~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| – | BOTH men and women are VISUAL creatures however men don't need to like her personality when it comes to sexNot disagreeing with you, just trying to describe it in a more neutral way. I suspect that many women also want to be desired the way they desire men and not the way men desire them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/26 03:02 PM |
| – | BOTH men and women are VISUAL creatures however men don't need to like her personality when it comes to sexPut another way, they want to be desired the way they desire others. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/26 02:53 PM |
| – | Clubbing creates completely different feedback loops for young men and womenIf you're trying to make an objective comparison of attractiveness of young women in the late 20th century & now, you'll need to take into account average weights & obesity rates as well as all the other points you cited. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/26 07:03 PM |
| 3 | There is no excuse for a man to wait until after a woman is pregnant to tell her that he wants a paternity test.Lots of studies in different places in the developed world find overall paternity fraud rates of 1-4% in unbiased samples (that is, not people who got paternity tests because they thought they had reason to suspect fraud, those are the studies with much higher rates that manosphere types cite). I was being conservative and picked a round number a bit less than 1.5% since I assume the rate is lower for couples where there's no reason for suspicion, and I don't think 1-2% is a particularly controv… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/26 08:07 PM |
| 1 | There is no excuse for a man to wait until after a woman is pregnant to tell her that he wants a paternity test.Thank you. I've made this point elsewhere, and I think you're the first woman online that has ever said they agree. Luckily I've never been in that position, but to me the conflicting emotions about responsibility for a child who you love but who is also a constant reminder of betrayal would be at least as damaging as the financial implications, but that's something that can't be fixed with just money. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/26 07:38 PM |
| 2 | There is no excuse for a man to wait until after a woman is pregnant to tell her that he wants a paternity test.So what do you say to the men who had no good reason to believe their partner was untrustworthy but it turned out that she was and the child's not his? Happens something like 50,000 times a year in the US (assuming 1-2% of 3.6 million births/year, which if you have a better estimate, I'd be interested). Is it then the man's fault for not asking for a test because he should've known somehow? And if nobody finds out until the kid takes an Ancestry test at age 20, is that just too bad for the man a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/26 07:31 PM |
| 0 | There is no excuse for a man to wait until after a woman is pregnant to tell her that he wants a paternity test.Maybe I shouldn't speak for other men, but I assume a lot of them are bugged by the same thing that bugs me when this is discussed - how so many women say the request is unforgivable because it shows suspicion that they're capable of something so horrible (which I can understand), but when paternity fraud actually happens, most women online will downplay the seriousness and tell the betrayed man he shouldn't be so upset. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/26 07:04 PM |
| 1 | There is no excuse for a man to wait until after a woman is pregnant to tell her that he wants a paternity test.Don't think of it as just cheating - that seems like you're downplaying its seriousness. Cheating is a betrayal, sure, but it's a whole different level of horrible to trick one's partner into loving a child that they see as the product of their love when it's actually the product of betrayal. The partner can deal with cheating pretty straightforwardly by divorcing/breaking up, but there's no easy answer to paternity fraud because you've created lifelong obligations to a child who is innocent of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/26 06:41 PM |
| 2 | Continuing a “Friendship” with a woman is not a good idea.The head over heels people you were talking about probably would've done better to declare their interest (I don't like "confess," bc it sounds like something you should be ashamed of) before they became head over heels, maybe as soon as they realized they had what you would call a small crush. They probably could've handled the rejection a little easier that way, and if they weren't rejected, they could've gotten with the person earlier. I get that it's hard to feel good when she's gushing abou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 08:31 PM |
| 1 | What should be the appropriate punishment for a paternity fraud?Sure. I assume a paternity test would do the trick, or at least put the onus on her to convincingly argue that she had no idea how she got pregnant by someone else (blackout drunk or something, maybe?). I assume if you could prove she had had sex with someone else (whether or not they used protection, because protection isn't 100% effective) around the assumed time of conception, that would be sufficient to show that she had reason to think it might not be the case. You do get in to the complica… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 08:03 PM |
| 1 | What should be the appropriate punishment for a paternity fraud?Sure, but in my state 2 is the minimum (and I suppose if prosecutors thought 2 was too much given the facts of the case, they might be able to charge a lesser crime). I thought you would argue that even 2 was too severe given the fact of a child being involved. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 07:48 PM |
| 1 | What should be the appropriate punishment for a paternity fraud?OK, if you're saying that imprisoning someone who defrauds someone else of many thousands of dollars is not a proportionate response to the seriousness of the offense, we just disagree. If I were to commit a fraud of that magnitude, I would consider myself very lucky to avoid prison time. At least in my state, theft by deception of $25,000 or more is punishable by 2 to 20 years. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 07:32 PM |
| 1 | What should be the appropriate punishment for a paternity fraud?OK, if a single mom defrauds another individual of many thousands of dollars, is the fact that she's a single mom a stay-out-of-jail card? How about if it's a single dad - does that make it different? Or are you saying that because the victim had the misfortune to be married to the offender, the crime isn't as serious and so doesn't merit the same consequences? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 07:09 PM |
| 2 | What should be the appropriate punishment for a paternity fraud?So if a single mom robs a bank (nonviolently) or embezzles money, is the fact that she's a single mom a stay-out-of-jail card? How about if it's a single dad? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/26 10:30 PM |
| 2 | What should be the appropriate punishment for a paternity fraud?When you sign or accept a birth certificate (a government document), are you asserting that everything in it is true to the best of your knowledge? If so, then if the mom is asserting that the not-bio-dad is the bio dad to the best of her knowledge even though she has reason to think it might not be the case, would that be perjury? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/26 10:27 PM |
| 1 | No woman who is not already thinking about divorce will actually gonna divorce you for getting a paternity testThat's a good one. I have "distinctive" enough looks that if the child really was unfortunate enough to look like me, I probably would understand such a request and not be too upset. My go-to question for women who would be so upset at being suspected of having done such a horrible thing (and I can understand why they'd be upset) is why, when paternity fraud actually happens (let's say 1-2% of the time, or about 50,000 times/year in the US) that most women seem to think it's not such a horrible … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 09:40 PM |
| 1 | Go bag and DNA tests are equivalentI'm not saying the relationship itself is a trick (or a deception; I don't see the difference). By the time the deception is discovered, it's a real relationship, but the relationship wouldn't exist if not for the deception, so I don't think it devalues it to say that even if it's real now, it's the result of deception. That's why it hurts so much. Also, it's not the same as "just" the deception of infidelity but the deception of saying this child is biologically related to him. The deception of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 11:35 PM |
| 1 | Go bag and DNA tests are equivalentBut I'm not saying he doesn't love the child. I'm saying that he loves the child now, and that's why it hurts so much, that the child he loves is also the product of, and a constant reminder of, betrayal. If the mother had told him when she was pregnant that the child wasn't his (or might not be his & he could get a test), then he could have walked away with much less damage to either him or the child. But because the mother tricked him (and the child) by saying he was the father, now he and the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 07:54 PM |
| 1 | Go bag and DNA tests are equivalentAre you taking into account the situations where the presumed father has no reason to believe that something needs to be addressed, but it does? I don't have as much sympathy (though still some, of course) for men who don't ask for a test if they should reasonably have suspected that they're not the bio father - ONS's, known infidelity, etc. - as I do for the men who had no idea that this was a risk and only find out after the child is born & they've been tricked into loving a child that they no… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 02:56 AM |
| 1 | Go bag and DNA tests are equivalentCan you elaborate on your 60% vs. 84% sentence? Given how carefully worded your post is, I assume you aren't saying that 40% of the time paternity fraud doesn't harm anyone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 02:43 AM |
| 1 | Men are less emotionally open and more prone to bottle things up because women are not ready to see some parts of men and straight disagree with some of their feelings.Late to the discussion, but isn't the whole stereotype of women often not wanting solutions to their problems but empathy when they vent just women wanting emotional labor from men? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/26 08:35 PM |
| 2 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADYou know that if someone likes you, they like you for who you are & not what you look like. (Not that this makes up for the disadvantage that people are less likely to want to get to know who you are if they don't like the way you look...) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 10:27 PM |
| 1 | If marriage benefits men more than women, why are women always the ones pressuring their partner into marriage?Another issue, which I've mentioned in a different sub, is that a big, complicated wedding is going to take a long time to plan. Once my wife & I were sure we wanted to marry, we wanted to get on with being married and not take months to plan a party, because we were more excited about being married than getting married. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/08/25 12:02 AM |
| 2 | "Women are not a monolith" but the Tea App is #1 at the Apple storeI would replace your "when" with "if." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/25 01:37 AM |
| 1 | "Women are not a monolith" but the Tea App is #1 at the Apple storeCan't argue with you there. We could probably have a detailed discussion of exactly how the two contexts are similar and how they're different, but it's easier & simpler to conclude that there are lots of hypocrites of both genders. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/25 01:35 AM |
| 1 | "Women are not a monolith" but the Tea App is #1 at the Apple storeAnd it seems like a lot of women (online, anyway) strongly oppose trust but verify in that context. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/07/25 03:22 PM |
| 2 | "Women are not a monolith" but the Tea App is #1 at the Apple storeI've seen reports on recent studies saying that while exercise is good for lots of reasons, diet has much more influence over weight than exercise does. That said, I find that when I exercise a lot, I eat less too, so it may be that exercise has indirect weight-loss benefits too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/07/25 01:50 AM |
| 2 | "Women are not a monolith" but the Tea App is #1 at the Apple storeShould men be able to trust but verify too, or is questioning your gf's/wife's fidelity wrong? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/07/25 01:45 AM |
| 1 | It's not offensive to ask for dna testExcept when you say "these men," it sounds like you're thinking about 1-2% of all men, and my whole point is that men don't know whether or not they're in the 1-2% who have no reason to suspect infidelity but are being deceived. And yes, I think some men wouldn't like having to choose between blowing up their relationship on the one hand and a low but non-zero chance of a horrible betrayal on the other when a test seems like an easy option. And that's an argument for raising the issue long befor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/25 02:45 AM |
| -1 | It's not offensive to ask for dna testHow did you do the math? If there are 3.6 million US births/year, $17 billion means each test would cost almost $5,000. Even the poster's $1.8 billion assumes $500/test, and that seems high if Ancestry can charge $60 or whatever (or maybe $180 to test both presumed parents & the baby). Or are you assuming that hospitals would have to hire extra security & counseling to deal with all the upset not-bio-dads? If so, that doesn't seem to square with your argument that there really aren't that many i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/25 05:31 PM |
| 1 | It's not offensive to ask for dna testYou'll be on the hook for child support, but at least you will know early on to divorce and won't have bonded all that much with the child. It's much better for the child too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/25 05:12 PM |
| 1 | It's not offensive to ask for dna testSome of us think that between 1 and 3% is a lot, given the consequences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/25 05:05 PM |
| 2 | It's not offensive to ask for dna testIt would be a somewhat similar level of offensive. (I think paternity fraud is worse than "just" cheating, so they're not identical - the accusation and the consequences of the act are both worse.) Seems reasonable that a wife who knows she's been faithful would ask her husband for an STD screening to "balance" his offense in asking her for a paternity test. I would hope the husband would agree to the screening and understand why she's asking, and that they could both get over it once the tests … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/25 04:58 PM |
| 1 | It's not offensive to ask for dna testBut even in scenarios where the man doesn't see any reason to suspect infidelity, it happens, let's say 1%-2% of the time. Not often, but I'm pretty sure that hospitals check for diseases/conditions that only happen 1-2% of the time. Would you be ok with 1-2% of men raising kids not biologically theirs, and possibly finding out later in life, with devastating consequences for both not-bio-father and for the child, when tests are a relatively simple way to prevent this? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/25 04:40 PM |
| 1 | It's not offensive to ask for dna testIt's somewhat like her making that accusation, but him cheating and having a child with another woman isn't as bad (though still very much a betrayal) as her cheating and having a child with another man and convincing her partner that the child is her partner's and leading him and the child to bond so that it's later devastating to both not-bio-father and child when the truth comes out. Also, I think that, at least in most U.S. states, if a man waits until after the baby is born & his name is on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/06/25 04:32 PM |
| 1 | CMV: In the wake of finding out he’s not the father, anything a paternity fraud victim does (short of physical violence towards others) is the fault of the mother.The Wikipedia article mentions several studies. For the sake of argument, let's say it's something like 2% of babies or 2% of families (because of multiple children in many families). Seems like a reasonable guess after looking at the article. That's certainly not 20% or 40%, but it's also a lot of children, maybe one in every two school classrooms, and a lot of betrayed fathers. Aren't babies routinely tested for lots of diseases or conditions, some of which they have a less than 2% chance of h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/10/24 01:53 AM |
| 2 | Where to find green flag peopleVolunteering (usually) is a sign that someone doesn't just care about themselves. That makes them more likely to be a good partner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/09/24 07:31 PM |
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