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ToughCollection7460 Archive

View 3 posts and 35 comments by ToughCollection7460 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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11

My husband is similar in that he knows a lot about very random things and loves to discuss them. (He watches a lot of documentaries.) What I’ve found best is to firstly, put away my phone. It is so much easier to give him my full, undivided attention when my phone isn’t in my hand. Also, asking him questions that I find interesting. When I ask him questions not only does it show that I’m engaged, but it also curve’s the conversation towards things I find more interesting and/or understand. You c…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/23 07:21 PM
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I did when I was much younger and immature. Now years into our relationship and married I am very satisfied in the life we’ve built and feel very blessed with my husband. The game of comparison was only hurting me and my relationship. I also deleted most of my social media accounts.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 09:13 PM
5

It gave me the peace of mind I needed at the time so for me it served it’s purpose. Baby fever is time consuming enough, I won’t add stressing about fertility to my or my husbands plate. Testing male fertility is much easier and more affordable then the alternative so that’s why his fertility will be checked first if it comes to that. I have full faith that I will be a mother and that we will grow our family and I’m trusting and have peace that it will be by natural birth. But, if we need to cha…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/23 05:52 PM
4

I’ve just been actively monitoring my ovulation using temperature changes & checking my LH balance, both of which give me the confidence i need that my cycle is healthy. A few years ago I also bought the modern fertility testing kit, though I don’t know how accurate it is. Honestly, we haven’t checked my husbands numbers in any capacity. We plan to start trying for a baby in the spring of ‘24 so if I’m not pregnant by Dec of ‘24 we’ll probably start by getting his fertility checked.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/23 05:26 PM
10

A couple things I’d consider I bring to the table: Fertility and age: (this is out of anyone’s control, but still a positive contribution.) Both my husband and I want a family (starting to try next year 🙌🏻) so I would consider my fertility and age to both be things I bring to the table. I’m also grateful that i started dating with the intention of marriage as young as i did (23) and grateful i met him at 24. Humility, kindness, loyalty, low aggression: I’ve worked really hard, especially over th…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/23 12:41 PM
1

Perpetually unemployed would be a dealbreaker for me, but income difference isn’t. By complete luck and chance I make about 20k more a year than my husband, but we combine our finances so the difference in our pay doesn’t phase me at all. We have the ability to cover our bills, own our home, raise some babies and enough that money is not a major stressor in our marriage and honestly that’s all I care about.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/23 09:31 PM
1

You’re so so right! Definitely something I need to work on and remind myself of. It’s not that I’m purposefully trying to be independent or disregard his genuine offers, I think it’s more of not wanting to be an imposition. But, something I need to work on.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 02:06 AM
3

Yea, I really need to remember to keep that in mind. The second he appeared I just knew he should have helped and serve how offered. Thank you for the insight!!
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/23 12:05 AM
1

No offense taken! We had so many discussions about children (and marriage) together before even moving in together, I know he wants kids. My career took a very unexpected (but positive) turn and it made him more stressed about stability. We’ve been saving so much money because I’m making more then we ever planned, we moved to a smaller town, we bought a house-all of these in my mind we’re clear signs of stability. But, he’s also much better then I am at looking at the big picture so I think he i…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/23 10:08 PM
1

You’re right, there’s definitely compromise space there no doubt. I think I just needed to vent more then anything last night. I really think he’ll come around with more discussions. But, he at least heard me when I told him last night that even once we start actively trying it could still be months+ before I get pregnant if we’re lucky.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/23 06:18 PM
5

I think it’s definitely something we need to revisit so I can more clearly express my thoughts. And that’s true, even if we compromised for fall ‘24 everything else would be sorted by the time baby came. I try not to let my mind go to hypotheticals or things that are currently unknown, but I’m so anxious about infertility. I don’t know if he really understands my fear of that and why it’s important to my timeline.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/23 11:18 PM
4

Thank you, it surprised me how much this helped. 32 just feels so much older to me, but it’s comforting to read that I could have no issues even well past that age. I’m going to try and enjoy the newlywed life and keep focused on the honeymoon. After that though I might be back for more reassurance lol
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/23 11:04 PM
1

Though I see his point specifically about the business, I don’t see it as important of a factor as he does. I think that’s my biggest problem. We have finances under control; we have savings, investments, retirement funds and already have solid equity in our house. Like it feels like we’ve checked so many boxes on the road to baby. And for it to get further postponed by one inconsequential checkmark is just difficult to swallow. If we wait until 2025 I’ll be turning 33. I just wish he understood…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/23 10:44 PM
1

Oh sorry, my profile is super private! But, I’ll be active on here 😊
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/23 12:28 PM
4

Hahaha ok good, I can be a bit of a rambler. Family is important to me so I was always observant of how he talked about and to his parents and what he was like around them. I appreciated hearing my husband talk vulnerably about his family with me, but he always remained so respectful of his parents and their marriage even if he had some disagreements with some of their decisions. I was confident in what I wanted my future to look like and how my value system worked into that. I knew that my husb…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/23 02:03 AM
7

That part was mostly a joke, meaning her advice may have made me a bit too cautious. If she’d had her way me and my husband would have been married years ago. 😂 And I don’t mean that you’re not going to get emotionally invested. Trust me, being with my now husband for 6 years before marriage…I was INVESTED. But, I think emotional investment plays out more in a way of just keeping your wits about you. Infatuation and early love can be blinding. True tunnel vision. Women especially can become almo…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/23 12:36 AM
12

Probably one of those things that could be taken and implemented a million different ways. My moms way of talking to me about relationships and marriage was heavy on financial and emotional independence (until marriage). Not diving feet first into a relationship without really evaluating the relationship and compatibility as a whole. She didn’t want me fully investing my heart, life and soul into a man if he wasn’t my husband. Aka, before marriage there are priorities that may come before my boy…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/23 05:53 PM
33

When I moved in with my husband, then boyfriend, I didn’t feel like I was in any riskier of a situation then I would have been with a roommate. We didn’t combine finances and we split the rent/bills, just like any roommates would. Once we got married, that is when we combined everything. We lived in a large city at the time. But, I’ve always trusted what my mom taught me; you’re single until you’re married.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/23 03:55 PM
2

Always excited to learn more and find new actions to incorporate in my life and marriage!
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/23 10:11 PM
3

Congratulations!!! Such an exciting time for y’all!! Your marriage doesn’t have to look like your parents. Mine doesn’t look anything like my parents or my husbands parents. I learned from them and did some things similarly and some totally different. Always remember that every selfless action in a marriage is a boomerang, returning to your through your marriage success. Keeping that perspective has been incredibly helpful to me. 🩵
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 07:54 PM
9

He does stick to a schedule of sorts, but whether he does laundry on Tuesday or Thursday doesn’t bother me any. As long as what we need to get done, gets done. Don’t fear marriage and don’t fear the hard, selfless work that it requires. (It’s so freaking worth it. Marriage is seriously the best.) Find a man that you trust, respect and desire to support, someone you want to work hard with and build a life with. Marriage is never 50/50. So if you expect or anticipate that everything; every chore, …
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 07:39 PM
16

Financially: what’s mine is his, what’s his is mine. Our money is combined and we both contribute 100% of what we have to contribute. (We both work full time.) Household chores: It’s not a tit for tat and our roles definitely don’t look the same. He is in charge of laundry, our outdoor space and M-F dinners. Those are his big ticket items. I handle big cleaning items as my big tickets (mopping, sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, cat room blah blah blah) which I usually do on the weekends while he sle…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 06:29 PM
13

Check out the book “salt, fat, acid, heat”. It taught me so much about the science of cooking and definitely got me more comfortable preparing meals in the kitchen. From there I’d just recommend exploring some recipes you find exciting and seeing what works and what doesn’t. My husband is similar in that he is a really good cook (and incredible with the grill), so I kind of had to figure out my space in the kitchen/cooking duties and also find out what I enjoy. So now I handle all our big holida…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 01:27 PM
7

Though I don’t have any advice from a personal experience, you’re in a similar situation that my mom found herself in. My advice would be to definitely hire some help. My top recommendation would be a housekeeper, they’re affordable and will alleviate so much pressure, taking care of the “big ticket” cleaning items. A dog walker is incredibly affordable and alleviate some pressure as well. My husband and I meal prep on Sundays and that has been an incredible help to us!! We keep dinners nice, bu…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 07:48 PM
8

I think the first question you have to really ask yourself is “is monogamy important to you in marriage”. For me, the answer is unequivocally yes. I am open to forgiveness and I believe reconciliation is possible after infidelity, but marital reconciliation would HAVE to be the mutual goal. I am not ok with my husband going to other women for anything, whether romantic or sexual. If you are naturally ok with your husband going outside of your marriage to fulfill his romantic or sexual needs, I h…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:54 PM
5

Ok, putting myself in your shoes. Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Thank God I have never experience infidelity personally, but I can only imagine the pain and confusion that follows. So here is how i think i would handle it. Many will say leave him. But, depending on the details and extent of the infidelity, I can’t imagine leaving my husband either. I would most definitely bring it to light. There’s no purpose or advantage to sweeping it under the rug and waiting for him to con…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:27 PM
3

Always steak, he could have steak with a side of steak. He loves my baked Mac and cheese recipe too which I usually only break out for holidays or birthdays. He’s also a total seafood guy, he loves crab legs and scallops. My dad got us Joes Stone Crabs for Christmas a couple of years back and I thought my husband had died and gone to Heaven!
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 12:54 PM
13

This definitely isn’t something I would have filed a complaint about. And though some of your feelings are valid, it is never fun to feel ignored, but put yourself in her shoes for a moment. It sounds like she was simply excited to be able to actually use her home language for once. I’d have felt the same way if my husband filed a complaint on our waitress with management after an interaction as innocent as that. Your boyfriend backed you up in that he agreed with you that she could have more be…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/23 08:07 PM
18

Here’s my two cents. I can empathize with how you’re feeling and the situation you’re in. My moms advice to me and advice I still agree with today is, “you’re single until you’re married”. Basically meaning, you’re currently living the “married life” without any of the marriage benefits or safety net. It can be a scary place to be. You love him, you see your future with him, you’re living with him-all of that is totally fine by me. But, in my opinion, you need maintain some sort of independent l…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 08:43 PM
4

If you’re up for a reading, I highly recommend “Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat.” It really teaches you the science behind cooking. I found it not only interesting, but super informative so I could learn to cook without a recipe. Also you might really enjoy the “Buddha Bowls” cookbook. Basically teaches you all the things you can throw into a bowl (salad, noodle or rice dish) and how to mix it up to create a delicious and nutritious meal. My husband and I make curry bowls all the time now because of this …
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 10:10 PM
37

I agree with this! It sounds like she might be coming on too strong or too fast.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 12:42 PM
3

Wishing you all the best!!
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 03:52 PM
2

Gosh I know that must be really hard. It sounds like he is working super hard and is just totally exhausted. Not that that invalidates your feelings of distance, but it does show his intentions are true which is a good thing. If you love him and see him as your future, just try and be there with him when you can and focus on what is in your control. I know I said it earlier, but when my husband and I were dating the only time we had together was when he got off work in the morning and I was gett…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 03:48 PM
3

Personally, I don’t think this would come across as naggy at all. Especially with the physical distance, I think it would be very relevant for you to talk to him about how you’re feeling he’s emotionally distant. I’d also not bring up the allowance. You’re not married and that is generous of him, but not something that shows emotional investment in the future of the relationship. If you don’t want to add to his stress, don’t. I would personally approach it (in person or on FaceTime, not over tex…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 03:31 PM
3

How much time has this been taking up? Buying or remodeling a house can definitely be a time consuming process (my husband and I just bought our first house last year,) but at least for us it definitely didn’t take up every evening. My recommendation would be to take initiative and nail him down on a specific date night that you can plan. Tell him “mark next Saturday night as taken on your calendar, I’m planning us a nice night” and plan something for the two of you. Get some nice steaks and coo…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 03:20 PM
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