~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Ex choice of HolidaysThanks for sharing. I hope you and your son have a wonderful holiday the rest of the summer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/26 10:45 PM |
| 1 | Ex choice of HolidaysMay I ask why you went on holiday with your ex? I recently did for a few days with our kids as we’re not officially divorced yet & still living in the same home. But I realised I didn’t really enjoy it, feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time and she expects me to plan and execute everything, while also being someone who doesn’t appreciate it and more critical. I’ve since communicated that I’d rather have separate holidays with the kids to also transition into our future state of co-pare… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/26 12:39 PM |
| 1 | Second marriage is over after financial infidelity…. Right?This…best advice! 💯 | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/26 07:01 AM |
| 1 | Never deleting your textsOh my this world just sucks for men. At least it’s only 5 years alimony and that’s it. Thanks for sharing, helps me mentally prepare for the worst. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/26 07:12 PM |
| 2 | Never deleting your textsMy STBX also said something similar. We migrated together after I was offered a job in another country. She stayed at home with kids first couple of years, I paid for her to pursue a masters and she got 4 different management level jobs in the years since but never held one for more than a year. She decided last year that she’s not interested in working corporate jobs after a burn out. She stayed home smoking weed and became emotionally abusive. Now that we’re getting divorced, she says she want… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/26 03:10 PM |
| 5 | It's very lonely being a single guyJust about the best piece of advice. I run, cycle and go to the gym. Sometimes early morning and other times after work. A long run or ride on weekends and then rest, church, read, movie and socialise in between. These are activities where you can also build a community by joining a running group or cycling club. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/26 12:48 PM |
| 1 | DelusionI literally LOL at the end! 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/26 09:50 PM |
| 3 | To everyone going through it right now, there IS light at the end of the tunnel. I promiseThank you so much for sharing this. Wishing you continued happiness and love in your new life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/06/26 10:26 AM |
| 3 | Today Is The DayWell done and wishing you a wonderful and happy new chapter in your life man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/26 04:15 AM |
| 2 | Having an argument and not blowing up is a great feelingGood for you man! Please share the name and or links to videos when you get a chance. I’d love to learn more as well. Thank you! | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/26 07:55 AM |
| 10 | Anyone ever experience this?I’m not yet divorced, still in the process and living under the same roof with my STBX whose got a lot of unresolved issues which she’s blamed mostly on me but was diagnosed with PTSD from childhood abandonment issues. One thing I can say is I see a lot of “victim” mindset and projecting on others including myself to heal her rather than inwards for her to heal herself. From what you’ve described, I’d say your ex is similar. I’d also question why particularly your marriage has unresolved issues … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/05/26 09:04 AM |
| 3 | Would you remarry her again?🤣🤣🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/26 09:22 PM |
| 2 | I Hope This Helps One Of Y’all Because That’s What We’re Here For 💪I think I should watch 300! Thanks bro. ❤️🩹 | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/26 07:35 PM |
| 4 | Do the hits stop coming?💯! The (chess) game isn’t over until the king falls. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/05/26 09:49 AM |
| 1 | Do the hits stop coming?I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It’s always one thing or the other happening but some things are positive; in your case finances give you options. In my case that is an issue and has limited my options temporarily especially after a job loss. I came across this post on Instagram and it gave me something to think about in a positive way:Food for Thought | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/26 12:49 PM |
| 4 | Wife now Empowered, my basic contribution framed as controlI do the same; plan holidays, the driving while everyone else either naps or on social media and most times I also plan the activities. My STBX gets anxious driving on highways and especially in new places, and then her stressing out always means I don’t really relax in the passenger seat. I once asked her to plan a holiday for us, a week before she came and asked me to do it because she couldn’t figure things out on her own, and basically said I was much better at this kind of thing anyway. Kno… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/05/26 07:48 AM |
| 1 | What was the thing that made you say you no longer love your wife?She was struggling with mental health issues at the time but the bad behaviour towards me just got worse and is what led to the divorce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/26 05:13 PM |
| 2 | I don’t want to do this anymoreThe first paragraph of your post is exactly my situation. I struggled emotionally because I felt like I had done everything possible to fix my marriage but nothing worked. I was low, feeling depressed and extremely lonely; married +18 years, also 2 daughters and lost my job. I reached out to my best friend, close family and my church community. To change my routine and socialise with other people, I joined a church group meeting weekly and also started counselling with my pastor. I’ve always tri… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/26 08:12 AM |
| 1 | Lucky but do not feel it - just a deep sense of sadness and lonelinessI’m (M45) still living in the same house with STBX and kids pending divorce & sell of the house, and what you’re describing has been a fear of mine as I love spending time with my kids. I do meet up friends for bike rides often; week days and weekends but sometimes they’re all busy or away. I have extended family but they leave in other countries. I’m planning on joining a few clubs, being more active at my church to connect with other people with similar interests. I hope this helps and of cour… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 11:32 AM |
| 3 | May I ask what led to your divorce?Familiar story! There must be a WhatsApp group where these women plan this behavior. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/05/26 11:24 AM |
| 13 | What was the thing that made you say you no longer love your wife?Like many here, it’s the lack of respect. Talking down, calling names, insults, blameshifting, mocking me. It was too much. Someone can say they love you all they want but if their actions do not show love, then it’s not worth it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/26 08:35 AM |
| 3 | How often do they come back?This is about the best advice! I’ve been thinking about her coming back and what I’d do, a part of me already knows but you put it out here and it’s what I needed to hear to stay the course and focus on my next chapter without her. Thank you. 🙏 | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/26 09:04 PM |
| 9 | What to do when the stbxw hits the wall?I am having a similar experience with my STBX. Basically she asked for divorce twice between November last year and January this year; in between we tried to reconcile but didn’t work out. In the end I told her I’m going ahead with divorce because it’s not working out. She’s played the victim card all while dancing and seemingly celebrating, having alcohol every other day. In my view, she doesn’t want to be married but wants me to be a provider while she’s not accountable for any of her bad beha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/04/26 08:23 AM |
| 1 | Almost a year laterThanks man. Came back today just to re-read your post for motivation. God bless you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/04/26 10:40 PM |
| 5 | I need advice. I just recently initiated physical distance. She's in one house, I'm in another. She's asking me to come over and help with things around her house. Should I do it, but keep my distance?She’s testing you bro. Starts with small things and next thing you’ll be housesitting while she’s on holiday with her boyfriend. Stay away and maintain your boundaries. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 05:23 PM |
| 5 | Almost a year laterThanks for giving me hope. I needed to hear this. It | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/26 11:05 PM |
| 1 | I need helpYour wife/partner can either be your cheerleader or critic (not in a healthy way) in life. One will build you up, help you grow while the other will do the exact opposite. I think you know where I’m going with this but it’s up to you in the end which you choose for your life. In my experience her behaviour won’t change so either you put up with it & create some serious boundaries or you leave. Good luck! | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 06:36 PM |
| 2 | From rock bottom in October to feeling like myself again (and more) — for anyone at the start of separationThank you so much for sharing this. I needed to hear it! God bless you and wishing you all the best in this new chapter of your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 11:13 AM |
| 3 | How do you guys dissociate?Prayer and then I do something I enjoy; running, cycling, go for a walk in nature or treat myself to a nice meal at a restaurant. Doing it with a friend or friends also helps more. Hang in there bro, it’s temporary and it’s important not to dwell in the negative thoughts. God bless you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/04/26 08:40 AM |
| 1 | Accepting you're done with for lifeThis was me until a few months ago. Some friends tried to warn me 2 years ago but things just got worse, emotionally abusive and disrespectful. That’s an even worse situation for kids to experience. Similar to OP I coped with running and cycling but these are just coping mechanisms. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/04/26 07:10 PM |
| 2 | 20 Years, 5 Kids, Jewish Orthodox . At What Point Is Divorce Actually the Right Call?In retrospect I think she was and I just didn’t realise it, or I excused it as justifiable behaviour. I only thought about it critically when my therapist asked me the same question and at first I said “no” but much later I realised it was true and validated it with other people close to her. I also think it got worse the last few years due to other factors that affected her. It feels like the mask just came off because she couldn’t keep up the pretence, things were falling apart in other relati… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/26 09:52 AM |
| 4 | My wife just leftSorry to hear about your situation. It is truly sad and unfortunate that your wife is building up on past issues as the reason for the divorce. As someone who had past anger issues (I struggled with difficult conversations because I later found out I have PTSD), I did therapy for myself and we also had marriage counselling. In spite of this, things got worse & my STBX built up this whole narrative focused on me as the “broken” one in the relationship when she had deeper issues from trauma making… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/26 06:13 AM |
| 1 | Final Judgement NoticeThank you and God bless you too brother. Praying for you as well. 🙏 | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 05:04 PM |
| 3 | 20 Years, 5 Kids, Jewish Orthodox . At What Point Is Divorce Actually the Right Call?I am in similar situation almost 100%! Doubted my inclination towards divorce because I was raised Catholic it’s shunned upon but the shrinking, fear of arguing because I was misunderstood, walking on egg shells & my own boundaries not being respected became unbearable. When I started to stand up for myself things escalated quickly. Marriage counselling didn’t help, patience didn’t help… she just became more controlling & manipulative. I can’t see how t live like this for the rest of my life so … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/04/26 05:02 PM |
| 3 | Was the divorce your fault?Oh man, you’re describing my STBX! Exactly the same BS and more. I take responsibility for the stuff I did wrong, even in therapy. Soon as the therapist started focusing on her, she accused me of turning the therapist against her….I’m the one who needs fixing even though she was diagnosed with PTSD from childhood trauma, started abusing drugs and became emotionally abusive. I recently got diagnosed with ADHD; I already knew I possibly had it and had developed coping skills and took herbal supple… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/26 07:15 PM |
| 2 | Final Judgement NoticeThis is inspiring, thanks for sharing! “A woman should never be your identity nor measure of self.” When I spent more time in prayer and focusing on my relationship with God I realised how much I had mistakenly let myself be identified by my spouse/marriage. This realisation was the first step to regaining my self esteem, confidence and setting healthy boundaries. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/26 07:13 AM |
| 3 | Is there a pattern with HC divorce?Exactly the same in my situation! | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/26 07:03 AM |
| 9 | Still fresh. Feeling lost.Turning 45 in less than a week, just starting the process with mediator. Dated since 23 years, married almost 19 and don’t know what life will be like after this but learning to look for the positives; peace, less stress & anxiety, no constant criticism/judgement, blame shifting. Learning a lot from others who’ve experienced the same and rebuilt their lives in this group. You will be fine, take it one day at a time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/26 09:07 PM |
| 1 | Finalized TodayPfff same here. Even when I tried to adjust myself to fit the new her, was never enough. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/26 12:31 PM |
| 3 | Almost 5 weeks... uodateThanks for sharing. Could you please tell me what “grey rock” is? Sorta new to the forum. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/26 12:18 PM |
| 1 | Seeking advice. Unique living arrangement.This is what I also came to say. I tried staying for the kids, and I’m also the breadwinner who’s doing more of the housework… it’s not worth it in the long term. We need to get the the best version of ourselves for our kids even when it means making the toughest decisions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 11:07 PM |
| 9 | One of the strangest parts of this process is how normal you still have to look while your life is under pressure.Men carry a lot and they do it quietly and with strength; no loud announcements, complaints, blaming etc. We don’t get enough credit. Kudos to you brother. You are equally entitled to feel all your emotions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 09:51 PM |
| 3 | I just hate my life at this pointPraying for your healing man. Stay strong for your kids. Yes life is filled with challenges but the person you grow into when you overcome them is the example you need to set for your kids as well. You’re their strength and they will learn from you. It’s OK to feel awful, that’s perfectly human but look at the positives in your life, even the small stuff. I also engage more in my church, going through therapy and I have those “I’m fooling myself” days but I focus on gratitude for the small and b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/26 10:32 AM |
| 2 | Gentlemen, I need some helpSorry you’re going through this tough time brother. Hang in there, it is temporary and take comfort in the fact she’s someone else’s problem now. From everything you’ve described that new husband is going to be regretting his decisions soon. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 09:11 PM |
| 2 | HelpSorry to hear about your experience. Do realise that you’re everything to your son even if you don’t feel that connection. It’s important to reconnect, do stuff with your son, listen to his ramblings and about his day at school, his friends etc. And make time for yourself, go for a walk in nature, start a hobby, go running or cycling. That’s worked really well for me in times I feel low. I’m also a Christian so I spend time also reconnecting with my faith. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/26 09:43 AM |
| 1 | My (30m) wife (35f) has told me she’s moving out next month, after 12 years married. Canada.It’s a struggle TBH, some days I’m great and others I’m just freaking out about my future but learning not to entertain the fear…that’s the mind looking for familiarity and self sabotaging an unknown future. I also lost my job around the same time as the decision to divorce so I’ve really had to lean on my faith, therapy and my closest friends/family for moral support. One day at a time and slowly it gets better, not perfect but still better. Stay strong for yourself and your kids brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 06:43 PM |
| 1 | The day of the finalization of the divorce was so hard despite everything that happened.Thank you for sharing. I’m in a similar position, just starting the process, sleeping in different beds & she seems like she’s having the time of her life; always energetic, jovial, playing music and dancing but like someone said it’s like being drunk. I know her, she will never show her sadness. I think a lot of women are like that, men aren’t. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 07:33 AM |
| 1 | Divorced dads - I wrote a book on high-conflict co-parenting and will give free copies for honest feedbackMe too. Got a high conflict STBX and would be nice to prepare for the next chapter co-parenting. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 10:32 PM |
| 1 | My empty house feels so lonely.When I was lonely, I focused on rebuilding myself and found comfort in prayer, community and family/friends. I’ve never been this close to God and I’m loving it. In my spare time I focus on reading, hitting the gym and going out cycling or running. You have to fill that “empty space” with something you enjoy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 08:07 AM |
| 1 | My empty house feels so lonely.I’m looking forward to this! I like quiet time, structure and clean space. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 08:03 AM |
| 7 | My brother cheated on his wifeI agree with you that your brother was wrong to cheat on his wife instead of asking for a divorce first. However, it sounds like he’s in a toxic relationship and I don’t agree that you should encourage him to fix things with his wife. The things you’ve listed she’s doing won’t change overnight, his mother-in-law whose poisoning the relationship will not disappear, and when respect is lost it’s difficult for a man to see things the same way. I have a STBX who wanted to work through things but it … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 07:14 AM |
| 7 | My (30m) wife (35f) has told me she’s moving out next month, after 12 years married. Canada.Hi, I’m M44 and married 18 years with two teenage kids. My situation is similar to yours; she had depression and I did my best to be by her side but noticed she became distant, stopped being intimate and blamed me for not being enough for her in the relationship, then she finally asked for a divorce. We’d tried counselling, I made many changes but it was never enough for her. I’ve accepted that the marriage is over. My advice is learn from your mistakes but don’t beg and expect her to come back … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/26 05:34 AM |
| 2 | Divorce has been one of the best things to ever happen to me.Thank you, I needed to hear this. Just got the “I want a divorce” notice two days ago and frankly if she hadn’t asked then I was going to do it. Married 18 years, 2 kids but it’s not been a happy marriage last few years. I realised I’ve been changing myself for her and I lost sight of who I am, and had decided enough is enough when she asked so I consider it a blessing. I’ve been worried about the future, splitting finances, co-parenting etc but all in all I’m excited to have my freedom back and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/11/25 04:08 PM |
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