexually (this is a touch based non verbal thing) and leaves her wanting more each time...while behaving openmindedly and nonjudgmentally, giving her room to both feel attraction and let go of any hangups. Very different energy in those dynamics.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:34 PM
1

"My best guy friend in high school and college who always had a gf and never went more than a year without having women interested" "My Dad who was a role model of healthy masculinity, didn't struggle with women, and somehow got my Mom and the two of them were great together" "My sister, cousin, or best friend who was the best wingwoman I ever had and helped me immensely with tangible results as I branched out and started dating/meeting/attracting women" All of those would've been acceptable. Yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 12:50 PM
0

Flirting with a woman and being charismatic doesn't make a guy a piece of shit. This is something that every "nice guy" fundamentally doesn't understand. They just assume everyone is as inhibited and neurotic as he is, and when they see someone who isn't, he must be a "pushy asshole" because he's being more forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:26 PM
1

Yes I agree. You need to tell this to the sex educators that are teaching that flirting is sexual harassment Sex education exists to inform people about things like STD risk, pregnancy risk, and biological processes. It is not a "how to pick up women" class and should be viewed through that lens. No but would you be stupid if you listened to the advice of the trusted adults in your life? Depends. I grew up playing baseball and hockey. My parents had no knowledge of hockey whatsoever, my Dad peak…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:57 PM
0

Even if those women were friends, the validation of friends is still not necessary though. Especially because you are already receiving feedback from the women you're actually talking to in that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:44 PM
–

In reality, your competition in nightlife venues is often greater than on the apps. The guys getting even mild success going out are often taller, confident, socially experienced, and they're usually chasing the exact same goal with their friends: trying to hook up with hot chicks (or even ugly ifnthey grt desperate enough). Ive seen lately an influx of lower tier guys getting plastered and then spamming women with approaches at the bar thoughout the night too. Nightlife is naturally competitive…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:39 PM
1

There is a giant difference between "don't flirt with women" and "don't rape women." Teachers also give tons of dogshit advice. I hate math. A 9th grade teacher put me in Advanced Math where I struggled so much I dropped back to regular math. A college academic adviser wanted me to take calculus/analytical geometry instead of regular calculus, and that very nearly conspired with sociology to torpedo my scholarship. Should I have continued to take math classes, rather than majoring in a business …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:29 PM
2

There are "no pants subway rides" in multiple major cities every year where nobody gets arrested. "Well technically jaywalking is illegal" - okay, and so is going 56 in a 55. But who the fuck cares? The most real punishment for jaywalking is risking getting hit by a car, not worrying about some cop with nothing better to do giving you a ticket at 2AM when the roads are empty. There is a reason people who completely avoid all risks, and are "goody two shoes" are seen is dull, nervous, neurotic, s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:25 PM
-2

Women in my life Do you always listen to random people though? This is people pleasing behavior, which is why it comes off spineless. Who gives a fuck what those people think? They are not dating you, you are not using that line on them, so what they think is irrelevant. I’ve shared this story already but I was once criticized harshly by a group of female friends for using this pick up line “do I know you from somewhere” as if it is some crass inappropriate line. I mean it's really more cringe t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:23 PM
0

By who?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:08 PM
1

That makes you sound boring and lame though. Do you not jaywalk in the middle of the night at an intersection when there are no cars for miles? Do you always do under the speed limit, no matter what? Have you never ever run a red light, and never entered an intersection before the light turns yellow? When you're late at the airport, do you calmly walk to the gate and miss your flight because a sign in the airport says "No Running?" Do you chastise others who engage in these completely normal and…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:08 PM
-4

I was 100% discouraged from doing certain normal courtship behaviors. BY WHO???
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:05 PM
0

Being a goody two shoes is boring and not a good thing. It's someone who's not curious, not interesting, often doesn't take initiative, doesn't stand up for himself/herself, constantly tries to please others, overly cautious, and lacks any identity other than following someone else's rules. And it's usually someone who's a total fucking doormat.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 05:29 PM
-4

To tell boys that it’s basically never okay to express romantic or sexual desire NOBODY is telling them this. There is nothing wrong with expressing interest, talking to pretty women, being fun, dancing at a club, being silly in public, singing karaoke, telling jokes, pulling a woman who seems to vibing with you aside from the group and talking to her 1 on 1, etc. Society tells them that it's not okay to sperg out random horny musings at women, because that's fucking cringe. All of the other ind…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 05:26 PM
10

100% this. I like using baseball as an analogy for this a lot of times. You got some dumb motherfuckers that can mash holy hell out of a baseball who literally go up there and think "see ball, hit ball". And you've got some smart guys who go on to become MLB executives, architects of teams, who go up there and overthink themselves into knots until they're taking called strike 3 down the middle because they've calculated that 41% of his 0-2 pitches are curveballs in the dirt, and with arm-side ru…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 05:22 PM
0

And yet ironically the kids who raise themselves because they have an overworking single parent and thus get raised by pop culture...seem to do a better job at this than the kids who have two strict parents who care very much about them but have no clue how to teach their kid to be, for lack of a better term, not a total nerd when it comes to social skills. The solution is taking agency over one's own upbringing and results and not outsourcing that to parents or anyone else. At the end of the da…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 05:13 PM
–

Have you ever had sex with a virgin? It can be fucking awkward. You might have to constantly reassure them. Everything might have to be super gentle. Sometimes they think they want it, and then they don't, or they aren't sure and they have to stop and figure it out again, or you have to resettle them and make them comfortable and "try again" because she panics, tells you to wait, so you stop, and then it's "no I really do want this, please continue". It's like fits and starts sometimes. Especial…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:50 AM
1

#1 needs to adjust for age factors. When comparing people with no degree (which can easily include high schoolers) to people with post doctorate degrees who in some cases are more than 25 and looking at their most recent year, there are social differences in that age. The dataset didn't make this distinction (if it was considered at all) clear. Of course an 18 year old college freshman who would check "high school" as his highest level of education is going to be more likely to have 4 sexual par…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:26 AM
2

I preferred people I met IRL to online (which wasn't many anyway). But it was super common for people online to seem dry AF, and also for the people who were fun to message with online to be dry IRL when I actually met them. If they were fun IRL that bypasses all that. Besides, algorithms don't mean "didn't match" means she wasn't interested...her inbox could've got blown up and she never saw my message, she could've never seen my profile, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 08:23 PM
2

Porn is fake anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 03:00 PM
–

Remember: to the average socially stunted chud on Reddit, a skinnyfat 5/10 middle class media associate who can throw a bbq and successfully fill it with 20 friends is a Chad. None of OP's points track. I've yet to see anyone benefit from "status". It continues to be this nebulous concept that men who are hyperfixated on competing with other men pontificate about, but ultimately is always a different attribute.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:47 PM
0

In fairness, a career is external and should never be valued by anyone beyond as a means to an end. I would never value any woman (not even my wife) for her career. But what I would value is her ambition, drive to succeed, competence, etc. The things that are unique to her, and not simply the external manifestation of it. Most jobs would replace you in no time if you left or if they were forced by external factors to downsize. Too many people (especially in their 20s) spend time chasing validati…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:48 AM
1

No. However, men who've never experienced desirability tend to pedestalize it. It's the mindset of someone who's never won the lottery pedestalizing the joy of having the first number called match his ticket, because he's never even gotten that far. Even though you need way more than the first number to match to actually win anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:37 AM
3

LMAO. Using a video game as some sort of obscure pop culture reference. That's definitely the most Reddit brained thing I've seen today.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:24 AM
2

There is a metric fuckton of Iranian propaganda on Reddit, FWIW. Fuck sharia law, Islamist values (remember, I said Islamist and not Islamic, there's a very big difference!), and the global caliphate. Yet Reddit openly has tons of posters glorifying these things and trying to sell them to Westerners.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:22 AM
1

Nothing. But if someone shows up to a hobby space and that's his whole reason for being there, it's desperate and it will be obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:55 AM
1

It's not an insult to point out that you clearly aren't following the point and, rather than accepting reality, are choosing to get angry at the messenger. Find a woman who claims desperation is attractive. I'll wait. It isn't. You can either accept that and grow, or you can keep whining. But frankly, the whining is getting pathetic, you're not saying anything new or making any counterpoints (basically just a big, whiny "buttt whyyyyy?" every time), so I'm losing interest in this repetition.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:49 AM
0

I'm not being "ridiculous". You're either being dense, or the spectrum point you mentioned is personal and you're failing to comprehend my argument because the subtle social cue changes don't process for you. Desperation is unattractive, and guys who behave desperately are unattractive. You (individual you, not royal you) can't separate behavior from intentions and that's why you still aren't getting this.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:59 PM
2

No, it is. It changes everything about how he interacts in those spaces from his body language to how hard he tries, and it's offputting. Think of it like sales. People hate pushy salesmen. But the company rep who patiently answers all your questions, is funny and affable, knowledgeable about the product line, and doesn't push you to buy from him? You want to buy from him, not the annoying persistent guy who keeps pressuring you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:42 PM
7

It's more about that desperation is unattractive in any social context. The kids that show up to school desperate to make new friends usually don't either. The vibe you generally want is "open to" a relationship "if the vibe hits right" not "I want a gf soooo bad"
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:28 PM
2

I do remember reading at one point about something in Japan - sex workers who bordered on healthcare who would go around giving handjobs and the like to very disabled Japanese men (wheelchair-bound, etc.) It's definitely interesting to think about...but the key is, of course, consent. The thing that incels and some pillers here often overlook when they tell struggling men here to "just pay for it" - a sex worker operating under a safe paradigm still reserves the right to reject his money and say…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:03 PM
3

Sex when sold by a prostitute is a service. There are all kinds of services as well - fake friendships, etc. However, just because the experience can be bought and sold for a price does not mean that it is only a service, however. Many people choose to do these things in life for free - I'd drive my buddy to the airport or help him move, but a taxi or moving company would charge him for that. Similarly, a woman will gladly have sex with her boyfriend...but a prostitute would charge him, if the b…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:11 AM
10

Then join a men's league sports team. Most guys aren't interested in "wingmanning" for new people. That's usually something you'd only do for your bros you have a real rapport with and it takes time to get to that level of male friendship. I'm not wingmanning for someone till I know they'll behave appropriately around women. I'm not gonna be known as the guy that helped her end up with a creep because I didn't realize he was a creep. Wingmanning is also generally a mutual thing where you both ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 02:45 AM
5

It means literally what it says. Yes, cooking classes are extremely small. That means good odds you end up talking to someone at it. Alternatives (besides the other things I already listed) - Go to a food tasting, wine tasting, wine pairing, cheese tasting, etc...something slightly girl-coded but still with co-ed appeal. Women also love museums, history, culture, and local hotspots. Go on walking food tours. Go on a walking tour of a neighborhood. These are all spaces where participants often go…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 02:44 AM
8

Going out to bars as a single guy is weird. Because most people go to bars with friends to hang out and drink, not to hit on random women. But going out to cultural events as a single guy is not weird. Go to hobby spaces. Take a cooking class. Pick up a new sport. Join a meetup of foodies that tries new restaurants. Try Crossfit (much more social than regular gym). Events at museums. Those are the kinds of places where a guy showing up on his own can get traction...as long as you're there for th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 02:35 AM
1

okay that makes sense now
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 05:12 PM
1

I had a blast in college, not sure what you're referring to. I assume you meant this reply for the poster I replied to as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 01:22 PM
3

Same. Hell, I was mid-career switch when I met my wife just shy of 25, was still living at home for a couple more months to save on rent, and didn't have much money at all. But I had a plan (which changed, of course, but kept up the desired way of life), I had goals, I was fun to be around, and I did interesting shit all the time. College, I got interest just for being in the room and being reasonably sociable on more than one occasion. After college, similar. Worked in a field with lots of youn…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 10:30 PM
2

Yup, a lot are. Not a ton of personality. The younger women I talk to through hobbies, etc. all seem to have way more going on in their lives vs. the men. There's a big dropoff between the 25+ year old guys and the guys that are 18-22, on average. There are some guys who are VERY social in those ages, but most are either video game addicted, or way too nonchalant (and women hate this)...it's like stoner vibes, but these dudes don't even smoke. They just...work, and stay home. Dating 18-22 year o…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 10:22 PM
2

🤓Nerd alert🤓 It's way easier to advance in your career in your 30s than in your 20s anyway. Most people switch careers at some point anyway, so all that grinding in your 20s just leaves you with FOMO when you miss all the trips with friends, the nights out, the crazy stories, and the solidifying of key friendships for the rest of your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 10:17 PM
2

100% this. It's weird to be with someone when you're that age who just puts you into the person shaped hole in your life, and that's nongendered. Felt way too much like those foreign born or foreign valued women whose families dictated their mating preferences, and you could tell that regardless of her career, she was just looking for a husband of such and such race to make Mommy and Daddy happy and you weren't gonna build shit. As a mutt, that was always a fucking hard nope from me. Way better …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 10:15 PM
2

Also "the gym" for personality is socializing...and the neurotic weirdos today are so afraid of things not going well they don't try. They're the equivalent of the 110 pound milquetoast bitching about people thinking he's weak, but he's afraid to go to the gym because "what if he tries to pick a weight off the rack to use and can't and everyone else in the gym sees him fail?"
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:53 PM
7

The grievance part used to get men laughed out of redpill spaces until they moved onto the improvement phase. Hence the F in "AFC" among other things. OG redpillers even used to say the anger phase was completely stupid and unproductive, though they acknowledged some men "needed" to go through it as some form of catharsis. OG redpill had its flaws but it wasn't this whiny new breed of lame asocial guys demanding women love them as they are in their non-improved state.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:50 PM
1

Yet most other men see ppb'd and dudes with mail order brides as equally pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:36 PM
–

Tell me, would you still be happy at this moment if you never met your wife? Of course I would. Life would've just gone differently and I would've not known what would've happened with my wife so I wouldn't have "missed" it, I just would've found a similar happiness that would've looked different...though I would've still gone after the high priority stuff like a house and property, sexual compatibility. I've absolutely had "opportunities" since meeting my wife, I just never acted on them becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:32 PM
–

It's not even masculinity. These dweebs don't talk to women or leave the house except for work an errands. They don't banter or flirt. They hate parties. They don't socialize in groups. They have no friends, online friends only, or friends just like them who also only hang around with other men. Rather than talk to women or do interesting things where they will meet women, they whip themselves into a frenzy "studying" women, and become bitter and angry at the world for not being "fair" just beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:35 PM
–

They care about their "masculinity" so much because they don't perceive themselves as having much, so it's an insecurity for them. Men at peace with their masculinity aren't calling themselves "unmasculine" for being shy, and while they may be introverted, they are at least capable of extroversion, talking to new people, going to parties or other group social settings, and flirting/ bantering. They want to be bitter and fatalistic because most of them are autistic and don't understand how you ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:25 PM
0

Exactly, it's more about your risk aversion than about efficacy. Thank you for proving my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:49 PM
6

Hence the importance of not being a pussy seeking penis missile when you're there, which was part of my comment. Funny, I still have no problems interacting with women in mixed gender spaces, and that's before they find out I'm married. Obviously, I'm not looking for anything at this point but it's really interesting that all the Gen Z women in particular are sick of stoner faced socially stunted chuds with the thousand yard stare, or weirdos desperate to impress them, which seems to be most men…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 09:47 AM
1

...And yet the expected return on lottery tickets is shit (maybe 50% of your "investment" lost, lifetime) vs. Index funds (3-6% annual return on average, in perpetuity). The math ain't mathin. For lotto tickets or dating apps, which is why people are leaving both, and only people who suck at math (or irl communications, or both) are staying.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 08:30 AM
1

It's a second tier strategy for most of them. Roses and superlikes don't mean anything. A lot of women get them for free from the apps to keep them happy enough, and given what we know about stuff like the Ashley Madison scam profiles (for examlle), it wouldn't surprise me if the apps had staffers posing as single women on the apps to drive engagement. IRL banter with a woman > a superlike. A kiss at the end of the night > a match, or even an accepted first date offer that still might turn into …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 08:26 AM
2

AI also constantly conflates "online" with shitty dating apps. Most people meeting "online" are meeting through online communities or through friends they both slready know IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 08:13 AM
1

That's a combination of risk aversion and low investment more than efficacy. It's buying lottery tickets and penny stocks when buying an index fund and holding for 30 years is the better ROI
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 08:05 AM
1

"Online" =/= shitty dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 08:01 AM
1

It's not a tangent at all. Your claim is that talk to women IRL is bad advice. I gave specific reasons it's good advice for the men who aren't doing it. The "ROI" will always be shit on apps. The ratio of men to women is enormous, some of the "women" are OnlyFans spammers, or men "studying female dating app behaviors", and the app gives 0 fucks if anyone pairs off as long as it can frustrate men just enough to keep paying money for more likes, more swipes, priority in her inbox, etc. You get lit…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 08:00 AM
6

They aren't necessarily going to bars, but they are going out. And the highest quality women aren't getting smashed and hooking up with rando's anyway. But they are meeting guys IRL. Hell, college is literally easy mode for dating. And you'll get further in college with the best girls by being involved in campus life sober and making friends in your dorms, and having a social network, and talking to the women in your class / taking good notes / working with them on group projects and carrying yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:46 AM
2

The purpose of socializing IRL is exercise. Socialization is like a muscle...if you don't use it, it atrophies. People who are chronically online or staring at computer screens usually suck at socialization in comparison to their more well socialized peers. "Talking to women in person" is about building those skills, often by interacting with women in low pressure situations where the goal isn't "get a date" but just "be comfortable in your own skin, not wanting anything from women, and ultimate…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 07:38 AM
–

...And yet more incels self report as politically left than right. I'd also love to see a more nuanced study done than the one I'm refereing to that separates leftists and alt-right out from basic left and right as I'd posit political extremism bears significant correlation with inceldom. More sports isn't a bad thing, but the classic leftist ideas wouldn't do anything except give government more power and taxing authority and leave people poorer in the aggregate.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 09:33 PM
–

Same. Eventually you just start avoiding people like that because it's easier and nobody wants to put up with their whining and guilt trips for not always focusing on their "problems" and not pushing other people aside to focus them...and then their crashouts when they get called out. Fucking exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:39 PM
–

This. And men also don't also want to play therapist for women, and most of us aren't desperate to put up with that just to get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:26 PM
–

This is true. The solution is control of your own thought patterns to not fall into doomerism and anger. This is why people rarely want to be around negative people who trauma dump on them. Interestingly, a study came out recently (on my phone so dont have a link but it can be googled) showing that mental health is somewhat correlated with mental health of your teen peers when you are an adolescent. So hanging with negative, depressed, toxic, or anxious people will make you more likely to be tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 04:54 PM
2

Both the man and the woman in this story sound pathetic. Her for the obvious of being a cheating lowlife when she should've just broken up with the guy. Him for being a doofus sycophant who pedestalized and smothered his gf rather than being a real person and just going and having fun with her. Stop treating girlfriends like idols where you're her biggest fan and constantly trying to impress her. That shit is annoying and unattractive. That a shitty woman would leave a guy like that is only comm…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 04:39 PM
1

The solution to that is to socially marginalize the individual assholes who do this, not to create systemic legislation to solve what is ultimately an issue with one individual. This is invariably where collectivist logic goes horribly off the rails. To put it another way: A person points out that there is a law treating two people differently based on protected characteristics (eg "married women can't open bank accounts without their husband" in 1950, or "black people can't buy or rent in this …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 08:19 PM
0

Of course. I'm not making the point to call you out specifically. But there are a lot of people who misguidedly think that "equality" means treating inferior cultures and value systems as equal to Western ones, which will actively impede creating greater equality globally since those systems are naturally oppressive. The fact that the very same people who think that are often the same ones professing to be advocating for equality (again, not saying you, just saying in general) is therefore very …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 08:09 PM
7

Unfortunately the only way to actually promulgate global equality would be to be honest that not all cultures are created equal. Some cultures intentionally keep people poor and dependent on the government, or rely on exploitative labor and undercutting developed countries in terms of unit cost, and those value systems gotta go in order for there to be actual freedom or even a loose sense of equality globally. This is the inconvenient truth that people (not necessarily you) overlook whenever equ…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 06:02 PM
-2

Marxists attempt to create struggle hierarchies because it's foundational to how they understand society, and the constant division keeps people bitter, jealous, and angry, which is the only way an ideology as fucked as Marxism could ever make inroads in an otherwise successful society. The solution is always to treat people as individuals and to call out individual racists/sexists/etc. when they show their true colors. Not to push collectivist narratives, which don't really help anything. Addre…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 05:29 PM
8

To Marxists, it is. This is why they attempt to co-opt equality movements and ultimately drive them towards Marxist ends, and why movements like feminism have veered so far off course that they now align with interests that actually hurt women (similar to how LGBTQ is increasingly marginalizing gays to placate transgender interests) and how racial equality has devolved into reverse racism, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 05:19 PM
2

This likely wouldn't work as most people would probably just use it as a stand in for the overall package. Also, some people are terrible conversationalists and would likely vote others terrible for not being able to carry conversation, so I don't think this would have any real value for this 2nd reason either. As a married guy, I'm not on dating apps (and only briefly dabbled in them when I was single), but I have no idea how people would rate me. I'd imagine interesting people would say I'm in…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 05:12 PM
–

Simps and white knights tend to not get any, so I don't understand this question. Women don't get attracted to guys who do "favors" for her, and whiteknighting is unnecessary - women can defend themselves verbally, they don't need men to do it, and in cases of actual violent threats, defending a woman from assault is not considered whiteknighting (and usually falls on paid employees like security, police, etc. anyway, or a woman's actual boyfriend or husband...not some stranger) In this sub, som…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 02:56 PM
–

People who constantly obsess over power are insufferable and usually don't have any. Talking to a woman you're physically attracted to because you want to get to know her a little and see if she's possibly also interested in you - and worth your time and effort to spend time with - is hardly conceding any "power" at all. You CAN walk away at any time, you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 02:39 PM
-1

Leftism lost the last election for the left. Taking scholarships away from women to benefit athletes who went through some portion of male puberty, decriminalizing offenses that put the mentally ill and drug traffickers away before they can collectively directly or indirectly harm victims (usually women or the elderly), removing pretrial bail for violent criminals allowing them to reoffend, open borders and no vetting of third world aliens who come here illegally with misogynistic cultures and r…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 02:03 AM
9

IMO there's more layers to it. Being: Chad>Stacy>Becky>Good guy Greg>Karen>Broomhilda>basic Bob>Mortimer the incel
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 10:24 PM
8

😂😂😂 The New Balance sneakers. ⚰ But yeah some guys really do be looking like that
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 07:28 PM
6

Nah, it's too entertaining. Plus sometimes some legitimately clueless guys come here and actually take good advice from the posters who give it, and it keeps them out of the incel/grifter bandwagon, which is a win for society.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:51 PM
1

There a lot of people in the comments and the OP who don't seem to understand the difference between "offers" and "insists"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 02:03 PM
–

While I do generally agree with that, it has to be tempered by the reality of expectations. There are a lot of guys who fundamentally don't know themselves who fell into video games and other BS "habits" out of boredom/a lack of options, and claiming that they should "love themself as they are" without making efforts to diversify interests or go out of their comfort zone is going to be actively counterproductive for them. Otherwise, that's generally part of competence and confidence which falls …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 10:53 PM
–

I'm telling loser men to step their game up and stop whining, because whining won't get them what they want. Maybe switch off the videogames, anime, Reddit, ragebait, and the same failing Match Group apps that 2/3 of women (arguably the better 2/3) aren't on... and go do interesting things and cultivate social skills including banter and flirting. Seems like a better start than complaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 04:47 PM
–

See also: socialists. Ironically the same types on Reddit screeching about threatening to co opt struggling men into an incel revolution often miss how DSA types are doing the same thing to them with leftist politics that trend towards authoritarianism. A LOT of leftist incels, too...and their support for leftist causes ends at feminism in many cases. A lot of conservatives and moderates OTOH show less misogyny towards women than these guys, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 04:45 PM
–

I want to emphasize that either all types of sexual desires are reasonable or none, and that all of this is massively one-sided. This kind of binary thinking is actively hurting you. "Either all 5'8" women with <25 BMI between 18 and 30 are attractive or none" (including single moms, burn victims, women with chlymidia/gonorrhea/herpes, golddiggers, Islamist Muslims who believe in sharia law, Christian prudes, promiscuous women, sex workers, formerly fat women with excess skin, asexuals, bi women…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:54 PM
–

The issue with "loser men" is that they do not offer what women want. What do women want? Some measure of physical attraction, which is highly subjective, but men can meet one to a few of several different aesthetic archetypes to have some appeal to at least some women. "Alternative twink", "athletic", "teddy bear", "musician/artistic", "intellectual", "professional", to name a few. The basic level of confidence and competence to go after what he wants in all matters that do not involve other pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:58 AM
2

Most people young don't have confidence to go after what they want. Step 1 is fixing that then. That's something most boys are working on in middle and high school...not in their mid 20s and 30s or beyond. Men realize that carrying around crushes and pedestalizing people and experiences is a fucking waste of time, so the optimal strategy is to put your best foot forward, shoot your shot, and accept the result even if you don't get what you want because that frees you up to move onto the next thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:27 AM
2

Do you live in a major city? You can literally "travel" by exploring your own city. Know where the good places to eat are. Have a menu of cuisines available, and a list of places under each category. Know where the cool free things to do are. Know where the good spots to go out are, know the ones with gimmicks that are kinda fun and have them as a selling point. Know about culture...pick any 1-2 genres that interest you - art exhibits, dance performances, concerts, movies/plays - and know what's…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:25 AM
5

I don’t have to join book clubs, sewing meetups, or other things I don’t enjoy to find women if I can meet them in more ordinary places like work, school, friend groups, etc. The point of joining activities - and they don't have to be exclusively primarily feminine ones like the ones you listed - is that they make you infinitely more interesting to the women you meet at work, school, or through friend groups when you actually have a conversation with her than sitting around all day gaming on Dis…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:18 AM
3

All good advice. Nice guys are boring so they either end up with boring women or they end up settled for by women who've exhausted all other options but still want a relationship. The solution to being a nice guy is to stop being a boring doormat pushover and claiming it as virtue. Figure out what you want in life and make a realistic plan to get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:11 AM
3

Go anywhere on her or any dating related debate. Women’s arguments often boil down to, “you just want sex and that’s why you get rejected”. Because this approach oozes desperation, because desperation is pathetic, and relationship-minded women don't want to date pathetic men, and casual-sex-minded women don't want to fuck pathetic men. They often complain about commitment and emotional unavailability, while hooking up with a guy and having basically no real relationship outside of that. Most cas…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:07 AM
5

This subreddit popped up on my feed and was interesting. There seems to be six different kinds of posters here: Confused men who struggle and don't really "get" women. Hardened incels and/or manospherians who want to recruit other men to their cause cuz...solidarity or something. Guys who either pulled or figured out how to pull while still young enough to experience lots of different things and who have a good handle on how attraction and compatibility work. Women in happy relationships or dati…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 10:41 AM
–

Right? These guys just tell on themselves daily. Women's lust is specific and contextual. It isn't scattershot or haphazard. It requires a specific man, not just a specific looking man. Most men are similar in their sexual values around women. Losers ooze desperation, however, and claim to be willing to stick their dicks in any woman which implies an unholy mix of desperation and low standards, not any reflection of "male nature" in the population of men who aren't desperate or with low standard…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 01:53 PM
-1

Reading body language and understanding social norms is table stakes in life. Either deal with it, or accept always being seen as the weirdo.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 01:43 PM
1

Because it IS untrue. Get off Reddit and go outside. Attractive single women are everywhere. They aren't waiting around in some Fortnite lobby or some gambling forum. Hell, all those Insta-baddies that Hoover up all the likes on Instagram who are so "addicted to their phones" - where the hell do you think their "thirst trap" photos are coming from? Hint: if a bunch of them are at the beach, it means she goes to the beach. Also, fun fact: pointing out the obvious isn't "simping". You know what is…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 01:40 PM
-2

☝️ he's right you know
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 09:55 AM
–

Stop im fucking dying 😂😂😂😂 As if these nerds would even get this far. No sexual socialist revolution required. Hell, an insta baddie could go so far as to tell these chuds "Let's fuck" and they wouldn't know what to do. Make kiss me eyes at some dork while he asks her what her favorite video game or anime is. They'd fumble on the 1 yard line and they're mad about kickoffs. These guys are scared of "assholes" in social settings but somehow would fight to the death for government rationed pussy. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 09:44 AM
–

It's sexual socialism. And just like economic socialism, would just make everyone miserable, so people actively fight it. Free people will fight and kill if needed to avoid it. Especially because the OP's premises are wildly inaccurate. 80% of men are not incel permavirgins, or oofy-doofy married men with body counts of 1 whose wives hate their guts and never have sex with them anymore. Most first marriages in the West work, especially once you factor out grey divorce and Boomers who were marryi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 09:30 AM
0

Boring and shy is a "bad personality." You're literally uninteresting and afraid of basic socialization.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 08:52 PM
–

Save this post as quick reference for all the doofuses that swear they want passive, agreeable women. This is Exhibit A of why I didn't tend to go for those types of women: you never knew where you stood, and if everything was "okay" nothing was ever "good" or "great" or "awesome". A lot of shy women aren't people pleasing and spineless though, and this is where compatibility comes in. This is the equivalent of the lame-duck guy who asks a woman out and she says "what did you have in mind?" and …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 04:08 PM
18

The average man is a guy with friends and a job, a social life, extroversion capability (even if he's more of an introvert), and social hobbies that he spends time on that don't involve screens. Not some allergic to sunlight Redditor screeching about "but um ackshually" on threads and writing whole ass screeds about "females" like he works for Discovery Channel as a scriptwriter.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 03:54 PM
3

This literally almost never happens. Women almost never explicitly say "no", they soft reject them putting into the friendzone, giving them a sliver of hope just so that she can use them in the future in case her main options aren't available and she needs an emotional tampon. No, this is the bullshit lie that "nice guys" tell themselves to justify being pathetically persistent because it's psychologically comfortable for them versus acceptance that they've been rejected. Women do this to be pol…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 03:03 AM
2

Very underrated comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 02:57 AM
1

Holy shit. Some of you guys really have no idea what you're talking about. Literally no woman is "friendzoning" a guy because he takes a little bit of time to have a few conversations with her, banters and flirts, before trying to make plans with her. They're not even friends at that point, they just know each other more than in passing, and it isn't some pathetic hamfisted elevator pitch "cold approach." Guys only put themselves in the friendzone when they spend months orbiting women WITHOUT ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 02:54 AM
1

Read all of them. Yeah, there are a very small number that worked out, but a bunch of them are literal nightmare fuel: https://www.boredpanda.com/girls-gave-nice-guy-chance-reddit/ https://www.buzzfeed.com/shelbyheinrich/nice-guys-chance-stories https://np.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/a2cjc2/women_who_gave_nice_guys_a_chance_how_did_it_work/?solution=a18d74086c8936a0a18d74086c8936a0&js_challenge=1&token=7afd7253fec22262ff1c52b1703fe9ecf9d0be2e0dc99aeaff3e0785606d7adb&jsc_orig_r= https://np.red…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:30 AM
2

That doesn't track with women's lived experiences at all, sorry. Seen it w my own eyes too. The guys that are as spineless as you say arent even talking to women, let alone asking them out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:16 AM
1

Not just a spelling error but you're literally using the word "compatibility" wrong too. Refer to my comment 2 (of my) comments ago. And yes, on a debate sub, language matters if you're trying to make your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:24 PM
1

Yes, which is the correct usage. There is no "complimentary" in relationships other than "compliments" people give one another: complimentary adjective a: expressing praise or admiration : expressing or containing a compliment b: FAVORABLE c: given free or as a courtesy or favor None of that has to do with, as you put it in your previous post, "being two parts which improve the other." That would be complementary, which is what I said in my previous comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:17 PM
3

You're right, most don't shoot up a school. They just crash out and argue with a woman about her reasons for rejection, then make her explain every one while trying to disprove her "logic." In what universe does that make a woman reconsider a man? There are literally thousands, probably millions of examples of this behavior: documented video interactions, internet stories, "tell me about the time a nice guy asked you out" threads on Reddit, etc. That IS harmful. Most people don't want to sit aro…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:12 PM
1

It's readily apparent that "nice" language is no more effective at getting "nice guys" to drop their performative people pleasing either, though. But hey, maybe if they can learn to stand up to another man on the Internet calling them a submissive doormat, maybe they can learn to say "actually, as a date" when a woman asks him "as friends?" when he tries to ask her out. Better than continuing what's gotten him nowhere so far, and the mollycoddling that hasn't incentivized him to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:09 PM
2

"Complimentary" means free. Or literally "of or pertaining to a compliment." Complementary is about strengths that neutralize weaknesses. Compatibility isn't about that. Two people can both suck ass at gardening and at house maintenance, vow to live in a city apartment their whole lives, and not be complementary in either respect while still being compatible. Two people who both suck ass at gardening and house maintenance, one of whom wants to live in a suburban house, and the other who wants to…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:06 PM
1

They're meant to be illustrative, to break flawed thinking. Associate the unfavorable behavior with pejorative phrasing, and it becomes disfavored. Associate the favorable behavior with positive phrasing, and it becomes favored. Basically the opposite of what "nice guys" do. They legitimately tell themselves that unattractive behaviors are good, and so they reinforce that psychologically, keep repeating them, and results don't matter...even as it would stand to reason that rejection after reject…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:54 PM
1

Disagree. This is where social cues, body language, etc. come in. Most people are really fucking easy to read.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:47 PM
5

No, that's compatibility. Complementary is "My wife hates financial planning and I hate doing taxes, but she is okay with doing taxes and I'm okay with doing financial planning, so we divide those tasks in the way that is best for us, and that covers all the bases."
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:46 PM
2

They are the same people. And the fact these nice guys constantly go writing screeds on the internet after they get rejected whining about other people's selection criteria is proof positive they aren't as "nice" as they seem. Some women felt bad for those guys - "oh he always gets rejected, I guess I'll give him a shot even if he's a little bit boring" and then it turns into a bubbling cauldron of insecurity and progressively more insane demands until she ends it and swears off nice guys foreve…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:43 PM
1

Kind people can accept that gracefully and go on their merry way if they have to. Performatively "nice" people will lash out, argue, etc. while claiming to "just be asking a question". Meanwhile their pores ooze entitlement.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:40 PM
5

Compatibility doesn't mean identical. Compatibility means: My interests likely overlap at least somewhat with her interests. My values strongly overlap with her values. My interests that she does not share are not dealbreakers for her, or she is interested in learning about them. Her interests that I do not share with her are not dealbreakers for me, or I am interested in learning about them. There is sexual compatibility in terms of libido, anatomy, and sexual preferences in bed. Our personalit…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:38 PM
0

It's duplicitous because if he asks her out, she might say "as friends?" and then how does he respond? "No, as a date," - great. Then it's either a date, or she says no. No bullshit accusations of the "friendzone". "Oh, I don't know" when he knows he wants to date her? Mealy-mouthed bullshit. "Sure, yeah, as friends" when he knows he wants to date her? Duplicitous. It's not hard to communicate directly with a woman so there's no doubt as to his intentions while still taking time to build a basic…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:31 PM
1

Or just get out of your feelings, recognize every person is a new opportunity/fresh start, and stop carrying all this baggage around with you for no reason. Y'all make every rejection a referendum on your sexuality, and then expect adding that weight to every interaction with women and expect that it won't cloud your body language and behavior as you pile on yourselves over a lifetime. It's not that serious. Millions of women. All it takes is one good one. Get out of your head and go find her. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:25 PM
-1

It's actually pretty simple, and it doesn't need to be "convincing" it just needs to be true. Let's ask another way: You think women are attracted to spineless people pleasing pushovers with no standards?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:21 PM
1

Most people are polite, and then situationally kind. The test of how kind someone is, is how they react to bad news that must be delivered, or being told no where the consent of another is required for a yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:20 PM
-1

That's actually not true at all, and you should see all the horror stories from women who "gave the 'nice guy' a chance."
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:17 PM
1

Correct, most good people are kind, not nice. Nice is usually spineless people pleasing, aka "I have no identity, so my identity is serving you, Dear Woman, to impress you...so please tell me what you want/need and I will do it because I want you to like me." That kind of energy is unattractive AF.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:53 PM
4

No response is a response. Getting cancelled on at the last minute repeatedly with no plans or intent to reschedule is effectively a no. "Yeah definitely, let me get back to you to confirm though" with no follow up when specific dates are proposed is effectively a no. Her finally giving in and agreeing to a work lunch with a guy who has badgering her where she immediately goes back to the office after exactly 30 minutes is not "stringing him along," it's throwing him a bone to behave in socially…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:52 PM
-1

They need to grow up. Pining after something you don't put your hat in the ring for, not getting it, and then throwing a temper tantrum is pathetic behavior. You don't do the same thing with jobs, with money, with friendships, with seats in a firstyear college class, or with tickets to a concert or sporting event...or literally anything else in life. Build a rapport, get to know her a little, don't call it a "friendship" and then ask her out. If she says no, walk away with your pride and dignity…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:46 PM
6

What I take issue with is the notion that this concern is some silly thing only a socially stunted autist incel would dream up. Most men are enjoying the company of their wives on a day to day basis, not daydreaming "what if" scenarios for 15, 20, 25+ years from now.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 11:29 PM
2

I'm kinda fine with it. I view this sub as largely to debate Western paradigms in dating, and fewer weird foreign perspective posts ("hurr durr money status resources" kinda claptrap) wouldn't be a bad thing IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 09:34 PM
9

Okay, and? How many of those women have you dated through those ages. If you're in your 20s still, of course women in their 40s aren't going to be attractive to you. That changes when you have a great relationship and great sex with a woman multiple times per week, see her every day, and then eventually wake up and realize both of you are late 30s while continuing all of that. That doesn't just happen because you "get a girlfriend" and start imagining the future. It happens because you see each …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:54 PM
3

This has not been true for me. To use just one example, I was in a relationship for over a decade. The sex got pretty boring towards the end. It was no one's fault. It's the norm with the passage of time. We're still close friends. Sounds like you stopped trying or doing new things. That doesn't have to do with looks then. A good sex life is something both people have to commit to in order to keep things interesting. Any sex will get boring if it becomes rote or repetitive, or if either partner …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:33 PM
13

Do what? Wax nostalgic about when they were both younger? That's totally normal. Most people aren't looking forward to being 80 and decrepit and not being able to do things. Most people wax nostalgic about their own looks and abilities when they get older, too. That doesn't mean a guy is literally comparing his wife to other 18 year olds, and if he is, he's an asshole, and not the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:01 PM
-1

In a healthy sense, there aren't. Job interviews are about performing, answering questions, and a lot of talking. Dating is about seeing if you can have a good time together, with romantic undertones. Talking is part of that, but if it's the whole thing, you're doing it wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:36 PM
2

Literally the Movember foundation. How much have you donated or fundraised for them?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:34 PM
1

Yes I get that. But these guys also claim that they’re the nice ones who women overlook due to women being too cruel and superficial to appreciate them. Yes, they're "nice guys" (with quotes). Everyone knows that, and everyone knows that's not a good thing. They're sitting on the sidelines playing make believe while purporting to speak for the men who are and have been meeting women, getting into relationships, having sex, getting married, having families, and aging. It's clear from their postin…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:55 PM
4

Most guys who can't do it online have: The same 3 indoor prisoner-of-war style pics on their profile: bathroom mirror selfie, work selfie, and then one of gym selfie or home at his computer selfie. In none of the three pics is he smiling. In none of the three pics is there a warm or a bright color. Just whites, greys, blacks, and the same dull neutral expression or scowl in each. No sunlight to be found. Screams "no friends" and "I needed a pic for a dating app so I just took one with my phone r…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:03 PM
29

A bunch of incels who sit around all day hypothesizing about what they'd think of their imaginary wives in 20-40 years if they could actually find a partner is hardly representative of "men."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:51 PM
5

FWIW these guys' opinions don't generally mirror that of people who are actually partnered. They tend to just be chronically single guys or incels hypothetically talking about their future fantasy wives and how they'd see them in 20 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:50 PM
16

fr, these guys pedestalize everything about sex and attractive women. I swear sometimes this sub is just a forum for their FOMO. They want "validation" and to believe "no man got better than they did in life" more than they want "hot women" or "sex."
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:47 PM
22

The funny thing about looks is that when you see someone every day, they still look the same as the day you met in many respects. Hell, look in the mirror. You probably still see yourself as a teenager or 20 something year old in some respects. Unless someone massively puts on weight, suffers through some kind of severe injury, or something crazy, they tend to mostly look the same over time. Plus facial features don't really change all that much, and when you actually find your person, that conn…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:44 PM
7

They turn to the manosphere because overwork culture, ghetto hood/trailer park culture, third world "male provider" culture, and fatherlessness have distorted norms around what masculinity is...and leftist progressive bullshit is throwing around stupidity like "femboys can be masculine too" which is simply weird and wrong when attempting to normalize childish behaviors in Marxist attempts to undermine nuclear family structure. The unique confluence of these factors, coupled with society's inabil…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 10:15 PM
1

It's really not that hard. You don't have "a few hours" you have some amount of time. You should keep it casual and light (but not nonchalant, cuz that's just lame), and not label things. You're not "friends." You're just acquaintances. Introduce banter and flirting if you're interested, see if there's reciprocation. If you like her, ask her out (after you've built that rapport and gotten to know her a little). No "friendship" to sabotage. She says no? Pull back, unless you want a friendship. Pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 04:01 AM
2

They are getting dates, but they have internalized narratives from porn and manospherians re: "Chad and casual sex" to such a wild degree that - even in the not-as-common-as-the-manosphere-would-have-you-believe instances that do occur - they fail to see how a drunk 18 year old co-ed at a rager hooking up with a random guy in college she thinks is hot when she's still self-discovering and rebelling from 17 years living under strict parents...and the same version of that girl they are dating at 2…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 03:52 AM
2

The bulk of that is far too cerebal and academic to be functional in the practical arena where political theory inevitably must be deployed. You cannot decouple Marxism from Marxist rhetoric designed to promote Marxism when discussing policy since one necessarily follows from the other since the former is used by Marxist sympathetic parties to promote Marxist ideology. What you dismiss as "populism" is the salient practical application of theory, and extremely relevant to discussing the merits o…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 03:41 AM
4

But as a critique, it exists to make Marxist "solutions" more palatable among the general public, and thus the critique should be judged as insidiously as the ideology it upholds as its end. Of course free markets have flaws. No system is perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:09 PM
3

And an obsession with anime. It's like an inc, er, "struggling man" Triple Crown.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:00 PM
2

To the guys who obsess over "hierarchical power", anybody who has employees who reports to them might as well be Emperor.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:58 PM
5

Critical theory is not "sound". It was a post-Marxist rebranding of class struggle into immutable characteristic struggle because the upward mobility of workers in the West prevented socialism from ever gaining a real foothold. Hence the choice by Marxist and post-Marxist "scholars" (read: academic activists) to choose to root oppressor/oppressed frameworks in more permanent characteristics that carry "struggle" that can't be alleviated with promotion or savings. To make struggle such an identit…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:35 PM
5

That can easily be fixed through normalizing parental leave for parents and preventing discrimination based on parental status. Men want paternity leave too. No radical socialism needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:17 PM
2

The hypocrisy of socialism is that it purports to be godless, but it's really just anti-God (capital G) Under socialism, the State is the god and socialists exist to serve it. Hence, whoever control the State is, effectively, god. They'll ree and screech and claim that "that's ackshually communism, ackshually" to anyone who dares to point that out, despite 200 years of proof across numerous societies that it's absolute truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:15 PM
-1

Hurricane Katrina occurred in inner city areas which extensively import third world culture. Point still stands. There weren't roving gangs of loser men raping and pillaging in lower Manhattan after 9/11, nor in the Pacific Palisades after the fire, nor in hundreds of other examples of non-third-world culture in recent memory.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 04:36 PM
1

There are a lot of ideas being conflated here, each of which needs individual addressing: I see women online always saying stuff like "I just want a man who gives the bare minimum!" which on paper consists of generally just being kind, respectful, loyal, and maybe a few other preferences physical or personality. but seems pretty reasonable right? but the truth is that a woman's definition of a bare minimum, ends up being an impossible demand of 100 traits and features a man must have or hes deem…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 04:29 PM
1

While this raises very important points, I think the deeper conversation here is on culture (not necessarilt "men"), and that despite all the leftist kumbaya propaganda, not all cultures are created equal. Third world cultures have shit values and it's not racist to point that out. In those kinds of scenarios, I'd be the guy armed to the teeth gathering like minded citizens to work together and protect our women (and men) from what are, effectively, barbarian hordes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 04:09 PM
0

This is why every civilized society uses the threat of violence or restricting freedoms to uphold the socially agreed upon order. And it's why leftist daydreams of a police-and-prison-and-military free world will never come to fruition.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 04:03 PM
–

Developing humor is not "changing" your personality unless you are a soulless, joyless, miserable person who is incapable of finding humor in anything. Developing extroversion and charisma is not "changing" your personality unless you are asocial or antisocial. Developing confidence is largely a byproduct of actually liking yourself, which is the reward when you put work into yourself and like the finished product. Both of these should be enhancements to a personality, not a "change".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 06:01 AM
-2

Single payer will not reduce costs. The solution is decoupling it from employment entirely, requiring employers to compensate employees the cost of the employer's share of premiums, and having an individual mandate that allows people to buy coverage from any insurer they like, by state. Subsidize those who are means tested and can't afford it. All single payer will do is clog the system, delay care due to a dearth of providers, and support bloared administrations that have no incentive to run le…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:45 PM
-2

Bernie is a fucking geriatric Marxist communist who calls his brand of leftism "Democratic Socialism" (same thing hardcore Communists were calling themselves in the 60s), and has been enriching himself off public life for decases like any good socialist/Communist. The world will be a better place when he finally kicks the bucket. Current leftism rooted in Marxism is terminal. Alt right is similar. Normalize marginalizing extremists again.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:35 PM
1

Because, unfortunately, there are. I don't push the idea, they do a damn good job of that themselves. These guys usually don't have friends, are socially inept, have niche interests that they bloviate on about in ridiculous detail to people who aren't interested, and are as offputting to other men as they are too women. But they seem to be all over the internet complaining about everything all the time and spewing desperation anywhere they go. They'd be worth at least trying to help if they coul…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 06:08 AM
11

...Who's gonna tell him...?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:39 AM
6

Planning dates is actually a huge advantage as a guy. When I was single, I could pick fun shit to do that was different and that I actually wanted to do. And women loved it. In many ways, it must suck ass being an attractive woman with a lot of interests and wanting to do fun shit, liking a guy who asks you out, and then having to suffer through the same boring ass sushi date because you like him and don't want to reject his idea since he took the initiative to propose it, but you've literally b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:36 AM
10

no idea, but it certainly isn't the english language lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:34 AM
8

A simple maxim is a woman has to be able to visualize what being with you is like...how it feels. Vivid descriptions in the profile, passionate writing, bright colorful pics that read as snippets of his life as opposed to POW style mugshots to analyze his face and bodyfat% (which women aren't doing). Woman friends can't always articulate it, and as many as 2/3 of single women aren't on the apps anyway. Most guys are clueless. They don't realize how cookie cutter most guys' profiles are. Hell, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:23 AM
17

They constantly complain about not getting matches when their profile is "up for anything, looking to meet people and see where it goes" and about generic interests as a list with no details...and they have the same 3 profile pics that scream no friends: home bathroom mirror selfie, work selfie, gym mirror selfie or home-at-computer selfie (depending)...and in 0/3 pics is he smiling. And then they wonder why women arent sliding into their DMs unless theyre trying to sell him onlyfans Ive helped …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:43 AM
18

Some women do lust after "average men." The catch is that those "average men" are fun to be around. For that, incels call them simps. And asocial gamers who hate parties and obsess over male hierarchies in their own minds are not "average men" they are bottom feeders.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:55 AM
6

Then they need therapy or introspection, not casual sex. Cuz casual sex wont fix that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 09:18 PM
5

Guys like that pedestalize it because they haven't had it...and sex isn't the only area of their life they're behind...so they view it as a panacea to fix their broken lives. It's a completely fucked up weird viewpoint. Even if these guys could get laid, it wouldn't change the rest of their life. They'd cling to that one accomplishment ("I got laid once") and go right back to their misery when it fails to impress anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 09:17 PM
2

Most 6'4 guys aren't in the NBA so odds are a shorter guy saying he'd be in the NBA if he was 6'4 is more likely to be an unathletic spaz that an NBA player.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 09:13 PM
3

Buying a car is a good example. You won't sell someone on a car when they arent looking for a car. But you will if you're a dealership when they happen to be looking. Guys who never socialize are way less likely to be at the right time and place than guys who do.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 09:10 PM
6

It's kinda hilarious watching these guys sperg out about not getting casual sex. So you tell them to: -go to parties -drink -take up hobbies -banter/flirt -have a sense of humor -have diverse interests to start better conversations -not take themselves soooo seriously And all you get is a litany of screeching and reasons they "can't" but they still want casual sex. LOL
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 09:08 PM
7

Meanwhile they lose their ever loving minds if you tell them "be confident". QED "Confidence" is not genetically predetermined. This is loser thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 08:56 PM
2

Meanwhile they lose their ever loving minds if you tell them "be confident". QED
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 08:55 PM
13

These myths persist because low self esteem men come up with "reasons" why women won't fuck them and project their self esteem issues and inferiority complex onto these fake phd dissertations. Meanwhile they lose their ever loving minds if you tell them "be confident". Theyre so obsessed with what everyone else is doing, meanwhile learning basic communication, banter, and flirting is so repulsive to them, they block it out and assume "hot men" just go up to women in the street and say "wanna fuc…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 07:22 PM
3

It's mainly lack of binge drinking. Young people today drink socially, they don't "get wasted".
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 02:55 PM
-2

The hate on Graham Platner is ALSO because he is a leftist Nazi sympathizer who also made fun of Redditors contemplating self deletion. Yet he claims to be "fighting fascism". ...in other words, a typical Reddit leftist. The "mean to his girlfriends" thing is like fifth on the list of that trainwreck.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 02:25 PM
1

Those types of guys and their bloodlines will die off in a generation, so as long as incel behaviors are universally mocked, it won't be societally acceptable for others to pick up their torch, and it will stymie their recruiting efforts online.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 06:43 PM
0

Cool now write one about banter and flirting then.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:58 PM
1

Trump's wins have more to do with leftist insanity on things like k-12 curriculum, women's sports, parents rights, soft on crime (which women should want predominantly male violent criminals harshly penalized), soft on unchecked illegal migration and providing illegals with free benefits from tapped budgets, their support for failed economic systems like socialism, no voter ID, and more...than they do any sort of popularity of incel beliefs (though the far left will hype the influence of groyper…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:57 PM
3

That's just the femcel version of an incel's fantasy. The truth is much more unexciting: most people won't be affected, won't buy into gender wars, and will continue to date, fuck, relationship, marry, and start families based on their individual goals and those of compatible partners, and the angry/bitter types on both sides will either let it go and quietly go away and live lives of alternative meaning that can be of distinction and rewarding...or they will continue to cling to their genderwar…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 05:04 PM
–

It's cope by men who likely never had an attractive phase who think gold diggers wanting to spend time around them because they have money constitutes a prime. I'm in my 30s, and I still get attention from women...the youngest probably being 18-20 or so and the oldest probably being in her late 40s (at least in terms of recent), but being married I dont entertain it. But also most people think I'm 7-8 years younger than I am (same for my wife) cuz we take care of ourselves. There's NO way I'm go…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 04:54 PM
0

It's a revenge fantasy. Just like socialists, they always shitpost hoping that others will do the work. They're too busy gooning and gaming to do anything about it and lack the charisma to get anyone on their side or lead. Every now and then some lunatic goes Eliot Rodger but that's no different than some leftist nutjob like Luigi Mangione...they're unhinged solo actors and should be punished harshly decisively and permanently by the law (you can read between the lines on that one) to discourage…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 02:43 PM
6

Men don't want to be stoic providers who never see our families and don't get satisfaction from paying for everything and watching from a distance. "Nice guys" are lame AF, we don't like or respect them, and we clock that shit when we're with or pursuing a woman and they're orbiting her. It's met with indifference because that's the best reaction and we know treating the nice guy like he doesn't exist will make him out himself to her and kill all friendship vibes she feels towards him. Guys who …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 07:35 PM
7

Having had my wife be pregnant, pregnancy is a valid reason to give up a seat on the bus if you're still relying on such a miserable way of getting around. If there is one seat, I'm giving it to my wife. But if I'm on my own, I'm taking it, and not giving it up for a random able bodied non-pregnant woman, nor would I when I was single.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 07:17 PM
9

It isn't, these guys are just trying to create academic dissertations to try and convince women to give them a chance. Funny, because I found writing research papers to be one of the worst parts of being in higher ed (and this helped push me towards a business field of study). These guys hold that view about actually attractive behaviors like extroverted socializing, banter, and flirting...they'd rather do this. Unfortunately for them, just as if I'd pursued a PhD I wouldn't have enjoyed doing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 06:53 PM
3

You just described socialism. Forced "equity" and mandated reduced happiness across the board to appease the jealousness of losers under an existing system that largely works. Remove the incentive structure by rewarding those who haven't earned something, making the pie smaller for everyone. And just like socialism this won't work. Women who like casual sex don't want to fuck nerds who fantasize in pseudo-intellectual terms about hypothetical future dystopias where women fuck weirdos who can't f…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 06:50 PM
1

Sure you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 12:52 PM
0

Laughable take and further proving my point. I have zero skin in the game at this point so at this point my presence on this sub is strictly to help struggling young men and ridicule the "opinions" of nerds like you into irrelevance in their eyes. Nothing more pathetic than an incel trying to recruit others to the cause, but just like the socialists and groypers, a dying cult that can't reproduce has to try and brainwash others to survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:26 AM
1

You: "Gaming is hugely social and there are televised events" This is my counterpoint to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 09:12 AM
2

Blah blah blah. Yes she got back to an elite level of sport where people pay to watch her play. Considering her sport is literally "women's ice hockey" (coincidentally, what the Olympics calls it, too), yes, she got there. Incels routinely belittle women's sports because they aren't men's sports, which is a valid point to address. I don't really care about the rest of the pseudo-intellectual claptrap in the first part of your post as it's the typical Reddit screeching when one loses the argument…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 09:10 AM
3

Being an Olympic gold medalist and consistently being an Olympian for a decade plus doesnt require a caveat. How many sports have you played beyond middle school gym class? Congratulations, your comment is exactly the kind of Reddit neckbeard shit that women hate, and something no elite athlete (man or women) or anyone in the greater athletics community takes seriously. This is also why "play coed softball" never works as "meet women" advice for guys who think and act like you. Y'all spend more …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:11 AM
1

Gaming is boring AF for most non gamers and even many gamers dont really care to talk about other gamers. Its well established on this sub I'm not a gamer. But the only thing more boring than someone blathering on about gaming is someone blathering on about themselves watching other people play video games. And most women (and men) are not gonna care. If there's a hell, it's a gaming twitch stream.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:54 PM
5

A woman I admire: Kendall Coyne Schofield. Literally got a woman's league started by reaching out to Billie Jean King and being persistent throughout a huge process. Had a baby and got back to an elite level of sport in under a year, and is a Mom and wife while playing at the highest level of her sport. A man I admire: Aaron Judge. Perfect teammate and leader, scandal free, gives to charity, elite skills, and completely humble about all of it. On dates I preferred to ask frivolous low stakes que…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:48 PM
5

The irony that the politically minded refuse to see is that leftist economic policy is effectively the same bullshit as incel sexual policy. Forced redistribution by an all powerful government that shapes individual behavior through collective action. We have 250+ fucking years of evidence that this Marxist bullshit doesn't work economically, despite propaganda attemping to paint "fee for use" subsidized services like "the post office," "the library," and "Amtrak" as socialism, and despite the f…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:53 PM
10

The OP's greeting and signoff was also a tell of where those "beliefs" may have come from.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 11:52 PM
3

Miss me with the BS notion that men need to be "stoic providers" who never say no to night shift, weekends, overtime, or raises and promotions because the only thing that matters to us is being absentee parents who can sometimes show up to a birthday or graduation. Also hate the stereotype of us being overcompetitive assholes and I instantly dislike any dude who shows up and inmediately starts trying to flex/act important because deep down thats nothing more than a really annoying form of insecu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 06:57 PM
5

Those must be the infamous "we hate parties" Redditors we hear so much about on this sub
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:28 PM
18

Right? This is some asocial weirdo being described. Average guys go to parties, make friends, interact with/date/befriend/girlfriend/hook up with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 09:14 PM
1

I think, though, most people reach a point of contentment where they don't want to dedicate so much energy to improving themselves; they'd rather reap the rewards of hard work and turn their focus to the relationships and community they have, the hobbies they enjoy, and the work involved in maintaining those things (keeping the same job rather than aiming for a big promotion, for example). The key factor here, though, is that what you describe in that paragraph isn't boring. Spending time with f…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 05:01 AM
2

So don't be boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 04:56 AM
9

IMO depends why they do it. If their culture is repressive and they want to experience those things, power to them. If they're just a LBH trying to leverage exchange rates to sugar date someone in the third world, that's loser behavior and we'll never not call those guys LBH's.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 03:58 PM
12

No, actually, it's not. It's pretty foundational to anyone who understands how attraction works. I also missed the part where a woman's enthusiasm in bed, extroversion, social skills, and her ability to earn and contribute to a functioning, egalitarian household - all things mentioned in my original comment - are "physical characteristics" Boring, lazy, no ambition men are the equivalent of the 400 pound lazy woman with no personality. But, hey, go off. Either improve or stay single.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:49 PM
16

Most men are repulsed by the idea of sleeping with some 400 pound uggo with horrible hygiene and no personality. That says more about the desperation of losers than it does about anything else. The "boring guy" can probably go find some crackwhore willing to sleep with him if he's willing to be her financing for her fix, doesn't make that a desirable option. Either get better at the game or don't play. Nobody's going to be over the moon for 400 pound asocial pillow princesses with awful skin and…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:26 PM
23

This is just giving revenge of the nerds but instead of nerds it's losers. Being a low effort NEET with no personality is never going to be attractive. Might as well ask what would it be like "if fat women with acne and horrible fashion sense who can't socialize, cook, and are complete lazy pillow princesses in bed and don't work but would be terrible parents and like to eat Cheetos all day were universally attractive to men, and athletic extroverted baddies with social skills who like to do fun…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:06 PM
–

You are fundamentally approaching the date from the vantage point of a simp. The purpose of the date is to have fun and get to know the other person, not to "impress" her. Dinner is also a very awkward first date. You're going to spend the first few minutes getting interrupted constantly by wait staff and having to decide on drinks, appetizers, and food. If you're trying to vibe with someone, dinner usually ain't it. Once you've gotten to know each other better and built up some rapport, then ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 12:26 PM
–

A date can be creative and different without breaking the bank. Dinner is boring for most people. Mix it up. Go to a carnival, walk by the riverfront, sightsee on a bridge, go to a free art museum, free outdoor concert, go watch a sunset, if she's athletic have a catch or toss a football, or go to a zoo an aquarium or a nature preserve. Not every creative date has to be expensive. You start there and if it goes well can add on fun ideas based on the things you talk about that seem like a good fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:20 AM
11

Reposting this here since it'll probably get buried by Reddit algorithms elsewhere in the thread otherwise: It's directed to the OP, but putting it under your post because you mention the hostels, too: Why would the man avoid the hostel? Hostels are fun as shit when you don't have any serious responsibilities in life. You'll meet a bunch of age appropriate peers, can make a bunch of temporary friends (and every once in a while might keep in touch longer term), and the staff always have tons of r…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 09:57 PM
8

The worst is: "Men have to sit through boring dates where they get interrogated on their finances and jobs because if they don't, they get disqualified." "Men have to pay because otherwise women wouldn't go out with them." Like, no. Some of us just literally went on dates to have fun and good conversation, and work and income were the last things on our minds. And I always offered to pay if I asked a woman out, and if she let me, trust I wasn't losing any sleep over some first date bill which wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 09:56 PM
4

Why would the man avoid the hostel? Hostels are fun as shit when you don't have any serious responsibilities in life. You'll meet a bunch of age appropriate peers, can make a bunch of temporary friends (and every once in a while might keep in touch longer term), and the staff always have tons of recommendations for cool things to do that locals actually like. Plus some hostels even serve alcohol, and since everything is 18+ in most countries, you sometimes have built in drinking companions. Plus…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 09:51 PM
1

Gen Z is just bipolar with socializing. Half are amazing at it (they just don't drink as much as millenials did), and half are completely, totally incompetent at it. Also, second the advice to host with roommates. This was always a great way to get mixed people together. And if you live in an apartment building, you can literally run into women in the hallway, mention you and your friends are having a get together, and that "we're neighbors" and invite them. Even if they don't come, nothing vent…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:20 PM
1

Pick different hobbies that target younger people. Intramural sports are a really good one for getting 20 somethings. Pick coed sports, not all guys teams, even if it means playing at a lower level of competition. Softball, soccer, kickball, hockey, you name it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:16 PM
3

This is generally really good advice. And yes, you want that core group that gets together. You can build that at work. There's a big difference in how most people (who tend to be followers) react when asked "Hey, do you want to get a drink after work?" vs. how they react when asked "Hey, a bunch of us are gonna grab drinks after work, you wanna come?" Build a core group, be the leader, make the plans. Don't just look around for others to invite you. Also, ironically, that will make you more not…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:15 PM
4

You don't ask them if they have single friends. You just go to the hobby space, enjoy the hobby space, and then make plans after. Basically, mentally friendzone the women (and this is great advice for guys, because a lot of guys tend to "chase" women when they get set on liking them, which is usually offputting to the women). Over time, you may notice some of the single ones seem to warm up to you, want to spend more time with you, banter and joke and even flirt with you. Then you can ask them i…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:13 PM
1

The thing I'd be most interested to see is if women having to initiate would make them more competitive with each other over men, and if that would gradually lead to some of the man-man issues in dating around guys "competing" for women's attention and hating each other sometimes (which we all know is usually because somebody gets jealous a guy is getting more attention than him, not because both men are inherently "competing"). And what impact, if any, being expected to approach has on the qual…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:10 PM
2

Dude, it's not that serious. Just build a basic rapport with her, have a few low stakes/high energy fun conversations, and at the end of one ask her out. You're not labeling it "friendship" and you're certainly not "friendzoned." You can do it within a relatively short timeframe of talking to one another. Nobody's getting "friendzoned" because of 1-2 solid conversations, or sitting next to each other in class or being in the same hobby and eventually having a good convo. Guys who get "friendzone…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:07 PM
–

That is such a Reddit reply. My point stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:32 AM
–

If your friend is being an asshole, you have a duty to call it out. Thats not "berating him" its just a reality check. You do that BECAUSE theyre your friend and they need a wakeup call. I dont know why Redditors insist on making these basic and human interactions more complicated than what they are. This is friendship 101.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:30 AM
–

Validating stupid feelings is why the manosphere and redpill spaces are full of incels seeking validation from other men about their skewed and unrealistic understandings of how women work. A good friend would call that shit out not "support" it
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 11:10 PM
–

A lot of women love sports and would love to date a guy who takes her playing sports, or her opinions on sports, seriously. Dont give af about video games, but some women do I hear.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 11:02 PM
–

This. People whose work is their whole personality are boring af
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 11:00 PM
–

Boooring Good investing is just buying index funds and etfs anyway. Nothing exciting there.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 10:59 PM
1

When your "feelings" are preventing you from taking the next logical step, then that's actually a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:59 AM
7

So where should the line be drawn? Is it reasonable for a man to seek advice on becoming more attractive, confident, or desirable as a romantic partner? Yes. Is there anything inherently wrong with wanting to improve one's chances of finding love? No. Or does that pursuit risk treating women as a monolith with a single formula for attraction? Depends on how he goes about it. If he's looking for "cheat codes" to become universally attractive to women, or achieve some mythical Chad-status that rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 05:22 PM
4

People inherently don't know what they want when they're young. They form preferences based on their socialization and lived experiences. Those preferences can often be incorrect, but sometimes are correct. Part of growing up is experimenting, learning, and testing previously held assumptions. Sometimes that results in doubling down on the original assumption/preference, and we call that conviction, and sometimes it results in throwing out the original assumption/preference as it's deemed to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 05:14 PM
2

A revolution foments more hate than anything else. Every socialist revolution leads to famine, poverty, cultural decay, authoritarianism, and mass death.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 08:07 AM
–

IMO, time and place. I don't mind a little swearing, and I don't really have filters on any words at all. All fair game. It's only when they curse all the time, like every other word, that it's too much. Lord knows I do my fair share... If you're gonna curse a lot you'd better be really funny. Otherwise it just sounds angry, and...no thanks. Same thing with dudes as friends, too. Like, chill. Dane Cook was lame. Too much swearing is too. But when I was single, my biggest dating ick was an annoyi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 07:40 AM
–

Having conditions for dating consideration is dehumanizing doncha know. You should treat all men as equal options, interchangeable with each other and have zero personal preferences or deal-breakers. That's the only way to not objectify or dehumanize men ...which is weird because that literally would be objectification. AKA "he has a penis, he'll do" mindset. Also laughable that these guys in this sub continue to obsess over "money" and "status," which do not drive attraction. College men do gen…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 07:35 AM
3

FFS, it's not "courting" her. 1960 called, they want their jargon back. It's literally just asking a woman out, but so many guys have become such neurotic nerds they don't have the balls to do that... but they spend hours tryna write phd level dissertations on Reddit about why women don't want to fuck them cuz of some obscure bs with his facial structure that I guarantee no woman has ever actually thought about. And men here routinely say that they'd have sex with women they aren't that into jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 02:18 AM
3

I'm way more in touch with the current dating market than you are. Hell, a good friend of mine is 18. She's conventionally attractive, plays sports (we became friends through hockey), and she is getting ready to go to college. Had dinner with her recently because she's getting ready to move and we've fallen into almost a sister/brother dynamic. She's an awesome human being. Right now, she works in fast food. And despite that, she bought me a gift for my daughter for when she's older, and when th…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 07:16 PM
26

Don't be "friends." Just get to know them, relationship undefined, and then ask them out if you feel attraction starting BEFORE you commit to a whole ass friendship. And whatever you do, don't "confess." Confessing is pathetic, disproportional behavior that signals poor emotional regulation. You are INTERESTED IN DATING HER, if she's open to it. You are NOT in love. You are NOT certain she's the one for you. You are NOT struggling to deal with your feelings because they're so overwhelming. And i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 07:00 PM
9

Not only are you confusing cause and effect, this "blame the videogames" trope has run its course. Young men are 3x more likely to be addicted to video games as women. (~33% to ~11%) 3x more likely than the overall population to be addicted to gambling. (~5% to less than ~2%) 4x more likely than women to be addicted to porn. (~12% to ~3%) So no, this trope has not "run its course" when close to half of young men have an untreated addiction and refuse to admit that it's a problem. Complete made u…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 06:58 PM
10

"Becoming best friends" isn't going to build attraction. Literally just interact with them and don't be boring. Be fun and interesting, banter and flirt a little. It's really not that deep. Y'all spend more time thinking about other men than anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 06:46 PM
13

The sexlessness of most young men is a huge result of the greater numbers of them - compared to previous generations - who suck at socialization and are addicted to gaming and/or gambling. Most casual sex was happening at parties, and most younger people are not getting blackout drunk like previous generations. And Gen Z may not be having ragers, but they are still getting together in groups and doing things, and they're still drinking just in more moderation. So there is a greater emphasis on r…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 05:59 PM
–

Finding them attractive is a precursor to talking to them and getting to know them. If you are literally shortcutting all that because you don't care to know them but you want to fuck them / want their money, that's when it's objectification. AKA the infamous and oft-repeated "I don't care what she does, blah blah blah, she's hot, I just want to bang her." or the "I don't care what a man looks like or thinks, as long as he's willing to spend money on me and has plans for _____ lifestyle/income"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 04:41 PM
–

Turning this around, then a man who is sensitive that a particular woman is smart has accomplishments and goals, yet still stares at her ass would not be objectifying her. I'd agree with this, if he knows her and knows those accomplishments and goals specifically. I mean, this is literally what being a relationship is like. If I squeeze my wife's butt in the kitchen, or she grinds up against my junk when she's bending over to grab a pot from the bottom cabinet, neither of us are objectifying eac…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 04:36 PM
3

Yup. The sports example is also a really good one. A lot of guys also just assume women don't know shit about sports, but there are some really knowledgeable sports fans out there, and if you treat women who claim to like sports as spies until they "demonstrate" knowledge to you, that's an offputting attitude. Even more extroverted guys can make that mistake and end up putting off women who they have things in common with. And that in and of itself is a failure of a social skill by a guy who oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 04:19 PM
–

This should be the top comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 04:15 PM
–

That type of objectification does happen with men, but it's usually in seeing them as free labor, paid labor, a boundless wellspring of willingness to work overtime for a bag, a meal ticket, or "useful" in the sense that they can retrieve tall/heavy objects, do handy/dangerous work, etc. Someone who is sensitive to a man's goals and other attributes besides those aimed at utility would not be objectifying him.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 04:13 PM
4

What's weird is these constant attempts to make this about politics. Even most conservative couples are closer to 50/50 earnings and 50/50 chores than 100/0 earnings and 0/100 chores. Most couples have been two working parents in the United States for over 50 years. Meanwhile, the subset of younger men that are truly lost are literally taking dating advice from failed 50 year olds who never found a partner and are clinging to paradigms that at best are from the Boomers, and at worst are from the…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:50 PM
4

Generally agree. They also come off as nonchalant because they think it's attractive to women or will make them chase, but in reality it's woman-repellent. I'm friends with several Gen Z women despite being a millennial myself, and they all HATE it. It's giving low ambition/low energy for life. Plus lots of women read, and these guys would rather watch a two hour movie and sixteen hours of "fan content" about their favorite stories than read books. And when they do read books, it's exclusively n…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:40 PM
3

Thank you. Incels are so obsessed with this completely delulu notion that women decide to date/fuck/relationship/marry guys based off pictures alone, and it's so wildly off base.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:32 PM
2

How is that "traditional masculinity?" Guys who want to be nurses or veterinarians were widely considered closeted until a few years ago ("why don't you want to be a doctor?"). And such behaviors are still seen as "gay" or "women's work" in some places. And insecure dudes worry about being seen as predators or "gay' when they engage in nursing/caring behaviors as those are typically associated with femininity. These just read as people with weird gendered notions of competence and confidence. Co…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:08 PM
10

Legit. Unfortunately the rising prevalence of video game addiction...particularly in young men who are 3 times as likely to be video game addicted as young women...means more and more boys and young men are falling into that 2nd category, and they react like toddlers if you suggest doing anything with their free time other than gaming. Especially on a place like Reddit. Meanwhile, that's a whole full-time job's worth of hours every week (often more) that they're pouring into not meeting any wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:57 PM
11

Yup. Classic RP used to view guys that chronically complained as sub-humans, and used to ridicule them endlessly to try and snap them out of it. It understood that complaining isn't attractive, as it either elicits pity (which is exclusive to any kind of sexual response in anyone who isn't a predator) or disinterest.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:52 PM
2

id like to give men a bit more credit here. i dont think men think for sure, TRP is going to just have women jumping at them, its cartoonish. and id say asmall group of them, like shes responsible for her own pleasure. I disagree with this take, though. If these men were truly "red pill", then they wouldn't sperg out so hard when confronted with basic principles of RP like "learning how to talk to women" (because it's different than how men talk to each other), or the constant rage and screechin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:51 PM
1

Feminine men are hated because the people who use these "gendered traits" language associate femininity with incompetence, weakness, and helplessness and masculinity with competence, capability, and strength. However competence, capability, and strength are not gendered. The men who are derided for being "feminine" (or, more accurately, "soft") fail at competence, capability, and strength. It's 2026. Women can be athletic, strong, and capable...and men can be loving, nurturing, and conscientious…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:14 PM
–

That doesn't mean the wealth is the cause of that. It's well known that poor people don't take care of their health. A poor person is far more likely to be overweight/obese, have missing/removed teeth, haggard skin, or to behave in ways that are socially unattractive to, say, middle class women who represent the majority. Correlation is not causation. Also, including Chinese populations in a dataset with Western populations is...a choice. There are very different factors at play there, including…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:21 PM
4

The difference is that women's attraction is deeply subjective and more contextual than visual. Most women can think a guy is attractive, but it isn't actionable until she gets to know him at least a little bit, where his mannerisms and personality will either supercharge that attraction or kill it. This is yet another reason why dating apps are complete shit. Because many women literally won't know if they find a guy attractive from pics, coupled with the fact that most guys take horrible pics,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:53 PM
4

Lose weight is good advice for overweight dudes. Just like scrawny dudes could stand to add a little muscle. But career doesn't arouse women. It's all about how he makes her feel which is a combination of looks, mannerisms, and personality - which is best described as a mix of fun, conversational compatibility, compatible humor, and openness to the right kinds of new experiences as willingness to share ones of his own that interest her. It is NOT how nice he is, money, or his job.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:49 PM
3

Women also have to convey interest, even if they don't make the first move. Nonchalant women also get left behind.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:45 PM
-1

Yup and most younger women hate the nonchalant thing. Most of them want guys to ask them out and be generally socially aware...they just don't want to be pedestalized or built up into some manic pixie dream girl fantasy. And if their answer is no because they're not into him, they want him to accept it gracefully and move on, and stop trying to "impress" her to change her mind. The nonchalant thing is giving disinterest, not calm/laidbackness, and that's why it's just those men shooting themselv…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:44 PM
3

This shit reminds me of when I was getting my graduate certificate in an engineering school, and like half of the people in the program had no social skills and every single individual project for them was a study in "but, robots..." to solve modern problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:52 AM
3

The point is that women enjoy sex. And if you think they don't, that reflects on you. Been there done that with the party lifestyle when I was younger. Fun for the most part, but after a while you're ready for something more. I'm married to a woman who loves sex with me. I don't need to be trolling clubs to get what I already have at home. And checking Reddit while I'm multitasking at work is hardly taking away from the quality of my life considering that there's really not a whole lot else to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:23 PM
2

Telling on yourself bro
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:39 PM
0

Assuming I was still single: No. #4. If she "hates capitalism" she's not "left leaning" she's a leftist, and probably a fucking socialist, which is an absolute dealbreaker for me. #1 I prefer an above average face (or better) and above average/athletic physique, and nothing about her personality says that this would be less important given her lifestyle (see 7 below). #7 I also like an active lifestyle and while I can appreciate art, culture, and history, the lack of any physically active hobbie…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:36 PM
5

Funny, once I was old enough to have sex...women wanted to have sex with me WITHOUT me whipping my dick out and begging for attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:27 PM
8

Bro... No they most certainly do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:58 PM
2

Responding to this because the other poster didn't (and seems to have disappeared), and because I also hated being asked about career/income kinds of questions on first dates directly, or early on in a conversation. I usually preferred low stakes stuff that could showcase a personality and lighten the mood early on. "Vanilla or chocolate ice cream?" "Beach, lake, mountain, or city vacation?" "Would you rather pick up a new sport, learn a musical instrument, write a book, or dance in front of 500…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:56 PM
5

That's an extremely literal (and possibly neurodivergent) take on something that is ultimately about free will. I mean, is a child - the most unconditional human relationship that can exist - transactional because the parents exchange resources and care for the experience of raising a child and possible eldercare, and the child exchanges loyalty for 18 years of mostly free living? Guarantee no child or parent actually thinks that way. What distinguishes transacational relationships from...relati…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:33 PM
3

Sounds like those guys are just trying to buy the attention of women who really aren't into them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:19 PM
6

Funny. Women always took turns paying on dates with me, have bought me things in relationships or done me favors, and my wife still buys me gifts and takes turns taking me out too. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:24 PM
0

More leftist propaganda on Reddit. Data shows that political extremism of all kinds is tied to struggles with dating. But go off...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:44 PM
10

They don't affect everyone. And even if I grant you the premise that this is some widespread problem, you're not going to affect societal level change by screaming into internet voids. Just reject the paradigm. Reject transactional relationships. Eventually transactional daters will give up when being repeatedly shot down, or they'll change their approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:17 PM
4

Observation, talking to both men and women in trusted spaces, stress testing assertions vs. observations, the filter of my own experiences and trying different things, and maintaining an open and intellectually/emotionally curious demeanor even as I have things apparently "figured out" to always look for ways to expand my understanding or adapt to changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:11 PM
10

Have you ever considered the possibility why, in a world teeming with male desire, those women are at single events instead of already on dates with guys? Now apply the same logic to men who exclusively try to "meet" women online. Far better to have an active lifestyle complete with social life, which will naturally put you across the paths of many (more desirable) women that you can interact with organically and ask out after you get to know them a little once you both confirm the vibe is right…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:30 PM
-1

The presence of progressive parents doesn't negate my points. It's 2026. Most relationships across the political spectrum are not transactional, and it's only a very loud, very online, very vocal minority of bitter and jaded people who advocate for transactional relationships. And there is no clear poltical leaning to the people advocating for these toxic relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:13 PM
-3

No, lots of conservatives meet off personality and looks...and most conservative relationships feature two working adults raising children together with a partnership dynamic. Your post just sounds like someone who wants to push a political agenda under the guise of dating "advice" or someone who hasn't updated the paradigm of what "conservative" means since 1960.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:08 PM
4

Nah this isn't about politics at all. This is usually about hurt people who don't have much to offer so they try to treat the one thing they kinda sorta have a little of as a commodity that they can barter and exchange for a different perceived "commodity." It's probably more common in foreign cultures that encourage "practical" relationships with no attraction or compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:02 PM
108

It's easier to just not date people who think of sex or money as a reward or as gold stars to exchange for the reward.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:36 PM
2

You are talking about exceptions to the rule. In general, women ARE more attracted to men who either currently have money or have "ambition" or some other code word that equates to 'will have money later' No, they're not. Money is not the driver of attraction. Looks (in a general sense that includes mannerisms) and personality are. Shared goals is a compatibility screen for longer term commitment, and money fits into that inasmuch as it supports the desired lifestyle under shared goals (which is…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:05 PM
3

The issue is that we had that system in America, predicated by being the world's exporter in the wake of WW2's devastation, but then we sold out because we allowed special interests to lust after 1 billion Chinese people* willing to work for cheap and a hostile government that the globalists thought would open up when granted access to free markets, and we sold out the golden goose in the name of cheap plastic crap to a government that hates us and wants to replace us while simultaneously allowi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 05:29 PM
1

I assumed the OP was talking about men she recently met, since she didn't say anything about having a partner. However, even within a relationship, there should be reciprocation. My wife buys me stuff from time to time, but it's stuff I want (or it's something I'm contempating buying for myself and she says "let me get this for you"). And I do the same for her. I'm not just giving gifts randomly that are things I like to her. And there's a balance to it. I think if the gifts aren't things that t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:57 PM
3

Let's start by addressing your clear attempt to shame men by implying every guy could be attractive but isn't putting in the work to become attractive (their "skill issue"). A core manosphere axiom is that women are born with their value (youth beauty, etc) while men have to earn their value (money, status, etc). This "axiom" is bullshit though. Money doesn't make women attracted to a guy. It makes gold diggers fake-attracted to a guy. I don't accept the above as a premise, and therefore it's ir…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 04:10 PM
18

Women really see "cold approachers" as panhandlers. That's really the closest comparison. Who you are more likely to give $5 to? A panhandler that sees you and gives you a generic compliment, then immediately asks for $5? Someone you get to know mutually who never asks you for anything, then one day finds themselves $5 short and sheepishly asks if you have $5 after you've spent countless hours talking, hanging out, and having a good time? It's the same thing with dating. Women are way more likel…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 03:43 PM
7

Yeah, usually you just ask them out and if the answer isn't an enthusiastic yes, you just move on. Asked out multiple coworkers when I was single, never really had an issue. And clearly it's still being done...hell a buddy I play hockey with brought four women from his job with him to watch him play and hung out with them all after (3 were her friends and one is the one he's talking to) and they all showed up and had a good time and even joked around with the rest of us too, though the two of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 03:39 PM
0

I'm talking about the men who buy into the cope that the "reason" they're "more attractive" in their 30s is wealth and income. It isn't. If you're responding to a different point, that's not what I'm talking about at all. Men aren't better looking on the wrong side of 35, and aren't more attractive. Money doesn't make pussies wet. And if a guy spends his 20s chasing a bag and missing out on a fun, independent decade because he's working, he's never going to get that back with his peers, and peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 03:31 PM
19

Gifts are nice if they are thoughtful and personal, and somehow situationally appropriate. "Showering" with gifts, however? Seems a little too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 02:52 PM
-1

There's no useful "feedback." Feedback is for when there's a way forward or out of a situation. Like I said, loser's mindset. There is ALWAYS a way forward or out of a situation that doesn't involve self-harm. There's nothing to be learned from someone having a target drawn upon them, where they are simply 'the loser' , or the universally agreed upon punching bag to all and sundry in a situation for 6-8 hours a day where there's no escape. Sure there is. Growing stronger, being firmer with bound…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 02:51 PM
2

Celebrities are an outlier, and if it wasn't for corporate hero worship, TMZ culture, etc. I think few would really care about how they do. The thing you realize is that most celebrities are just connected through family, etc. and there is little in looks to distinguish a famous Hollyweird actress from an insanely attractive ordinary woman who works a regular job. Money really isn't the flex guys think it is. I've seen trust fund, prep school kids with no social skills fumbling women in bars lef…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 02:14 PM
3

Younger people in general tend to have clearer/smoother skin and better/thicker hair. There are generally exceptions but this is why the stereotype persists. Also, statistically, while many younger people can be overweight/obese, more older people will be overweight/obese. All of this holds true for both women and men and is why younger people are generally considered more attractive. Looks do change and ultimately fade for everyone (at different rates), but it's less noticeable when you see som…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:59 PM
3

Not really. You learn that the only reward for good work is more work. Yeah, you might get more pay, but after a while the money doesn't really mean much. Once you have enough to live comfortably, more doesn't matter. Especially if you work in a job where you don't have control of your own schedule. Most people end up looking for work-life balance and flexibility in middle age and later years, which is why remote work remains all the rage and companies pushing high control return to work are str…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:44 PM
-1

The issue with this take is that it's way too simplistic. Teenage years are also messy. Kids are discovering who they are, sometimes have to be mean to learn to enforce boundaries or figure out where they fit in things, but it's not always mean, targeted, and sustained. Plus it's common for kids to tease or make fun of each other, and it even goes on among the popular kids. Most teenagers would probably say they've been "picked on" at some point, or had some kind of falling out or drama with a f…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 01:38 PM
1

Yup, legit. Plus a lot of younger guys don't really know what they're looking for and sometimes they're just horny. "Post nut clarity" is a thing unfortunately and sometimes you can just realize you never really liked someone all that much, but still acknowledge that something that started as a hookup was fun, but you don't really want to do it again. I think a general sense of trust and safety and liking the other person outside of the bedroom is actually the best environment for good sex, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:20 AM
10

The topic sounds good, but the body of the text is horrible and all over the place. If you wanted to fix this post and have it read as a truism, this would have been the body of your post: "Men want attention. Women have attention, and don't want it." With a little life experience, you'll see it this way. Men: Imagine that from the moment you turn 12 and the first signs of puberty appear on you - a fledgling beard or mustache, leg hair, etc. you are given female attention every time you leave th…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:10 AM
4

There is equality in dating. Both men and women have equal rights and OPPORTUNITY in dating. You're asking for equity: equality of results. This is essentially sexual socialism and by nature would inhibit choice, because people are already choosing freely since men and women have the same rights in dating. People not having kids is largely about access to single family homes. Most people don't envision raising kids in a shitty urban school district that buses in people from bad socioeconomic nei…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:44 AM
1

It's basically a women's version of the manosphere. And I'm not saying that your post falls under it...it actually doesn't. For example, FDS explicitly advises women to make sure men spend money on her, etc. all while withholding sex for a predetermined amount of time in order for him to "prove" he's serious about her. It's terrible advice for building a real connection, and in fact will only ensure that bad men who are truly desperate stick around. And your post actually hits on some of the rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:40 AM
2

Most of us don't want women's "submission." Someone who submits is weak. I don't want to raise kids with someone weak. I want a Mama Bear who will kill to protect them if she has to when I'm not around, who will model fierce independence and self-reliance, and teach them to make her way in the world confidently. I want someone who carries her weight, so that I don't have another dependent in the person who is supposed to help me with the dependents. Someone who is a force multiplier for my own w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:37 AM
-1

Ironically, the radicalization will create a Taliban like policing of women's sexuality which will mean more men will struggle to get laid, and beautiful women will not be able to showcase their beauty. These "radicalized" men are more about denying other men the experiences that come with women's liberation than they are about bettering themselves. It's like socialists. They'd rather make everyone else poor to support a state with no rich people (except, of course, the government and favored en…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:28 AM
13

100%. I really think the lie that men gain attractiveness on the wrong side of the 30 is really just propaganda to get frustrated men slaving away for their employers with the misguided thinking that their wallets will someday attract women when money has literally never made a vagina wet ever. It's just a formula to be used by a gold digger, or to piss away what's left of his prime focusing on all the wrong things, and not the reasons he's unattractive which often go beyond just looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:22 AM
2

Usually one of several reasons: Over reliance on dating apps. They don't meet a lot of women IRL. They don't do interesting things with their life, so they have nothing to connect with high quality women over. No interests or conversation topics, no good stories, no good places to go, no interesting foods to eat, no interesting books they've read or podcasts they've listened to, no music/movie/exhibit recommendations, no pre-existing hobbies to invite her to try, etc. They don't communicate well…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:18 AM
–

The far-left have destroyed many things, but dating isn't one of them. That was largely done by the Match Group. Politics and dating really aren't as closely related as Reddit ideologues want it to be, but that's just because they're trying to use dating struggles to drum up support for their "side" of a larger political debate that has already grown too big for its britches.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:03 AM
2

"Female Dating Strategy" aka "Red Pill" but targeted towards women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:43 AM
2

Also ghosting needs to be one sided. If two people go on a date and neither communicates that's not a ghost. It only becomes ghosting when one person sends that next message and the other never replies. In that situation, the person who's worried about being "ghosted" should just send the next message, and it only becomes ghosting if the other person ignores it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:52 AM
9

IMO it's not ghosting if you've rejected someone multiple times and they continue to argue about it. Ghosting is only when you stop communicating without ever telling the other person you're not interested in continuing. You also don't owe the other person an explanation. "After careful thought, I don't want us to continue to see each other" is more than enough to end something. If they demand and explanation and you don't reply, that's not ghosting. Situations where ghosting is justified: You h…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:34 AM
2

"Loose lips sink glass houses."
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 11:54 PM
2

Excellent post and should required reading for anyone who ascribes to FDS.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 10:58 PM
1

Enjoying attention from people outside of the marriage is fine. It's validating. And most people are going to encounter this at some point, particularly if they're good looking. Actively pursuing it, encouraging it once it's been identified, or actually cheating is not. As for reactions to it, I agree with the other poster who said that a little jealousy can often be a sign of a healthy relationship (because you care), but that boundaries are important and disrespect of the marriage or the partn…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 07:09 AM
2

I reflected on this at some point in my early 20s shortly before I'd met my wife when I'd started to notice a pattern among women I tended to end up in relationships with. I've always had a few "types" that ran closely together. Shorter, cute-faced, brunette or dirty blonde, big-eyed, athletic Caucasian women who would often appear shy at first but who had a quiet confidence, a rich inner world, were great conversationalists, loved to try new things, and usually had a fairly all-encompassing cur…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 07:02 AM
1

They tried to give you a 2nd chance to see if there was something there and when the 2nd date had the same vibe as the first, confirmed "no spark" because they still weren't having fun
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 01:25 AM
2

No its that paying for one apartment and phone/internet bill on two incomes is a higher savings rate than paying for 2 apartments and 2 internet/phone bills, among other economies of scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 01:21 AM
1

Sex is a fun activity two people do when they're attracted to and trust each other or (in some cases) when the attraction overrides the need for trust. It's not that serious. By making it into something so much bigger than it is, you are pedestalizing it. It's no wonder incels get so in their heads about literally just having a conversation with a woman or asking her out when every single word out of her mouth is treated as a universal and objectively factual referendum on his global sexuality b…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 01:42 PM
6

It's not "different for men". It's different for men who commit to women they don't actually like for access to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 01:38 PM
6

With the right woman, a relationship does not mean loss of money. It means economies of scale that reduce expenses for both partners. Granted, that's not a reason to enter a relationship with someone who isn't a good fit, but it's a benefit of entering into one with someone who is. Married men usually have higher wealth than single men, in fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 01:36 PM
1

They did not have fun. They were being polite.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 06:19 AM
–

Many-party systems in the EU also suck. I'd probably prefer to see the abolition of political parties altogether and candidates have to individually stand on their own positions and policy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 01:38 PM
2

Yes, some inexperienced women can get deceived by love bombing. Most women get deceived once, then never again. People learn and they grow. Your point is? You think if she likes the fake act and falls for you, you're gonna be able to sustain it for 50 years? You just gonna pretend to be really into crochet for the rest of your life because she said she likes it? You think that's gonna be a real relationship where the guy ever feels the "peace" most guys want in a relationship? Two things are gon…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 01:30 PM
3

"No spark" Is about not being able to flirt, or engaging in male-male communication patterns on dates which women perceive as disinterest. It's not about "performing." It's about going on a date, acknowledging it's a date and the tension in the room, and then not sitting there and talking about your job for 2 hours or "what you're looking for" for two hours. Spark is about having fun together and laughing, with tension in the background. Flirting is a social skill and the "struggling" guys here …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 01:24 PM
6

Because a job interview isn't dating, because we need money to live, and a job is paying me to work for them. Furthermore, I work FOR an employer, but in all my relationships I work WITH my partner. And for those of us who value commitment, I'd drop an employer at the drop of a hat if the workplace culture turned toxic or inhibited the rest of my life, whereas with a partner you at least make a commitment to make a serious effort to work through almost all issues except for major ones like infid…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 01:22 PM
3

Again, read a history book. The exact shit in your previous post is used to drive ideological compliance with agendas that often have unpopular components to them, including ones that violate individual rights and lead to mass-scale atrocities, on the premise of "if you're not with us, you're against us" and is and has been used historically within party structures to enforce ideological compliance across entire platforms on the basis of one issue. That's not how politics or individuals should w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:59 PM
–

I have never had to coerce anyone to have sex. The fact that you view sex as a degrading act means you have an unhealthy relationship with it. That alone disqualifies you from relationships with good men. Clearly, you've been hurt. But rather than heal, your tendency to feed into "femcel narratives" will only hold you back. And just like incels who buy into their incel crap, it will keep you frustrated bitter and coming back for more, which will come in the validation from your gender agreeing w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:52 PM
1

No, that's extremist rhetoric, and how you get some of the worst atrocities in human history. Read a history book.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:46 PM
23

Ironically when you drop the attitude that you have to "perform" around women, you'll be more relaxed around them, more secure, more confident, and often more attractive. So, no, you don't have to "perform" around women. You just have to be decent company. Women can tell when a guy tenses up, puts on his game face, and starts chasing. It repels them. They can see the nervous, angry, jealous, possessive glances when another guy talks to a woman he's crushing on. They can see the way he seems to s…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:45 PM
-1

I mean, Roe v Wade being overturned was a major setback to women's perceptions of their own rights, even if they live in a state where nothing changed for them. It stands to reason that takes a pre-eminent place in the minds of most women voters since it's a more pressing issue than many of the other things that are commonly debated. However, on this, the polling is pretty clear. Leftism isn't nearly as popular when actual policy is discussed as Reddit would have people think. And "abortion righ…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:36 PM
9

I disagree with this because most people's politics are not binary. Most people hold a mix of liberal and conservative viewpoints. Most people are against gender ideology in schools and allowing biological males to compete in women's sports, but support state and federally recognized gay marriage and allowing adults to do what they want with their own bodies (including being generally pro-choice except in late-term situations where a fetus is viable and neither the mother nor the pregnancy are a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 04:21 PM
4

That transactional quid pro quo attitude is completely offputting to men. I've been in mediocre relationships, great relationships, and have a marriage that is over 10 years now and still going strong where we're still as into each other as we were in the beginning. I can guarantee a "quid pro quo" attitude towards sex that views it as a reward would be offputting not just to me but to any good man who has a healthy relationship with his own sexuality and is looking to connect with a woman. And …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 02:50 PM
9

Sex is not a "reward" for men. That attitude repels good men or anyone who has a healthy relationship with their own sexuality. Are more thoughtful dates a "reward" for women? This is what I mean about making relationships transactional. And it's not just about sex, it's about everything. I've been in good relationships and mediocre relationships over the years, and my marriage is still going strong after over a decade. Guaranteed anything that felt transactional or quid pro quo was an automatic…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 02:44 PM
6

It tells women to make relationships transactional to weed out "bad" men when all that does is weed out the good ones. It tells women to withhold sex not to see who pressures them (which would be a valid strategy to out fuckboys or guys there for the hookup), but rather to enforce arbitrary timelines and quid pro quo dating dynamics that turn sex into a reward for being a "good boy" which inherently devalues sex as "something women give men" rather than something two people enjoy together. Most …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:26 PM
-1

These blackpilled takes are so weird. They can all be boiled down to "hot people can do whatever tf they want and women will still want them and enjoy it" and "ugly people can't do anything without women hating it and it being a turnoff." That really isn't how people work. That's usually just how shallow dudes interact with women (shutting out the fat one), and most women clock it immediately and reject those dudes because women are looking for how men treat people who aren't in a position to of…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:21 PM
8

While I generally agree with this, humor can be attractive. But only certain types of humor. Witty one liners are funny, as long as they're delivered organically and not excessively. Being able to identify and laugh at the absurd is a skill and can signal social awareness, intelligence, and quick thinking. Even puns and cringe jokes can be endearing if delivered with a healthy dose of irony/sarcasm. That said, yes, a guy constantly telling jokes looking for the woman's approval will come off as …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 08:55 AM
7

And that makes FDS just as wrong as the redpillers bleating on about "hurr durr women only want men for their money" who can't figure out why dressing like an intern with their six figure CS jobs isn't getting them laid when their only avenue for meeting women is online dating, their only hobbies are gaming and gym, they lack social skills, and they have the personality of a block of concrete. FDS is effectively Good Man Repellent.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 08:22 AM
12

As one of the posters who OP is likely referring to in the OP (since a lot of men's unattractiveness IS a skill issue) I fully agree w/this. You live and you learn and grow. Women's attractiveness is also a skill issue and many overlooked women can benefit from a glow up or working on social skills, too. ..or they can turn to FDS brainrot and become transactional and finance obsessed and wonder why all the "good men" seem to have left their dating pool. 🤷‍♂️ all of it is a skill issue IMO. We ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:29 AM
–

But when you're in a relationship with someone you like, you're still getting something out of that time together even when you're not "getting pussy." Sex just becomes one of many activities you enjoy together, but the time together is still valuable/enjoyable without sex. "Have to spend a lot of time with" a woman you like is a weird way of phrasing something that should still be enjoyable even when sex isn't happening at that exact moment. Guys who have zero relationship experience mostly jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 10:38 PM
2

Flirting IS an expression of interest. It's a socially accepted way of expressing interest. You don't flirt with people you aren't interested in. You grey rock them. Just because a dude is bad at it, or thinks it's stupid, doesn't negate the fact that it's the way most people signal interest to one another. Intentionally omitting it in favor of explicit declarations of interest comes off robotic, socially stunted, and awkward...and most people don't like it, even if it's less lewd than the examp…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 10:33 PM
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IMO, YMMV with this. Befriending women is absolutely helpful, but the behaviors that cause a guy to get "friendzoned" are usually specific unattractive things that men are doing, so men shouldn't practice them. What they should do is drop the expectation that they're out to get a girlfriend and just socialize with women. Leave the nature of the connection undefined. Don't rush to label it friendship, just be in the moment. Sometimes doing that will lead to women being more forward or expressing …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:46 PM
1

That's a lot of words to claim that men are helpless passengers in life who are beholden completely and irretrievably to the genetic circumstances of their birth and nothing else. What a bleak outlook...a world with no free will. I feel very sad for you and the mental gymnastics you've come up with to justify such a depressing worldview.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 09:37 PM
2

You keep expanding “skill issue” until it basically means everything in life. If everything from money to geography to mental health is just “skill,” then the word loses any actual meaning and just becomes a label for outcomes you don’t like. ...Or, alternatively, men actually have the power to upgrade their station in life. And aren't helpless victims. “No women interested” gets treated like direct proof of personal failure, instead of considering filtering, visibility, or the fact that attract…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:16 PM
2

lol ok...I have no idea what the previous poster thinks that has to do with dating though!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:08 PM
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By not attaching importance to the outcome. These guys need to stop going out with the goal of "get a girlfriend." Go out with the goal of "have a good time with my buddies at the bar, talk to a few women, and have at least one decent conversation with a group of them where I elicit a laugh, even if nothing happens." Start from there until conversation with women is easy. Then switch up the goal to introduce banter or flirting. Make "practice" exercises around things that are failure points from…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 08:06 PM
9

There's no muddying of anything. Tell a woman who's flirting with you "I think you're hot, you have nice tits, and I want to put my penis in you and ejaculate" and watch her run for the hills. Flirting builds sexual tension that then wants to be released. What you're advocating for beats it back out of the room with the ugly stick and kills it forever. And I'm using "autistic level take" because if a guy isn't neurodivergent and actually thinks this, he needs a fucking reality check and there's …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 07:03 PM
2

Grooming and fitness improve presentation, not baseline facial structure, height, bone structure, or aging trajectory. Again, nobody is thinking about that except plastic surgeons and incels. There are millions of women, some attractive, some average, some quite ugly. If a guy literally can't get ANY women interested in him, that is not a "ceiling." That is a skill issue. Income being “simple tasks done well” is just not how economies or upward mobility work in real life. If it were that easy, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 06:53 PM
16

Nah they simply can't wrap their brain around women being attracted to men, because they are miserable company and have nothing going for them...and rather than fix that, they make it about everything else. They rage about women's obsession with "Chad" believing everything attractive about Chad to be looks, genetics, etc. but ignore the role of personality entirely. Then they write this whole creative narrative around Chad that he's rich, has high status, etc. and then write stupid crap like "wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:38 PM
9

i don't even know what the fuck this means. dragon balls? is that supposed to mean something? the position of the moon? Literally just exist in the world and meet women. Stop expecting them to fall in love with you because you have a picture on a dating app, and this will magically all make sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:34 PM
15

Autistic level take. Direct statements of desire for an outcome isn't flirting. It comes off exactly as I said two comments ago. Flirting is suggestive and builds tension, and an interested women will reciprocate. Still a skill issue if a guy doesn't get this and thinks leading with unconstrained lust will do anything, it'll just get him rejected for being a creep. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:32 PM
18

The fact that you think this means you fundamentally don't understand what flirting is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:18 PM
1

It's of little consequence. Women hyper-fixate on things that are genetic, such as height and bone structure. "Face" in general is really important. And if you look at the men who are partnered off, there are no universal rules. Plenty of doughy, Teddy-bear types who get girlfriends. Plenty of skinny bony guys. Plenty of short and average men in relationships (usually to short women, which, since women are shorter than men, makes sense). Nobody besides plastic surgeons and incels are analyzing "…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:17 PM
21

So then why are you talking about pictures of men? You realize that women who are highly sexual are turned on by male bodies in motion, right? And not pictures of men? This is one of the reasons that physical attraction for women (and many men, too) requires meeting in person, because mannerisms, how he moves, seeing him in 3D and in motion, is actually a huge driver of straight women's attraction to men. And they're not going to get turned on to the point of making attraction actionable by look…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:10 PM
12

"Being sexually direct" isn't a good move. It's usually a sign of desperation, lack of social skill, pornbrained tendencies, or actual predatory creepiness. Flirting. The word you're looking for is flirting.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:05 PM
5

I mean, perhaps, but I'm talking about the fact that in 2026 so many guys are unwilling to even do anything to meet women other than swipe on the same shitty Match group apps that everyone has been complaining about for a decade. At any given time, 2/3 of single women aren't even on them, ffs, and these guys are acting like it's the only way to meet women. And FWIW, I do agree about the pics. There's so many "how come I get no likes" posts from guys who literally have 4 pics with the same scowli…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:04 PM
24

This is some weird ass shit. Sounds like you've just never met a woman who enjoys sex. It's pretty awesome, you should try it sometime. Although you might want to try and lose the attitudes, it's pretty much a buzzkill to any woman who does enjoy sex, ijs.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:58 PM
5

Looks, height, income, status, social circles, timing, geography, culture, mental health, luck, and dating app algorithms all heavily affect outcomes. Looks: can be improved through grooming and fitness, and personal style to match one's appearance to his aesthetic and desired aesthetic (since like usually attracts like). Skill issue. Height: luck Income: Not really relevant to attraction, but absolutely a skill issue. You can make lots of money doing some very simple tasks really well. Status: …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:46 PM
1

No one should fear losing their partner like that. Yall should feel confident together that yall wont bail on each other Once the relationship is established, agreed - this should be the norm. The good redpill "advice" is mostly about things to do to better yourself pre-meeting somebody, and how to conduct oneself during the early stages of getting to know someone, where this is no commitment. It misses the mark on a lot of the "building connection" stuff, but there is value in a guy seeing hims…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:29 AM
–

Arguing that "we do not live in the jungle" in the same breath as "mating choices are based on biology" is...a choice. The economic parallels and the soft Trojan horse into favorable treatment of socialism (a disgusting concept, to be sure) stand out. How ironic that the sexual variant of an economic ideology that has a demonstrated 200 year history of being able to only provide "the bare minimum" to people (which includes food/shelter/water), and sometimes not even that, is somehow pitched as t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 04:08 AM
5

It is intentional, but it's not coming from the "status quo." It's usually because leftist-Marxist forces attach themselves to a cause and attempt to manipulate it to their preferred ends... ...while religious fundamentalist forces attach themselves to opposite causes and attempt to manipulate it to their preferred ends. It's why feminism is increasingly teetering on the edge of socialist policy (even when it comes to policies that harm women), and why "redpill" is flirting with Islamist-adjacen…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 06:26 PM
3

This is actually an interesting point, and one that probably deserves more attention than being buried here in this sub conversation within a sub-conversation. I think the issue with that is two-fold. First, it falls on the guy to communicate his needs. Since women are stereotypically more passive (or seen as more passive) in relationships when it comes to "pursuit", this means that she will expect the man to communicate his needs. However, from his point of view, if he has to tell her to do som…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 06:19 PM
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I think it has to be clarified. Someone maintaining a youthful optimism and curiosity towards the world - and wanting to have fun like a high school or college girlfriend would - is endearing. People who approach dating like a business deal are...offputting, to say the least. However, the vaguely pedophilic or predatory "no-boundary-seeking" aspects of "innocence" being glorified in some circles is absolutely disgusting. I also think (and this is true of women's preferences for men also, as many…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:59 PM
1

But again , as i said , i was talking about why young men stopped approaching. It's not entirely about the media but for sure one of the important reasons , women and feminists said men, please stop approaching women now , just completely , they called men are creeps , men are r@pists, etc etc, it's shown all over media and promoted in the social circles proudly, yeah it's not some men , it's men , what are young men supposed to do especially who didn't get to interact with women that much in mi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:22 PM
1

The craziest thing about this meme is that it was so good I saved it on my computer... ...Over a decade ago. So yeah, "guy A" isn't anything new. Guys have been doing this for over a generation now, didn't work then, and it STILL doesn't work lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:13 PM
2

I don't really think women are sharing "unfiltered truth" to you rather than just gaining sympathy from you saying how shit these men are and how low their standards are but you didn't really explain how you get that information so maybe you and the women you meet are the exception. They're close friends. Probably one or two would have wanted to date me if I weren't already married, for all I know...but the fact that I'm "off-market" allows us to discuss things openly as friends like what their …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:12 PM
1

I was a single guy at one time. And at 18, I was an idiot...a freshman in college trying to hook up with all the women I should've been dating, and trying to date all the women I should've hooked up with and just called it a day (and those specific women were fully down for that, btw). Despite that, I still experienced "success" but I wasn't getting what I wanted: I let one of the most fun hookups from orientation fizzle instead of locking in a relationship when I wanted that because I "didn't w…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 05:00 PM
1

I have never thought that either, but I've definitely been around some "straight" friends who've made some questionable statements when drunk. Most of them are happily married to women, though. 🤷‍♂️ I don't read much into it. Like, if a woman kissed a friend when she was 13 at a slumber party because they were all trying to learn how to kiss because she had a crush on some guy, I didn't really care when I met her in college or my 20s. And a lot of women never do that kind of stuff. It's just not…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:46 PM
1

I and the few other young men I have spoken with on this question represent a small enough data set that I can't assume it to be in any way representative, but the answer appears to be "yes, they do have issues". I received no advice from men in my immediate or extended family, at all, beyond "You should date, you need to get that experience.". Plenty of pressure was placed on me but exactly 0 material advice, of any kind, was ever offered. Neither did I. My dad was largely useless on this and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:41 PM
4

I mean, obviously it would be vetted? And any skillset that is important to society functioning is one that should be taught. The nuclear family is a crux of individual rights in society and outsourcing proper parenting and mentorship to "the state" is how we got here in the first place. "The government" is not going to effectively teach male students how to pick up female students. There are so many different cultures and subcultures within a pluralistic society that parents will become apoplep…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 07:22 PM
2

100%. It's a sycophant that does what you tell it to and tells you what you want to hear, even when the truth is the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:59 PM
2

While there are some individual decent points in here, this post is also all over the place. So men should focus on status and resources to attract women, but status and resources are no longer required? Confusing. The truth is resources ("status" is nebulous bullshit after high school) should be pursued to a degree a man utilizes them to fund the rest of his desired lifestyle independent of a woman. They should not be pursued to attract women, nor are they a prerequisite to meet a woman and hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:41 PM
9

This is and has always been the duty of fathers, older brothers, older male cousins, etc. It is not the responsibility of "society" because that's just weird, and most parents don't want strangers talking to their teenage boys about topics related to sexuality unless the curriculum is vetted. It's reasonable that these skills would fall off in a world where over 40% of children are born out of wedlock, however. But they're only getting worse in a world where men are increasingly turning to (pred…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 04:41 PM
0

Collectivist narratives are often bullshit, though. Women might "say" that in a group but the reality is often quite different. For starters, when they answer questions like that, they're not picturing a guy they've been talking to and enjoying the conversation. They're picturing a stranger. Second of all, 80% of what? 80% of single women definitely are not unwilling to be asked out on dates, I'll tell you that. Yes, women with boyfriends and who are married don't want to be asked out. And most …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 03:15 PM
1

They really haven't. In fact, my interactions with single women as a married guy who can get the unfiltered truth about things since I no longer have a horse in the race...have only confirmed that finding a girlfriend would be even easier in 2026 than when I was last single. Being reasonably attractive (or at least, not unattractive), socially competent, and able to communicate directly and playfully is more than enough to go on dates with attractive women in 2026.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 03:07 PM
2

Correct, I haven't been, but I have lots of single friends, and I have eyes and talk to them and see what they're doing, and I see what's working and what's not. Those of you who boil attractions down to merely some objective standard of looks, as if people don't have individual preferences, come across as bitter and socially stunted. And those who go through life afraid of "offending" some imaginary Fuck-You-Cabal of internet feminists as they purport to interact with real women in daily life c…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 03:05 PM
1

Because there is no in person humiliation to a rejection online, so risk averse men prefer it. Because women's experiences on dating apps almost always are guaranteed to include one of: (1) a creepy, thirsty, porn brained guy in her inbox lusting grotesquely after her, and the experience is negative enough to make her not want to do it again... or (2) a metric fuckton of likes and message requests that she can't possibly respond to all in time, and guys crashing out that she's "ghosting" them. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 09:52 AM
1

No, they don't. People have been trying to inject Marxist talking points into society for over 100 years. People inherently value freedom in the West more than they value some contrived notion of equality that ensures equal outputs regardless of inputs. What we've done is inject Marxist policy into a formerly more capitalist system that simply needed enforcement of guardrails, and all of the most Marxist-influenced areas are the areas that are causing the greatest issues. Federal funding of stud…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 09:38 AM
13

Your results in dating do not depend on how "women" think. They depend on what the woman standing in front of you thinks. This is the mistake men make. Collectivism isn't a natural state of existence. You aren't dating a tribunal of women. You are dating an individual woman who has her own unique thoughts and feelings on the matter in question, and if she feels comfortable with you, generally safe, physically benevolent to attracted, curious, and is having a good time, she's going to be much mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 09:31 AM
24

This is a really good, balanced take and generally accurate to my own life experiences. Also, most women don't want to be asked out, out of the blue. Have a conversation, build rapport, then before you're about to go your separate ways forever, ask if there's a way to stay in touch and go from there. It's weird to just go up to strangers and ask them out, and most women aren't interested in that. It's also weird to be so inhibited that you're afraid to have random conversations with people, or a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 09:28 AM
3

Leftist (read: not liberal) policy is fundamentally not about helping anyone. It's about creating and exacerbating factional differences within society to maximize the amount of societal grievance and distrust. Then, to mark enough "disadvantaged" groups as oppressed that, collectively, they become the majority and can vote in sweeping major reforms that are detrimental for freedom, and have been tried unsuccessfully at great global cost to the populations forced to endure those "solutions" for …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 09:26 PM
1

While I generally agree with the premise, I do not agree with the soft insertions of Marxist rhetoric throughout. This has come about because of failures caused through socialist adjacent policy that result in 45% of men being born without ever-present fathers, declining standards for what masculine behaviors are that tolerate bullshit like "rape jokes" etc., and a tendency to project the moral failures of Hollyweird perverts onto normal men in the wake of scandals like Harvey Weinstein and even…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 09:09 PM
1

...what in the Islam???
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 09:02 PM
–

FWIW good men also avoid women who make dating transactional. Strongly believe that the women who approach dating like an employer on a job interview end up just as frustrated (and picking from amongst the scrap heap) as the horny losers who make women's entire existence about his dick. No/low pressure meets ups first are best. Show me you can make a legitimate effort to build a connection without any up front demands, and that you're fun and a good conversationalist. Mutual attraction is presup…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 08:54 PM
1

Money has made exactly 0 vaginas wet and aroused in human history. Most women aren't gold diggers. The mistake socially inexperienced men make is assuming that every man doing interesting things who's attractive is "rich." The only thing that's changed with the older generations and today is that performative bullshit like courtship doesn't work anymore, and women won't be tempted to marry men they're not attracted to for "resources" because they can earn their own. That benefits men with person…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:44 PM
1

He said that people are moving everything online, and the trend of meeting people online is growing. He is completely correct about that, you can't really deny it. He was referring to dating apps, which are less and less popular every year. Nor does it speak for your case either. You have no idea how big that "some" is, and you have no idea how big a chunk of that "some" are the ones that just gave it a go and stopped using it instantly. 12/12 is actually a pretty strong indicator. Small sample …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:43 PM
0

Ice
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:13 PM
5

Both of you aren't right. Women just don't want to be asked out, out of the blue. Build a damn rapport first, and the "rules" she has towards strangers won't apply. Act like a stranger, and the "rules" will apply. Women do not want to be asked out by random thirsty men who she knows nothing of other than "he thinks she's hot" in a general sense. SOME might be open to that at a bar or other social setting. Most women want a connection first, then to be asked out, and the where isn't a big deal as…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:49 PM
1

What isn't really true? That online dating is the primary or preferred way to meet people. The fact that some women have dating apps they rarely use, or tried it once and didn't like it, doesn't negate that. Somewhere between 30-50% of new couples formed are formed on OLD. This statistic is as wrong as that 80/20 OKCupid study yet continues to misquoted by clueless guys on here who pedestalize online dating apps and can't figure out why apps decide to predatorily monetize their desperation aren'…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 12:31 PM
1

Men being willing to bend over backwards for her isn't really attractive behavior for most women. That's the domain of simps, and most women don't actually like simps. Most women realize that these efforts are performative and unsustainable, or those efforts are so all-defining for the man that she has no idea who he is beyond the favors and performative bullshit, so that prevents any kind of real connection. Some inexperienced women will be wowed by it temporarily, but that usually has a shelf …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:23 AM
4

This really isn't true. There are a couple Gen Z women who play hockey in the various groups I play hockey with. Some have become good friends. These are fit, active, socially competent women who are (or plan to become) college educated. Most (to my knowledge) come from good homes. They're not drunk sorority girls. Of the ones I've had casual conversations as friends with about dating, NONE of them have an OLD profile, or if they do, they check it sparingly and don't pay that much attention to i…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:11 AM
-2

Most women are not focused on "just looks" and a lot of good women are waiting to be asked out, but they want to be asked out the right way by someone who's attractive enough and engages in certain behaviors that make her see him as a possibility. Flirting is absolutely one of those behaviors.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 05:06 AM
8

If someone can't flirt without being explicit, that person doesn't understand flirting. Flirting is not about being lewd. It's about being suggestive and playful while leaving enough reasonable doubt that there's inherent tension. AKA she's not 100% sure he's definitely interested, only that he seems willing to take the next step closer to the deep end. It leaves her simutaneously feeling like things are moving, wanting more (assuming she wants him in the first place), certain of his interest, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:04 PM
1

Not knowing what you want is an issue though. There is a difference between not knowing what you want and having it all figured out. And there is also a difference between knowing what you want and expecting your partner to make it happen vs. assessing for compatibility in what you want. Also "knowing what you want" doesn't need to mean "has the exact plan figured out to get there, and is unwilling to deviate from the plan, even though there's more than one way to get there." Subtle, but importa…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 02:58 PM
1

None of this is about "trad wives." Most men in modern society expect to both do chores alongside their partner and earn money alongside each other as most families have been two income for going on 50+ years at this point. This is about the initial connection that must exist at the start of dating for a "Good Man With Standards" to consider a woman to be worth partnering with. And if this means you have to meet IRL or have a longer talking stage ahead of time, so be it. Both men and women would…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 01:01 PM
1

The best way I can explain this, since my other reply came across a bit more generic than I want: FIRST POINT When you partner with someone, you never know how life is going to go. For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Men want to know that women see him as the investment, not just the house. Furthermore, people change. When I was in my 20s, I thought I wanted to live in a city forever. I did know I wanted to drive a car to work and own property (because renting is one of the worst fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 12:45 PM
2

Is it all about being political correct and not giving clear expectations? A woman saying "someday I'd like to live in a house in the suburbs" will get you as an answer "yeah, that sounds great" from a man. Not from a guy who wants to live in a city, or in a rural area. He might say that to be polite, but if he's screening for compatibility, he might have realized she soft disqualified herself. Or, if he wants to see about a connection, he'll counter with..."what about a more rural area, if ever…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 12:35 PM
–

Women are evaluated on personality, too, by men with standards. Even the men willing to engage solely based on interaction create categories like "for casual only" that basically signal to a woman that looks alone really aren't enough, unless her goal is casual sex...and most women want more than that out of life. Men also are not evaluated only on social skills, but social skills are a critical metric of adult competence since they pretty much shape a person's life trajectory since they are in …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 12:18 PM
1

Exactly. One conveys uniqueness, the other disparages a group but then exempts the person hearing it from the disparaging remark despite the fact they belong to those group. That's why they're taken differently. A lot of women react positively to "you're different than a lot of other girls" too. People want to feel unique, and phrasing that makes them sound unique is validating. People don't want to feel like you want to go scorched earth on their entire gender and then happen to remember to add…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 12:05 PM
2

Okay, the longer explanation: No. Women don't convey how they see men through their expectations. This is one of those "sex isn't something men give to women" level of fundamental views of how something needs to be seen for there to be any hope of compatibility. The way you prove to a man you value him isn't in what you expect from him, but how you treat him. How do you treat a man who hasn't proven he has anything to offer you yet. Are you decent to him? Are you friendly? Are you interested in …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 12:01 PM
0

Yes, this is generally true. I think the people that go into these interactions wanting to dissect a person's current income, future earning potential, and lifestyle based off job titles or other superficial metrics that don't involve getting to know them are, at a minimum, trying to ensure the person is the same SES as them. I think that in a sense of building genuine connection, however, this is best assessed in terms of desired future lifestyle and what is the plan to get there (and having so…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:46 AM
2

Agreed. The male friendships is an entirely separate issue, and often has to do with how men treat other men. I have a good number of male friends, and I feel it too. I get that it's worse for other men who don't have this. Case in point: our hockey group chat has been dead for a week. I texted it yesterday morning because one of our teams (not even my team) needs a goalie for tomorrow night and wanted to make sure everyone noticed that. That sparked an hour of intense texting, memeing, and joke…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:37 AM
3

This. We don't want to be pedestalized for money attributes either. Women saying "he's a doctor" or "well, he works in finance" to each other as some kind of good first date impression makes us as nauseous as women feel when they find out some dude she went on a first date with was locker room talking her body in front of his bros.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:29 AM
5

I'd agree with this. Boring men with indistinguishable looks from other men who "have a job" are getting left behind. So too are women with no useful skills who "are willing to be a housewife" and depend entirely on a man's salary to sustain her life and that of any future kids. Most people don't want dependent live-in roommates with little to no likable personality/attraction aspects. But that said, there are women who date like I described in my original comment. And when I was single, I may h…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:28 AM
2

In short, no. But Im out at the moment but will respond to this more thoughtfully when I get home.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 04:28 PM
9

It's meant to describe the way man experience other people in the world, which goes beyond nice guy tropes and extends to nearly every relationship in their lives. Even in a healthy sense: We do not want to give one sided utility to people who don't offer us something we're looking for in return. We will give utility to people who offer us what we want in a transactional sense, but those relationships are surface level and we enter into them with low expectations and often no desire for more (ie…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 01:56 PM
44

This is a nuanced take that I'm willing to engage with because it goes beyond the stereotypical BS of "women like assholes, waah I'm so nice, why is that such a turnoff? The world needs to change for me, and it's all wimmen's fault" ranting. So, here it is: The reality is that for most of our adult lives, men are only valued for our UTILITY. Not because of our "friendship." You know who values you for your utility? A fucking employer. A fucking employer that will sing your praises, then replace …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 01:11 PM
1

First of all, none of this is about YOU so don't make it be. But you're still missing the point: "Straight behaviors" and "masculine behaviors" are not the same thing. Straight people are repulsed by gay behaviors, even in bi people. That's actually healthy. Gay behavior SHOULD be a turn off for straight people. Saves a lot of wasted time. Meanwhile, women absolutely lose their shit when they see a guy petting a dog, playing with his young cousins/nieces/nephews, or taking care of small/wounded …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 12:56 PM
2

Most women still prefer masculine traits in men. Confidence, strength, assertiveness, leadership, emotional stability, physical dominance. There are degrees to this. A few points, first: These are (in a good sense) traits of competence, not masculinity. A man who is prepared to meet the challenges of the world. Women can also have these traits. All of these traits can be overdone, which is repellent to women. Women do not like cocky braggarts, do not go for roided up freakshows (unless they're a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 12:53 AM
3

Same, that's a good bedroom policy and it's worked out great for us too
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 05:52 PM
1

The best comments are circumstancial. If they're there because they potentially are looking for something from you, they might be interested in learning about you. But far more commonly, you ask them about themselves. A couple feeler questions to get a feel for who they are and find some common ground. A common question for a volunteer (using the example from my previous post) would be "Hey, I've seen you around here a few times, and just wanted to introduce myself. I'm TopShelfSnipes. What's yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 05:45 PM
2

The bottom line is that any social gathering can have people who stand out. Even nerds who are social go to parties and drink, they just aren't getting on the bar and doing body shots off girls while singing along and dancing to loud music. A wallflower will never stand out, no matter how conventionally "cool" a group is. You can be "the life of the party" if you volunteer regularly at the same place, and you're the guy who knows and interacts with everyone. And that'll afford you infinitely mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:50 PM
1

Then that sounds like "life of the party" is more about surrounding yourself with people who share your interests - which is a social skill - than it is about some performative acting routine. Which is exactly what I said about becoming socially competent in my last post, in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:39 PM
1

There is no such thing as personality "coming naturally" to people. Most people who are socially competent practice it and get good at it over time. Most teenagers are awkward AF and most outgrow it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 01:47 PM
–

This isn't necessarily because of "entrepreneurialness" but you do hit on it it a little bit when you talk about nice guys. It's really just a marketing/branding issue. Guys who get girlfriends are giving them an experience. "He makes her feel like nobody else does". Nice guys purport to treat girlfriends "well." It's the difference between a sales pitch for a product that can make your dreams come true, and signal to the rest of the world who you are in a powerful and unique way... ...and a pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 01:46 PM
3

"Nice guys" are just boring or pushovers 99% of the time. If you don't want to be a "nice guy", be neither of those things. There are some ugly ass dudes that can be the life of the party. Be like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 07:21 AM
–

I think it's also cope. A dude who skipped working out, missed out on all the social markers, lived an inhibited period of life in his 20s or 30s, gave his whole life to his job/career, and now has nothing to show for it except money needs to come to terms with the fact that he blew his sexual prime, so once he has a respectable amount of money, can convince himself he "made it" and is now more attractive that at any previous point, which, if it's in his mid to late 30s, most people start social…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:28 PM
7

These takes are honestly very weird. Like, women only want to fuck Chad and be feral and have his babies, and they don't care how broke or criminal Chad is... ...but then they want to use sex with omega losers to trap them as providers to pay for her under the guise of paying for the kids that she never wanted to have with him because she already has Chad's kids... it's just so fucking weird. I really wonder how many married couples, couples that are in good/passionate relationships, or parents …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:21 PM
13

100% this. It's only ghetto thots and trailer park types that are looking to do the hobosexual thing...and they're usually mooching off almost-as-broke-as-them types. Most women just expect a guy who's going to be a force multiplier to her own standard of living - he won't mooch off her, he'll be fun, he's fiscally responsible enough to save towards goals like homeownership and retirement, and he's competent enough at work that she has faith he's not going to come home out of nowhere fired or ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:06 PM
–

IDK, odd, can't relate. But I probably wouldn't have entered into a relationship with someone like that in the first place because those people just sound not fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:54 AM
1

a single health scare will blow up your savings ...So then you probably shouldn't be stressing yourself out for no reason to give yourself hypertension, cortisol overload, etc., yeah?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:56 PM
1

Sure you do. Just do your job and stop stressing about it. Stress isn't necessary to complete tasks at work. If the company sucks, apply for the same job at competitors. You'll probably even get a raise for making the jump.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:40 PM
1

Have two parents but they weren't great role models and their marriage (despite the fact they're still together) is far from exemplary. In a lot of cases, watching them taught me what I didn't want to do with my own life, and I had to find other role models probably from adolescence.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:33 PM
4

One of the best part of sex is the woman's reaction - especially the orgasm - that give the ultimate feeling of "I did that to her." Her moans, the eye contact, the things she says, the dirty talk, the ideas she contributes, the way her body quivers around me when she goes over the edge. So no, fucking an unconscious corpse, beyond the predatory aspects, holds absolutely no appeal to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:31 PM
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Nah that's some incel shit. If someone's that ugly you just wouldn't want to fuck them at all, not "do some things and not others" that's just weird shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:28 PM
–

Let's put it this way: Your ex gives you blowjobs. But not just any blowjobs, fucking amazing blowjobs. Butttt you break up with each other. Now you get a new GF. New GF has never given a blowjob before but wants to try. What do you tell her? NO? I'd bet my house that no guy who enjoys blowjobs is going to say no. So, you're not going to gatekeep that from her. So you let her give you a blowjob. And it's horrible. She uses her teeth, doesn't get you off, has to stop every 10 seconds because her …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:21 PM
1

I choose to live my life stress free, yeah. Stress literally kills you bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 11:17 PM
1

Yup, and for men it's largely about work, politics, or "remember when" conversations - especially about sports. The single guys will complain about dating, the married guys will fluctuate between making self-deprecating humor about being whipped (which is lame AF), and a handful of people with very niche hobbies will go into super detailed convos about them that make outsiders' and casuals' eyes glaze over. They stop talking about people, new experiences, things we like, things we want to try, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:53 PM
1

I'm not FIRE, but I do live well below my means, and I made sure my means was sufficient to sustain my lifestyle because I worked hard in my 20s and made good choices with money but I didn't let work define me like a lot of people did/do. Kids actually help keep you young because they communicate like kids, so being dry and boring is a horrible way to parent. It's also a major factor in raising socially stunted kids, for those who do it that way. Dads should run around with their kids, make joke…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:46 PM
2

An interesting POV. I take a slightly different interpretation though: most people are followers, and will mirror those around them. Surround them with fun people, and they'll be fun. Surround them with boring, dry, career-climbers, and they'll write those lame Linkedin posts, talk about work at the bar, and ruminate about their career trajectory unironically as if anyone else actually cares. When we're in our 20s, most people hang out with peers and prioritize socialization. Work and family pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:40 PM
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But if it "hurt" with the others, she didn't only do it with him. She still tried it with them and didn't like it, so they weren't "missing out" (which is how it's always framed on these boards by the dudes complaining about it: "she did xyz with him but won't do xyz with me even though I just want to try that with her"). It's not her "refusing to try" if she tried it with her current partner and decided he's just bad at it. And she'd probably try to help him be better at it rather than taking s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:34 PM
–

Yeah, this doesn't make sense to me either. Only thing I could see maybe falling into #2 would be someone might like a certain sex act with an ex better, but the only way you'd know that is to do it with your current partner, so you wouldn't be gatekeeping it from them while pining for the activity with your ex. And you'd probably do it repeatedly while trying to get them to get better at it before you just decided to not want the particular sex act anymore. So the current partner wouldn't be ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 10:32 PM
4

That's really not what sex therapy is. It's usually highly tailored to people with issues around intimacy where the sex therapist works to build trust with a patient first. Sex is only introduced if it makes sense, and is usually within the confines of getting a person past unhealthy sexual limits/fixations (such as never nudes, for one), and the therapist takes precautions around it. If you ever watch the show "Virgin Island" (highly entertaining btw, even if it's quite cringe) that kind of sum…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:45 AM
7

I'd agree with this too. In my 30s, and "middle age malaise" is a thing. A lot of dudes stop having fun. The interesting thing about social media is that it's a time capsule. You can go back and find wild posts from your early 20s full of humor, banter, and "that was awesome!" energy, and then you'll find the same dudes on LinkedIn 15 years later writing those horrendous AI style posts with some "lesson" about business they've learned with a million two sentence paragraphs, culminating in some "…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:32 AM
2

Interesting take, I kind of like it. Biggest argument for manosphere as a pyramid scheme is the desire of those who ascribe to various pill ideologies to seemingly recruit other men into the cult ideology, and the proselytization pushed by those who stand to make the most money at the heart of the ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:23 AM
6

Because most of the good older men are married or in LTRs. The guys still hitting on young girls in their late 30s are usually some combination of inexperienced, weird, pushy, and/or abusive. And some are borderline pedofiles. Most guys don't generally want to date someone who's young enough to be their daughter, also. Totally different stages of life. I suppose if maybe a good dude got recently divorced, and a young attractive woman was looking for "experience" and was sick of dudes her age fum…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:20 AM
3

Answer from a guy: Build more single family homes, since it's a lifestyle more conducive to what most people imagine when they imagine having a family. Most first time homebuyers being 40 isn't a recipe for having kids. Stop pushing highrise construction and shoebox living, which only benefits developers and isn't conducive to families or to not straining infrastructure in ways that diminish quality of life. Better public schools. Stop focusing on equity and ideological content, and focus on lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:12 AM
–

Half the people thinking guys are being "assholes" are often using that term to describe perfectly normal behaviors like making jokes, flirting, light touching with consent, drinking together, or just keeping the women they're spending time with away from these creepy wallflowers who behave jealously and possessively towards women they haven't even really interacted with. This point is not really debatable unless it's clarified what kinds of "assholes" are being discussed - the guys who are "ass…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 02:05 PM
1

There is no "right." That's the biggest thing holding you back, is that rigid thinking, that there is one way to be attractive. This is why men who like alternative music and prefer to dress casually, who have a naturally lean physique, end up performatively buying suits that they hate, that don't look good on him, pursuing a shitty "status-y" job that treats him like a wage slave to make money he doesn't need because he was doing perfectly fine at 80K and doesn't need 150K at the cost of his me…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:23 PM
2

Men do not get socially punished for saying things are not going well in private circles. EVERYONE gets punished for sperging out to the internet, complaining, being negative, and expecting total strangers to drop everything and feel sorry for you. That's not adult behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:13 PM
1

Yeah, it really is. There are 8 billion people in the world, and if you live in the West and speak English, almost a billion are culturally compatible with you. Half of those will be women, and about 10% of those will be appropriately aged ranged for you. If only 10% are single, that's 5 million people to choose from. If you're not able to attract a single person out of 5 million, there are clear problems and clear steps to fix that in all but the most extreme examples (extreme disability, disfi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 01:10 PM
2

It's a shame that people ONLY ever apply this to groups like men. Whenever it's another group who is disadvantaged, we must bend over backwards to feel sorry for and help them. For men, though, it's 'pull yourselves up by your bootstraps'. No, we really don't. Only socialists think we have to bend over backwards to help every charity case. A lot of people are poor due to choices they made. Sexlessness is rising and it's not 'little difficulty' even if you do get it eventually, a lot of jestering…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 10:18 PM
3

I mean, I always label incel arguments in favor of compelling women to date them as advocacy for sexual socialism since that's basically what it is. Even socialism has (some) valid critiques of free markets, but the solution they prescribe isn't a solution at all, and would actually make things far worse (while destroying freedom and inherently creating an oppressive state), which is exactly what would happen if "government looksmaxxing" and all the more dystopian ideas incels have were tried. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 05:38 PM
1

IDK, in college, probably about 1 in 5 women were overweight if I had to guess. It really wasn't much. And living in a major city afterwards, that was probably slightly higher among the middle class/upper middle class socioeconomic strata I was in. Maybe 1 in 4, or 1 in 3? So to me that always felt more like top 20%, not top 5%. Maybe it was top 5%, since I wasn't counting people with vastly different lifestyles or socioeconomic classes, IDK. But even in those subsets of people, I still didn't f…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:50 PM
1

IDK, that was just generally who I dated. But I didn't really treat them differently than each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:37 PM
12

For a bro I know, if he's seeking a solution, I'll work through it with him and discuss it, be a sounding board, come up with a plan. If he's just whining though? FOH, let's talk about something else.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:32 PM
0

...and none of that has made men more attracted to fat women. None of that has made heart disease look at a fat woman and say, "You know what? I'll spare her from coronary artery disease, she's just being herself." None of that has made men who wouldn't be nice to fat women before be nice to fat women now. None of that makes men at speed dating events who want an attractive partner "give a chance" to the fattest women there when his visceral reaction at the sight of her is disgust. So how "effec…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:31 PM
4

Incels are a minority. Most men in Western countries have little difficulty getting laid or getting girlfriends.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:27 PM
9

The short answer for why there's defeatism is that the brain is wired to protect psychological safety, particularly that of someone in a frail mental state. Which is why the solution is often challenge. If you create a sense of loss tied to not trying, then the brain will want to try. If you don't try, you can't truly fail. So if you can convince yourself that something is a lost cause, you can protect that last shred of psychological safety that suggests "well, I could do it if I really wanted …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:22 PM
6

While I'm not redpill, I will say that some of the things the redpill has to say helped me make sense out of confusing adolescent interactions when I was younger - like why more girls that I was most uninhibited around always seemed to like me, and why if I caught a crush and started "liking" a girl and got serious around her and trying to impress her, that tended to fade. I learned some silly verbal tricks - which also work in friendships and in negotiation more generally - like how to label in…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 04:03 PM
5

I'd generally agree with this, and it's a major reason why I stay purplepilled. Classic redpill always had too much of a focus on stupid gimmicky shit like pickup lines, cold approaches, and shitty-salesman-elevator-pitches, which is why I've never ascribed to it...but there were always some good nuggets in there about not pedestalizing the women as well as how to banter and flirt, how to actively listen and communicate with women (and break male-male communication patterns that are often deeply…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:53 PM
1

A woman should have an expectation for how she wants to be treated and reject anyone who doesn't measure up to that. She should also be continually re-evaluating that standard for whether or not it's realistic, and can adjust it over time. As for me, if a woman was interesting to me, I just went off and had fun with her. I didn't pedestalize her, and I didn't catch feelings beyond initial butterflies until we were already dating, in which case I went at a pace that felt comfortable based on the …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:38 PM
11

Random women on the internet aren't going to give that to you, nor do they care. Collectivist problems are unsolvable. Welcome to why socialism always fails. Economic socialism, and now what you're advocating for, which is basically sexual socialism - redistributive struggle sessions. 4 billion women are not going to come to you and apologize for their "privilege." For your own mental health, let go. You don't control the world, and will never be able to dictate global responses to placate those…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:27 PM
13

The solution is what it always has been. But first... Men also hate women whining - why do you think "where have all the good men gone" triggers such incel rage? And us married guys certainly don't really GAF when we hear it either... NOBODY wants to hear adults bitching, and you realize as adults that most people's mental health is kinda hanging on by a thread, so they avoid negative people and negative experiences to safeguard it. So what's the solution? Grab life by the balls and fix your shi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:12 PM
4

I mean, it's just a suggestion. There's a reason "Reddit mod" is a negative stereotype (and no disrespect to the mods here who seem to allow a lot more discussion than most).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 03:01 PM
2

Exactly. The way some dudes talk about bodybuilding as adults (especially here) is shit we'd have definitely called out as gay when we were all teens. Dudes here writing whole ass dissertations on male jaw structures. FOH
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:58 PM
5

What I’ve learned though is a lot of people like the idea of romantic gestures more than the actual emotional stability attached to them. Those gestures create pressure, not emotional stability. They're way too much, too soon, and they create a sense that things are escalating while they are still getting to know someone. So yes, they're corny AF. This shouldn't need explanations from women to validate, I'm saying it here as a dude with plenty of dating experience (and I'm certainly not 18, alth…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:51 PM
8

r slash incelexit is probably one of the better ones online, as long as they're looking to get past the anger and do something productive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:44 PM
17

This is the correct answer as to why some dudes talk like this. "Getting a woman to have sex with you" is seen as an accomplishment in all-male spaces, so the language those guys will use reflects that. Also, not to be discounted - a lot of guys lie about this stuff, too. "Yeah I banged her" is an easy thing for a guy to say to lie about something he hasn't done if he doesn't want his friends to know he's still a virgin, and isn't going to invite scrutiny or questions that would expose the lie. …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:41 PM
40

Because we don't want to hear it either.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:34 PM
7

I feel like anyone who doesn't understand this argument has never actually worked or travelled in the hood or in bad neighborhoods late at night. The difference is that there's often a behavior component - the dude tweaking out and mumbling to himself, or the scowling guy who's walking down the street extremely aggressively like he's angry about something... and even men know to cross the street, to put their hand in their pocket on the knife they're carrying, to be ready to unholster their CCW …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:25 PM
8

Flowers and "romantic gestures" are corny AF especially when you're still in early stages. Just go have fun with them, man. Never said you were spineless...said that's how performative chivalry comes off.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 02:08 PM
7

Nah it's not that deep. Women just don't want to be pedestalized or feeling like they're dating a servant. Also, these guys usually lead with their generally nice, often spineless, and pedestalizing behavior. There's nothing for her to go off other than his "niceness" which feels fake and performative, so there's no connection or attraction, and she's left wondering why he appears to be holding himself back or otherwise uncomfortable with being a more normal/human version of himself, so with not…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 01:47 PM
–

I responded to Zabadoodude. Nowhere did I say that. Nowhere did he say that (and I agreed with his comment). You then replied to me arguing about faked interests. You replied to me before I replied to you. I'm not sure why you're arguing a point neither one of us made.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 09:04 PM
–

Nowhere have I suggested people do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 08:44 PM
–

Interests can absolutely be artificially limited by upbringing. I know quite a few guys who were forced into bad habits like gaming because they were over-parented by poor parents who "had no money" for sports, made to study or stay in their rooms, and gravitated towards gaming and television since those were the only hobbies they were allowed to have except 1-2 they hated that parents forced (like "debate team" or band playing a classical instrument in a genre of music they didnt like). They we…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:22 PM
0

I understand fine, and it's worked out well for me. Clearly you're the only one struggling with English so badly as to not get my original comment. Oh well, your loss. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 03:16 PM
0

Clearly you are the one struggling with language then. Do better. You are so out of touch and angry I'm not sure whether it's hilarious or pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 02:06 PM
4

There is a middle ground between pedestalizing and people-pleasing for a woman because you're desperate to get with her, and being an over-the-top exaggerated scowling asshole because you think it's attractive to women. Be fun, be someone people want to be around, disagree respectfully when you need to and agree when you agree, and banter and flirt around women generally. See who flirts back. If you're not interested in one who flirts back, stop flirting with her specifically, but be polite. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 02:21 AM
0

"Sexually compatible" covers 90% of the stuff men here pedestalize to the omission of anything else on the list. The other stuff is simply having standards. When you pedestalize sex, you sell yourself short in other areas. Surely, if you understand the English language as a primary speaker (since you say "my language" but don't specify which one, I won't assume), you understand the meaning of "sexually compatible," no? Maybe think about the omission of the things that I say make a woman wife mat…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 02:01 AM
19

A lot of that writing is nerds who grew up to work in entertainment who continue to push the narrative of "hot guys are always jerks, but this nice, oofy-doofy, bumbling, incompetent fool can get a wife who stands by him through thick and thin because he's just so lovable beneath all the unattractive crap." These tropes are so played out, but you have to remember that Hollyweird is full of nerds and pedofiles.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 01:46 AM
3

fr, men on this sub talk about 4b more than women do. Fun fact, most women are heterosexual and aren't going to resign themselves to spending their one and only life chaste and romantically alone for internet political points.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 01:19 PM
–

Social cues and body language.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 01:17 PM
3

If women spammed these same kind of arguments we'd be laughed off this sub. "No men, I promise you, feminine women are actually bad for you!" "Don't choose the busty women, they'll cheat." "Choosing older women is good for you because younger women don't know what they want!" Men would see right through that, and yet they think we're too dumb to see them doing the same thing. Ironically a lot of incel men do spam that in places like ppd tho. They call sex positive women "304s," as if women can't…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 01:09 PM
3

This is such a bad take. One of the things you realize with a little more life experience is how broken everyone actually is, and exactly how much mental illness exists in the world, even among normies. Hooking up, in many cases, is about the woman...not the guy. If it was about the guy, she'd probably want more than a one night stand - if the sex was good, she'd want casual to keep it going...and if the sex and personality was there, she'd want FWB or maybe even a relationship. It's not about y…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 12:59 PM
1

Also, I posted this elsewhere (I created it to explain relationships to ND's), but it summarizes what's necessary to fit into different boxes. Wife material is all four being mutual. Relationship Type Personality Sex/Attraction Loyalty Shared Goals Good Marriage X X X X Failed Marriage X X X Toxic Marriage X X X DeadBR Marriage X X X LTR/Amicable Divorce X X X FWB X X Fling/STR X one of these one of these ONS X Friend X X Colleague one/both of these one/both of these Minion X optional Incompatib…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 12:38 PM
2

This. Also a lot of younger guys honestly have no idea who they are. They're who their parents shaped/forced them to be, which, in the case of bad parents, can be vastly different from who they want to be. They have to learn how to become who they want to be. "Be Yourself" tells those men to stay in their lane, stick to what's familiar and safe, not take risks, and not grow. It's arguably the worst thing you could tell those guys for their desired outcomes in dating, their own mental health, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 12:07 PM
3

People will ignore shortcomings in one of three cases: The benefits outweigh the costs Fear Sunk cost factor Abusers weaponize 2 and 3, and some women were never taught to stand up for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 12:04 PM
1

It's actually highkey hilarious. I'll get accused by incels here of being Chad, a betabux loser whose wife is going to leave imminently, an uggo who skates by on his personality because I'm either ENTP or ENTJ depending on who you ask, a guy who thinks he has personality but really doesn't because I'm just good looking and benefited from halo effect my whole life, a bully who punches down, a clueless bluepiller who never had to learn this stuff because I got lucky, or a redpill adjacent jerk who…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 11:52 AM
-1

Nah some of us just want women that can keep up with us. We don't need to date down to maintain "power" in our own relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 11:48 AM
1

Jesus, you people lead with such envy all the time. I've seen plenty of tall, conventionally attractive friends fail because they lack social skills. It's not that hard. Just go somewhere and have fun. That "initial spark" that people like you pedestalizes disappears in about 3 seconds if a guy sucks at socializing. Y'all do it to yourselves. By the time you interact with anyone, you've self-flagellated for so long that you have no confidence and that comes across. It makes you awkward, inhibite…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 11:42 AM
1

I have no idea what you're talking about. I consider myself above average and have never had problems attracting women. "Like a foot" - how old are you? Is that some kind of Boomer slang? Are you trying to ask me how tall I am?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 02:47 PM
7

The physical: Extremely attractive, sexually compatible, healthy/fit, no disqualifying disabilities The personality: Easy conversation, compatible demeanor, compatible intelligence levels and communication styles, supportive, kind, loving, fun, funny, brings her own ideas to the relationship, loyal, willing to work through problems, can argue without turning toxic or abusive and remain focused on solving the disagreement, stands up for herself/you/any future children if the couple wants kids. Ro…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 02:42 PM
–

Basic taking care of oneself and cultivating a self-identity that you're actually proud of isn't that hard. Building rapport and having fun with people isn't hard. Not racing to duplicitously label that building rapport "friendship" in an attempt to hide your intentions because you're secretly scared of rejection isn't hard. Start there.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 12:03 PM
1

What? This isn't about looks. This is about how any average guy can meet and build rapport with women very easily, and the previous poster (who apparently either blocked me, got banned, or deleted his account) seems to be completely befuddled by normal rapport building. "Average guys" aren't struggling. Guys with 0 social skills are. And I've seen some dudes who should do well fail miserably because they lack social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 12:00 PM
3

And yet again I see 0 advice coming from the bluepill about flirting, only your own personal hatred of it because you're asexual aromantic - and things like flirting that help build tension and attraction for most people when done by others they find attractive and fun, continue to be dismissed out of pocket by you despite the fact most single people enjoy them and consider them important within dating/relationships/hookups. The only misunderstanding here is that you seem to think that your own …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:46 PM
2

And yet instead of making anything remotely resembling a cogent argument, or giving the men here who need it advice about flirting, you continue to accuse everyone else of misunderstanding you while you daily post threads denouncing sex and romantic/relationship intimacy of any kind while never talking about flirting at all - the good, the bad, etc. I don't need to ask for advice on flirting - I'm good, got it down, found my person, and we flirt with each other daily. This isn't about me. This i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:41 PM
0

100%.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:05 PM
1

This one. It's the pedestalizing of women that's a turn off. When I was dating, I got called "different" a lot as a compliment. Some guys are good at being fun, flirting, the game, until the woman is interested back. Then it becomes spineless people pleasing behavior, checking in on her constantly, suffocating levels of communication (often generic) and the opposite of how he behaved to get that far, and she loses interest. My advice to other men on this who struggle with it: give fewer fucks. J…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:02 PM
–

Fun fact: most criminals are incels, unless you count dropping the soap. Despite all the hype they get in blackpill circles, it's kinda hard to pull in an all-male prison. These edgelord takes are really cringe, do better.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:38 PM
5

When I was young I thought if I’m nice maybe I get a chance - so I didn’t join the other gang members rapin and SA women. This is kind of a wild take. "Having a chance" shouldn't be the only reason not to do these things. Fucking someone who doesn't want to fuck you isn't a flex...it's pathetic. The greatest joy in a relationship is being chosen, not in getting sex by any means necessary. Being a feminist isn't going to help you. What's going to help you is having a strong sense of identity and …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:34 PM
7

I'm not sure if that was addressed to me, seeing as it didn't address any of the points in my comment, when what I'm giving is a clear reason why women don't go for the "nice guy." Besides, plenty of women have given "the nice guy" a chance and came to realize he wasn't nearly as nice as he pretended to be. Not every attractive guy with a personality is an "asshole" - that's just the projection of inhibited incels who hate that some men can be more carefree around women in ways they won't allow …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:30 PM
1

Is WHO asked about it? You yourself dismissed flirting as "fake", not exactly a ringing endorsement of the blue pill supposedly giving great advice. There's a reason I stay purple pilled. Yet, the truth remains - most women want to be flirted with by men once mutual attraction has been established. Flirting makes attraction actionable. Blue pill has nothing to say on the matter. And I'm not going to continue to go back and forth with an asexual aromantic who posts variations of the same thread e…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:28 PM
3

You: I still don’t know what they find as an appealing night out. There’s never a straight answer and I cannot read their mind to know everything that needs to be said and done on a night out. Doesn't sound like you know how they operate if you're saying that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:25 PM
1

Most women, from talking to them, see it as an annoyance. It's like if every time you left your house, a homeless guy asked you for money. Eventually you'd get sick of it, and would just stop responding to it altogether, no matter how homeless or hungry the guy looks because it's just "here we go again." Sometimes women just want to get their groceries/do their laundry/commute and go home without being bothered. Cold approachers are basically panhandlers to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:24 PM
1

Good comment. Hopefully the guys spamming "hey you're beautiful, can I have your number?" at random women walking the opposite direction on the sidewalk actually read it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:22 PM
2

Online also has talking stages. I don't know why these guys think that talking to a complete stranger and asking for her number is some great strategy. Sure, someone might say yes once in a while, but you'll get far better yield by building a basic rapport with women first which, if you lead an interesting life, is super easy to do. Like, a cold approach literally knows nothing about the guy other than "he thinks she's hot enough, I guess...and he can maybe give her the most generic compliment e…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:21 PM
0

And they're going to do the same thing by flirting with socialism. Sure, let radical Islamists who hate Western society, don't believe in Western freedoms, and reject Western women's freedoms into the country en masse. Appease a Chinese dictatorship built on a surveillance state hell-bent on dominating world economics and supplanting the US as the premier superpower. While we're at it, decriminalize everything, let violent criminals out, spend public funds we don't have on programs that have zer…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:18 PM
13

If a nice guy is boring, he's still a boring guy. Most people don't want to enter in relationships with people they find boring. Imagine you had a woman who didn't flirt with you, didn't make you feel sexy, but was always doing you favors. She didn't tell interesting stories, wasn't funny, had no sexual experience, and struggled with her confidence. But she was "nice." If you have standards, you wouldn't enter into a relationship with her. "Nice guys" fundamentally don't understand this. And wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 07:09 PM
4

You've already established that you're an outlier (asexual aromantic) so the rule holds. BP doesn't have answers about flirting/banter. Falls under "be yourself" which for many people (especially young people) who haven't finished the self-discovery process and are very much socially inhibited because of unresolved paranoia level fears of social settings/outcomes, is dogshit advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:54 PM
6

I said being able to interact socially with women has nothing to do with looks. Most incels are completely average looking anyway. They aren't some 400 pound ogre with mantits who smells like Cheetos and hasn't been able to properly wipe his ass since the Obama administration. Being able to interact socially with women is a precursor to drawing interest. Women don't just decide they want to fuck, relationship, or marry a guy based off how he looks...and in the spaces where that kind of thing can…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:50 PM
1

Biologically, there are more young men than women, so with simple math of a 48/52 population split between women and men in their 20s, assuming a strong general preference towards monogamy, and assuming equal rates of homosexuality and polyamory in the population, ~8% of men literally won't have a woman existing to offset their own existence and be a potential match. Also men who "take what they can get" relinquish any power they'd have to choose their own partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:45 PM
1

You know it takes 2 to tango so it doesn’t make sense to demand purity from women while allowing men to openly lust after women That's radical Islamism for you. Homosexuals get stoned to death, women have no rights and have to cover up, but pedofile clerics can do sick shit like bacha bazi and have 15 wives, and that's fine. Even the "traditional" cultures have their BS, they just weaponize it to keep other men down so the ones in power can break the very rules they hold others to.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:43 PM
2

The irony is that these dudes' low standards don't actually help women either. The men with low standards fuck things up for everyone. They simp for women, which normalizes that societally - even though it's not what women want (which can be confusing for "average men") They also annoy the shit out of all women because they spray desperation everywhere, which makes women much more wary of - and hostile to - interactions with all stranger men. There are ways past this for the socially adept, but …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:40 PM
1

100% this. BP also completely overlooks flirting, mannerisms, and fun as important factors in attraction. We live in a world where we are naturally suspicious of strangers because they usually want something, or may be dangerous in a world where we often no longer lock up violent criminals. Just being nice was never enough. That used to be circumvented through arranged marriages or close knit friend groups where people were pre-selected (though even that didn't eliminate abuse). Now that people …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:31 PM
10

It's really all about how it's framed. It's only online that this narrative of everyone knowing your body count is a thing. Most people just move through the world in relative silence and only their friends know what's up. Fun, flirty people tend to do well and get more attention in the marketplace. No one is being shamed for that. Women still get shamed for being seen as "easy," and guys get shamed for being pushy, desperate, or tryhards...but not for being easy, charismatic flirts who do well …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:10 PM
2

Lots of things are expensive. But that's still about desired lifestyle. There's a bar that has to be met - and for most middle class women, that bar is middle class. Marrying up is often overrated anyway, if it comes with baggage like having to put with heirs, relatives looking down or weaponizing money to control people, etc. And even middle class people aren't immune from that, which is often why you date someone. Someone with a toxic family who won't stand up to their family can and should be…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 06:05 PM
3

It's really not that hard. Just go hang out and do things that appeal to both sexes, eventually there will be women there, hang out with them, and don't make it weird. Has nothing to do with looks. Go volunteer at a museum where mostly women work, where the work the museum does is interesting to you. Then just talk to them like normal people without hitting on them at first sight, be around when people start to make plans, and eventually you'll get invited too. Then just go out and have a good t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 05:56 PM
2

Even better when they continue to cite that old ass 15 year old OKcupid survey with terrible design that didn't even score responses correctly as some sort of incontrovertible "proof" of 20/80 or whatever other BS they're on about.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:12 AM
1

Money was defining back when women didn't have choice, sure, but it hasn't been relevant in the West for over 50 years. It exists as a dealbreaker only if someone's lifestyle potential simply doesn't measure up to what the prospective partner desireis. It does not - and has never - inspired actual attraction, and in fact attraction can supersede lack of money quite easily for short-term or if someone is willing to take that on for the right person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:11 AM
1

The men working to improve themselves are working on the wrong things. If you're already fit, going to the gym doesn't help you. If you're already nonexpressive and bad at body language, trying to become a hyper-scowling caricature of masculinity isn't going to help you. If you're already the class clown, and struggle to identify, hold, and ultimately release sexual tension in healthy ways, getting funnier isn't going to help you. If you have a decent face, but don't meet a lot of women, plastic…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:08 AM
–

This, very true. To add onto that: Also, you don't control who you meet and when...there are lots of good partners out there, and you might meet one early and not be ready for something serious, or fumble, or get pulled apart because of education, geography, or early career jobs. So much of dating/relationships is timing. But generally, attractive people are able to have good options and maintain high standards so they're not wasting time dating undesirables, which also makes it more likely they…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:03 AM
3

Everyone goes through failure. How you respond to failure demonstrates character. Most of them aren't doing much to meet women IRL, aren't cultivating social circles, haven't learned how to flirt, and almost exclusively resort to online dating... ...while they spend months consuming manosphere content. Those are choices that demonstrate character (or lack thereof). In any case, it's abundantly clear that in many cases, looks are not the culprit.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:05 PM
1

Yes. Although the implications of an infertile (read: not sterile) man would be far less significant, as less expensive treatments such as IUI are clinically indicated for male factor infertility that isn't severe, so it isn't as likely to be as much of a dealbreaker...but should still be disclosed and doubly so if it's severe and would require the more expensive interventions. And again, most heterosexual men won't know they're infertile until they try to conceive and nothing happens so both pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 03:01 PM
1

If they know they are infertile and they don't disclose that to a partner, yes. However, most infertile women don't know they are infertile until they try to conceive and nothing happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:44 PM
6

For sure. I mean, if someone can't even sustain friendships, that's usually a pretty good tell that they aren't good company. And if they don't know how to flirt, that's a double whammy. Interesting thing is most incels, when they post pics of themselves, are just average looking. They'd do fine if they had a better personality (read: "fun" not "nice") and could flirt, but they get so hung up on jaw lines, looks, and analyzing women to a degree that couldn't possibly be fun that they become tota…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:30 PM
9

Exactly. I say this all the time, it's video game mindset. They're looking for the "up down up down AB AB left right C" of women. It doesn't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:05 PM
3

...and that's just as sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 02:00 PM
4

No, because fictional characters don't handle situations. They're one dimensional characters written to advance a plot. I literally don't care about fictional characters beyond whatever entertainment they provide; they're not real.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:20 AM
0

That's just weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:13 AM
3

Disagree. Fictional characters are a desperate, incomplete, last resort of dudes who've failed to identify any IRL male role models. Most people will find a bad IRL role model - an Andrew Tate, or someone else like that - before they look up to a fictional character.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:08 AM
7

The problem isn't the absence of male role models. The problem is the divergence between families with positive male role models and families without one, and that society increasingly glorifies men who exemplify all the wrong attributes. Rappers, celebrities, shock influencers and pranksters, street fights, incels, manospherians, pedofile politicians (both parties - I'm an equal opportunity hater of political scum), etc. While there are MANY positive role models in society - including some infl…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:59 AM
3

It's not that they're demisexual, they just don't know how to nurture attraction, build tension, and ultimately release tension because they lack social cues, nonverbal communication skills, and social skills. Also, overly analytical communication styles do not leave room for feelings to develop unless someone is deeply sapiosexual, but then there also has to be a curiosity for new knowledge present that many autists either lack or struggle to convey in ordinary conversation. Hookup culture is u…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:12 AM
1

Hard disagree on this. So you think they should just lie to their partners, lead them on when their partners want biological kids with their partners and - surprise! - time for you to pay up for IVF, egg donors, and a surrogate! This is sick.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:09 AM
–

Disagree. Everyone is a work in progress. Believing in someone's potential is not a literal thing you say to someone. It's as simple as a thoughtful comment when they say they want to try something that "Oh, that's awesome - you'd probably be great at that in no time because you're a quick learner and you've already good at [XYZ foundational skills]" It's not as heavy a conversation as you're making it out to be. Big difference between that kind of energy and the kind of guy saying shit like "wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 05:06 PM
–

As a guy, this is valid. When I've given women compliments, I usually go for something specific, or something hypothetical that demonstrates I believe in her potential. Much better, and they're genuine. "Beautiful" is about as lazy, generic, and low effort as it gets. I also found that when I was dating, being upfront about looking to meet people and see where it goes while being open to long term if there was a connection worked. Most marriage-minded men feel that way, and you just establish op…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 04:52 PM
5

Well, yeah, someone who tries more things is going to be more interesting to women since they'll naturally have more things to talk about, more experiences to share, and more opportunities to meet them by trying things. Someone who only has one hobby is going to be one-dimensional, and if that one hobby is predominantly male and they don't have anything else going on, they're cooked on personality most likely unless they're attractive and extremely open minded and socially gifted.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 01:54 PM
3

I mean, there are a lot of contradictions in pill spaces, but the majority of the men here are outliers so it doesn't make sense to extrapolate their behaviors to the general population. And yes, incels (not men) are full of contradictions which is why they struggle to get any results romantically/sexually. The only IRL incel I know is a friend from HS. He was the first among us to have a long-term GF (in college, they were together two years), whereas mine were always short lived to that point.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 01:35 PM
2

Let's look at this in a middle school context, since that is when it starts: I don't think women complain about it in dating, but there is such a thing as a guy being too passive, which often comes off as nonchalance. "Quotes" are used for any term used ironically, to reframe pill narratives around male archetypes as they are commonly used, not because I necessarily ascribe to thinking of people that way. Never mind the BS in how boys socialize with other boys, that guys who spend more time with…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 01:20 PM
6

If I say “men do X,” the response is “not all men.” If I say “some men” or “many men,” then I’m accused of secretly meaning “all men” anyway. It starts to feel like unless I name specific individuals, I’m not allowed to talk about patterns at all, and if i do, then it's anecdotal, and no point in talking about specific men. Which makes any kind of discussion about behavior basically impossible. Because such narratives are collectivist in nature and serve no meaningful basis for analysis. The "me…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:55 PM
–

Women do not "give" men sex, FFS it's not a cookie the teacher doles at 2:59pm for being a good boy in class all day. Sex is something that occurs naturally when non-asexual people get together, flirt, enjoy each other, and give into wanting with each other. It is not a reward system. Men who autistically condition themselves to view sex as a reward will inherently waste time and energy doing things while not setting the proper mood, leading themselves on to a lifetime of frustration and impoten…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 12:38 PM
13

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/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 11:14 PM
1

Because the men who say shit like that have such a warped understanding of humanity they actually think that shit like chatgpt and character dot ai actually mimics humans when all it is, is ai sycophancy with a tailored "picture" added to the text.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:38 PM
0

LOL the lengths to which posters will go to defend "gamers." "Politics" cannot be easily measured by arguments that break things down into binary "leftist vs rightist" narratives. Most people don't care all that much about politics and care more what someone thinks about individual voters. A liberal woman will date a conservative man who supports her right to choose. A conservative woman will date a liberal man as long as he supports controlling migration and penalizing criminals, particuarly vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 04:36 PM
3

Its not that difficult. Spend time with women, have fun, and nurture the sexual undertones when you first meet. If there are no undertones or it isn't fun, then get out. Over time, discover whether you want similar lifestyles. If not, break up and start over. You're not gonna get anywhere if either person is autistically comparing the other to a spreadsheet.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 12:55 PM
2

Nothing triggers incel rage on this sub more than "stop wasting time on video games, learn how to socialize, build a social circle, and learn how to banter/flirt" These guys bitch about not getting to hook up, then proceed to treat bars, clubs, parties, drinking, dancing, karaoke, and spending time with women like kryptonite
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 12:44 PM
1

There is too much violence in the world for "men" to help everyone. If they were ever in danger, I'd kill for my wife and daughter to keep them safe. But I'm also not going to risk my own safety - when they need me to come home - to "protect" strangers. I'll help others if it doesn't risk my safety though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:18 PM
2

I always use the "subway train ride through the bad neighborhood" analogy here. When you're on the train in a major Western city (think NYC, Chicago, etc.), you'll notice the increased antisocial behavior in the bad neighborhoods - someone playing loud music, aggressively panhandling, two people almost (or actually) getting into a fight, that one deranged dude mumbling to himself and pacing... It's natural to conclude that the whole neighborhood itself is unsafe. Yet, lost in that, is that the m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 06:30 PM
4

This sub is certainly not representative of men. I'm only here to help dispel BS manosphere narratives (as a few others are, too) because this gender war nonsense hurts Western societies. IRL there are a lot more men who think like I do than think like these guys do. Hell, growing up in our 20s, "wife material" was very much a thing for guys...with the understanding that if you were with someone like that, you locked it down. Wife material = the total package. Nobody whose girlfriend was "wife m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 06:12 PM
5

Incels are not representative of "men." Attractive / reasonably attractive men already understand this. Everyone knows that if men were to be objectified, it's going to be overweight or chopped women hitting on them, not gorgeous cheerleaders, college co-eds, Instagram models, former college athletes, etc. Attractive people don't have to desperately bother strangers for attention, so they often don't. The incels who dream of being objectified dream that "Stacy" is going to be doing it. No, that'…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 05:58 PM
6

Also, men still need those exciting traits to attract women for a LTR. A man struggling with that is going to struggle finding a woman to sleep with him even in a relationship. Extremely true. A lot of the dudes here simply do not understand this simple truth: You need to be her boyfriend before you can be her husband. The guys who try to skip the boyfriend part are always the ones who end up in dead bedrooms.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 05:42 PM
7

Someone who wants to be with a different woman every week is likely inexperienced. Once you've dated or been around enough to know your own preferences...and you find a hot, fun, woman who's good to be around and actually likes you / wants to fuck you / wants what you want out of life, you really don't want that level of variety anymore because odds are the variety you get will be worse most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 05:36 PM
3

The problem with this is that it isn't all the attractive men doing this. Lots of unattractive and asocial people end up with partners. Read stories about women who "gave the nice guy a chance" - some of those are way more abusive. If you get your understanding of the world from online, don't be surprised when you read mostly unhappy stories - because happy people aren't spewing posts all over the Internet about how perfect everything is, and they aren't becoming influencers by posting 3x a day …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 05:20 PM
0

You communicate about these things beforehand, establish that it's important to both of you, and then it won't be a problem. You don't coast through life. "Yeah, after we have kids, I'm not really gonna wanna fuck you anymore. We're probably done." -pretty much no woman ever who's actually attracted to her husband. You do realize many seniors are still having active sex lives, right? You don't just stop wanting it because you had kids. Dead bedrooms are very much the exception.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 12:25 PM
1

Congrats on being in the top 5%! But no, most people on-average are having sex about once a week. The second largest stat after that is once a month. In fact, about 30% of couples on-average are having sex once a month or less, so that's almost 1 out of every 3 couples. Are you adjusting for age? Lots of married couples in their 60s and 70s who I'd imagine bring that average way down. As to your last point, yes, sex goes down when you have kids. But a lot of that isn't about "desire" it's about …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:48 AM
5

Because women cannot model to men to be better men, and there is a crisis of good men right now because there is a fatherhood crisis. Lots of Dads are getting it right, and their kids are off doing things and not bitching to the Internet about not being able to attract women / "good men" while spending 15 hours a day staring at screens. Kids often follow what is modeled (so if their parents are bad role models they need other role models), not what they are "taught"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:40 AM
5

This is generally true for both men and women. You don't need a set amount of experiences, but the right amount, and enough breadth of experience around people to know what you do and don't like, and what you can/will and can't/won't tolerate. For most people, this will involve dating a bunch of people, a few serious LTRs, maybe some casual flings in between, and that's enough. It doesn't mean everyone needs to rack up a specific "body count" or have a set number of relationships before deciding…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 09:15 PM
0

Can't relate, but that's not really true in my experience. Most couples with kids still have sex. Most people that have genuine attraction fuck like rabbits in the beginning and then eventually it slows down a little as you see each other more often, but you're still having sex multiple times a week. That's been my experience, but I never really dated low libido types. That said, living together is a great way to screen for this, since for most people that's when the amount of sex drops, but not…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 08:16 PM
2

Even with people who are actively sexual, it doesn't always have to lead somewhere. It really depends. There's also a big difference between me draping my leg over my wife's on the couch, or playfully squeezing her butt when I walk past her, and her fondling my crotch or me playing with her breasts. One says snuggles, the other suggests sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:27 PM
2

Sounds like those people are just asexual then. However, one does not require the other. You can still have an active, healthy, fun, raunchy sex life and still make time for snuggling without it necessarily needing to lead to sex every time. Physical touch as a love language may correlate with libido, but libido and physical touch as a love language are essentially two different things. People should aim to be matched on both, IMO, among other things.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:25 PM
–

People don't say this because it's un-noble. They say this because it pedestalizes women and turns confidence into external validation, which is exactly the mindset that causes lack of confident/self-esteem issues, and unattractive levels of desperation, which are like repellent to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:22 PM
6

Women do love physical touch. Pretty much every woman I've been with has absolutely adored it. There's a difference between "physical touch" and "sex" however. Don't get me wrong - sex is great, but sometimes you're both tired, or you've gone 2-3 rounds already and you still want touch. Physical touch is about everything from holding hands, to snuggling on the couch, to spooning each other, to backrubs, foot massages, bellyrubs, neckrubs, nuzzling, guiding her by the small of her back when you'r…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 05:03 PM
3

Add shared life goals to this, and it's pretty accurate. Successful LTRs/marriages require 4 things: Mutual attraction Mutual enjoyment of personality/friendship Mutual shared goals for way of life and future way of life Trust/safety (can be classed as "minimal drama") There is no such thing as no drama. You are going to have disagreement, arguments, and points of conflict with anyone you live in close proximity to, even roommates. What matters in a gf/wife is how the two of you push past that -…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:33 PM
2

It really doesn't matter all that much, unless she's a gold digger (which is a minority of women). Project thots and trailer parks need not apply. Always dated UMC and middle class women. Never had issues around paying on dates (or splitting). Women would almost always offer to pay for things naturally without me prodding, whether it was splitting or taking turns.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:31 PM
1

It's not American at all. It's a gamer thing, and an ND (classify, sort, reorder) thing. The gamers think life is create-a-player mode and if you get certain stats you can get your "looksmatch" who also has similar stats. The NDs need to have that rigid understanding of the world and then invariably end up trying to compare and contrast men to women to see if they can unlock a rigid repeatable formula for what works with "women" while ignoring individuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 04:03 PM
2

The thing that's weird is the same people who make arguments like that "the sex was bad so he left her" also argue that experienced women should "teach" virgins. I have my own views on the topic which are quite different from OP, but in general I think "using" somebody for sex is generally when they don't experience pleasure but you do, which is shitty in general. If they both consented and orgasmed, nobody was used, regardless of what happens (or doesn't) the next day.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 03:22 PM
–

It's proven by the fact cold approaching is always one of the least cited reasons for couples partnering. Yes, I do know better than someone who is literally complaining because they aren't getting what they want. "Cold Approaching" isn't a social skill. It's just a lazy low effort solution peddled to struggling men - that doesn't carry much of a perceived cost to try - by people who are selling something. And then when socially awkward guys try it and suck at it, here come the grifters with the…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 11:03 PM
2

Okay, well those can continue to not get results and stay frustrated then. The difference between me and you is that I'm giving that something that has better likelihood to work, and you're selling them on convenience and luck while affirming whatever they think, which, let's be real, if their intuition was that good, they wouldn't be struggling so hard. 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 08:32 PM
2

Because it is readily available: Nobody pretends that being nice compensates for not being attractive. Even the very worst form of bluepilled advice from mothers and grandmothers says to unattractive asocial men "be kind to women, and get a nice job, and someday you'll meet a nice girl who'll appreciate you". At no point in that (still horrendous) advice, did they say some beautiful, popular, badass, confident, athletic, creative, socially skilled, motivated woman will choose him. Anyone can loo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 03:14 PM
1

"It only takes 30 seconds to pay for a QuickPick and probably lose money, so that's more productive than setting up a whole ass E-Trade account, connecting it to my bank, and trying to figure out which index fund to buy"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 01:51 PM
4

Which is why they're undateable. That's pathetic. Who wants to marry that? Who wants to have kids with that? What if she gets sick? "Oh, my husband isn't going to get pussy if I drop dead, so I'm totally cool with the fact he'll be a fat lazy slob who won't parent our kids, and will probably leave them orphaned after he gorges on video games and fast food, loses the house, and dies young, because I wasn't there to give him pussy" - what woman is going to say that? These are basic hallmarks of ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 01:23 PM
2

This is a stupid argument. Poor people are the people who can least afford to play the lottery; they should learn basic budgeting and investment skills first, as that will deliver better results. Likewise, incels who can't get dates should avoid cold approaching and instead focus on improvement (including in the social realm) coupled with higher probability methods of success. You are telling poor people to buy lottery tickets. The grifters are doing the same thing. And profiting from it. While …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 01:20 PM
2

Because grifters on the internet tell them to. And just like lottery tickets, once in a blue moon it works for somebody. Lots of people play the Lottery, too, even though it's a tax on stupid people by the state and the expected payouts are negative.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:08 AM
5

Therapy often fails for men because like male friendships tend to be rooted around activities, male corrective measures need to be rooted around improvement, not introspection. The introspection can accompany that improvement, but the improvement must come first or simultaneous to the introspection. It's a major difference that affects how most men are socialized to interact in the world, and if you want to reach them, it has to be in that manner. The problem is, you can only help those who want…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 10:02 AM
2

Asking a woman about her body count and sperging insecurity and FOMO isn't a dating strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 09:50 AM
3

You determine your worth as a human being, not the dating market. So if you see yourself as "worthless", that's a you problem. True confidence comes from internal awareness rooted in objective reality. It does not come from others. External validation is temporary anyway, why would you choose to rely on it?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:29 AM
1

...and then they think they can turn that off when they meet women. It always comes out sooner or later. You can't have that level of self-loathing and be "confident" and confidence absolutely matters. Naturally blackpillers dismiss it as halo effect even though unconfident guys with looks struggle too.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:26 AM
5

People assume that the attitudes expressed here are what guys are bringing with them onto dates. It's so stupid. They certainly are if young women are increasingly reporting getting asked about their body counts, exes, or things they did with exes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:24 AM
4

It means not using condoms, presumably.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:23 AM
4

There is a massive difference between "women generally prefer more attractive men" and "if you're not naturally 6'4 with a square jawline, ripped abs that just happened, perfect genetics (which of course also includes social skills), you're cooked bro" There's also a difference between things mattering and being deterministic, but the socially inept men who are gravitating towards today's redpill don't understand that. They're looking for video game cheat codes, mathematical formulas, and spread…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 07:18 AM
4

Reminder: incels often don't see themselves as "masculine", or very good at being "masculine" so they often assume that's the differentiator. If they're ND, they also struggle with labels. That's why there's such an obsession in incel spaces with being "dominant" "masculine" "status" etc. These are all just labels they put on normal human behaviors that they struggle with because they are often pushovers in person with unhealed childhood traumas, and have deep seated insecurities about their bod…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 05:10 AM
1

i’m not sure if we’ll ever see a return back to the market favoring in person experiences as heavily. Socialization is dropping . With homeschooling on the rise, remote schooling on the rise, remote jobs, work from home jobs, food delivery, curbside etc. I do think online dating will increase, but dating apps will get better. People in society will become more isolated just by default. They would have to specifically and purposely create and seek in person experiences. As that won’t be the path …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 04:59 AM
4

A cold approach signals desperation. Approaching a total stranger, with nothing in common, to give them some generic compliment and ask them for a date or phone number is just cringe. If you're doing something that's vaguely social, or you have something nonsexual to talk about to initiate a conversation, maybe some women will be open to it. But telling a woman she's beautiful, like she hasn't heard that a million times and knows it to mean "I'd have sex with you" and then asking for a number or…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 04:46 AM
1

The thing these people (incels and femcels) don't get is that popular people are popular because they are charismatic. The popular ones are usually not making fun of the unpopular ones, outside of movies. They're usually just hanging out with other popular people. It's usually the insecure, middle-tier kids who have some extroversion capable traits and desperately want to "impress" the popular ones who turn to cruelty to ingratiate themselves. And sometimes the popular people will laugh to be ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 05:58 PM
4

Based on the following: Is she physically attracted to him? Does he take the initiative and clearly communicate his intentions/feelings for her? Is he too agreeable, or does he stand up for himself and disagree with her, indicating a greater deal of transparency/truthfulness? How does he treat those who he doesn't want anything from, who don't matter? His doorman, service workers, security guards at his work, strangers? What are his friends like? If they aren't always great, does he acknowledge …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 05:46 PM
4

My answer is going to be a bit more complex. In the US, I agree with you that singleness rates will rise, but the rate of increase will slow. There will be more dating eventually, in time, as the market adjusts to favor in-person experiences again over digital/screen connection. Dating will be more about presence than about performative "impressing" the other person, and with it will die expectations of large financial investment in early dates (largely due to economics). Early sex will be less …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 04:40 PM
1

Agreed - "Liberal" has become so overused that it ceased to mean anything. Depending on who you ask, it ranges from "leftist" to libertarian (which is generally considered a more conservative position), which is why I don't really like using it (and put it in quotes, as colloquially it means anyone slightly left-leaning, which also isn't a useful distinction as people in that camp have a wide range of views on different topics). However, DSA is a specific political organization with memberships …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 03:44 PM
3

This honestly reads more as you pedestalize women rather than anything resembling feminist beliefs. As somebody who supports women's rights and equality but doesn't self-name as a feminist because of some of the things that fall under the broader umbrella of feminism that either actively harm men or push harmful political ideologies, by your own argument, I'd be a better "feminist" than you would. Also, a lot of the "provide and protect" narrative of men isn't rooted in real action. If someone t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 03:39 PM
1

You've proven nothing. Every attemp to claim "status" is just slapping that label on separate behaviors and skills. Y'all talk about status here daily, and y'all can't even agree on a meaning. You're claiming social skills are status, another guy is claiming visibilty is, others daily argue it's money, homeownership, or career...and most of you are spending more time thinking about other men than about women. It's a made up construct ND's use to try and simplify understanding the world. It doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 11:59 AM
1

No, visibility is visibility. Now you're just making shit up.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 11:54 AM
1

Democratic socialists of America (aka far leftists) Women of Child Bearing Potential (medical term)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:36 PM
4

lib women *leftist Most women despise rapists, don't want illegal aliens in the country, and want sex offenders harshly punished. It's only the DSA wackjobs destroying the country who seem to be pushing this pro-criminal agenda. Problem is, most view abortion as an important right for young women (or themselves if they are still WOCBP), so unless conservatives moderate on abortion, they aren't really going to listen to anything they have to say on the other policies, and will hold their nose for…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 01:51 PM
3

Because men are not taught how to be men when they are boys. They are alternatingly mollycoddled by some mothers, and there is a dearth of positive male role models especially in a world where so many children are born to single mothers, which becomes a vicious cycle. Part of becoming a man is taking agency over your life, not caring what others think, and ultimately pursuing and obtaining what you want, and putting in the work necessary to get it where you fall short. To learn from mistakes. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 01:44 PM
5

The point is that shy awkward weirdos of either gender are unattractive, and the shy awkward men claiming that shy awkward women have it better come off delusional and pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 12:38 PM
1

All these mental gymnastics to justify rigid hierarchical thinking. Within a group, women pursue who they are attracted to and connect with. The only ones bleating about dominance and hierarchy are weird insecure nerds. Yes, women don't go for losers with no friends. That's not "status" that's social skill. Within any social group, 1-2 people will take on more of a leadership role naturally...they are no more or less likely to pull than anyone else in the group. This is pretty much understood am…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 12:36 PM
1

That's visibility, not status. People notice the performer because...they're the performer. They know the venue owner because the owner makes rounds or they interact with him to get in...if he sits in the back office putting receipts into quickbooks noone cares. Hell, bartenders and security - far from status-y positions - get noticed as well. You people are really grasping at straws here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 12:32 PM
1

Wtf do femboys have to do with anything? Dudes who like to present as women are gonna be weird AF to women. Controversial, I know, but hetero women want the men they like to present as, well, men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 02:12 AM
9

Now do socially awkward and socially inept men. Why should hot women who like socializing and prefer to have fun "give them a chance" just because he claims to be "safe" and "loyal" when he has no relationship history and no options to back up either of those claims?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 01:49 AM
12

Most people like to have fun before being "emotionally vulnerable". A lot of 'nice guys' miss that. If she can't have fun w/you, why even bother? The "deeper connection" isn't worth investigating if the cursory stuff isn't there and you're asking for emotional work for her to be vulnerable herself and manage a guy's emotions who she isn't enjoying spending time with. Stop making initial interactions so heavy/serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 01:40 AM
1

The thing that's hilarious is how they think women in the west are more masculine. I've been called masculine when I debate online by total idiots because I am "argumentative" (aka they're stupid on the same frequency as flat earthers so of course I'm not gonna accept that and push back) with them but anyone who knew me irl knows I'm the softest spoken, girly, on average non-confrontational person ever. In fact most of my family, friends, colleagues are on average smarter and more competent than…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 10:12 PM
2

None of that is status, that's social skills. Besides, we both know what men here often mean when they status is "older, has his own place, has money" because they fight like hell resisting any instructions or advice to improve socially with the fire of a thousand suns, mysteriously citing levels of neurodivergence that are so severe as to be crippling in all aspects of life despite the statistical improability of all those people gathering in one subreddit on one site yet somehow purport to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 10:05 PM
4

None of that has to do with "status." That's an artificial construct. It sounds like people just enjoyed socializing with you, and if you ran in promiscuous circles then women who had a good experience will sometimes share that with friends if they're not actively pursuing things with him, which will make other promiscuous girls curious or want to try it for themselves. That's not "status" that's being good in bed and giving women orgasms. You think some 35 year old virgin software engineer with…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:46 PM
1

Exactly, a joke isn't risky. So what if a joke misses. Laugh at yourself, and keep the conversation moving. "No? No? Well, alrighty then" and onto the next thing. These guys make talking to women, making a joke - all these basic aspects of human interaction - sound like they require summoning the courage to try out the flying trapeze or skydiving or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:14 PM
6

Yes, they are. BUT, let's look at the causes: You have a bunch of non-Western cultures pushing outdated, fake, performative versions of masculinity on men, thanks to the globalism provided by the Internet. Being masculine is about deciding who you are, making your own decisions, and being confident about it. Little boys seek approval and consensus before acting. Grown men do not. Little boys whine about not getting their way. Grown men figure out what it takes to get what they want (legally) and…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:32 PM
11

This has nothing to do with economics or community. This is about basic interactions between two people. This is learning how to read body language, and possessing the ability to fucking Google something if it still doesn't make sense. Go to Google and type (without quotes): "woman repeatedly answers that she wants to make plans later but doesn't know when she's free is she interested" and tell me what comes up?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:21 PM
1

Exactly. Looksism is blackpill. Redpill used to be about helping inhibited guys with overbearing learn how to flirt and be fun and social - to "have game." Sure, there were toxic parts, but there was a lot of good advice in there too. Today redpill a bunch of insecure, hamfisted, weirdo, asocial nerds bitching about their looks, their height, their dick sizes, and engaging in starry-eye male fantasies about becoming Chad because it's more about the validation of other men than it is actually get…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:16 PM
3

This is just "losers," not "men." A lot of men aren't like this in the West. A lot of these guys are foreign, or Western incels. Most of the good men who aren't like this, unless they're trying to help younger people figure out life, aren't going to posting on the internet all the time. They're bitching because in the West, their high control culture shit and slut shaming doesn't fly, and rather than fix all their insecurities and actually be decent to be around, they'd rather try and shame wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:14 PM
12

This is a ridiculous point on its face. If they possess even basic Google, they'd know that this is classic noninterest. "If they wanted to, they would." There is no excuse for someone to go through 20, 25, 30, 40 years of life and not figure this out. This is expecting society to hold his hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 02:03 PM
5

Status isn't relevant to how he makes her feel. There are plenty of men that don't engage in the typical "competition with other men" behavior in their teens and 20s who generate plenty of attraction in women. And there are plenty of men in their 20s who aren't the leader of their social circle, who aren't 6'3", who aren't junior executives, CEOs or managers, and who aren't inherited millionaires doing just fine with women because they're fun, reasonably attractive, put themselves in situations …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 01:43 PM
7

Women do not care about these things. They care about a guy's trajectory inasmuch as it is complementary to her own lifestyle goals if she is considering him long term. Is he attractive to her? AKA will she enjoy sex with him, does she enjoy the thought of him kissing her or touching her? Are his mannerisms attractive? Is his voice attractive to her? Does he smell nice? Does she enjoy his personality outside of the bedroom? AKA can they go on dates and ultimately live together, can they enjoy ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 01:33 PM
2

Because they're insecure losers who know they're settling for Temu girlfriends, and they'd rather chain migrate a bunch of a woman's weird family members and their weird third world cultures and attitudes rather than admit a very uncomfortable truth: that money doesn't pull anymore, that they don't have that much of it, and so they need to arbitrage the value of their first world country's currency to try and fix that, desperately convincing themselves and the wider Internet that it's some great…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 01:18 PM
24

Nobody talks about "status" as much as the nerds trying to analyze the shit out of every basic human interaction. I've literally never heard a woman even cite "status" as reason for preferring a guy...not even secondhand. 99% of the time it's about how he makes her feel. Jesters/class clowns don't pull because they don't know when to get serious. Hard to build up (or hold onto) sexual tension that needs release when you're constantly using humor to relieve the tension instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:22 AM
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Same.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:20 PM
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He also needs to eat lots of carbs, or else his workouts will burn the protein to make his energy (rather than building muscle), and he won't see the same results as if he goes heavy on both.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:18 PM
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Are you also eating 2500-3000 calories a day of primarily protein and carbs?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 10:03 PM
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See the top comment. He has the body type of a 14 year old boy. OP needs to get in the gym and start eating a 2500-3000 calorie a day diet with protein and carbs in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 09:59 PM
4

The friendzone is an awkward place that (usually) a man forces an unattracted woman to put him when he's polite enough that harshly rejecting him would be seen as unnecessarily cruel, but when she needs to exercise her agency and doesn't want to date him...and he either refuses to accept that (and duplicitously reframes himself as her "friend") or when he lacks the spine to make a move so she puts him there as a default. Men 100% have the ability to avoid it, by exercising agency. You're well wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 09:04 PM
3

Everything in this line of discussion is straight facts. It's also why I stay purple pilled. There are elements of bluepill and OG redpill that are spot on. These nerds calling themselves "nu-redpill" today are just anxious, insecure weirdos who are simultaneously afraid to make a move and angry that those who do get better results than them. They also spend far more time analyzing men than women, which is just fucking weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 08:57 PM
3

I don't know why this point goes over so many guys' heads here. You build a rapport. You become acquaintances. You DON'T become her bestie. You DON'T hang out with her one on one without it being a date. You just do the activity, get to know each other, gradually introduce banter/flirting while maintaining plausible deniability, and if she reciprocates, you ask her out. You don't invest months into friendship, hang out one on one, then try to switch up way later. ...And you certainly don't show …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 08:54 PM
3

Some of us do sympathize with women on the issue of harrassment and sexual assault. Hell, some of us* celebrate the alternative uses of woodchippers, when sex abusers and/or pedofiles in prison get Epstein'd and nobody knows anything, or when victims or their loved ones avenge them. You'd think incels who are constantly complaining about "criminals" getting women would also do same rather than trying to justify it...after all, more sex offenders disappearing means less competition for the incel,…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:41 PM
3

Same, other than the "making more than every person I've ever dated" part since I improved in job/career in my 20s and was never really swimming in it before that. People who aren't interested, who just want an ATM, will absolutely reach out and ask for stuff early on, but they're easy to separate from people you're actually seriously dating. This used to be the common trope of women asking guys to buy them drinks at the bar...they just weren't interested. Easy way to reply to something like tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 05:27 PM
1

It's directly responding to this: If the claim is many men arnt super interesting then yes I agree. Therefore, if you "agree" then it follows why those men would be terrible partners for most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:32 PM
1

No. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:31 PM
3

Because someone who isn't interesting is boring. Why would you sign up to date someone boring if you have interests and hobbies of your own? Why would a woman sign up to date someone, if part of the appeal of being in a relationship is being able to do things as a couple, and the guy doesn't want to do anything except stay in and play video games? Or if him "being nice" is just him holding his nose and going along with it, while never suggesting plans of his own? That makes him a sycophant tradi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:24 PM
4

This. Also cultural expectations (and even subcultural expectations) are absolutely huge in dating. Most people say they want to date someone rich, but someone whose life is an endless array of performative and opulent social gatherings would likely be exhausting for someone to date who isn't into putting on airs. Same goes for major lifestyle incompatibilities like different religions if people are devout. The expectations of extended family can be toxic AF in those arenas, and a lot of people …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:17 PM
2

The average 20 something is not overweight. It's probably 1 in 5 or so. Obesity is mostly a middle aged and older problem. Most people start packing on their pounds in their late 20s or early 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 01:11 PM
6

A lot of men also aren't good company or particularly fun. I mean, why would women want to be in a relationship with a guy who fundamentally doesn't like going on dates with her? Dates are just spending time together and doing things out in the world. Going to a concert with her is a date. Eating dinner with her is a date. They think autistically asking her to describe her relationships with her exes and immediately demanding the same sexual treatment is sexy and fun. It's not. And not to mentio…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:26 AM
4

Because money does not make a woman sexually aroused. It's a disingenuous form of using someone. No shortage of idiots still trying to use "money" trying to get women, however, and in the West, where women are overwhelmingly saying no to that lame deal (except for gold diggers, who, let's be real, are at best temporary girlfriends for such paypig simp idiots), these guys just can't seem to figure out that being unattractive physically and personality-wise is just a losing combo and why do they k…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:13 AM
9

Yup this. And I can't understand why so many of these "struggling" guys refuse to understand this. Oh, wait...it's because they've usually never been in relationships, and they don't understand that women can be toxic too. And can be hot. And that eventually "hot" stops being worth all the BS. They also invariable seem think pressuring women to want to be in relationships is a good strategy. No, that's high pressure nagging, and it's not fun. And if you're not fun to be around, so she doesn't en…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 11:08 AM
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It actually makes perfect sense, but it clearly went over your head, and you don't have an argument against it. Noted.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 07:25 PM
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This narrative of men as "resource providers" is BS. Buying a woman a dinner on a date when you both work isn't being a "resource provider" and women aren't choosing men for those reasons. It's an inability to accept this reality that's causing below average men who view themselves as "resource providers" who are, at best, Temu resource providers, that's causing certain men to fall further and further behind, particularly as women gain more income through advancements in the workforce.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 07:24 PM
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So then by that logic, the US should stop allowing single men to immigrate...especially illegally...and should deport them in greater numbers, seeing as 54% of immigrants are men, which is skewing the numbers even further in the direction they're already trending. Men die younger, so this is a byproduct of the fact more babies are male. And young men in particular, are approximately 3 times more likely to be addicted to video games as young women, which hampers their ability to connect, as well.…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 07:20 PM
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52% of gen Zers are men. 48% are women. If we assume equal rates of homosexuality in both men and women that effectively cancel each other out, you're left with the following: 48/52% of men have a female counterpart. Which means that 4%/52% of men, or a little under 8%, literally don't. This accounts for the bulk of the data in your graph.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 07:16 PM
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None of that refutes anything in my last comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:58 PM
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Most people define single as "not married", not "not in a relationship." Most people in the US marry between 28 and 32, and a significant portion of Gen Z isn't there yet. Women also tend to date slightly older, so the imbalance will be caused by the fact that a 30 year old woman married to a 33 year old man will leave a corresponding 30 year old man single. There's also demographics. Statistically, humanity has evolved to produce more boys, which is offset by higher death rates, and normalizes …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:53 PM
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85% of partnered men also aren't between 5'9" (average) and my height, so that means lots of guys who are "below average" in height are still partnering up anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:39 PM
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Speaking as a 6' tall guy, the majority of men walking around with women in daily life are shorter than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:34 PM
2

You.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:32 PM
4

Why do you think so many average men with zero social life, no girlfriend, no wife, and no sex end up harboring so much resentment, and why does society (including many women) just tell them “take therapy” or call it “playing the victim card” instead of listening? Because those men have sex flaunted in their face more now, and even in cases where it's fictionalized ragebait designed to elicit engagement, come to internalize those narratives. Sex and relationships, as well as a bustling social ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:14 PM
7

What I meant with that comment is that I don't accept the OP's premise that Gen Z influencers represent "dateable women." And I gave the retort that women could easily give to refute him if women accepted that premise. So there was nuance to my point. The point is, I don't really accept either premise, I'm pointing the flaw in the OP thinking he was refuting the poster he replied to's point with his "argument."
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:07 PM
5

Interests yes, behaviors and beliefs no. Male friendships are predominantly formed around shared spaces and interests. The other things absolutely can vary wildly within friend groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:04 PM
2

Time spent with their partner is social time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:54 PM
18

Many of us do like wearing camo... 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:53 PM
12

Careful. If that's your argument, women could easily counter that they're basing their standards on "dateable men*". IJS... \Not my argument, just playing devil's advocate again here.*
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:52 PM
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I'm going to play devil's advocate here. Let's say you believe that to actually be true*. Then that means women, with various preferences, are giving "validation" to single men in that age range. Why aren't you participating in that lifestyle? Unless you're 100 or 400 pounds, a literal midget, disabled, a burn victim, Down syndrome or CP, or otherwise have something VERY busted about your face beyond what the weirdos who don't work in the cosmetic surgery field and use "maxilla" unironically on …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:51 PM
10

"Mothering" is about the expectation some men have that women pamper him like a mother does. Clean up after him, cook him meals, soothe him when he has temper tantrums or gets upset, bring him dinner in his bedroom when he decides he wants to game for 12 hours, and possibly even pay his bills. A man wanting reciprocal emotional support in a heterosexual relationship isn't going to be accused of being a momma's boy or seeking a mother. Femboys (from the one or two I've known IRL) all seem to have…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 04:41 PM
10

Why do you think so many average men with zero social life, no girlfriend, no wife, and no sex end up harboring so much resentment, and why does society (including many women) just tell them “take therapy” or call it “playing the victim card” instead of listening? Because those men have sex flaunted in their face more now, and even in cases where it's fictionalized ragebait designed to elicit engagement, come to internalize those narratives. Sex and relationships, as well as a bustling social ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:45 PM
8

When men try to have a logical debate about any of this (or even say something mildly positive about how life in the 1950s was better for men in some ways), why do so many left-leaning women immediately shut it down with “look at the perverts/rapists” or “my body my choice” instead of engaging with the actual point? Because many of those views are rose-colored fictionalizations of the past based on TV and stereotyped/generalized history. There were tons of incels in the 50s. They just lived at h…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:45 PM
10

In your honest experience, do you believe the dating and sexual marketplace has been noticeably easier for the average woman than for the average man over the last 10–15 years (roughly 2010 to now)? If yes, why? If no, why not? It's easier for women to get dates, less easy for women to convert those dates to good partners. Men and women have different struggles. The imbalance exacerbates these things by causing "demand" (read male attention to women) to spike relative to "supply" (female attenti…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:44 PM
2

Since you're open to answers from guys, I'll chime in. I'll respond to the 5 points in 3 separate comments below this one, since I have a few thoughts on these questions (which do get to the heart of the matter):
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:44 PM
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Because those guys are overwhelmingly doing just fine, and don't need advice. They don't need "strategies" because they already have standards: How they allow themselves to be treated. How much reciprocal effort they expect in dating. "Help, I'm a confident man drowning in dates, but I can never find real connection, and I'm not satisfied with my options" is not really a common complaint by men on the internet. I've only seen it happen a few times, and in all cases, there were clear markers as t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:31 PM
9

This. Also, a lot of being seen as a "bad boy" is just a IDGAF attitude around what others think, actively pursuing things of interest to you, and having self-respect/confidence/some measure assertiveness. When women are looking to date, they're going to date the guys who make moves, who make them feel a certain way. The guys who flirt. The guys who tease them occasionally, but signal interest. Not the wallflower who silently goes home and fantasizes about marrying her, but is too afraid to talk…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:09 PM
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Heavy/serious conversations end up putting pressure on it and forcing people who are just getting to know you to often be vulnerable before they are ready. In addition, if one is talking about exploring attraction, it's inherently NOT going to build that. Hence, that advice is good for "setting a mood" for the date. Most people don't go on dates to feel bad. People who use dates to talk about struggles, serious problems, etc. will often elicit sympathy and/or pity (and those are good responses),…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:48 AM
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The shift I'm describing, the one you kinda keep dancing around, is when you stop applying for jobs and start posting the job listing. That means walking into the date and thinking I don't care if she likes me. I'm figuring out if I like her. We are largely talking about men who don't get dates, in regards to this sub. I've given advice IRL to guys who got plenty of first dates but couldn't get a second - that's far less common (and can have multiple causes). My advice targets what you're ultima…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 05:26 AM
2

The issue, though, is that people ARE doing these things...it just doesn't jive with online narratives spouted mostly by people who are, well, online. I play hockey. We've recruited probably about a dozen or more players into our group in the past 4 months alone, some as part time players, some as full time, and that includes some women. It's put me in touch with people from 18-60, of both genders and even one transgender person, from all walks of life. The best marketing? Word of mouth. People …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 10:06 PM
2

Putting your child in situations where they'll succeed. Reaffirming their abilities, and where their abilities fall short, reaffirming that failure is how we get better, we learn from it and we don't give up, we don't get upset about it, but we do use it as information for the next time, and that's how we learn new things. That's then modeled as well by the parents in their own lives through things like self-monologue, etc. Once social situations are added, it's reinforcing that the internal mon…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 09:15 PM
1

Interesting that you say that. There's a variant of this advice that IS useful, however. "Not a ring not a thing" doesn't mean "wear her down and get her to break up with him" but more so if she wants to spend time with you, just entertain it. It's mostly letting her take the lead. A lot of women, particularly when they're younger, struggle with leaving toxic boyfriends or being single. I always took the approach moreso of "her boyfriend, her problem" and any actions she did with/around me were …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 09:09 PM
6

...And yet the alternative to what's suggested - aka the activities being "replaced" by such productive activities as those you list out - is often sitting at home consuming consumer content like video games, porn, and social media. There are also tons of free events, free concerts, clubs without a cover or a drink minimum, bars where you can nurse one drink all night and have a good time, and classes that pay for themselves in teaching a productive skill that can be monetized. All of these are …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 05:01 PM
1

There's legitimacy in that. Classic redpill was a mix of PUA bullshit and things that actually did work and were rooted in truth other than "be nice and simp for women" (which has always been a little common in pop culture tropes). Now, it's overrun by Islamist fundy-adjacent virgin fetishizing and male self-flagellation that tries to promote purity culture and inhibit freedoms in some sharia law adjacent hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 04:58 PM
3

Same...I tend to write how I speak, at least online, and some things require a sidebar pause only to come back to the main point after. Plus half the people on Reddit commenting about "em dashes" see a horizontal line and assume it's that regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 03:04 PM
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I'm not progressive. First of all, my child isn't going to wind up in that situation, since confidence is something instilled early on, and self-defense is something to introduce as soon as children start socializing, with age appropriate lessons about their right to control who is allowed to touch them, and their right to stand up for themselves - and how - if anyone oversteps that. At the point it becomes bullying, it's well past time to give them an outlet to train self-defense, such as marti…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 12:47 PM
1

???
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:32 AM
1

Plenty of people 30+ at the clubs. Next. Nobody thinks 18-25 year olds finding other 18-25 year olds hot is weird. It's when these weird 40+ guys who are still virgins come on here bleating about wanting 18-25 year olds because they're "pure" and "not jaded" (because 35+ women don't want to sleep with 40+ year old virgins with weird complexes around sex) that they get pushback. That's literally the whole premise of the OP before it got deleted, is to justify old dudes lusting after 18-25 year ol…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 09:11 AM
1

And yet you say this but these "older men" never have those same standards of their own. Curious. They're just guys who wasted their primes who are now trying to relive glory days they never had with money by chasing younger women because the women their age aren't interested in them and still don't find them attractive. You think 30+ year old women aren't capable of having fun?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 02:43 AM
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Disagree. Keeping it chill is what makes you like everyone else. "hey thanks for meeting up tonight, i had a good time, talk soon" No. This is lame and will mute any excitement that women have coming out of the date. This stoic, "chill", non-expressive bullshit is toxic to attraction. It isn't masculine. It's weak. Tons of younger guys do it. It makes you cookie cutter. It might work when you're in high school or maybe even early college, but if you're still doing this at 25? You're shooting you…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 09:45 PM
1

It should match with your natural personality. If you're overdoing it and it seems fake, then yeah. But a lot of guys think standing there stiffly saying things with no facial expression or emotions constitutes communication, and the first example for #5 (lowercase, no emojis) is an example of low thought texting that might be natural in a groupchat full of dudes but is going to signal half-assing it to women, whether he wants to or not. If the emoji use is unnatural, he can take those out, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 09:28 PM
2

Your question would be a lot more likely to get serious engagement if you didn't out yourself as attacking a strawman. It's not the 1980s, we're firmly in the era of "work-life balance matters". So the whole "absentee workaholic dad" trope is completely outdated and something attacked by people who know their beliefs are just as outdated. This is based on the archetype of many of the struggling men here who routinely assert that a man's place is in the workforce "providing" and they'd prefer the…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:58 PM
3

That still doesn't answer who's going to teach the kids to stand up for themselves. Bullying victim Dad who was so insecure from his childhood bullying that he needed a "demure" woman? Or the doormat woman who chose him anyway in spite of his red flags, and goes along with whatever things her weak now-husband proposes, while doing nothing but the housework and childrearing? Because from my POV, all this sounds like all that's accomplished is bringing kids into the world with two terrible role mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:31 PM
6

Spineless behavior is generally unattractive, sure...they do detest it. Men also do this. They glorify "submissive" women, then expect her to do a majority of the housework and childrearing. To the dudes who say this, serious question (since many of them struggle with general assertiveness themselves), that's the woman you want your kids coming home to for advice if/when they get bullied at school? Or do they legitimately think they can step in and play Dad in that moment to a kid they neglected…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 05:01 PM
1

attracting and vetting for your person Because that's going to be deeply personal in such a specific way that any advice I could give in that realm would not be applicable to individuals. Looking for an athletic woman? Play sports. Work out. Do hard things. Run a half marathon, 5K, beer mile, mud run. Go kayaking. Hike and have interesting stories and photos from the top. Country woman? Hunt. Fish (but be more than fish pics). Know what you're doing in the outdoors. Go camping. Try ATV. Have coo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:55 PM
1

Generally more common for women. ...which is one of the reasons men interpret women being friendly as "romantic/sexual interest" more often. Because some men have never experienced that kind of higher energy interaction before, especially if they've mostly been around dudes. So it reads as flirtation, even when it's her natural communication style. Speaking as a man, it's only uncomfortable if you've never done it before. But most of us figure out that it's necessary to adapt how you communicate…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 04:01 PM
2

I guess because most of your points are more about introversion than actually directly engaging with the potential partner. Introversion is a disposition, not a manner of interacting with the world. The difference between introverts and extroverts isn't whether or not they possess the ability to do these things, but whether or not group social settings exhilarate them or drain their battery. Men aren't naturally socialized to interact this way, which is why it's a learned skill for men who aren'…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:46 PM
2

No, my reply was not directed to you. Can't find it now but there was another comment about improvement guaranteeing a guy a specific woman. That's what I was replying to. Don't see it now. I actually agree with much of your points, particularly the parts about guys majoring in STEM... and the guys who overdo it at the gym (who often take it too far) - most women find bodybuilder physiques unattractive, and prefer athletic physiques that are somewhere between (because all women are different) le…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:34 PM
1

I think the last bullet point is about the actively pursuing what you want. If someone has issues around confidence and pursuing what they want, or around fear and pursuing what they want, that's something to be worked on...but I don't really know of a "strategy" that applies there. They just have to do the hard work...whether it's building confidence through some of the other things on the list and accomplishments outside of the dating/sex/relationship realm, or whether it's addressing cripplin…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:11 PM
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Being fun to be around Being extroversion capable Being capable of socializing equally in a group and one-on-one Sense of humor Being interesting/having interesting stories to tell Having the awareness to know when someone doesn't find a topic interesting and knowing to change it Doesn't take himself too seriously, but also doesn't abide disrespect Expressive mannerisms and tone of voice to supplement all of the above It can absolutely be learned, trained, and improved.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:57 PM
1

The problem is people like the poster you replied to are operating from a point of what the redpill calls one-itis. "Self improve, and you will attract her." ❌❌❌ Self improvement isn't about individual women, because individual women have individual preferences, and some just may not be interested no matter what you do. Self-improvement is about aligning yourself to your self image and becoming the man you want to be, and in a dating context, is about improving the quality and quantity of option…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:52 PM
2

Wingmanning is a thing and can/does help if a woman has the potential to be attracted to a guy (aka she finds him at least somewhat attractive, but it isn't actionable for her yet). It can help build safety, social proof, or allow him to reveal more vulnerable parts of his personality through his friend where if he revealed it himself, it would seem either dishonest/performative, or allows the friend to elaborate more on the guy's virtue in a way that would come across as bragging if he revealed…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:48 PM
2

As far as strategies go, some of these came naturally, others I added to this list through observing and helping friends and seeing what did and didn't work: Learning to banter and flirt. Learning how to not say everything, leave a little mystery, leave a little room for her to ask follow-up questions. Resisting the urge to compare/contrast in conversation. This is especially huge for ND types, who often subconsciously do these things. You don't have to relate everything back to you, or make a j…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:48 PM
1

Men often have different preferences. To me, the "pure" thing always gave me an ick. If you like sex, own it. As long as you've practiced safe sex and been reasonable about hookups, it was never an issue. In fact, it can be a great way to start a relationship too if the sex is great and you realize you're more compatible around the other things than you thought. I always hated job interview style dates, because they were boring. The purpose of first dates is to get to know each other and see if …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 11:59 AM
2

Nah that'll just attract lowlives, criminals, and gangbangers. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 11:51 AM
2

That sounds like those women are just not attracted to you. It never ceases to amaze on this sub when guys tell on themselves by saying stuff like this. If you've ever had a woman be attracted to you, you know they make it easy if you can read and react to a few basic social cues. Nobody has to jump through hoops or meet some checklist except the guy she was never really attracted to in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 11:49 AM
2

This. Also the notion that most American women are fat. Tons of healthy, hot available American women who are willing to work, who speak English well enough to be hilarious and fun to be around, and who won't expect you to send money "back home" or chain-migrate their whole family. Tons of fat foreign poor women, too. Lots of horrible international diets and sedentary lifestyles too, and obesity is always highest among the poor. Skill issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 11:30 AM
9

This "status" thing is just BS cope by older men who: wasted their sexual and aesthetic prime chasing mediocre to slightly above average amounts of money at jobs that ruined their social lives and gave zero fucks in return were never attractive as a total package, but who think their "resources" grant them some measure of attractiveness (usually to gold diggers) that their looks and personality combo never got them. They fail to realize that: Money doesn't make women wet. Being able to "buy a wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 11:08 AM
2

Smh...That doesn't even make sense
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:46 AM
4

Y'all tell on yourselves constantly because you have to resort to fiction about the wives and gf's of happily married or relationshipped guys here to justify loser behavior. LBH's constantly reinforce negative stereotypes about men. They're losers, and the rest of men aren't going to sit around justifying their bullshit as "choices". We'd declassify such losers from even being called men if we could.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:08 AM
9

If third world women didn't care about money, geomaxxing wouldn't work. FTFY Way to admit you cant pull with looks and/or personality, and you can't pull with money at your own exchange rate (not that that would make you anything but a mark for golddiggers anyway) and had to leverage your country's currency value (built by others of course) to settle for a Temu pyrite digger girlfriend. 🤮 Passport bros will never not be embarrassing and pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 01:49 AM
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"Islam" smh...most 21-25 year olds dont want crusty ass old men, no matter what they "provide" SMH...I guess the cease fire has allowed the mullahs to restart the propaganda machine.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 11:19 AM
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No, this is just having an opposite sex roommate who's also a close friend. This is not a relationship. Sexual acts, even if they're not PIV, are part of a relationship. Granted, it's different if you built that relationship and then the sex went away for medical reasons, an accident, etc. and that person was your person, but this is not that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:45 PM
6

Money doesn't compensate for lack of attractiveness or being boring or miserable. Some women will hold their nose for money, but that's not true attraction. Women dating their peers only care about prospects inasmuch as someone's lifestyle is compatible with their own. If she dreams of a house, an acre, two car garage, and homeownership one day, she's not gonna settle down with a guy with no ability to pull his weight to get her there. Similar if she wants a pied a terre in a major city, and to …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:56 PM
8

It's deeply contextual, though. Somebody stops you on the street or telemarkets you? It's right to ask yourself "what do they want?" and be defensive about it. Some people are very aggressive and pushy in general, and thus merit greater scrutiny and wariness. Anyone who's ever lived in a major city understands this. Like, if we just met, don't be asking me a ton of super personal stuff. Same goes for dating...have fun first, establish that there's a connection worth fighting for, then see how de…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 06:30 PM
16

This. Basic respect is a given until proven to be unmerited. But trust is earned. You start from nothing and then prove you deserve it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 06:24 PM
4

The issue with the redpill is that, like most things insidious (including socialism), it's rooted in a little bit of truth in descriptive ways (identifying problems), but the solutions are prescriptively wrong. The truth: Attraction, social skills, flirting/banter, being interesting/fun, confidence, and having a future outlook that is appealing to someone considering a life (or even a fling) with you...makes you a better prospective partner. And you, as a man, have to put yourself out there to m…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 03:27 PM
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For the same reason that men are interested in lesbian porn. The OP's premise is completely fundamentally flawed. It's almost as if when you're heterosexual, you find the opposite gender acting sexually hot. While I don't personally relate to this (real world > fantasy and it's not even close), I suppose that part of the appeal could be the absence of other women aka competition (such as in Heated Rivalry), or the absence of other men (as in lesbian porn, aka no need to "deal with the dick" to w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 02:58 PM
7

This. Women increasingly love sports because it's not seen as "male" only, and because there are more opportunities for women and girls to play, and more women's targeted influencers (eg "baseballforbaddies") making sports more palatable for the female gaze. What women sports fans don't love is the over-emotional, live-or-die-with-every-pitch, punch-holes-in-walls-and-be-inconsolable-when-my-team-loses, hate-the-opposing-players-and-curse-them-out-even-when-not-present vitriol, and lewd heckling…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 02:52 PM
7

Similar. Mine was a walk over a local landmark bridge, then around a local area park. We got hungry, and the only thing around was a Japanese restaurant (I don't particularly like sushi, but I'll eat a beef teriyaki anytime)...it wasn't scripted and we split the bill. Other common first dates: ice skating, walk in the park, movie (more common when I was high school aged), hanging out at her place or mine (if we knew each other already), drinks, neighborhood walk, art exhibit, food truck, free or…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 02:47 PM
2

I actually disagree with this. Nonchalance is usually borne of middle school teasing. The "fast" kids who express interest in girls are teased for having a crush...or a girlfriend. They're usually, but not always, the confident ones, though, so they often press through it. But everyone else sees this teasing and gets gun shy around asking women out. This single thing, I'd argue, contributes to a lot of the inhibition men have around just fucking cutting to the chase and asking a woman they like …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 05:30 PM
3

Men without a personality always assume the differentiator is money. They may or may not be able to compete on looks (those who can't adopt blackpillism, those who have looks and don't understand their results develop a false inferiority complex about looks)...but the key point is they turn towards money and simping. Money, however, doesn't build attraction. It maybe enable an attractive lifestyle, but then it's the lifestyle (which is derived from personality/fun) that makes that man interestin…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:35 PM
2

Even "negging" has multiple connotations. Depending on who you ask, it can be playfully self-deprecating flirting ("you wouldn't want to hang out with me, I'm nothing but trouble" when a woman is giving signs she's interested), though it's generally assumed to mean backhanded compliments or outright insults (which don't work, BTW) used to "knock a woman off her high horse" which is just typically PUA bullshit that doesn't work and is likely to get the awkward weirdos who try it completely reject…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 10:29 AM
32

Yes and no. I think women experience attraction differently than men. But we're talking about desire here, not just attraction. I don't think attraction is responsive, but I think desire is. And attraction without desire, for many women, isn't actionable. Visceral attraction for most women, isn't actionable. It might make her put herself in proximity to him more, but for many women it only becomes actionable once he flirts with her, teases her (playfully, not in a negative way), or otherwise act…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:49 PM
3

Its not that binary. Either extreme is unattractive to women, but women literally dont know the 2nd type since he doesnt meet women or convey interest, so even though both types are unattractive, he'll still have 0 success.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:34 PM
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Basketball, apparently. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:45 AM
3

If "hoops" is being fun, good company, and flirting...that really isn't much effort at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:41 AM
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Third world countries wouldn't keep shit sustained. They have stupid ideologies and systems, and are utterly reliant on charity from the developed world to avoid fates that commonly befell people in the Middle Ages. They are utterly reliant on charity and innovation from Western countries.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 08:38 AM
1

What exactly do you mean by "collectivist narratives" here? I mean this: things which are unflattering to women as a group Those are "collectivist narratives". If you're saying these kinds of things, they should be pushed back on. Now replace "women" with any group, and it's still true.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 05:37 AM
10

100% this. Take the upvote. Too many "struggling men" use "develop social skills" as slang for "try to learn cheat codes and how to speed run women as if they're video games" which is not how humans work. There are no cheat codes. But getting better social skills will get you there naturally...it's just not the overnight process these guys want...nor the repeatable predictable result based off someone else's playbook that they want it to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:09 AM
1

These aren't the same men. Lots of us aren't signing up for war, but we do stand up for the women in our lives or call out bullshit when we see it...and when circumstances aren't too dicey, we'll help out strangers too. A lot of "protection" also comes from how you make someone feel. Let's be real - a lot of people, particularly in the West, are fairly privileged in the sense that they're never truly in life or death circumstances or need to be defended when they're with someone...but in some ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 03:52 AM
2

Collectivist narratives can and should be pushed back upon, particularly negative ones, because people are individuals. That goes regardless of whether "women" or "men" are the target of said narratives.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 05:41 PM
1

It's called an analogy. It's to illustrate a point. The point is, someone who insists on serious conversations over a first date isn't fun to me, doesn't share my idea of fun, and therefore we're not compatible. You and the OP are free to disagree, that's fine, I'm already happily married and not dating either of you. But know that you're limiting yourself by adopting the strategy you are, especially if you value enjoying the other's company more than valuing a "practical" relationship where the…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 04:45 AM
1

I see by your flair that you’re married though, so obviously I hope dating remains a thing of the past for you! 😉 I hope so too! People like me wouldn’t be a fit for you and vice versa. And yeah, agreed on that. Not everybody needs to be compatible, and that's okay. I always took the approach that at least if we weren't compatible, I'd have had fun doing something fun, so even if the company isn't good, and it's obviously not going to be something to pursue, it's "at least I got to do that fun t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:42 PM
0

It's a case of what comes first: Personally, I think spending a few minutes to try and have a good time with someone, and finding out I don't enjoy their company, is far better use of time and faster at disqualifying bad matches...vs. asking a bunch of serious and personal questions to someone I barely know (and having to reveal a bunch of deeply personal information to someone I likely have no trust with yet in return) only to find that I've "wasted the time" if we get past all that and I reali…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 07:30 PM
17

Their shoe size isn't relevant to their ability to give financial advice, which is the question you're posing. Their attitudes towards money and spending habits, however, absolutely are.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 05:24 PM
22

OP does realize that none of these actually say anything about either person's attitudes towards money, or spending habits, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 05:21 PM
4

This is a terrible approach. You're putting your worst foot forward and asking others to put their worst foot forward before getting to the good stuff. When you drive a car, the first step is hyping the features. The second is the test drive, most often. You don't talk about how much it's going to cost up front. The dealer doesn't come up to you, shake your hand, and give a list of all the recalls, technical service bulletins, and consumer reports complaints before you drive it. You have to hear…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 01:16 PM
1

One of several things: Absolutely no ability to flirt No ability to express his interest in a woman early on No confidence Spineless and/or pushover Lack of a personality ("nice" =/= a personality) Ridiculously romantically unaware socially and missing signs of interest left and right Seen as gay or asexual or religious, largely due to some facet of how he presents himself Unless you're a 5'1", 300 pound Weeble, it's going to be at least one of the above.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 05:22 AM
4

"But I wrote you a powerpoint presentation citing sources including multiple peer reviewed studies, explaining why we'd be perfect together, I asked to be your friend, and I confessed that I have feelings for you because of your beauty, and explained why I think we'd be really practical together....why won't you fuck me yet?" -this sub, mostly
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 01:54 AM
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I'm going to laugh my ass off the first time one of these things malfunctions and some dude gets his dick caught in one... Going to be an interesting lawsuit. But seriously, these "AI sex robot girlfriend" posts are just sad...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 08:12 PM
0

The guys in the back should try spending more time around women and less time with dudes then.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 04:16 PM
-1

Total disagree. There is tolerance towards men learning these skills...when they're teenagers, which is the appropriate time. There is little tolerance for adult men fumbling these skills as part of an effort to "learn" when they've somehow neglected a major part of their social development during their formative years. And PLEASE stop with the friendzone crap. The man who pretends to be a woman's friend in the hopes of securing a relationship with her is NOT practicing flirting skills. In fact,…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 04:13 PM
2

Boys need to be taught to build an inherent sense of self-worth that comes from trying things, discerning what you like authentically, and forging an unabashed identity and sense of self. That happens independently of "women" and often precedes attraction or validation from women. Too many boys are taught to be caricatures of men based on what "society expects" and are utterly miserable about it, then settle into anti-masculine stereotypes and sloth out of rebellion and/or resignation. Neither i…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 04:35 PM
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Addictions: video games, gambling, social media, Youtube, drugs Lack of socialization, often as a byproduct of the addictions above. Overemphasis on things that make men more attractive to other men: muscles, sports cars, money instead of things like learning how to talk to women in attractive ways, building an attractive lifestyle, mannerisms, etc. Increased levels of ND in the population due to more parents having children late which increases risk factors...these symptoms often manifest more …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 02:29 PM
8

Kids with Fathers in their life fair better than not. How is it that children fair better with their Father, those same children grow up to be women and they see no value in MEN? And kids with shit fathers or absentee fathers are worse off. There are a lot of whiny, weak-willed, addicted men these days...and they're undateable. Women aren't interested in them, normal men aren't interested in being friends with them, and they refuse to change. Being enjoyable to be around is baseline. Some people…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:30 PM
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Of course. But my argument is that because true high value men won't simp for a woman, it really hasn't skewed the dating market all that much. Most women don't want a man who'll simp for her. So these guys, at the end of the day, are really competing with themselves and each other for nobody. They're effectively removing themselves from the dating pool by behaving this way, which makes it easier for someone who is able to convey self-worth ("confidence") and is reasonably average looking or bet…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 04:04 PM
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The irony of this is that simpy, desperate, thirsty men aren't really the standard - women hate them. But social media has allowed "influencers" to normalize the behavior such that many women who lack relationship experience think that hot guys should simp for them, in which case they'd find the simping okay. Then, some men will be willing to do that if she's hot enough once she conveys her interest, because they're convinced they can't do better, and they have low value/low self-esteem. Which t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 03:57 PM
6

Maybe they have a fantasy for dead bodies That's fucking weird and disgusting. Seek help.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 03:26 PM
6

It's called a fleshlight. Those already exist. Nobody is pretending fleshlights are sentient, actual girlfriends, or have personalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 03:15 PM
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There's a LOT of truth to this in one's 30s, and it's a big reason why guys shouldn't write off female friendships. Women don't do this to the same degree men do. I have a few different social circles with different vibes, some better than others, but it IS something people will fall into when you cross 30 (men moreso than women) and you can't always predict who it's gonna happen to. My core friends are my core friends, so we're more talking about the periphery here, but it's a very real thing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:07 PM
6

Just being blunt here - but that's honestly pathetic. Have some self-respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 02:00 PM
1

For sure. I have multiple friend groups and some have held up better than others...this is usually a key ingredient as to why. It's also one of the reasons my wife is my best friend - she has the same mindset I do about things and has no interest in getting "stuck".
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 09:19 AM
12

The wild thing about all this "AI sex robots" talk from Redditors is that LLM's don't even come close to mimicking the feel of talking to a real human. AIM chatbots existed 25 years ago and weren't really all that different. The people who just want a computerized virtual sex slave apparently don't know the difference. It's like they want to combine a blowup doll, a phone sex hotline, and an AIM chatbot and somehow pretend it's a real human. It's positively dystopian.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 09:16 AM
2

Disagree on this. The US never had a monoculture. It had multiple different subcultures. Even in the 1990s, you had grunge, you had harder rock, you had the LiteFM crowd, you had the pop kids, you had early college rock (what would become emo/pop-punk), you had old school punk, you had EDM, you had industrial/goth, you had country, you had hip hop and R&B...and these mostly didn't all interact with each other. The 2000s added nu metal, higher prevalence of autotune in pop and R&B, emo, and sever…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:54 PM
-2

That political leftism is fundamentally incompatible with feminist ideals of equality and good treatment for women. I don't know why women push back on it so hard (at least leftist women on Reddit do). The history of political leftism creates economic scarcity, which always manifests as decreased need for intellectual labor, which gives men more of a pre-eminence in the workforce (though they're certainly not happy either) because physical labor takes on a greater and greater component, and wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:24 PM
5

IMO the biggest issue I see with male friendship is that many of them take on a different character around 30 or 35. When you're in your teens and 20s, you're joking all the time, laughing, going through life together, doing new things, and generally living life. Yet at some point, our lives become about "work" and "providing" and the spark is gone. Conversations go from "here's a fun thing I'm doing, you should come" to "remember this fun thing we did 10 years ago?" Hell, take sports, since it'…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:20 PM
5

Or, alternatively, the fun guy who pitched the kinky sex act as something fun they could try together, no pressure, but it could be really hot... ...gives off a way better vibe than the autistic ass dude whining about how it's so unfair that Chad got to do [sex act] and he "ALWAYS" has to do vanilla and "WHAT ELSE" did she do that she's not telling him?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:10 PM
1

Generally yes, but (obviously) not in a firsthand way. I think I have a general sense of the struggles they encounter, where, and with what type of men...and the different types of struggles that different types of women have. I think reasoning is very individual however, and can't be "understood" but I do understand the most common issues and fears, and the most common issues with attraction/non-attraction across several different archetypes of women though individual cases may vary. What I don…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:02 PM
2

You're going to spend potentially 50+ years with this person, so yeah, "not boring" is a reasonable expectation that most people have of their partners. Desperation shouldn't negate that, but we always hear about how boring people want it to be ignored. Most of us would rather stay single and keep options open than choose to spend the majority of our lives (and potentially raise children with) a boring person.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 08:00 PM
8

Just be friendly, but not desperate. Guys get like salesmen trying to close a deal around women, and it's offputting. Just be friendly and act mostly like you're friendzoning her...while occasionally bantering/flirting in such a way that you maintain plausible deniability. Keep her guessing...the push pull is kinda fun when you learn to embrace it. Then, see who finds reasons to keep talking to you. Go from there. If there's interest, start with making plans away from everyone else. If she asks …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 07:33 PM
2

When I was 20, I ran a painting company for a summer. When I started, selling paint jobs was tough. I probably sold 1 in 7 or 8. By the end, I stopped selling. I'd just do the estimate, leave space for the customer to ask questions, and then basically hang out with them if they were willing to talk (and a surprising amount of them were). I'd ask them about the house, the neighborhood, if they were from the town or moved there, etc. And it worked on both men and women. Male homeowners told colleg…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 05:14 PM
0

How much per month do you spend on the following? Eating lunch out at work Subscriptions or memberships you don't actually use Video games and video game subscriptions Pornography The sum of all your non-Amazon Prime TV subscriptions, minus one: Netflix, Hulu, Discovery+, Disney+, cable, etc. Credit card interest Store coffee instead of made at home Sending your laundry out instead of doing it youself Taxes on money saved in taxable accounts instead of non-taxable ??? Most people have massive in…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 04:44 PM
3

Everyone has the ability to choose their crowd. Starting with common interests is usually the first step, because it increases the likelihood you'll get along. But there are lots of different communication styles, and generally compatible ones work best together, which often comes from getting to know people to see if they mesh well.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 04:35 PM
1

Laughable take. Definitely not a boomer. Shit has gotten infinitely easier. Every social club or group has a web presence. Every place that hosts events has a Facebook page. There are literally social clubs that exist for strangers to meet each other, and they all advertise for free and can be searched for online. You don't have to know somebody or go through word of mouth. You can just pay a nominal fee and show up. You just choose to use technology for "cheap fleeting entertainment." That's a …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:48 PM
2

You have to learn to discern between "I did something wrong" and "that person is an asshole." If that person is an asshole, write them off. Stand up for yourself, but write them off. But if everyone is an asshole, then you need to look at the company you keep first and see if there are commonalities (and if so, surround yourself with different people), and if there doesn't seem to be any pattern, then you need to look inward.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:39 PM
4

The left is unserious about this because it prescribes the same top-down government mandates of socialism/communism as the solution for both problems. Women rebel against it sexually because it's anti-freedom. Yet somehow the left still can't understand why people rebel against similar ideas economically - because it's anti-freedom. The DSA is unserious. The apparent contradictions in leftism aren't a bug...they're a feature. American leftism has been going on for over a hundred years, and has a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:35 PM
2

Disagree. Life globally is more expensive, but many things have become a lot cheaper. Huge flat screen 4K TVs cost a fraction of what smaller CRT's cost thirty years ago. Almost anything can be researched online, or learned online, free of charge. Physical encyclopedias and dictionaries are incomplete. You can keep up with what your friends and family are doing online without the need for lengthy phone calls, giving you time back in your life when those communications are more efficient, and you…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:26 PM
1

Okay, so never change. Keep doing what you're doing then, because it's working so well for you. That's what you want me to say, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:14 PM
1

That's not true at all. I've seen plenty of 6'+ college educated white collar dudes in decent shape struggle mightily with women and never a second date because they exhibited what we'll call "Reddit behavior" on first dates. And struggle in party settings. Hell, I wingmanned for a few over the years. When they fixed the socialization issue, they started getting better results immediately.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:05 PM
0

Get a job at a museum as a tour guide, as a cashier or server, as a host/emcee/frontman, as a presenter...or some other kind of position where you have to talk to people with a captive audience for a sustained period of time. It will get you over that fear. And if you can learn to give a good presentation in that context, you can learn to talk to people outside of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:03 PM
3

The other thing that can help someone new to social settings is just being there and shutting up. You don't always have to say anything. Sometimes other people will just...talk to you. Watch how others interact and don't feel the need to jump into their conversation. General things that Redditors in general (and autists, since there's often overlap) could stand to learn about socialization: General polite banalities like weather aren't "bullshit" - they're neutral topics designed to get people t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:59 PM
1

The mindset that will change your life is to use mistakes and embarrassment as catalysts for improvement rather than as unassailable negative feedback from the world on your "true" worth (quotes for sarcasm). In short, you fail...you shrug it off, take a moment for yourself, then go back to the lab and fix what went wrong...and try to put yourself back in that same situation as soon as possible to try out the new approach. And you never make the same mistake twice. That's literally growth.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:46 PM
5

For what it's worth, this is good advice for learning any new skill.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:45 PM
17

I think it's a lot of indoor middle class and UMC dudes - often white, middle eastern, or asian - who don't get out a lot. Let's be real, it's Reddit...a lot would pick video games as one of their top 2 hobbies for example. They have enough knowledge to be dangerous - they went to college, know people partied, but they themselves really didn't...and when exposed to manosphere content, extrapolate the shadows of the experiences they think they understand because they were vaguely in the general a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:44 PM
1

100% agree. Most people need the kind of connection and commitment that makes that struggle worth it, and believably likely that you'll come out on the other side of it okay. A lot of people, when dating, just go through the motions though. They date, and it never progresses. Eventually you have to start building a life together. It's a way of testing the waters to see if this person can truly be a partner. If you're still living completely separately, occasionally going on dates, but still very…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:38 PM
5

Same. People who've only read about the hookup scene don't understand this. I was an idiot at 18. Yeah, on paper, I was successful, but I spent my freshman year at college trying to hook up with women who were definitely relationship material, and trying to date women who I should've just been trying to hook up with. And yeah, both happened (and nothing lasted longer than a few months). But it wasn't cuz I viewed myself as out of someone's league or they viewed themselves as out of mine. We were…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:30 PM
2

These things will stop lots of women from fucking you. If no women will fuck you, its because of your looks. If you look good some woman will be willing to fuck you, and just like lots of men, lots of women don't have any standards beyond "looks good". No, not really. Women aren't men. They don't fuck on sight alone. If she flirts with a guy she thinks is hot who exhibits those negative behaviors, she will conclude his lack of ability to flirt back is either non-interest or discomfort. She's not…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 01:36 PM
5

Depends on his goals. Lots of women are also boring Correct. if he's just wants a girlfriend, his looks are all he has to worry about, stricter filters than "female " are for the privileged. Incorrect. This is low value behavior. It's the mindset of panhandlers. And women can smell it from a mile away. It's desperate and pathetic. Completely untrue I always laugh when people with little to no casual sex or relationship experience make these claims. I've known plenty of guys who struggled with co…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 10:50 PM
19

And the irony of all this "effort" is that if he's still a scowling gymcel with no personality who thinks being performatively "nice" is a personality, all of that looksmaxxing will be for naught. It won't help him be better at a sport, since he doesn't play any. It won't net him friends when he chooses to view every other man as "competition" and insist on hierarchical pissing competitions with other dudes that will make other men resent him. With women, it might get him initial attraction, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 10:12 PM
4

See, that's where I know you're lying. No two people have the exact same mannerisms and can tell the exact same joke. A lot of ND's miss the body language, tone, etc. stuff and it shows. Two people can convey the same idea with very different words, inflections, and mannerisms. There's no such thing as two men who are completely identical except for looks. I suppose you could test for personality traits by using identical twins, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 05:49 PM
1

Because they have an unattractive personality type. And if their response to that is going to continue to be to write manifestos about how morally superior they think they are by being "authentic" even as they rage about not getting what they want, then they deserve to be perpetually single. No different than broke people who don't want to work writing long screeds about why they think they're entitled to other people's money. Not going to make people want to share with them, not going to help t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 05:46 PM
0

The lumberjack incel does not dress, or even look like the the frat guy. The alternative dude absolutely looks nothing close to the gangly armed programmer. They often have similar body types and facial features. The difference boils down to socialization/personality and style. The incels would fail in the same setting with the same women because their mannerisms and body language would be off, their delivery of the joke would probably be flat/monotone and suck, and their style of clothing/groom…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 04:53 PM
9

Because the OP generally denigrates sexuality since she is asexual aromantic, and projects that onto other people. Her ideal relationship is likely a friendship, and she seems unwilling or unable to accept that that's not enough for most men and women, which is why a lot of posters (including me) don't often engage with the posts, since they literally all say the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:40 PM
2

Then why do overweight fatty bearded frat boys with fun personalities get characterized as teddy bears and lumberjack-adjacent, while fatty neckbeards with the exact same physique become incels? Why do some women prefer skinny dudes with alternative style to match theirs, but not go for weak, mealy mouthed milquetoasts with equally gangly arms who think programming games onto their calculator is cool? There are lots of physical and facial preferences, and lots of personality preferences. But you…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:34 PM
1

My advice is generally directed towards younger men who frequent this sub, who aren't jaded, and who haven't aged out of the better options as you have. Sorry to say, life doesn't wait for anyone. I don't get to go to Disney as a kid, and you don't get to date as an attractive 20-something. The sad part is that the root cause is even right there in your last post: I didn't date in my 20s because I had this stupid idea I needed to 'make something of myself' first...Well I did that, but now I'm be…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:29 PM
5

This is just the female version of "casual sex is better than a relationship" The best thing is to be the person they'd fuck voluntarily, but both choose to be in a relationship with each other where you both are loyal to one another and continue the excitement. Ideal state: you should be or become best friends who also want to have sex with each other. This "either or" narrative is just settling, no matter how you genderflip it. You shouldn't be with someone for convenience or practical reasons…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 02:02 PM
1

I don't know how to break this to you, but none of that would change. You think 6'3" fit conventionally attractive former college athlete men with MBA/PHD/JD/MD degrees and six figure jobs who want relationships and ultimately families someday are sitting around endlessly swiping on mid women on Tinder? The only thing you're going to normalize is more project thots and trailer park trash "approaching." The most desirable people never have to resort to cold-calling, the same way that an in-demand…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 01:44 PM
1

To a woman? Assuming you're heterosexual, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 01:40 PM
2

The reason you find old guys trying to play what you call a young man's game is because, forced to choose, they want the experience you've already had more than the experience you're having now. They don't want to marry whoever will take them and be locked into a boring suburban life. They still want to become a man who has some manner of choice. They're still trying to keep some kind of hope alive. And that's why they end up alone. Because they isolate their peers who move on to advance through…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 01:34 PM
2

Being funny and interesting works. Being a douchebag does not. Being "respectful" is extremely boring, especially if it comes with a heaping helping of inhibition, inability to start interesting lines of conversation, and an inability to be humorous or entertaining throughout.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 01:18 PM
0

Did that for a while. It gets boring. And eventually, the parties stop. People settle down. Your friend group moves on and isnt hanging out all hours of the night. If you're ambitious, like me, eventually you get tired of living in an apartment and taking public transit when you can buy a house, have space and no annoying neighbors, and own a car you arent paying a second rent to store in a garage. And you want to be part of a real community instead of a transient big city existence where everyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 04:12 AM
3

This. Its at someone's house party or apartment more often...meet up, pregame, everyone invites friends if its good until it grows, then everyone goes out after (or subgroups of the big party do) to a dive bar/club or some place with a good special so you could keep the party going CHEAP. $7 Long Islands and dollar drafts FED FAMILIES back in the day. Then you close the place down at 4am, eat whatevers open thats cheap, and stagger back home or to your buddy's as the sun's coming up...save for t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 03:05 AM
0

>90% of KNOWN sexual abuse is committed by men It's well documented that male victims don't come forward. You're blowing this off because you want to win the struggle Olympics. Men can and absolutely do understand this. Many men have even experienced it. And you blowing that off is every bit as disrespectful as every guy who claims SA doesn't happen to women because "he's never seen/done it", full stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:27 PM
–

Because these guys are broke, low ambition in their own country, and unattractive so they want someone else to subsidize their ability to leverage the favorable circumstances of their birth to merit something they didn't earn in their home country and wouldn't have earned in the third world had they been born in the third world. There's a reason they call them Losers Back Home.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:18 PM
–

Exactly. A lot of foreign cultures are downright claustrophobic. Like, incels complain about having to take women out on dates or manage to be interesting/funny, but signing themselves up to simp financially for some woman and have her whole ass family move in with them, change his religion, and otherwise pay for all of them just to get a lick of women's attraction. And they always ignore the fact that most men are finding sexual partners, girlfriends, and ultimately pairing off. The problem are…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:15 PM
0

They are not non-sequiturs at all, and attitudes like yours are why men who suffer sexual abuse and rape continue to not be taken seriously or dehumanized further in the wake of their victimization.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 07:49 PM
0

It's not about quantity, it's about quality. Attractive guys also get hit on by weird gay men from the time they're teenagers, and a teenager is not "significantly stronger" than a grown ass adult. Likewise, anyone who's spent 5 minutes in the hood knows there are women who partner with men who set guys up as if they're going to hook up only to mug him. Are those women safe just because they're not the ones physically doing the mugging? You sound sheltered.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 07:35 PM
1

I don't know what to tell you. It happens all the time. People just usually put feelers out through their friends first if they're going to try, and if the other person isn't interested, it comes back through the mutual friend, and then it stops because the interest isn't mutual. People aren't actively trying to set up their friends absent any indicators of interest from either side. Having a friend group isn't justification to be completely passive. You just have to be more tactful, but it can …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 03:08 PM
0

Just gonna have to hard disagree on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:57 PM
-2

No, it wouldn't. Most people cultivate multiple friend groups around different interests and then they start to interact with people as individuals. You look for the common ground with those other people, you don't need to fall in line with their existing interest. And for a lot of people in their 20s in particular, they have enough interests that it's pretty hard not to...especially if it's a social crowd, because almost everyone likes trying new/interesting food, traveling to different places,…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:57 PM
5

A lot of advice women give each other reflects it: laugh at his jokes, show interest in what he says, praise him, don’t challenge him too much, don’t show that you’re smarter, don’t argue, make him feel good about himself, let him feel important. The thing about this advice is that it is more about avoiding dealbreakers than it is about meeting a guy's needs. Men face intense pressure from society in public to be stoic and respected. A man who is belittled publicly by his woman is seen as not a …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:51 PM
4

The key, if you're going to go that route, is to start to socialize with your friends outside of the group where you become part of their personal social group and they think of you as "their friend" not "their friend from activity"...then you'll get to meet the other friends that don't share the hobby.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:48 PM
1

Nah it's when you both love sex so much you talk about stuff outside of the bedroom or during pillow talk because you're already building up to the next time and you both want to explore because it's exciting, there's more to do, and the most important thing is trying out new things while maintaining that mutual attraction and respect such that nobody is "forced" to do anything. And a funny thing happens along the way - people are more willing to try new things or to trust you with things when t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:32 PM
2

It only looks "free" to you because you're pedestalizing sex with "anyone...literally anyone". Look at how most people live, even in the first world. It's far from good. Is divorce free? Is child support free? Is a woman who marries you and starts maxing out credit cards in your name free? Is a woman who cheats on you free? Is a trashy woman who beats you down emotionally and then threatens to play victim if you try to end things or report her free? Is a woman who moves in with you and then won'…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:25 PM
-4

Women vote in favor of mass immigration cutting those jobs earning potential and positions. Leftist women do. Most women do not. And most women that side with left-leaning parties on migration do so for other reasons (ie being pro-choice) and not because they support the actual immigration policy of the left, which has largely been dictated by leftists over the past 10 years. Bernie Sanders and the resurgence of the DSA is one of the two worst things to happen to politics in the last decade.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 01:08 PM
26

It's likely a mixture of Reddit autism (fixation on "fairness") and people with no experience whatsoever experiencing severe FOMO about a situation they're usually not even actually in because they've been sucked in by ragebait.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 10:22 PM
8

Men do understand what that's like if they were/are attractive and were ever around gay men or in a situation where a gay predator tried something. Remember, parents aren't just telling their daughters not to get in cars with strangers - they're giving the same advice to their sons and for good reason. And there's no strength advantage when you're talking about a preteen boy vs. a grown ass adult. Gay men absolutely do this shit to teen boys and it's fucking sick. Most guys clock it just as easi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 10:01 PM
4

For sure. (At least in my experience as a guy), when a guy is there, they're generally less disrespectful about it, more indirect about it (like trying to buddy-buddy me to compliment her instead of complimenting her directly or using third person to their buddy to compliment her rather than second person to address her directly), and they're far less aggressive about everything they do because the potential of men for violence often serves as a deterrent when a guy is present since (unless he's…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 09:30 PM
14

Attractive guys - and guys who've dated attractive women - absolutely do understand street harrassment, they just don't always talk about it. But it's actually a big motivator for most men when they describe themselves as "protectors" and when their girlfriends/wives say they feel safer with them in public. It's not about fighting, it's about capability and deterrence.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:59 PM
12

Online, all the time, in the very subs where sex/gender issues are debated. Where do you think all the griefing about "average" women having "unrealistic standards" comes from? It's borne of "how dare that fat woman with two kids from her baby daddy message an average guy who's not fat and doesn't have kids, wanting a relationship"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:57 PM
5

I'm really not. The things I listed are far from black and white, and in fact are very complex. They're not easily solved by "random less-desired women who are more desperate due to fewer options occasionally hit on him"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:55 PM
14

Judging by the amount of men raging about messages from single moms and fat/unattractive women on OLD, I highly suspect that there would be a short honeymoon period followed by regret and/or rage.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:23 PM
12

Random fleeting interactions with strangers aren't why men are succumbing to desperation. It's multifactorial: Career/work pressure and loss of identity. Lack of supportive friends/family. Divorce/loss of contact with children. Unresolved PTSD from wars/frontline careers and stigma from seeking treatment or being seen as "unmasculine" if they do. Addictions to drugs/alcohol/gambling/other. It's not because random people aren't bothering him wanting things from him. It's kind of like someone sayi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:03 PM
49

Speaking as a self-defined above average guy...It's fine until it's not. At first, it'll be validating. But after a while, it'll become annoying. You go for a run after high school, say for cross country practice. It's hot, so you take your shirt off and run shirtless. 70 year old women start whistling at you and complimenting you. You put your shirt back on and your headphones in to tune it out. Women running with you tap you on the shoulder while you're just trying to run and want to have conv…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 07:04 PM
1

Wanting to be choked or tied up isn't about wanting to be actually dominated. It's about adding a heightened sensory experience that comes from ceding control to someone that they trust, in a simulated act of loss of power where they are still very much in control of their own boundaries. It's about trust. That's very different than...trusting any random guy who hasn't demonstrated he can locate her pleasure pain boundary while engaging in pretty basic nipple play...or trusting a guy who doesn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 06:43 PM
2

His comment is giving Eliot Rodger energy: "I have a BMW and a high income, and I'm wearing Brooks Brothers with a Philippe Patek watch. Why won't women talk to me?" A personality does help a guy, provided he's reasonably attractive/fit. But "a personality" = fun, sense of humor, up to try new things, has lots of fun ideas, social, capable of flirting and building tension, confident enough to seal the deal where the attraction is mutual. It doesn't = "nice" which is just vanilla politeness and/o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 06:26 PM
2

A lot of times trying things is just exploration. Especially if you're going to have sex with someone for a long time, why do the same thing every time? That doesn't require it to be coercive or abusive though to satisfy the kink. The people who watch too much porn honestly often have a bad idea of how that stuff works anyway. Free use can be hot as hell...but it's not actually free use - usually the boundaries are established up front and it's fun because it's unpredictable and one partner does…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 02:21 PM
5

Yup. Set in their ways and defiant about it while being upset that nobody wants them as they are and being upset about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 02:13 PM
5

IMO this is a pretty online take. Because of my social circles which span a lot of ages, I'm consistently in touch with people from 18/19 through 60. And being in my 30s, I'm still going out often enough to see that younger people are still going out, they're just not spending as much when they do, and for many of them "going out" is going to a friend's place and staying in. Yes, they're drinking less and smoking more, but that doesn't mean not drinking. They're certainly drinking less beer, how…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 06:44 AM
1

Because going out for drinks tells you a lot about a person. If they react negatively to drinks, and I've built up a good amount of rapport, either they're a teetotaler and we're incompatible, or they view alcohol so negatively that they're unlikely to enjoy drinking, which was also a dealbreaker for me personally. If they react upset about not spending more money on the date or not doing something fancy, then they're a gold digger, and I'm out. If they're interested/excited, I view that as some…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 06:24 AM
-1

Millenials and Gen Z women are overwhelmingly leftists 🤣🤣🤣 No, they really aren't. Get off Reddit. And liberal =/= leftist
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 11:54 PM
-1

Nah most people arent ideologues. Lots of people dont demand complete ideological agreement, including younger people. Only the Reddit-brained leftists and Trumpers who dont touch grass think ideological compliance is a prereq to dating. Most people only care about politics inasmuch as it affects them. Most liberal (not leftist) women would date a prochoice conservative who treats her as a full equal. And LOL definitely not in my "50s/60s"
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 05:50 PM
-1

Not true at all. It's very common for people to be pro-gun rights, pro-free speech, pro-gay marriage, anti-trans ideology in schools, anti-women in men's sports, pro-choice, anti-super PAC/citizens united, anti-equity/pro-equality, intolerant of antisemitism, intolerant of radical Islamism and pushes for sharia law, pro-parents rights, pro-funding education, pro-environment but anti-electrification mandate, pro-immigrant/anti-illegal immigrant, anti-crime, pro-punish the rapists and sex offender…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 03:39 PM
1

I'm in the same boat, other than the fact my parents are both Democrats. But my mother espouses conservative beliefs constantly and refuses to vote Republican except for the one local politician she mets and likes, because she "identifies as a Democrat." Leftists always accuse me of being right wing on Reddit. Anyone to the right of Lenin is "alt-right" to them. And then conservatives are shocked when I don't support them on anti-abortion, or on banning gay marriage, when I support women playing…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 03:34 PM
1

It isn't even true in the US. The politically obsessed are just trying to push it because to them, everything is an opportunity to push their agenda. That's why politics has encroached into literally every other facet of life. The root cause is super PACs. Take the money out to push this nonsense and the money isn't there to promote it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 03:18 PM
6

...Or they have common sense and realize that extreme positions are usually fucking stupid and when implemented at scale have led to some of the worst atrocities in human history.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 03:14 PM
1

FWIW (I haven't read the book) that framework could be useful for the guys who complain about the friendzone. The thing about accelerator and breaks is that there are two people in the relationship, so "the car metaphor" is a two person effort. Brakes apply when the other person is hitting the accelerator, and one person wants to slow down. The accelerator is something that either partner can hit, but which often falls on the man to try and hit because of internalized gender roles and the fact s…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:57 PM
–

Depends on how adventurous the sex she had with the one guy was, IMO. N count is a poor indicator of experience since someone who had bad sex with 15 people (and, say, 12 were ONS or flings that lasted less than a month) will likely be less experienced than someone who had wild sex that spanned a number of categories for 5 years within 2 relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:45 PM
–

Disagree. I think most of the guys who claim this are virgins themselves (or had 1 or 2 partners and it wasn't good), and are TERRIFIED if she's not a virgin she'll clock him as bad in bed in 2 minutes and lose all interest. I generally agree that being with virgins isn't preferred. I was with two (that I know of). There's a lot of reassurance that has to take place and communication has to be very...gentle. There's a certain fun in just diving into it with someone who's communicative, expressiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:43 PM
–

Reddit is not group therapy. The guys complaining about "empathy" here do it daily, and not once has it had to do with death in the family. It's always whining about not getting matches on dating apps, nobody wants to go out with him, or if women go out with him they don't immediately sleep with him. It's pathetic behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 03:30 PM
–

The men posting here seeking "empathy" are rarely seeking empathy about the loss of a loved one, so that's a disingenuous argument...and one that's better handled by a therapist or grief counselor anyway, not by strangers on the internet. They are, however, seeking "empathy" about feeling lonely because they've pushed people away to the point they have few IRL friends, and women don't want to date or sleep with them...which is why they're turning to online strangers to fill a "need" that has alr…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 03:15 PM
2

The problem with definitions of "slutty" is how a lot of guys define a "slutty" woman. Someone who habitually sleeps around with near-strangers, doesn't practice safe sex, cheats, etc. would likely be a terrible partner. However, someone who dresses sexually, who flirts a lot with lots of guys when she's single but not when she's in a relationship, and who enjoys sex but takes all the necessary precautions and doesn't cheat will often be presumed to be "slutty" by a lot of prudish guys while in …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:35 AM
3

Yes, they have.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:30 AM
–

Good comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 09:52 PM
–

I fail to see how this is relevant towards solving a problem though. Ultimately, empathy is about ego stroking and validation. You want your worldviews validated and sympathized with by strangers. But that doesn't make them go away. Why fixate on other people's feelings (particularly strangers), and not on taking tangible, measureable steps to try and improve your lot in life?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 09:49 PM
1

100% this. A lot of 'nice' people just don't understand that they're fundamentally boring, and the more they act like supplicants/servants to try and garner "a chance", the more offputting their infatuation is.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 05:37 PM
1

Very few people are being told "just be nice" in this day and age unless they are asking socially clueless parents or Boomers for advice. Almost everyone is told "be fun and interesting, and as attractive as you can be" and "put yourself out there" which means put yourself in settings where you meet the opposite sex and don't be afraid to make a move.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 05:36 PM
-1

Yup, like I said. Autistic level take. Enjoy continuing to be confused by everyday conversations by choice then, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 04:34 PM
-1

Autistic level take that does not mirror how language is actually used. Do you apply the same academic rigor to idioms?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 03:47 PM
1

Let me start by saying I agree with you. In a way, I'm playing devil's advocate here because I believe that being rude is justified in a lot of circumstances. And being non-agreeable without being rude is also justified in a lot of circumstances, which is where 'nice' people struggle. For example, most people agree that "fuck off" is rude. Why not say "leave me alone" instead? Now, I already know how I'd answer the question I posed above if it was posed to me, but I'm also not making a claim tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 03:44 PM
3

There is no way to make anything "fair" ethically in a sense of equal outcomes. That's literally the ideological misconception underlying socialism and communism (which often posits that an individual or party can deem what's "fair" better than a free market of millions of consumers free to make their own individual choices based on individual values). Everything is a meritocracy in a free society, where in the case of individual relationships (or transactions in business), each party to the tra…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 03:38 PM
2

Scenario: You're (pick a young but legal age where you were single) again. You're at a bar where you're a regular. Your friend went to the bathroom, so you're by yourself. You know the bouncers and bartenders well, and the staff is respectful and supportive. A guy propositions you, you say 'no thanks' and he keeps forcing the issue, trying to coerce you into giving you his number and agreeing to go out with him. You politely say you're not interested in dating, but this guy isn't taking no for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:53 PM
-1

The kind thing is to tell him because by telling him, you are sparing him from the social consequences to come from wearing a dumb outfit, and potentially allowing him to get his money back if he returns it before he's actually worn it. The 'nice' thing is to spare his feelings in the moment, even if it costs him far more in the long run, with the caveat that you're doing so because you know his feelings are going to get hurt, but you're afraid to be the one to do it. 'Nice' is agreeable, pliabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:49 PM
1

Scenario: You're (pick a young but legal age where you were single) again. You're at a bar where you're a regular. Your friend went to the bathroom, so you're by yourself. You know the bouncers and bartenders well, and the staff is respectful and supportive. A guy propositions you, you say 'no thanks' and he keeps forcing the issue, trying to coerce you into giving you his number and agreeing to go out with him. You politely say you're not interested in dating, but this guy isn't taking no for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:45 PM
1

If someone is consciously trying to be nice to people, are they not a good person who wants to make other people feel happy and comfortable? Not if they're doing it because they want something in return. It's like saying a homeless guy is nice because he wishes you "a good day sir" or holds the door at the supermarket open, then shakes his cup at you. "Nice" comes across as one of two ways, sometimes both: The guy likes her, and is trying to win her with "nice" behavior, which is something socia…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 02:24 PM
2

But when I actually look at how life works a large proportion of men are boring and nevertheless in stable relationships. Boring to you perhaps, but they likely share thing in common with their partners. I'm using "boring" not to describe a specific set of traits but how a guy is perceived. But it's not about a checklist of hobbies or traits. It's often about communication styles. Two different people can say the exact same thing about the exact same topic, and one is fun and interesting, and th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 06:20 PM
2

I did not say "all advice" is good. What I'm saying is: If a guy makes it to, say, 25 year old and hasn't figured out he's boring yet despite asking for advice and likely receiving some form of "stop people pleasing" and "be more fun and interesting to be around" from at least someone, somewhere along the way... ...while objectively having eyes and being able to see how others around him who are successful with women conduct themselves... ...then he's completely clueless socially. And if is his …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 06:07 PM
0

"Non problematic" dudes are not sperging out on the internet about dating. They're reaching out to trusted friends for unfiltered advice (which includes what I said, not what you said "BP commentators" are saying), and are often taking that good advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:47 PM
1

Nobody is telling them that. They're being told "be fun and interesting, and capable of socializing" and they're reacting with rage as if you'd told them "change your race, eye color, and last name...oh and grow a foot taller, while you're at it" instead
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:36 PM
0

Never said he had a heart of gold. I said that's how the abuse happens. It's an objective statement with no moral component. Ask an abused woman, and this is how she'll justify staying in the relationship with him. She thinks the good times justify the bad, or she has low self-esteem and doesn't think she can do better. That doesn't mean that a guy who bores the fuck out of her who doesn't abuse her is necessarily 'better' though - it's just a different kind of misery for her. And there's also n…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:35 PM
2

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:33 PM
1

Because an immoral man who makes her feel like she is having fun with him during the good times will tolerate bad times because she has poor boundaries and the good times seem "worth it" since she is used to abuse. The moral guy who is boring makes her feel nothing. There are no good times, and thus no reason to put up with anything to be with him. The entire time they're together is just boredom. The ideal guy makes her feel like she is having fun and works through bad times in non-abusive ways…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 05:29 PM
3

The "reality" is that the guy beating his girlfriend also makes her feel great at other times for reasons that have nothing to do with looks, and he might even apologize for abusing her, which will separate "the true him" from the abuser in the mind of someone who is susceptible to abuse. This is often more about poor boundaries or women who grew up in abusive homes where that sort of behavior was normalized for them, so they justify it with stuff like "everybody argues" or "he only gets that wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 04:53 PM
3

It boils down to how a man makes her feel. Some of that is looks, but it's hardly deterministic. The thing is the men calling other men "assholes" are projecting their own values onto those guys: Flirting = pushiness. Physical touch (even if wanted) = groping. Jokes = cruelty. Suggestive humor = lewdness. Drinking with her = 'taking advantage' of her. And if these guys are as miserable spoilsports as they act online, of course other men aren't going to treat them well, because nobody wants to go…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 04:31 PM
1

Public pools/lakes. Gyms with showers. Single-sex sports teams that use shared athletic facilities with showers. It's more common than just in purely competitive athletic settings.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 03:31 PM
–

I honestly think a big part of approach to sex acts is how they're presented. These jealous guys are giving the energy of "you did it with him, now do it with me," which is the opposite of the environment you need for enthusiastic sex. Sex needs to be take place in an environment where the vibe is fun, enthusiastic, and openminded...and that's why so many of these guys struggle. They have heavy, serious, literal, analytical conversations and expect to inspire passion. And when they get to lovema…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:17 PM
1

It's not "life saving" when the science shows that most people who have gender dysphoria eventually accept their biological sex without intervention, and when the suicide rate of trans people remains extremely high after transition, and when comorbidities such as autism are overrepresented within the trans population, suggesting an overlooked psychological component. In fact, there's no evidence that it reduces harm overall except for stated preference surveys where many of the participants were…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 03:04 PM
0

Many people who detransitioned are now on daily regimens of drugs and hormones they can never ever stop. They can't get their old bodies back. Their fertility is wrecked. They live with a much higher incidence of cancer risk. Many kids who took puberty blockers that were 'a safe pause button' now deal with side effects from it. Kids who started HRT and stopped deal with features that, as they matured and accepted their body, now stand in stark contrast with who they used to be and cause them to …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:48 PM
–

Alternatively, a lot of people who come from really broken circumstances become really strong/confident/badass/etc. What doesn't break them makes them incredibly strong, and they develop a really strong sense of self from having to look outside the home for role models. They become really discerning about people in their lives, and because they know how to operate (and win) within toxic environments, some may even get their jollies by putting toxic people in their place (though this can go too f…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 12:21 AM
1

I agree. They can try social transition for a few weeks, and if it doesn't work, there are easy off ramps. Medicalizing dysphoria with a quick path to unproven drugs that have other uses sterilizing sex offenders and removing reproductive organs and functions, or permanently altering them, is the equivalent of society handing a 16 year old with a learner's permit the keys to the car after a kegger. Especially when it's done with the implicit blessing of the authorities who are supposed to safegu…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 12:14 AM
1

The only problem with that is it doesn't work where there is showering. That's one of the biggest reasons sports gets such a focus in this debate. It's not like a public restroom where you can simply disappear into a stall, or if you have your children with you, can just disappear into the stall with them and give them even if other sexes are present and give them the privacy they need.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 12:07 AM
1

Yes, it's a diagnosis. And the growing scientific consensus is that the prescribed treatment for said diagnosis is inhumane and wrong, especially for children. Should we still lobotomize patients who present with certain forms of mental illness? What about electro-shock therapy. Because at one point, we did all of those things with the full backing of the medical community. Science is always evolving. We consider these treatments barbaric and wrong, and I suspect will one day look back at taking…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 12:05 AM
1

It's the same thing with "men's rights activists." I'm also fully against genital mutilation, think 50/50 custody should be the default in a divorce/split unless there is abuse, addiction, or some other safety hazard, and think it's great that alimony is barely awarded. Remarrying should end all alimony. And I'm against overworking culture, favor strong paternity leave benefits and childcare benefits for fathers, too. I think fathers who are lied to and who end up being legally fathers to childr…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 12:03 AM
2

But lost in all that improvement is being genuinely fun to be around, and learning to make a woman feel sexy. Compliments and favors don't necessarily make a woman feel sexy. How you act, can. A lot of these guys are stiff, "logical" bozo's, and then can't understand why women don't take the general politeness they feel in their presence (aka "friendship") as some kind of actual primal sexual attraction that they claim they want from women. They want something they do nothing to inspire back.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:59 PM
2

I agree that kids should not have any irreversible surgeries, but I disagree that trans ideology is responsible for my experiences. Trans ideology is why someone would even suggest trying out a "more masculine name" to someone like you in the first place. Children are impressionable. You see a lot of the posters here. If they thought pretending to be a woman would get them laid by women, half of them would probably try it, and all it would take is a few social media influencers posting periodica…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:56 PM
1

We don't have good protocols in place. The medical community has been outspoken about this. Ideologues have been running the show, and now the party's over because the science isn't there. People researching this manipulated the data to suit their ends, and covered up unfavorable data. Large scale longer term studies coming out with more academic rigor are revealing that the necessity of such interventions on teens and tweens was always overblown and not supported by science. You denied for year…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:52 PM
1

Glasses don't sterilize you, or cause you to have cancer. If you decide you don't like glasses, you can get contacts. If you decide you don't need to see that well, you can take them off. Removing healthy tissue is not a medically necessary procedure. Adults can do what they want. Children can't. Doctors don't grant vasectomies to 14 year old boys, or tie the tubes of 15 year old girls. For the exact same reason they shouldn't be doing sex reassignment surgeries on minors, but here we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:49 PM
1

Gay people have nothing to do with the trans agenda. Stop lumping gay people in this with this insanity. I fully support the right of gay people to marry who they want. That has nothing to do with opposing medical procedures on literal children who cannot consent to any other medical procedure without their parents. Also laughable because I'm not a boomer, and outside of the leftist echo chamber that is Reddit, the majority of people actually see these issues my way...including the scientific co…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:45 PM
1

That's a clear strawman. My opinions are my own. Even though I follow men's and women's sports, the only sport I've ever held season tickets to is a woman's sport. I've been a proponent of women playing sports for as long as I can remember. I view sports as something that's good for everyone because it instills teamwork, hard work, and teaches overcoming adversity. There are biological reasons why men vs. women isn't fair in many sports. That's no knock on the women who are athletes and deserve …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:43 PM
3

Would you say the same thing to someone who is anorexic? That the solution is stapling their stomach and extreme dieting, in spite of their biological reality?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:40 PM
3

No, YOU made a sensationalist argument about "genocide" because you've lost the argument on all rational grounds which is why the entire developed world is curtailing gender interventions on children. Children ARE being encouraged to embrace biology by virtue of the fact that such extreme and dangerous treatments are no longer available to them, and parents are no longer being excluded from what is going on with their own children at school and during healthcare appointments. It takes a special …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 05:59 PM
3

Encouraging people to embrace and accept their own biology is not genocide.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 05:55 PM
2

And somewhere, there is someone just like you, who tried out a masculine name, was encouraged to keep going, and made an irreversible life decision - possibly before they were old enough to truly understand what that meant - who now regrets that decision and in addition to all the crap you've been through, has to take a lifetime of medicines and hormones to stay alive, and would long to get back a body similar to the body that you have now. Feminism used to be about equality and breaking free fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 05:50 PM
1

It's funny how these arguments go. First it's "there's no harm" then there's "well, there's a little harm, but it's not a big deal." You're talking about kids. Should black scholarship orgs be forced to give scholarships to poor whites? "But why not it's just 5 people out of, like thousands, man?" - you probably. Trans people should have their own bathrooms. And competitive sports teams that are not coed should put people into their biological sex so that women have fair competition. Men's leagu…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 05:46 PM
2

You are talking about LITERAL CHILDREN. Children can't get Brazilian butt lifts. Hell, a child dying of cancer for whom every form of radiation or chemotherapy has failed cannot legally consent to participate in a clinical trial for an experimental cancer drug that might be their last shot without parental consent. Yet parents have been lied to and stripped of parental rights as doctors and the medical profession foolishly went whole hog into trans procedures on children while LYING about it. Fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 05:43 PM
5

Biological men taking athletic opportunities, roster spots, and scholarships away from women - many of which have only existed for a generation or two. Forcing women to open single-sex spaces, often to people who still have the original equipment, and often during puberty when many teenagers are extremely self-conscious about their bodies to begin with. Telling young tomboys that they might actually be boys and confusing them into mutilating their bodies, potentially robbing them of their future…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 04:34 PM
2

Unless a woman is sapiosexual, anti-intellectualism is kinda the point. 99% of this sub's complaints of "misunderstanding" women can be solved with the simple sentence; "what matters to a woman is how you make her feel" Does being around you make her feel fun and sexy and safe (safe in a protected, nonjudged way, not safe in a harmless way)? You're in. Most women (and men for that matter) hate sitting around having extremely dry, analytical conversations. Most people don't want to date squares.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 04:23 PM
1

They hate the sexual revolution because sex is seen as a big club that the incels aren't invited to, so they'd rather try to deny other men sex than try to get sex for themselves. It should be obvious from this sub the contempt they hold for sexually successful men / "bad boys" / "assholes" / "Chad" / "abusers" and all the other things they use to describe normal guys who women find fun and who can get laid. And they fetishize virgins because they have a deep and abiding fear that any woman who'…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 04:04 PM
1

Most people aren't people pleaser nice guys. The world is just fine. What would be better is if there were fewer people like that in the workforce. Bad managers seem to get an extremely long leash, especially in certain companies and in the public sector. Anyone who takes over and it results in mass departures should be targeted for immediate termination.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 02:56 PM
2

How is he being spineless? What is her personality? What is his? What are his interests? What are they talking about? Is there flirting, nothing? I understand what lemon is saying...it's really hard to give an example of where a guy needs to find his spine if he's just being 'spineless.' What, specifically, is he doing that's spineless, who is he, and who is she? Try giving an actual scenario or two.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 02:54 PM
18

They may be obsessed with women, and think about them all the time, but they almost never fixate on one woman unless she gives him a reason to. They go out, talk to lots of women, see who they vibe with, and move on quickly if a woman doesn't appear to be into them. They don't "put the pussy on a pedestal" and they don't approach those interactions from a supplicant position of effectively begging for something she has ("sex") that he wants some of.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 02:50 PM
2

Agreed. Who does "society" tell men they are? Who are they really? How do you know? "Providers." They're a paycheck, expected to self define by their job and career, to never say no to overtime. This is a formula for dogshit mental health. Society then tells them they're supposed to cope with this miserable, indentured-servant like existence with a steady diet of video games, gambling, pornography, alcohol, and drug use. Naturally, men spend more and more time on these things until they're doing…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 02:46 PM
1

The issue is that having sex is a two person activity. If one person sets the stage and the two of them can read off each other, it becomes a chain reaction and is very likely to happen quickly. If one person is inhibited, doesn't flirt, etc. the other person is not going to force the issue unless they're a borderline predator. So, put another way, for a lot of guys, it is a skill issue. You can't compare her treatment of two men unless those two men behave the same way. If one is inhibited and …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 02:31 PM
2

This. Tons of ugly people participate in hookups. It's often not about looks, but about being in the same spaces, vibes, openmindedness, discretion, confidence, and lack of inhibition. Hookups are ultimately about having fun and saying "fuck it", not about having serious discussions around "the meaning of sex" and obsessing over where one falls on a hotness scale in the leadup to it happening or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 02:13 PM
–

How is killing off a 7th century interpretation of religion's place in culture "killallmen?" You think the average Iranian guy is living it up with women because of sharia law? It's just a bunch of geezer mullahs taking all the young women for themselves. Why do you think Iranian men are also trying to overthrow their shitty theocratic government? 30,000 dead at the regime's hands...it wasn't all women protesting. And for anyone trying to claim moral high ground of Islamist theocracy, it's not a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 10:24 AM
–

I strongly believe that women should just stop procreating with Islamist (Islamist, not Islamic) men in general. They see y'all as property. For one, global terrorism will die out significantly in a generation. And it'll be hilarious to see the screeching of the far left when their support for women suddenly buts headlong into their antisemitic support for radical Islamism. Anyone who believes in a "global caliphate" can go fuck themselves. This isn't the middle ages, we tried Christendom, and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 09:37 AM
0

That's grifter nonsense that's not going to do anything except monetize these guys' desperation. I'm not a feminist. I just walk a very clear common sense middle ground, rooted in reality, that has terminally online people who have become so extreme convinced that I'm on the other side. "Alpha male gurus" exist to monetize male desperation. Plastic surgeons and height enhancements cost money. These guys are being sold a bunch of bullshit. That's not "labor" - it's grift. Would you rather lose 2 …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 08:52 PM
0

There are no "burnout levels of maximum effort" anywhere. All I see is guys thinking that spending hours on dating apps constitutes effort. That's not effort, and it's not improvement. It's like claiming that spending $100,000 on lotto tickets constitutes "focusing on career and earnings."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 08:02 PM
5

All of the Match Group apps are lazy and uninspired. If I was designing a dating app: It would have strict filters for age, religion, race, has children, wants children, food preferences, alcohol preferences, smoking, and distance. You would be able to answer each question for yourself, then set allowable answers, and only match with people who your answers to the prompts meet all of their allowable answers AND all of their answers to the prompts meet all of your allowable answers...with prompts…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 06:05 PM
2

She finds you fun to be around because the two of you laugh together and there is lightheartedness and joy in the air when you are together. If the mood is heavy and serious, even if the overall tone is positive, that isn't conducive to attraction. Also, if you are pedestalizing women, that dynamic is toxic to attraction. You have to treat her like a peer, not like a superior.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 05:00 PM
2

The 94% of men who do not become incels overwhelmingly do not marry the first woman to ever show them interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:59 PM
2

So stop pedestalizing them. Women are just people with different anatomy. They want to have fun, laugh, and have enough money to support an interesting lifestyle. Most aren't aspiring billionaires or models. They don't want to date their "fans", and they don't want some guy who's going to treat her like a servant treats his master. Sure, they'll accept fans as social media followers (most people will), but it doesn't mean anything. They don't want to be bored, they don't want to be pedestalized,…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:51 PM
2

Exactly my point. So you sat around waiting for a woman to "greenlight" you. Did you put yourself in places where you could organically meet a lot of women? Did you talk to a lot of women, without the pretense of dating/a relationship, to get to know them, decide if you liked them, etc.? When you found a woman you found attractive and liked her personality, did you try to spend time with her to see if she at least enjoyed your company? If she enjoyed your company, did you try to introduce light …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:47 PM
2

Yeah, get off the internet. 1% of men? That's delusional. Only about 6% of men become incels.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:42 PM
1

For sure. What makes it most ridiculous is when they do so while replying purporting to be the "rAtIoNaL" gender. Plenty of men use that label to try and cover up some very un-rational words and behaviors. But pre-emptively labeling an emotional reaction logical, doesn't actually make it so. Someone who understands logic knows that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:26 PM
0

The only people who might believe this are people who've never actually experienced real attraction. What you're "settling" for with AI is just a poorly designed alternative designed to mirror you. Flirt, it flirts back. Get mad at it, and it argues with you. It doesn't bring its own thoughts or personality to the equation, which is why AI "friends/partners" with poor safeguards have been observed telling people to commit crimes, harm themselves, etc...because they're just mirroring those people…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:11 PM
4

What have you done to further that project besides hope and pine for it to happen, then give up and look for inferior alternatives like AI, when that didn't work out? The entire tone of your argument is "women are so annoying, but I want one". Which simply begs the question, if you find them unpleasant to be around, and you find relationships with them unpleasant, why do you want one around?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:03 PM
0

"Capitalism" isn't devaluing families. Socialism is. Which is why they're always trying to brainwash kids, separate them from families, and push divisive nonsense, etc. Because communities with strong nuclear families, strong social ties, and a belief that they have a lot of freedom in free markets that exist to meet both majority and minority preferences...don't really go for socialism.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:44 PM
2

That's the reason for not trying: psychological safety. If they never "tried" or they "gave up," they never have to admit they failed. It's always someone else's fault. They're competent enough to do it, "of course," but...what is it they always say? "The juice isn't worth the squeeze." It's the human brain going into self-preservation mode. People who embrace discomfort as a part of growth would never.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 02:17 PM
14

Same. It alternates between I'm "Chad" because I happen to be 6' tall, and I'm a "beta simp" because I actually enjoy my wife's company and treat her accordingly. Either way it's just excuses for them to stew in their misery, downvote away, and cling to their antisocial and misanthropic views of humanity. I really believe some of them think the 94% of us men who aren't incels just get together in the forest every Friday night with 100% of the women, have wild sex orgies that last hours, and then…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 02:15 PM
–

"online dating apps" - some incel, probably
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 01:21 PM
15

I either get both, or I don't want to pair off with someone for life for anything less than both.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 09:49 PM
–

Aww, the wannabe big strong man wants to throw big insults around. Must be exhausting trying to impress all the other big strong men so they'll like you, leading an inhibited boring lifestyle that completely repulses women. Sounds exactly the type of scowling, gymcel type bullshit I'd expect some bullied kid who decided to squander his adulthood on trying to look "tough" long after the world moved on because you're still bitter about grade school. Then - let me guess - 5 minutes later it's going…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 09:09 PM
3

The irony is that I've never heard women say they prefer "dominant" men. It's always men arguing that. And yet I've never met a woman who preferred me (or any other guy for that matter) be "dominant" as they usually find it obnoxious and full of insecurity. Nobody likes being around someone so hypercompetitive they have to constantly put other people down and prove themselves. It's like little brother syndrome. The dudes who pull are confident natural leaders, and they don't have to "dominate" a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 08:59 PM
2

Okay, so if she chooses to cook for you knowing you can cook, is that sexist? You really think a dude holding doors for his girlfriend legitimately thinks she can't open them herself? Really think he thinks she doesn't know how to buy her own flowers, can't open her own jars, go into the pantry and get the stepladder to get that thing down from the high shelf that he can reach standing up?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 08:56 PM
3

Jesus, you people are ridiculous. Is it "benevolent sexism" to have sex with an enthusiastic woman because you wouldn't have sex with an enthusiastic man? Where I come from, that's just called being straight. OF COURSE straight people aren't going to treat men and women the same. That said, simping for women is unattractive behavior and women hate it. But most women do enjoy the feeling of safety that exists when a bigger, stronger man who the two of them are attracted to each other is with her,…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 08:51 PM
2

"Conservative by their behaviors." Most heterosexual couples feature heterosexual partners. AKA the man wants to be romantically, sexually, and socially connected to his partner. So, no, he's not going to be some LGBTQ guy doing LGBTQ things. Does he believe gay people should be allowed to make up their own minds about who they marry and have the state recognize those marriages? Good enough for most "liberal" women. Most people are sane about transgenderism and don't hold woke BS leftist positio…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 08:48 PM
4

1-5 is not virgin status. Are you new here? Because most of the guys whining about how women "only want guys with experience" admit to being 30+ year old virgins. Not "1-5 count" guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 08:15 PM
4

Men with 1-5 body count are doing fine. They're not the ones self-flagellating over not knowing if they'll be good in bed and obsessively fretting like worrywarts over her "comparing" him to her exes who weren't virgins. They've had sex before, and it was likely decent to good, so there's nothing for them to worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:54 PM
5

Most people with sexual experience don't want to date people with none. Inexperienced =/= no experience. You ever been with a virgin? It's kinda lame. You have to talk her through everything, constant reassurances. Starting things and stopping midway because they get nervous and want to try something else but can't put it into words and don't really know their own preferences or what feels good. It's not sexy. I had patience for it in college. If I ever unexpectedly found myself single again, I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 06:47 PM
2

The problem I have these days is that people dont rely on observation enough. They fail to just go outside and make assessments for themselves and instead rely on a myriad of "research" and "experts" they consume online and often paralyse themselves into inaction. True observation is neutral, complete, detailed, and objective. Like you said, most observation these days isn't real observation. If you were studying human behavior, you'd study all of it. A lot of guys go out with manosphere ragebai…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 01:59 PM
5

I mean, that's pretty good advice for life, right? Most boys learn this as kids. Sometimes the best thing to do is roll your eyes, laugh at the bully, go "sure buddy" and walk away...and quietly ostracize the bully. The worst thing to do is sperg out and show that the bully hurt you. And if the bully puts hands on you, you fight like a rabid dog, you get your pound of flesh, and then the bully either gives up or picks a weaker target. You DEFINITELY don't stand there and whine for him to stop. Y…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 01:40 PM
4

To men who've likely never been valued for their looks, and who come to pedestalize sex because they've never had it...the idea of wanting to be valued for their body probably feels like the pinnacle of existence. These guys aren't pleasant to be around, and they struggle even with male friendships, which is why they have nothing better to do than try to bring people down online, and have just as many negative things to say about successful men, too. So, their behavior isn't just limited to wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 01:32 PM
2

I didn't imply any of that. I said the behavior is unattractive. That's what women care about. Only other men who've internalized grifter nonsense about masculinity care about petty power squabbles in social settings. A scowling guy "competing" with other men in social settings is also unattractive to women - your hypothetical "alpha"...just comes across as an insecure tryhard dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 08:21 AM
3

I have never cheated. I've had opportunities to, but never acted on what was clear interest on their part. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't considered it, but the reality is that's one of those intrusive thoughts that as soon as it enters the brain gets violently rejected...because I'd never want to take a risk of hurting my wife, and any notions of attraction or wondering what someone might be like immediately evaporate in the face of hurting my favorite person in the entire world. And before my…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 08:08 AM
2

I never said they were unmanly. I said they were unattractive. What makes a man manly or not is in his chromosomes and between his legs.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 08:19 PM
2

You seem awfully concerned about my motivations for someone who doesn't really seem to have a counterpoint other than "being short, bald, or ugly is less attractive than being tall, with a healthy hairline, and a good face." No one ever said that wasn't true. But being short bald or ugly isn't the death sentence blackpillers claim it is, and maybe if they spent more time being and having fun instead of bitching about their "genetics" it would be more apparent. Because many bald, short, ugly guys…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 08:05 PM
2

Those women are there to meet rare handsome men who show up or enjoy themselves seperately from dating and romance. Telling on yourself. So you're admitting you can't show them a good time. Most of my hobbies are better online regardless. And there it is. I take care of my special needs elderly mother as well. I wash her, cook for her daily due to the fact my grandmother is also no longer at capacity to take care of herself so I pay for a nice nursing home for her. Okay, but that's one thing. Yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 08:02 PM
5

I challenge you to present even one source that proves a significant spike for men at that age. And I'm not talking about saying that the rate of complications went from something like 2% to 3% and calling that a 50% increase, because the overall rate would still be negligible. It would have to be a change in rate from the twenties to late 30s that shows a significant plateau in fertility. There are numerous sources. I'm not going to do free research for you. Literally all you have to do is Goog…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 07:52 PM
2

I'm bored at work. This sub is an excellent way to pass time...and every so often a guy on his way to inceldom will see the light in what I'm saying and get away from something that's going to lead him down a path that will leave him as frustrated and bitter as the worst of the posters here. IMO that's a win win, regardless of your "thoughts" on the matter of how I choose to spend my free time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 05:05 PM
1

If you have a 9-5, Monday to Friday, job AND make good money...you're way ahead of the game. Very few jobs actually stay in that box. Most either expect some degree of "on call", expect you to come in early or stay late (especially to meet deadlines), expect you to cover other people's shifts or hours, require weekends, or require travel that often exceeds the limits of that time. And if they don't, they often don't pay you well enough. Most of us would LOVE to only work 40-45 hours a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 04:53 PM
2

Or, alternatively, I'd rather "Debate" the topic by replying in comments...rather than make a whole ass post and have to reply to 95 geniuses posting "waah waah looks" as a top level reply lest I be seen as "not engaging with my own debate post" so as to not waste my time and be able to have more substantive discussion around same. And because doing that also allows others seeing my comments to put them in the context in which they're most relevant, which is refuting common manosphere talking po…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:52 PM
8

Specifically talking about men, how is your claim true for a man who have maintained great physical shape up to age 35? Noticeable sperm decline wouldn't happen till a much later stage of a man's life. Sperm starts declining significantly by age 38. After age 35, sperm banks won't even take donor sperm from men. The science is pretty clear on this. 50 year old men having kids are far more likely to have kids with birth defects, chromsome problems, placenta problems, and cause risks to their part…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:40 PM
2

Things can absolutely be a "woman's fault." But an entire sex isn't conspiring to meet in the forest with attractive men for wild orgies where in their post nut clarity they figure out all sorts of demented and cruel ways to keep people like you sex deprived and miserable. Working and working out is baseline...everyone does it. It doesn't make you interesting or social or give you things to talk about. It's not a stereotype...replace gaming with Netflix, social media, or TV, and it's the same pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:21 PM
2

Because it's not a concept and a framework for understanding things. It's incel/manosphere cope so that unassertive types can try on being more assertive and feel like they're becoming a "real man" (quotes for sarcasm). But if they never fix the underlying socialization and communications, they're just going to be seen as assholes, and "rejected again", and inevitably blame their "looks" and start repeating blackpilled BS when the solution was staring them in the face the whole time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:13 PM
2

And yet failurely means even less insight. Talk to 5 successful people and 1-2 might be able to help you. Talk to 5 failures, and none can help you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:11 PM
1

Okay, so hobbies yes...all the other things no. That's where the struggle is, then. You should be able to answer "yes" to most of the things I asked, for best results.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 09:41 AM
2

A baseball coach who was a terrible MLB player was still a fucking outstanding baseball player overall. Even a college or minor league player who never made the bigs is an elite, top 1% athlete. All of them achieved success for years, possibly even decades, before either running up against injury, the limits of their own body, or super-elite athletes who knocked them out of serious competition and sent them to early retirement. Meanwhile, when it comes to sex and relationships, you guys are aski…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 09:17 AM
2

Because lots of short men have girlfriends and wives they're attracted to. You know who doesn't? Tall, fit guys who have all the traits I listed above. The traits I listed above are absolutely lethal on attraction. They will torpedo any attraction she has. Try it. Take a 6'5" Chad, have him talk to a girl. Have him tell her, "You're beautiful. I would consider you for sexual relations" in a monotone tone, without smiling. If she doesn't immediately run...have him tell a story. About something re…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 09:14 AM
2

"Alpha" and "beta" aren't real concepts...they're just a simplified, discrete choice framework for understanding personality the same way that "1-10" is a simplified discrete choice framework for understanding looks that appeals to autists who need to quantify and categorize everything, and are used casually by people to convey broad ideas more generally without much further thought. Even the scientist who used "alpha" and "beta" to speak about wolf behavior in packs has rescinded his claims as …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 09:05 AM
22

I never wanted someone submissive. I always wanted a hot, sexy, confident badass who kicks ass, takes names, has high standards for the men in her life, who absolutely demolishes every task she sets out to do in her life, who has an inexplicable combination of a soft spot for and extreme attraction to me, and who wants the same things I want out of life and shares enough of the same interests to have commonality but enough different ones (without dealbreakers) that we're different and independen…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 08:53 AM
2

Sure it does. "Fumbling" is absolutely a thing, and understanding how you fumbled something prevents you from doing it again. Improving involves learning how it works and learning how to express onself properly in dating. Improving in dating is much more than just going to the gym and getting a new haircut and some clothes...which is why so many people who "improve" (quotes for sarcasm) get upset when it doesn't work. They didn't necessarily improve at the skill (though for some the improvements…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 07:22 PM
4

Most people do not need therapy to identify good and bad trends in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 05:02 PM
2

I'm speaking from experience here. I can't tell you how many times "if you ever want me to wingman for you, let me know," has turned into "can you go talk to those girls and see if they'd be willing to hang out with me?" Or if, when they do lead and I'm there to observe/wingman, they don't initiate any flirting at all. What exactly are they "trying?"
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 04:09 PM
3

If something doesn't work then usually you can identity what is the problem You can do that with dating too. But in the aggregate, not with an individual woman who already sees or doesn't see you a particular way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 04:02 PM
3

Putting in more effort does not work perfectly in any other field. It will give you better results than not, but it does not guarantee you become a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, doesn't guarantee you make it to the big leagues, to Broadway, to the Alvin Ailey Dance Company, to #1 in Billboard, doesn't even mean you won't be laid off if cuts are coming.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 04:01 PM
2

I think it generally means that men who are upfront with their intentions and get a chance are often boring and predictable in how they attempt to court women, and it becomes tiresome. For instance, let's say they hit it off somewhere with a woman. They have a great conversation. The energy is good. He gets her number. Then he goes and does something formulaic: He doesn't text her the next day, he texts her the next night (signals a booty call)...she loses interest. They vibed over a particular …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:58 PM
3

You (royal you for incels) likely wouldn't be gaming and gooning 6-10 hours a day and wasting 2-4 hours watching manosphere ragebait if you had a social circle full of friends pulling you out into the world to go do things with. So it isn't really the life you want, is it? And if it is, then you should be happy...why do you need a woman then, or friends, to pull you away from what it is that you claim you really want to be doing?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:46 PM
5

Cars don't just explode for no reason. The good driver also knows about vehicle maintenance. "Someone who drove a very safe route with no issues" isn't a good driver. Just like a virgin who married their first gf and wound up in an objectively shitty relationship isn't a good source of relationship advice, nor are they "successful" just because they found, well, someone I guess. The problem is, figuratively, y'all don't know what makes a good driver, so you listen to manospherians who've built a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:43 PM
2

Personality tests don't mean anything re: extroversion, especially considering they're an inherently introverted way of assessing them ("tests"). Do you get invited to mixed-company parties? Are you out with your friends at least two nights a week, including sometimes weeknights? If you go out in public, are you a regular anywhere? Do you have multiple friend groups? Do you have hobbies you pursue independently, not just to meet women but because you enjoy them, that give you other things to tal…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:36 PM
3

The value is minimal compared to what someone who has succeeded will tell you. Consider learning to drive from a bad driver. They'll be able to tell you HOW they crashed, but not necessarily WHY they crashed. The good driver who can tell you how they avoid crashing is going to give you much more useful information (and actual tactics that work for them) and faster.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:28 PM
4

For the exact same reason you wouldn't ask the deadbeat at the racetrack who's got $200,000 of gambling debt how to pick a horse. He'll give you the same advice that got him where he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:18 PM
3

Politics are often irrelevant to attraction except among extreme ideologues. For most people, "leftism" is disqualifying because it's extreme...despite Redditor efforts to paint it not so. Most women lean left, but emphasis is on lean. Contrary to what Reddit consensus seems to think, there are a "surprising" amount of women (I say surprising sarcastically because normal people know this is common) who are pro-choice, want legal equality, hate being catcalled and harrassed, want their gay/lesbia…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:16 PM
5

False. The lived experiences of friends can provide cautionary tales, and in some cases can be exemplary/role models for what to look for. It was also helpful to frame my own relationships in the context of those other relationships. Not having that context is often how guys can end up in shitty relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:07 PM
7

Yup. And half the time it's just wOmEn JuSt Go FoR mOnEy even though the two dates they've been on in the last 15 years they "insisted" on paying and still didn't even get so much as a good night hug or kiss. Meanwhile, the extremely heavy, serious conversations they have on dates which are the opposite of fun couldn't POSSIBLY be a culprite, amirite?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 02:51 PM
4

But doesn't that contradict your OP? Maybe I'm misreading, but it sounds like you're saying that sexually successful men are no closer to understanding women's attraction than 40 year old virgins are, and I don't agree with that. I do think the list I gave above is a pretty good summary of where most guys who struggle are going wrong - doesn't mean they'll do all of the things on it, but it's one of those things where the more of them a guy does, or the more extreme-ly he does any one, he's maki…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 02:10 PM
2

I note a double standard in telling men to solve their dating problems with learned confidence. It actually sort of works, but the typical person saying this means something quite hypocritical: “Be confident, but still follow the unspoken social script I’m comfortable with.” There's the problem. Because confidence and social compliance don't go together in conflict. Confident people say what they believe and there aren't any real rules saying when you should be tactile or blunt. How does a guy w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:58 PM
5

The women putting down other women who show genuine attraction to men are just the female equivalent of the idiot men who sit idly in the corner at parties calling other men "gay" or "assholes" because they're dancing and flirting with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:36 PM
7

This is the answer, and man to man, it doesn't make you a pussy. It makes you human. It's fucking amazing snuggling on the couch, getting my scalp scratched, getting a backrub, and falling asleep holding her, with her butt in my lap. It really is the little things, all of them. Checking in when I'm having a shitty day. Going out to get something to eat for yourself and bringing me something you thought I'd like that shows thought went into it without me asking. Slapping my butt and giggling when…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:26 PM
9

Any man who's maintained multiple social circles over a period of time through adolescence, young adulthood, and entering middle age can absolutely see that what's attractive to women does vary by women. But what's unattractive generally doesn't. There are certain recurring themes that show up in the guys who are either chronically involuntarily single or who can't keep a woman: Lack of social skills Self-centered talking patterns Does not put himself in situations to meet women Extreme nervousn…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:14 PM
2

While this is true in the sense of women would have less "noise" to sort through (since many men either telemarket/panhandle aka randomly hit on women they find attractive for no other reason than finding them attractive, or simp/orbit women they find attractive for no other reason)... ...the looks standard must still be met. All it means is that an 8 with a personality is better than a 10 without. But guys with normal to high libidos are never going to sign themselves up to make love all the ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 12:55 PM
2

The military is more open to women because women fought for it. Get outta here with this narrative that men allowed women to leave their protective status because it was safe for them to do so now... Women straight up fought against men for their right to die along side men, let's give them credit for that instead of diminishing them. I agree with everything you wrote there. Except one thing. Yes, all of that is because of women fighting to join the military and proving they can handle combat as…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:53 AM
2

"Society" cant tell you how to live your life absent changes in the law, so who the fuck cares? Its like listening to a nosy neighbor...just tell them butt out and live your life? Why are you voluntarily giving randos control over you?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:47 AM
6

This. I think this is a case of different words meaning different things to different people. "Companionship" to most people = my favorite person and best friend who I also want to fuck. I think the op meant it in the context of accompanyment aka "he exists so at least im not alone" which sounds shitty, and i dont know many women who arent genx or older who paired off that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 03:45 AM
2

Sounds like you just dont enjoy sex So then dont cry about a dead bedroom then.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 11:04 PM
5

Sounds like the men with those women should have more self-respect then. They sound absolutely abhorrent to be around, let alone have kids with.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 08:10 AM
4

They're low libido prudes who dress conservatively, aren't funny, don't have social lives or friends, and don't speak?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 07:41 AM
8

Because those traits, absent a personality, are boring. It's like saying a woman is a good cook and homemaker, but she barely speaks, is sexually a low libido prude, dresses conservatively even in the home, lacks a sense of humor, and prefers to read fairly novels by herself with 90% of her free time. Her being "nice" just simply isn't enough. Nice guys fundamentally don't understand that this is how they come off to women: as boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 07:16 AM
6

"Protection" is about how you make a woman feel in your presence: Does she feel you have her back, and can actually reasonably help her if she's threatened by other men? "Providing" has been irrelevant for at least 3 generations except among aspiring tradwives, so other than that, only foreign men...or men who either willingly stick their heads in the sand...or men who cling to that role because they have nothing else going for them...still cling to that paradigm. Most women want an equal partne…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 07:12 AM
2

What makes a man a "protector" is whether a woman feels safer with him or without him. That's literally it. It's all feelings. A lot of people, particularly in civilized societies, are fortunate enough to never need protection from any major threats in life. The closest they come is an "uncomfortable situation". However, some men will absolutely fight to the death to protect their woman or their kids...because a life without those people in their life is worse than risking death to save them. So…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 07:01 AM
1

"Woke DEI initiatives" have nothing to do with women being in the military or not. There is no reason taxpayers should be funding transgender treatments for "soldiers" who are incapable of serving while undergoing treatments they began after enlisting. There is no reason military should be enduring cultural struggle sessions, be forced to march in pride parades, or attend ideological seminars at the expense of training and preparing for their actual purpose, which is combat and strategic operati…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 06:54 AM
4

Never kissed, held hands, or gone on a single date by 25? Yes, I'd consider that socially stunted. Not unfixable, but he's got some catching up to do. Same guy at 35? Probably cooked. Like, what've you been doing for the last 15 years bro?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 06:42 AM
3

Flirting isn't serious. Just go do it. Second worst thing that can happen is she ignores it - she's either socially incompetent, or she's not interested, either way stop. Worst thing that can happen is she unexpectedly calls you out on it, then you can either respond with deflection or deny (because flirting always has plausible deniability). AKA her "Are you flirting with me?" You: either "What? No...wait, you're serious? (laugh)" or "What makes you think that?" Either way, life goes on. If she…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 06:38 AM
3

The thing is, as you said in another comment in this thread, just because someone goes to parties doesn't make someone fast and loose sexually. There are plenty of guys and women who act the part - they dress in ways that suggest they're sexually uninhibited, they go to parties, they get drunk, they talk to the opposite sex, even sometimes flirt...but they aren't sealing the deal. Guys used to call these women teases - which in some cases was true...they liked the attention but didn't want to go…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 06:26 AM
2

I definitely do not think this. I think a demure, "submissive" woman would be boring AF. I think this is repeated as a trope online, though, for several reasons: Insecure people often need to broadcast their preferences to seek affirmation from others. Insecure men are more likely to be threatened by assertive women, so they'll loudly proclaim their preference for the opposite. These are the types who view relationships as a power struggle between the partners, as opposed to collaboration agains…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 06:22 AM
3

While I generally agree with the OP's premise, part of becoming an adult is simply saying "fuck what society is telling me, I'm going to do what makes me happy", within reason of course, and with some kind of logical framework around ultimately getting what one wants (which means ineffective strategies won't stick around long since they don't achieve desired results). Letting other people tell you how to live will ALWAYS make you deeply unhappy because there is an army of people always willing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 06:15 AM
2

Only the autistic would argue that nonverbal communication (tone, body language) aren't a major part of communication. The same thing can be received completely differently based on nonverbal cues, and it offers insight into context and the person saying it's true motivations for saying it. And even phrasing matters. The example of the guys that still whine about "nice guys finish last" nearly 30 years after it was widely available on all forms of the internet that what's meant by "personality" …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 12:18 PM
–

I play hockey with those guys. Everyone knows how tall everyone is.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:20 AM
–

And most men who have standards (read: not the simps openly spewing their desperation all over this forum daily) would also agree that most women aren't attractive to date. Seriously, go stand at a bus stop, look at all the adult women, and think about how many are actually attractive to you. Most aren't even going to be in your general age range, especially if you're a younger dude, and lots of women have funny faces, are obese or other things that men tend to find unattractive while others are…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 11:53 PM
–

A "good personality" = fun to be around, not just "nice." That's the part a lot of guys seem to miss, joke or no joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 11:48 PM
–

All of them met each other in their 30s. Hairdresser was mid 30s, the dancer probably met her husband right around 30. This is all recent, all of them within the last 5 years. It's also very uncommon, regardless of dating history, for people to get married early here. I met my wife at 25, and got married at 28, and that was on the earlier side of things. Most of my friends married in their early 30s, and one with two kids and a house he bought with his gf still hasn't tied the knot yet. The danc…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 11:30 PM
–

It happens both ways. Hell, one of my wife's dancer friends - fit, great body, cute face, etc. ended up with a short, balding dude with weird teeth and an odd-shaped hairy face. They have a kid together. She adores him on social media. He doesn't have a particularly noteworthy job. Her hairdresser - tall, attractive, confident, total badass, looks 10 years younger than she actually is - is dating a single dad with grey hair. They both like metal. What matters is whether the two people involved f…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 11:07 PM
–

Just go and stand in a Wal-Mart for, like, 20 minutes and look at all the people and their kids walking around. Tons of short, bald, ugly, ethnic, hirsute, poor, broke, and whatever other kind of guy is always labeled "unfuckable" here by incels...walking around with women and biological kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 10:46 PM
2

So stand up for yourself. Raise your voice at her if you have to, and call out her bullshit. Stop mewling, and then when she insults you, you just take it, and then go turn online to whine about it. Negative reinforcement is a thing. Stand up for yourself. You haven't lost the argument until you concede defeat...act miffed, don't let her get the last word in, etc. If she's that shitty, let her hear it. And then YOU dump HER. Have some agency in your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 10:39 PM
-6

100% this. It's ridiculous how flirting with a woman who is enjoying it, and initiating wanted physical touch with her, is seen as "asshole" or "womanizing" behaviors from the creeps leering at her from the corner and wallowing in their own bitterness. Telling jokes is "mean," even if they're not serious or not at anyone's expense, or if they're at someone's expense the person isn't there. Treating the women nicely, but standing up to simps and telling them to buzz off is "he's a jerk to other m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 09:37 PM
2

I am not talking about being with someone you find genuinely unattractive or annoying. I am talking about going for only what is the most popular, handsome, etc etc choice, dismissing people who are at your own level and may be good matches. But that's just the thing though. A relationship is a very close connection. It's not just seeing your buddies for a few hours once or twice a week, and occasionally texting. It's living with someone. It's staying overnight in their space, and them staying o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 09:29 PM
11

This. There's a bunch of quasi-communist thinking in this sub around "leagues" and "looksmatching" like the government should be pairing people off, and that's fucking dystopian. It's almost like their autistic brains can't handle the exceptions, where someone does pull someone outside of what THEY think that person should be able to have, and they know how stupid arguing for government or anyone else to be the arbiter of their "system" sounds, so they promote the idea as if its something that e…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:29 PM
8

This sounds like what someone who's never experienced a bad relationship would say because they're pedestalizing the idea of any relationship at all. It really sucks. Imagine being with someone you find unattractive and annoying, let alone having to "provide" for them, or support the more unsavory aspects of their character such as addiction, abuse, extreme laziness, etc. That's what "settling" is. And I'd rather be alone, and have my options open, than be "locked down" by someone I can't stand …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 04:18 PM
22

This is the answer. Sounds like he just wasn't all that interesting. And overcommitting comes off as desperation, which makes one even more unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 07:56 AM
–

No incel/blackpill/woe-is-me content is a rule on this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 07:12 AM
2

Because my empathy is meaningless to the guy in that situation...why waste my mental energy having it, when it doesn't benefit him or me? The sympathy of other men isn't going to help that dude get more confident or better at flirting. Some of us choose to be solution oriented about life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 02:09 AM
1

And my flair shows that I'm not bluepilled, so I wouldn't agree with a purely bluepilled take. There are clear reasons for his struggle, and they are things it is on him to address. He failed because he never addressed the underlying worthlessness and low-self esteem, which causes one to make sub-optimal choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 08:20 PM
3

I don't have empathy who use politics to try to justify why they should be sexually desired. He has severe self-esteem issues and is therefore atypical. That's his reason for struggling. "Empathy" doesn't change his situation. Accepting reality and then working to correct his issues, does. It's funny - such a take would have been viewed as quite blatantly red pilled a few years back, but nu-Redpill just seems to want "empathy" and "pity" more than anything else. Would you rather fix the problem …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 08:19 PM
6

Being a "leftist" isn't the aphrodisiac that performatively feminist men think it is. Leftism is still a wildly unpopular ideology, and people who make politics core to their identity often make for grating partners because they can't tolerate disagreement. So this isn't the argument for "he did everything right" that you think it is. Also, "closing" is a skill. Just being able to socialize means that you'll meet women, it doesn't mean things will go anywhere. You still need to learn how to flir…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 02:14 PM
–

The only thing that's necessary is that any judgments for child support require a paternity test that a prospective father has the ability to waive should he prefer to not find out. A positive defense to same would be mutual consent to IVF using donor materials (kept on hand at a fertility clinic). Damages would strictly be financial in nature as the "not-father" is going to be exonerated from child support and allowed to separate from the mother and his not-child without any financial obligatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 02:09 PM
–

My honest answer to that is that I don't know. I mean, you could extrapolate to anyone who's truly undesirable and you'd face a similar conundrum - people with disabilities for example. But my take is that most people (including incels) are average (not just definitionally). And a lot of times when incels post face pics, they're perfectly average looking. There are a lot of things that can be improved just from getting to a healthy weight (fixes face shape in many cases), from a good haircut/fac…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 05:20 PM
–

I find mainstream mens clothes very boring, not interesting to me. (Clean cut styles are an total turn-off). I wish more women would say this openly, because I've found it to be true as a guy. Stuffy, boomer-coded, business casual outfits or the suit look are actually a turnoff for most women who would rather see guys' bodies instead of them all covered up in Victorian-era garb. Calves, forearms, hands/wrists...all the things that are the opposite of business wear and wristwatches.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 05:08 PM
–

This is an extremely dumb take because it ignores age. The overwhelming majority of people are not attractive to the overwhelming majority of people. Only a desperate person would say otherwise. And that's before you get into specific preferences, styles/compatibility, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:40 PM
18

I have almost never seen women give advice that says be friends first. Most women just want to build basic rapport and then if he flirts with her and she reciprocates, want him to ask her out. They do not want to invest months into a supposed friendship only to find out the guy liked her all along but was too scared to ask her out
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 04:07 PM
3

100%. This is an autistic-level-sounding take by OP. You say "I like sex" by flirting and building tension, and initiating physical touch when the flirting is reciprocated...not by getting your serious on and presenting your 3000 word PPD dissertation "Coitus to combat avoidants: The importance of early sex in relationships, a longitudinal study of feelings of self worth based on timing of intercourse in heterosexual relationships" at a first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 01:22 PM
2

FWIW this is true of both genders. You can't "moral" your way to someone's attraction. There are guys who would want relationships, but someone who's giving off inhibition is going to struggle far more than someone who isn't, regardless of whether or not that's your intention.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 07:24 PM
2

Sure, but he needs to be on the floor and dancing if she's going to come up to him and dance. You think the incels in this sub complaining about alcohol, parties, dancing, bars, and clubs are doing that much even?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 04:05 PM
5

Boring woman and dry texting are not related imo. Sure it is. Even if a woman is entertaining multiple guys, it's not hard for her to maintain fun, flirty texts...unless - wait for it - she's boring. And quite a few aren't. A lot more people than you'd think are dry texters, and a lot more people than you'd think are boring. Hell, I still remember going to a party in my early 20s, meeting a cute girl there who seemed kinda shy, and she literally had nothing she could talk about except her job an…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 03:14 PM
2

A woman is not going to grind on a guy at the club, if he's not dancing with her. The guys complaining about club girls going for "hot guys" while them and their wallflower friends sit around staring at the women in the club and talking about which ones are "hot" and which ones "they'd fuck" (as if they have a choice) are never going to the be the ones women approach at clubs. I had a few friends in the larger friend circle who used to behave like this. They were a downer to hang out with at bar…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 02:58 PM
3

Real interest looks different than that, though. That's quite scripted looking. There's ZERO expressive body language. If she was actually into him, she would've either burst out laughing or made an exaggerated surprised facial expression at his "so I can't fuck with you?" joke about her studying psychology. The absolute "easiest" pull I had in peak college, I walked into a bar with my friends, and this women's basketball player from my math class pulls me aside. We hadn't really talked, but she…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 02:47 PM
5

They're way less focused on the camera and they down speak in third person about the person who's second person in front of them. This honestly just looks like an influencer mogging for the camera and the woman playing along. Also, if you've ever seen or been around a woman when she's horny AF she's not gonna waste this much time talking or hyping him. They'd have probably talked for about 15 seconds, and spent the rest of the time making out, caressing each other, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 02:26 PM
20

80K is more than enough to be golddug by hood/trailer park types, but these women are easy to spot. Still, the guys haggling over splitting a $40 dinner bill with a college-educated woman thinking that Applebee's is a sign of "resources" are usually idiots.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:41 PM
9

Boring women are not desirable. You might fall for them at first sight, but that's not based off interacting with them, which is my point. If that were true "dry texting" wouldn't be one of the top complaints by men, and "cat ladies" wouldn't be a stereotype - after all, "cat ladies" are rarely socially competent party girls, right? They're always some librarian stereotype who doesn't flirt, doesn't go out, and doesn't appear interested in men. But that doesn't stop incels from always assuming d…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:40 PM
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