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Training_Designer_41 Archive

View 2 posts and 261 comments by Training_Designer_41 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Not all men are the same. There are certain kinds of men that don’t go through all that. They will review a woman like a very expensive special designer bag. Those men will look at it, touch it, feel it out, make sure it works for them
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 03:15 PM
–

In that case we’ll never count those men back in
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 02:16 AM
–

I was trying to lighten things up with a joke but I didn’t land it well
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 02:14 AM
–

Not counting men that suck too hard … I was trying to lighten the discuss with a polysemy on the word “suck”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 02:12 AM
–

I get what you mean, but you’ve not fully gotten what I said
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 06:44 PM
1

I don’t know where you got that from, I’ve never heard any woman complain about how much the man sucks, no woman ever rejects such a man. Women actually complain about the exact opposite, so let’s just stop spreading that idea
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 02:50 PM
–

It doesn’t make sense to me either, but it happens. And it happens a lot
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:25 AM
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Hers the thing, I’ve heard from women directly, even when a woman wants casual sex with no relationship afterwards, it’s still a turn off for women if you make them feel like it’s just casual sex. That’s how casual sex works for many women. Even when it’s clear to both that it’s casual sex, you don’t get to declare it, otherwise the woman will still feel used etc. then in retrospect, a woman can feel anyway about it independent of your motives
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:24 AM
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And still we see a good number of women clinging tightly to exactly the man who has declared from get go that he doesn’t want relationship. She stays there hoping she can make him change his mind, and he doesn’t, and she still stays there, voluntarily And there are some women who won’t stay like that your position doesn’t line up with many instances irl
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:13 AM
-1

Strings of incoherent reasoning, trying to make some catchy phrases stick. You’ve picked the wrong person
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 10:50 PM
0

Do you believe those exact things cannot happen in relationships with no age gap?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 10:44 PM
0

interesting choice of words . You are trying hard to not say it “Whenever a teacher sexually abuses a boy” Instead of “Whenever a woman sexually abuses a boy” Or use the legal “Whenever a woman sexually abuses a minor” Or pluralize “Whenever women sexually abuses minors” Or make it persistent “Women still sexually abuses minors” But that’s too hard to write, But in case of men you are on target, and you chose surgical legal language and pluralize for intensity saying “Men still sexually abuses m…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 10:28 PM
1

But that’s exactly the same shape of response you gave earlier but for older men. If the link was about male teachers, would you have said it was a weird way to respond?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 10:16 PM
1

what is attracting the young women, so strong that while they do say no to many men, they voluntarily gravitate toward the older men?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 10:04 PM
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I don’t think it’s just personal preference. The description you gave is just how it looks like in the surface, what’s actually happening is a bit different. A man thinks he needs to have all those things and yeah it works-ish, but having those things are not necessary at all, neither is it sufficient. But if you present them, there are women that would take it. It also depends to a degree on location
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 07:00 AM
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Lots of truth here. I don’t understand the strip away with one argument part, but everything else lines up
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 06:53 AM
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Actually agree with this, but you’re missing something. The reason what women did all their lives resulted in what happens to be attractive to men is coz it doesn’t take a lot to know what’s attractive to men, even if interest in men is not there. it’s straight forward. You know 1 thing and you’re good for most men On the other hand men, many full grown men have little to no idea what is attractive to women. So the leverage is not equivalent. And learning what attracts 1 woman does not tell you …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 06:44 AM
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Don’t go there
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 06:35 AM
6

Anything other than being with a woman is not going to be helpful. The initial mistakes are part of the learning, you can’t skip them. You have to ‘feel’ the mistakes, you need the referent. And women provide a very fast feedback, if she likes you, she’s come close, otherwise the spatial and temporal distance she’ll create will increase, and you move on. That’s the only metric you need ( not words) . You only need 1 out of millions of women. The probability is not bad. But they won’t come knocki…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 10:44 AM
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That makes sense regarding the impossibility. I agree with that. What do most people mean by standards, is it more in line with that definition of preference or something different?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 10:21 AM
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I’ve not asked anyone to change their preferences, nor any I don’t like.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 10:01 PM
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But they still sometimes end up with crap partner anyways. When it comes to avoiding crap partner, there’s absolutely nothing one can do to avoid it. You can only reduce the chances. Ability to avoid crap partner using standard sounds good, but it’s not possible
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:52 PM
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Exactly my point, you think it applies to all or many women, you cannot imagine a woman preferring a someone who is lazy, as much as there are women who cannot imagine a women preferring someone who is physically violent, and I’ve seen both and it’s puzzled me into the conclusion that more often than not, when a woman says something is good or bad, she means good/bad for HER. A man that takes that as a standard becomes miserable each one of the women I’ve been with is just a totally different wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:43 PM
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That mixes many things. A man that beats you or abuses you is more like a criminal, it’s not a standard you set, it’s more a violation of the law, he is worthy of being arrested, and you can attribute good/bad to such. That is a different category from ‘be lazy’ and ‘not help’. Liking someone who is not lazy is a preference. If that person happens to be lazy, it doesn’t make them bad or good, it just makes them misaligned with your preference. Mixing them up into one category results in making s…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:01 PM
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A standard is an objective measure, it’s established by authority , used to judge others against, and deviations signify failure of others that don’t meet the standards A preference is a subjective fact about a person, it’s a liking or favouring of one option over another, and deviations signify differences from others who don’t align with the preferences
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:34 PM
1

The problem is with the word standard. From your description, it looks more like you have preferences, and your preferences doesn’t really change. So it’s not a matter of higher or lower, your preferences are just are and are meant to be respected. But having higher standards, is like, what standards and higher than what? It’s indefensible
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:04 AM
1

I see the spirit of what you are saying, I agree with it more than you might think. I’m trying to strip away the notion of one human deciding the worth of another human, you have taken it to its logical conclusion, and I agree with that. People are not goods to be exchanged, people have inherent values, and preferences that should be respected, and agency to be preserved, and no one should invalidate that, not even with any standard anyone may come up with. This is not objectification, it’s the …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 06:41 AM
1

I don’t understand what you mean, explain more, I don’t want to read into your comment To your question, the message is not only for young women, it’s for all, young old male female, children. I don’t want young women to just listen, I want everyone to system 2 think about it. I mentioned that having standards with no values to match is not great Would you advise a young woman to have a high standard without having a high value to match?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 05:58 AM
1

How is it self serving?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 05:34 AM
1

I see many points of truth to what you’re saying. And yes I didn’t define my terms well. When people hear that they should reduce their standards they think I’m saying they should be ok with anything, or let anything fly, or just be with anyone etc. no, we can still have preferences and choose what we want without looking down on others from a position of some power/authority to decide if some other human meet some standard, man or woman. The worst part is defining standards in terms of morals…w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 05:31 AM
-1

No, I disagree. Standards as you put it are bs. The mixup is actually what I’m exposing. Standards as you say it, ought to be non negotiable, but they are constantly negotiated. If we define standards in terms of morals and values, if the person saying they have standards do not have morals and values themselves, then that person is a hypocrite. Many people claiming high standards don’t have high morals and values. In dating and relationships, morals and values are neither necessary nor sufficie…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:49 AM
1

Thanks for reading the body. I think it needs to be said out loud. Men are told to have a high standard, so what exactly is a high standard, no one can define it. Women might say they have higher standards than men. What exactly does that mean. And who would like to be with someone with ‘high standards’ with no value to match, that’s the definition of entitlement. Standards subtly creates a power dynamic, someone in position of authority who gets to measure you to check if you meet up to standar…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:33 AM
-2

You don’t need standards to not choose that person, you just need preferences
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:13 AM
0

True, except they can’t park in your reality without you parking in theirs at the same time. But another read on what you said is more like preferences which I’m all for. Standards should be deprecated
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:11 AM
1

Not a good point, a lot of bad things are human nature, yet we won’t say not to tell people to stop being those kinds of humans
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:05 AM
0

That’s a much better approach. I’d actually call that preferences, I’d put it as much better than having standards. Having standards connotes something set by authority deciding worthiness of others. Preferences are what we have, no one can question them, you set your preferences, everyone has to respect it. Is why we meet standards but we respect preferences, and it’s the respect we want
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:29 PM
2

does that make you are a weirdo since you read it?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:19 PM
1

Sure, comes down to can vs will
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:17 PM
2

Thank you, it was a typo
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:15 PM
2

The 1:1 I used was load bearing. A better, illustrative example is more like if my standard is to obtain $5k from you, I don’t need to have 5k, but I better have 5k worth of value to offer you otherwise you’d call me a con artist.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:11 PM
0

Keeping the standard is not necessarily nor sufficient and actually can come off as hypocritical if value does not stack up to standards, so its net negative, hence the sense in dropping standards
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:02 PM
-6

Given that both men and women can’t get what they want, that translates to every one needs to drop their standards
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:59 PM
1

100%
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:56 PM
0

I like the value, but what does the standards do? How often does our values level up to the standards we set?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:54 PM
1

I won’t count that as a standard, at least not in a trivial sense, since no one walks into a restaurant announcing that requirement.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:46 PM
1

One thing that puzzled me the most much earlier on is how one has to ask a woman to do something she could think to do herself. Why would I tell someone who is grown up to do that kind of thing, they can obviously see the situation, and they obviously want to support, when she wants to go something, no one has to tell her, she’ll go out of her way. It’s ridiculous for me to ask that kind of thing But, one has to ask. In fact it’s so powerful and so simple, you can get a woman to do almost anythi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 06:19 AM
1

Logical choice is that in a relationship, everyone should contribute, if one person is not contributing, then what are they doing there. Now what if suddenly one of them cannot work for whatever reason ( injury, sickness etc) for some extended period, is it logical for the other person to then take on the joint responsibility instead of moving on to someone else who is ready and strong enough to contribute?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 05:59 AM
1

That rarely balances as easily as it appears. You’d want him to have that logic in that domain, and then, e.g after you’ve invested years in the relationship and the logical choice happens to be for him to drop you for another woman, you wouldn’t want him to apply the logic at that point. Women tend towards men with the logic you’re describing and then trying to get such a man to break the logic when it comes to how he feels about her is one of the key engines of female attraction. The fantasy i…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 12:48 AM
2

The thing is that we don’t get to choose who loves us, and we choose who we love. It’s the ultimate test of nature. If it were the other way round, where we get to choose, then you can just choose any girl we want and she’s say yes. The same applies to others. E.g If you’re not gay, then any gay guy can get to choose you and you must say yes It’s survival of the fittest, not survival of the most honest, kind, gentle, caring, loving, good, valuable etc. only if the fittest, and each person gets t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 08:59 PM
8

Very funny, I just forwarded 4 of them to your email, I recommend the third one
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:25 AM
2

If you are making a sincerity argument, then I’d say, that is exactly how most people are, and unless you are so self sufficient, which is super rare, you, me, women, men etc are doing the same, people just accept some insincerities more than others, but the exact same conditions gives rise to the same behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:17 AM
-1

But here’s the thing, it’s a woman that is with that man that women says sucks Is such a woman in the minority? or ‘sucks’ in the expression does not mean what the connotation suggests
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 04:06 PM
2

I see
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 07:32 AM
-2

For some women, does subconscious go like this “I can do better by having one with a boat and doesn’t suck. Just having one that doesn’t suck but have no boat will put me levels below”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 06:29 AM
3

Important to what end?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:44 PM
1

Not a good question to ask
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:11 PM
1

I’d even say people should avoid telling breakup stories altogether. Even if the person tells both sides, it’s still one person telling both sides. Unless they have a good reason to tell the story, people are not motivated to look like the ‘bad one’. If the reason to tell is to get some sympathy, they’ll tend to play down whatever would invite criticism
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:07 PM
1

Imputing bad faith, it’s a shame
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 11:29 PM
1

that men have boundaries, men have standards, men don’t just say yes to anything That is good to read, I’ll take that, I don’t want to dilute it with a rebuttal
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 09:32 PM
0

That makes sense, like let’s assume not interested in you but interested in your physical appearance etc it still counts as things that is made hard, and for good reason. But my claim is specifically set up for a case where you are interested in the other person, like the man you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 09:17 PM
1

It seems vague because people read it as not value neutral. Like it connotes badness. But when I said making it hard or easy it means nothing else but that. Work is hard doesn’t mean work is bad. But if that company is interested in having more people join them, they make the work easy and attractive for people to apply. So having someone we are interested in is the criteria in my claim
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 09:06 PM
1

That’s correct, it’s value neutral Yes it’s an all or nothing in a sense That said, it’s in degrees, hence the ‘tend’ qualification . So a single counter example or exception doesn’t break it. It’s not absolute, it’s a claim about distribution and less about a rule
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 08:58 PM
1

So we know that it’s not uncommon for a man walking by to ask a woman to go on a date with him, even if it’s uncommon for a woman to find a man walking by attractive given that, if the man walking by happens to be interested in you, would it be easy for him to convince you to go on a date? Or it depends, like it doesn’t work that way?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 08:38 PM
1

Take something more common, the very first encounter, you see a man walking by that you find attractive, and it looks like there’s mutual interest. Would it be easier for you to go ask him out or would it be easier if he asks you out? Or do you see this kind of question and think “men ask women out, not supposed to be the other way round” ?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 08:14 PM
1

Personally I’ve never continued with someone that put up a challenge, like If I detect any game looking behaviour I back out no matter how extraordinarily beautiful or whoever she might be. My longest relationship was easy from day 1 and lasted for years, it never crossed my mind once that what if she does that with other guys. The whole someone make something hard artificially as a way to communicate something about one’s self to the other person is just nonsensical, the person who will mess ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 07:59 PM
0

you’ve characterized it as fallacious The post says “tends to”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:04 PM
1

Right, in a sense. More right is that morality and ease are orthogonal
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:55 PM
0

I see, so as for evidence I currently don’t have one at hand. Why it’s beneficial for men to start testing? Because it’s the logical thing. A man should not accept any woman, he has to filter. Should women test less? No, women need to test. Then why is the post suggesting women should test less? Not suggesting, just stating what ‘is’ about attraction, not what ‘ought’. Just added in the last question
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:52 PM
1

That’s true. And It actually doesn’t contradict the post
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:39 PM
0

You mean evidence that many women do test men?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:31 PM
0

I didn’t say all men are like that, but I’m seeing the confusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:24 PM
1

I largely disagree agree with that. But as I write this I’m having second thoughts to examine, so I don’t have a fuller response yet
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:20 PM
0

Personally I do the same. It’s not a post about absolutes, it’s just positing about tendencies
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:15 PM
1

Mostly true, it doesn’t take away from the difficulties women face in various facets of life, in the family, in her self, children, I won’t even pretend I fully know what women go through. The post is just a surface, attraction, etc it’s not intended to discount or label
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:12 PM
0

that’s exactly one of the things post aims to dispel. Many men would prefer women that are not challenging It’s the same idea with many other things that men think women like but men are so wrong about it
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:06 PM
1

I largely agree with this. The problem is that the signal a man would give, I mean a man who would not change is equivalent to the signal that a man who would change would give. You have no way to know ahead of time other than to have some intuition that when a man ‘looks’ like he is over doing, then he can’t be the type that would maintain it several months down the line. What that does is that a man who would be consistent and able to do a lot more has to calibrate his efforts so it doesn’t re…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:59 PM
1

That is correct, the post is not about good or bad
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:48 PM
-1

Are you sure? Have you met men with no boundaries, no standards, you get to have your way all the time so it’s made easy for you . men that would say yes to whatever you want, that will put up no resistance to whatever you ask for, have you met the yes man? they are not bad people to be clear. But would you feel attraction First of all is this still fictional?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:46 PM
-3

You don’t, but many women do instinctively. I hold that it makes sense, and both sides should test each other, it’s a very important decision both sides are trying to make However there are shitty tests and tests that makes no sense and tests that go on forever. Just like there are good and bad job interviews, they suck. But if you own the company, you won’t just accept every one that walks in through the door
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:35 PM
1

That’s it’s a good thing or not is a different matter. And yes making it hard for him can be a good thing , and can also be a bad thing, so its not a morality attraction correlation claim
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:27 PM
1

I’m just making a claim about what is. The claim is that if you have a man that you want, then making things easier for him will count as attractive. As per the post, it’s regarding the man that a woman wants and the women that a man wants . Not about what I want to change etc
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:23 PM
-4

If you find a man that makes everything easy for you. No resistance, no pushbacks, no boundaries, he tells you he’ll buy you anything you want, and whatever you ask for , he’ll say yes to it, no questions, no making anything difficult, what you say, he’ll agree to it, you call and he’s there right away, you instruct him and he follows, he guarantees no hardship, just him making everything easy for you etc Would you be attracted to him? Or more specifically, would women tend to be attracted to hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:17 PM
-2

One way is by reversing the natural instincts, as per the post
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:03 PM
-2

Men feel the test as unpleasant, women give the test as a way to screen out bad actors. A woman is not thinking the test is a bad thing. It’s just like what you will do before giving someone access to what is valuable to you. It’s not a bad thing. It tells a woman you are not just opened to any woman that walks by
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:00 PM
1

You mistook what I mean. ‘Hard’ does not mean bad and ‘easy’ does not mean good. My claim is valence agnostic
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:55 PM
1

Im not referring to increasing the odds, it’s only about what counts as attractive. The two are different claims I’m not on any dating site so I don’t know about the tinder dynamics
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:53 PM
-10

One of many examples is in dating context, women testing men, men not testing women
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:47 PM
1

Hit in the clit over … that’s an interestingly effective creative expression
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 08:01 AM
1

Facts on facts
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 07:46 AM
1

You got it. And actually that’s why I used the term gaslighting. It’s when someone declares your reality invalid, and you begin to doubt what you know is true. It’s a nasty psychological thing. Not everyone is susceptible to it. Men and women tends to gaslight each other, I believe unintentionally. I believe that’s what’s attractive about those who are confident. For some/many women, they LOVE to be around a guy that remain unaffected by her attempts to push (test, gaslight, manipulate, … ) the …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 07:43 AM
1

You’re describing something like confidence. pick anything that would get to you easily, and we can always find someone that the same thing simply rolls off their back. So it’s describing something different from the generalized things like emasculation etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 10:19 PM
1

I get what you mean. The attack on women predates in so many cases in comparison to men’s. Women go through a lot more than men can understand. Men also go through a lot but it’s hard to compare The instances you mentioned are in a dimension. They seem to be directly about what a person has or can do, and indirectly about who a person is Emasculation is a gaslighting of the specific gender role and who a person is. I’m imagining a direct comparable insult towards a woman would suggest something …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 09:44 PM
1

For a man it can be more complex, the woman knows him well so subconsciously she’s pulling all the ‘right’ emotional levers even if she doesn’t fully realize it. For the feeling, here’s one way to understand it. Imagine the biological and instinctual properties that makes you woman, add the nurturing, child bearing, softness, community, etc then imagine someone gaslighting you, specifically targeting everything that makes you a woman. To be precise, target who you are (identity discard), how you…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 08:40 PM
–

That’s a long time together. Would you say size has been a main contributing factor or it’s mostly unrelated?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 01:57 AM
–

While you are trying to make a good point, it has so many blindspots. Also some women lift each other up, and some literarily put each other down, men and women doompill, and for the vast majority of people, I’d bet even possibly you, we all tend to reject it when anyone tries to give good advice/cheer us up in whatever we find to be most undesirable about us, and we stay in misery if no one does it the right way. And when something doesn’t make us happier, like complaining or any if the many th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 01:46 AM
–

It not that they overlooked it, it’s that the logical conclusion from men looking at it is expressed differently than how women do. So it’s either men go with what they are looking at and pay less attention to what a woman says, or pays attention to what a woman says and gets confused and she thinks this man does not know what he’s doing men and women just use different words to describe the exact same thing in ways that makes both sides think they are referring to different things, and then the…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:42 AM
2

The list we make of what women generally find attractive looks like the list of attributes of someone who a good thoughtful person in contrast to the list we make of what men find attractive like “anyone who would fuck him…” so the fact that woman’s attraction is moral agnostic is not as obvious to men who are told to do or be many of the good things without the clarification that they don’t have to be good people. Also the question of “should I be a good person for women to be attracted to me” …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:22 PM
1

But then that’s true for every single person except the schizophrenic. Or im misunderstanding your point
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:02 PM
–

nah this shows the original argument proves too much
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 06:17 AM
3

What does having personality mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:39 PM
1

I checked my asymmetry argument again, and yeah, it doesn’t hold waters, I was mostly wrong. For the moral failing part, it’s better to keep it immaterial to your argument. The moment you make the distinction, your argument risks completely falling apart. I can easily point out logical inconsistencies in that area as I’ve spent a considerable amount of time exploring that field, it’s not intuitive at all. What you mentioned about what women tend to look for vs men are all true in practice, but c…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:11 PM
1

I mostly agree, but I have 1 pushback and 1 push, both are just nitpicking The classification of what counts as failing vs moral failing are completely out of our reach. It’s very hard to draw a good line distinguishing them. Yes there are those that are deliberately malicious, but in most cases we don’t know is the right answer. Yes women are as you have described, but those, as simple as they seem to you, are not simple to men. Any man that gets it has put in some amount of work to get it. Tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 03:49 PM
5

Hard to say if criminals are more successful with But it’s a fact that criminals are successful with The larger picture is that women ( and men ) do not have any special ways of filtering out bad romantic interests. Women filter but that doesn’t mean the filter works. Women ( and men ) are just attracted to something, it have little to nothing to do with good or bad, and especially for many women it’s about whatever ‘feels right’ it’s much less of a cognitively risk calculated process. It’s inst…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:27 AM
4

I don’t think what you are saying disagrees with her. What you find sexually attractive just happens to be ‘good …’ but it’s not because it is good. It could have been that you are attracted to horrible things and there would have been nothing you could do about it because you did not choose what you are attracted to. attraction is morally agnostic
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 04:47 AM
–

That’s a classic straw man
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:19 PM
–

So it seems like you are violating the cooperative principle or are you just playing on words with the majority vs a lot distinction, coz those are not statistical terms as used
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:43 PM
–

I understand why you disagree, that we have the choice to decide how we want to behave, even if it’s hard , we can still choose to work on it once we know what is good to do. That’s a reasonable position But grant me the benefit of a doubt for a moment, imagine that I was right about what I said that if you take a woman and put her as a person in a male body, that she as a person would have behaviours of a man that she as a woman do not like etc, what would be the implications? What would that s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:25 PM
–

When it comes to that, I’m thinking you won’t be able to decide what you want regardless of the situation. You as a woman might not like some male behaviours, but the man as a person never chose that behaviour. If you as a person were put in a male body, you will behave in ways that you as a woman currently do not like. So all the behavioural distinctions we make at a gender level are male body vs female body distinctions, they have nothing to do with the person themselves, It’s more like this t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:53 AM
–

Assuming you were a man, do you think you will exhibit behaviours that you know men exhibit?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:08 AM
1

put aside the capital letters, straw etc, granted you are making an observation, what they are asking is if what you are observing is a moral claim
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 02:55 PM
1

That seems one sided. So by the same measure, how much women love narcissistic disorder men or even men with avoidant attachment is not the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:40 AM
1

I think it’s absolutely irrational to be on dating site, but I don’t think it harbours negative interactions any more than platforms like this one we’re on or some other ones like this do
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:33 AM
1

The “it has everything to do with men doing things …” part is the moral claim, the perception part is downstream of that. So the question was about if you are conceding to that, not specifically to the perception
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:18 AM
1

What you are saying in the way you are saying it is true is true, it supports my point. Assuming statistics say 99% of men are bad. 99%. And assuming only 1% of women are bad. It means from the entire population : we can find 1000 good men and 1000 bad women, we can find a woman who have mostly known good men. we can find a man who have mostly known bad women We can find millions of bad men We can find hundreds of bad women From what you’ve said, you are not disagreeing with 1 to 5, and we are t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:14 PM
1

That’s basically the point I’m trying to make. Statistically at population level, I can see that. At individual level, that’s a different story, I’ve never met any woman irl who was like any of those I saw in the documentary. I’ve also never met men that are serial killer, rapist etc. they’re many but not visible to me in my circles Those we tend to meet irl are our mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers and sons and daughters and friends. Saying “all Women are ….” does that include our da…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 04:48 AM
0

I don’t know about majority though, but when you watch prison documentaries about women in prisons and the crimes they committed, it doesn’t look like princesses in red dress. The crimes are unimaginably horrific. I think a human , male or female, are capable of heinous acts. Not one man or woman, not 100, not 1000, like a lot. Statistically maybe very tiny , I don’t know the details, but before that I would never have thought it’s possible to find 1000 women who have committed horrific crimes. …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 04:06 PM
1

You probably misunderstood thinking I was against her. Statistics can say all it wants, it’s useful to the people that collects the statistics. not wise to solely use by those in the statistics Men and women usually have certain experiences at population level does not mean that you will have that experience. You have to still evaluate based on your own personal situation, many of which the statistics doesn’t account for
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 03:54 PM
2

That is true fact. Sometimes, there’s usually a second way if one looks well enough, but it’s often case by case. One cannot just base personal choices based on statistical likelihood. As some are complaining some are getting married
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 02:37 PM
1

That is when the choice of male romantic partners are the kinds of males who are more likely to do that. Men also go after the kinds if women who are likely to give them that experience. People want what they can’t have and when they double down on it they are surprised by the result
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 12:29 PM
1

Have you been with an academic before and how was the relationship like? I’m curious about how differently they reason about challenges. Or is it just same typical man women dynamics with academics being just more of a side thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 02:24 AM
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It seems like we are more on the same page than not. From a people standpoint I think we are basically making the same argument
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 02:53 PM
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The impact of maintaining friendships and connections are highly underrated. And as you said, it becomes more critical as old age approaches. However, the ways to navigate that is what you underestimate. You speak of it like having 5 cars, if one is not working, just go to the store and get a new one. No car should keep you from … and so on. Those are words of the rich. You walk into a store and get more free stuff than the poor gets. You don’t even have to go to the store, you don’t have to cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:53 PM
-1

There’s truth to that history. But you can imagine men now are probably thinking they did not participate in the historic context, and why does it have to be brought up in this context. Imagine similar arguments made in regards to slavery, both men and women owned slaves, and if you are a descendant of slave owners, would you be ready to take the attribution? If we visit historic context in full, no one would remain. Therefore the historic argument is not strong For men gathering online against …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 11:34 PM
1

And imagine getting into relationship, working hard providing everything and she leaves you because she’s no longer ‘feeling ‘ it, regardless of the kids Men and women leave for all kinds of reasons that can be classified as stupid or freedom of agency etc. No gender is more innocent than the other in this respect
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:24 PM
4

We have to be careful here. Many men are not violent towards women. Many men are not violent towards woman that rejects them. Women don’t like men who become violent just because they reject him ( of course, that goes without saying) , there are many women who are attracted to violent men (serial killers etc), and there are many women who are not. There are women who are violent towards men that reject them. Making violence as a universal tendency of a specific gender without sufficient context …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:01 PM
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I see, my understanding was extremely narrow, you have lived the experience I didn’t consider when I thought about it. It seems your handling ok, but I also know it’s probably easy for me to say than you having to deal with it as life
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:50 PM
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For people that do that they have some kind of cognitive failure, like they are confused. They are confusing attraction with morality, so they resort to judgement of others, when the themselves are incomplete. Almost like projection for those that are aware of what they are doing
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:36 PM
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It seems like people in general rarely have the same experience as you, in the way you’ve described (I know everyone has probably had the experience once, that will include men too, but that’s not what you’re referring to) otherwise the world would be a different place. Do you think women on average have the same experience as you where they feel valued, seen, appreciated,and understood from friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:31 PM
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Regardless of how attractive you are, there is someone that thinks you are unattractive. Should you question why you have made yourself unattractive? Of course not because you did not make yourself unattractive so asking you to question why about something that’s not true to begin with makes no sense. By similar argument, you can’t ask the same of men. You can’t ask that of men as a group either any more than I can hold you responsible for any group level negative female behaviour
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 06:20 PM
1

We generally consider what people already pay more attention to about us to be less important because we already have the attention. If you had people pay attention to your brain but no one pays attention to your looks, wouldn’t the attention to your looks be what you’d prefer over attention to your brain?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 01:52 AM
7

Why say you never made those claims when he never said you did?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 01:27 AM
1

Very true. There’s such a wide range of interpretations people have about it and lots of external influences defining what people choose to do
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 01:35 AM
3

I see your general approach to argument, pretty cool, you’ve essentially immunized yourself against many types of counter attacks
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 03:36 PM
0

A lot of women want to be in a relationship with such men, they don’t just want to be stuck with them
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 03:27 PM
3

if she feels she’s unlucky then she should say she feels unlucky. accountability means precision, that is to say what she means. If she dated a guy that turns out to be bad, she should say she dated a guy that turns out to be bad. If she dated 10 bad men, she should say she dated 10 bad men. The problem is when she then generalizes in any way. This is a very common thing , not just women, where people try to complicate things as opposed to just saying exactly what happened or what something is. …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 08:03 PM
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When you said “instead of simply stepping back …” did you mean men ought to do that “… stepping back …” or did you mean you observe that it seems men ought to … ? If it’s the former, then that’s an ought statement and the transition from observation to that is illogical . If it’s the latter then, my bad, I’d concede
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 12:20 PM
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That is correct, so when we get a claim or observation that hinges on being about bias, I find the term appears more load bearing than what the claim might be trying to convey. bias itself does not communicate anything substantial , given that anything and everything can be construed as bias. When we remove the framing about bias, we surface the real claim
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 12:15 PM
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You didn’t make a point about why, but you did make a point about what men ought …,that’s exactly moral attribution from an observation, and that is not logical
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 12:04 PM
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What you stated implied something about morality, but when someone pushes back on you, you retreat to that you were merely stating observation. The pushback is that your observation resulted from your incomplete framing of the subject matter. While you may title it as ‘some’ men the connotation is ‘all’ men. You need to sufficiently disambiguate things for them to land well
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 11:57 AM
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Inclination towards seeing things as they are is itself a bias towards seeing things as they are
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 11:46 AM
2

Far from the truth. That attribution seems predicated on a bunch of assumptions, it’s just very off the cuff
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 08:40 AM
1

I think you totally missed what’s going on. I have a sense of what you’re trying to say and what men are trying to say, essentially we are just using different words to describe the same thing and using the same words to describe different things. And as such, talking pass each other
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 08:33 AM
1

Most people have that understanding. But the flaws in that have too many negative implications
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 09:33 PM
1

More like category error, not overlap, otherwise you’d be implying women are hypocritical when that’s not the case
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 07:08 PM
5

That makes sense. And to the ‘be yourself’ part, what I’m trying to point out is the paradox that other people are often the ones deciding if someone is being themselves or not , when they don’t know that someone enough to decide if that person is themself or not. For us to decide if someone is being themself, we have to first know what their real self is like before we can compare our observations to it. Only that person knows what their real self is. The only thing we have is to think or feel …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 07:00 PM
10

Here is the definition of the term ‘be your self’ : become somebody else, somebody who is the kind of person that will meet the goal you are trying to meet, and do so in such a way that people are convinced it’s all you. If people are not convinced it’s all you, then it doesn’t matter if you are truly ‘yourself’ or even born that way or not, it’s completely irrelevant. Successively and consistently having people convinced it’s all you is exactly what being yourself means
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 04:03 PM
3

That’s the crux of learning on the job. And you have to deal with what feels like bullshit to get to what matters. There’s no way around it. It’s like getting a mentor. You need their advice but not everything will be useful, you just take what you can and make it yours
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 11:20 AM
1

That pinch analogy is spot on. One can get a sense of what to do by one description , but one can only get a referent or pinch of it by practice, error is also part of learning, culminating in the final action. Once grown up, one has to learn on the job, which is the tricky part. Learning becomes largely about unlearning and relearning, slightly challenging for some, very brutal for others
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 11:13 AM
1

I think without rule following, there is no self reflection. There is nothing to self reflect, you only self write the rules as you go and as you feel like. Be yourself is great depending on how one understands it to be, but in most cases I’ve seen, what people mean by be yourself makes very little sense. start tangent , I like rule following and obviously ND. NT are governed by rules they just tend to not acknowledge. Those are the rules I’m interested in, not made up rules like RP. NT typicall…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 09:48 AM
5

It’s ignored because they are not important , but even the last one is lacking. Approach women and do what, say what, act like what, back out when what? There are women everywhere, those appearances don’t matter much, social skill is not that important Be yourself is still the most common advice and the best advice, and the worst advice all at the same time unless men knows what it means
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 09:21 AM
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Why not say Born-women, Trans-women, … no one will argue against that, at the same time people can make the equation or not and it will still be clear what the equation is about
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 09:00 PM
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But aren’t the dangerous men the ones that knows that and tends to wait while they have another girl serving them until wait time is over, at which there’s another girl in queue? I know good men can also wait and bad men can also be weeded out early. But the point is there is no strategy a woman can come up with about waiting that would distinguish good men from bad men. Not a matter of something not being 100% it’s more like it doesn’t apply at all Maybe the waiting thing is more about a feelin…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:21 PM
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So what are the options? You meet a guy you feel like has potential, you either have sex early or weeks or months latter No option is going to give you any advantage than doing what you feel like. You are better off doing what you feel like doing as opposed to strategically doing or holding back to gain anything . Have sex early, you know if he’s in or out. Wait months until you have sex, if he turns out to be out, then you’ve just wasted your time. Decide not to be involved with any guy? Then t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 06:11 PM
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I wander if women actually still throw real handkerchiefs these days and what a man in this age would do in such a case
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 05:26 AM
1

i see what you mean, it's not about morality. I would have said attractive/repulsive about personality traits, but repulsive means bad, although bad does not only mean repulsive/unattractive. i'm splitting hairs now, I already get your point
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 01:06 PM
1

social skills etc i'm for that advice ,good for dating. But looking at reddit, that's not the common advice I see.Even with the OP the key premise is morality, good men vs others. why do we think 'good' should have anything to do with it? You mentioned things earlier about bad personality traits. All those factors are about morality. I think the unintentional conflation of morality and attraction confuses men a lot. or are you looking at morality from a different angle?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 12:47 PM
1

Those are good advices. But the advice men get more often than not tends towards morality or being a good person as if you can’t find a partner if you are a bad person given that being bad means different things to different people. I don’t encourage anyone to be bad, but morality is a separate category and not what anyone should optimize for specifically for dating. You should be as good as you want regardless divorced from landing a date
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 03:59 AM
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You’d be shocked at how much women do this to each other. The only special case with a man is that women by default think your there for sex. If you’re not there for sex, she needs to know Above all humans do this to each other all the time. if your not already close friends with someone, expect they’ll do it to you . If you want them to do something, you just have to ask. If they refuse, you know early where you stand
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 07:14 AM
1

That makes sense, we agree on that
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 09:51 AM
1

I have a feeling that regarding belittle, degrade, control with the woman crawling back , may all have different meaning than what I’m thinking. I would have sworn before now that it’s more female fantasy than men, but seeing how you put it, it likely means something different. I know way more women that could easily leave those kinds of men , some even push the woman away, but she refuses to let him go. For the ultimate fantasy, of the fantasies I have, that has never crossed my mind, Maybe a r…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 09:38 AM
1

Both are true, it can make a man unattractive to some and magnetic to some. Even being a serial killer attracts some women ( and i mean even magnetic) and being a good person attracts some women. One has to categorize women by valence to know they are attracted to all kinds of men with all kinds of behaviours, both good and horrific The confusion men have is from dating advice that sounds like a moral advice, when attraction is not about morality at all. Men that follow dating advice on basis of…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:33 AM
–

I second this. I sense, though I’m not sure, that many dating advice are tailored towards getting the toxic ones especially if that’s what the market is filled with, then it necessarily has to be that way. All kinds of pointless mind games, you’ll just think, why I think it’s part of what makes people come out of the experience with distorted narratives like all women this or all men are that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 01:08 PM
–

Typically women do feel attracted even if an interaction never happens. For men they typically still feel attracted even after they’ve been rejected
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 05:36 AM
1

That question is gold as a response
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 05:29 AM
–

That is very interesting, how common would you say this is? For me it’s the other way, if someone doesn’t find me attractive, then their attractiveness drops regardless of how generally attractive the person is
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 05:24 AM
-1

Yeah , deceptiveness can be a strategy independent of if it’s subconscious or not. That’s a valid general structure. But to the specific question, are women being deceptive in the sense I’m referring to, I believe no, or at least not any more than we all as humans are being deceptive. I see no justifiable discriminative mode of deception
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 03:33 AM
4

Women are not being dishonest in that regard , they are running as much subconscious loop as men are, both are just running on different engines. It’s largely a valence agnostic loop. I think if you take a man and swap the engine leaving who he is intact, he’ll naturally tend towards the female behaviours, regardless of his position before the swap. If that’s true, then is it the person or the engine?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 12:47 AM
2

I think It’ll be hard to pin down the relative size of how many falls in which camp. the few women I know closely that falls in the camp of not just wanting it but has been doing it are women people would never guess would be anywhere close to that camp. I don’t know if this fits more broadly I like to believe that surveys that depend on verbal input from women are not using it directly in analysis without appropriate interpretation. It’s common to find the spectrum of semantics and connotations…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 05:50 PM
4

men getting less masculine is the typical equivalence to women gaining weight, though i wander why either one should affect, people could just communicate their needs
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 06:50 AM
–

In addition to being super clear, it has to be super distinct. Don’t do something because it’s a deal breaker is not same as don’t do something because it hurts is not same as don’t do something because it’s irritating etc The distinction is so important. I think most of the failure modes occur when the distinction is not made early enough
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 04:25 AM
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I know the feeling. yeah, you have nothing without getting a chance begin with. But I posit it's suffeciently solvable via knowledge. Then you still have to make the right choice after you get acces, the wrong choice can kill you. Then you still have to understand the choice, women don't use men-logic/reasoning/language, almost everything is inverted At every point in the chain you can find men in anguish: no girl desires me,girl friend is crazy,fiance cheated, wife dead bedroom, ex want to take…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 10:18 AM
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That’s the equation I’m making. Objectively they are not the same, yes. Most would choose to be in the Michelin star camp if given a choice. On that note women clearly have the upper hand. I’m making a case for satisfaction level, one is no more satisfied with many options than with none, assuming satisfaction is the objective function here If you had to choose 1 between living 300 years ago and being desired by many women just competing to have you but no technology etc vs living in this age bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 12:46 AM
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Consider this thought experiment What it means for a person to be or behave or act like a man or a woman is separate from who that person is, although both is presented as a whole if I could change your gender while leaving you intact, and I also change the gender of a woman you want while leaving them intact, Then you will become as a whole the kind of person you currently say have the upper hand while the other person could be making your current argument against you You can say that doesn’t c…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 11:36 PM
1

Not a claim for charisma or any kind of performance but about knowledge. Certainly they are desirable just for being women. but all that desireability is not really getting them anywhere, or at least it’s not getting them what they want. The confusion is probably in seeing that it’s getting them what men want. At the end of the day no one is getting what they want easily. And women most certainly don’t have the upper hand in getting what they want. Most men primarily just want to fuck, most wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 01:38 PM
-6

A man is attractive primarily based on what he knows significantly way more than who he is or what he has. Doesn’t this put men in a much better position ?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:20 AM
2

That’s a much better position to be, you had the chance to observe him long before dating him, you actually him not just what he has said etc, yeah this is good
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:16 AM
1

That’s very interesting. I can imagine a lot of parallels where we would accept that the person is not being selfish. Also I could be wrong about how I’m understanding it. If it’s a forced labour type of thing, then not only should men not go there, it’s deeply immoral to allow it. Or you may be pointing to something else entirely I’m not catching on the surface. What do you mean by selfish?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:04 AM
3

How do you deal with the catch 22, that the only way you can know is if they tell you, and if you ask for that information they likely won’t tell you ? And someone that will volunteer that information might be a more honest (or a more stupid) person than others you might find. Do you have a way to find out the information?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:53 AM
1

The gamble in expecting the act to be because they want to vs that she’s doing it for the money, referring to the gamble you mentioned
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:43 AM
0

I think that’s a different category of things. I’m thinking it doesn’t apply
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:35 AM
1

What if the gamble they took is different subjectively from what you think and what if they also don’t view sex as just physical, would that change how you think about it or is it only the objective interpretation that matters in this case?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:32 AM
10

Yeah gendered behaviour is the primary turn on factor for women but also primary turn off factor for men. Physical appearance is the primary turn on factor for men and primary turn off factor for women That’s what one would observe operationally Actually, both are turned on/off primarily by the same factor in the same way. But as soon as one side is the pursuer, the pursued develops a preference to filter the demand, flipping the way the factors apply . This can happen with any gender. it’s just…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:22 AM
9

Is a woman having a high body count the parallel to this or that’s a different thing altogether?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:01 AM
3

The question is can one name any negative sides of it that relationship guarantees will not happen? Is it a difference of which option more likely leads to experiencing the downsides as opposed to one option having downsides that the other option doesn’t? Also if women (as a group) talk about men seeing sex workers, aren’t those sex workers women themselves?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:57 AM
2

You think so but it’s not what you think it is. There is nothing about an extremely attractive woman that makes it worth it to cheat or get a free pass. I think novelty is what’s at play than the attractiveness. Unless you are making other assumptions about what an attractive woman would be like beyond how she looks like. Looks is just a proxy. Even if we are being shallow, looks doesn’t deliver what you think it does to make it worth such a free pass
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 11:18 PM
–

It is weird, I think the root cause is fear and tendency to retreat to whatever sounds good or feels acceptable even if it makes no logical sense. Human nature
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 10:51 PM
0

By the same token, there’s nothing you can come up with that can prove desire of a man or woman, because we can always show cases where the subject likes it. So when taken to its logical conclusion, no one has obligation to prove anything. Was that what you meant?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 09:48 PM
1

There’s a sense where that is true for anything that one finds easy to get, and not just exclusive to sex. Is the “nothing else” a specific list or you mean literarily nothing else
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 09:29 PM
1

It’s going to be hard to find people admitting to it. Many people by nature conceal their intentions, they’ll do anything to avoid being in a position where someone else can judge them. It’s baked into how we communicate, with sexual Implicatures with plausible deniability so we can freely reframe the situation in retrospect in however way that preserves the image of our self
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 02:07 AM
–

it is very much subjective, yeah. all the something-pill just tends to generalize, I just hope people remember to pay attention to the person in front of them than assume they know something about ‘all women’ or ‘all men’ to apply in every case. Who the person is counts a lot. I’d pick a good person a million times over other options, no matter what features or resources they have. Notionally, settling does happen on both ends, like for any good person, there’s always going to be someone better …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 12:04 AM
4

It seems like a vibe preference. Not bad. As long as we know there’s no reliable way to determine if you’re part of a numbers game or if they actually find you attractive etc. all there is is whatever we are comfortable with. We have little control over the rest
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:37 PM
–

No matter who you choose to be with , there is always someone better in all the ways you care about. If that is true, then in being with the person you chose to be with , you necessarily settled. How would you disagree with this argument ?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:28 PM
1

It does wear off, and it actually depends. If the man is good and kind inside etc he’ll tend to think about how he makes his women feel. If he’s not that way, he’ll probably think the woman is there precisely because he doesn’t show that kind of care. While the woman keeps hoping for one day when he’ll finally see her. I think some times men tends to overcorrect, should i be a nice guy or a bad boy? women say that’s not the right question … men just eventually pick whichever works, women raises …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 12:28 AM
1

It’s just that as a “necessary evil”. Many times neurotypical communication is a mess. One has to be comfortable with ambiguities and mind reading and “common sense” along with all kinds of logical fallacies and double binds … necessary yet unattractive mess
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:41 PM
1

While that is true , what happens after that depends on what really likes you means. Some really likes you because you show little to no effort. Once that changes, the really likes you drops Another type of really likes you is where you match her type almost exactly. In this case she’ll stick to you no matter what. If she really likes you for a functional reason, you have to keep the function up . If it’s for a physical reason, your physical will do the work for you. any functional effort you ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:13 PM
1

I think that’s very reasonable
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 05:42 PM
1

By intelligent conversation, do you mean knowledge about specific topics or ability to reason about things in general? or what type of intelligence in particular?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 04:59 AM
7

Same experience, it’s very consistent
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:09 AM
3

The main problem is that the terms are used out of context. What most people mean vs what red pillers mean vs what it actually means are largely different It surely has almost nothing to do with morality, but people conflate them. Bad boy, nice guy… they are just a matter of taste than of character. Yes people would associate it with character in no different ways than associating a woman’s beauty or weight to being about health in the dating context
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:02 PM
–

Searching for someone we are attracted to who is attracted to us is not bad, but the problem is idea that such a person must exist and that if we can’t find such a person then it reflects badly on us . Even worse is when one thinks one shouldn’t have to make any changes to one’s self to improve the chances. Most areas of life has conditions you have to meet to be a good fit. Men and women have conditions. Women are not magical beings that are hard to figure out. Sometimes it’s not even about fig…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:40 PM
–

I see, so the concept is vague. There’s a line between presenting yourself as you are and not presenting yourself as you are and that line is what is not defined. Everyone is putting it anywhere they like and we are all arguing about it. Doing only one of the two in any context is almost always problematic. Aside that, no one knows what constitutes ‘yourself’ most people are just taking it to be whatever meaning they assign to that. Without any key changes to self, you, me , most human beings wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:08 PM
–

What does it even mean to be yourself, I’m yet to find a concrete meaning anywhere . Everyone seems to discuss it like the meaning is established, but we could all be referring to different things, or even to something that makes no sense at all
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 02:38 PM
1

That’s exactly what I’m trying to point out. That is my belief as well, and it’s natural to me. I wanted to point out that it shouldn’t be predicated on biology , hence my question
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 01:16 AM
0

All true but likely excluding the reasons about having children. what about those who have chosen to be childless / child free ?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 11:58 PM
-1

What about women that don’t want children ?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 11:52 PM
4

What does holding to higher standards mean ?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 11:44 PM
1

The disgust threshold for anything always decreases when one has more ways to fulfill need, it happens with men and women for almost anything. You’d tend to look at that same spaghetti differently if that spaghetti is the only food you have left for the month. Men with enough options similarly have lower disgust threshold for women, it’s not gender specific. And you’re right, women tend to have lower disgust threshold. That’s the reality actually
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 10:36 PM
1

I find it’s more about the person than about the taste things leave. Most things leaves bad taste on first try, but the choice to try it again often depends on other deeper stuff like priority, tolerance level,fear, illness of some sort etc
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 01:30 AM
1

The tendencies for moral superiority largely stems from deep insecurities which they overcompensate , and it often doesn’t work out . Most of us , men and women, follow very similar pattern in various domains, we are all behaving the same way so we are all the same in that respect. We are both good and shitty people at the same time. staying on topic, you are not wrong in current context
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 03:44 PM
1

When they say that , they are just being defensive and cliche-ing response , but in actuality they are just confused. Certainly being a nice person is a good thing. No one wants someone who is not nice . The nice guy term just has a bad connotation, very similar to people pleasers , everyone loves people who knows how to please people, but people pleasers do not know how to please people or they please in ways that are repulsive and comes off as trying too hard. In short women want a guy who is …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 02:47 PM
1

The questions and the answers are correct. I think the reason you provided as to why that is so is inaccurate . The actual reasons are not of morality but they are so much worse nonetheless . But overall they don’t think they are good or bad any more than others do. The problem is much deeper than stated
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 01:21 PM
1

Very interesting argument , I think it’s sound and true when one really thinks about it . what people post here often have holes , but this is a clean argument
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 01:14 PM
1

Allowing that makes the answer significantly easier. Keeping the sex asymmetric results in tougher more interesting options
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 02:57 PM
7

This list is hm What if you meet the perfect guy . Check . Then you go on to have children that fails many of those , what would you do? What if you find out that you yourself fail some of those , or it’s not conceivable?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 02:34 AM
9

While I get what you mean , the connotation does not represent the truth of the matter. As much as there are men like that , there are women that brings a good share amount of baggage into the relationship that one could say it’s better for men to be single . No side is better than the other . It’s a human thing There are prisons full of male criminals as there are prisons full of female criminals. Unless you say relationship is an exception where women are the better than men ? In relationships…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 02:28 AM
0

Wouldn’t that be health shaming?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 06:53 AM
1

No direct evidence, but isn’t it explained by the economics of it ? Usually such a man she naturally finds attractive that wants her back is not common. When you find it , the value increases in your eyes and so will the level of short comings you’d be willing to accept , which may not align with the norm The key is that what the sight and thought of him can naturally do to your body would take significantly more of you explaining to another guy to achieve the same effect. The pleasure is so hig…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 07:19 PM
1

There’s pretty boy , but there’s also the boy she personally naturally finds attractive . Based on what I’ve seen , I believe she will do anything for the latter
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 06:42 PM
2

This in my opinion is the single key reason for all the relationship dynamics when it comes to dating and who is pursuing who I wish men and women get this Men and women often think that men know how to have good orgasms . I posit it’s fundamentally all about orgasms The day men figure out how to actually have good orgasms , that’s the day the relationship dynamics will change drastically. All these about who should approach whom current rules will vanish . High value low value labels will be no…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 09:09 AM
27

A man needs to be able to hear AND speak PD when interacting with a woman. Any woman , there’s no way around it
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 04:00 PM
3

I dont think by other women. It’s usually by the woman herself and the fear of being judged by the man .
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 02:53 AM
1

I see. Thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 12:01 AM
1

Empathy is just a bandage. I used to be a big proponent, but I’ve seen many ways it does more harm than good. It’s one of those things that people believe they want , but what they truly need is different. It’s a misnomer
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 11:56 PM
1

That makes sense. What would you say is most frequent connotation of aggression women refers to , the physical bodily harm form of aggression or the other types of aggression like verbal, emotional, relational, passive etc or the distinction is often not that useful ? When I think of aggression, the verbal , emotional etc crosses my mind much less than the physical direct combative attack at risk of bodily damage or life. This and only this version might be what men have in mind through the argu…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 06:14 PM
1

I think every post should begin with a set of definitions. In so many cases , what a man labels as fear etc is different from what a woman labels. Same goes for many other terms that looks simple in the surface. E.g I don’t think there is an agreement on what love means and that’s supposed to be one of the most common feelings in relationships. When women use the word safety ( I’m taking it to mean the opposite of fear) in the dating context, I understand they mean fear of being judged . It’s of…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 05:25 PM
1

option 2 is not even an option . the off and on is a terrible psychological hook, almost like a drug, painful if not impossible to get out off. potentially physically and mentally damaging. that's an easy no , even if it was 4 times a week . not an option. I don't care how hot she may be option 1, hm . it's a hard yes. sex off the table is a .... hard pill to swallow. But if the person is truly with those characteristics , like in the way i define them , very hard yes, but i'll take option 1. I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 12:34 AM
–

Most is too wide a net to cast
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 06:51 AM
–

I find many of the rejections happening more after they’ve gotten to know each other a bit like after 1 day plus of meeting and she’s starting to really like him . Women I know experienced this refer to it as rejection, which is different from man walk up to her and he gets rejected kind of rejection . They still referred to it as rejection non the less
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 06:49 AM
2

total sociopaths? Ouch!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:24 AM
3

The thing to know is that they are not genuinely better than you, and the quest to do better can never be attained as hedonic adaptation will make sure that . They are just under the influence of the paradox of choice , no different than ordering stuff from Amazon, it’s a normal human logical response trying to maximize an objective , it’s just tough to be on the receiving end , but at the end of the day , how good or bad they feel is no different from anybody else . And perhaps in other areas o…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 02:05 AM
6

Everyone is settling, it’s just to what degree . If there exists someone in the world you’d want to be with if you had a chance, but you don’t have such a chance, then you adjust your expectations. That’s settling . Human wants are generally insatiable, and no one is perfect but there’s always someone more ‘perfect’ than you or than the person you have chosen to be with who happens to also choose you. So both settle Anyone that doesn’t settle is either the best human in the world (which we proba…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 10:11 PM
1

True in so many cases The key mistake many men make is to conflate morality with attractiveness. But I think the messaging from the men and women who are trying to help men be more attractive is largely to be blamed. They tell men things like “be confident and be a good guy not a nice guy and value yourself, and women will value you” etc . They don’t know that advice is about attracting women ( both great and terrible women ) it’s not an advice about morality, or goodness , even though being goo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 04:31 PM
1

It depends. Doesn’t apply to many women. As a rule of thumb, any general rule when it comes to women is almost never general
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 12:06 PM
0

The typical narrative is often about men attracting women, not men attracting good women, so men often simply focus on getting women without filtering good from bad . When men hear some women generalize men and say ‘men are …’ the connotation is that ‘women are not …’ not ‘good women are not …. But bad women are …’. . I think distinguishing good women from bad women gets in the way of some women’s tendency to make gender specific negative attributions , so much that the idea that some women are …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 11:58 AM
2

What commonly shared comes down to stereotypes. In actuality, you’ll find women such that looks is the main determining factor for attractiveness, for some other , it’s absolutely not . I say determining factor because women don’t care about looks any more than men don’t care about not looks . We all care about looks , but the main determining factor can be different from person to person regardless of gender. What I think is implied is that the determining factor be made explicit , because it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 10:07 PM
1

The covariance of mind blowing sex and relationship type is close to zero
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 06:39 AM
3

It happens so many times. I imagine women won’t recognize it as presented by OP . I find often times women interpretation of it is different from men’s. I asked a female friend a similar question and she distanced herself from it . I asked it a different way , and she thought it was totally normal
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 12:52 AM
3

if all men updated their bio , wouldn’t that significantly decrease the number of profiles women can read through? Apps need to have flags people can just filter on , more efficient. The best bio would likely be from the guy that writes the best bio , rather than from the best guy
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:45 PM
2

Absolutely. it’s just very hard to find the right man , no matter how much care one puts into it . people mostly just get lucky to find someone whose changes through life they continue to like , and who doesn’t change into someone that stops liking them. A horrible man for one woman may be the perfect man for another. All that goes for men as well , except we become as selective after rather than before
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 03:09 AM
1

husband that is not matching what he is getting is like husband that just sits back , stops brining anything to the table , basically act like he is in a FWB , and let the wife do everything, have sex with him , cook for him, care for him etc that's the scenario i'm refering to
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:55 PM
1

I've been there , nothing comes anywhere close to relationship/marriage, I personally believe it's the most fulfiling and rewarding experience that trickles down to everything else . but it depends on both loving each other and in sync and that is not a given, it's not the norm. If you are in one , you've hit a big jackpot. FWB is not necessarily bad, some people should NOT be in a relationship for thier own good and for the good of others
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 05:49 PM
0

Seems for a guy on the receiving end the gain is generally net the same , husband matches or exceeds what he’s getting otherwise scenario outcomes are wife either becomes a slave or husband stops getting both the sex and the person. fwb is often not totally favourable for her , but likely totally favourable for him, and he can scale that up as high as possible, she typically won’t
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 07:44 AM
1

I’m not sure where that came from and there are better options than those two . If a man becomes toxic or struggles that’s his personal choice. It’s irresponsible and selfish to think anyone, not just women, should conform to what a man wants. To be bitter about it is not any better if the bitterness does not change the situation. ‘bad boy’ is an unfortunate misnomer, and many times the nice guy is a good person who unintentionally causes harm in unintuitive ways. Nice guy aside, many good peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 06:58 PM
1

Yeah , the main problem is many people mix morality with attraction . Both are mostly separate. Nice guy bad boys arguments often mix this up though I get why. Everyone is always making trade offs between taste and what’s actually beneficial, and we all often go for taste more times than not Aside that I can imagine ways a bad boy is inherently more attractive and nice guys just need to overcome a few internal issues to attain identical level attractiveness We know bad boys are bad , that’s exac…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:11 AM
1

Paying for date and expecting to get something is just a narrow case of a more general thing both men and women do. Best to avoid paying or giving anything to anyone more than you are willing to loose, because you will almost always loose it, unless you’re buying goods/services or trust is already built . applies to date, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife , job , anyone ... It’s the second root of all evils.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 03:07 AM
2

Let me hypothesize here .. To many women romance is different from intimacy and romance can be without intimacy, but the most reliable signal a woman can give about how she feels aside from expressing her romantic feelings with words is to use intimacy . Not a lot of women will constantly express how they feel with words , thus the only signal is intimacy. If it’s not there and then no way to know if/when relationship is dead under the roof . Same with if a man doesn’t reassure a woman, she star…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 10:52 PM
3

That’s a very well rounded observation
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 03:11 AM
3

It’s hard to impossible to compare both sides . It’s whatever value those in give to it , and often counter intuitive . The getting more from working together than separately makes a lot of sense. It has to cover both as well as the overhead created from being together. In all its virtually impossible to compare from outside
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 03:06 AM
–

The fundamental flaw here is moralizing the situation, The changes you make are not for the ‘better’ or about being a ‘better’ person. You can be a good or an absolutely evil person and still attract women. and women is too broad a category to make certain kinds of generalizations. There are good women, evil women, kind women , godly women and women that can destroy your life , as much as there are all those kinds of men . Women changing or not changing, wanting or not wanting is so orthogonal t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 11:02 PM
–

It’s much simpler than what most make of it. It’s just the state of things . Moralizing things just makes it complicated. A woman would respond like a woman. If the exact same woman were a man , she would most likely respond like a man . Whatever you are born into , fortunate or unfortunate , what can you do about it ? What not to do is to think there is some high road , or ‘right’ way to be when it comes to this . It’s not a product of what anyone person caused , it’s just the current dynamics …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 04:29 AM
1

Helps men and women with what ?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 04:44 AM
1

This is a refreshing read ,you both are truly lucky
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 07:08 AM
0

That’s what a good date looks like, it’s a win win . all the fresh breeze, shared experience walking side by side, other people moving, can’t get boring, if something unexpected happens to cost even 100 bucks, it’ll have good meaning . It gets cold, put your jacket on her , heck let her take it home , so many opportunities much better than fancy ass restaurant , from which she gets home and can’t remember feeling anything, while his pockets felt everything
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 04:36 PM
1

Exactly my thoughts. I’d even say closer to 0. dates at a table seem like wasted opportunity when you could both have a mini adventure/fun , see how each other walks, talks etc , not just sitting there in formal clothing, steering each other in the face like an interview session. At least that’s how I think about it . My guess is that women don’t say “oh my god ,he paid for the meal, I’m so into him …”
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 11:59 AM
2

You can’t generalize, i personally know guys who didn’t put in effort, unless ‘mystery’ counts as effort. I think they were just at the right place at the right time, even in my case with my first gf
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 06:39 AM
1

It’s a double edged double standard Anytime that happens, it suggests the wrong problem is probably being solved
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/24 12:32 PM
–

Well it will suck to know they don’t prefer my body type, that’ll knock off some points from how much I desire them but if they are still willing to date me nonetheless and something else offsets the points knocked off and if what they didn’t prefer about me is not an insecurity for me , which in this case it isn’t, I’d date them That’s a lot of ands so probability I’d date them is significantly smaller but not 0 At that point I’m thinking whoever anyone is dating, there exists someone better th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 09:02 AM
–

Doesn’t that inadvertently create a self fulfilling prophecy?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 06:19 AM
1

I think there’s truth to this . Surprisingly , it seems to generalize beyond just male / female. The same behaviour emerge when any two human is in the same selection dynamics. It’s mind blowing the amount of things it can explain
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 07:06 AM
6

Spot on , first time seeing anyone express this about it not just being an intellectual pragmatic risk
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 06:45 AM
1

Answer might be to not bring up the questions in a relationship unless both sides are sufficiently emotionally equipped to handle the response. But as a theoretical exercise : 1. Would be fun to know 2. Yes, with a clarifying conversation 3. As generally the best. Others have their merits case by case 4. Depends on what ‘strong’ means. They are stronger than each other in various ways . Also depends on what love means , (like consciousness ) , or if they qualify each other ( lustfully in love) 5…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 06:08 AM
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